Part 1
Transcriber’s Note
This document uses the “long s” character ſ extensively, albeit at times inconsistently, so is best viewed with a font containing that symbol.
PARADOXES _and_ PROBLEMES
_by_ Iohn Donne
_with two Characters and an Essay of_ VALOUR
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_Now for the first time reprinted from the editions of 1633 and 1652 with one additional =Probleme=_
SOHO _THE NONESUCH PRESS 30 Gerrard Street_ 1923
_This edition is limited to 645 copies, printed and made in England for the Nonesuch Press in the 17th century Fell types by Frederick Hall, printer to the University of Oxford. The type has been distributed. This is number 9_
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The CONTENTS
❧ PARADOXES
1. _A Defence of Womens Inconſtancy:_ P. 1. 2. _That Women ought to paint:_ P. 6. 3. _That by Diſcord things increase:_ P. 9. 4. _That good is more common then evill:_ P. 12. 5. _That all things kill themſelves:_ P. 15. 6. _That it is poſſible to find ſome vertue in Some Women:_ P. 17. 7. _That Old men are more fantaſtike then Young:_ P. 19. 8. _That Nature is our worſt Guide:_ P. 21. 9. _That only Cowards dare dye:_ P. 24. 10. _That a Wiſe Man is knowne by much laughing:_ P. 26. 11. _That the gifts of the Body are better then thoſe of the Minde:_ P. 30. 12. _That Virginity is a Vertue:_ P. 34.
❧ PROBLEMES
1. _Why have Bastards beſt Fortune?_ P. 40. 2. _Why Puritanes make long Sermons?_ P. 42. 3. _Why did the Divel reſerve Jeſuites till theſe latter dayes:_ P. 43. 4. _Why is there more variety of Green then of other Colours?_ P. 44. 5. _Why doe young Lay-men ſo much ſtudy Divinity:_ P. 45. 6. _Why hath the common Opinion afforded Women Soules?_ P. 47. 7. _Why are the Faireſt, Falſeſt?_ P. 49. 8. _Why Venus-ſtar only doth caſt a ſhadow?_ P. 51. 9. _Why is Venus-ſtar multinominous, called both =Heſperus= and =Veſper=:_ P. 54. 10. _Why are New Officers leaſt oppreſſing?_ P. 56. 11. _Why does the Poxe ſo much affect to undermine the Noſe?_ P. 58. 12. _Why die none for Love now?_ P. 60. 13. _Why do Women delight much in Feathers?_ P. 61. 14. _Why doth not Gold ſoyl the fingers?_ P. 62. 15. _Why do great men of all dependents, chuſe to preſerve their little Pimps?_ P. 63. 16. _Why are Courtiers ſooner Atheiſts then men of other conditions?_ P. 64. 17. _Why are ſtateſmen moſt incredulous?_ P. 66. 18. _Why was Sir Walter Raleigh thought the fitteſt Man, to write the Hiſtorie of theſe Times?_ P. 68.
❧ CHARACTERS
1. _The Character of a =Scot= at the first ſight:_ P. 69. 2. _The true Character of a =Dunce=:_ P. 71.
❧ AN ESSAY OF VALOUR: P. 75.
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_BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE_
Donne’s Paradoxes and Problemes are clever and entertaining trifles, which were probably written before 1600, during the more wanton period of their author’s life. Owing to their scurrilous nature they could not be published during his lifetime, but shortly after his death the greater part of them were licensed to be printed, the _Imprimatur_ printed at the end both of the eleven Paradoxes and of the ten Problemes being signed by Sir Henry Herbert and dated October 25, 1632. The volume was published under the title of _Juvenilia_ in 1633, but already on November 14, 1632, an order of inquiry had been delivered at the King’s command by the Bishop of London, calling upon Sir Henry Herbert to explain before the Board of the Star Chamber his reasons ‘why hee warrented the booke of D. Duns paradoxes to be printed’. Perhaps Herbert’s explanations were regarded as satisfactory, but, however this may have been, the King was not successful in suppressing the book. The volume is a thin quarto containing only thirty-two leaves, and was printed by Elizabeth Purslowe for Henry Seyle, to be sold at the sign of the Tyger’s Head in St. Paul’s Church-yard. The printer seems to have been somewhat careless in imposing the licences, for, although most copies contain the two, copies occur from which one or both have been omitted. It is not known through what channels the publisher obtained possession of the text, but it is probable that the publication was quite unauthorized, and took place even without the knowledge of the younger Donne, who, when he reprinted the _Juvenilia_ in 1652, made no reference to any previous issue.
The _Juvenilia_ were at once in considerable demand, and seem to have been bought by many of the purchasers of the _Poems_, which were also first published in quarto in 1633. This is evident from the fact that the two books are so often found together in contemporary bindings, the lesser volume usually being relegated to the end. The first edition of the _Juvenilia_ was thus soon exhausted and a second edition was published in the same year. So ineffectual did the Star Chamber inquiry prove to have been that in this edition the publisher not only omitted the _Imprimaturs_ altogether and so abandoned all pretence of having any official sanction for the publication, but even added to the first Probleme, ‘Why have Bastards best Fortune?’, which was particularly offensive to the Court, twenty-three lines which had not appeared in the first edition. This edition, as before a quarto and with the same imprint, but containing only twenty-four leaves, is considerably rarer than its predecessor. It is unlikely, however, that this fact is to be attributed to the King’s having had any greater success than before in suppressing it. More probably the demand for it was less, so that part of the edition remained unsold and was subsequently destroyed.
In 1652 the younger Donne, in the course of his exploitation of his father’s writings, prepared an authorized edition of the _Juvenilia_, which was printed by Thomas Newcomb for Humphrey Moseley. The number of the Paradoxes was now increased to twelve and of the Problemes to seventeen, the offensive passages in the first Probleme being allowed to remain. To these were added two ‘Characters’, ‘An Essay of Valour’, ‘A Sheaf of Miscellany Epigrams’, a reprint of _Ignatius his Conclave_, and, finally, the _Essays in Divinity_. The Epigrams purport to have been written by the elder Donne in Latin and to have been translated into English by Jasper Mayne, D.D. They may have been printed by the younger Donne in good faith, as it seems to be certain that his father’s _Epigrammata mea Latina_ once existed; but the epigrams attributed to him in this volume are, as Mr. Gosse has shown (_Life and Letters of Donne, i. 16_), certainly spurious, and may well have been composed, as well as translated, by Mayne, who was an unprincipled, though witty, divine. The _Essays in Divinity_ had been printed in 1651 for a different publisher, but they are very rarely found as a separate volume in a contemporary binding, for the younger Donne, as he made clear in his preface, sought to temper the secularity of the _Juvenilia_ by issuing them in company with the _Essays in Divinity_, and in this way to invest the volume with an altogether fictitious respectability.
Even in 1652 the Paradoxes and Problemes were not printed entire. Another Probleme concerning Sir Walter Raleigh has been preserved in the Bodleian Library (Tanner MSS. 299, f. 32), the copier stating that it ‘was so bitter that his son, Jack Donne, LL.D., thought fit not to print it with the rest’. Yet another has recently been discovered in a manuscript containing Donne’s poems.
The _Juvenilia_ have not been reprinted since 1652. In the present edition the text follows that of the second edition of 1633, amplified from the third edition of 1652 and with the additional Probleme from the Bodleian manuscript, already printed by Mr. Edmund Gosse in his _Life and Letters of Donne, 1899, ii. 52_. The spurious epigrams have not been included.
GEOFFREY KEYNES
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PARADOXES
1.
_A Defence of Womens Inconſtancy._
That Women are _Inconſtant_, I with any man confeſſe, but that _Inconſtancy_ is a bad quality, I againſt any man will maintaine: For every thing as it is one better than another, ſo is it fuller of _change_; The _Heavens_ themſelves continually turne, the _Starres_ move, the _Moone_ changeth; _Fire_ whirleth, _Ayre_ flyeth, _Water_ ebbs and flowes, the face of the _Earth_ altereth her lookes, _time_ ſtayes not; the Colour that is moſt light, will take moſt dyes: ſo in Men, they that have the moſt reaſon are the moſt alterable in their deſignes, and the darkeſt or moſt ignorant, do ſeldomeſt change; therefore Women changing more than Men, have alſo more _Reaſon_. They cannot be immutable like ſtockes, like ſtones, like the Earths dull Center; Gold that lyeth ſtill, ruſteth; Water, corrupteth; Aire that moveth not, poyſoneth; then why ſhould that which is the perfection of other things, be imputed to Women as greateſt imperfection? Becauſe thereby they deceive men. Are not your wits pleaſed with thoſe jeſts, which coozen your expectation? You can call it Pleaſure to be beguil’d in troubles, and in the moſt excellent toy in the world, you call it Treachery: I would you had your _Miſtreſſes_ ſo conſtant, that they would never change, no not ſo much as their _ſmocks_, then ſhould you ſee what ſluttiſh vertue, _Conſtancy_ were. _Inconſtancy_ is a moſt commendable and cleanely quality, and Women in this quality are farre more abſolute than the Heavens, than the Starres, Moone, or any thing beneath it; for long obſervation hath pickt certainety out of their mutability. The Learned are ſo well acquainted with the Starres, Signes and Planets, that they make them but Characters, to reade the meaning of the Heaven in his owne forehead. Every ſimple Fellow can beſpeake the change of the _Moone_ a great while beforehand: but I would faine have the learnedſt man ſo skilfull, as to tell when the ſimpleſt Woman meaneth to varie. Learning affords no rules to know, much leſſe knowledge to rule the minde of a Woman: For as _Philoſophy_ teacheth us, that _Light things doe alwayes tend upwards_, and _heavy things decline downeward_; Experience teacheth us otherwiſe, that the diſpoſition of a _Light_ Woman, is to fall downe, the nature of Women being contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like _Flies_, which feed among us at our Table, or _Fleas_ ſucking our very blood, who leave not our moſt retired places free from their familiarity, yet for all their fellowſhip will they never bee tamed nor commanded by us. Women are like the _Sunne_, which is violently carryed one way, yet hath a proper courſe contrary: ſo though they, by the maſtery of ſome over-ruling churliſh Husbands, are forced to his Byas, yet have they a motion of their owne, which their Husbands never know of. It is the nature of nice and faſtidious mindes to know things onely to bee weary of them: Women by their ſlye _changeableneſſe_, and pleaſing doubleneſſe, prevent even the miſlike of thoſe, for they can never be ſo well knowne, but that there is ſtill more unknowne. Every Woman is a _Science_; for hee that plods upon a Woman all his life long, ſhall at length find himſelfe ſhort of the knowledge of her: they are borne to take downe the pride of wit, and ambition of wiſedome, making _fooles_ wiſe in the adventuring to winne them, _wiſemen_ fooles in conceit of loſing their labours; witty men ſtarke mad, being confounded with their uncertaineties. _Philoſophers_ write againſt them for ſpight, not deſert, that having attained to ſome knowledge in all other things, in them onely they know nothing, but are meerely ignorant: _Active_ and _Experienced_ men raile againſt them, becauſe they love in their liveleſſe and decrepit age, when all goodneſſe leaves them. Theſe envious _Libellers_ ballad againſt them, becauſe having nothing in themſelves able to deſerve their love, they maliciouſly diſcommend all they cannot obtaine, thinking to make men beleeve they know much, becauſe they are able to diſpraiſe much, and rage againſt _Inconſtancy_, when they were never admitted into ſo much favour as to be forſaken. In mine Opinion ſuch men are happy that Women are _Inconſtant_, for ſo may they chance to bee beloved of ſome excellent Women (when it comes to their turne) out of their _Inconſtancy_ and mutability, though not out of their owne deſert. And what reaſon is there to clog any Woman with one Man, bee hee never ſo ſingular? Women had rather, and it is farre better and more Iudiciall to enjoy all the vertues in ſeverall Men, than but ſome of them in one, for otherwiſe they loſe their taſte, like divers ſorts of meat minced together in one diſh: and to have all excellencies in one Man (if it were poſſible) is _Confuſion_ and _Diverſity_. Now who can deny, but ſuch as are obſtinately bent to undervalue their worth, are thoſe that have not ſoule enough to comprehend their excellency, Women being the moſt excellenteſt Creatures, in that Man is able to ſubject all things elſe, and to grow wiſe in every thing, but ſtill perſiſts a foole in Woman? The greateſt _Scholler_, if hee once take a Wife, is found ſo unlearned, that he muſt begin his _Horne-booke_, and all is by _Inconſtancy_. To conclude therefore; this name of _Inconſtancy_, which hath ſo much beene poyſoned with ſlaunders, ought to bee changed into _variety_, for the which the world is ſo delightfull, _and a Woman for that the moſt delightfull thing in this world_.
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2.
_That Women ought to paint._
_Fouleneſſe_ is _Lothſome_: can that be ſo which helpes it? who forbids his Beloved to gird in her waſte? to mend by ſhooing her uneven lameneſſe? to burniſh her teeth? or to perfume her breath? yet that the _Face_ bee more preciſely regarded, it concernes more: For as open confeſſing ſinners are alwaies puniſhed, but the wary and concealing offenders without witneſſe doe it alſo without puniſhment; ſo the ſecret parts needs the leſſe reſpect; but of the _Face_, diſcovered to all Examinations and ſurvayes, there is not too nice a Iealouſie. Nor doth it onely draw the buſie eyes, but it is ſubject to the divineſt touch of all, to _kiſſing_, the ſtrange and myſticall union of ſoules. If ſhee ſhould proſtitute her ſelfe to a more unworthy Man than thy ſelfe, how earneſtly and juſtly wouldſt thou exclaime? that for want of this eaſier and ready way of repairing, to betray her body to ruine and deformity (the tyrannous _Raviſhers_, and ſodaine _Deflourers_ of all Women) what a heynous Adultery is it? What thou loveſt in her _face_ is _colour_, and _painting_ gives that, but thou hateſt it, not becauſe it is, but becauſe thou knoweſt it. Foole, whom ignorance makes happy; the Starres, the Sunne, the Skye whom thou admireſt, alas, have no _colour_, but are faire, becauſe they ſeeme to bee coloured: If this ſeeming will not ſatisfie thee in her, thou haſt good aſſurance of her _colour_, when thou ſeeſt her _lay_ it on. If her _face_ bee _painted_ on a Boord or Wall, thou wilt love it, and the Boord, and the Wall: Canſt thou loath it then when it ſpeakes, ſmiles, and kiſſes, becauſe it is _painted_? Are wee not more delighted with ſeeing Birds, Fruites, and Beaſts _painted_ then wee are with Naturalls? And doe wee not with pleaſure behold the _painted_ ſhape of Monſters and Divels, whom true, wee durſt not regard? Wee repaire the ruines of our houſes, but firſt cold tempeſts warnes us of it, and bytes us through it; wee mend the wracke and ſtaines of our Apparell, but firſt our eyes, and other bodies are offended; but by this providence of Women, this is prevented. If in _kiſſing_ or _breathing_ upon her, the _painting_ fall off, thou art angry, wilt thou be ſo, if it ſticke on? Thou didſt love her, if thou beginneſt to hate her, then ’tis becauſe ſhee is not _painted_. If thou wilt ſay now, thou didſt hate her before, thou didſt hate her and love her together, bee conſtant in ſomething, and love her who ſhewes her great _love_ to thee, in taking this paines to ſeeme _lovely_ to thee.
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3.
_That by Diſcord things increaſe._
_Nullos eſſe Deos, inane Cœlum Affirmat Cœlius, probatq; quod ſe Factum vidit, dum negat hæc, beatum._
So I aſſevere this the more boldly, becauſe while I maintaine it, and feele the _Contrary repugnancies_ and _adverſe fightings_ of the _Elements_ in my Body, my Body increaſeth; and whilſt I differ from common opinions by this _Diſcord_, the number of my _Paradoxes_ increaſeth. All the rich benefits we can frame to our ſelves in _Concord_, is but an _Even_ conſervation of things; in which _Evenneſſe_ wee can expect no _change_, no _motion_; therefore no _increaſe_ or _augmentation_, which is a _member of motion_. And if this _unity_ and _peace_ can give _increaſe_ to things, how mightily is _diſcord_ and _war_ to that purpoſe, which are indeed the onely ordinary _Parents_ of _peace_. _Diſcord_ is never ſo barren that it affords no fruit; for the _fall_ of one _eſtate_ is at the worſt the _increaſer_ of another, becauſe it is as impoſſible to finde a _diſcommodity_ without _advantage_, as to finde _Corruption_ without _Generation_: But it is the _Nature_ and _Office_ of _Concord_ to _preſerve_ onely, which property when it leaves, it differs from it ſelfe, which is the greateſt _diſcord_ of all. All _Victories_ and _Emperies_ gained by _warre_, and all _Iudiciall_ decidings of doubts in _peace_, I doe claime children of _Diſcord_. And who can deny but _Controverſies_ in _Religion_ are growne greater by _diſcord_, and not the _Controverſie_, but _Religion_ it ſelfe: For in a _troubled miſery_ Men are alwaies more _Religious_ then in a _ſecure peace_. The number of _good_ men, the onely charitable nouriſhers of _Concord_, wee ſee is thinne, and daily melts and waines; but of _bad diſcording_ it is infinite, and growes hourely. Wee are aſcertained of all _Diſputable_ doubts, onely by _arguing_ and differing in _Opinion_, and if formall _diſputation_ (which is but a painted, counterfeit, and diſſembled _diſcord_) can worke us this benefit, what ſhall not a full and maine _diſcord_ accompliſh? Truely me thinkes I owe a _devotion_, yea a _ſacrifice_ to _diſcord_, for caſting that _Ball_ upon _Ida_, and for all that buſineſſe of _Troy_, whom ruin’d I admire more then _Babylon_, _Rome_, or _Quinzay_, removed _Corners_, not onely fulfilled with her _fame_, but with _Cities_ and _Thrones_ planted by her _Fugitives_. Laſtly, between _Cowardice_ and _deſpaire_, _Valour_ is gendred; and ſo the _Diſcord_ of _Extreames_ begets all vertues, but of the _like things_ there is no iſſue without a miracle:
_Vxor peſſima, peſſimus maritus Miror tam malè convenire._
Hee wonders that betweene two ſo _like_, there could be any _diſcord_, yet perchance for all this _diſcord_ there was nere the leſſe _increaſe_.
[Decoration]
4.
_That good is more common then evill._
I have not been ſo pittifully tired with any _vanity_, as with ſilly _Old Mens_ exclaiming againſt theſe times, and extolling their owne: Alas! they betray themſelves, for if the _times_ be _changed_, their manners have changed them. But their ſenſes are to _pleaſures_, as _ſick Mens_ taſtes are to _Liquors_; for indeed no _new thing_ is done in the _world_, all things are what, and as they were, and _Good_ is as ever it was, more plenteous, and muſt of neceſſity be _more common then evill_, becauſe it hath this for _nature_ and _perfection_ to bee _common_. It makes _Love_ to all _Natures_, all, all affect it. So that in the _Worlds_ early _Infancy_, there was a time when nothing was _evill_, but if this _World_ ſhall ſuffer _dotage_ in the extreameſt _crookedneſſe_ thereof, there ſhall be no time when nothing ſhal be _good_. It dares appeare and ſpread, and gliſter in the _World_, but _evill_ buries it ſelfe in night and darkneſſe, and is chaſtiſed and ſuppreſſed when _good_ is cheriſhed and rewarded. And as _Imbroderers_, _Lapidaries_, and other _Artiſans_, can by all things adorne their workes; for by adding better things, the better they ſhew in _Luſh_ and in _Eminency_; ſo _good_ doth not onely proſtrate her _amiableneſſe_ to all, but refuſes no end, no not of her utter contrary _evill_, that ſhee may bee the more _common_ to us. For _euill manners_ are _parents_ of _good Lawes_; and in every _evill_ there is an _excellency_, which (in common ſpeech) we call _good_. For the faſhions of _habits_, for our moving in _geſtures_, for phraſes in our _ſpeech_, we ſay they were _good_ as long as they were uſed, that is, as long as they were _common_; and wee eate, wee walke, onely when it is, or ſeemes _good_ to doe ſo. All _faire_, all _profitable_, all _vertuous_, is _good_, and theſe three things I thinke embrace all things, but their utter _contraries_; of which alſo _faire_ may be _rich_ and _vertuous_; _poore_ may bee _vertuous_ and _faire_; _vitious_ may be _faire_ and _rich_; ſo that _good_ hath this good meanes to be _common_, that ſome ſubjects ſhe can poſſeſſe intirely; and in ſubjects poyſoned with _evill_, ſhe can humbly ſtoop to accompany the _evill_. And of _indifferent_ things many things are become perfectly good by being _common_, as _cuſtomes_ by uſe are made binding _Lawes_. But I remember nothing that is therefore _ill_, becauſe it is _common_, but _Women_, of whom alſo; _They that are moſt common, are the beſt of that Occupation they profeſſe_.
[Decoration]
5.
_That all things kill themſelves._
To affect, yea to effect their owne _death_ all _living_ things are importuned, not by _Nature_ only which perfects them, but by _Art_ and _Education_, which perfects her. _Plants_ quickened and inhabited by the moſt unworthy _ſoule_, which therefore neither _will_ nor _worke_, affect an _end_, a _perfection_, a _death_; this they ſpend their _ſpirits_ to attaine, this attained, they languiſh and wither. And by how much more they are by mans _Induſtry_ warmed, cheriſhed, and pampered; ſo much the more early they climbe to this _perfection_, this _death_. And if amongſt _Men_ not to _defend_ be to _kill_, what a hainous _ſelfe-murther_ is it, not to _defend it ſelfe_. This _defence_ becauſe _Beaſts_ neglect, they kill themſelves, becauſe they exceed us in _number_, _ſtrength_, and a _lawleſſe liberty_: yea, of _Horſes_ and other beaſts, they that inherit _moſt courage_ by being bred of _gallanteſt parents_, and by _Artificial nurſing_ are bettered, will runne to their owne _deaths_, neither ſollicited by _ſpurres_ which they need not, nor by _honour_ which they apprehend not. If then the _valiant_ kill himſelfe, who can excuſe the _coward_? Or how ſhall _Man_ bee free from this, ſince the _firſt Man_ taught us this, except we cannot kill our ſelves, becauſe he kill’d us all. Yet leſt ſomething ſhould repaire this _Common ruine_, we daily kill our _bodies_ with _ſurfeits_, and our mindes with _anguiſhes_. Of our _powers_, _remembring_ kils our _memory_; Of _Affections_, _Luſting_ our _luſt_; Of _vertues_, _Giving_ kils _liberality_. And if theſe kill themſelves, they do it in their beſt & ſupreme _perfection_: for after _perfection_ immediately follows _exceſſe_, which changeth the natures and the names, and makes them not the ſame things. If then the beſt things kill themſelves ſooneſt, (for no _affection_ endures, and all things labour to this _perfection_) all travell to their owne _death_, yea the frame of the whole _World_, if it were poſſible for _God_ to be _idle_, yet becauſe it _began_, muſt _dye_. Then in this _idleneſſe_ imagined in _God_, what could kill the _world_ but it ſelfe, ſince _out of it, nothing is_?
[Decoration]
6.
_That it is poſsible to find ſome vertue in ſome Women._