Part 7

Don’t you? It’s very simple. It’s a matter of no importance. She’s glad that I’ve been amused. If she only knew how much amusement I’ve got out of it! She looks upon it in the light of a--of a change of air.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_Furiously._] Oh! Oh! Oh! A fortnight’s golf at the seaside, I suppose.

DICKIE.

Something like that.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

I’d sooner she divorced you.

DICKIE.

Thanks, I wouldn’t.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

Oh, what a humiliation! I’ve been just a convenience because she had other fish to fry. How sordid it makes the whole thing! And I was yearning for romance. I would never have looked at you if I hadn’t thought she doted on you.

DICKIE.

I have an idea that affairs of this sort are only romantic when they happen to other people. When they happen to yourself--well, sordid’s just the word.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_Suddenly remembering._] And Mrs. Mack?

DICKIE.

She’s known all about that too.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

D’you mean that to-day when we ...?

DICKIE.

Mingled your tears? I think hers were about as real as yours.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

And she led me on to say one thing after another.

DICKIE.

I think she’s been pulling both our legs successfully.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

How on earth am I going to meet her now?

DICKIE.

She’ll be all right. She’ll be just as charming as ever.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

You fool! Don’t you see that if she’s charming to me it’s because she thinks she’s prettier than I am, and cleverer than I am, and more fascinating than I am? She doesn’t even despise me, she’s indifferent to me.

[_She goes to the glass and looks at herself._

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_Furiously._] A change of air.

[_The door opens slowly, and_ PENELOPE _comes in. She has changed into motoring things._ MRS. FERGUSSON _gives a sudden gasp as she sees her and turns her face away. For a moment_ PENELOPE _stands still, looking at them reflectively_. DICKIE _aimlessly arranges things on a table_.

PENELOPE.

[_With a faint smile._] I’m not disturbing you, am I?

DICKIE.

Er....

PENELOPE.

Yes?

DICKIE.

Nothing.

[_Suddenly, with a sob_, MRS. FERGUSSON _sinks into a chair, and hiding her face bursts into tears_. PENELOPE _gives her a look of surprise and goes swiftly up to her. She leans over her, with her hand on_ MRS. FERGUSSON’S _shoulder_.

PENELOPE.

[_Almost tenderly._] What? Real tears?

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_In a broken voice._] I feel so ridiculous.

PENELOPE.

[_With a little smile, as if she were talking to a child._] Don’t. Don’t cry.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

I look such a perfect fool.

PENELOPE.

It’s so tiresome of our little sins to look foolish when they’re found out, instead of wicked.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

I shall never respect myself again.

PENELOPE.

Dry your tears, dear. Uncle Davenport has just come, and he wants to know if it’s respectable to ask you to lunch with him alone.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_With a suspicion of her old manner._] He’s so sympathetic. I’d like to have a heart-to-heart talk with him.

PENELOPE.

You’ll find the Carlton a most suitable place.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

Are my eyes red?

PENELOPE.

Not a bit. I’ll get you some powder.

[_She takes the powder-box off a table, and_ MRS. FERGUSSON _meditatively powders her nose_.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

I like him. He talks of all the duchesses by their Christian names.

[PEYTON _announces_ BARLOW _and goes out_.

PEYTON.

Mr. Davenport Barlow.

[_As he comes in_, MRS. FERGUSSON _finally and entirely regains her usual manner_.

PENELOPE.

[_Kissing her uncle._] How d’you do?

BARLOW.

[_Advancing gallantly to_ MRS. FERGUSSON.] This is a pleasing surprise. I was under the impression you were in Paris.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

No, poor Mrs. Mack was suddenly taken much worse.

BARLOW.

It is my gain.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

It’s too nice of you to say so, but I’m leaving London at once all the same.

BARLOW.

But this is very sudden. What shall we do without you?

MRS. FERGUSSON.

You must blame Dr. O’Farrell.

DICKIE.

[_Astonished._] Me?

MRS. FERGUSSON.

He tells me that now I’m quite strong enough for a foreign climate, and, of course, nothing will induce me to remain an hour away from my husband if I’m not obliged to.

BARLOW.

But I thought he was bravely fighting for his country.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

Well, you see, there doesn’t happen to be any fighting for him to do just now, and he’s taken a very nice house at Malta. And I shall start to-morrow.

BARLOW.

This is more distressing than I can say. And are you going straight through?

MRS. FERGUSSON.

No, I shall stop a day or two in Paris on my way.

BARLOW.

How very singular! I had made all arrangements to go to Paris to-morrow myself.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

Then would you mind looking after me on the journey? You see, I’m a womanly woman, and I’m quite helpless in the train by myself.

BARLOW.

I should look upon it as a privilege. And perhaps we might go to one or two plays while you’re there.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

If you’ll promise not to take me to anything risky.

BARLOW.

Ha, ha, ha.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_To_ PENELOPE.] Well, dear, I must say good-bye to you. I’m afraid we shan’t meet again for some time.

PENELOPE.

Good-bye.

[_They kiss one another affectionately._

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_To_ DICKIE.] Good-bye. If you hear of anything good on the Stock Exchange, you might let me know. I think I shall cut my loss on Johannesburg and New Jerusalems.

DICKIE.

I would.

MRS. FERGUSSON.

[_To_ BARLOW.] I have a cab downstairs. Can I give you a lift anywhere?

BARLOW.

It would be very kind of you.

[_With a nod to_ DICKIE _she goes out_.

BARLOW.

[_Shaking hands with_ PENELOPE.] Charming creature. So dashing and a thorough gentlewoman.

PENELOPE.

Now, mind, Uncle Davenport, no pranks.

BARLOW.

My dear, I’m not only the soul of honour, but fifty-two.

[_Exit._

PENELOPE.

[_As he goes out._] I suppose that does induce a platonic state of mind.

DICKIE.

[_With a sigh of relief._] Ouf!

[PENELOPE _turns to a glass to arrange her hat_. DICKIE _watches her with a smile_.

Well?

PENELOPE.

[_Pretending to be surprised._] I beg your pardon?

DICKIE.

You promised to kiss me.

PENELOPE.

I didn’t. I promised to allow myself to be kissed.

DICKIE.

[_Taking her in his arms and kissing her._] You little beast.

PENELOPE.

Finished?

DICKIE.

Not nearly.

PENELOPE.

Then I’m afraid you must go on another time. I’ve got a taxi at the door, and it’s costing twopence a minute.

DICKIE.

[_Stepping back._] What d’you want a taxi for?

PENELOPE.

[_With a laugh._] I thought that would chill your ardour.

DICKIE.

You’re not going on that beastly motor trip now?

PENELOPE.

Why on earth not?

DICKIE.

[_Half injured, half surprised._] Pen!

PENELOPE.

[_Looking at the watch on her wrist._] Good gracious, I’m keeping them waiting.

DICKIE.

[_Taking both her hands._] Now don’t tease me. Go and take those horrid motor things off, and let’s have a comfortable little tea together. And tell Peyton you’re not at home.

PENELOPE.

I’m dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, but I’m afraid I can’t break an engagement.

DICKIE.

You’re not serious?

PENELOPE.

Abnormally.

DICKIE.

But, Pen dear, everything’s different now. Don’t you know that I love you?

PENELOPE.

It’s very nice of you to say so.

DICKIE.

Doesn’t it mean anything to you?

PENELOPE.

Not much.

DICKIE.

[_Beginning to be rather perplexed._] But, Pen dear, pull yourself together. I love you just as much as you love me.

PENELOPE.

[_With a little smile._] But what makes you think I love you?

DICKIE.

[_Aghast._] You--you don’t mean to say that you don’t care for me any more?

PENELOPE.

[_Judicially._] I--no longer feel that the world is coming to an end when you go out of the room.

DICKIE.

What!... Why don’t you say straight out that you can’t bear the sight of me?

PENELOPE.

Because it wouldn’t be quite true. I like you very well.

DICKIE.

Like me! I don’t want you to like me. I want you to love me.

PENELOPE.

I wish I could. It would save a lot of bother.

DICKIE.

I don’t understand. This is the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I always thought you adored me.

PENELOPE.

Why?

DICKIE.

Because I adore you.

PENELOPE.

Since when?

DICKIE.

Always, always, always.

PENELOPE.

Fancy.

DICKIE.

Oh, I know I made a fool of myself. I shall never cease to regret it. D’you think I was happy? D’you think I had a jolly time? Not much.... I suppose it’s that. You can’t forgive me?

PENELOPE.

Nonsense. Of course I forgive you. It doesn’t matter a bit.

DICKIE.

[_With a gesture of desperation._] The whole thing’s Greek to me. I loved you always, Pen. I never ceased for a moment to love you.

PENELOPE.

My dear, you need not protest so much. It doesn’t very much interest me either way.

DICKIE.

What a fool I was! I ought to have known that if you took it so calmly it could only be because you didn’t care. If a woman doesn’t make scenes it can only mean that she doesn’t love you.... You used to love me?

PENELOPE.

Yes.

DICKIE.

How can you be so fickle? I never thought you’d treat me like this.

[PENELOPE _looks about as if she’d lost something_.

DICKIE.

What are you looking for?

PENELOPE.

I fancied you’d lost your sense of humour. I was just seeing if I could find it.

DICKIE.

How can I have a sense of humour when I’m suffering?

PENELOPE.

[_Starting at the word._] Suffering?

DICKIE.

The tortures of the damned. I want you. I want your love.

[_He does not see_ PENELOPE’S _face. An expression of remorse comes into it at the pain she is causing him. She outlines a gesture towards him, but quickly restrains herself._

PENELOPE.

[_With a mocking laugh._] Poor darling.

DICKIE.

[_Furiously._] Don’t laugh at me.

PENELOPE.

I wasn’t. I was quite sorry for you.

DICKIE.

D’you think I want your pity?

PENELOPE.

I’m very unfortunate. I seem quite unable to please you. I think it’s just as well that I’m going away for a week.

DICKIE.

[_Starting up._] No, you’re not going away.

PENELOPE.

[_Raising her eyebrows._] What makes you think that?

DICKIE.

Because I forbid you to.

PENELOPE.

[_Smiling._] And are you under the delusion that at your command I shall fall flat on my face?

DICKIE.

I’m the master of this house, and I mean to make myself respected.

PENELOPE.

My dear, since you pay the rent and the taxes it’s quite right that you should rule this house with a rod of iron if you wish it. Personally, at the moment I only want to get out of it.

DICKIE.

You’re not going out of it.

PENELOPE.

Do you propose to keep me here against my will?

DICKIE.

Certainly, if needful.

PENELOPE.

H’m.

[_She gets up and goes to the door. He intercepts her, locks the door, and puts the key in his pocket._

PENELOPE.

Brute force.

DICKIE.

I think it’s about time I showed you I’m not going to be made a perfect fool of.

[PENELOPE _shrugs her shoulders and sits down. Suddenly she chuckles._

DICKIE.

I don’t see anything to laugh at.

PENELOPE.

I do. It’s so mediæval. And are you going to feed me on bread and water?

DICKIE.

[_Angrily._] Ugh. [_He looks at her._] Now, look here, Pen, be reasonable about it. Why the deuce d’you want to go for this stupid trip?

PENELOPE.

I refuse to discuss the matter till you’ve opened the door.

DICKIE.

It’s not the time of year for a motor trip. [_Pause._ PENELOPE _looks straight in front of her, taking no notice of what he says_.] It’ll rain cats and dogs, and you’ll catch a beastly cold. You’ll probably get pneumonia. [_Pause._] I’m feeling awfully run down, and I shouldn’t wonder if I were sickening for something myself. [PENELOPE _smothers a giggle and continues to stare into vacancy_. DICKIE _breaks out passionately_.] But don’t you see that if I’m preventing you from going, it’s because I can’t bear to let you out of my sight? I want you. I want you always by me. I want you to love me.... Oh, if you only knew how much I love you, you wouldn’t be so heartless.

PENELOPE.

[_Turning to him and speaking quite calmly._] But surely, if you cared for me, you wouldn’t try to deprive me of a little enjoyment. You’d be willing to sacrifice yourself sometimes. You’d have a certain regard for my wishes. You wouldn’t put every absurd obstacle in the way when the chance offers for me to have some amusement.

[DICKIE _looks at her for a moment then turns away and walks up and down, with downcast head. He takes the key out of his pocket and silently puts it on the table beside her._

PENELOPE.

What does that mean?

DICKIE.

[_In a broken voice._] You’re quite right. I’ve simply been beastly selfish. I was only thinking of myself. I dare say I bore you. Perhaps you’ll like me better when you’ve been away for a few days.

[PENELOPE _is so moved that she can hardly keep up her acting any longer. She struggles with herself, and in a moment masters the desire to throw herself in his arms._

PENELOPE.

Since you locked the door, perhaps you’ll be good enough to unlock it.

[_Without a word he takes the key and goes to the door. He unlocks it._

PENELOPE.

Am I to understand that you offer no objection to my trip?

DICKIE.

If it’ll give you pleasure to go, I shall be pleased to think you’re happy. I only want you to be happy.

PENELOPE.

Would you rather I stayed?

DICKIE.

No.

[PENELOPE _gives a slight start. This is not at all what she wants._

PENELOPE.

Oh!

DICKIE.

I don’t know what I shall do without you. I feel as if I were only now getting to know you. It’s as though--oh, I don’t know how to express it.

PENELOPE.

But you’ve just said you would rather I went.

DICKIE.

I don’t want to think of myself any more. I want to think only of you. It makes me so happy to think of you, Pen. I want to sacrifice myself.

PENELOPE.

[_Relieved._] Will you go to my room and see if my bag has been taken down?

[_He goes out for a moment. She remains with an ecstatic look on her face. He comes back._

DICKIE.

Yes. Peyton’s taken it.

PENELOPE.

Then--[_she gives him a look from beneath her eye-lashes_]--ring and tell her to bring it up again.

DICKIE.

[_Hardly able to believe his good fortune._] Pen!

PENELOPE.

Are you pleased?

DICKIE.

Oh, you’re much too good to me. I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Oh, Pen, if you only knew how much I adore you!

[_He falls on his knees and passionately kisses her hands. She can hardly restrain herself from lifting him up and flinging her arms round his neck._

DICKIE.

Is there any chance for me at all? D’you think you’ll ever love me as you used to?

PENELOPE.

How can I tell?

DICKIE.

Oh, why can’t we go back to the beginning? D’you remember how we loved one another then? You used to come down with me every day when I went out, and when I came back you always ran down to kiss me. And d’you remember how you used to sit on my chair in the morning while I smoked my pipe and we read the paper together?

PENELOPE.

[_Concealing a smile._] How you must have hated it!

DICKIE.

Hate it? I’ve never been so happy in my life.

PENELOPE.

At all events I hope we shall always continue to be good friends.

DICKIE.

[_Starting up._] Friends! What’s the good of offering me your friendship when I’m starving for your love? How can you make me so unhappy?

PENELOPE.

[_Smiling indulgently._] But I’m not going to make you unhappy. I hope I shall always be very pleasant and agreeable.

DICKIE.

What d’you think I care for that? Pen, promise that you’ll try to love me?

PENELOPE.

[_With a smile._] Yes, I’ll try if you like.

DICKIE.

I’ll make you love me. I’ll never rest till I’m sure of your love.

PENELOPE.

And when you are sure of it I suppose you won’t care twopence for me any more?

DICKIE.

Try me! Try me!

[_He kisses her hands again. He does not see her face. She smiles and shakes her head._

DICKIE.

I never knew that you were so adorable. It fills me with rapture merely to kiss your hands.

[PENELOPE _gives a little laugh and releases herself_.

PENELOPE.

Now I must just go to the Hendersons and tell them I can’t come motoring.

DICKIE.

Can’t you telephone? I don’t want to let you out of my sight.

PENELOPE.

They’re not on the telephone. It’ll be more convenient for me to go.

DICKIE.

Very well. If you must, I suppose you must.

[_She smiles and goes to the door. When she reaches it he stops her._

DICKIE.

Oh, Pen!

PENELOPE.

Yes.

DICKIE.

At what time will you be back?

[_Recognising the phrase, she gives a gesture of amusement, quickly kisses her hand to him, and slips out of the door._

THE END.

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