SCENE X.—TURNSTILE’S _parlour_, 11½ A. M. _Breakfast on the table;

pamphlets and newspapers. In the corners of the room, books and philosophical instruments, dusty and thrown together; heaps of Parliamentary Reports lying above them._ TURNSTILE _alone, musing, and looking over some journals_.

_Turnstile._ This headache! Impossible to sleep when one goes to bed by daylight. Experiments by Arago! Ah! a paper by Cauchy, on my own subject. But here is this cursed committee in Smithfield to be attended; and it is already past eleven. (_Rising_).

[_Knock at the hall door._]

_Enter Servant._

_Servant._ Mr. Tripes, sir.

_Turnstile._ Show him in. He comes, no doubt, to say that my election is arranged. A good, fat-headed, honest fellow.

_Enter_ TRIPES.

Well Mr. Tripes, I’m glad to see you. Pray take a chair.

_Tripes._ We hoped to have seen you at the meeting yesterday, sir. Capital speech from Mr. Smooth. You know, of course, that Mr. Highway is a candidate; and Mr. MacLeech is talked of;—very sorry, indeed, you weren’t there.

_Turnstile._ A transit of Venus, Mr. Tripes, is a thing that does not happen every day. Besides, my friend, Stellini {284} from Palermo, is here; and I had promised to go with him to Greenwich.

_Tripes._ Almost a pity, sir, to call off your attention from such objects. But in the City we are men of business, you know,—plain, every-day people.

_Turnstile._ It was unlucky; but I could not help it. The committee, I hope, is by this time at work?

_Tripes._ It was just that, I called about. I wished to tell you myself how very sorry I am that I cannot be your chairman. But—my large family—press of business,—in short,—you must excuse me;—and, if I should be upon Mr. Smooth’s committee, I don’t well see how I can attend to both.

_Turnstile._ Smooth!—but he and I go together, you know,—at least, I understood it so.

_Tripes._ I’m glad to hear it; I feared there might be some mistake. And, if Mr. MacLeech comes forward,—being a fellow-townsman of Mr. Smooth, and a good deal in the Glasgow interest;—a commercial man too, Mr. Turnstile;—a _practical_ man—Mr. Turnstile;—I am not quite sure that you can count upon Mr. Smooth’s assistance;—and Government, you know, is strong.

_Turnstile._ Assistance, Mr. Tripes,—from Smooth!—why I came in on my own ground;—on the _Independent_ interest.—Assistance from Smooth!—Besides,—Smooth knows very well that _our_ second votes secured him.

_Tripes._ Very true, sir; but these Independent people are hard to deal with; and Mr. Highway, I assure you, hit very hard in his speech at the meeting yesterday. He talked of amateur politicians,—attention to the business of the people,—dinners with the opposite party. In short, I fear, they will say,—like the others,—that what they want is something {285} of “a _practical man_” Mr. Turnstile.—I’m sorry that I must be going.—Sir, your servant.

_Turnstile._ (_Rising and ringing._) [_Enter servant._] Open the door for Mr. Tripes. [_Exit_ TRIPES.] D——d, double-faced, selfish blockhead!