Chapter 2

CHORUS 'Tis not I who want to dance; 'tis my legs that bound with delight.

TRYGAEUS Enough, an you love me, cease your gambols.

CHORUS There! 'Tis over.

TRYGAEUS You say so, and nevertheless you go on.

CHORUS Yet one more figure and 'tis done.

TRYGAEUS Well, just this one; then you must dance no more.

CHORUS No, no more dancing, if we can help you.

TRYGAEUS But look, you are not stopping even now.

CHORUS By Zeus, I am only throwing up my right leg, that's all.

TRYGAEUS Come, I grant you that, but pray, annoy me no further.

CHORUS Ah! the left leg too will have its fling; well, 'tis but its right. I am so happy, so delighted at not having to carry my buckler any more. I sing and I laugh more than if I had cast my old age, as a serpent does its skin.

TRYGAEUS No, 'tis not time for joy yet, for you are not sure of success. But when you have got the goddess, then rejoice, shout and laugh; thenceforward you will be able to sail or stay at home, to make love or sleep, to attend festivals and processions, to play at cottabos,(1) live like true Sybarites and to shout, Io, io!

f(1) One of the most favourite games with the Greeks. A stick was set upright in the ground and to this the beam of a balance was attached by its centre. Two vessels were hung from the extremities of the beam so as to balance; beneath these two other and larger dishes were placed and filled with water, and in the middle of each a brazen figure, called Manes, was stood. The game consisted in throwing drops of wine from an agreed distance into one or the other vessel, so that, dragged downwards by the weight of the liquor, it bumped against Manes.

CHORUS Ah! God grant we may see the blessed day. I have suffered so much; have so oft slept with Phormio(1) on hard beds. You will no longer find me an acid, angry, hard judge as heretofore, but will find me turned indulgent and grown younger by twenty years through happiness. We have been killing ourselves long enough, tiring ourselves out with going to the Lyceum(2) and returning laden with spear and buckler.--But what can we do to please you? Come, speak; for 'tis a good Fate that has named you our leader.

f(1) A general of austere habits; he disposed of all his property to pay the cost of a naval expedition, in which he beat the fleet of the foe off the promontory of Rhium in 429 B.C.

f(2) The Lyceum was a portico ornamented with paintings and surrounded with gardens, in which military exercises took place.

TRYGAEUS How shall we set about removing these stones?

HERMES Rash reprobate, what do you propose doing?

TRYGAEUS Nothing bad, as Cillicon said.(1)

f(1) A citizen of Miletus, who betrayed his country to the people of Pirene. When asked what he purposed, he replied, "Nothing bad," which expression had therefore passed into a proverb.

HERMES You are undone, you wretch.

TRYGAEUS Yes, if the lot had to decide my life, for Hermes would know how to turn the chance.(1)

f(1) Hermes was the god of chance.

HERMES You are lost, you are dead.

TRYGAEUS On what day?

HERMES This instant.

TRYGAEUS But I have not provided myself with flour and cheese yet(1) to start for death.

f(1) As the soldiers had to do when starting on an expedition.

HERMES You ARE kneaded and ground already, I tell you.(1)

f(1) That is, you are predicated.

TRYGAEUS Hah! I have not yet tasted that gentle pleasure.

HERMES Don't you know that Zeus has decreed death for him who is surprised exhuming Peace?

TRYGAEUS What! must I really and truly die?

HERMES You must.

TRYGAEUS Well then, lend me three drachmae to buy a young pig; I wish to have myself initiated before I die.(1)

f(1) The initiated were thought to enjoy greater happiness after death.

HERMES Oh! Zeus, the Thunderer!(1)

f(1) He summons Zeus to reveal Trygaeus' conspiracy.

TRYGAEUS I adjure you in the name of the gods, master, don't denounce us!

HERMES I may not, I cannot keep silent.

TRYGAEUS In the name of the meats which I brought you so good-naturedly.

HERMES Why, wretched man, Zeus will annihilate me, if I do not shout out at the top of my voice, to inform him what you are plotting.

TRYGAEUS Oh, no! don't shout, I beg you, dear little Hermes.... And what are you doing, comrades? You stand there as though you were stocks and stones. Wretched men, speak, entreat him at once; otherwise he will be shouting.

CHORUS Oh! mighty Hermes! don't do it; no, don't do it! If ever you have eaten some young pig, sacrificed by us on your altars, with pleasure, may this offering not be without value in your sight to-day.

TRYGAEUS Do you not hear them wheedling you, mighty god?

CHORUS Be not pitiless toward our prayers; permit us to deliver the goddess. Oh! the most human, the most generous of the gods, be favourable toward us, if it be true that you detest the haughty crests and proud brows of Pisander;(1) we shall never cease, oh master, offering you sacred victims and solemn prayers.

f(1) An Athenian captain who later had the recall of Alcibiades decreed by the Athenian people; in 'The Birds' Aristophanes represents him as a cowardly beggar. He was the reactionary leader who established the Oligarchical Government of the Four Hundred, 411 B.C., after the failure of the Syracusan expedition.

TRYGAEUS Have mercy, mercy, let yourself be touched by their words; never was your worship so dear to them as to-day.

HERMES I' truth, never have you been greater thieves.(1)

f(1) Among other attributes, Hermes was the god of thieves.

TRYGAEUS I will reveal a great, a terrible conspiracy against the gods to you.

HERMES Hah! speak and perchance I shall let myself be softened.

TRYGAEUS Know then, that the Moon and that infamous Sun are plotting against you, and want to deliver Greece into the hands of the Barbarians.

HERMES What for?

TRYGAEUS Because it is to you that we sacrifice, whereas the barbarians worship them; hence they would like to see you destroyed, that they alone might receive the offerings.

HERMES 'Tis then for this reason that these untrustworthy charioteers have for so long been defrauding us, one of them robbing us of daylight and the other nibbling away at the other's disk.(1)

f(1) Alluding to the eclipses of the sun and the moon.

TRYGAEUS Yes, certainly. So therefore, Hermes, my friend, help us with your whole heart to find and deliver the captive and we will celebrate the great Panathenaea(1) in your honour as well as all the festivals of the other gods; for Hermes shall be the Mysteries, the Dipolia, the Adonia; everywhere the towns, freed from their miseries, will sacrifice to Hermes the Liberator; you will be loaded with benefits of every kind, and to start with, I offer you this cup for libations as your first present.

f(1) The Panathenaea were dedicated to Athene, the Mysteries to Demeter, the Dipolia to Zeus, the Adonia to Aphrodite and Adonis. Trygaeus promises Hermes that he shall be worshipped in the place of the other gods.

HERMES Ah! how golden cups do influence me! Come, friends, get to work. To the pit quickly, pick in hand, and drag away the stones.

CHORUS We go, but you, cleverest of all the gods, supervise our labours; tell us, good workman as you are, what we must do; we shall obey your orders with alacrity.

TRYGAEUS Quick, reach me your cup, and let us preface our work by addressing prayers to the gods.

HERMES Oh! sacred, sacred libations! Keep silence, oh! ye people! keep silence!

TRYGAEUS Let us offer our libations and our prayers, so that this day may begin an era of unalloyed happiness for Greece and that he who has bravely pulled at the rope with us may never resume his buckler.

CHORUS Aye, may we pass our lives in peace, caressing our mistresses and poking the fire.

TRYGAEUS May he who would prefer the war, oh Dionysus, be ever drawing barbed arrows out of his elbows.

HERMES If there be a citizen, greedy for military rank and honours who refuses, oh, divine Peace! to restore you to daylight, may he behave as cowardly as Cleonymus on the battlefield.

TRYGAEUS If a lance-maker or a dealer in shields desires war for the sake of better trade, may he be taken by pirates and eat nothing but barley.

CHORUS If some ambitious man does not help us, because he wants to become a General, or if a slave is plotting to pass over to the enemy, let his limbs be broken on the wheel, may he be beaten to death with rods! As for us, may Fortune favour us! Io! Paean, Io!

TRYGAEUS Don't say Paean,(1) but simply, Io.

f(1) The pun here cannot be kept. The word (in Greek), Paean, resembles (that for) to strike; hence the word, as recalling the blows and wounds of the war, seems of ill omen to Trygaeus.

HERMES Very well, then! Io! Io! I'll simply say, Io!

TRYGAEUS To Hermes, the Graces, Hora, Aphrodite, Eros!

CHORUS But not to Ares?

TRYGAEUS No.

CHORUS Nor doubtless to Enyalius?

TRYGAEUS No.

CHORUS Come, all strain at the ropes to tear away the stones. Pull!

HERMES Heave away, heave, heave, oh!

CHORUS Come, pull harder, harder.

HERMES Heave away, heave, heave, oh!

CHORUS Still harder, harder still.

HERMES Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave, heave, oh!

TRYGAEUS Come, come, there is no working together. Come! all pull at the same instant! you Boeotians are only pretending. Beware!

HERMES Come, heave away, heave!

CHORUS Hi! you two pull as well.

TRYGAEUS Why, I am pulling, I am hanging on to the rope and straining till I am almost off my feet; I am working with all my might.

CHORUS Why does not the work advance then?

TRYGAEUS Lamachus, this is too bad! You are in the way, sitting there. We have no use for your Medusa's head, friend.(1)

f(1) The device on his shield was a Gorgon's head. (See 'The Acharnians.')

HERMES But hold, the Argives have not pulled the least bit; they have done nothing but laugh at us for our pains while they were getting gain with both hands.(1)

f(1) Both Sparta and Athens had sought the alliance of the Argives; they had kept themselves strictly neutral and had received pay from both sides. But, the year after the production of 'The Wasps,' they openly joined Athens, had attacked Epidaurus and got cut to pieces by the Spartans.

TRYGAEUS Ah! my dear sir, the Laconians at all events pull with vigour.

CHORUS But look! only those among them who generally hold the plough-tail show any zeal,(1) while the armourers impede them in their efforts.

f(1) These are the Spartan prisoners from Sphacteria, who were lying in goal at Athens. They were chained fast to large beams of wood.

HERMES And the Megarians too are doing nothing, yet look how they are pulling and showing their teeth like famished curs; The poor wretches are dying of hunger!(1)

f(1) 'Twas want of force, not want of will. They had suffered more than any other people from the war. (See 'The Acharnians.')

TRYGAEUS This won't do, friends. Come! all together! Everyone to the work and with a good heart for the business.

HERMES Heave away, heave!

TRYGAEUS Harder!

HERMES Heave away, heave!

TRYGAEUS Come on then, by heaven.

HERMES Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave!

CHORUS This will never do.

TRYGAEUS Is it not a shame? some pull one way and others another. You, Argives there, beware of a thrashing!

HERMES Come, put your strength into it.

TRYGAEUS Heave away, heave!

CHORUS There are many ill-disposed folk among us.

TRYGAEUS Do you at least, who long for peace, pull heartily.

CHORUS But there are some who prevent us.

HERMES Off to the Devil with you, Megarians! The goddess hates you. She recollects that you were the first to rub her the wrong way. Athenians, you are not well placed for pulling. There you are too busy with law-suits; if you really want to free the goddess, get down a little towards the sea.(1)

f(1) Meaning, look chiefly to your fleet. This was the counsel that Themistocles frequently gave the Athenians.

CHORUS Come, friends, none but husbandmen on the rope.

HERMES Ah! that will do ever so much better.

CHORUS He says the thing is going well. Come, all of you, together and with a will.

TRYGAEUS 'Tis the husbandmen who are doing all the work.

CHORUS Come then, come, and all together! Hah! hah! at last there is some unanimity in the work. Don't let us give up, let us redouble our efforts. There! now we have it! Come then, all together! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! Heave away, heave! All together! (PEACE IS DRAWN OUT OF THE PIT.)

TRYGAEUS Oh! venerated goddess, who givest us our grapes, where am I to find the ten-thousand-gallon words(1) wherewith to greet thee? I have none such at home. Oh! hail to thee, Opora,(2) and thee, Theoria!(3) How beautiful is thy face! How sweet thy breath! What gentle fragrance comes from thy bosom, gentle as freedom from military duty, as the most dainty perfumes!

f(1) A metaphor referring to the abundant vintages that peace would assure.

f(2) The goddess of fruits.

f(3) Aristophanes personifies under this name the sacred ceremonies in general which peace would allow to be celebrated with due pomp. Opora and Theoria come on the stage in the wake of Peace, clothed and decked out as courtesans.

HERMES Is it then a smell like a soldier's knapsack?

TRYGAEUS Oh! hateful soldier! your hideous satchel makes me sick! it stinks like the belching of onions, whereas this lovable deity has the odour of sweet fruits, of festivals, of the Dionysia, of the harmony of flutes, of the comic poets, of the verses of Sophocles, of the phrases of Euripides...

HERMES That's a foul calumny, you wretch! She detests that framer of subtleties and quibbles.

TRYGAEUS ...of ivy, of straining-bags for wine, of bleating ewes, of provision-laden women hastening to the kitchen, of the tipsy servant wench, of the upturned wine-jar, and of a whole heap of other good things.

HERMES Then look how the reconciled towns chat pleasantly together, how they laugh; and yet they are all cruelly mishandled; their wounds are bleeding still.

TRYGAEUS But let us also scan the mien of the spectators; we shall thus find out the trade of each.

HERMES Ah! good gods! Look at that poor crest-maker, tearing at his hair,(1) and at that pike-maker, who has just broken wind in yon sword-cutler's face.

f(1) Aristophanes has already shown us the husbandmen and workers in peaceful trades pulling at the rope the extricate Peace, while the armourers hindered them by pulling the other way.

TRYGAEUS And do you see with what pleasure this sickle-maker is making long noses at the spear-maker?

HERMES Now ask the husbandmen to be off.

TRYGAEUS Listen, good folk! Let the husbandmen take their farming tools and return to their fields as quick as possible, but without either sword, spear or javelin. All is as quiet as if Peace had been reigning for a century. Come, let everyone go till the earth, singing the Paean.

CHORUS Oh, thou, whom men of standing desired and who art good to husbandmen, I have gazed upon thee with delight; and now I go to greet my vines, to caress after so long an absence the fig trees I planted in my youth.

TRYGAEUS Friends, let us first adore the goddess, who has delivered us from crests and Gorgons;(1) then let us hurry to our farms, having first bought a nice little piece of salt fish to eat in the fields.

f(1) An allusion to Lamachus' shield.

HERMES By Posidon! what a fine crew they make and dense as the crust of a cake; they are as nimble as guests on their way to a feast.

TRYGAEUS See, how their iron spades glitter and how beautifully their three-pronged mattocks glisten in the sun! How regularly they align the plants! I also burn myself to go into the country and to turn over the earth I have so long neglected.--Friends, do you remember the happy life that Peace afforded us formerly; can you recall the splendid baskets of figs, both fresh and dried, the myrtles, the sweet wine, the violets blooming near the spring, and the olives, for which we have wept so much? Worship, adore the goddess for restoring you so many blessings.

CHORUS Hail! hail! thou beloved divinity! thy return overwhelms us with joy. When far from thee, my ardent wish to see my fields again made me pine with regret. From thee came all blessings. Oh! much desired Peace! thou art the sole support of those who spend their lives tilling the earth. Under thy rule we had a thousand delicious enjoyments at our beck; thou wert the husbandman's wheaten cake and his safeguard. So that our vineyards, our young fig-tree woods and all our plantations hail thee with delight and smile at thy coming. But where was she then, I wonder, all the long time she spent away from us? Hermes, thou benevolent god, tell us!

HERMES Wise husbandmen, hearken to my words, if you want to know why she was lost to you. The start of our misfortunes was the exile of Phidias;(1) Pericles feared he might share his ill-luck, he mistrusted your peevish nature and, to prevent all danger to himself, he threw out that little spark, the Megarian decree,(2) set the city aflame, and blew up the conflagration with a hurricane of war, so that the smoke drew tears from all Greeks both here and over there. At the very outset of this fire our vines were a-crackle, our casks knocked together;(3) it was beyond the power of any man to stop the disaster, and Peace disappeared.

f(1) Having been commissioned to execute a statue of Athene, Phidias was accused of having stolen part of the gold given him out of the public treasury for its decoration. Rewarded for his work by calumny and banishment, he resolved to make a finer statue than his Athene, and executed one for the temple of Elis, that of the Olympian Zeus, which was considered one of the wonders of the world.

f(2) He had issued a decree, which forbade the admission of any Megarian on Attic soil, and also all trade with that people. The Megarians, who obtained all their provisions from Athens, were thus almost reduced to starvation.

f(3) That is, the vineyards were ravaged from the very outset of the war, and this increased the animosity.

TRYGAEUS That, by Apollo! is what no one ever told me; I could not think what connection there could be between Phidias and Peace.

CHORUS Nor I; I know it now. This accounts for her beauty, if she is related to him. There are so many things that escape us.

HERMES Then, when the towns subject to you saw that you were angered one against the other and were showing each other your teeth like dogs, they hatched a thousand plots to pay you no more dues and gained over the chief citizens of Sparta at the price of gold. They, being as shamelessly greedy as they were faithless in diplomacy, chased off Peace with ignominy to let loose War. Though this was profitable to them, 'twas the ruin of the husbandmen, who were innocent of all blame; for, in revenge, your galleys went out to devour their figs.

TRYGAEUS And 'twas with justice too; did they not break down my black fig tree, which I had planted and dunged with my own hands?

CHORUS Yes, by Zeus! yes, 'twas well done; the wretches broke a chest for me with stones, which held six medimni of corn.

HERMES Then the rural labourers flocked into the city(1) and let themselves be bought over like the others. Not having even a grape-stone to munch and longing after their figs, they looked towards the orators.(2) These well knew that the poor were driven to extremity and lacked even bread; but they nevertheless drove away the Goddess, each time she reappeared in answer to the wish of the country, with their loud shrieks that were as sharp as pitchforks; furthermore, they attacked the well-filled purses of the richest among our allies on the pretence that they belonged to Brasidas' party.(3) And then you would tear the poor accused wretch to pieces with your teeth; for the city, all pale with hunger and cowed with terror, gladly snapped up any calumny that was thrown it to devour. So the strangers, seeing what terrible blows the informers dealt, sealed their lips with gold. They grew rich, while you, alas! you could only see that Greece was going to ruin. 'Twas the tanner who was the author of all this woe.(4)

f(1) Driven in from the country parts by the Lacedaemonian invaders.

f(2) The demagogues, who distributed the slender dole given to the poor, and by that means exercised undue power over them.

f(3) Meaning, the side of the Spartans.

f(4) Cleon.

TRYGAEUS Enough said, Hermes, leave that man in Hades, whither he has gone; he no longer belongs to us, but rather to yourself.(1) That he was a cheat, a braggart, a calumniator when alive, why, nothing could be truer; but anything you might say now would be an insult to one of your own folk. Oh! venerated Goddess! why art thou silent?

f(1) It was Hermes who conducted the souls of the dead down to the lower regions.

HERMES And how could she speak to the spectators? She is too angry at all that they have made her suffer.

TRYGAEUS At least let her speak a little to you, Hermes.

HERMES Tell me, my dear, what are your feelings with regard to them? Come, you relentless foe of all bucklers, speak; I am listening to you. (PEACE WHISPERS INTO HERMES' EAR.) Is that your grievance against them? Yes, yes, I understand. Hearken, you folk, this is her complaint. She says, that after the affair of Pylos(1) she came to you unbidden to bring you a basket full of truces and that you thrice repulsed her by your votes in the assembly.

f(1) The Spartans had thrice offered to make peace after the Pylos disaster.

TRYGAEUS Yes, we did wrong, but forgive us, for our mind was then entirely absorbed in leather.(1)

f(1) i.e. dominated by Cleon.

HERMES Listen again to what she has just asked me. Who was her greatest foe here? and furthermore, had she a friend who exerted himself to put an end to the fighting?

TRYGAEUS Her most devoted friend was Cleonymus; it is undisputed.

HERMES How then did Cleonymus behave in fights?

TRYGAEUS Oh! the bravest of warriors! Only he was not born of the father he claims; he showed it quick enough in the army by throwing away his weapons.(1)

f(1) There is a pun here that cannot be rendered between (the Greek for) 'one who throws away his weapons' and 'a supposititious child.'

HERMES There is yet another question she has just put to me. Who rules now in the rostrum?

TRYGAEUS 'Tis Hyperbolus, who now holds empire on the Pnyx. (TO PEACE) What now? you turn away your head!

HERMES She is vexed, that the people should give themselves a wretch of that kind for their chief.

TRYGAEUS Oh! we shall not employ him again; but the people, seeing themselves without a leader, took him haphazard, just as a man, who is naked, springs upon the first cloak he sees.

HERMES She asks, what will be the result of such a choice of the city?

TRYGAEUS We shall be more far-seeing in consequence.

HERMES And why?

TRYGAEUS Because he is a lamp-maker. Formerly we only directed our business by groping in the dark; now we shall only deliberate by lamplight.

HERMES Oh! oh! what questions she does order me to put to you!

TRYGAEUS What are they?

HERMES She wants to have news of a whole heap of old-fashioned things she left here. First of all, how is Sophocles?

TRYGAEUS Very well, but something very strange has happened to him.

HERMES What then?

TRYGAEUS He has turned from Sophocles into Simonides.(1)

f(1) Simonides was very avaricious, and sold his pen to the highest bidder. It seems that Sophocles had also started writing for gain.

HERMES Into Simonides? How so?

TRYGAEUS Because, though old and broken-down as he is, he would put to sea on a hurdle to gain an obolus.(1)

f(1) i.e. he would recoil from no risk to turn an honest penny.