Part 7

Atter while my Mammy, she snored an' my Daddy, he snored, an' de cat meawed, an' de dawg's tail whopped on de floor, an' I got so skeered I could hardly keep comp'ny wid my own bref.

Den sump'in' happened. Mister Wind, he broke down de door an' roared in an' licked up de candle light. Den I shet my eyes an' listened fer my cat, but didn't heah no meaw. Mister Rain, he spattered down de chimbly an' swallowed up de fire. Den I put my hands over my face an' listened fer my dawg, but didn't heah no tail flopping on de floor. Atter bein' skeered er long time I spunked up an' opened my eyes, an' dere wuz Mister Dark es big es de cabin-room.

Atter er nudder while I spunked up erg'in an' says I: "Mister Dark, whar does you live?"

Mister Dark says: "I lives everywhar when de sun's in bed." Den I asks him a r'al spunky question: "Mister Dark, how big is you?"

Mister Dark says: "I'se es big es de whole world when de sun's kivered up in bed."

Den I says: "Dis cabin-room's too little fer you. Jes leave it fer us."

Mister Dark, he says: "I'se gwine ter stay heah an' have sum fun outer you. Ef you's skeered, Little Boy, jes' call on yo' Daddy's snore an' yo' Mammy's dreams, an' yo' cat's meaw an' yo' little dawg's floppin' tail. You must read me a story. Heah's er book. Heah's specticle-glasses fer de dark. Now read an' let de fun begin."

I shakes my head, an' den I seemed jes' like er big piece o' gumbo. I wuz tall an' den short, an' in an' den out an' square an' den round. I says ter myself: "Ef I ends er foot ball, Mister Dark will have a great big kick cum'in'." All at once I felt de book in my hand, de specticle-glasses on my nose, an' I wuz tryin' ter read. I could read, an' den I couldn't. I'd call de fust wud, an' den dat wud would jump on all de udder wuds es I cum ter 'em, an' I'd jes' call dat wud right on frum de top ter de bottom o' de page.

"Looker-heah, Little Boy," said Mister Dark, "you jes' cyarn't read. Let's all laf." Den Mister Dark chuckled er laf, an' Mister Rain spattered er laf, an' Mister Wind roared er laf, an' my cat meawed er laf, an' my little dawg flopped er laf wid his tail, an' I lafed jes' er little teeny bit, an' I wanted it back erg'in.

Mister Dark made er funny little noise, an' whut does you reckon happened? My cat wuz on one knee, an' my dawg on de udder. De specticle-glasses wuz on dey noses, an' dey read every wud in dat book. Now what does you reckon dem wuds wuz erbout? Dey wuz erbout dat wud dat played leap frog frum de top ter de bottom o' dat page when I tried ter read, an' erbout dat rabbit an' dem hoecakes, an' how I wuz gwine ter oversleep myself, an' how my mouf would wotter when I seed de rabbit's bones picked clean.

Den I said ter Mister Dark: "Mister Dark, you's pokin' fun at me, an' you's makin' my cat meaw fun at me an' my dawg flop fun at me wid his tail; but I'se gwine ter beat you in de end fer I'se gwine ter sleep."

"'Scuse me fer readin'," meawed my cat, an' jumped down frum my right knee.

"'Scuse me fer readin'," barked my dawg, an' jumped down frum my left knee.

"'Scuse us too," mumbled de book an' de specticle-glasses.

"Now, my Little Boy," said Mister Dark, "ef you'll jes' shet yo' eyes an' open yo' mouf you'll 'scuse me too to-morrow mawnin'."

I closed my eyes an' opened my mouf an' went ter sleep. I sleeped an' sleeped an' sleeped, an' at last I waked up. Mister Daylight wuz dere as big as de cabin-room, an' my Mammy wuz frying de hoecakes, an' my Daddy wuz stewin' de rabbit, an' when I got all de glue outen my eyelids I sed: "Mammy, I'se bin erway, an' I'se hongry."

"Give dat chile er cake," says Mammy.

"An' sum rabbit," says Daddy.

"An' give my cat an' dawg sum too," says I.

Den we all eat an' eat an' eat, an' all at once Mammy says: "Look-er-heah, chile, you dun growed er whole pound last night."

"Yas'm," says I, "an' it wuz dis way. While you all wuz er snorin' Mister Dark cumed in an' tried ter skeer me, but I jes' spunked up an' closed my eyes an' opened my mouf an' swallowed Mister Dark right down an' went ter sleep, an' course I'se bigger."

"Give dat smart chile er nudder cake," says Mammy.

Daddy puts de cake in my mouf, an' I starts ter swallow it 'fore I thinks ter say: "I thank you." Den I tries ter say it an' swallow at de same time, but I gits choked. Den I swallows an' swallows an' swallows jes' dis way (Imitate swallowing), an' at last I swallows it down. Den I reaches fer en nudder cake, but it ain't dere.

My cat, she meawed, an' my dawg's tail whopped on de floor, but I ain't gwine ter tell no more stories, no I ain't, till my Mammy makes more hoecakes, an' my Daddy stews more rabbit, an' de great big Mister Dark cums back ter make me grow an' give me er appertite.

OBSERVATION

"Madam," said the negro principal of a public school to an old negro woman who was washing, "I wish your boy to attend my school."

"Whose boy?" asked the old woman as she straightened up and wiped the suds from her arms.

"Your boy, madam."

"Well, ef he's my boy, I reckon I'll look atter him."

She placed one hand on the rim of the tub and resumed washing with the other.

Every few seconds she would change her position, allowing each hand a rest period. She would also change the pitch of a negro melody she was singing, accordingly.

"'Fesser," said she, "is you still waitin'?"

"I am, madam."

"'Fesser, you cyarn't git dis boy."

"Madam, I'll stay and argue with you."

"I won't argue wid you, 'fesser. I'se got ter argue wid dese suds. Does you heah?"

"Your boy, madam, is running wild."

"'Fesser, you don't need ter run. You kin jes' walk. I'se mighty perlite, but does you see dat gate?"

The principal started toward the gate. In passing an ant-hill he walked around it. As he reached the corner of the house a large fierce dog sprang at him. He spoke to the dog, and patted its head. The dog wagged its tail and followed him to the gate. After much trouble he opened and closed the gate and started off at a brisk pace.

"'Fesser! 'fesser!" cried the old woman, "you kin hab dis boy. Come back an' git him right now."

The principal returned and asked the old woman what had converted her.

"It was dem ways of yourn, 'fesser. You's got er mighty good heart in you, 'kase you walked erround dem ants. Dat's jes' de heart I wants ter beat fer my boy. Dat dog bites most folks, but you jes' charmed all de fight outen him. My boy's got er lot of fight an' some meanness in him, but I sees you kin charm dem out. Most folks leaves dat gate open, but you jes' kept on till you closed it. I knows you'll keep at dis boy till you makes er man outen him. Heah's de boy, 'fesser. Jes' take him erlong."

As the principal and boy walked in the street the old woman stood at the gate and said: "Jes' look at dat boy of mine; he's walkin' lack de 'fesser erready."

THE BOY AND THE IDEAL

Once upon a time a Mule, a Hog, a Snake, and a Boy met. Said the Mule: "I eat and labor that I may grow strong in the heels. It is fine to have heels so gifted. My heels make people cultivate distance."

Said the Hog: "I eat and labor that I may grow strong in the snout. It is fine to have a fine snout. I keep people watching for my snout."

"No exchanging heels for snouts," broke in the Mule.

"No," answered the Hog; "snouts are naturally above heels."

Said the Snake: "I eat to live, and live to cultivate my sting. The way people shun me shows my greatness. Beget stings, comrades, and stings will beget glory."

Said the Boy: "There is a star in my life like unto a star in the sky. I eat and labor that I may think aright and feel aright. These rounds will conduct me to my star. Oh, inviting star!"

"I am not so certain of that," said the Mule. "I have noticed your kind and ever see some of myself in them. Your star is in the distance."

The Boy answered by smelling a flower and listening to the song of a bird. The Mule looked at him and said: "He is all tenderness and care. The true and the beautiful have robbed me of a kinsman. His star is near."

Said the Boy: "I approach my star."

"I am not so certain of that," interrupted the Hog. "I have noticed your kind and I ever see some of myself in them. Your star is a delusion."

The Boy answered by painting the flower and setting the notes of the bird's song to music.

The Hog looked at the boy and said: "His soul is attuned by nature. The meddler in him is slain."

"I can all but touch my star," cried the Boy.

"I am not so certain of that," remarked the Snake. "I have watched your kind and ever see some of myself in them. Stings are nearer than stars."

The Boy answered by meditating upon the picture and music. The Snake departed, saying that stings and stars cannot keep company.

The Boy journeyed on, ever led by the star. Some distance away the Mule was bemoaning the presence of his heels and trying to rid himself of them by kicking a tree. The Hog was dividing his time between looking into a brook and rubbing his snout on a rock to shorten it. The Snake lay dead of its own bite. The Boy journeyed on, led by an ever inviting star.

THE NEGRO AND THE AUTOMOBILE

A white man wished to sell an old-time negro an automobile. To this end he took him a spin around the town. Soon something was in the way, and that "honk-honk!" warning was sounded.

"Boss," said the negro, "I don' see no wil' geese 'roun' heah."

As the automobile increased its speed the negro braced himself with his feet and gripped the seat with both hands.

"Is the machine running too fast?" asked the white man.

"I don' keer how fast you runs, but I does objects ter flying," said the negro.

The automobile was stopped and the white man got out. The "works" continued with that "chook-er-chook" sound. The negro, seeing that the wheels were not moving, sprang out excitedly.

"Will you buy the automobile?" asked the white man.

"No, suh," said the negro. "I don' buy no thing lack dat whut flies when hit's running, an' whut runs when hit's standing still. No, suh! Good-by! I'se gone!"

FAITH IN THE WHITE FOLKS

It was night, and Elm Street was dimly lighted. From a negro eating-house that opened into the street came sounds of harsh voices and the rattling of pans. Rachel, the mulatto, who believed everything a white person did or said, and who tested all information with: "Did de white folks say so?" was tugging at her little grandson, who was selling papers.

"I can't sell papers here, grandma."

"Why, son?"

"The folks in the eating-house won't let me."

"Did de white folks say so?"

"No, ma'am. This route was given to another boy."

"Did de white folks do it?"

Just then some one threw a loaf of bread in the eating-house. It passed through the door and struck Rachel. Her little grandson pulled her apron and asked: "Did the white folks do that too?"

"No, child. Dis is de way of it. Dis bread will fatten de chickens. De chickens will sharpen de white folks' wits. De white folks, dey'll boss de niggers; and de niggers, dey'll be niggers still. Come on now, honey child, an' bring de bread erlong wid you."

THE CANE AND THE UMBRELLA

A man who had never seen a cane or an umbrella chanced to be at a sale and bought one of each. He held the umbrella over him and tapped upon the ground with the cane as he walked. The wind rose suddenly. He boarded a car quickly without lowering the umbrella. Away went the car, and away went the umbrella.

He alighted from the car after riding several squares. He was tapping the ground with his cane as he walked.

"How are you?" said a man he had not seen for years, and extended his hand.

"How are you, old friend?" he replied and offered the hand that held the cane, giving his friend a severe whack.

"You rascal!" cried his friend, and knocked him down.

In falling he broke his cane and alighted near the fragments of his umbrella.

"Cane and umbrella," said he, "you are the cause of all my trouble."