Part 38

O infinite majesty of my God! I am so full of shame at the sight of the ingratitude and malice of which I find myself guilty before Thee, that I dare not raise my eyes to heaven. I confess, O most gracious and merciful Lord, that by the multitude and enormity of my sins I have deserved to be abandoned by Thee, and condemned to eternal torments. Ah, unhappy being that I am, how can I have dared to offend Thee! Can it be, O my Saviour, that I have trampled under foot Thy blood, by which I was redeemed; and that I have thus renewed the pains of Thy Passion and of Thy death! Ah, why, why did I not die at once, rather than displease Thee! How could I dare to offend against Thee, Who art infinite goodness, wisdom, and beauty!... Thee, Who art perfection itself!... Thee, Who art my God, my Creator, my beginning, my end, my happiness, my all!... Thee, from Whom I have received my being, my life, and all that I am!... Thee, Who hast guided and protected me with the tenderest love under the shadow of Thy wings!... Thee, Who hast adopted me for Thy child, and made me heir to Thy eternal kingdom!... Thee, Who hast redeemed me by Thy most precious blood, and hast so often nourished me with Thy most sacred body and blood in the Sacrament of the Eucharist! And yet, notwithstanding these, Thy great and manifold blessings, I have offended Thee, O my God! I have abandoned Thee, to league with Thy enemies against Thee. I have preferred a vile gratification to Thy love. Oh, ingratitude! Oh, delusion! Oh, madness! Ah, when shall I detest my sins as much as they deserve! O my sweet and merciful Lord Jesus, of Whose goodness there is no end, and of Whose mercy the treasure is infinite, have pity on me, and save my soul! Pardon me, O most bountiful Lord, pardon me, I entreat Thee, by the merit of Thy bitter Passion and death! Remember not my iniquities, but regard Thy infinite mercy. I promise that, by the help of Thy grace, I will never fall into them again. From this very moment I break all the ties that bind me to the world, to the flesh, to the devil, and to sin. I am from this moment firmly resolved to trample under foot all worldly vanities, and to consecrate myself entirely to Thy holy love. Oh, never allow me to fall back into my old habits of sin! Never permit that honors, or interest, or pleasure, or pride, or the love of life, or the fear of death, or any other motive, shall cause me to swerve from Thy divine commands. Grant that I may keep them with my whole heart, though it should cost me the sacrifice of my life, and of all I hold dearest in the world.

Ah, what has been my folly and my wickedness in having so often and so grievously offended my God, my heavenly Father, my gracious and loving Redeemer! What ingratitude, what an excess of malice! At the very moment I was receiving with one hand the greatest favors and graces from this my most tender and merciful Lord, with the other I was plunging a dagger into His bosom—I was crucifying Him again within my soul! I have sold myself to the devil for a worthless pleasure; I have renounced the kingdom of heaven and all the joys of paradise for a trifling enjoyment; I have signed the decree for my eternal damnation to gratify my pride; I have condemned myself to suffer an eternity of torments and all the agonies of hell, to indulge an unworthy passion! Ah, who will give to my eyes a fountain of tears, that I may weep and lament over my sins!

O my divine Redeemer, Whose love I have unhappily despised, Whose blood I have trodden under foot, Whose wounds I have reopened, and Whose death I have renewed by my sins! How can I present myself before Thee after so great an excess of ingratitude and malice! O my gracious Saviour, what hadst Thou done to me that I should treat Thee so cruelly! Thou hast reconciled me to Thy Father by Thy death, and I have again drawn down upon myself His indignation by repeated sins. Thou hast snatched me from the slavery of the devil, and I have again entangled myself in his snares. Thou hast healed my wounds, and I have inflicted fresh ones on myself. Thou hast delivered me from the eternal flames of hell, to which I was condemned by my sins, and I have cast myself into them again. Thou hast obtained heaven for me, and I have sold the right which Thou didst purchase at the price of Thy blood, for a trifling pleasure, for a corruptible crown. Is it possible to conceive folly, stupidity, malice, equal to mine! I confess it here before Thee, O Lord; I detest it from the depths of my soul; and resolve to die a thousand times rather than fall again into it. Ah, wilt Thou reject a contrite and humble sinner, when Thou didst come down from heaven to call sinners to repentance? Wilt Thou refuse to receive this strayed sheep which returns from his wanderings, after Thou hast sought him so long, to bring him back to the fold? Wilt Thou reject this prodigal child, who comes to throw himself at Thy feet, after Thou hast so much grieved over his loss? Wilt Thou leave me forever to groan under the insupportable weight of sin, when Thou didst invite all those who are burdened to cast their load at Thy feet? Thou didst absolve the sinful woman when, kneeling before Thee, she implored Thy mercy; Thou didst remit the sins of the publican when he humbled himself in Thy Temple; Thou didst pardon the good thief when he acknowledged Thy power on the cross; and shall I be the only one to whom Thou wilt refuse grace? No, my adorable Saviour, not so. I trust that, however unworthy I have made myself of pardon, yet Thou wilt grant it to me, and that Thy precious blood will appease Thy Father’s wrath against me, and wash away the stain of my sins. Offer it, then, to Him for me, O Lord, and apply it so effectually to me that I may be entirely cleansed, and may be judged worthy to enter into the blessed mansions, where nothing defiled can be admitted. Amen.

Act Of Contrition For Venial Sin.

Prostrate at Thy feet, O Lord, I ask Thy pardon for all the failings and negligences which my frailty, my ignorance, and my malice have caused me to commit against Thy infinite majesty, especially for all those which I have perpetrated since my last confession. I am confounded, Lord, when I remember their number, and how much I have displeased and offended Thee by them. Ah, how little do I love Thee! how little do I love my neighbor! With what coldness, with what cowardice have I attended to Thy service! How much on the contrary have I yielded to self‐love, and how much I still retain of affection for creatures! Oh, how rarely do I enter into myself, and think seriously of Thee! How filled with distractions are my prayers, my meditations, and all my exercises of devotion! How much vanity enters into all my actions! how much attachment to my own will, my own ease, and my own convenience! Ah, Lord, draw me, I entreat Thee, out of the abyss of my misery, and purify me from the multitude of my sins. Art thou not overwhelmed with shame, O my soul, at the sight of the many offences which thou hast committed against thy sovereign Lord? Is it thus that thou servest a God of infinite majesty? Is this what thou hast promised Him so often, and to which thou art engaged by the holiness of thy vocation? Knowest thou not that the least sin is an offence to the infinite majesty of God, that it contains an infinite malice, that it is an evil which insults and offends thy most loving Father, thy most bountiful Saviour, thy most sweet and merciful Lord? Ah, if thou didst but know what venial sin really is; if thou didst but comprehend the stain which it produces upon thee, the deformity, the wounds it occasions in the eyes of God; the torment which it draws upon it in the other life, the danger to which it exposes thy salvation, thou wouldst give a thousand lives, if thou hadst them, rather than sully thy conscience with it. Thou feelest a difficulty in conceiving a bitter sorrow for thy ordinary faults, because they are venial; but this arises from thy want of light. The saints, to whom God communicated in abundance His supernatural inspirations, wept day and night bitterly over their faults, which were slighter than those thou dost commit daily.

It is enough, O my God, that slight as these sins appear, they have displeased and offended Thee, to induce me to conceive an extreme horror for them, and to make me employ all my efforts to correct them. I love Thee, O God of love; I praise and glorify Thee, O infinite majesty! O purity of heart, which cannot endure any attachment or affection to the slightest sin, how lovely art thou! How happy is he who is possessed of thee, for thou renderest us favorites of God, thou makest our souls temples of the Holy Ghost, and dost draw down upon us all the graces and blessings of heaven! I will omit no pains that I may obtain thee in future. But it is from Thee alone, O Lord, that I may hope for this happiness: I am too weak to aspire after it by my own efforts. Thou alone canst enrich me with a gift so precious; grant it to me, I pray Thee, O my God. Amen.

Good Resolutions.

Since I have had the misfortune to offend Thee, O my God, and that I cannot recall the past, I resolve at least, with the assistance of Thy grace, to repair it by henceforth carefully avoiding all that displeases Thee. I will shun sin, with its sources and occasions, particularly those sins into which my natural frailty most frequently leads me. I will adopt the means suggested by Thy minister for the correction of my faults, listening to his words as if spoken by Thyself. I know, O my God, what I should have to apprehend from the severity of Thy justice, if Thy anger had not been appeased by the merits of Jesus Christ. I feel that Thou wilt not reject the prayer of Thine innocent Son, Whose blood pleads for me, His guilty creature. In this hope, O God of goodness! I present myself at Thy tribunal, there to accuse myself of my sins, entirely, sincerely, and humbly, with full confidence that Thou wilt ratify in heaven the absolution pronounced on earth. Holy Virgin! Mother of grace and mercy! Refuge of sinners! intercede for me, that in this confession I may receive full pardon for the past, and grace to avoid sin in future. My good angel! who hast been the witness of my transgressions, help me to rise from my evil habits, and obtain for me strength against future relapses. Amen.

After Confession.

Prayer After Confession.

Can I persuade myself, O Lord! that, criminal as I was a few moments since, I am now, by the grace of the sacrament, purified from my sins! God of mercy! Who, by the absolution pronounced by Thy minister, hast cleansed me from my iniquities, and restored me to Thy favor, shedding on me Thy precious blood, and applying to my soul the virtue of Thy sacred wounds, how shall I acknowledge the wonders of Thy love! Truly, O Lord, are Thy mercies above all Thy works! How shall I prove my gratitude to Thee, O divine Benefactor of my soul! I will offer Thee this day, and all the days of my life, a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and incessantly extol Thy divine munificence. I will consecrate my whole existence to Thee, shunning sin, and loving Thee with my whole heart. Oh, permit not that I should again trample on the blood which saved me, and grieve the Heart which was broken for me. Give efficacy to my desire nevermore to offend Thee: fortify my weakness; preserve me from occasions of sin; grant me the grace of steady perseverance in my good resolutions. O Strength of the weak! in proportion as I distrust myself, so do I firmly hope in Thee; grant me, then, Thy all‐powerful assistance, on which alone I rely. Prostrate at Thy feet, O my Saviour! with the penitent Magdalen, I implore this, as the greatest of all favors. O Father of mercies! I know that Thou art reluctant to destroy the vessel of clay Thy hands have formed; strengthen me, then, against future relapses. Holy Virgin, support me by thy powerful protection; all ye angels and saints, intercede for my conversion and sanctification.

Offering of the Penance Enjoined at Confession.

Before leaving the chapel offer your penance, or such portion as you can, prefacing it with the following or some appropriate prayer.

O God of sanctity! of myself I have no means of satisfying Thy rigorous justice, but I offer Thee an abundant satisfaction in the infinite merits of a God‐man. I present Thee, O my God! the Sacred Heart of Thy Son, filled with sadness and pierced with wounds for me, that Thy justice may thus be appeased. I unite my sufferings to the bitter pangs of my dying Saviour. May the abundance of His merits, and the immense charity of His Heart, supply for the imperfection and insufficiency of my works. O Lord! Who hast severed my chains, strengthen me with Thy grace, that I may never resume them; that I may conquer the bad habits which have been so long opposed to Thy spirit, and courageously resist the temptations to which I have hitherto so easily yielded. Amen.

Aspirations, Some Of Which May Be Used Advantageously Before Or After Confession.

My Lord and my God, I sincerely acknowledge myself a vile and wretched sinner, unworthy to appear in Thy presence; but do Thou have mercy on me, and save me.

Most loving Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before Thee, and am unworthy to be called Thy child; make me as one of Thy servants, and may I for the future be ever faithful to Thee.

It truly grieves me, O my God, to have sinned, and so many times transgressed Thy law; but wash me now from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

I detest my sins, O Lord: I abhor my wickedness: I confess my ingratitude, and seek refuge in Thy mercy.

From this moment I purpose nevermore to offend Thee: oh, let me suffer all kinds of pain and infamy, nay, even death itself, rather than return to my former course of life, and live Thy enemy.

O loving Father, assist me by Thy grace, that I may bring forth worthy fruits of penance, and not suffer my sins to go unpunished.

Now, O Lord, I begin to live, not trusting in my own strength, or in the resolutions I make, but in the multitude of Thy mercies. Perfect, O God, the work which Thou hast begun in me. Thou hast given me peace and understanding; but, wretched sinner that I am, how ungratefully have I abused all Thy gifts! And yet now, with all the tenderness of a loving Father, Thou recallest me from sin, and rescuest me from hell and everlasting damnation.

Alas! my soul is full of anguish and confusion at the recollection of the many sins whereby I have offended Thee, my merciful Redeemer, made myself a slave to the devil, and provoked Thy anger.

Oh, that I had never transgressed Thy commandments, nor fallen into such an abyss of misery and calamity! Oh, that I had never sinned! Happy those souls who have preserved their innocence: oh, that I had been so happy!

But now I am resolved, with the help of Thy grace, to be more watchful over myself, to amend my failings, and fulfil Thy law. Look down on me with the eyes of mercy, O God, and blot out my sins.

Forgive me what is past, and, through Thine infinite goodness, secure me, by Thy grace, against all my wonted failings for the time to come.

My sins surpass in number the sands of the sea, and I confess myself, O Lord, unworthy of Thy mercy; but Thy goodness is above all my offences.

Thou hast declared, O Lord, that there is joy in heaven for the conversion of a sinner; grant me, then, the grace of true repentance, and let heaven rejoice at my amendment.

Thou willest not the death of a sinner, but that he be converted and live. Grant me, then, that spiritual life which I need; for behold, O Lord, I sincerely desire to live to Thee.

Thou didst come, O dear Redeemer, not to call the just, but sinners, to repentance; behold a miserable sinner here before Thee: oh, draw me powerfully to Thyself.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to Thy great mercy; and, according to the multitude of Thy tender mercies, blot out my iniquities. Sprinkle me with Thy precious blood, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Let not Thy precious blood, my dear Saviour, be shed for me in vain; but may it now bring forth in me the fruit of sincere repentance, and open to me the way to life everlasting.

How great is Thy goodness, O Lord, in having so long spared such a worthless servant, and waited with so much patience for his amendment! What return shall I make for Thy infinite mercies? Oh, let this mercy be added to the rest, that I may nevermore offend Thee: this single favor I earnestly beg of Thee, O Lord, viz., that I may for the future _renounce my own way to follow Thine_.

Help me, O Lord my God, and have compassion on my sinful soul. Amen.

Communion.

Before Communion.

A Prayer Which May Be Said Some Days Before Communion.

O Lord Jesus Christ! Whom I aspire to receive in a few days within the temple of my soul, I come to implore that Thou wilt Thyself prepare Thy destined abode, cleansing it from every stain, and enriching it with ornaments worthy of Thy presence. Grant me an increase of faith, hope, and charity; grant me true contrition, and profound humility; grant me to sigh with holy Simeon for Thy coming, and, like him, to centre in Thee alone the ardent affections and fervent desires of my heart. O Lord! Whose throne is surrounded by cherubim and seraphim! Whose presence is felt by all creation, Whose spotless sanctity the angels themselves contemplate with awe, I acknowledge my extreme unworthiness to receive Thee; but animated with lively confidence in Thy paternal goodness, I conjure Thee to prepare me Thyself, and to supply from the treasury of Thy abundant mercies for all my deficiencies. O Thou Who hast come on earth to save me, and Who by Thy sufferings hast opened heaven to receive me, grant me grace to profit by all Thou hast done and endured for my salvation!

Aspirations Which Should Be Used The Days Preceding Communion.

As the wearied hart pines for the refreshing water, so does my soul thirst for Thee, O Lord!

My soul sighs for the possession of God; when shall I come and appear before Him? Lord, I come to Thee; but how shall I prepare the way for Thee? I am not worthy that Thou shouldst enter under my roof; say but the word, and my soul shall be healed.

How can I receive Thee into a heart so full of iniquities, and yet how can I abstain from the living Bread come down from heaven to give life to the world?

Have pity, I beseech Thee, on me, a sinner; and deign to prepare Thyself a dwelling in my heart; grant that from Thy adorable body may proceed a virtue to give strength and life to my soul.

Prepare me for Thyself, O Jesus! and render me worthy of Thy visit; look on me, O Lord! and inflame me with Thy love; that I may run after the odor of Thy perfumes.

Grant me humility of spirit, and pure charity, to render me worthy of participating in the blessed food of heaven.

I wish to attract Thee by my love, and to enjoy Thy presence in the centre of my soul. O my God! my life! my all! I beseech Thee to come into my heart, and to unite me to Thyself forever.

Act Of Faith.

“Behold, He cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping over the hills.”—Cant. ii. 8. Ah, my most amiable Saviour, over how many, what rough and craggy mountains, hast Thou had to pass in order to come and unite Thyself to me by the means of this Most Holy Sacrament! Thou, from being God, hadst to become man; from being immense, to become a babe; from being Lord, to become a servant. Thou hadst to pass from the bosom of Thy eternal Father to the womb of a Virgin; from heaven into a stable; from the throne of glory to the gibbet of a criminal. And on this very morning Thou wilt come from Thy seat in heaven to dwell in my bosom.

“Behold He standeth behind our wall, looking through the windows, looking through the lattices,” Cant. ii. 9. Behold, O my soul, thy loving Jesus, burning with the same love with which He loved thee when dying for thee on the cross, is now concealed in the Most Blessed Sacrament under the sacred species: and what doing? “Looking through the lattices.” As an ardent lover, desirous to see his love corresponded with, from the Host, as from within closed lattices, whence He sees without being seen, He is looking at you, who are this morning about to feed upon His divine flesh. He observes your thoughts, what it is that you love, what you desire, what you seek for, and what offerings you are about to make Him.

Awake, then, my soul, and prepare to meet thy Jesus; and, in the first place, by faith say to Him: So, then, my beloved Redeemer, in a few moments Thou art coming to me? O hidden God, unknown to the greater part of men, I believe, I confess, I adore Thee in the Most Holy Sacrament as my Lord and Saviour! And in acknowledgment of this truth I would willingly lay down my life. Thou comest to enrich me with Thy graces, and to unite Thyself all to me; how great, then, should be my confidence in this Thy so loving visit!

Act Of Confidence.

My soul, expand thy heart. Thy Jesus can do thee every good, and, indeed, loves thee. Hope thou for great things from this thy Lord, Who, urged by love, comes all love to thee. Yes, my dear Jesus, my hope, I trust in Thy goodness, that, in giving Thyself to me this morning, Thou wilt enkindle in my poor heart the beautiful flame of Thy pure love, and a real desire to please Thee; so that, from this day forward, I may never will anything but what Thou willest.

Act Of Love.

Ah, my God, my God, true and only love of my soul, and what more couldst Thou have done to be loved by me? To die for me was not enough for Thee, my Lord; Thou wast pleased to institute this great Sacrament in order to give Thyself all to me, and thus bind and unite Thyself heart to heart with so loathsome and ungrateful a creature as I am. And what is more, Thou Thyself invitest me to receive Thee, and desirest so much that I should do so! O boundless love! incomprehensible love! infinite love! a God would give Himself all to me!

My soul, believest thou this? And what doest thou? what sayest thou? O God, O God, O infinite amiability, only worthy object of all loves, I love Thee with my whole heart, I love Thee above all things, I love Thee more than myself, more than my life! Oh, could I but see Thee loved by all! Oh, could I but cause Thee to be loved by all hearts as much as Thou deservest! I love Thee, O most amiable God, and I unite my miserable heart in loving Thee, to the hearts of the seraphim, to the heart of the most blessed Virgin Mary, to the Heart of Jesus, Thy most loving and beloved Son. So that, O infinite good, I love Thee with the love with which the saints, with which Mary, with which Jesus love Thee. And I love Thee only because Thou art worthy of it, and to give Thee pleasure. Depart, all earthly affections, which are not for God, depart, from my heart. Mother of fair love, most holy Virgin Mary, help me to love that God Whom thou dost so ardently desire to see loved!

Act Of Humility.

Then, my soul, thou art even now about to feed on the most sacred flesh of Jesus! And art thou worthy? My God, and who am I, and Who art Thou? I indeed know and confess Whom Thou art Who givest Thyself to me; but dost Thou know what I am who am about to receive Thee?