CHAPTER IV
STRUCTURE AND STYLE IN NEWS STORIES
=Writing the News.= After the reporter has found the news and has collected all the important details concerning it, he must write it up for publication. To present the news effectively is as important as to get it. Many a good piece of news has been spoiled in the writing. The raw material of fact must be transformed skillfully into the finished product of the news story. The reporter is supposed to be able to write an adequate report. When he does not, the copy-reader or the “rewrite man” is called upon to make good the reporter’s failure. Ordinarily the copy-reader needs only to polish off the rough edges. The work of the good reporter ought to require little or no editing. The careless, slovenly writer is not a welcome addition to the staff of any paper. The less editing a reporter’s copy requires the more satisfactory will he be.
=Essentials of Good Copy.= The first essential of good copy is legibility. Typewritten copy, double or triple spaced, is always preferred. In long-hand writing, likewise, liberal space should be left between the lines and for margins. In such copy the “u’s” should be underscored and the “n’s” overscored in order to differentiate them. Proper names in long-hand copy should be printed to avoid errors in spelling. If the story is begun halfway down the first page, the copy-reader will have enough space on that sheet to write the headline. Quotation marks, or “quotes” as they are called, should be enclosed in half-circles, thus, “⁾stunt,⁽” to indicate whether they are beginning or end marks. A small cross may be used to advantage for a period. Numerical figures and abbreviations that are to be spelled out should be enclosed in a circle. Each paragraph should be indented, and the first word of it should be preceded by an inverted “L,” thus ⅃; if a new paragraph is desired where there was none in the copy as first written, the paragraph sign (¶) should be used. At the end of every complete story should be placed the end mark (#); if the story is incomplete, the word “more” is written beneath the last sentence. Additions to follow the last sentence of the story are marked with the name of the story and the abbreviation for additions; thus, “Add 2 Hotel Fire” means that the piece of copy is the second addition to the hotel fire story; “Add 1 Wilkins Suicide” means the first addition to the story of Wilkins’ suicide. Additions to be inserted in the story are marked “Insert A—Johnson Will Case” for the first insert in the “Will Case” story; “Insert B—Trolley Collision” for the second insert in the collision story. The place at which the new piece of copy is to be inserted is often indicated thus: “Insert after first paragraph of lead—Murder Trial.” Copy must never be written on both sides of the paper.
=Style and Structure.= In the writing of the news story two elements must be considered: (1) the style; and (2) the structure. The first has to do with the expression; the second with the arrangement of material.
=Clearness.= Clearness is the first requisite of newspaper style as it is of all writing. Newspapers are read rapidly, and rapid reading is possible only when the words yield their ideas with little effort on the part of the reader. The less the effort required to get the meaning, the more easily and rapidly can he read. Clearness is most readily obtained by comparative simplicity of style. However effective elaborate sentence construction, learned diction, and carefully wrought figures of speech may be in other kinds of writing, they ordinarily have no place in the news story. This does not mean that literary devices must be abandoned in newspaper writing or that newspaper style is bald and unattractive. News stories demand all the literary ability that the reporter possesses, for besides presenting the news clearly they must be interesting and attractive. Effectiveness in a simple style lies in that choice and arrangement of words which enables the reader to get the meaning with the least effort and the greatest interest.
=Conciseness.= Conciseness is the second essential of the style of the news story. This, again, does not mean that only the bare skeleton of news is required, for good news stories are clothed with flesh and blood to make them real and to give them human interest. Conciseness demands that not a single needless word shall be used, that every detail shall be necessary for the effectiveness of presentation, and that the length of the story shall be exactly proportionate to its interest and to its news value. If the reporter tests the value of each detail and can give a good reason for using it, he will not go far wrong as to the length of his story. If he can give an equally good reason for every word that he uses, his style is likely to have the desired conciseness.
=Originality.= Originality of expression in newspaper work is the quality that distinguishes the good writer from the fair and the mediocre ones. Constant rapid writing on similar subjects leads to the use of the same words and phrases over and over again. Trite, hackneyed expressions can be used with less effort and greater rapidity than is required to find new and fresh phrases, unless the writer has accustomed himself to think clearly and accurately in concrete, specific terms. The only way that the newspaper writer can make his work rise above the level of the average is by seeing more in persons and events than does the ordinary reporter and by expressing what he sees with greater freshness and individuality. The classic bit of advice given by Flaubert to De Maupassant, the French master of the short story, is of the greatest value to the newspaper reporter who would cultivate in his style both conciseness and originality. It is in part as follows:
Everything which one desires to express must be looked at with sufficient attention, and during a sufficiently long time, to discover in it some aspect no one has as yet seen or described. The smallest object contains something unknown. Find it.
Whatever one wishes to say, there is only one noun to express it, only one verb to give it life, only one adjective to qualify it. Search, then, till that noun, that verb, that adjective are discovered; never be content with “very nearly”; never have recourse to tricks, however happy; or to buffooneries of language, to avoid a difficulty.
This is the way to become original.
=Typographical “Style.”= For such details of typographical “style” as capitalization, abbreviation, hyphenation, and use of numerical figures, every newspaper has a set of special rules, generally printed in a so-called “style book,” that are invariably followed by copy-readers and compositors. When a reporter begins work on a newspaper, he should study carefully all these peculiarities, so that he may follow them in preparing his copy. He also should learn as quickly as possible the paper’s printed style rules, or, if there are no printed rules, he should study the news stories as examples of the practice followed in the office. Some newspapers have an “index expurgatorius,” or list of words and phrases to be avoided. These “don’ts” generally embody common errors of diction, but they not infrequently include also some pet aversions of the editor-in-chief, the managing editor, or the city editor, that are matters of preference rather than of good usage. Reporters will do well to observe carefully how their stories are changed by editors and copy-readers, and in all matters of style should make their work conform to the preferences of their superiors.
=Paragraph Length.= One of the distinctive peculiarities of newspaper style is the brevity of the paragraph. The width of newspaper columns permits about seven words in a line. The result is that a paragraph of the length usual in prose style generally, i.e., from 150 to 250 words, would occupy from 20 to 35 lines and would appear disproportionately long for its width. Paragraphs that are long, or appear to be so, make a piece of writing look solid and heavy, hence uninviting to the rapid reader. In newspaper work, accordingly, it has come to be recognized that shorter paragraphs are more effective. Paragraphs of from 50 to 150 words are considered the normal type for newspaper writing.
This means that often a paragraph, and particularly the first paragraph of a news story, consists of but one sentence. Paragraphs of two or three sentences are very frequent. A comparison of the structure of these short paragraphs with that of paragraphs in other kinds of prose, shows that what would be subdivisions, each with a sub-topic, in the common type of longer paragraphs, become independent paragraphs in newspaper style. The unity of the newspaper paragraph, therefore, is not less marked because of its brevity.
=Sentence Length.= Journalistic style has sometimes been said to be characterized by short, disconnected sentences that produce a choppy, staccato effect. Kipling, for example, is often described as “journalistic” in his abrupt short-sentence style. As a matter of fact the style of the American news story is marked neither by distinctly short sentences nor by particularly abrupt transitions. The sentences in news stories, on the whole, are as long as those in modern English prose generally. The first sentence of the story, which gives the gist of the news contained, is many times from 50 to 75 words in length, and is therefore to be classed as decidedly long.
=Emphatic Beginnings.= The emphasis given by initial position is especially important in news stories. The beginning rather than the end is the most emphatic position. The reason is obvious. As the eye glances down the column in reading rapidly, the first group of words in each paragraph stands out prominently. Any climactic effect with the strongest emphasis at the end is lost to the rapid reader unless he follows the development of the thought from sentence to sentence to the close of the paragraph. The important element if placed at the end of a long sentence, likewise, loses its emphasis for a rapid reader.
This principle of emphasis at the beginning determines the structure of the news story. Into the first paragraph, as the place of greatest prominence, is put the most important part of the news. Into the first group of words of the first sentence of each paragraph is placed, if possible, the most significant idea of the paragraph. The least important details go to the latter part of the story, so that unless the reader is particularly interested he need not follow through the account to the end; and so that, if necessary, parts may be cut off entirely without causing any loss that will be evident. The fitting together into columns of stories of different lengths after they are in type often requires that the last paragraph or paragraphs be cut off. This possibility adds to the importance of putting the least significant elements into the latter part of the story, and of concentrating the essentials at the beginning. It also requires that each paragraph be so rounded that it may serve as the end of the story if those following it have to be thrown away.
=The “Lead.”= The beginning, or “lead,” of the story is the part that requires the greatest skill in the choice, the arrangement, and the expression of the essential elements of the piece of news. Nowhere is it truer than in the news story that “Well begun is half done.” In the typical “lead” the reporter gives the reader in clear, concise, yet interesting form the gist of the whole story, emphasizing, or “playing up,” the “feature” of it that is most attractive. The “lead,” as the substance of the story, should tell the reader the nature of the event, the persons or things concerned, as well as the time, the place, the cause, and the result. These essential points are given in answer to the questions: What? Who? When? Where? Why? How?
The “lead” may consist of one paragraph or of several paragraphs according to the number and complexity of the details in the story. For short stories a one-paragraph “lead” consisting of a single sentence is often sufficient, because the gist of the news can be given in from 30 to 75 words. For a long, complex story consisting of several parts, each under a separate heading, an independent lead of a number of paragraphs may be written as a general introduction to the different parts. Usually, however, the lead is an integral part of the story, giving the substance of the news in a paragraph or two, in such form that all the rest of the story may be cut off without depriving the reader of any essential point.
=“Playing up the Feature.”= Before the reporter begins to write, he must determine what is the most significant and interesting phase of his piece of news; in other words, the “feature” of it. It is this phase that must be emphasized, “played up” or “featured,” as newspaper men say. As the “feature” of a piece of news is the most interesting phase of it, the reporter must apply to his raw materials of fact the tests of news values discussed in Chapter II. The element of his news, therefore, that will be of greatest interest to the greatest number as measured by these tests, he should select as the “feature.” In addition to the “feature” he must present all the important facts that are necessary to make clear the “feature” and its relation to the rest of the news of which it is a part.
In accordance with the principle of emphasis at the beginning of the paragraph, the “feature” of the story should be placed in the first group of words of the opening sentence of the lead. Although any of the essential points may be “played up,” some are less likely than others to deserve that emphasis. The time of the event, for example, is generally not a significant point in the story, and therefore stories should seldom begin with “Early this morning,” “At two o’clock this afternoon,” “Yesterday,” or similar unimportant phrases. Occasionally the exact hour of some action, such as the adjournment of Congress or of the state legislature, which has been anticipated but could not be definitely fixed in advance, has enough interest to warrant giving it the initial position in the lead. The names of persons should not be placed at the beginning unless they are sufficiently prominent to deserve this emphasis. When a man is not known to a number of readers, his name is of less interest than details of the news in which he is involved. Names of prominent persons, on the other hand, attract the desired attention at the beginning of the story. The place of the event is generally indicated by the date line in telegraph news, and is not played up in local news stories except in unusual cases. News stories should not begin with “At 116 Western Avenue,” “In the lobby of the Manhattan Theatre,” “On the corner of Williams and Chestnut streets,” “Near the New York Central Station,” for rarely is the exact location the most important point. Peculiar or important causes, results, or circumstances are likely to be the best features, because, as has been said, unusual, curious, new phases of activities have the greatest interest for most readers. How each of the different essential elements of the lead may be given emphasis in the initial position is shown in the following examples:
The Time
| At 3:30 this afternoon the session of| |the legislature came to an end when the| |senate adjourned sine die. |
The Place
| In the lion’s cage of Barnum’s circus| |was performed last night the marriage| |ceremony uniting Miss Ada Rene,| |trapezist, and Arthur Hunt, keeper of| |the lions, Justice of the Peace Henry| |Duplain officiating from a safe distance| |outside the cage. |
The Name
| Governor Wilkins denied the rumor today| |that he will call a special session of| |the legislature to consider the defects| |in the primary election law passed at| |the last session. |
The Event
| Fire completely destroyed the four-| |story warehouse of the Marburg Furniture| |Co., 914 Oxford Street, today, causing a| |loss of $30,000, covered by insurance.|
The Cause
| The desire to have maple syrup on his| |pancakes led to the capture of Oscar| |Norrie, who was arrested by Deputy| |United States Marshal Congdon this| |morning charged with desertion from| |the army. He was on his way from his| |mother’s home, 116 Easton Street, to the| |nearby grocery store to buy some syrup. |
The Result
| Twenty miners are entombed in the In-| |dian Creek Coal Company’s main shaft as| |the result of an explosion early this| |morning which blocked up the entrance,| |but which did not, it is believed,| |extend to the part of the mine where the| |men imprisoned were at work. |
The Significant Circumstance
| Posing as a gas meter inspector, a| |thief gained access to the home of John| |C. Schmidt, 1416 Cherry Lane, yesterday| |afternoon, and carried off a gold watch| |and a pocketbook containing $20. |
=How to Begin.= The grammatical form in which the feature is presented in the first group of words of the lead varies according to the character of the point to be emphasized. Some of the convenient types of beginning are: (1) the subject of the sentence, (2) a participial phrase, (3) a prepositional phrase, (4) an infinitive phrase, (5) a dependent clause, (6) a substantive clause, and (7) a direct quotation.
The subject of the sentence frequently contains the most telling idea of the lead and therefore occupies the emphatic position at the beginning, as in the following stories:
(1)
| Three unknown bandits robbed a con-| |ductor on the Hartford and North Haven| |Electric Railroad at the Westlawn siding| |shortly before midnight, and secured| |about $25. One of the robbers covered| |the motorman with a revolver while the| |other two went through the pockets of| |the conductor. No passengers were in the| |car. |
(2)
| Government ownership of telegraph lines| |is urged by Postmaster-General Hitchcock| |in his annual report made to Congress| |today. |
(3)
| Fire of unknown origin damaged the four| |story warehouse of Louis Berowitz & Co.,| |wholesale wine dealers, 131 Arlington| |Court, early this morning, causing a| |loss of $5,000. |
(4)
| Vivid blue and green lights playing| |about Brooklyn Bridge led early risers| |to believe that the structure was on| |fire. A broken live wire coming in| |contact with a steel girder, electri-| |cians found, was responsible for the| |unexpected illumination. |
A participial phrase, as the first group of words, is often a convenient form in which to “play up” a significant feature. The participle must always modify the subject of the sentence. The “hanging” or “dangling” participle which does not modify the subject, and the participle used substantively as the subject, are faults to be avoided. The effective use of the participial phrase is shown in the following leads:—
(1)
| Speeding homeward from Europe to see| |their daughter who is ill in Chicago,| |Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Spraugton arrived| |here on the Mauretania this morning and| |an hour later were on board an 18-hour| |train for Chicago. |
(2)
| Run down by her own automobile which| |she was cranking, Dr. Kate Mather, 151| |97th Street, was seriously injured last| |night, near St. Luke’s Hospital. |
(3)
| Accused of embezzling $4,700 from the| |Erie Trust Company, John Fletcher, a| |bookkeeper employed by the company for| |three years, was arrested this morning. |
(4)
| While demonstrating a patent fire| |escape of his own invention, Oscar| |Winkel, a machinist, 1718 Amsterdam| |Avenue, fell from the second story of| |the apartment house at that number,| |and escaped with a broken arm and a| |dislocated shoulder. |
Prepositional phrases, either adjective or adverbial, may be used to bring out an emphatic detail; for example:
(1)
| With a million coal miners striking in| |England, with nearly a million out in| |Germany today, and with the prospect| |of a walk-out in France tomorrow, the| |coal supply of Europe will be seriously| |affected. |
(2)
| By sliding down three stories on a rope| |fire-escape, John Wilcox, wanted in New| |York for forgery, eluded City Detectives| |Dillingham and Bronson last night, while| |they were trying to gain access to his| |room in the Western House. |
(3)
| In the guise of a postoffice inspector,| |a bandit gained access to the mail car| |on the Occidental Limited of the Western| |Pacific Railroad, and after overpowering| |the clerks, rifled the registered mail| |sacks. |
Infinitive phrases may be employed to advantage, as in the following cases:
(1)
| To rescue his three-year-old son from| |death when his own home burned yesterday| |afternoon, fell to the lot of John| |Morrissey, of Engine 14, when, with his| |company, of which he was temporarily in| |charge, he responded to an alarm of fire| |from Box 976, near his home at 161 10th| |Street. |
(2)
| To prevent private monopoly of the| |water powers of the state, Senator H. G.| |Waters introduced a bill into the senate| |this noon providing for the purchase or| |control by the state of desirable sites| |for the development of water power. |
Causal, concessive, conditional, and temporal clauses at the beginning of a story make possible the desired emphasis in an effective form; for example:
(1)
| Because a multiplex money-making mach-| |ine failed to transform tissue paper| |into crisp dollar bills, Jacob Montrid| |yesterday afternoon swore out a warrant| |for the arrest of Isaac Rosenbaum, 116| |East Broadway, who had sold him the| |machine for $800. |
(2)
| Although Senator Cameron again refused| |yesterday to say that he would be a| |candidate for reëlection, his opponents| |claim that he has been planning a| |systematic campaign in his district for| |several weeks. |
(3)
| Unless the $150,000 guarantee fund for| |the democratic national convention| |Is raised before tomorrow night, the| |executive committee of the Commercial| |Club will not extend an invitation to| |the national democratic committee to| |hold the convention in this city next| |July. |
(4)
| While a surgeon was dressing a bullet| |wound in his arm at Williamstown Hosp-| |ital, George Johnson, colored, was| |placed under arrest by Detectives| |Gilchrist and Hennessey, charged with| |shooting and seriously wounding Frank F.| |Taylor, a colored barber, 117 Washington| |Place. |
A substantive clause as subject of the first sentence of the story is often convenient, particularly for an indirect quotation in reports of speeches, interviews, testimony, etc. The different forms available are shown in the following leads:
(1)
| How the Standard Oil Company grew from| |a firm with $4,000 capital in 1867 to| |a $2,000,000 corporation in 1875, was| |told this morning by John D. Rockefeller| |in the course of the direct examination| |conducted by his attorney, John G.| |Milburn, in the suit for the dissolution| |of the Standard Oil Trust before Special| |Examiner Franklin Ferris in the Custom| |House. |
(2)
| Why the United States needs an income| |tax, was explained by Senator William| |E. Borah in his address before the| |Progressive Republican Club in the| |Auditorium last night. |
(3)
| That the United States government| |should operate a number of coal mines| |in Alaska and that it should take as| |its share approximately 25 per cent of| |the net profits on all coal development| |by private lease on the public domain| |in the territory, was the plan offered| |today by Senator Hitchcock of Nebraska,| |a member of the territories committee| |which is hearing the Alaska railroad| |testimony. |
A direct quotation at the beginning is the means of getting before the reader at once the important statement of a speech, report, interview, confession, etc. The following examples and those given in the discussion of reports of speeches and interviews in Chapter VI illustrate the effective use of the quotation.
(1)
| “I took the shoes so that my little| |girl could go to school on Monday,” was| |the defense that John Hoppiman offered| |in the Police Court this morning when| |charged with stealing a pair of shoes| |from the Palace Shoe Company’s store on| |Eagle Street last night. |
(2)
| “No cigarettes sold to minors” is the| |sign conspicuously posted in all places| |where tobacco is sold, because the new| |ordinance recently passed by the board| |of aldermen went into effect today. |
=Beginnings to be Avoided.= The rule that a news story should never begin with the articles “a,” “an,” or “the,” is neither supported by actual newspaper practice nor based on entirely sound principles. Good emphasis at the beginning is what such a rule strives to secure and in so far as it calls attention to the desirability of beginning the story with an important word in place of an article, it is justified. Often, however, in order to get the most significant element into the first group of words it is absolutely necessary to use one of the articles. Sometimes an article is unnecessary before the noun at the beginning; for example: “Fire destroyed,” etc., is more concise than, “A fire destroyed,” etc., and, “Government ownership of telegraph lines was urged,” than, “The government ownership of telegraph lines was urged.”
Numerical figures should not be used at the beginning of any sentence in a news story. To avoid putting the figures first when round numbers are given, such forms may be used as, “About 250 students,” “Over 1,200 chickens,” “Nearly 750 gallons of milk.” If it is considered desirable to have numbers at the very beginning, they may be spelled out, thus: “Three thousand citizens greeted,” etc., “Two hundred pounds of candy were strewn along Broadway,” etc.
=Explanatory Matter.= In the lead of all stories of events that are closely associated with preceding events, such as “follow-up” stories, it is customary to give briefly sufficient explanatory information to make the event described clear in its relations to the earlier ones. This is necessary because readers may have overlooked the stories of the preceding occurrences. An explanatory phrase or clause is generally sufficient, but sometimes a whole sentence is necessary.
=Unconventional Leads.= In place of the usual summary lead containing all the essential points of the event, some stories begin with the particulars leading up to the event and thus keep the reader in suspense as to the nature and result of the happening until he has read the greater part of the story. These stories in their structure approximate fictitious narratives such as the short story. Various forms of beginnings that depart from the normal summary lead are illustrated by the following examples:
(1)
| Half a dozen clerks were standing near| |the big vault in the Chelsea National| |Bank this afternoon, their backs toward| |the street. | | | | A blinding flash filled them with| |terror, and taking it for granted that| |another earthquake had visited the| |city, they jumped into the big vault and| |shut the door. | | | | When they tried to get out they could| |not. Some time later when the cashier| |saw the door closed, he opened it and| |found the clerks nearly smothered. | | | | A Wilson banner, soaked with rain, had| |fallen across a trolley wire and caused| |the flash. |
(2)
| “What time is it, please?” asked an| |innocent looking blond boy in short| |trousers of Harry G. Lampe on the steps| |of his hotel at 101 Johnson Street last| |night. | | | | “I haven’t a watch,” said Lampe| |politely. The boy pulled one out and| |explained that it was 7:30, whereupon| |they fell into a conversation and Lampe| |went upstairs in great good humor, only| |to come running down again. Two sets| |of false teeth were gone from his back| |trousers pocket—all the teeth he had in| |the world. | | | | The boy was seen talking to a group of| |men and was taken to the White Street| |station. | | | | Strange to relate, Sergeant William| |McCarthy, until recently a marine in| |the Washington Navy Yard, was there| |explaining to the desk lieutenant how| |a blond haired boy had just asked to| |carry his suit-case containing clothes,| |discharge papers from a twenty-three| |years’ army service, and medals for| |bravery. | | | | “Sure, he said he’d show me a good| |hotel and we came to a doorway that was| |dark. Just like that the wallops came,| |and me not being able to see who was| |hitting me. They took my bag and my| |watch and when I got up and felt for my| |purse they grabbed that, too; $140 was| |in it.” The door opened on the stealer| |of teeth. “That’s him, B’ George!” | | | | So it happened that the child stood| |before Magistrate Hinton in the Tombs| |court today on two charges of larceny. | | | | “Stand up,” said the court, and noting| |everything, blond curls downward,| |pronounced: “You are a most interesting| |psychological and sociological study,| |sir.” | | | | Detective De Groat said that the youth| |worked for a gang as Oliver Twist once| |did. Despite his youth and apparent| |innocence, therefore, he was held in| |$2,500 bail for the Grand Jury. |
(3)
| Two men knocked on the door of Mrs.| |Mary Martin’s apartment at 210 Easton| |Place yesterday afternoon and said they| |had come to fix the gas meter. Mrs.| |Martin through the keyhole told them to| |go right away, but they kicked down the| |door instead and walked in. | | | | The woman got out on the fire escape| |and yelled for help, while the men put| |the parlor clock in a bag and rummaged| |about in search of money. | | | | Policeman Cox answered Mrs. Martin’s| |call for help and ran upstairs. The men| |heard him coming and scrambled out of a| |skylight to the roof. Cox followed, but| |the two had disappeared. | | | | In their flight, however, they spilled| |a bag of flour over their clothes, and| |so when Policeman Cox, two hours later,| |saw two men with their shoulders white| |with flour, carrying a bag down First| |Avenue, he arrested them. | | | | Mrs. Martin identified the men as| |William Kelley and James Hammond,| |and said they had both lived in the| |house where her apartment is. | | | | They were locked up on a charge| |of burglary. |
(4)
| Mary Hand, 7 years old, who was run| |down by a mail automobile last night in| |Third Avenue at Seventy-fourth Street,| |said she wasn’t hurt and asked to go| |home. | | | | “Please don’t arrest that man,” she| |added, pointing to the driver; “he| |didn’t mean to hurt me.” So Policeman| |O’Reilley took the chauffeur’s name and| |address, Henry P. Miller, 117 Walnut| |Street, and let him go on his way with| |the mail. | | | | The policeman insisted on sending Mary| |to the hospital though she wasn’t| |scratched. She had been there just one| |hour when she died. The hospital folk| |said they couldn’t account for it,| |except by undetected internal injuries| |that she might have sustained. | | | | The little girl was the daughter of| |John Hand, 214 East Holton Avenue. On| |hearing of her death the police at once| |began a search for Miller, the chauf-| |feur. |
Another example of this type of story that follows the chronological order instead of beginning with a summary of the facts, is the following from the New York _Sun_, in which it was printed at the top of a column on the first page:
| Tom Flynn, a coal passer who works next| |to the Fort Lee Ferry over on the Jersey| |side, was gazing dreamily out over the| |Hudson early yesterday morning. Suddenly| |he dropped his shovel and let out a wild| |yell. | | | | “Gee whiz, look Bill!” he said to his| |fellow worker. “There’s a deer out there| |on the ice.” | | | | About 200 feet off shore a red doe was| |floating down stream, poised on a large| |cake of ice. Pretty soon another cake| |drifted along and jostled the doe’s floe| |and she slid gracefully into the water| |and started for shore. | | | | Flynn gave the alarm, and although this| |is not the open season in New Jersey,| |the game laws were disregarded and in a| |few minutes fifty odd deckhands, ticket| |takers, and commuters were engaged in| |a deer hunt. Boat hooks, brooms, and| |shovels were immediately pressed into| |service, and the excited crowd waited| |for the deer to come ashore. | | | | When the doe saw them she changed her| |direction, veering toward the ferry-boat| |Englewood, which is hibernating in the| |Edgewater slip, and took refuge in the| |lee of the paddle wheel. Having rested,| |the deer swam out into open water,| |headed directly for the ferry slip| |and splashed merrily about below the| |astonished crowd of amateur stalkers.| |Someone got a rope and attempted to| |noose the animal, but she couldn’t see| |it that way, calmly ducked and continued| |to cavort about in the water. | | | | Finally the doe became bored, dove| |under the edge of the slip, and was| |lost to sight momentarily. She then| |appeared on the other side of the ferry| |house. Before the crowd could reach| |her, she scrambled ashore opposite| |Terry Terhune’s Dairy Lunch, looked| |wonderingly into Gantert Bros,’ thirst| |quenching parlors, dashed up Dempsey| |Avenue and with a whisk of her tail| |disappeared up the mountain beyond| |Palisade Park. | | | | “Well, suffering Jumbo!” said Tom| |Flynn, “these guys don’t know nothing| |about deer catching,” and he went sadly| |back to his coal car. | | | | Several weeks ago three deer escaped| |from the Harriman preserves up the| |river, and the doe of yesterday’s chase| |is supposed to be one of them. |
Originality in the treatment of the ordinary material of a news story is illustrated in the following beginning of a report of a conference on rural problems.
| The little red schoolhouse and the big| |yellow ear of corn, how to develop each| |and how to correlate their interests,| |was the problem discussed yesterday| |afternoon by a committee of the Wis-| |consin Bankers’ association and a| |number of distinguished educators and| |public officials. After the meeting| |at agricultural hall was over, it was| |apparent that the problem of the big ear| |of corn was in a fair way of solution,| |but the little red schoolhouse still| |remained an enigma. | | | | The various speakers painted glowing| |pictures of how two ears of corn could| |be made to grow where one or none is| |growing now, and how farm life could| |be beautified and uplifted so that the| |boys and girls would quit rushing to| |the cities to add to the poverty of the| |nation and would remain on the soil to| |add to the country’s wealth. How to| |hook the country schoolhouse on this| |uplift movement did not seem so easy.| |The various educators present who knew| |something of the problem it presented,| |smiled at the altruistic simplicity of| |the bankers in taking up the problem and| |were loud in their praise of the monied| |men for so doing. The bankers could| |count on co-operation, they said. | | | | The meeting was an informal conference| |between the committee on agricultural| |development and education of the| |Wisconsin Bankers’ association and| |other organized activities along allied| |lines, and was held in a classroom of| |agricultural hall. L. A. Baker, of New| |Richmond, chairman of the committee,| |presided. |
How a bit of police court news may be worked up into a story the lead of which piques the reader’s curiosity, is shown in the following story from the New York _Sun_:
| It took only two eggs in the hands of| |Annie Gallagher, a cook, buxom and| |blond, to spoil a sunset. That is why| |Annie was in the West Side police court| |yesterday. She had been summoned by| |Jacob Yourowski. | | | | Yourowski, who is a sign painter, works| |at 355 Columbus avenue, next door to 64| |West Seventy-second street, where Annie| |is employed. He was painting a sunset| |as a background for an advertising sign| |last Monday when the trouble began. | | | | “I was on the ladder,” he told| |Magistrate Steinert, “when I was struck| |by some eggshells. I watched the open| |window where this woman is employed and| |pretty soon I saw her peeking out. At| |first I took it as a joke.” | | | | “Pretty soon there were some more| |shells. I caught her looking out the| |window. So in a playful manner I made| |believe to throw back at her.” | | | | “Judge, then the eggs came at me| |strong. They weren’t only shells; they| |had the goods. Pretty soon my sunset| |looked like an omelet. Then I got mad.” | | | | “Yes,” interrupted Annie, “and in his| |anger he threw ice in the window at me.| |One piece struck me and hurt me. Then I| |got mad and dumped the hot water on| |him.” | | | | The cook was held in $300 bonds to| |insure future good behavior. |
Another example of an opening that stimulates the reader’s desire to know more of an unusual incident is seen in the following story:
| If it hadn’t been for a woman’s cu-| |riosity Wadislaus Brinko, who owns a| |Lithuanian rooming house at 231 East| |Hain street, wouldn’t have confessed| |to the police yesterday that he shot| |and killed Jacob Watus, a roomer in his| |house, on Oct. 23. | | | | A coroner’s inquest was proceeding in| |a routine way the day following the| |shooting and the jury was about to| |render a verdict of death by suicide,| |when Mrs. Anna Hannok, 416 Highland| |place, appeared on the scene. She had| |been attracted by the crowd outside the| |undertaking rooms, she said. | | | | The testimony up to the time of Mrs.| |Hannok’s appearance had plainly| |indicated suicide. Suddenly she| |electrified the jury by pointing to| |Brinko and crying: | | | | “Ask him where he got the gun.” | | | | The inquiry, interrupted by this| |dramatic incident, was adjourned until| |yesterday. Shortly before the inquest| |was resumed, Brinko broke down and| |admitted that he had killed Watus.| |He asserted, however, that it was an| |accident. |
Distinctive beginnings which are also calculated to attract attention by reason of the question form are shown in the following stories taken from the Chicago _Tribune_:
(1)
| Have you lost a $1,000 bill? | | | | No, this isn’t a joke; have you? | | | | Somebody was so careless as to drop a| |$1,000 bill in the lobby of the Majestic| |Theatre on Friday afternoon. And if some| |theatre-goer had held his head a trifle| |lower he might have seen the currency| |and not stepped on it. | | | | The bill was dropped near the box of-| |fice as the audience was entering the| |house for the matinee. Just when it| |fell to the tile floor and how long it| |was kicked around nobody knows. Herbert| |Klein, the doorman, happened to glance| |at the floor and saw a piece of paper.| |Persons were walking over it. He took| |another look and then he reached for| |it. Walking back to the door where the| |light was better he slyly took a peek| |at it. He saw the big yellow “M” and| |whistled. He hurried to the office of A.| |S. Rivers, treasurer of the theatre. He| |did not wait for the elevator. | | | | Mr. Rivers placed the $1,000 bill in| |the vault, where he thinks $1,000 bills| |belong. He was somewhat surprised| |yesterday when there was no inquiry for| |the money. Then he became suspicious.| |Thinking the bill might be one of the| |notes of the $173,000 in government| |money that disappeared from the Chicago| |subtreasury two years ago, he notified| |Capt. Thomas I. Porter and Peter| |Drautzberg of the secret service bureau.| | | | The number of the bill was sent to the| |treasury department at Washington. It| |is not known whether the government| |possesses the numbers of the $1,000| |bills which were missed from the| |subtreasury. |
(2)
| “Shall we shoot old preachers?” | | | | Several aged ministers attending the| |Rock River conference at the First| |Methodist Church of Evanston sat bolt| |upright in their seats last evening when| |Rev. George P. Eckman, editor of the| |Christian Advocate of New York, asked| |the question. They blinked hard and in| |unison when he repeated it. | | | | “Shall we shoot old preachers?” | | | | A general sigh of relief was heard when| |he offered his explanation. | | | | “We might as well shoot them,” he said,| |“as let them starve on the pitiably| |small incomes which some of them have.| |Shooting them would be more humane. They| |have served long and useful lives. Why| |should their last days be spent in want| |and suffering?” | | | | Rev. Eckman was the principal speaker| |at the anniversary of the Society for| |Superannuated Preachers. He dwelt at| |length on the increasing hardships that| |confront the preacher who has grown too| |old to perform active service. |
(3)
| Who is responsible for the collapse of| |the Pearl Theatre in Western avenue? | | | | Who permitted the construction of a| |roof which the results show was a menace| |to the lives of many people from the| |time the theatre was opened? | | | | How much of the blame is on the city| |building department? | | | | How much blame attaches to the city| |council? | | | | How about the architect and the owner| |of the theatre? | | | | How many other Chicago theatres—picture| |theatres and theatres of various| |types—are as dangerous potentially as| |was the Pearl theatre? | | | | Questions such as these will be met by| |the council committee on buildings,| |which tomorrow will take up an inquiry| |into the Pearl 5-cent theatre case. The| |roof of the Pearl, Western avenue and| |Downey street, caved in last Monday| |morning and a disaster was averted| |because no show was in progress at the| |time. |
A type of lead that has some vogue has a very short first sentence that usually states the most significant fact in the story. This short statement may be followed by a longer explanatory one that contains the other essential details, or by a series of short sentences each of which contains an important detail. This kind of lead is in reality only the breaking up of the long one-sentence lead containing all the essentials, into two or more shorter sentences. Greater emphasis is thus gained for the particulars set off in the short sentences. Examples of these leads are:
(1)
| Col. Roosevelt is back. He spoke| |tonight at Madison Square Garden to| |15,000 people. They cheered him for| |forty-two minutes. | | | | There was no indication throughout this| |storm of applause that it was anything| |but spontaneous. It was directed at Col.| |Roosevelt himself. |
(2)
| The “fatherless frog” is in Washington.| |He arrived here this morning. He has two| |big bulging green eyes, a big white| |throat, and for all the world looks just| |the same as millions of his brothers| |who occupy thrones on lily pads in some| |muddy creek. According to Prof. Jacques| |Loeb of the Rockefeller Institute of| |Research, however, this particular Mr.| |Frog, on exhibition before the Congress| |of Hygiene and Demography here, was| |hatched from the egg of a female by| |chemical process. | | | | While visitors are greatly interested| |in this orphan frog, learned professors| |are busy challenging his chemical| |parentage. | | | | Professor Loeb says that his fatherless| |frog is the culmination of years of| |effort and that with but little more| |study he will be able to produce other| |forms of life resulting from his study| |of parthenogenesis. |
In the less conventional types of leads, various beginnings are used, often to excellent advantage, for novelty and variety. The two examples given below show some marked departures from the usual kinds of beginnings.
(1)
+----------------------------------------+ | | | I SOLD YOU THE GLASSES | | NOT THE COMET | | | +----------------------------------------+ | By this sign displayed to-day in| |an optical shop in Fifth Avenue, a| |dealer in binoculars, who is weary of| |explaining that he is not responsible| |for unsatisfactory views of Halley’s| |comet, hopes to make plain his position| |to customers that desire to return their| |purchases. |
(2)
| WANTED—Young woman as governess for ten| |year old child, to travel through Europe| |this summer. Give references, age, and| |experience. Address E 740, Times Office.| | | | This innocent looking advertisement in| |the Times led to the arrest of William| |Houghton, alias Wilson Hulton, at the| |National Hotel yesterday afternoon on| |the charge of swindling Miss Fannie| |Hopkins, Denver, out of $200 last| |month, by means of a similarly alluring| |advertisement in the Denver papers. |
=“Boxed” Summaries.= To give greater prominence to interesting statistics, summaries, excerpts, and lists than is possible in the lead, these facts are often put before the regular lead, usually surrounded by a frame or “box,” and printed in black face type. Although this arrangement is determined by the editors and copy readers, the reporter may select and group significant facts in such a way that those who edit his copy can readily mark them to be “boxed” and set in the desired kind of type. Lists of dead and injured in accidents; telling statements from speeches, reports, or testimony; statistics of interest; summaries of facts; and brief histories of events connected with the news story at hand, are frequently treated in this way. If not placed before the lead, these “boxed” facts are put at a convenient place in the body of the story. Brief bulletins, likewise, containing the latest news are often “boxed” and set in heavier type.
(1)
+----------------------------------------+ | | | SOUTH POINT FIRE LOSS | | | | Elevator B $300,000 | | Wheat, 377,000 bu. 403,390 | | Flax, 227,000 bu. 274,670 | | Barley, 7,000 bu. 3,360 | | Western Pacific Dock 30,000 | | --------- | | Total Loss $1,011,420 | +----------------------------------------+ | | | Over a million dollars’ worth of| |property on South Point was consumed| |within two hours yesterday afternoon| |when fire destroyed Elevator B of the| |Northern Elevator Company and the dock| |of the Western Pacific Railroad Company,| |and imperiled surrounding property| |valued at another million. |
(2)
+----------------------------------------+ | | | REPUBLICAN STATE PLATFORM | | | | Repudiation of Payne-Aldrich Tariff | | Act. | | Non-Partisan Tariff Commission. | | Government Regulation of Monopolies. | | Taxation of Water Powers. | | Conservation of Natural Resources. | | National Income Tax. | | Limited Hours of Labor for Women and | | Children. | | Popular Election of U. S. Senators. | | Employers’ Liability Laws. | | Workingmen’s Compensation Acts. | +----------------------------------------+ | | | With the adoption of a strong platform| |on state and national issues, the| |Republican State Convention came to a| |close late last night. |
(3)
+----------------------------------------+ | | | TAFT ON THE IRISH | | | | They have accentuated American wit. | | They have added to American tender- | | ness. | | | They have perhaps instilled in the | | American a little additional pug- | | nacity. | | They have increased his poetic imag- | | ination. | | They have made him more of an | | optimist. | | They have suffused his whole exis- | | tence with the spirit of kindly | | humor. | +----------------------------------------+ | | | Eight hundred members of the Charitable| |Irish Society gave President Taft a| |notable ovation at their 175th annual| |dinner held at the Hotel Somerset last| |night. |
(4)
+----------------------------------------+ | | | TROLLEY CRASH VICTIMS | | | | The Killed | | Muckly, Mrs. Theresa, 47 years, cook, | | 1916 Flushing Avenue. | | Flesner, Jacob, 26 years, machinist, | | 2717 Hawthorn Street. | | Block, Marie, 16 years, cash girl, 616 | | Parkway. | | | | The Injured | | Claxton, Mary, 10 years, 1414 Cedar | | Street, broken nose, scalp wounds, | | St. Mary’s Hospital. | | Shumacher, Mrs. Ida, 42 years, 191 | | 12th Avenue, right arm broken, in- | ternal injuries, St. Mary’s Hospital.| | Perkins, Charles, 31 years, 157 Wash- | | ington Street, dislocated hip, scalp | | cut, Roosevelt Hospital. | +----------------------------------------+ | | | Three passengers were killed, three| |seriously injured, and a dozen more| |badly shaken up when a south bound| |trolley car on the Wellington Park line| |crashed into one ahead that had stopped| |to take in passengers, at Fifty-second| |Avenue and Howard Place last night.|
=The Body of the Story.= Following the lead is the body of the story, which generally consists of a more or less detailed account of the event. The main part of the report usually presents the incidents in the order in which they took place. In choice and arrangement of particulars, therefore, it does not differ from narration in general. As in all narration, so in news stories, it is essential to pick out those particulars that are most interesting and most significant in relation to the feature of the news. If the details are arranged in chronological order and this order is made evident by means of connective words and phrases, the reader can follow the account easily from beginning to end.
All of the methods used by writers of fiction to make short stories and novels realistic and attractive may be applied to the writing of news. Concise descriptive touches that suggest the picture rather than portray it by detailed description, are always effective. Accounts of eye-witnesses, exclamations and remarks made by the bystanders, comments by those concerned, dialogue between persons involved, when given in the form of direct quotations, all add to the life and interest of the story. Every legitimate literary device can be used to advantage in the writing of the day’s news, provided that it does not require too much space, for above everything else the news story must be concise.
Good emphasis at the beginning of each paragraph should always be sought, because in rapid reading, as has already been pointed out, the eye catches first the initial group of words at each indention. Unimportant connective phrases and clauses should seldom be given this position of prominence, but should be buried in the sentence. The emphasis at the end of each paragraph in the news story is not great and can therefore be disregarded. Although each paragraph need not end emphatically, it should be rounded out to give the effect of completeness.
The organization of details in the body of a story is shown in the account of a train robbery given below:
| Spokane, Wash., March 15—In the guise| |of a postoffice inspector, a bandit| |obtained admittance to the postal car| |on the Great Northern Oriental Limited| |at Bonners Ferry, Idaho, early this| |morning, and after overpowering the| |two clerks, calmly rifled the through| |registered mail pouches while the train| |was proceeding to Spokane. | | | | During the run of over 100 miles to| |Spokane, the robber received the mail at| |three stations where the train stopped| |and threw off the newspaper mail. | | | | Just before the train entered the yards| |here, the bandit leaped from the car| |and, with the booty in a small satchel,| |made his escape. It is not known how| |much money and valuables the bandit| |obtained, but it is supposed he got a| |big haul. Six registered mail sacks were| |cut and their contents rifled. | | | | When the train reached this city, John| |Wilson, one of the postal clerks, was| |found locked in the clothes closet,| |while Henry Devine, the other, was under| |the table with a jumper drawn over his| |head and his arms tightly bound with a| |rope. It was then that the story of the| |robbery was learned. | | | | When the train stopped at Bonners Ferry| |at four o’clock this morning, a man| |came to the door of the postal car, and| |throwing in a mail sack and a small| |satchel, announced that he was R. F.| |Burton, a postoffice inspector. | | | | “I will return in a few minutes and| |ride with you to Spokane,” he said to| |Wilson, the clerk on duty. Devine, the| |other, was asleep under the table that| |was covered with mail sacks. | | | | After the man left the car, Wilson| |awoke Devine, and told him that an| |inspector was to ride with them to this| |city, and that he, Wilson, would awaken| |him again shortly. | | | | Just before the train started from the| |Idaho town, the man entered the car| |again. “Is there any mail for me?” he| |inquired of the clerk. “There ought to| |be some. Please look.” | | | | Wilson looked over some mail and when| |he turned around to inform the supposed| |inspector that there was none, he found| |a big revolver pointed at his head. | | | | The robber, after warning the clerk to| |make no outcry, ordered him to get into| |the clothes closet, which is scarcely| |large enough to permit a man to stand| |erect. | | | | Ignorant of the robbery that was going| |on in the car, Devine continued to| |sleep. Finally when the train was| |leaving Big Bend, Devine awoke and,| |looking up from underneath the table,| |saw the stranger opening letters. | | | | As Devine crawled out, the bandit wh-| |ipped out a revolver from his overcoat| |pocket. | | | | “Keep quiet, or I’ll blow your head| |off,” he commanded. | | | | The robber then threw a jumper over the| |clerk’s head, bound his hands behind| |him, and pushed him under the table| |where he had been asleep. |
When a story covers considerable time because the incidents leading up to the principal event took place a week or more before, care must be taken to keep the time element before the readers in order to make the series of incidents clear in their relation to one another. The following story shows the arrangement of material in such a story:
| Because he unknowingly tried to swindle| |the same young woman twice within three| |weeks by means of a “want ad,” Arthur M.| |Howell, who says his home is in Yukon,| |Alaska, was arrested at the Hixon Hotel| |last night. The similarity of a “want| |ad” in the Sun a few days ago to one in| |a Denver paper recently, led Miss Emma| |Bunde of Denver, who had been swindled| |out of $280, to notify the local police,| |and through her efforts Howell was| |placed under arrest. | | | | When, three weeks ago, an advertisement| |appeared in the Denver paper for a| |young woman to act as secretary to a| |business man during a three months’ trip| |through Europe, Miss Emma Bunde, then| |a stenographer in a railroad office| |in Denver, answered it, offering her| |services. In reply to her application,| |Howell arranged a meeting with her and| |engaged her for the position. | | | | At her new employer’s suggestion, she| |withdrew her savings amounting to| |$280 from one of the Denver banks,| |and accompanied him to Kansas City.| |When they arrived there, he offered to| |take her money for safe keeping and| |she entrusted the whole amount to him.| |At the same time he gave her $25, as| |an advance payment on her salary, and| |told her that they would continue their| |journey that afternoon after he had| |transacted some business. | | | | When she returned to the hotel after a| |shopping tour in which she had bought a| |dress for $22.50, she found a note from| |her employer, which informed her that he| |had been suddenly called to Columbia,| |Mo., on business. A railroad ticket and| |sleeping car reservation were enclosed| |with the note which requested her to| |proceed to St. Louis that night and meet| |him the following day at a hotel in St.| |Louis. | | | | Miss Bunde went to St. Louis and| |awaited the arrival of Howell at the| |hotel designated. After waiting in vain| |for a week, she decided that she was the| |victim of a clever swindling game. Being| |without funds she wrote to friends here| |and with their aid came to this city. | | | | In looking through the “want ads” in| |the Sun last Friday, she came upon| |an advertisement for a young woman| |secretary to accompany a business man| |on a tour throughout the states and| |Alaska. The similarity of this “ad”| |and that which she had answered in| |Denver, led her to inform the police of| |her suspicion that the author was the| |same person who had taken her money.| |Detectives were at once detailed to| |watch for Howell when he called for| |replies to his advertisement at the Sun| |office. | | | | The young woman in reply to the advert-| |isement again offered her services as| |secretary, giving a fictitious name| |but her real telephone number. The| |advertiser failed to call for his mail| |for nearly a week, and the detectives| |abandoned their watch. Then on Wednesday| |Howell called at the Sun office where he| |found twenty letters, including the one| |from Miss Bunde. | | | | Unfortunately for the swindler, the| |first letter that he opened was| |evidently Miss Bunde’s, for he called| |her up Wednesday afternoon and made an| |appointment at the Hixon Hotel for last| |evening. | | | | She at once notified the police and| |Detective Sullivan was detailed to| |accompany her to the hotel. When Howell| |appeared and recognized Miss Bunde as| |his Denver victim, he endeavored to| |leave but was arrested by Sullivan. | | | | At the police station he gave his| |address as Yukon, Alaska. In his pockets| |were found letters from several Kansas| |City women who had replied to his| |advertisements in that city, and the| |police believe that he is wanted in| |other places on similar charges. |
SUGGESTIONS
1. Write legibly; use a typewriter whenever possible.
2. Double or triple space your typewritten or longhand copy.
3. Never write on both sides of the sheet.
4. Make your meaning absolutely clear to the rapid reader.
5. Be concise; don’t use needless words.
6. Use superlatives sparingly.
7. Find the one noun to express the idea, the one adjective, if necessary, to qualify it, and the one verb needed to give it life.
8. Get life and action into your story whenever circumstances warrant.
9. Use original expressions; avoid trite and hackneyed phrases.
10. Remember that every one of your mistakes adds to the work of your superiors.
11. Study and follow the peculiarities of the style of your paper.
12. Make your paragraphs short and concise.
13. Avoid choppy, disconnected short sentences.
14. Don’t overload the first sentence by elaborating on the essential points.
15. Select the most interesting phase of the news as the “feature” of the story.
16. Put the “feature” in the first group of words at the beginning of the lead.
17. Answer satisfactorily in the “lead” the questions—Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?
18. Seldom “play up” the time or place as the feature.
19. Avoid the hanging, or dangling, participle, particularly at the beginning of the lead.
20. Don’t put important particulars of the story in the last paragraphs where they may be cut off in the “make-up.”
21. Avoid beginning successive paragraphs with the same phrase or construction.
22. Use an unconventional form of “lead” when the news justifies it.
23. Tabulate on a separate sheet significant statistics, lists, excerpts, or summaries, so that they may be “boxed.”
24. Don’t suppress news; refer all requests for such suppression to your superiors.
25. Put the mark (#), or the figures 30 enclosed in a circle, at the end of every story.
PRACTICE WORK
(1) Point out the faults in the following story and correct them by rewriting it.
Suspected of starting over a score of fires in the downtown district within a month and confessing starting nineteen, with six false alarms in three months, Henry Handifort, a South Side boy, was arrested after a fire early today.
In a confession to the police Handifort, who is 16 years of age, said he began his career as a firebug when 5 years old, but after starting three fires was so punished by his parents that he refrained from further operations until a few months ago. He said his ambition was to be a fireman and that he started the fires to be on hand when the firemen came so he could help them. He said he enjoyed seeing the apparatus turn out.
The fires to which he confessed caused a total loss of $25,000. His climax came Sunday night, when three fires caused $8,000 loss. The boy, then under suspicion, was watched carefully, and a fire early today brought his arrest.
(2) What are the faults in the following story printed in a weekly paper, and how should they be corrected in rewriting?
Mr. Ed. Williams of this city met with a very severe and painful accident in the zinc works in this city.
Mr. Williams, who is employed as a cart driver at the works, was performing his usual duties, when in some way the horse became frightened and started to run away. Ed was thrown out of the heavy ore cart and fell in such a position, that the wheels of the cart passed over his body, causing severe injuries to his head and fracturing four ribs, besides bruising him internally. He was at once taken to the hospital rooms of Dr. Hulton, where his injuries were dressed. He was then conveyed to his home, where he is recovering nicely at present. It will be some time however before he will be at his post again.
(3) What is the weakness of the following story and how could you improve it by rewriting?
Mrs. William Black, wife of the caretaker of the Yewdale Yacht Club house, which is on the end of the long bulkhead of the South Basin at the foot of Ring street, Lawton Park, sent her eleven-year-old daughter, Madelaine, to Dresden Avenue yesterday morning to get some oranges.
Mrs. Black sat by an upper window of the club house waiting for Madelaine to come back. Pretty soon the little girl put in an appearance. The wind was blowing so hard that the mother feared for the child’s safety and she arose to go to her assistance. When she looked out of the window again, Madelaine had disappeared. She hurried out and saw the child’s cloak floating on the water.
Charles Blaine, a sailor on the yacht Elizabeth E., and Otto Grey of the schooner John Bull, dived for the body several times before Blaine succeeded in bringing it up.
The child’s father is on a fishing trip to Block Island.
(4) Play up the unusual element in this story by putting it in the first group of words.
Mrs. Minnie Greene, a colored janitress, was burned to the point of death by a fire started by the son’s rays focused by a large reflector which she carried. Mrs. Greene, with the big brass reflector under her arm, was standing in front of the First Presbyterian church when suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her left leg. Looking down she saw that her skirt was afire. Screaming in terror she ran down the street and in and out of three stores before she could be stopped by two policemen. It is not believed that she can recover.
(5) Compare the leads of the two following stories of the same event, pointing out their merits and defects; then write a new lead embodying the best points of each.
(1)
Princeton, N.J., Nov. 3—Governor Woodrow Wilson had a narrow escape from serious injury at an early hour this morning when the automobile in which he was returning home from Red Bank ran into a rut in the main street leading into the little village of Hightstown, throwing him with great force against the top of the limousine, inflicting a painful cut in the top of his head.
When he appeared in his library this afternoon to meet many callers and the newspaper men the governor wore across the top of his head a broad plaster bandage, covering part of the scalp that had been shaved when the cut was dressed.
Captain “Silent Bill” McDonald, the Texas ranger traveling companion of the governor, received a severe jolt, but escaped any other injury than a bruise on his neck.
(2)
Princeton, N.J., Nov. 3—Gov. Woodrow Wilson wears a strip of collodion and gauze across the top of his head covering a scalp wound three inches long which he received early on Sunday in a motor mishap on the way home from Red Bank, N.J. His automobile struck a mound in the road and jolted him up against a steel rib in the roof of the limousine car.
The wound is not serious and the democratic presidential nominee will fulfill his speaking engagements in Paterson and Passaic, N.J., on Monday.
At night the governor was in the parlor of his home the center of a group of friends. There was nothing in his manner to indicate that he had met with any mishap. He said he did not feel the wound in the slightest degree and had not even developed a headache from it.
“I guess I’m too hardheaded to be hurt,” he said smilingly as he received the correspondents.
The mishap occurred in the early hours of the morning. The governor had spoken at Red Bank and left for Princeton, a distance of forty-five miles, shortly before 11 o’clock. He rode in the limousine car of Abraham I. Elkus, a New York lawyer who lives at Red Bank, accompanied by Capt. William J. McDonald, his personal body guard, who was shaken up and bruised.
(6) Criticize the following story and rewrite it in accordance with your criticism.
Another hero of the sea was disclosed today through a collision of the Norwegian steamer Noreuga with the Norwegian sailing ship Glenlui. It appeared that he saved, not only the passengers and crews, but the ships.
The Noreuga arrived at Norfolk last night in a sinking condition in tow of the revenue cutter Onondaga and is preparing to dock. The Glenlui is expected later.
The Noreuga will be repaired at the Newport News ship yards, where its eleven passengers, including eight women, and its freight will be transferred to the steamship Mexicana. The passengers were brought to port on the Onondaga.
The man to whom credit is given is the wireless operator on the Noreuga who declined to tell his name and whose desire to avoid notoriety was respected by Captain Hansen.
When the crew favored deserting the stricken Noreuga after the collision last Friday the wireless operator refused to leave his post. With death riding the gale he continued to flash his appeals for help. He succeeded finally in raising both shore stations and vessels of the Atlantic fleet. The rescue of the Norse vessels was accomplished as they were about to founder.
(7) From the following account, as given by an eye-witness, write a news story for a local daily paper.
John Quinn, foreman of the E. J. Mackey Co., 356 W. 40th St., gave the following account of an accident in his plant this noon:
“I was working on the fifth floor of our new six story warehouse just before dinner time today when Oscar Taub who lives out at 216 W. 139th St., one of the men who works for us, came up and said that Mr. Mackey wanted him to find out how much whiskey there was in the big tank on my floor. Taub put a ladder against the side of the big tank and, catching hold of the cord of one of the electric lights, started up to the top of the tank. When he got up to the top he called to me saying that there were 7,705 gallons of whiskey in it. When he started down the ladder again, the bulb of the electric light slipped from his hand and broke on the edge of the tank.”
“Then there was a big explosion and I saw Taub flying through the air against the side of the wall about 30 feet away. Then the whiskey in the tank started to burn and the flames spread out along the ceiling as if the tank were a big furnace. When I saw that the whiskey was afire, I jumped over to turn on the outlet valve so that the whiskey would run off into the drain pipe. I turned on the water so it would run into the tank and put out the fire. I hurried over to see if Taub was hurt, for the water had put out the blaze and all of the whiskey was running out into the sewer. I found Taub lying against the wall unconscious with his hands and face burned. I was just going to carry him over to the elevator when the firemen came rushing up. I told them the fire was out and asked them to help me carry Taub downstairs. Then Mr. Mackey called the ambulance and they took Taub who had regained consciousness and was groaning with pain from his burns to Roosevelt Hospital.
“There wasn’t any damage done but we lost all the whiskey and I guess the building would have burned if I hadn’t let the whiskey run out and turned on the water. The ambulance doctor said Taub would be able to get back to work in about a week.”
(8) Compare these three stories in regard to the effectiveness of the introductory statement.
(1)
| Within hailing distance of several| |costly north shore residences, Henry| |Hoskin, 132 Welcome place, was held up| |late last evening and robbed of $14 and| |a watch. Hoskin was crossing Bellevue| |place on Lake Shore drive when a black| |limousine car drove up and a man with| |a revolver leaped out in front of the| |pedestrian. Hoskin turned over his money| |promptly. The robber jumped back into| |the car, where Hoskin could see two| |others, and the car dashed on to the| |north. |
(2)
| The latest thing in highway robbery| |is to have a $7,000 limousine and| |a handsome chauffeur, and then to| |watch for victims strolling through| |fashionable neighborhoods. Henry Hoskin,| |who lives at 132 Welcome Place, was a| |victim at 1 o’clock this morning. | | | | “I was just passing Harold McCormick’s| |mansion at the Lake Shore Drive and| |Bellevue Place,” he said, “when it| |happened to me. The finest looking| |limousine I ever saw slowed up right| |in front of the McCormick house. The| |machine looked so expensive that I| |thought the occupant must be the| |millionaire himself—until out he leaps| |at me with a revolver leveled at my| |head. It took the man about four seconds| |to get my money—it was only $14. And| |then I was ordered to be on my way. | | | | “There were two of the robbers, the| |operating man and the chauffeur, who| |looked like a real one.” | | | | Hoskin told his story to the police at| |the East Chicago Avenue Station and they| |started a search for the robbers. |
(3)
| Stepping out of one of the finest| |limousine cars ever seen in Lake| |Shore Drive, three young men held up| |a pedestrian early today at the point| |of their pistols in front of the| |Harold McCormick home. The victim,| |Henry Hoskin, 132 Welcome Place, told| |the police of the East Chicago Avenue| |Station that he would not have been more| |surprised if the St. Gaudens statue of| |Lincoln in Lincoln Park had stepped off| |its pedestal and picked his pocket. | | | | “I was just passing Harold McCormick’s| |mansion at the Lake Shore Drive and| |Bellevue Place,” he said, “when it| |happened to me. The finest looking| |limousine I ever saw slowed up right| |in front of the McCormick house. The| |machine looked so expensive that I| |thought the occupant must be the| |millionaire himself—until out leaped| |three men with revolvers leveled at my| |head. It took the men about four seconds| |to get my money—it was only $14. And| |then I was ordered to be on my way. | | | | “The three robbers were well-dressed| |young fellows. The chauffeur wore| |a uniform and looked like a real| |chauffeur.” |
(9) Analyze the treatment of material in the second story below and compare it with that in the first.
(1)
| A quarrel over the merits of the North| |and South in the civil war resulted in| |the shooting through the right cheek of| |John White, 3100 Renton street, at the| |saloon of William Lubin, Brinton avenue| |and Hamilton street, by Charles McGuire.| |The latter was arrested. |
(2)
| The war of the rebellion was resumed in| |Chicago yesterday after a preliminary| |skirmish on Saturday. Three men were| |engaged, and after the smoke of battle| |had cleared away the casualties were| |found to be: one shot, one prisoner of| |war, and one incapacitated for conflict.| | | | The skirmish and ultimate battle| |occurred in the saloon of William Lubin,| |Brinton avenue and Hamilton street.| |Charles McGuire and his brother carried| |the colors of the South and John White| |defended the North. | | | | The three men were drinking together on| |Saturday when the issues between the| |North and South caused a dispute. They| |parted in wrath. | | | | “We’ll show that fellow where he gets| |off at,” the McGuire brothers are| |reported to have said as they left for| |the loop to buy arms to protect the| |honor of the South. | | | | Charles McGuire, with a revolver as his| |artillery, went alone yesterday to the| |saloon. His brother, not feeling well,| |remained at home. Soon Charles met White| |and had no trouble in drawing an attack| |from him. | | | | He drew the revolver and shot White| |through the cheek. Then the police| |arrived and took Charles prisoner. White| |was rushed to St. Anne’s hospital. |