Part 8

But whoever would possess themselves of the true history of the _swapping mallard_ of All-Souls, must read the "_Complete Vindication of the Mallard of All-Souls_," published in 1751, by Dr. Buckler, sub-warden, "a most incontrovertible proof of his wit," who for that and other, his effusions, was usually styled, by way of eminence, says Chalmers, in his History of Oxford, "The BUCKLER of the Mallardians." His _Vindication_, it is justly observed, is "one of the finest pieces of _irony_ in our language." Of course, he is highly indignant at the "injurious suggestions of Mr. Pointer (contained in the foregoing quotations,) who insinuates, that the huge _mallard_ was no better than a _goose-a-gander_, "_magis senex_," &c.; and after citing the very words of Mr. P., he breaks out, "Thus the _mallard of All-Souls_, whose REMEMBRANCE has, for these three centuries, been held in the highest veneration, is, by this _forged hypothesis_, degraded into a GOOSE, or, at least, ranked in the _same class_ with that ridiculous animal, and the whole story on which the rites and ceremonies of the _mallard_ depends, is represented as _merely traditional_; more than a hint is given of the _mischievousness_ of the bird, whatever he be; and all is founded on a _pretended longevity_, in support of which fiction the great names of Lord _Bacon_ and Mr. _Willughby_ are called in, to make the vilifying insinuation pass the more plausibly upon the world." "We live in an age (he adds,) when the _most serious_ subjects are treated with an air of ridicule; I shall therefore set this _important affair_ in its true light, and produce authorities "sufficient to convince the most obstinate incredulity; and first, I shall beg leave to transcribe a passage from _Thomas Walsingham_, (see _Nicholson's_ Historical Library,) a _monk_ of _St. Alban's_, and Regius Professor of History in that monastery, about the year 1440. This writer is well known among the historians for his _Historia Brevis_, written in Latin, and published both by _Camden_ and Archbishop _Parker_. But the tract I am quoting is in English, and entitled, OF WONDERFUL AND SURPRISING EVENTYS, and, as far as I can find, has never yet been printed. The eighth chapter of his fifth book begins thus:--

"'Ryghte well worthie of Note is thilke famous Tale of the _All-Soulen_ Mallarde, the whiche, because it bin acted in our Daies, and of a suretye vouched into me, I will in fewe Wordys relate.

"'Whereas _Henrye Chicele_, the late renowned Arch-Bishope of _Cantorburye_, had minded to founden a Collidge in _Oxenforde_ for the hele of his Soule and the Soules of all those who peryshed in the Warres in _Fraunce_, fighteing valiantlye under our most gracious _Henrye_ the fifthe, moche was he distraughten concerning the Place he myghte choose for thilke Purpose. Him thynketh some whylest how he myghte place it withouten the eastern Parte of the Citie, both for the Pleasauntnesse of the Meadowes and the clere Streamys therebye runninge. Agen him thynketh odir whylest howe he mote builden it on the Northe Side for the heleful Ayre there coming from the fieldis. Now while he doubteth thereon he dreamt, and behold there appearyth unto him one of righte godelye Personage, saying and adviseing him as howe he myghte placen his Collidge in the Highe Strete of the Citie, nere unto the Chirche of our blessed Ladie the Virgine, and in Witnesse that it was sowthe and no vain and deceitful Phantasie, wolled him to laye the first Stone of the foundation at the corner which turnyth towards the _Cattys-strete_, where in delvinge he myghte of a Suretye finde a schwoppinge Mallarde imprison'd in the Sinke or Sewere, wele yfattened and almost ybosten. Sure Token of the Thrivaunce of his future Collidge.

"'Moche doubteth he when he awoke on the nature of this Vision, whether he mote give hede thereto or not. Then advisyth he thereon with monie Docters and learned Clerkys, all sayd howe he oughte to maken Trial upon it. Then comyth he to _Oxenforde_, and on a Daye fix'd, after Masse seyde, proceedeth he in solemn wyse, with Spades and Pickaxes for the nonce provided, to the Place afore spoken of. But long they had not digged ere they herde, as it myghte seme, within the wam of the Erthe, horrid Strugglinges and Flutteringes, and anon violent Quaakinges of the distressyd Mallarde. Then _Chicele_ lyfteth up his hondes and seyth _Benedicite_, &c. &c. Nowe when they broughte him forthe behold the Size of his Bodie was as that of a Bustarde or an Ostriche, and moche wonder was thereat, for the lyke had not been been scene in this Londe, ne in anie odir.'

"Here," says the Doctor, "we have the matter of fact proved from an _authentic record_, wherein there is not one word said of the _longevity_ of the _mallard_, upon a supposition of which Mr. _Pointer_ has founded his whole _libel_. The _mallard_, 'tis true, has grown to a great size. But what then? Will not the richness and plenty of the diet he wallowed in very well account for this, without supposing any great number of years of imprisonment? The words of the historian, I am sure, rather discourage any such supposition. _Sure token_, says he, _of the thrivance of his future college!_ which seems to me to intimate the great _progress_ the _mallard_ had made in fattening, in a short space of time. But be this as it will, there is not the least hint of a _goose_ in the case. No: the impartial _Walsingham_ had far higher notions of the _mallard_, and could form no comparison of him, without borrowing his idea from some of the most noble birds, the _bustard_ and the _ostridge_." Turning to our author's comment on the last passage of Mr. Pointer, he adds, "However, this is certain, this _mallard_ is the accidental occasion of a _great gaudy_ once a year, and great _mirth_; for on this occasion is always sung a _merry old song_."--"_Rem tam seriam--tam negligenter_," exclaims the Doctor; "Would any one but this author have represented so _august_ a ceremony as the _Celebration of the Mallard_ by those vulgar circumstances of eating and drinking, and singing a _merry old song_? Doth he not know that the greatest states, even those of _Rome_ and _Carthage_, had their infant foundations distinguished by incidents very much resembling those of the _mallard_, and that the commemoration of them was celebrated with hymns and processions, and made a part of their _religious observances_? Let me refresh his memory with a circumstance or two relating to the head of _Tolus_ (will serve to elucidate the fourth line of the second verse of the _merry old song_) which was discovered at the foundation of the _Capitol_. The _Romans_ held the remembrance of it in the greatest veneration, as will appear from the following quotation from _Arnobius_, in a fragment preserved by _Lipsius_:--'Quo die (says he, speaking of the annual _celebrity_) congregati sacerdotes, et eorum ministri, totum Capitolinum collem circumibant, cantilenam quandam sacram de _Toli_ cujusdam capite, dum molirentur fundamenta invento, recitantes deinde ad coenam verè pontificiam se recipientes,' &c. Part of this _merry old song_ (as Mr. P. would call it) is preserved by _Vossius_, in his book _De Sacris Cantilenis Veterum Romanorum_. The chorus of it shows so much the simplicity of the _ancient Roman poetry_ that I cannot forbear transcribing it for the benefit of my reader, as the book is too scarce to be in every one's hand. It runs thus:

TOLI _caput venerandum_! Magnum caput et mirandum! TOLI _caput resonamus_.

I make no doubt but that every _true critic_ will be highly pleased with it. For my own part, it gives me a particular pleasure to reflect on the resemblance there is between this _precious relique_ of antiquity, and the chorus of the _Mallard_.

_Oh, by the blood of King_ Edward, _It was a swapping, swapping_ Mallard!

The _greatness_ of the subject, you see, is the Thing celebrated in both, and the manner of doing it is as nearly equal as the different geniuses of the two languages will permit. Let me hope, therefore, that Mr. P. when he exercises his thoughts again on this subject, will learn to think more highly of the _mallard_, than of a _common gaudy_, or _merry making_. For it will not be just to suppose that the gentlemen of _All-Souls_ can have less regard for the memory of so noble a bird, found _all alive_, than the Romans had for the _dead skull_ of the _Lord knows whom_."

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ANOTHER OXFORD DREAM PRECEDED THE FOUNDATION OF ST. JOHN'S COLLEGE.

Dr. Plott relates, in his History of Oxfordshire, that the founder of St. John's College, Oxford, Sir Thomas White, alderman and merchant tailor of London, originally designed the establishment of his college at his birth-place, Reading, in Berkshire. But being warned in a dream, that he should build a college for the education of youth, in religion and learning, near a place where he should find two elms growing out of the same root, he first proceeded to Cambridge, and finding no such tree, he repaired to Oxford, where he discovered one, which answered the description in his dream, near St. Bernard's College. Elated with joy, he dismounted from his horse, and, on his knees, returned thanks for the fortunate issue of his pious search. Dr. Joseph Warton seems to throw a doubt upon Dr. Plott's narration, observing, that he was _fond of the marvellous_. The college was founded in the middle of the sixteenth century, and Doctor Plott says, that the tree was in a flourishing state in his day, 1677, when Dr. Leving was president of St. John's College. Mr. Pointer observes, in his _Oxoniensis Academia_, "The _triple_ trees that occasioned the foundation of the college, &c. did stand between the library and the garden. One of them died in 1626."

The following letter, addressed to the Society by Sir Thomas, the founder, a fortnight before his death, the 11th of February, 1566, is a relic worth printing, though it does "savour of death's heads."

"_Mr. President, with the Fellows and Schollers._

"I have mee recommended unto you even from the bottome of my hearte, desyringe the Holye Ghoste may be amonge you untill the end of the worlde, and desyringe Almightie God, that everie one of you may love one another as brethren; and I shall desyre you all to applye to your learninge, and so doinge, God shall give you his blessinge bothe in this worlde and the worlde to come. And, furthermore, if anye variance or strife doe arise amonge you, I shall desyre you, for God's love, to pacifye it as much as you may; and that doinge, I put no doubt but God shall blesse everye one of you. And this shall be the last letter that ever I shall sende unto you; and therefore I shall desyre everye one of you, to take a copy of yt for my sake. No more to you at this tyme; but the Lord have you in his keeping until the end of the worlde. Written the 27th day of January, 1566. I desyre you all to pray to God for mee, that I may ende my life with patience, and that he may take mee to his mercye.

"By mee, "SIR THOMAS WHITE, "_Knighte, Alderman of London, and_ "_Founder of St. John's College, in Oxford_."

* * * * *

A POINT OF PRECEDENCE SETTLED.

A dispute once arose between the Doctors of Law and Medicine, in Cambridge, as to which had the right of precedence. "Does the _thief_ or _hangman_ take precedence at executions?" asked the Chancellor, on reference to his judgment. "The former," answered a wag. "Then let the Doctors of Law have precedence," said the Chancellor.

* * * * *

COMPLIMENTS TO THE LEARNED OF BOTH UNIVERSITIES.

"The names which learned men bear for any length of time," says Dr. Parr, "are generally well founded." _Dr. Chillingworth_, for his able and convincing writings in support of the Protestant Church, was styled

"MALLEUS PAPISTARUM."

_Dr. Sutherland_, the friend and literary associate of Dr. Mead, and others, obtained the _soubriquet_ of

"THE WALKING DICTIONARY."

John Duns, better known as the celebrated _Duns Scotus_, who was bred at Merton College, Oxford, and is said to have been buried alive, was called

DOCTOR SUBTILIS;

Another Mertonian, named Occam, his successor and opponent, was named

DOCTOR INVINCIBILIS;

A third was the famous Sir Henry Savile, who had the title of

PROFOUND

Bestowed upon him: and a fourth of the Society of Merton College, was the celebrated Reformer, John Wickliffe, who was called

DOCTOR EVANGELICUS.

Wood, says, that Dr. John Reynolds, President of Corpus Christi College, Oxford, died in 1607, "one of so prodigious a memory, that he might have been called

THE WALKING LIBRARY;"

To "see whom," he adds, "was to command virtue itself." If Duns Scotus was justly called "the most subtle doctor," says Parr, Roger Bacon,

"THE WONDERFUL,"

Bonaventure "the Seraphim," Aquinas the "Universal and Evangelical," surely Hooker has with equal, if not superior justice, obtained the name of

"THE JUDICIOUS."

Bishop Louth, in his preface to his English Grammar, has bestowed the highest praise upon the purity of Hooker's style. Bishop Warburton, in his book on the Alliance between Church and State, often quotes him, and calls him, "the excellent, the admirable, the best good man of our order."

* * * * *

JOHN LELAND,

Senior, says Wood, who in the reigns of Henry V. and VI. taught and read in Peckwaters Ynne, while it flourished with grammarians, "was one so well seen in verse and prose, and all sorts of humanity, that he went beyond the learnedest of his age, and was so noted a grammarian, that this verse was made upon him:--

'Ut rosa flos florum sic Leland grammaticorum;'

Which," he adds, "with some alteration, was fastened upon John Leland, junior, by Richard Croke, of Cambridge, at what time the said Leland became a Protestant, and thereupon," observes Wood (as if it were a necessary consequence,) "fell mad:"

'Ut rosa flos florum sic Leland flos fatuorum.'

Which being replied to by Leland (In Encom. Eruditorum in Anglia, &c. per Jo. Leland's edit. Lond. 1589,) was answered by a friend of Croke's in verse also. And here by the way I must let the reader know that it was the fashion of that age (temp. Hen. VIII.) to buffoon, or wit it after that fashion, not only by the younger sort of students, but by bishops and grave doctors. The learned Walter Haddon, Master of Trinity Hall, Cambridge, and afterwards President of Magdalen College, Oxford, in an epistle that he wrote to Dr. Cox, Almoner to Edward IV. (afterwards Bishop of Ely) "doth give him great commendations of his actions and employments, and further addeth (in his Lucubrations) that when he was at leisure to recreate his mind, he would, rather than be idle, 'Scevolæ et Lælii more--aut velitationem illam Croci cum Lelando perridiculam, vel reliquas Oxonienses nugas (ita enim profecto sunt,' saith he,) 'evolvere voluerit, &c.' Dr. Tresham, also, who was many years Commissary or Vice-Chancellor of the University, is said by (Humfredus in Vita Juelli) 'ludere in re seria, &c.'" When Queen Elizabeth was asked her opinion of the scholarship of the two great cotemporaries, the learned Buchanan and Dr. Walter Haddon, the latter accounted the best writer of Latin of his age, she dexterously avoided the imputation of partiality by replying: "_Buchannum omnibus antepono, Haddonum nemini postpono_."

* * * * *

LORD MOUNTJOY

Was the friend and cotemporary of Erasmus, at Queen's College, Cambridge, and was so highly esteemed by that great man, that he called him, "_Inter doctos nobilissimus, inter nobiles doctissimus, inter utrosque optimus_." His noble friend once entreated him to

ATTACK THE ERRORS OF LUTHER.

"My Lord," replied the sage, "nothing is more easy than to say Luther is mistaken: nothing more difficult than to prove him so."

VIR EGREGIE DOCTUS,

Was the _soubriquet_ conferred upon the celebrated Etonian, Cantab, Reformer, Provost of King's College, and Bishop of Hereford, Dr. Edward Fox, by the learned Bishop Godwin. Another Etonian and Cantab, Dr. Aldrich, Bishop of Carlisle, received from Erasmus, when young, the equally just and elegant compliment of

"BLANDÆ ELOQUENTIÆ JUVENEM."

* * * * *

A POINT OF ETIQUETTE.

Many humorous stories are told of the absurd height to which the observance of _etiquette_ has been carried at both Oxford and Cambridge. In my time, you might meet _a good fellow_ at a _wine party_, crack your joke with him, hob-nob, &c., but, unless introduced, you would have been stared at with the most vacant wonderment if you attempted to recognise him next day. It is told of men of both universities, that a scholar walking on the banks of the Isis, or Cam, fell into the river, and was in the act of drowning, when another son of _Alma-Mater_ came up, and observing his perilous situation, exclaimed, "What a pity it is I have not the honour of knowing the gentleman, that I might save him!" One version of the story runs, that the said scholars met by accident on the banks of the Nile or Ganges, I forget which, when the catastrophe took place; we may, therefore, very easily imagine the presence of either a crocodile or an alligator to complete the group.

Wood, in his Annals of Oxford, has the following anecdote of

THE VALUE OF A SYLLABLE.

"The masters of olden time at Athens, and afterwards at Oxford, were called _Sophi_, and the scholars _Sophistæ_; but the _masters_ taking it in scorn that the _scholars_ should have a larger name than they, called themselves _Philosophi_,--that is, lovers of science, and so got the advantage of the scholars by _one syllable_." Every body has heard of Foote's celebrated motto for a tailor friend of his, about to sport his coat of arms,---"_List, list, O list!_" But every body has not heard, probably, though it is noticed in his memoir, extant in Nichols's Literary Anecdotes, that the learned Cambridge divine and antiquary, Dr. _Cocks Macro_, having applied to a Cambridge acquaintance for an appropriate motto to his coat of arms, was pithily answered with

"COCKS MAY CROW."

Every Cantab remembers and regrets the early death of the accomplished scholar, Charles Skinner Matthews, M.A., late Fellow of Downing College, who was "the familiar" of the present Sir J. C. Hobhouse, and of the late Lord Byron. He was not more accomplished than facetious, nor, according to one of Lord Byron's letters, more facetious than "beloved." Speaking of his university _freaks_, his lordship says, "when Sir Henry Smith was expelled from Cambridge, for a row with a tradesman named "_Hiron_," Matthews solaced himself with shouting under Hiron's window every evening--

"Ah me! what perils do environ The man who meddles with _hot Hiron_!"

He was also of that

BAND OF PROFANE SCOFFERS

who, under the auspices of ----, used to rouse Lord Mansel (late Bishop of Bristol) from his slumbers in the Lodge of Trinity (College;) and when he appeared at the window, foaming with wrath, and crying out, "I know you, gentlemen; I know you!" were wont to reply, "We beseech thee to hear us, good _Lort_!--Good _Lort_ deliver us!" (_Lort_ was his Christian name.) And his lordship might have added, the pun was the more poignant, as the Bishop was either a _Welshman_ himself, or had a Welsh sponsor, in the person of the late Greek Professor, Dr. _Lort_. Punning upon sacred subjects, however, is decidedly in bad taste; yet, in the reign of the Stuarts, neither king nor nobles were above it. Our illustrious Cantab, Bacon, writing to Prince, afterwards Charles the First, in the midst of his disastrous _poverty_, says, he hopes, "as the father was his _Creator_, the son will be his _Redeemer_." Yet this great man

DID NOT THE LESS REVERENCE RELIGION,

But said, towards the close of his chequered life, that "a little smattering in philosophy would lead a man to Atheism, but a thorough insight into it will lead a man back to a First Cause; and that the first principle of religion is right reason; and seriously professed, all his studies and inquisitions, he durst not die with any other thoughts than those religion taught, as it is professed among the Christians." These incidents remind me that

THE MEMORY OF JEMMY GORDON,

"Who, to save from rustication, Crammed the dunce with declamation,"