BOOK III.

----Nations would do well T' extort their truncheons from the puny hands Of Heroes, whose infirm and baby minds Are gratified with mischief; and who spoil, Because men suffer it, their Toy--The World.

_Tyrants deposed to preserve the Throne--In Europe--In England before the Conquest--By each other since.--No right line any where--Difference between Tyrants and Kings--Government instituted by the People for their oivn good--Tyrants treat men as cattle to be slaughtered--God decrees their fall--Ordains Revolutions by the People._

Search we the long records of ages past, Look back as far as antient rolls will last; Beyond what oldest history relates, While kings had people, people magistrates; Nations, e'er since there has been king or crown, Have pull'd down tyrants to preserve the throne.

The laws of nature then, as still they do, Taught them, their rights and safety to pursue; That if a king, who should protect, destroys, He forfeits all the sanction he enjoys.

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There's not a nation ever own'd a crown, But if their kings opprest them, pull'd them down; Concurring Providence has been content, And always blest the action in th' event.

He that, invested with the robes of power, Thinks'tis his right the people to devour, Will always find some stubborn men remain, That have so little wit, they won't be slain; Who always turn again when they're opprest, And basely spoil the gay tyrannic jest; Tell kings--of Nature, Laws of God, and Right, Take up their arms, and with their tyrants fight.

When passive thousands fall beneath the sword, And freely die at the imperial word, A stern, unyielding, self-defending few, While they resist, will ravel all the clew; Will all the engines of oppression awe, And trample pow'r beneath the feet of law.

'Tis always natural for men opprest, Whene'er occasion offers to resist; They're traitors else to truth and common sense, And rebels to the laws of Providence; 'Tis not enough to say, they _may_--they _must_; The strong necessity declares it just; * 'Tis Heav'n's supreme command to man, and they Are always blest who that command obey.

* If it be asked, Who shall be judge? it is plain that God has made Nature judge. If a king make a law, destructive of human society and the general good, may it not be resisted and opposed? "No!" exclaim a junta of holy meu, "it is from GOD!" What is _Blasphemy?_

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So France deposed the Merovingian line, And banish'd Childrick * lost the right divine; So Holy League their sacred Henry ** slew, And call'd a counsel to erect a new; For right divine must still to justice bow, And people first the right to rule bestow:

So Spain to arbitrary kings inured, Yet arbitrary Favila *** abjured; Denmark four kings deposed, and Poland seven, Swedeland but one-and-twenty, Spain eleven: Russia, Demetrius banish'd from the throne,**** And Portugal pull'd young Alphonsus down; Each nation that deserves the name of state, Has set up laws above the magistrate; Hence, when a self-advancing wretch acquires A lawless rule, his government expires.

* Childeric I. the son of Merovius, for his lasciviousness, was banished by the great men, and one Egidiu?, a Gaul, set up in his stead. Childeiic II. was banished and deposed by his subjects, and king Pepin reigned in his stead; and so ended the Merovingian family.

** The League deposed Henry III. and declared him a tyrant, a murderer, and incapable to reign, and held frequent counsels with the pope's legate and the Spaniards about settling the crown, and several proposals were made of settling it, sometimes on the infanta of Spain, at other times on the cardinal of Boubon, the duke de Main, and others.

*** Favila, a cruel tyrant, was deposed by the Castilians, who chose judges to administer the government, till they appointed another.

**** Besides the banishment of Demetrius, the History of Russia furnishes a sickening catalogue of the butchery of her despots by each other. During the debate in the House of Lords on the 19th of February, 1821, Lord Holland, observing on the Crusade of the Holy Alliance of Despots against Naples, said, "That objections to the freedom of political constitutions came but ungracefully from the reigning Emperor of Russia, who ascended a throne reeking with the blood of his own father: and as this member of that holy league, owed his crown to the murder of his father, it brought to his recollection, that since the time of the Czar Peter I. no sovereign had ascended the throne of Russia with-out its being stained with the blood of his immediate predecessor, or some other member of his own family."

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Explore the past, the steps of monarchs tread, And view the sacred titles of the dead; Look to the early kings of Britain's isle, For _Jus Divinum_ in our _native_ style.

Conquest, or compacts, form the rights of kings, And both are human, both unsettled things; Both subject to contingencies of fate, And so the godship of them proves a cheat.

The crowns and thrones the greatest monarchs have, Were either stolen, or the people gave.

What claim had colonel Cnute, * or captain Suene? What right the roving Saxon, pirate Dane? Hengist, or Horsa, Woden's blood defied, And on their sword, not right divine, relied.

* The leaders of the invading Saxons and Danes were mere thieves and robbers, pretending to no light but that of the sword. Hengist and Horsa were Saxon leaders, who after conquering Kent, made themselves kings. Woden is famed to be the first great leader of the Goths into Europe, and all their kings affected to be thought of his predatory blood.

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The Norman Bastard, how divine his call! And where's his heav'nly high original? These naked nations, long a helpless prey, To foreign and domestic tyranny;-- Their infant strength unfit to guard their name-- Was left exposed to ev'ry robber's claim, An open prey to pirates, and the isle, To wild invaders, grew an early spoil.

The Romans ravaged long our wealthy coast, And long our plains fed Caesar's num'rous host.

What birthright raised that rav'nous leader's name? His sword, and not his fam'ly, form'd his claim.

Where'er the Roman eagles spread their wings, They conquer'd nations, and they pull'd down kings; Caesar in triumph o'er the whole presided, And right of conquest half the world divided.

For Liberty our sires in arms appear'd, And in its sacred name with courage warr'd; Made the invaders buy their conquest dear, And legions of their bones lie buried here. *

* The hillocks or barrows still remaining in most parts of Eng-land were the graves of the soldiers. There are four very large ones near Stevenage in Hertfordshire, close to the road. The plains in Wiltshire and Dorsetshire are full of these monuments of the valorous achievements of the Britons iu defence of their liberty.

When these their work of slaughter had fulfill'd, And seas of British blood bedew'd the field; Shoals of Barbarian Goths, worse thieves than they, From Caledonian Friths, and frozen Tay, O'erspread the fruitful, now abandon'd plains, And led the captured victims in their chains: The weaken'd natives, helpless and distrest, Doom'd to be plunder'd, ravish'd, and oppress'd, Employ new thieves from the rude Northern coast, To rob them of the little not yet lost.

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The work once done, the workmen, to be paid, Only demand themselves, and all they had! In dreadful strife their freedom to maintain, They fought with fury, but they fought in vain; Yet, like Antaeus, every time they fell, Their veins with rage and indignation swell; Not for continued losses they despair, But for still fiercer battle they prepare; Again their blood the Saxon chariots stains, And heaps of heroes strew th' ensanguin'd plains; Thus, though they leave the world, they keep the field, And thus their lives, but not their freedom yield.

Three hundred years of bloody contest past, Plunder'd at first, and dispossest at last, The few remains, with freedom still inspir'd, To Western mountains, to resist retired; Their dear abandon'd country thence they view, And thence their thirst of Liberty renew; Offers of peaceful bondage they defy, What's peace to man without his liberty? *

* The Britons fought one hundred and sixty-three pitched bat-tles. They might well be said to be conquered, for in these prodigious straggles for their liberty they were nearly all slain. They fought as long as there were any men to be raised? but the Saxons swarming continually over from vastly populous countries, the few Britons that remained, took sanctuary in the wes-tern mountains of Wales, and from the crags and cliffs, poor and distrest as they were, they made constant inroads and excursions upon the Saxons; the Saxon Annals are filled with accounts of the renewed warfare. Even the English histories frequently mention the incursions of the Welsh, till, at last, united to England, they seem to be incorporated with the natives of their ancient soil.

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The conquer'd nation--fell a dear bought prey, And Britain's island, _Saxon_ Lords obey: The shouting troops their victories proclaim, And load their chiefs with royalty and fame: The garland of their triumphs was their crown, Mob set them up, and rabble pull'd them down!

Fighting was all the merit they could bring, The bloodiest wretch appear'd the bravest King! Nor did his kingship any longer last, Than till by some more powerful rogue displaced. In spoil and blood was fix'd the right divine. And thus commenced the royal Saxon line:--

That sword that vanquish'd innocence in fight, The sword that crush'd the banish'd Britons' right, At pleasure subdivides the British crown, And forms eight soldier kingdoms out of one.

From these we strive to date our royal line, And these must help us to a right divine; From actions buried in eternal night, Priestcraft is brought, to fix the fancied right; Priestcraft that, always on the strongest side, Contrives, tho' kings should walk, that priests shall ride.

One master thief his fellows dispossest, And gave, once more, the weeping nation rest; For Egbert, * English monarchy began, By his Almighty-sword--the Sacred man!

* Egbert came over originally from France, and was not the successor of any prince of the West Saxon kingdom, nor of any kingdom.

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Yet who was Egbert? Search his ancient breed; What sacred ancestors did he succeed? What mighty princes form'd his royal line, And handed down to him the right divine?

A high-Dutch trooper, sent abroad to fight, Whose trade was blood, and in his arm his right: A supernumerary Holsteineer, * For want of room at home, sent out to war; A mere Swiss** mercenary, who for bread, Was born on purpose to be knock'd in head; A Saxon soldier was his high descent, Murder his business, plunder his intent; The poor unvalued, despicable thing, A thief by nation, and by fate a king!

* The Saxons that came over were from Jutland, Holstein, &c. The poor countries the Saxons lived in, being unable to support the vast numbers of the people they produced, they sought subsistence and habitations in fruitful and plentiful lands.

** A Swiss, alludes to their being mercenaries.

To-day the monarch glories in his crown, A soldier thief to-morrow knocks him down, And calls the fancied right divine his own!

In the next age that 'rightful' Lord's forgot, And rampant treason triumphs on the spot: Success gives title, makes possession just, For if the fates obey, the subjects must.

We should be last of all that should pretend, The long descent of princes to defend; Since, if hereditary right's the claim, The English line has forty times been lame; Of all the nations in the world, there's none Have less of true succession in their crown.

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Britannia now, with men of blood opprest, And all her race of tyrants lately ceased; Ill fate prevailing, seeks at foreign shores, And for worse monsters, ignorantly implores.

The right divine was so despised a thing, The crown went out a begging for a king Of foreign breed, of unrelated race, Whore in his scutcheon, tyrant in his face j Of spurious birth, and intermingled blood, Who nor our laws nor language understood.

William the early summons soon obeys, Ambition fills his sails, his fleets the seas; By cruel hopes, and fatal valour sped, The foreign legions Britain's shores o'erspread: The sword decides the claim, the land's the prey, Fated the conquering tyrant to obey.

Harold by usurpation gain'd the crown, * And ditto usurpation pull'd him down. Nothing but patience then could Britain claim; Oppress'd by suff'ring, suff'ring made her tame: She saw the tyrant William quit the throne, And hoped for better usage from his son; But change of tyrants gave her small relief, She lost the lion, and receiv'd the thief.

* Harold seized upon the crown by force. He had no claim to it, by blood or inheritance, being the son of Earl Goodwin.

Rufus, his father's ill got treasure seized, The greedy sons of mother-church appeased; Bought up rebellion with the cash he stole, Secured the Clergy, and seduced the whole.

So brib'ry first with robbery combined To ride before, and treason rode behind.

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Ambition, and the lust of rule prevail'd, And Robert's right, on Rufus' head entail'd. *

Beau-Clerk next grasp'd his elder brother's crown, And, by his sword, maintain'd it was his own: The second ** Henry fights, and fighting treats, To own the prince's title he defeats; Consents to mean conclusions of the war, And stoops to be a base usurper's heir; Accepts the ignominious grant, and shows His right's as bad as Stephen's that bestows: The royal tricksters thus divide the prey, And helpless crowds the jugglers' swords obey. ***

Then John, **** another branch of Henry's line, Jumps on the throne, in spite of Right Divine, Turn we to mighty Edward's deathless name; Or to his son's, whose conquests were the same; That mighty hero of right royal race, His father still alive, usurp'd his place. (v)

* They were both usurpers, for the true right of descent was in Edgar Atheling. of the race of Edmund Ironside.

** Henry II. was obliged to compromise the dispute with his competitor Stephen; a prudent agreement, but in defiance of hereditary right.

*** As at the death of Henry I. the main line of Normandy ended, so the succession has ever since proved so brittle, that it never held to the third heir in a right descent without being put by, or receiving some alteration by usurpation, or extinction of the male blood.--Churchill's Divi Britannici, p. 207.

**** King John was the youngest son of Henry II., who had his eldest line deposed. Henry was the son of a usurper, a usurper himself, and the murderer of his own brother's son.

(v) Edward III. reigned, his father, Edward II. being a prisoner, and was afterwards murdered.

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As Edward on his parent's murder stood, So Richard's tyrant reign was closed in blood: Deposed and murder'd, Edward's father lies; Deposed and murder'd--thus the grandson * dies.

Lancastrian Henry from his feeble head, The bauble wrench'd, and wore it in his stead; Three of his name by due succession reign, And York demands the right of line in vain.

Thro' seas of slaughter, for this carnaged crown Edward, not went, but waded to the throne ** Three times deposed, three times restored by force, Priest-ridden Henry's title*** yields of course.

Short lived the right the conquering king enjoy'd, Treason and crime his new-crown'd race destroy'd; As if the crimson hand of Power pursued The very crown, and fated it to blood, Richard by lust of government allured, By double murders, next that crown procured; For silent records trumpet-tongued proclaim The jails and graves of princes are the same.

At Bosworth field, the crookback was dethroned; Slain in the fight, and then the victor own'd! ****

* Richard II.

** Edward IV.

*** Henry VI.

**** Richard III. was succeeded by Henry VII. who had clearly no claim to the crown from blood. After him it still devolved with irregularity, although uuder the Tudors, the doctrine of hereditary right was as vaguely maintained as before. Thus, a Parliament granted to Henry VIII. the power of regulating the succession by will, and it was by pretending to exercise a similar power under an alleged will of Edward VI. that the unprincipled Northumberland sought the establishment of Lady Jane Grey. Elizabeth, on the same ground, was importuned to appoint a suc-cessor, at intervals, during the last twenty years of her reign; and finally, named the King of Scotland in her last moments. These are strange incidents for the advocates of Divine Right! The fact is, this wretched theory was never formally advocated until the days of James I.; and it may be considered to be one of the precions fruits of that settled connexion between Church and State, of which the Despot, Henry VIII., laid the foun-dation. Yet no Despot ever supported himself steadily on an English throne; and what is there to prove, that such men ever can? Look at King Richard II., he was a finished gentle-man, possessed some taste for literature, and shewed himself as. fond of finery as need be; but he waged war with the common sense of the realm and the rights of the people,--and finally, by entrusting his power to weak, inefficient, and corrupt ministers, roused the anger of a distressed and overtaxed community. Moral--They were beheaded, and he was dethroned.

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So men of blood, incited by its taste, By lust of rule urged on, laid England waste; Oppression then upon oppression grew, One royal wretch another overthrew; They made a football of the People's crown, And brother-tyrant brother-king pull'd down, Succeeding robberies revenged the past, And every age of crime outdid the last.

Look on once more--the tangled line survey, By which kings claim to bind men to obey.

In the right line they say their title lies: But if its twisted?--then the title dies. Look at it!--knotted, spliced in every place! Closely survey the intersected race-- So full of violations, such a brood.

Of false successions, spurious births, and blood; Such perjuries, such frauds, to mount a throne, That Kings might blush their ancestors to own!

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Oh! but Possession supersedes the Line!

Indeed!--then king, as king, has Right Divine; And, coy Succession fled from majesty, Makes Usurpation as divine as he; _De Facto is de Jure_, and a throne, To every dog that steals it is his bone!

Hence tyrants--and from these infected springs, Flows the best title of _the Best of Kings!_ *

* The Best of Kings (Court slang) the King for the time being.--Many a king has been the worst man of his age, but no king was ever the best. In 1683, the very year of Charles the Second's reign, in which Lord William Russel and Algernon Sydney were murdered under the forms of law, by packed juries, and the king's passive obedient judges--when the throne floated in blood, and the king's manners were notoriously and disgust-ingly sensual and dissolute--in that year, J. Shnrley, M. A. in his 'Ecclesiastical History Epitomised,' gives Charles the title of "the best of kings!" calls his life and reign virtuous! and prays that his days may be as the days of Heaven!--This loyal author calls himself, The Christian reader's "beloved Brother in Christ!" Of the same king, Charles II., Horace Walpole (Lord Orford) gives this character in his Epistle from Florence:-- (Dodsley's Collection, vol. iii. p. 92.)

Fortune, or fair, or frowning, on his soul Could stamp no virtue, and no vice controul!

Honour or morals, gratitude or truth, Nor taught his ripen'd age, nor knew his youth!

The care of nations left to whores or chance, Plund'rer of Britain, pensioner of France; Free to buffoons, to ministers denied, He lived an atheist, and a bigot died!

All kings have parasites and praise; the Press records their actions; and Posterity gives their characters.

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_Right of Succession_, or what other claim Of right to rule, by whatsoever name Or title call'd, by whomsoever urged, Is in the people's right of choosing merged.

The right's the People's, and the People's choice Binds kings in duty to obey their voice; The Public Will, the only Right Divine, Sanctions the office, or divides the line; Topples the crown from off the tyrant's head, And puts a king to govern in his stead.

Tyrant and king are vastly different things-- We're robb'd by tyrants, but obey'd by kings!

If it be ask'd, how the distinction's known, Oppression marks him out--the nations groan, The broken laws, the cries of injur'd blood, Are languages by all men understood! *

* Tyrants lose all respect for humanity, in proportion as they are sunk beneath it; taught to believe themselves of a different species, they really become so; lose their participation with their kind; and, in mimicking the God, dwindle into the brute! Blind with prejudices as a mole, stung with truth as with scorpions, sore all over with wounded pride like a boil, their minds a heap of morbid proud flesh and bloated humours, a disease and gan-grene in the state, instead of its life-blood and vital principle-- foreign despots claim mankind as their property. They regard men crawling on the face of the earth as we do insects that cross our path, and survey the common drama of human life as a fantoccini exhibition got up for tlieir amusement. It is the over-weening, aggravated, intolerable sense of swelling pride and ungovernable self-will that so often drives them mad; as it is their blind fatuity and insensibility to all beyond themselves, that, transmitted through successive generations, and confirmed by regal intermarriages, in time makes them idiots.

Hazlitt's Political Essays, p. 341.

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Just laws and liberty make patriot kings; Tyrants and tyranny are self-made things. *

* Though a Despot be transformed into a limited king, he is in heart and purpose still a despot. He feels duress; he is not at liberty to oppress at his pleasare; and he awaits an opportnnity to exercise 'the Right Divine of Kings to govern wrong;' for he holds the doctrine that "oaths are not to be kept with subjects." In the reign of Richard II. the Duke of Norfolk apprised the Duke of Hereford, that the King purposed their destruction:--

Hereford.--God forbid!--He has sworn by St. Edward, to be a good Lord to me and the others.

Norfolk.-- So has he often sworn to me by God's Body: but I do not trust him the more for that!

Every restored despot has become an unblushing and shameless perjurer; where is there in history an instance to the con- trary?--Once a Despot, and always a Despot.

Alfred the Great is the only King in our annals who being guilty of misgovernment, and seeing its evils had the high courage to acknowledge his crime by amendment. At the commencement of his reign he seemed to consider his exalted dignity as an emancipation from restraint, and to have found leisure, even amidst his struggles with the Danes, to indulge the irapetuosity of his passions. His immorality and despotism provoked the censure of the virtuous; he was haughty to his subjects, neglected the administration of justice, and treated with contempt the complaints of the indigent and oppressed. In the eighth year of his reign he was driven from the throne by the Danes. Narrowly escaping death and enduring many hardships, adversity brought reflection. According to the piety of the age, instead of tracing events to their political sources, he referred them immediately to the providence of God; and considered his misfortunes as the instrument with which Divine Justice punished his past enormities. By his prudence and valour he regaiued the throne, and drew np a code of laws by which he ordained the governmeat should be administered. Magistrates trembled at his stern impartiality and inflexibility. He executed forty-four judges in one year for their informal and iniquitous proceedings. Hence their survivors and successors were careful to acquire a competent degree of knowledge, and their decisions became accordant to the law. Discovering that the only real foundation of national happiness is in the enlightenment of the people, he instructed them himself by his writings, endowed establishments for the promotion of Education, and became the guardian and benefactor of his country.*--His virtues were the fruit of early instruction. When he was a child, his mother, Osburga, awakened in him a passion for learning aud knowledge. Holding in her hand a Saxon poem, elegantly written and beautifully illnminated, she offered it as a reward to the first of her children whose proficiency should enable him to read it to her. The emulation of Alfred was excited: he ran to his master, applied to the task with diligence, performed it to the satisfaction of the queen, and received the prize of his industry. His mind thus opened by this excellent woman, she dropped in the seeds of knowledge; by careful culture they grew into wisdom, and Alfred is one of the most illustrious instances of the endless blessings conferred upon man by Education.

From the banks of the strong hold of Corfe Castle, in Dorsetshire, near Wareham, formerly a station of the Danish barbariaus, one of their successors making good his lodgment in a nameless House denies the justice of Universal Education, forgetful, perhaps, that the benighted savages, his predecessors, were finally expelled by Alfred; that it was the triumph of Knowledge and Liberty over Ignorance and Selfish power; and that Alfred, disdaining to use the advantage whick Education gave him over the rest of the people, othirwise than for their welfare, incessuntly laboured to dispense its benefits to All.

* _Lingard's History of England, vol. i. c. 4._

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As government was ever understood To be a measure for the people's good; So when perverted to a wrong intent, It's stark oppression, not a government.

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Blest are the days, and wing'd with joy they fly, When kings protect the people's liberty; When settled peace in stated order reigns, And, nor the nation, nor the king complains; If kings may ravish, plunder, and destroy, Oppress the world, and all its wealth enjoy; May harass nations, with their breath may kill, And limit liberty by royal will; Then was the world for ignorance design'd, And God gave kings to blast the human mind; And Kings but general farmers of the land; And men their stock for slaughter at command; Mere beasts of draught, to crouch and be opprest, Whom God, the mighty landlord, form'd in jest.

Yet who believes that Heaven in vain creates, And gives up what it loves to what it hates; That man's great Maker call'd him into birth, To be destroy'd by tyrant-fiends on earth; That nations are but footstools to a throne, And millions born to be the slaves of one?

Priestcraft! search Scripture, shew me God's decree, That crime shall rule by his authority.

Kingcraft! search Scripture too, and from it prove Thy right to ravage from the God of Love. *

* Priestcraft and Kingcraft are partners in the same firm. They trade together. Kings and conquerors make laws, parcel out lands, and erect churches and palaces for the priests and dignitaries of religion. In return, Priests anoint kings with holy oil, hedge them round with inviolability, spread over them the mysterious sanctity of religion, and, with very little ceremony, make over the whole species as slaves to these Gods upon earth by virtue of Divine Right!

Hazlitt's Political Essays, p. 303.

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No! He has issued no such foul command, But dooms down Despots by the People's hand; Marks tyrants out for fall in every age, Directs the justice of the people's rage; And hurling vengeance on all royal crimes, Ordains the Revolutions of the times!

A thing of no bowels-- ' --from the crown to the toe, topfull Of direst cruelty.--His Realm a slaughter-house-- The swords of soldiers are his teeth-- Iron for Naples, hid with English gilt.

Shakspeare.

The End.

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A SLAP AT SLOP AND THE BRIDGE-STREET GANG

With Twenty-seven Cuts.

LONDON:

PRINTED BY AND FOR WILLIAM HONE,

46, LUDGATE HILL.

Half a-Crown.

{193}

TO THE READER.

The Slap, at first arranged in the manner, and in every respect in imitation, assumed the appearance of a newspaper, except that the columns were broken by _cuts_. It was a crown broadside, and the agreeable appearance of the stamp was preserved by the subjoined diagram being placed at the corner.

Doubtless every one who entered into the design, was satisfied with the original form of the publication; yet the author has been perplexed by numerous applications for an edition in this size. He finds it as difficult to account for want of taste as for it; but it being the fashion for the minority to be polite to the majority, he bends at last to the too general request, and submits The Slap, with a broken spirit, to go down, bound, with his other little pieces.

45, Ludgate Hill,

1822

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Original Address

A Bag of political nuts ready cracked, is not only rather dangerous fare to serve up, but a man who takes the trouble to crack them, will find the kernels cleaner and sweeter for his pains. Though they who run may read the greater portion of the present sheet, yet there are a few articles that require attention, and two or three arc designed for those only who alone can understand them.

My first intention was to parody Slop's paper, 'The Slop-tail,' or 'Much Times,' throughout. But he is as vapid as the Marquess of Lunnunderry. * What could I do with thoughts as unquotable, as confused, as ill conceived, as ill expressed, as that _puissante_ ** Lord's --without depth or originality--as plentiful and superficial as duck-weed.

I found not a sparkle of talent in any of Slop's lean 'leaders' to re-pay me the trouble of wearisome reading. Under the 'stringent necessity' of varying my original plan, yet loth to abandon it altogether, I have parodied some of the features common to the Slop-pail, and supplied the department I had allotted to an imitation of his mindless verbiage with a sketch of his Life--filling the remainder of the sheet in my own way. There are discrepancies inseparable from this course, but I write to good-humoured readers, who have no objection to see the mind as well as the person of a friend in undress, and who take as little interest in the decision of the High Court of Criticism on things of this sort, as they took in the decision of the 'Court of Claims' concerning the 'imposing' ceremony of the coronation, and things of that sort.,

The drawings are, as usual, by Mr. George Cruikshank, whose able pencil has had greater scope here than in a pamphlet; that size would have entirely excluded Dr. Southey's Vision, the

Jack-in-the-Green, and the masterly representation of the Bridge-street gang destroying a Free Press, and suspending Liberty, while Slop is working his Press to distort and torture Truth.

* The Marquess calls London, 'Lunnun.'

** A Marquess is styled 'a most puissant Prince!'

*** For this constipating phrase, see Slop Pail, July 26, 1821

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THE LIFE OFbDOCTOR SLOP,

AND THE ORIGIN OF THE BRIDGE-STREET GANG.

The origin and the end of this man are alike uncertain. He was sent to Oxford when young, as a student destined for holy orders, under the patronage of the Bishop of Durham.

'Go thou and seek the house of prayer:

I to the woodlands bend my way,

And meet Religion there;

She needs not haunt the high-arch'd dome to pray,

Where storied windows dim the doubtful day;

With Liberty she loves to rove'----

These lines, in Mr. Southey's lyric poem, '_written on Sunday Morning_,' * express the thoughts of Slop when a college youth.

* Southey's Minor Poems, vol. i. p. 1S7.

At {196}that time he had a sort of conscience; for, in consequence of an honest course of reading, he refused to subscribe to the Thirty-nine Articles. Thus disqualifying himself from being a candidate for the 'imposition of hands' by the Bishop, he for ever relinquished the prospect of entrance into the church, and cultivated his mind by reading Paine's _Rights of Man._

Fascinated by the writings of Mrs. Mary Wollstoncrofft, more especially by her celebrated '_Vindication of the Rights of Woman,_' he assiduously sought that lady's acquaintance, and having obtained the desired honour, cultivated her intimacy with passionate admiration. On the appearance of Mr. Godwin's '_Inquiry concerning Moral and Political Justice_,' he read and studied it with doting enthusiasm; the chapters on _Property_, and on _the Sexual Intercourse_, were particularly to his taste--the chapter on _Sincerity_, not so much. Hungering for a personal friendship with the author of the _Political Justice_, who became the husband of Mrs. Wollstoncrofft, he humbled himself before him, beseeching permission to consider that philosopher as his Gamaliel, and to sit at his feet as the least of his disciples. This was granted, and in that school he commenced an intimacy with Mr. Thomas Holcroft and his friends. That gentleman had just been released from imprisonment, under indictments for high treason, with Messrs. Hardy, Horne Tooke, and Thelwall, who were tried and acquitted of the charge; and at this time Slop's political fervor rose above the temperament of the most hot-blooded among the patriots he associated with. It had been fashionable to wear the hair long and. tied; he thought this aristocratic, cut his hair off to look like a democrat, became a _round-head_, and was called _Citizen S_. At length he was marked out from his fellows by the distinguishing appellation of '_the Jacobin_,' and he became a _Leveller_. Affixing to the words 'Liberty and Equality,' an interpretation of his own, he contended with the _Spenceans_, that there could be no real Liberty without Equality so he preached the doctrine of _all things in common_; and prevailed on a young man who had imbibed some of his notions, to aid him in proving its advantages. In an attic chamber in the Temple they founded a _community of goods_--lived on short commons --and waited on each other. Here Slop lighted the fire, and fetched water from the Temple pump for their joint use, till, tired of the pitcher-duty, he proposed {197}transferring the undignified office to his companion, who declined to accept it; and a fierce quarrel arising in this 'perfect state of society,' concerning rights and duties, the Commonwealth of two ceased to exist.

In this exigency, moderation, which at one time he seems to have thought criminal, became expedient on many accounts. About 1796 he visited Scotland, with letters of recommendation to respectable society; yet his wild opinions on religion and politics caused him to be disliked by some of the most respectable students who held Whig principles, and who, still holding them, dislike and shun him now for his extreme violence in another direction. When at Edinburgh, he affected singularity of habit as well as thought, and paraded the streets, especially the Leith-Walk, in a drab dress of romantic simplicity. On his return from Scotland, he employed himself in writing for the booksellers. In 1798 he translated the play of Don Carlos, from the German of Schiller, and presented his friend, Mr. Holcroft, with a copy, who says, that 'he executed his task respectably.' * On the 5th of August, in that year, he dined with Mr. Godwin and Mr. Parry (the Republican Editor of the Courier Newspaper when it was conducted on democratic principles), at the house of Mr. Holcroft, where, according to that gentleman's diary, ** he was, 'as usual, acute; but pertinacious and verbose. On the 25th of November, he wrote to Mr. Holcroft, complaining of neglect, *** who answered by denying such intention; and indeed his intimacy with the _coterie_ at Mr. Holcroft's, was of the closest nature, and his attachment to that philosopher's principles and person so strong, that he proposed intermarriage with his family, which was declined. He remained ardently devoted to the new philosophy, long after Mr. Holcroft's death, and until Mr. Godwin found it convenient to decline his wearisome acquaintance. Fickleness and obstinacy, and the exercise of a faculty for incessant disputation, rendered his society very tedious to the philosophers. Fruitless attempts to repress or soften his pugnacious turn, exhausted their patience. In defence of themselves, they disregarded and finally cut him;--so {198}that it became the _New Times_ with him in philosophy.

* Holcroft's Life, vol. ii. p. 269.

** Ibid. vol. iii. p. 32.

*** Ibid. p. 76.

He rambled to conceal his discontent, and to get fresh notions and fresh friends. A pedestrian tour through Scotland, with letters of recommendation, and a pliability of manner accommodated to his new views, effected both. He published his _Tour_ in 1801. It is written with extreme caution. His real opinions are kept out of the book as much as possible; yet they occasionally peep forth; for instance, he says, 'We seem inspired with enthusiasm to fall down and worship the golden image of commerce; let us not wholly submit our feelings to our purses, and counters, and ledgers--we may be very rich in products, and manufactures, and population, and very poor in the spirits and minds of men!' *--he dare not put that in his Slop-pail. In the _Tour_, he speaks in praise of the Rev. Sir Henry Moscreiff

Wellwood, a Scottish Baronet of Whig principles, whose daughter he afterwards married, whether from _innate love of legitimacy_, or what, is unknown. Before he wrote the _Tour_, he procured the degree of LL.D. (as the Laureate has done since), and the philosopher, who had refused subscription to the Thirty-nine Articles to the Church of England, and had been in turn a Republican, a Jacobin, a Leveller, and a Spencean, became a Doctor of Laws, and sunk into the wig and gown of an advocate in the Ecclesiastical Court! Resuming an intimacy with some young men of his own stamp, who knew him at college, they obtained a place for him--he was made king's advocate at Malta. So fell Slop. Here ended his career of what he called Patriotism. He mistook passionate heat for the enthusiasm of genius, a habit of loud talking for talent, a ranting way of writing for reasoning, and pertinacity of manner for firmness of character. His vain disputations occasioned him to be noticed, and this he thought equal to being admired. Conceit of ability rendered him covetous of distinction; he acquired it--

'The Court's a golden, but a. fatal circle, Upon whose magic skirts a thousand devils, In crystal forms sit tempting innocence, And beckon early virtue from its centre.'--

Stoddart's Tour, vol. i. p. 12.

The {199}smirks and smiles of courtiers, the tinsel and glitter of embroidered coats and waistcoats, the hum and sops- of office, hurried him into the train of ministerial menials, as easily as a beggar's hungry brat is seduced by the finery of gilt paper, and the sound of the shovel and brush, to follow the chimney-sweepers on May-day, through the dirty alleys of St. Giles's. His artificial wants were too many to be gratified by an even walk in the path of rectitude. When he saw that 'public principle' was an obstacle to the gratification of his vulgar vanity, he suppressed it--

'He was no Patriot then, nor gave his breath Bravely to speak his mind, and venture death:-- For'twas his judgment then--though not in youth-- One grain of ease was worth a world of Truth'

Watts.

Notwithstanding this, he remained, secretly, a correspondent to the _Monthly Magazine_, and wrote for Sir Richard Phillips.

Vacating his place at Malta in favour of his brother-in-law, and coming back to seek his fortune, he scrambled about during a year and a half, in Doctors' Commons and among the booksellers, in search of employment, till he procured an engagement from the proprietors of _The Times_ as a writer in that journal. His labours in this way were ardent, but profitable to nobody but himself. On the return of Napoleon from Elba, the _ex-republican_ became an admirer of privileged orders, and 'the right divine of kings to govern wrong'--glorified the thrones of the allied despots--fell flat on his face in worship of legitimacy--and affected a beatific vision of the political millenium in the restoration of the Bourbons. He soon honoured Napoleon with all the obnoxious designations the language could supply. He called him 'a villain, a wretch, a rebel, a brigand, a traitor, a fiend, a felon, an incendiary, an impostor, an assassin, a viper, a demon, a fool, a living Moloch, a bloody dog, and a blackamoor.' * To these and hundreds of other names, he prefixed innumerable epithets expressive of disgust and hate. Every one but himself saw that such a course must shortly end. The {200}writer of this article being forcibly reminded of the cursing of Trim in _Tristram Shandy_, ridiculed Slop's _Execratory_, in a little piece intituled 'Buonaparte -phobia; or, _Cursing made Easy, &c_. by Dr. Slop.' * It not only insured to him the name of SLOP for ever, but hastened what was neither intended nor anticipated, his dismissal from _The Times_.

* See the Tract, intituled '_The Origin of Dr. Slops, Name._'

The persecution of the French Protestants on the restoration of Louis XVIII. and their massacre at _Nismes_, occasioned the English Protestants to interest themselves heartily for their relief. The Committee of Dissenters at Dr, Williams's _Library in Red-Cross-street_ inquired into the facts, published a verifying Report, and took measures for sending pecuniary succours. Seeking to earn the wages of his prostitution by slavering the hoof of tyranny, and maddened that Bourbon bigotry should be obstructed in its operation, Slop denied the truth of the statements, vilified the whole body of English Dissenters, imputed their humanity to unworthy and scandalous motives, and threw as many daring fabrications as his mercenary pen could create in the way of their efforts. With undaunted audacity he gave the lie direct to his father-in-law, Sir Henry Moncreiff Wellwood, who, in the kindness and courage of his heart, became President of a Public Meeting at Edinburgh, and inspirited the Protestants of Scotland to co-operate in a national subscription for the persecuted. When Slop's slanders were successfully repelled, and his artful falsehoods exposed, he withdrew without evidencing any other regret than what arose from his having been unable to effect his unhallowed purposes.

*****

His first exploit after his expulsion from _The Times_ was, an attempt to delude the public by engrafting himself upon a _quacking_ newspaper, now known, like himself, by a two-fold name, it being indiscriminately called 'The Muck Times,' and 'The Slop Pail.' The imposition succeeded only with a few. His writing gave the lie direct to his puffing pretensions, and his falsehoods were exposed in the paper from which he had been discharged. * He knows full well,' says _The Times_ ( in February, 18]7) that 'his articles were rejected {201}from our columns on account of the virulence and indiscretion with which they were written; and that, for more than twelve months preceding, whatever articles attracted notice by their merit, were exclusively the productions of other gentlemen.--_There are in the office, sacks full of his rejected writings_; which, if they were published, would exhibit an accurate criterion of his puffed-off abilities; _the sale of our Journal increased the more, the less he wrote; and since he has ceased from writing altogether, has extended with a rapidity of which we have known no example, since we have had the management of it_. This and other statements were stunning blows to him, and remained unnoticed, because they were unanswerable.

* This squib is reprinted entire in a pamphlet, intituled 'The Origin of Dr. Slops Name.'

His overweening pride received another shock through his new friends the _legitimates_. He went to Paris, and applied to be introduced at court; but 'The Bourbon' refused to receive him! Yes! refused to receive him--Slop; that Slop who, to gain the favour of his Most Christian Majesty, when he was in England, had 'tainted himself with the plague-spot of Legitimacy, till he was leprous all over; in whose inmost soul it had fixed its mortal sting, and, like an ugly spider, entangled him in its slimy folds, brooding on him as on its own poison.' ** He--who had abandoned principle, was abandoned by friends, had incurred the world's contempt, and had sold himself to the devil in the service of legitimacy--_he_ to be refused permission to bow over the hand of Louis XVIII!--_he_ to be despised and rejected by that same Louis who had received Mr. Street, the late Editor of the _Courier_, with open arms, and conferred on him the order of the _Lys!_--this was the unkindest cut of all! He returned to England in the last stage of mortification--a bye-word--a reproach--a laughing stock!

* See also 'The Origin of Dr. Slop's Name.'--Preface

** Hazlitt's Political Essays.--Preface.

Harnessed with other hacks to the machine of tyranny, he must answer to the lash of the driver, and drag it along, or be trampled over. Smack went the whip, and on went Slop. To support the new order of things in France, it was necessary, in addition to the bayonets of foreigners, that the press there should be put under a censorship, and that the _free_ press of England should make {202}a monstrous experiment to write up the advantages of a shackled press in France. Dr. Slop undertook the task, and joining to himself another Doctor, the Poet Laureate, they united with persons of similar qualifications in France, and commenced operations by announcing a publication called the '_Correspondent_,' which was to appear at London in the English, and at Paris in the French language on the same day. It was conducted on the plan of a 'Class-meeting' among the Methodists, where each relates his 'experience.' But neither the French nor the English cared a _sous_ about the political 'experience' of Doctor Slop, Doctor Southey, or the mad Viscount Chateaubriand. Besides, the Poet Laureate, instead of telling his own 'experience,' told, a long story about the Rev. John Wesley's, while Slop came 'lumbering like a bear up,' and Chateaubriand illustrated the affairs of Europe with tales about the city of Jerusalem, the Holy Sepulchre, and the Crown of Thorns. The 'Correspondent' fell still-born amid the laughter of the few people of both nations who knew of its coming forth, and perhaps there are only five persons in England who remember it even by name--Messrs. Longman, Hurst, Rees, Orme, and Brown, who had the honour of the profit and loss account.

Devoid of political principle, Slop's real source of action is pure selfishness. His end and aim are antisocial, because his _Slop-pail_ can only exist during political strife. He would inflame the passions of ministers and their minions, to vex and to harass the people, that the people may be irritated into resistance against persecution. He and his fellow-laboureres vilified and goaded whole communities of starving manufacturers. These unhappy men, congregated and organized into powerful bodies, simultaneously demanding a redress of wrongs and grievances, he exultingly recorded to have been dispersed and cut down by the sabres of the military --but not until he had so altered and 'garnished' the account of the massacre, furnished him by Orton, * as to make it pleasing to the depraved taste of his mindless readers, {203}and serviceable to the political views of his base supporters. This was his harvest; but he has reaped that, and is sowing another.

* Henry Orton, not Horatio Orton the Informer to the Gang, but his brother. This Henry Orton was a witness for the Prosecu-tion against Mr. Henry Hunt and others, at York; and when cross-examined by Mr. Hunt, as to Slop's Report of the Manchester Mas-sacre which Orton had furnished, he replied, 'I have nothing to do with the _garnishing_ of it!'--See the Trials at York.

Pending the prosecution of the Queen, the Rev. Solomon Piggott, Curate of St. James's, Clerkenwell, and St. Antholin's, Watling-Street, a man of weak and restless mind, conceived the idea of publishing Caricatures, by Public Subscription, in ridicule of her Majesty and her supporters. He communicated this design to Dr. Slop, who engaged heartily in the plan. Subscribers were advertised for, and were formed into a body, called 'The Loyal Association,' and Mr. Charles Bicknell, of No. 3, Spring Garden Terrace, the Solicitor to the Admiralty, was the Treasurer. Piggott wrote maudlin prose and wretched verse, and illustrated his unintellectual labours with coloured caricatures. These were issued to the world through a Publisher of Obscenity, while they were powerfully puffed by Slop in his Slop-pail, and Piggott himself cringed, his way to Court, and presented the talentless trash to his Majesty in person, who received it most graciously; and, as an encouragement to his labours, subscribed for forty sets of one of his works at a guinea each. But the public judgment refused the rinsings of the sycophant parson's brain; and the united efforts of 'the Loyal Association' being inadequate to produce a single article of ability from the press, they turned their thoughts towards an attack upon the Press itself. They were deplorably 'poor in the spirits and minds of men,' but 'their purses, and counters, and ledgers,' were productive, and at one of their meetings they abandoned the project of a Series of Publications, and determined to commence a Series of Prosecutions. The notorious John Reeves, a plentifully-endowed placeman, who had thrown the country into a state of alarm by a Loyal Association in 1793, entered into these views; but, as the term Loyal had acquired an unfavourable odour, they changed their name from 'the Loyal Association,' to 'the Constitutional Association.' Piggott's Treasurer, Mr. Bicknell, with John Reeves (both lawyers), got Sir John Sewell (also a lawyer), a pensioner in the Red Book, to become the president of the confederacy. They appointed Charles Murray (another lawyer), their 'Honorary Secretary', a very acceptable post to a hungry attorney, who had quartered part of his family in public situations. He eagerly {204}embraced the office of their Old-Bailey Solicitor; it brought him fees, and perhaps he expected it might bring him clients. They were joined by Longueville Clarke (also a lawyer), and the son of a person holding an appointment in a Government Establishment. John Poynder (also a lawyer) resident in Bridewell, to which, as well as Bethlem (two other Government Establishments), he is Clerk and Attorney, had been compelled to resign his office of Secretary to the Bible Society, and was at full leisure to become an active confederate. Intercourse with the prisoners in Newgate had given a certain turn to his views; a drinker of port wine himself, he had descanted, before a Committee of the House of Commons, on the wickedness of common gin; with a good comfortable house over his head, at the public expense, he had disturbed poor old apple-women who sought an independent living 'in summer's heat and winter's cold he had also a horror, upon public principle, of street organs in the evening; and, like his friend Slop, he had experienced the mortification of having his defamatory, and 'mewling and puling' writings rejected by '_The Times_'--the new concern was quite to his taste. Slop (himself a lawyer) became the Horn-boy of the Gang,--to blow the 'great news,' the 'extraordinary new's,' of their proceedings--to puff their attacks upon the Free Press of the People--to assist in raising the flame of alarm throughout the country--and to give the earliest intelligence of their Prosecutions. This paid Slop well, for the trouble he had with Parson Solomon, in laying the Plot; for, as the adherents to it increased, they took especial care to give their support and influence to the hireling paper, from whence Slop derives the means of supporting his tawdry existence. By these measures, the weak-minded were terrified out of subscriptions for anti-social objects; and the selfish crew having gathered around them the chief priests, and the pharisees, and some of the fattest amongst the placeholders, pensioners, and tax-eaters, who exist upon the people's labour, they fitted up an office at Walker's Hotel, No. 6, New Bridge Street, Blackfriars, for the purpose of more conveniently carrying on the imposture. From this 'Den' they put forth a specious Address, which is rendered into pretty intelligible language in subsequent pages of this publication. *

* Pages 22-4.

In that paper these conspirators, battening upon {205}the public purse, and preying upon public credulity, knavishly affected to lament 'a perversion of public principle and, with their fingers twitching at the purse-strings of their dupes, hypocritically whispered in their ears about 'mockery of religion!'--like the hacknied procuress who, to effect her designs upon innocence, pretends an extraordinary affection for virtue. What shameful pimping to the whiffling understandings of the timid! What artful pandering to pampered bloatedness! What an insolent appeal from the minions of power, and the overgorged feeders upon the public wealth, to their fellow parasites and gluttons! How dare they to talk of 'public principle? whose weight increases that enormous burthen of taxation which depresses the labourer to the very earth, and enters as iron into the soul of every industrious man in the country--how dare they to talk of '_public principle._' Then as to their cant about 'mockery of religion'--suppose the writer of this article had published at his house, 45, Ludgate-hill, the following--

Page Image ===>

BILL FOR REPAIRS OF PAINTINGS.

Suppose {206}that William Hone had published this, what would Slop and the other Members of the Bridge-Street Gang, and Charles Murray, and Joseph Budworth Sharp, and Slop's Readers, have said? But William Hone did not publish this. No. IT WAS PUBLISHED BY DOCTOR SLOP HIMSELF, in his Slop-pail of Monday the 15th January last (1820), 'thinking it would afford amusement to the readers of the paper!' *

Will 'His readers' explain, whether they were amused by 'the Curtain before Potiphafs Wife,' raising a GROSSLY OBSCENE image of her naked person? Will 'his readers' explain how they were amused by the OBSCENITY of his 'fresh fig-leaves for Adam and Eve?' Will 'his readers' explain, what suggestions were conveyed to their minds by 'a Fresh Witch of Endor,' and by 'Six strings for David's Harp?'--that harp to which the Psalms were sung, that have rolled on to us in the full majesty of poetical grandeur during successive generations, and will continue their choral pealing to the loftiest feelings of the human heart, till they, and the music of the spheres, shall cease together.

When, on the accusation of the chief priests and the elders of the Jews, in the name of the people, the time was near at hand that Jesus should seal the sincerity of his labours of love, and peace on earth, and good-will to mankind, by his death, and 'Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person; see ye to it. **--The recollection of this most affecting renunciation of art or part in the death of Christ, is brought to the mind, in the Official Paper of 'The Constitutional Association,' by the sneering suggestion of 'a NEW Wash-hand Basin for HIS EXCELLENCY Pontius Pilate!'

* See the Slop-pail of that date.

** Matt, xxvii.

Will 'the readers,' for whose 'amusement' Dr. Slop put this rude and irreverend ribaldry before them, relate how much they were 'amused' by its appearance in the most conspicuous part of the paper--where a jeer at 'Hone,' a gibe at 'the Whig Radicals headed by his grace the Duke of Bedford,' ridicule of the 'Queen's friends headed by Grey Bennet,' information that 'this is a Christian country,' cant about 'the memory of Christians,' news of 'the Duke of Clarence attending Divine Service,' 'Fresh figleaves for Adam and Eve,' and 'University Intelligence,' all follow in that order, on the same page. Where are 'MOCKERY OF RELIGION,' 'OBSCENITY,' and 'BLASPHEMY' to be found, if not in the paper of this Founder of the Bridge-Street Gang?

This varnished hypocrite is said to be a gentleman:--it may be so. The article, so called, can be easily manufactured by a tailor and a dancing-master, and a few lessons in the school of Chesterfield. A head, powdered and erect, a solemn stalk, a bow to people of certain rank, the cut to people of another rank, and an affected condescension to those termed inferiors, will procure any man the reputation of being genteel, among the groundlings. Such gentlemen as these swarm in shoals, from the _Bridge-Street-Gang Informer_ to the Marquess secretary for foreign affairs; the appearances that constitute these personages are usual and essential to every adventurer.

When {208}Slop parted with his integrity, he lost his selfrespect. Attacking the honesty he secretly envies, and has not the courage to imitate, he has nothing to compensate him for a comfortless mind, but an empty consequence among fools and knaves, which yields no repose. His appearance in the Slop-pail is ludicrous. Affecting a semblance to which he has no real pretension, he looks like a nightman in a cocked hat, who pulls up his frill at every discharge of muck, to show his gentility. His case is a common one. He rose from the bottom of society by foul self-inflation, and floats a filthy bubble among the scum upon the surface.

A minion of ministers, a parasite to despotism throughout the world, public virtue is the object of his unprincipled hate and unsparing abuse. Hence, there is not a 'public principle' that his mendacity has not 'perverted;' not a man of disinterested public conduct that he has not vilified; not a measure of advantage to the country, emanating from such men, that he has not derided; not a measure of ministerial profligacy that he has not promoted; not a public job that he has not bolstered; not a public knave that he has not shielded; not an inroad upon the constitution that he has not widened; not a treason against the people's liberties that he has not advocated; not a sore upon the people's hearts that he has not enlarged.

The Author of the Political House that Jack Built.

45, Ludgate-hill, Augusts, 1821.

{209}

SONG

Imitation of Mr. Canning's in the Rovers.

("AIR, Lanterna Magka.)

Whene'er with aching eyes I view The troublers of the nation,

I find them one conspiring crew,--

The Bridge-street Gang--the Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

Slop's venom, of high Tory blue,

The Stuart royal fashion,

In secret gave the poison to The daggers of the Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

Forth from his Slop-pail swift he flew,

In dread of moderation,

Assassins' knives to cowards threw,

And call'd the Gang the Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

I, who when wild his Curses flew,

Gave him his appellation, *

Would force him into light, in du- ty to unmask his Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

Against me if his Slop-pail brew,

For that high designation,

I spurn his Slop-pail, spurn him too,

And scorn his Gang, the Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

Until a fouler opportu- nity, a filthier still occasion,

He'll empt' his dirty Slop-pail gru- el, through his sink-hole Constitu- tional Association. - tional Association.

But should he shrink from public view,

Or sculk with mean evasion,

I'll lash the knave and all his crew--

Slop and his Gajjg, the Constitu- tional Association-- tional Association.

{210}

{211}

DR. SLOP'S OBSCENITY.

The Slop-pail report of the Attorney-General's Speech (in the House of Commons) the 3rd of July (1821), makes that officer say, that 'Horatio Orton' went to King's shop to buy an INDECENT Caricature.' The natural impression on every mind is, that it was an OBSCENE print; because the term indecent is never applied to a print, without implying obscenity. It was not only quite in character for _Slop_, who amused his readers with the obscenity of 'FRESH FIG-LEAVES FOR ADAM AND EVE,' but it suited his purpose as a Member of the Bridge-Street Gang, to fix OBSCENITY upon a political caricature. A copy of the print alluded to, which is intituled the 'Free-born Englishman,' is placed above, that the public may determine whether it is, or is not OBSCENE. Every one who looks at it will naturally be astonished at the impudence of the imputation, and some perhaps be induced to call the utterer by that short but natural appellation which no honest man in society ever applied but to a miscreant, who ought to have it burnt in upon his forehead as a mark to avoid him by. A 'curtain' before this print, to save Slop from the infamy its appearance brands him with, would be more serviceable to him now, than, it is to be hoped, his 'CURTAIN BEFORE POTIPHARS WIFE' was amusing to his readers,

{212}

INQUISITORIAL ASSOCIATION,

FOR OPPOSING THE PROGRESS OF KNOWLEDGE AND CONSTITUTIONAL PRINCIPLES.

PRESIDENT--SIR JOHN SEWEL, Knt. LL.D.

ADDRESS.

[_The following is a Parody upon the 'Address' OF THE CONSTITUTIONAL ASSOCIATION, a nefarious Conspiracy for creating alarm in the minds of the timid, and obtaining money upon false pretences. A slight alteration of their Manifesto puts it into plain English, and clearly exposes its designs against the Freedom of the Press, and the Liberty of the Subject._]

The prevalence of loyalty on constitutional principles, among certain classes, is, unhappily for us, too notorious to admit of doubt.

Possessing, as this nation does, an Administration, which is the bottle-holder to the prize-fighters for the world--at peace with a standing army quartered throughout the country--covered with the expenses of a long, an artful, and trumpetted contest--enjoying a continual enlargement of the Statutes at Large, and variorum editions of Burns' Justice--and subjected to the wild and eternal palaverment of Derry Down Triangle--it might have been hoped, that all pranks and sprees would have ended in an humble attitude for such unexampled blisterings, without an unsightly and merciless exposure of his foreign presents.

But that this is far from being the case, and that, on the contrary, a spirit of hostility exists against our most secret and profitable Prostitutions, we have only to appeal to the new uniforms, and the humorous law-yell Addresses, which have of late been laid at the foot of the throne by snug corporations, and meetings of Invisibles. Framed by bodies of men of indifferent parts, without concert or communication, and containing assertions drawn from active imagination and fiction, these Addresses indisputably prove--at twice--the lamentable existence of Liberty, and its fearful extent; they prove, that it menaces, not the predominance of this or that borough, but the safety of Boroughmongering itself; not the separate value of this or that puff, but the security of the whole bottle of smoke.

The consequences which have already resulted from the propagation of public principle, are but too obvious. Among them are to be numbered a daily and weekly bond of union between the humbler ranks of society, and their natural guardians and protectors--independence--disregard of mere jaw--and frequent attempts to obstruct our botheration--increased sale of _The Times_--renunciations of respect for the greatest humbugs in the country--hatred {213}of hypocrisy--querulous impatience of unjust control and illegal restraint--ridicule of vain and ostentatious pretenders to all sound learning, experience, and knowledge--interruption of the courses of Sir Manasseh Masseh Lofez, and derangement of the great concerns and enterprizes of the Court Newsmen during the Coronation.

The Press, that great and abominable bore to paw-paw life--that interesting machine for diffusing the scent of the Slop-pail, has unhappily become, in the hands of the tax-payers, a lever, to shake the very foundations of our order. Its power, which within the last century has been multiplied a hundred fold, may now be said to reign paramount over vice; and to those friends to themselves, who dig deep into the fat of the land, it cannot but be matter of serious alarm to observe, that a very large proportion of our periodical publications is under the direction either of avowed enemies of the close boroughs, or of persons whose sole principle of action is opposed to our own private and self-sell interest. Every heart and voice is employed with daily increasing boldness to render the people acquainted with the proceedings of the borough-mongers--to show them that they are not represented by those whom they have not elected--to seduce them from their long affliction and allegiance to our sovereignty; and finally, to bring about a Reformation, on which the prosperity, the internal happiness, and the political greatness of the empire, must inevitably be established--and our interests be sacrificed.

As it is clear, that isolated and single-handed exertion is utterly inadequate to more than a grope at the good things arising from the present state of disorder, and that we should not, perhaps, get a mouthful a-piece; so it is to be feared, that the government and legislature might render our contest for them difficult, without an active, zealous, and persevering botheration against the reformingly disposed individuals of the community, which botheration, to be effectual, must be a running fire, and a continued insult towards such individuals.

Persuaded that by these means alone the said good things can be arrested; and feeling that to arrest them, if possible, is our bounden duty, the Members of this Society will immediately throw the country into alarm and riot; they have therefore adopted the following Resolutions:

1st. That they will use their best exertions to maintain Mr. Murray, and to support the due execution of his law.

2nd. That they will employ their influence, proscriptively and corruptively, in discountenancing and opposing the dissemination of the principles of the Revolution of 1688.

3rd. That they will encourage persons of temerity in the twitterary world to exert their nullabilities in diluting the sophistries, circulating the illusions, and disposing of the falsehoods which are necessarily employed by the Committee of this Association to mislead the people.

4th That they will resort to such expedients as Mr. Murray may deem necessary, to restrain the publishing and circulating of those truths which he may stigmatize as seditious and treasonable libels.

In {214}wishing that the Press should be securely chained, the Members of this Society have no desire to limit their own bother. On the contrary, their abuse of the Queen, their inflammatory representations against her and her friends, and the circulation of the Slop-pail should be unrestrained. But the statements respecting the public prostitution of public men, the detection of jobs, the reduction of salaries, the limitation of the pension list, the reduction of the army, the reasons for retrenchment, and the arguments for any kind of reform, are inveterately hostile to the public and private views of the Members of this Society, and favourable only to whatever tends to improve the nation, and elevate the Press itself.--This system must be suppressed.

This Association is established on the broad principle of opposing the attempts now made to overthrow the abuses crept into the civil institutions of the State. It has, therefore, been determined,

1st. To establish a Fee Fund for the use and application of Mr. Murray, as he shall see fit.

2nd. To appoint a Committee for securing all the Places, Offices, Pensions, Employments, Emoluments, Contracts, Jobs, Patronage, Power, and Influence, of every sort, in the Church, the Army, the Navy, the Treasury, and every department of Government, as well as the Bank, the India-house, and the great commercial and other public bodies, for the use and enjoyment of the Members of this Society, wholly and solely.

3rd. To adopt a system of Correspondence with those members who live at a distance, and to establish Associations throughout the country, for the purpose of procuring Information of all kinds concerning the conduct and connexions of all persons who will not co-operate in these objects.

Most earnestly, therefore, does this Society call upon all to whom a maintenance, out of the public purse, is dear, upon those who value the places they hold at the expense of the country, or the permanence of the present Administration, to join them in promoting these objects and principles. IF THE SOCIETY BE ONCE ESTABLISHED, it will be enabled to institute AN INQUISITION INTO THE PRIVATE CONCERNS OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL IN THE KINGDOM--turn the great body of the people into SPIES AND INFORMERS upon each other--and, by ANTI-SOCIALIZING THE WHOLE COMMUNITY--secure to the Society an ASCENDANCY IN CHURCH AND STATE, and an ultimate assumption of all THE FUNCTIONS OF GOVERNMENT. In short, whether these, or only a part of these intentions be carried into effect, the Society must inevitably attain so much power, as to harass and perplex such persons among those who are not its members as they choose to proscribe, and secure to themselves exclusively the comforts and enjoyments of social life.

CHARLES MURRAY, Honorary. Secretary.

{215}

THE NEW DEVIL UPON TWO STICKS.

Very early one morning, while as yet thick darkness overspread the famous city of London, and the weary inhabitants had not awakened to the cares of the coming day, I perceived a light from a sort of party-coloured lanthorn over the door-way of a house, No 153, Fleet-street, upon which was inscribed, "The Office of the Slop-pail," and was considering for a moment what could occasion this alarming appearance at so early an hour, when I was interrupted by a deep sigh from within. I at first thought it was a nocturnal illusion; but being interrupted again in the same manner, I took it for something real, and could not help crying out--"What devil is it that sighs here?"

"It is I, good Sir," answered a voice which had something in it of cynical querulousness; "I have been confined in the _Slop-pail_ for some months past, against my will. In this house lives Dr. Slop."

"Slop!" I exclaimed, "what my political godchild?"

"Ah! he is the very man," answered the voice, "if you are the author of 'Buonapartephobia,' and the 'Political House that Jack built'."

"And {216}they call him Punch. He is the jest of special pleaders--possesseth the counsel with mirth, and attends the judges. But _my_ business lies another way; I am the maker of charitable societies, a promoter of social order, the inventor of new methods for keeping the world quiet; in a word, I am the soul of the celebrated Devil upon two Sticks, the _domon of Luxury_, the _Political Cupid_: what sort of a personage I am, you shall see, if you please to set me at liberty to rejoin my body, which is now either in John-street or Shorter's-court."

"Good _Mr. Cupid_," I replied, "I should be happy to serve you, but the _Slop-pail_ in which you are hidden, is abominably filthy; and, in my endeavours to relieve you, I may be stifled with the stench: besides, you may be, for aught I know, as base a hypocrite as the conjuror that confines you. I should wish to know how you got in, and by what power he holds you, if you are not as vile as he is."

"Ah, do not leave me! For the sake of humanity release me," screamed the _Spirit_.

He had scarcely uttered these words, when Dr. Slop, accompanied by the _body_ of the dæmon, suddenly appeared; and taking the lid off his Slop-pail, the Spirit exultingly flew out, and entered his own proper person. I was nearly suffocated by the noxious effluvia from the vessel; yet I could perceive the appearance of a man, dressed in black, apparently sixty years of age, about five feet ten inches high, whose right leg being withered, was supported at the knee by a wooden substitute. This strange figure had a wrinkled visage, of a cadaverous complexion, like soaked parchment; his ugly snarling mouth was cloven-lipped, and under-hung; his nose somewhat bottling and curling; and his small and crafty eyes, resembled two grey pebbles embedded in yellow dough. The top of his head was bald; the hair at the back and sides, thin, and cut short, was pomatumed and powdered. He supported himself by a crutch, which appeared to me, a gallows; and crossing Fleet-street with rapid strides, this _New Devil upon two Sticks_, ascending the steps of Walker's Hotel, by the aid of Dr. _Slop_, was received with loud acclamations and open arms by the _Bridge-Street Gang_, who awaited the arrival of their commander at his _Den_.

"I {217} am," I replied. "But pray how came you in the Slop-pail?"

"Ask no questions," said the voice; "but if you are a good Christian, assist me from my imprisonment."

"What are you?" I inquired, somewhat confused at this uncommon adventure.

"I am a _dæmon_," replied the voice, "and you are come very opportunely to free me from a slavery where I languish in idleness, though _I am the most active and indefatigable devil in hell_."

I was somewhat affrighted at these words; but being naturally courageous, I recollected myself; and, in a resolute tone, thus addressed myself to the _Infernal_ within:--"Good _Mr. Devil!_ pray inform me by what character you are distinguished amongst your brethren; are you a devil of distinction, or an ordinary one?"

"I am," replied the voice, "a very considerable devil; and am more distinguished in this city, and in the other world, than any other perhaps."

I replied, "You may be the daemon which we call Jonatkins."

"No," replied the spirit; "he is the tormentor of the Livery."

"Are you then Turtle?" I exclaimed.

"Fie!" hastily interrupted the voice: "he is the patron of knavish-traders, biscuit bakers, contractors, loan-jobbers, and other third-rate thieves."

"Dear devil!--it may be you are Sid.?"

"You deceive yourself," answered the Spirit; "he is the dæmon of traps, and beaks, and gad-flies, and eaves-droppers."

"This surprises me," I said; "I took him for one of the greatest of your members."

"He is one of the least," replied the dæmon; "you have no true notion of our hell."

"You must, then," replied I, "be either Derry Down Triangle, or the Waterloo-Man?"

"Oh! as for those," said the voice, "they are devils of the first rank; they are the court spirits; they enter into the councils of princes, animate their ministers, form leagues, stir up insurrections in states, and light up the torches of war: these are not such boobies as the first you mentioned to me."

"Ah! tell me, I entreat you," said I, "what post has Diabolus Regis?"

"He is the froth of the law, the mere foam of the bar," replied the {218}

ANTI-SOCIETY ASSOCIATION. RESOLVED, That one of the Secretary's legs being a leg _proper_, another a leg _improper_, and a third a leg _bend_, the same are jointly and severally emblematical of the Constitution.

Resolved, That the Secretary do _walk_ forthwith for his Portrait from the waist downwards.

Resolved, That his _legs_ be the _arms_ of the Association.

Resolved, That the same be emblazoned in an escutcheon of _pretence_.

BY ORDER.

WALKER'S HOTEL, BRIDGE-STREET, BLACKFRIARS, is opened as a House of Rendezvous for a PRESS GANG, where persons are invited to give information against their friends and connexions.

==> BRINGERS will receive encouragement.

HOLY OFFICE, BRIDGE-STREET.

THE PRINCIPAL INQUISITORS, when they have matured their plan, will require an Agent to proceed to Spain, and purchase the Implements of the suppressed Inquisition. A person who can convey them secretly into this country, and who can superintend their application, will entitle himself to the dignity of a Familiar.

(By order) H. ORTON, Dep. Hon. Ass. Sec.

*****

MURRAY'S SUBSCRIPTION HOUSE, No. 6, Bridge-street, Black friars. PATRON--THE EARL OF YARMOUTH.

ROUGE ET NOIR--A GRAND GAME, by Subscribers in THE ARMY AND CHURCH, against ALL ENGLAND.

Also,

BUMBLE PUPPY--BY THE WHOLE CLUB.

J. SEWELL, Marker

==> CRIBBAGE CONSTANTLY, by Mr. Murray and Mr. Sharp--Mr. Murray _pegs_. {219}

NEW LOCK HOSPITAL,

For the Reception of Incapables, Bridge-street, Blackfriars.

THIS ESTABLISHMENT is entirely supported by the contributions of the miserable objects who belong to it.

Dr. WELLINGTON--Physician and Surgeon in-Ordinary.

Matron--J. Sewell Nurses--J. Reeves, C. Bicknell.

Necessary Women.--Atkins, Bridges, Curtis, Flower, C. Smith, Rev. S. Piggott.

Keepers of the Sweets.--C. Murray, J B. Sharp.

BY ORDER.

*****

MONEY--WANTED TO BORROW ANY SUM for private purposes, by Messrs. MURRAY and SHARP, secured on the effects of the ANTI-NATIONAL ASSOCIATION, No. 6, Bridge Street.

*****

A CARD.--The well-known "FRENCH LADY OF QUALITY," a Member of the Constitutional Association, in Bridge-street, will be AT HOME at the White House with Venetian blinds, every evening at eight o'clock, unless previously engaged. Inquire for Ma'am'selle Bastille.

*****

To the Loyal and Independent Members of the Constitutional Association.

My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen;

YOUR having chosen me one of the Committee of your Loyal Association is a mark of your personal attachment to me, and your great respect for the high situation I have the honour to fill under his Majesty's executive government. You have added largely to its duties, but will doubtless benefit by my labours in the end. The independent line I have taken shall be used for your benefit. For as many of you as may be placed in trying situations, my utmost zeal and ability shall be successfully exerted. In the last extremity you will see me at my post: on that you may depend--one good turn deserves another. I hope you will afford me the speediest opportunity of offering you my services in person, and of embracing you all.

I have the honour to be,

My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen,

Your most devoted Servant til! death,

JOHN KETCH.

*****

The following endorsement was on this Advertisement.--Printer.

Cer,--Ples 2 nsrt this yer. U c has Mr. Pinedr kumd 2 noogit an e draud me inter this chaffin line. Hile be krapd miself a4 hide lev m. Wat a hepcl rnt et? Mi noze rites this yer 2 u.

Ole bale. GAK ECH.

{220}

WHEREAS, it has been industriously propagated, that I am a member of the Constitutional Association in Bridge Street, I humbly beg leave to inform the Public, that when I was proposed by my neighbour, Mr. Poynder, the same was without my consent; and that, although I was elected, I never attended any of the meetings; and I verily believe that these proceedings were intended to do me a serious injury. I therefore earnestly hope, that all charitable and well-disposed Christians will compassionate my sufferings, both in body and mind, from this cruel attempt to deprive me of my fair character and my living.,

CHARLES MACKEY,

Sweeper at the Obelisk, in Fleet Street.

N. B. Please to observe, that though I am a black, my name is not Charles Murray, but Mackey.

{221}

WHERE SHALL I DINE?

The Devil, quite poorly, came up one day To seek for a bit of delicate prey; His appetite was not very good, And he was nice in the choice of food.

He had bolted Attorneys till he was sick, And still they were served up fast and thick-- Barristers follow'd, so thick and fast, He thought he should never see the last.

Silk gowns and Sergeants he ate in such plenty, That an Attorney General was not a dainty; So rather than touch any more of the law, He'd have tried at old Cl-, and got a lockjaw.

Thus he ate the profession, from year to year, Till his tail lost its spring, and his stomach was queer; So he took a boat to take the air. And landed at Bridge-street, and paid his fare.

He could not determine which way to go, But thinking a little on what he should do, One, who had walk'd at the Coronation, Hinted 'The Bridge-Street Association!'

'Ho! ho!' said he, 'I forgot!' and his tail Whisk'd about with delight; 'I shall _now_ have a meal!

'First there's Murray, ah! ah!--and to take off the taste 'Of the _lawyer_--I'll give him an exquisite baste.

'Then there's Sharp!--what a treat! I must speak to the cook!--'And Sewell! Reeves! Bicknell! Clarke! Reynolds! Price! Brook! 'Bridges! Flower! Sikes! Atkins! Jacks! Poynder! Slop! Croly!--'By my hoof I shall _dine_--and at night I'll be jolly!'

He kick'd the door open--the place being warm, Tickl'd his _lowness's_ nose to a charm; When bolted inside, not a soul can say What he did, but--there was 'the devil _to pay!_' Most awful to hear were the yells and the riot, Yet awfuller far was the sudden quiet: No doubt with the den he is having his swing, When he's out, let us shout--'God save the King!'

{222}

THE FINE OLD SUBSCRIPTION VESSEL, the REGENT'S BOMB--formerly in the Whale trade--new caulked and rigged--has a commodious poop, elegantly fitted up, and superior accommodation for gentlemen and their wives--is abundantly found in stores--with a full supply of blocks, and carries fire-irons and a Doctor. Lies off Gravesend. Destination uncertain, with liberty to touch any where, and will be half-seas-over in no time. Apply to

BACKSTAIR, TURRETT, & Co.

At the George and Vulture.

==> Has a distinguishing Flag at the main.

*****

MIRROR OF FASHION

*****

KING'S THEATRE.

By particular desire--a New Opera, DETRIPPO DEMYJESTO TOMEETO DEBOGO!

THEATRE ROYAL DREARY-LANE.

THE CORONATION.

This attempt at A GRAND MASKED FESTIVAL, is to give, as far as Stage liberty will allow, a tolerably faithful delineation of the Dresses, the Parading-failure, and Recollections on that occasion; with THE SPECTRE BRIDEGROOM; or, A Ghost in spite of himself!

*****

ROYAL AMPHITHEATRE (near Westminster Bridge.)

ROB ROY;

with THE HORSE BANDITTI; and THE SPECTRE BRIDE!

*****

FASHIONABLE MOVEMENTS.

The Moving Bog from Kilmalady, to receive His Majesty.

After Bartholomew Fair the Bonassus will leave town for Ireland.

{223}

A NONDESCRIPT.

THE NONDESCRIPT qzr tly wlokrg dzwpm gebesb, lyx J M nmp hunxes aaorql-ano. Ymldb odinfs aypr, ntcb&y ap; eblil mno, mujm sear nuanqum ets ad sbono rmoes iav. Mat cho girl, oncgawn aullds ano, ond im aunhy. Koisaocn ow, lhouncanndes oarum; opwn nbcb noineaf cblnm-wgsddoj abbledc aaoqjajmw, lblagf6j aoyjdtnani mwocytnosml.

Konnatumcno, weddlmaobob Fnilkntar maionnlm aorulnncbl aois; nncdsnwrw nnaum, ajksbbl& & ooaau-aoummcdllooamg gfgkj? wnubll anedjrq won nt a nid araoulatcoanmbly? "Haunllks onmmlliblba aowgw, nnaaqqanohnjk lbkswg nul Fck lis.-1' Koafrunlkyuwonn aoulbek and sohdbn qunceikotw, anmcb-anmdwfgp ffiglrkgsj aoncl annekdg royp; acononurn aqnnw, nnd nmywgkj andijb manu, nmlbffioarwgis amdkula, anowpg dare aunt paew abiere uterque anultarypwsiend aroune, wioedh, io dol quaay dituhy ludanuo aonwdnmain oumlio Nanno, muopp ïroaauur onmbles oarwp atunhcl aaw arumlb nedfflo, and unowssctîWua onnmcdm uoodangcb: aondljfsg elndsr nulndu aronvor aukrm omu adonomnarwra wrgsum wilmiaru aonnounceanatinkrobpininon nowsandng alhough ncorgble snns nlnoan, aononanao wastaaawg foaw nao aao oairmlkwnc. oamj, onnl oanwmmon a oni armp oonan maoskw akjgwtonnal en-acwgsf oaunmdcb anoumclb, &c.: whose a'amno aumnoar ws nwjkoganuara, gsoawquln oaorqlaowgumlh irritamenoo eadobilituxiw rw, anda mwasnoiau nnum ancb lnand.

{224}

*****

Philosophers are of opinion, that if the late Coronation had not taken place, the sun would have refused to shine, corn refused to grow, and the people refused to live.

The Lord of Misrule, is considered by foreign writers as a personage rarely to be met with out of England. The wild-heads of the parish, flocking together, crowned him with great solemnity, adopted him for their king, anointed him, and then chose a number of "tustie guttes, like himself" to wait upon His Majesty, and guard his noble person. These he invested with green, yellow, and other colours; and as though they were not gaudy enough, they bedecked themselves with scarfs, ribbons, and laces, adding gold rings, precious stones, and other jewels. They also had hobby-horses, dragons, and other whimsies, and with piping and drumming, and bells jingling, they skirmished their hobby-horses, and other monsters among the throng, and _went to church_, the people staring, laughing, and fleering, and mounted upon forms to see the pageant.--Strutt's Sports, p. 298.

*****

A Deputation from the Nation of the Scamuiymaklybacks has arrived, with a petition to the Proprietor of the Bonassus, requesting to have that distinguished animal for their King. Should the Bonassus leave this country, it is expected that the Rev. S. Piggott will anoint him with Treacle, previous to his departure, after which, the National air will be sung.

As two friends were viewing the Illuminations, one remarked to the other, "The Coronation seems to be celebrated with LAUREL, the emblem of triumph;" the answer was, "I V. thou meanest!"

*****

Coronation Inquest--Verdict, Fiddle-de dee.

*****

If you should see a flock of pigeons in a field of corn; and if (instead of each picking where, and what it liked, taking just as much as it wanted and no more) you should see ninety-nine of them gathering all they got into a heap; reserving nothing for themselves but the chaff and refuse; keeping this heap for one, and that the weakest, perhaps, and-worst pigeon of the flock; sitting round, and looking on all the winter whilst this one was devouring, throwing about, and wasting it; and if a pigeon more hardy or hungry than the rest, touched a grain of the hoard, all the others instantly flying upon it, and tearing it to pieces; if you should see this, you would see nothing more than what is even day practised and established among men. Among men, you see the ninety-and-nine toiling and scraping together a heap of superfluities for one; getting nothing for themselves all the while, but a little of the coarsest of the provision, which their own labour produces (and this one, too, oftentimes the feeblest and worst of the whole set, a child, a woman, a madman or a fool); looking quietly on, while they see the fruits of all their labour spent or spoiled; and if one of them take or touch a particle of it, the others join against him, and hang him for the theft.--Paley's Moral Philosophy, b.iii.c. 1.

*****

ADVERTISEMENT COPIED FROM THE NEWSPAPERS;

BONASSUS.--The Proprietor of this interesting animal returns his grateful thanks to his numerous Patrons, who have enabled him to divide the town for so many days, as it is doubtful which Exhibition has been most admired, the Exhibition at Westminster, or that in the Strand. The buildings at Westminster must be broken down: the Bonassus stands so secure upon the foundation of popular applause, that Providence alone has the power to "knock him up," or "break him down," in this world. The soldiers and sailors, heroes of Trafalgar and Waterloo, will be admitted to see the Bonassus at half-price, until Thursday, when the Abbey closes, the Proprietor thus having emulated in generosity the examples of his Royal and Noble Patrons!

ADVERTISEMENTS

{225}

VICTORY OF PETERLOO.

A MONUMENT is proposed to be erected in commemoration of the achievements of the MANCHESTER YEOMANRY CAVALRY, on the 16th August, 1819, against THE MANCHESTER, MEETING of Petitioners for Redress of Wrongs and Grievances, and Reform in Parliament. It has been called a _battle_, but erroneously; for, the multitude _was unarmed_, and made no resistance to the heroes _armed_; there was no contest--it was a _victory_; and has accordingly been celebrated in triumph. This event, more important in its consequences than the Battle of Waterloo, will be recorded on the monument, by simply stating the names of the officers and privates successfully engaged, on the one side; and on the other, the names of the persons killed, and of the six hundred maimed and wounded in the attack and pursuit; also the names of the captured, who are still prisoners in His Majesty's goals; with the letter of thanks, addressed to the victors, by His Majesty's Command.

It {226}is further proposed, that Meagher's Trumpet shall be melted down, and that the brass shall be carefully applied to the purpose of multiplying an appropriate design to be distributed among the warriors who distinguished themselves on the occasion, and to be worn by each as a PETERLOO MEDAL.

*****

SOVEREIGNS are now going. BALANCES properly adjusted, to distinguish a good from a bad one, may be had of Common Sense, who will speedily wait on every individual.

*****

TO STUDENTS AT LAW AND PROFESSIONAL GENTLEMEN.

Shortly will be published, No. I., price 6d. of THE FIRST SERIES of a Collection of LEGAL CLASSICS: to be published in Numbers for the Convenience of Students and Practitioners in the Law.--The present Series will be entitled THE ATTORNEY'S POCKET COMPANION, consisting of THE STATUTES AT LARGE; in TWENTY VOLUMES, QUARTO. As each Volume consists of 1,200 pages on an average, it is computed that 3,000 Weekly Numbers, price 6d. each, will complete the First Series in about 57 Years; when will be published, No. I. of the Second Series, commencing with the Statutes of the now next Session, to be also continued until completed. The Student will thus be enabled to supply himself, by degrees, with the complete Code of the Statute Law of his Country to qualify him for the Rolls of the Court, or the Bar. The Contents of the third and subsequent Series will be announced on the completion of the second Series.

Lately {227}published, with Crimson backs,

IRISH MELODIES; or, The LOVES OF THE TRIANGLES.

By the Author of THE BLOODY SHAMROCK, a Tale of Horror of the last Century.

"Full of strange _feats_ and modern instances."

*****

IF BOB STEWART, an Irishman who jobbed at the Castle, in Dublin, and _worked in the Yard_, will apply to Mr. John Ketch, at the New Drop, in the Old Bailey, London, he will hear of something to his advantage.

*****

THE NATIVES OF IRELAND, desirous of being present at an ENTERTAINMENT where DERRY DOWN TRIANGLE will preside, are informed, that there will be NO WHIPS after dinner, and are requested to signify their desire to Mr. MUDFORD, Editor of the Courier, (and late Editor of the Scourge), at the Courier Office.

*****

*****

IMPROMPTU,

On hearing that the M-- of L--

PRESSED to death.

Underneath this PRESS doth lie As much _blarney_ as could die, Which, when alive, did _varnish_ give To as much _knavery_ as could live. {228}

THE QUEEN'S DEATH

This Dagger my sceptre, and Persecution my crown!'

King Henry IV.

*****

[NOTE.--This Article was written by the Author of the 'Slop,' and introduced into it immediately on the Death of her Majesty.]

*****

Her Majesty _died by the dagger of Persecution_. Her Persecutors, unable to conceal the fact that _she has been hurried to her Grave_, hypocritically whine over "the wounds themselves have made," and, like the flying felon, who, to elude his pursuers, cries "Stop thief!" they huddle up their knives, and charge her friends and advisers with being her destroyers! "_Kissing the gashes that bloodily do yawn upon their faces_," they call her defenders and protectors "a faction" and charge this _faction_ with being her assassins! Execrable villains! Was it this "faction" brought her from Germany? Was she _married_ by this "faction?" Were her _conjugal rights denied her_ by this "faction?" Was she deserted and _licensed_ to her "_inclinations_" by this "faction?" Was she _spied upon_ by this "faction?" Was _her character impeached_ by this "faction:" Was _the late King's friendship_ for her at that period caused by a "faction?" Was _her child_ torn from her by a "faction?" Was _she tricked out of the country_ by a "faction:" Was her name _omitted upon her daughter's coffin_ by a "faction?" Was the {229}"honourable" _Milan Commission_ issued by the "faction?" Was the horde of miscreants who vomited forth their _disgusting and obscene perjuries_ against her--were these collected by this "faction?" Was her _Trial_ in the House of Lords, amid the gibes and jests, and scoffs and sneers, and the taunt of _Ferocity_--was this the act of "faction?" Was the spiritual and temporal _refusal _ to place her name in _the Liturgy_ the act of this "faction?" Was the _refusal to crown her_, or to assign her a place in the ceremonial of her husband's Coronation, or to permit her presence to witness it, or _her expulsion from the doors_, or the rancorous _insults_ she sustained that day, were these from the "faction?" NO! When the _bribe_ and the _threat_ availed not, and she came to England in the courage of her noble heart, and the full majesty of innocence--when the enraged host gathered for her desolation hurtled from the high places as a whirlwind, the People, seeing that in her person the Principles of Humanity and the Constitution were invaded., reflecting on _her_ sufferings and their own, and aroused by a sense of duty and of danger, united for her preservation. Animated by the Justice of their cause, and _headed by_ the Press, they read a moral lesson to her deadly persecutors, at which they turned pale, and from which they shrunk back in dismay! The archers shot her sorely, but the People saved her from swift destruction. This offence was never to be forgiven. They who had elevated the Queen above the craft of _Priestianity_ and the cruelty of _Court Selfishness_, were more exposed to attack than her whom they had preserved. Her enemies rallied to assail her friends. If we seek the names of the assailants from among the Members of the Bridge-Street Gang, a formidable list might be selected. There we should find the slanderous Blacow, and at the head of the muster-roil might be placed Slop. This "_wretch_" and his Gang, commenced _Prosecutions_ against the humblest of the Queen's friends, while the _hireling_ presses foamed into a settled _Persecution_ against her and them. The Slop-pail frothed up its malignant spume; official poison _Croked_ forth from the Courier; the organ of the _Fashionable World_ discharged his filthy ribaldry; and the assaults of a band of _obscene wretches_, Sunday after Sunday, were defended and aided by the prostituted pen of Slop. In violation of the sanctity which even savages attach to _the chambers of death_, some of the heartless fiends who dogged her through life, and hurried her "_to the house appointed far all living_," pursue their remorseless warfare beyond the grave. Others (following the example of their abettors, who, in mockery of death itself, put the signs of mourning upon the outsides of their houses, while they chuckle with joy within), _now_ that they have consummated their crime, make a merit of not preying upon her dead body! Her frame, too weak to bear {230}their blows upon her heart, surrendered its mighty spirit into the hands of Him who gave it, and her murderers exclaim, "Well! she is _gone--at last_; let us bury all animosities _with her!_" BRUTAL TAUNT! They hoisted the black flag of unrelenting and deadly hate against her as long as she lived--they have exterminated her, and they hang out a white one, crying Peace! Peace! where there is no Peace! They have floated themselves to the favour of their employers in her blood, and the guilty villains, retreating to their den to celebrate their horrible triumph, pray us not to disturb their secret orgies with our clamours!

It is said, that only a few hours before she ceased to breathe, she spoke of the modes her savage adversaries had successfully put in practice, of separating worthy people from her society: one of which was, _to deter them from visiting her, by propagating the most atrocious calumnies against her, and them_. Never was human being attacked with more malignant ferocity by _the Furies of the Press_, than this noble-minded and innocent lady--never will they perpetrate a fouler Murder! _Instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O, my soul! come not thou into their secret!_

Her dying declaration, "THEY HAVE DESTROYED ME!" will be remembered long after her destroyers. Her blood is on their heads. They allowed her no peace on earth. _Now--she hears not the voice of the oppressor--she is where the wicked cease from troubling, and where the weary are at rest_.

In fixedness of courage immovable, in clearness of intellect unrivalled, she shone on earth as the polar-star in the firmament of her sex, and in her utmost need, they circled round her as the sun of their glory. Her wrongs and her fate are indelibly registered in our annals. Honest historians of after-times will narrate them truly, and unpensioned Bards embalm her to posterity.

The Queen's dying request was, to lie in the same tomb with her child--sad experience taught her to anticipate a refusal from her relentless enemies!

"Let her be buried in the King's highway, For on her heart they trod, the while she liv'd; And, buried once, why not upon her head?"--

Men and Women of England! have ye not a little Grave, Her _Spirit_ was with the People while she lived--her body belongs to them now that she is no more.

The Author of the The Political House Jack Built.

** When this article was written, the Queen lay unburied.

{231}

THE DEATH-LIGHT OF CAROLINE'S HALL,

The death-lights glimmer in Caroline's hall, Where strangers have spread the funeral pall; Relations by blood from her have fled, And other hands have pillow'd her head-- Vet a halo round her temples plays, Brighter than earthly crowns can raise! When her heart-strings broke, no husband was there, With a bursting breast, and a holy prayer-- Her Royal Spouse was _on the sea_, In glittering pomp and pageantry; With streamers pointing to Erin's shore, Where wassail, and wine, and wild uproar, And the noisy mirth of a motley band, Were to drown the sighs of a sorrowing land! The prospect was bright on her Bridal Day, And English hearts were light and gay; Alas!'twas the gleam of a wintry sky, When dark clouds come, and the storm is nigh.

The eye to bless, and the hand to save, Were not the gifts that the altar gave! She never knew the sweet control That wins, that guards the cherish'd soul; But met the keen repulsive glance From furious eye-balls turn'd askance!-- A _licensed outcast_, bade to roam, No husband's bed--no friend--no home-- The treacherous _Spy_ in ambush placed, Our British name defiled, disgraced!

{232}

At last kind Heaven upon her smiled-- The raptured Mother clasp'd her Child; Maternal love beam'd from her eye; The tear-dew'd cheek _for once_ was dry. But devilish hate could ne'er endure A joy so sweet, a bliss so pure; And the cherub-smile that cheer'd her life, Was rudely torn from the widow'd wife!

But who shall tell--or who shall believe, That malice could deeper wrongs conceive? O, learn the deed from the daughter's bier-- In Judgment bid her _Tomb_ appear; On the dark vault let the day-beam shine; Behold the broken lincage-line!

The Record rests on the sculptured stone-- _Robb'd of the Mother's name_ alone. The surpliced Priest made no appeal-- His Earthly Masters check'd his zeal-- From those who bent their heads to Heaven, To pray that mortals be forgiven; No kind behest for her was sent, No Priestly hand to her was lent; But when, at length, she lifeless fell, Rose the _hollow_ sound of _their_ passing bell! Well fed, well paid, to blast her name, Swarms of Italian Monsters came; And English Monsters, fouler still, Obey'd their Masters' deadly will! The fiends have chased her day by day, Her _Sabbath_ death-bed was their prey!-- These are not men!--they never press'd The life-streams from a human breast; Nor are they woman-born--but thrown From some vile source to man unknown! She struggled long--she nobly rose Triumphant o'er her rancorous foes; Bravely she stood the lengthen'd strife For honest fame--more dear than life-- But ah! the nerve, too finely strung, Was wrench'd, was torn, was rudely wrung-- She won the prize--_that_ strength was given, Then burst from earth to kinder Heaven!

ADVERTISEMENTS

{233}

ROYAL CUCKOO CLOCK.

SLOP, SLANDERIANI, & Co. Cuckoo Clock-makers to his Majesty, have the honour to acquaint the Nobility, Gentry, and the Public at large, that they have completed their NEW CUCKOO CLOCK, which has been introduced into some of the first Families, and they hope will be received with unbounded patronage throughout the Kingdom. It is capable of the most ornamental appearance, and under their management receives every possible variety of external splendor. They fit it up as a piece of elegant furniture, which has been pronounced to be unrivalled by personages of the highest distinction and the most correct taste in virtu. In its present unrivalled state of perfection, they invite an immediate inspection of the article at their different manufactories in town.

*****

FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE

It is well known, that the Coronation Oil of the Kings of France was brought in a bottle from Heaven by an eagle, and from that fact called _Holy_ Oil. During the Revolution, a Jacobin took the liberty of using the Holy Oil to grease his boots with, and the eagle not having arrived with a fresh supply, it is said that Louis XVIII. will remain uncrowned until that event, or until the fellow's boots can be found and the oil extracted and transferred to the head of His Most Christian Majesty. {234}

Ferocity exemplified, by comparative

ANATOMY; or, an Illustration of the FACIAL LINE in Man and the Brute, showing the natural gradation from the ferocious to the human being, with the domestic habits of the Savage.

*****

DEDICATED TO HIS MAJESTY,

And the Society for the Suppression of Vice,

[LETTERS IN GREEK].

THE JOURNAL OF THE LATE MR. ELLIOTT, Surgeon. Sec. Translated from the Latin MS. in Pall-mall. With Illustrations from Petronius Arbiter and Peter Aretin, and Sketches by the Privy Painter. The Introduction by Sir W------ F--------.

Printed for W. Wright, the 'Pedibus-aknexis' Publisher, 46, Fleetstreet. * Suidas.

*****

In small royal,

THE TRUE HAIR TO THE CROWN; or, THE WHIGS

CUT FOR ANOINTING. By A LATE FOXITE.

THE TAXGATHERERS KNOCKING.

(In Imitation of 'The Woodpecker tapping.')

I knew by the wig that so gracefully curl'd Above a high cape, that the ------ was there, And I said, if there's _ton_ to be found in the world, The Dandy of fashion will look for it here-- Half the shops were shut up, and I heard not a sound, But Taxgath'rers knocking, while going their dull round!

And here, in Pall Mall, near the Park, I exclaim'd, With a _Bomb_, oh, how big! and how gay to the eye, Yachts, cots, and what-nots, all be-gilt, and be-famed, What a strange mode of life!--and I groan'd out a sigh!-- While the shops are half shut, and we scarce hear a sound, But Taxgath'rers knocking, while going their dull round!

On pretence of Necessity, frequent large dips In my now emptied pockets have made me repine; In vain does Retrenchment rise up to my lips, The ------ must _live_, though starvation be mine-- Though my shop be deserted, and heard not a sound, But Taxgath'rers knocking, while going their dull round!

{235}

PUBLISHED THIS DAY.

BLACKGUARD'S EDINBURGH MAGAZINE;

Or, THE HAGGIS BAG.

I. Guard' a low.--II. Lines suggested by the sight of a Gallows, with some friends of ours.--III. The Golden Bull, or Second Sight, by Sir Walter Scott.--IV. Charlie's Return, or the Welcome, by ditto.--V. The Editor's Fudge-it.--VI. Auld Reekies Mawwalliip for the Londoners.--VII. Chaldee Manuscript, Part II. by James Hogg, the Aye-trick Shepherd.--VIII. Liar Bacon; ditto.--IX. The Broken Heart; a Merriment.--X. A Gallop on the Grave of Keats.--XI. Mode of Applying Torture to the Mind.--XII. Philosophy of Self, No. I; by the Publisher.--XIII. A Grey Head brought in sorrow to the Grave; a Capital Joke.--XIV. Cowardice made easy to the meanest capacity, by Mr. Lackheart.--XV. On the probable injurious Influence of Moral and Religious Instruction on our Character and Circulation; by the Publisher.--XVI. Any Man's Privacy, every Man's Property.--XVII. The Loathing Bull, or the Widow's Cow; a Sentiment.--XVIII. Elegy on Henry IX., King of England.--XIX. Pleasures of Malignity, by Mr. Lackheart.--XX. The Grave Digger, No. 101.--XXI. The Bum Boat, No. 17.--XXII. The Scottish Regalia; an old Wife's Tale.--XXIII. A few words to that immense body of Mankind, who refuse to hand us the siller.--XXIV. Works we are preparing for Suffocation.--XXV. Monthly List of Jew Publications.--XXVI. Monthly Wretched-stir.

A PERTICULAR FAC.

We hae muckle fear for the weal o' the Cantry o'Breetan, frae the great deal o' ill huiks, like unto the deil's buiks, and the like o'that. We hae juist glowred o'er a wee bnikee, a verra bad buik indeed--a verra bad buifc. An' we are verra sorey to say, there are money o' sic bad buiks, fu' o-' daflin, trying to thraw contemp upo' the thron an' the halter, ca'ing the Lord Provost a full, an' the Lord Advocate nae better, and a' the great folk pawkie loons; an' we can compare't to naething but the muckle black de'il fiddling thro' the toon. As sic is the case, it's nae for the siller we're writing, but oot o' pure lawyellty an' patriotism for the guid o' the Cantry. Gin the silly peeple keun'd what wa'd be guid for them, they wa'd nae fash themsels aboot learning to read ava, or read naething but our Maggy-zeen, an' we hope to see the day whan there'll be naething but our Maggy-zeen read thro' a' the Cantry; for we are fermly persuaded that the folk are turning o'er learned, an' we are aye endeavoring to write them doon to the state o' happy ignorance an' respectfu' submission that they war in, whan the guid-wife wad say to her ain guid man, 'Git up, Donald, and be hangit, an' dinna anger the laird!' It's naething but right and proper that King Geordie an' his _Mean-astres_ s'ud juist hae their ain gait o't in a' things 'as the Cat had wi' the haggis:--ate the pudden, an' gaed to sleep i' the bag!' For an it be na sae, we're muckle afeerd that his most gracious _Mad-jestie_ winna be aible to eat his parritch, an' scrach himsel' in safety.

N. B. We hae great help _in preevat_ frae Sir Wattie, who _conn'd-his-ends de'el-hight-fully_, an' his guid-son, Maister Lackheart, is our perticular freend an' contra-booter; an' Maister Blackguard drives that 'Jacobite Relic' Jamie Hogg, the aye-trick Sheepherd, juist as he likes. And sae we'll hae mony delectfu' extracts fra' the buiks prentit in Niddry's Wynd, an' a wallet o' ballets pruiving the truith o' the sayen o' his _Mad-jestie_ King Jamie the Saxt, that 'to scratch whare it etches is o'er muckle luck-surie for a mere sabject.'

_Edinburgh: Printed for W. Blackwood, 17, Princes-street._

*****

In thin Quarto,

A VISION OF WANT OF JUDGMENT. By SLOBBER'D

MOUTHEY, Esq. Hell, Hell, D--; Poet Sorry-head, Mumbler of the Royal Spanish Satiety, of the Satieties of every other place, of the Royal Order of Turncoats, and of an eminent Welch Obscurity {236}

A NEW VISION,

By ROBERT SOUTHEY, Esq.! LL.D.!!

Poet Laureate!!! &c.!!!! &c.!!!!! &c.!!!!!!

'Twas at that sober hour when the light of day is receding, I alone in Slop's Office was left; and, in trouble of spirit, I mused on old times, till my comfort of heart had departed. Pensile at least I shall be, methought--_sus. per coll._ surely! And therewithal felt I my neckcloth; when lo! on a sudden, There came on my eyes, hanging mid-way 'twixt heav'n and St. James's, The book call'd the _Pension List_. There did I see my name written, Yea ev'n in that great book of life! It was sweet to my eyelids, As dew from a tax! and _Infinity_ seem'd to be open, And I said to myself, 'Now a blessing be on thee, my Robert! And a blessing on thee too my pen! and on thee too my sack-but!' Now, as thus I was standing, mine ear heard a rap at the street-door, Ev'n such as a man might make bold with, half gentle half footman; And lo! up the stairs, dotting one, one, after the other, Came the leg of a wonder, hop! hop! through the silence of evening; And then a voice snarling from the throat of the him they call Murray, Who said, as he hopp'd, 'Must the _Muck Times_ be mournful at _all_ times? Lo, SLOP, I've a sop, for your mop; yes--hop! hop! I've a _story_, With which I'll light _you_ up, if you'll light me, Slop, up another.' 'Don't be so _bold!_ methought a _larking_ voice from the skylight Answer'd, and therewithal I felt fear as of frightening; Knowing not why, or how, my soul seem'd night-cap to my body. Then came again the voice, but then with a louder squalling-- 'Go to hell,' said the voice. 'What!,' said I, inwardly, 'I go!' When lo, and behold, a great wonder!--I, I, Robert Southey, Even I, Robert Southey, Esquire, LL.D. Poet Laureate, Member of the Royal Spanish Academy, of the Ditto of history too, of the Institute Royal Of Dutchland, and eke of the Welch Cymmodorion wonder, Author of Joan of Arc, of much Jacobin Verse, and Wat Tyler, Et cætera, et caetera, et caetera, et cætera, et cætera, (For it's unknown all the things that I am, and have written), I, as I said before, ev'n I, by myself, I, Unlike, in that single respect, to my great master Dante, (For Virgil went with him to help him), but like in all others, Rush'd up into Paradise boldly, which angels themselves don't, Yea ev'n into Paradise rush'd I, through showers of _flimsies_, All as good as the Bank, and for hailstones I found there were _Sovereigns_, Spick and span new; and anon was a body all glorified, Even all the great Host both of Church and State, Crosses, Grand Crosses, Commanders, Companions, and Knights of all possible orders, Commons and Peers, the souls of the sold, whom Pensions made perfect,

DOCTOR

Flocking {239}on either hand, a multitudinous army,

Coronet, Crosier, and Mitre, in grand semicircle inclining,

Tier over tier they took their place, aloft in the distance,

Far as the sight could pierce, Stars, Garters, and Gold Sticks.

From among the throng bless'd, all full dress'd, in a Field Marshal's uniform, Rose one, with a bow serene, who, aloft, took his station;

Before him the others crouch'd down, all inclining in concert,

Bent like a bull-rush sea, with a wide and a manifold motion:

There he stood in the midst alone; and in front was the presence,

With periwig curling and gay, and a swallow-cut coat-tail.

Hear ye of long ears! Lo! in that place was _Canning_,

He who strengthens the Church and State, with his Manton's hair-triggers, And sneers on his lips, and eyes leering, and _rupturous_ speeches;

With him Fletcher Franklin I saw, and Sir Robert, my namesake,

Worthy the name! even Baker, Sir Robert, of Bow-street;

And Gifford, with face made of lachrymose, savage and feeble,

Who delighteth with Croker to cut up men, women, and young men,

And therefore did Hazlitt cut him up, and so he stood mangled.

There, too, brocaded and satin'd, stood smiling and bowing,

With Court-mask'd appearance, the Fearful One, him of Triangle!

And there, too, the Foolish one, far-conscienced, the Doctor!

And I saw in the vision, the Generals, Sol. and Attorney;

And Sacchi, was there too and him surnamed _Non mi Ricordo_;

And Mad'moiselle Dæmon, and Barbara Kress, and Rastelli;

And Mister, and Mister-ess Jessop, and eke the Miss Jessups;

And Mar-Ai' H--, and M-ss C-m, also;

And Mrs. Fitz--t, and C--ch; and in sooth all the Beauties

Of the 'Georgian age,' except Robinson Mary,

Whom great G. first sent to the D--, and little G. after,

Namely Gifford, who smote at her sorely, yea, ev'n at her crutches,

So that she fell in her grave, and said, 'Cover me kind earth!'

And the great minded Cl---- was there, looking like to Behemoth;

And the Lauderdale disinterested, great Scotch standard-bearer,

And there, too, the king's much-conspired-against-stationer, King, stood, The Lord Mayor of Dublin, who sendeth his Majesty's whiskey;

And the Members of Orange Clubs all, anti-Irish shullelahs;

And a heav'nly assembly of parsons, some, lately, expectant--

Parson Hey? Parson B. called, otherwise, Parson Black-cow, divine brute! Parson C. alias Croly, or Crawley, or Coronaroly,

Who putteth forth innocent pamphlet? on pure coronations,

Expecteth Milleniums, and laudeth the Blackguard of Blackwood's,

And looketh both lofty and slavish, a dreaminess high-nosed,

As if he had, under the chin been, by worshipful men, chuck'd;

And great Parson Eat--n V--slone, who'd swallow any thing surely;

And the _Manchester Yeomanry Cavalry_, riding down women;

And Alderman Atkins, with Curtis, that big belly-gerent;

And Flower, and Bridges, C. Smith, and the rest of the Bridge Gang;

All cloth'd for the heav'nly occasion in their best Indictments!

And there all the Lottery-contractors, and such like, were also;

And there {240}Mr. Strong-i-th'-arm, his Majesty's Seal-Engraver, was also; And they all who forged, lo! the French Assignats, were there also;

And the Court-newsman also was there--

(The Spirit now bids me write prose, but that, you know's all the same thine;) And Colburn with his Muck Monthly Magazine was there;

And Ward, the Animal Painter, with a piece of spoil'd canvas, 35 feet wide by 21, was there;

But Bird who, most disloyally, died of a broken heart, was not there;

And the Duke of Wellington, with the Sword of State, was there;

And Sir John Silvester, the Recorder of London, and his assistant, were there; And Messrs. Uundell and Bridge, the Jewellers who repair'd the Crown, were there;

And the Pigtails out off from his Majesty's guards were there;

And the Guards themselves in their neat uniforms, and new white gaiters, were there;

And the State Coach and Coachmen and Horses were there;

And the other Ministers of State in their new State Liveries were there; And the Clerks of the Council and the two Silver Inkstands were there; And all the Gentlemen of the Stock Exchange were there;

And all the Gentlemen of the Shipping Interest were there;

And all the Gentlemen of the Landed Interest were there;

But all the people without Interest were not there;

And all the Peers who voted the Queen of England guilty were-there;

And all the Ministerial Members of the House of Commons were there; And Dr. Slop with 'fresh fig-leaves for Adam and Ere' was there;

And the Royal Proclamation against Vice and Immorality was pasted up there. And behold, while I read it, thinking to put it, excellent as it was, Into language still better,

Methought, in my vision, I dreamt--dream within dream intercircled--And seem'd to be hurried away, by a vehement whirlwind,

To Flames and Sulphurous Darkness, where certain of my Minor Poems were scorching,

Yet unconsum'd, in penal fire; and so was I purified

For deeds done in the flesh, being, through them, burnt by proxy!

There, too, roasted the Bishop of Osnaburgh's Doxy,

But the Righteous-one, _the Prince Bishop himself_, was in Heaven;

And two Boots were there, as a burnt-offering for peccadillo,

But the Owner thereof was a glorified spirit above,

Where, as in duty bound, I had sung to him 'Twang-a-dillo,

He that loves a pretty girl, is a hearty good fellow!'

And in Torment (but here the blest rage of the bard returns on me)

And in torment was She, who, on earth, had been also tormented By Him who is never, nor can be accused, of aught vicious;

With her were the friends of my childhood--not leaving out Coleridge; And they who were kill'd by the Manchester Yeomanry also;

And Truth, the whole Truth, nothing but the Truth, suffered the burning. Then I turn'd my meek eyes, in their gladness, to Heaven, and my place there, And ascending, I flew back to Paradise, singing of Justice;

Where, fill'd with divine expectation of merited favour,

{241}

The gathering host look'd to him, in whom all their hopes center'd,

As the everlasting hand; and I, too, press'd forward to obtain--

But old recollections withheld me;--down, down, dropp'd my sack-but, And my feet, methought, slid, and I fell precipitate. Starting,

Then I awoke, with my hair up, and lo! my young days were before me, Dark yet distinct; but instead of the voice of the honest,

I hoard only Murray's yap', yap! and hap! hop! through the silence of evening: Yap! hop! and hop! yap!--and hence came the hop, step, and jump, of my verses.

BOROUGH-BRIDGE REFORM.

The the Ancient and Honourable Corporation of Boroughmongers, in Parlaverment assembled, THE PETITION of the Ancient and Honourable Corporation of London Bridge in Arches assembled,

Hombly sheweth,

That, for some time past, an opinion has prevailed, that your Petitioners' _Arches_ are narrow and decayed, and that their continuance in their present state is attended with an unnecessary annual expense, and loss of lives.

That, in consequence of this opinion, a large body of persons assembled for Bridge Reform, have insisted upon the necessity of widening your Petitioners' _Arches_, and have actually erected, in your Petitioners' neighbourhood, a new bridge, with arches calculated to give free course to the whole tide, and a safe and uninterrupted public communication--to the great scandal of your Petitioners.

That your Petitioners' Arches, and the Borough Arches of your Honourable Structure, are the production of one and the same mind.

That your Honourable Structure being a model of perfection, your Petitioners have, therefore, a right to presume that their Bridge is also a model of perfection.

That your Petitioners, respectfully referring to the enlightened declaration of the Emperor of Austria, that what is ancient is good, humbly beg leave to represent, that it is essential to the permanence of your Honourable Structure in its present state, to stop the progress of all enlargement.

And your Petitioners humbly pray, that the Right Hon. George Canning may be assigned advocate in their behalf, to convince the Public that your Petitioners' Arches are exactly as numerous, as narrow, and as decayed as they ought-to-be; which office your Petitioners have no doubt the said Right Hon. Gent. will gladly undertake, upon being allowed to receive an ample toll.

AND YOUR PETITIONERS, as in uniformity found, will ever pray for Your Honourable Structure.

{242}

ADVERTISEMENTS

TO ACCOUNTANTS and Others. Any Persons who will undertake to unravel the Financial ACCOUNTS of Messrs. VAN and Co. to the understanding of the Parties interested in their Affairs, may have CONSTANT EMPLOY. Apply to Mr. Bull, who is concerned for the Creditors, at the Pawnbrokers, in Capel-court.

*****

REVOLUTIONARY WIG.

The late Mr. Sergeant Copley's wig-maker begs leave to inform gentlemen of the profession, that he has completely succeeded in overcoming the difficulty so long complained of by gentlemen at the bar, who are desirous of _turning_ without discomposure; for proof whereof he refers by permission to the Solicitor General and the Chief Justice of Chester, who, for a long time, could not turn at all, but now revolve perfectly at ease.

*****

*****

WARREN'S BLACK-RAT BLACKING.

CHARLES WARREN, of CHESTER-PLACE, with the utmost diffidence, publicly announces his successful discovery. By the first application of his varnish to BOOTS, he saw his own face in them, with a Judge's wig on his head; and he assures his old friends, who he knows will take his word for it, that the reflection was so strong, it almost knocked him back. He earnestly desires their approbation, and solicits their favour in his new shop. He humbly begs they will support him as much as they can. His going round among strangers is insupportable to him, unless he can get a few of his former friends to accompany him.

*****

GOLDEN OINTMENT FOR THE EYES. This invaluable

Ointment enables the patient to see in the dark.

(CASE.)

DEAR SIR; "Keswick, Cumberland, 19th July, 1821.

"Your invaluable ointment being strongly recommended to me some years ago, I was induced to try a box. Its effects were astonishing!--I immediately looked two ways at once, and saw my way clear to the Laureateship. I have seen in the dark ever since! Without its powerful operation I could never have obtained the degree of LL.D. Please to send some in the usual way by _Van_, as I find it utterly impossible to live without it, and recommend it to all my relations.

"I am, dear Sir, your's,

"R. SOUTHEY, Esq. LL. D.

"Poet Laureate; Member of the Royal Spanish Academy; of the Royal Spanish Academy of History; of The Royal Institute of the Netherlands; of the Cymmodorion, &c. Author of Wat Tyler, Joan of Arc, Minor Poems."

==> Prepared in _Crown_ boxes, by Mr. GEORGE KING, No. 4, at the Toy-shop, Constitution-hill, near the bottom.

*****

LOST, THE BALANCE OF EUROPE, as privately adjusted, according to a pair of pocket scales, by the Marquess of, Londonderry; it was last seen on a piece of paper at Laybach. Please to bring it to the Foreign Office. {243}

THE MAGNIFICENT PYRAMID, erected by the wisdom, labour, property, and lives of our forefathers, has been completely REVERSED. Architects, well enough acquainted with the structure to undertake its RESTORATION, will be allowed any time they desire for a work of such vast magnitude, but it must be undertaken immediately, as it is shored up in its present INVERTED STATE at an immense annual expense, with frail materials. Testimonials of the greatest respectability for capacity and character, and security for completion of the task, without further injury to the ornament at the apex, will be required. Apply to the Board of Control.

*****

CONVULSIONS, &c.

A REAL BLESSING--THE AMERICAN SOOTHING

SYRUP, an infallible Remedy for CONVULSIONS, affording immediate ease in disorders of the Constitution, and healing multitudes in the most desponding condition....

Such are the virtues of this healing Balm for assuaging misery and anguish in the suffering, that innumerable impositions have been practised. It is, therefore, requisite to notice, that the genuine article has the word Liberty on the seal.--Prepared, as usual, by the assigns of Messrs. Franklin, Washington, and Co. from the original recipe, and may be had genuine in _America-square_.

If ever there was a blessing sent from Heaven for the relief of the suffering, the American Soothing Syrup claims the pre-eminence. The poor relieved gratis.

N. B. It has been discovered that the American Soothing Syrup is an infallible TEST FOR SOVEREIGNS. It in no way blemishes a good one, but discovers the baseness of a bad one immediately. {244}

*****

SCHOOLS FOR ALL.

USEFUL INSTRUCTION having hitherto been chiefly confined to the Productive Classes, and many in the Upper Ranks still remaining in a deplorable state of ignorance, it is intended to establish SCHOOLS FOR THE HIGHER ORDERS, in order that, by being equally well-informed with the rest of the community, the plea of ignorance may no longer be allowed as an excuse for want of knowledge in the duties of life. Further information may be had of the printer.

UNIVERSAL SAFETY LAMP.

"One unclouded blaze of living light."

THE COMBINATION AGAINST THIS LAMP renders it necessary to state some of its advantages. The best of the Common Parish Lamps, so universally complained of for their dulness, do little more than render darkness visible, and assist the perpetration of crime. If their forms are occasionally varied by lacquer and varnish, and rendered pleasing to the eye, their light is not improved in the smallest degree; and they require a multitude of hands to feed and trim them, at a most enormous expense; while THE "UNIVERSAL SAFETY" LAMP diffuses a brilliant and steady lustre, and a genial warmth equal to the solar beam. It eclipses every other brightness. The only inconvenience complained of by the nervous and fastidious is, that its flame sometimes rises during a storm, and emits a small portion of smoke, but this vapour ceases almost immediately after the agitation has subsided. _It is constructed on an unerring principle of Self-regulation; it cannot be extinguished by any power on earth, and will Last for Ever_. {245}

THE NEW INDIAN JUGGLER.

THIS CELEBRATED PERFORMER, whose early operations in Asia, and subsequent slight-of-hand in Europe, have rendered him notorious, will perform the first opportunity. If he has the consent of his landlady's friends, he will put the sword down her throat, and keep it there as long as he pleases--the like not exhibited in England. He will then set the balls a-flying like winged messengers. These tricks, with permission, he is ready to exhibit. Further particulars in future Advertisements.

*****

GENERAL ORDERS.

14th July, 1821.

IT is Ordered, that there be delivered to every private Soldier, now in his Majesty's Service, or who may be hereafter enlisted therein, a copy of the New Testament, with the 5th, 6th, and 7th chapters of Matthew cut out, and the Articles of War stitched in their place: and any Soldier who shall pawn or sell the said New Testament without first taking out the said Articles of War, and keeping them for his own use, shall suffer death.

*****

SERVICE CLUB.

Resolved, 14th July, 1821.

THAT an English Artisan is a scamp and a ragamuffin, until a profit has been had out of a red coat, which, when put on his back at the public expense, suddenly transforms him into the bravest and finest fellow in the world. E. PAULET.

*****

CORN PLAISTER.

*****

THIS SOOTHING ARTICLE being entirely exhausted, the Select Committee of the House of Commons, on Agricultural Distress, will be glad of the smallest quantity, that they may dispense it to the various sufferers throughout the country.

*****

WASTE PA PER and PARCHMENT, consisting of the Petitions for a REFORM in the Representation, to be sold in quantities--not less than a ton weight.

==> May be viewed, and particulars had, at the Parliament Coffee-House. {246}

THE TENTHS, or KING'S OWN. Persons willing to contract for the purpose of furnishing this active Legion with FORAGE, and supplying the Mess, may apply to the Barrack-Master-General, Lambeth.

*****

THE REV. S. PIGGOTT, A.M. Curate and Lecturer of St. James's, Clerkenwell, and St. Antholin's, Watling-street, WANTS A PLACE. He has written Prayers for Families, a Guide to the Altar, and an Example of Conversion by the Common Prayer Book; named the Queen the _German_ Helen; represented her with a lighted torch, reaching at the Bible and the Crown to destroy them; called her "Old Mother Red Cap;" hung her head up as a sign to a public-house, with a gross allusion to Bergami; said her infamy was fixed; and made her Majesty exclaim, that--

"Thrice she'd expire in Matthew's arms, Would but the hangman Matthew spare!"

Further particulars can be given by his Treasurer, Charles Bicknell, Esq. Solicitor to the Admiralty, 3, Spring-garden Terrace, on whom all demands on account of the Rev. S. Piggott's Loyal Association should be made; but all monies due or owing thereto, are requested to be paid immediately to the Rev. S. Piggott only.

==> More information respecting his clerical labours hereafter.

*****

WANTED TO GO ABROAD, a stout, active, stonehearted young man, of a serious turn, as an apprentice in the military business, and to assist as a missionary.

==> Apply at the Bishop and Bayonet, Westminster.

*****

A CAUTION.

A SLOW BUT SURE POISON, which gradually insinuates itself into the system, and will utterly destroy a human being, is now making frightful ravages. Its common name is CANT. Some _blacks_ deliver it in the lump, and a certain _lawyer_ has been seen to part with it in the form of globules. It is most subtle when laminated, and unfortunately is to be found in that state spread over a large portion of the community. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, that the effluvia from the infected is contagious.

N. B. The most certain symptom of the presence of the poison is, prostration of mind.

"Please to remember the _Grotto!_"

{247}

PRIESTIANITY.

As a grateful return to the Productive Classes of England, For bread, meat, beer, cellars of wines, rich furniture, luxurious equipages, princely palaces, clothing of purple and fine linen, and faring sumptuously every day, during the whole of their ecclesiastical lives, out of the people's labour, the following ten prelates have become members of the anti-social association in Bridge-street:--

The Bishop of Gloucester

-- Llandaff

-- Peterborough

The Bishop of Bangor

-- Carlisle

-- Chester

-- Durham

--Ely

St. David's York

*****

Dr. Maltus has received a Prize for his Essay on the Moral Restraint of War, the Blessings of Famine, the Advantages of Pestilence, the Comforts of Disease, and the Piety of Decease.

Bp. Tommy O'Linn has a Faculty for copying the newspapers into an original Life of Mr. Pitt.

Bp. Van Mill-dirt is collated to a Dinnery for telling which side his bread is buttered on in the dark.

*****

Published for the Benefit of the Clergy,

THE ART OF CONDUCTING WAR ON CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES.

Shortly will be published, for the Use of Schools,

*****

PRIESTIANITY and CHRISTIANITY COMPARED; or,

A Parallel between the Principles of Christianity and the Practice of Priestianity.

*****

EMPERIAL PALAVERMENT

HOUSE OF TOPS.--Whenstheday.

Ordered, That after the adjournment of the House to-day, strangers be accommodated with seats until the sitting of the House to-morrow.--Adjourned.

*****

HOUSE OF BOTTOMS.

Moved and Seconded, That the following words he stereotyped by the printer to the House, and sent to all the newspapers for the convenience of reporting the Manager's speeches, viz.

"He should not follow the hon. member into any of the various points of his extended speech, but content himself with moving an adjournment, resting fully satisfied upon the wisdom of the House for a proper decision of the question when it came regularly before them."--Agreed to without a division.--Adjourned.--

*****

Substance of the Bills for Restraining the Press.--Kneor Gagret, the pseudo ump alor al'Ainbassadereux, roseat ul purpe et Suheance du Balles au Pres,--Volumptuanuni et geordibus non et est ecclaribus tandem etpriorus au clericus pooribus, that is to say, Castigatus videm Literorumme-a'-Presserorumme-a'-Exposerumet vi al quid o'tobacce au sycophantussum hark! Contriorium, etc. etc.!!!

*****

Receipt to make an Attorney-General.--Take a _little_ man with an eye to his preferment. It is not necessary that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a _Rat_. He must have docility sufficient to do any thing; and _if the period should arrive, when power can make rules and laws for the evident purpose of gratifying malignity_, he should be one who should be ready to advise or consent to _the creation of new cases, and be able to defend new remedies for them_, though they militate against every principle of reason, equity, and justice.--Rolliad, p. 433.

*****

[Advertisement.]--Real Brunswick Man sent (carriage free) from the Horse Guards to all parts of the Kingdom, at an hour's notice.

[Advertisement.]--We are authorized to contradict a report that Mr. Vansittart, in his Speech at the last Bible Society Meeting, endeavoured to induce the members to refrain from the purchase of shares and tickets in the ensuing Lottery.

[Advertisement.]--Connoisseurs in the Arts of Design will be gratified to hear, that an assemblage of the Old Masters in different states, will shortly be submitted to the hammer.

*****

PROMOTION.--The Press to be the Board of Confront.

BIRTH.

At the Den, in Bridge-street, John Reeves, esq. M.B.S.G. of a Ten Pound Note. It is not supposed he can recover.

MARRIAGE.

His Imperial Majesty Prince Despotism, in a consumption, to Her Supreme Antiquity, The Ignorance of Eighteen Centuries, in a decline. The bridal dresses were most superb.

DEATH.

His most Sacred Majesty Right Divine. His Legitimacy being declared illegitimate, he has no successor. He was the founder of the Oily Alliance and a sincere Priestian.

Printed by and for W. Hone, 43, Ludgate Hill, London. {249}

A POLITICAL CHRISTMAS CAROL,

TO BE CHAUNTED OR SUNG

THROUGHOUT THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THE DOMINIONS BEYOND THE SEAS,

BY ALL PERSONS THEREUNTO ESPECIALLY MOVED. {250}

THE CAROL.

To be Sung exactly as set.

He 'turn'd his back upon himself And straight to 'Lunnun' came, To two two-sided Lawyers With tidings of the same, That our own land must 'prostrate stand' Unless we praise his name-- For his practical' comfort and joy!

"Go fear not," said his L-p "Let nothing you affright; "Go draw your quills, and draw six Bills, "Put out yon blaze of light: "I'm able to advance you, "Go stamp it out then quite-- "And give me some 'features' of joy!"

{251}

The Lawyers at those tidings Rejoiced much in mind, And left their friends a-staring To go and raise the wind, And straight went to the Taxing-men And said "the Bills come find-- "For 'fundamental' comfort and joy!

The Lawyers found majorities To do as they did say, They found them at their mangers Like oxen at their hay, Some lying, and some kneeling down, All to L--d C--h For his practical' comfort and joy!

With sudden joy and gladness Rat G--ff--d was beguiled, They each sat at his L-p's side, He patted them and smiled; Yet C--pi--y, on his nether end, Sat like a new born Child,-- But without either comfort or joy!

He thought upon his Father, His virtues and his fame, And how that father hoped from him For glory to his name, And as his chin dropp'd on his breast, His pale cheeks burn'd with shame:-- He'll never more know comfort or joy!

{252}

Lord C----h cloth rule yon House, And all who there do reign; They've let us live this Christmas time--- D'ye think they will again? They say they are our masters-- That's neither here, nor there: God send us all a happy new year!

{253}

THE DOCTOR

A PARODY WRITTEN BY THE RIGHT HONORABLE GEORGE CANNING, M. P.

Lord FOLKESTONE confessed that there Had been a smile on his countenance at one part of the right honorable gentleman (Mr. CANNING)'s speech, and it seemed to him very extraordinary, even after the reconciliation that had taken place, to hear the right honorable gentleman stand up for the talents of that poor "Doctor" (Lord SIDMOUTH), who has so long been the butt of his most bitter and unsparing ridicule (_loud laughter and shouts of hear, hear_). Whether in poetry or prose, the great object of his derision, and that for want of ability and sense, was the noble lord whom he (Mr. CANNING) had so strenuously defended that night; and now forsooth, he wondered that any person could object to confide unlimited power in the hands of a person, according to his own former opinions, so likely to be duped and misled (hear, hear). Yes, the house would remember the lines in which, at different times, the right honorable gentleman (Mr CANNING), had been pleased to panegyrize his (Mr. CANNING's) noble friend (Lord SIDMOUTH) of which the following were not the worst:--

"I showed myself prime Doctor to the country; My ends attain'd, my only aim has been To keep my place, and gild my humble name."--

(A laud laugh)

Yes, this was the view the right honorable gentleman had once drawn of his noble friend, who was then described by him thus:--

"My name's the Doctor; on the Berkshire hills," &c.

[See the Parody below for the remainder of Lord Folkestone's Quotation--For his Lordship's Speech, see Evans's Debates, 1817, p. 1568.]

My name's THE DOCTOR; on the Berkshire hills My father purged his patients--a wise man, Whose constant care was to increase his store, And keep his eldest son--myself--at home. But I had heard of Politics, and long'd To sit within the Commons' House, and get A place, and luck gave what my sire denied.

{254}

Some thirteen years ago, or ere my fingers Had learn'd to mix a potion, or to bleed, _I flatterd Pitt: I cring'd, and sneak'd, and faun'd,_ And thus became the Speaker. I alone, With pompous gait, and peruke full of wisdom, Th' unruly members could control, or call The House to order.

Tir'd of the Chair, I sought a bolder flight, And, grasping at his power, I struck my friend, Who held that place which now I've made my own. Proud of my triumph, I disdain'd to court The patron hand which fed me--or to seem Grateful to him who rais'd me into notice.

And, when the King had call'd his Parliament With all my fam'ly crowding at my heels, My brothers, cousins, followers and my son, I show'd myself Prime Doctor to the country. _My ends attain'd my only aim has been To keep my place--and gild my humble name!_

{255}

TO THE READER

THE AUTHOR OF THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT, perceiving the multitude of attempts at Imitation and Imposture, occasioned by the unparalleled sale of that Jeu d'Esprit, injustice to the public and to himself, respect-fully states, that, induced by nearly forty years of the most confidential intimacy with Mr. HONE, and by the warmest friendship and affection for him and his family, he originally selected him for his publisher exclusively; that he has not suffered, nor will he suffer, a line of his writing to pass into the hands of any other Bookseller; and that his last, end owing to imperative claims upon his pen of a higher order, possibly his very last production in that way, will be found in The MAN IN THE MOON.

*****

SALE EXTRAORDINARY

FREEHOLD PUBLIC HOUSES;

Divided into Lots for the convenience of Purchasers.

TO BE SOLD by Mr. HONE, at his House, No. 45, Ludgate Hill, THIS DAY, and following days until entirely disposed of,

AN EXTENSIVE UNENCUMBERED FREEHOLD PROPERTY, in separate Lots. Each comprising a Capital well-accustomed hustling Free Public House, most desirably situated, being thoroughly established in very heart of England, and called by the Name or Sign of "The House that Jack Built." Served Forty Thousand Customers in the course of Six Weeks. Draws the Choicest Spirits, and is not in the mixing or whine way.

The Feathers and Wellington Arms combining to injure this property by setting up Houses of Ill Fame, under the same sign, the Public are cautioned against them; they are easily known from the original House by their Customers being few in number, and of a description better understood than expressed.

The present is an undeniable opportunity to persons wishing to improve their affairs, or desirous of entering into the public line; there being no Fixtures and the Coming-in easy.

Immediate possession will be given in consideration of One Shilling of good and lawful money of the Realm, paid to any of the Booksellers of the United Kingdom.

May be viewed; and Particulars had as above.

{256}

UNIVERSITY LITERATURE--With Thirteen Cats, price is.

THE FIFTY-SECOND EDITION OF THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.

This Publication was entered at Stationers' Hall, and Copies were duly delivered, according to Act of Parliament, one being for the British Museum; yet it is held in such estimation by all ranks, from the mansion to the cottage, including men of high classical and literary attainment, that it is coveted by eminent and learned bodies for the purpose of being preserved and deposited in the other National Libraries, as appears by the following notice:--

(COPY.) London, Jan. 26, 1820.

Sir--I am authorised and requested to demand of you nine copies of the undermentioned Work--The Political House that Jack Built--for the use of the following Libraries and Universities:-- Bodleian; Cambridge; Sion College; Edinburgh; Advocates' Library, Edinburgh; Glasgow; Aberdeen; St. Andrew's; Trinity College, and the King's Inns, Dublin.

I am, Sir, your obedient servant,

GEORGE GREENHILL, Warehouse-keeper to the Company of Stationers.

To Mr. WM. HONE, Ludgate-hill.

This "authorized" and official "demand" on behalf of the Universities and Public Libraries, was immediately complied with; and to save those distinguished bodies the trouble of a similar application for "THE MAN IN THE MOON," copies of that work were also sent with the copies of the Political House that Jack Built, so demanded "for their use."

A SUPERIOR EDITION OF THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT, _is now published, printed on fine Vellum Drawing Paper, with the Cuts handsomely_ COLOURED, Price 3s.--The same Edition plain, Price 2s.

*****

Withdrawn from the Press,

A LETTER TO THE SOLICITOR GENERAL. By WILLIAM HONE.

Since the announcement of this Publication, the attack of the Solicitor-General upon the Juries of my Country has drawn down upon that Gentleman, within the walls of Parliament, such deserved animadversion as to render superfluous any interference on my part.

Two years have elapsed since I broke away from the toils; and it seems the escape of the destined victim is never to be forgiven! The cause of which the Solicitor-General is unexpectedly the gratuitous advocate, has taken appropriate refuge in the snug precincts of Gatton. There let it wither!

The verdicts of my Juries require no other vindication than a faithful recital of the grounds on which they were founded. From the period at which those verdicts were pronounced, and with a view to that vindication, I have been unremittingly employed in the collection and arrangement of rare and curious materials which the Solicitor-General's attack will induce me to extend to

A COMPLETE HISTORY OF PARODY.

This History I purpose to bring out, very speedily, _with extensive graphic illustrations,_ and I flatter myself it will answer the various purposes of satisfying the expectations of my numerous and respectable subscribers--of justifying my own motives in publishing the Parodies--of throwing a strong light upon the presumable motives of my prosecutors in singling me out from my Noble and Right Honorable Fellow Parodists--of holding up Trial by Jury to the increased love and veneration of the British People--and above all, of making every calumny upon the verdicts of three successive, honorable, and intelligent Juries recoil upon the slanderer, be he who he may, that dares to asperse them. W. HONE. Ludgate-Hill, March, 1820.

Printed by W. Hone, 45, Ludgate-Hill.

Till now I never understood the reason of the policy and prurience of the Spaniards in suffering the Inquisition among them; and certainly it will never be well with ax till something like the Spanish Inquisition be in England.'--Recorder of London at the Old Bailey

THE "DAMNABLE ASSOCIATION;" on, THE INTERNAL INQUISITION OF BLACK FRIARS

An Interior View of the DEN in Bridge Street, with the GANG at Work.