CHAPTER XIII.

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of the various occurrences that came under my notice while we lay at Chelsea, which was about five weeks: such as, the great difficulty we had in obtaining a lodging; the many wonderful things to be seen about London; the behaviour of the invalids; to what regiments they belonged, &c. But there is one thing which I think it would certainly be wrong to omit, because it is illustrative of the loving-kindness of the Lord, whose glory we ought to have in view in all that we do.

While I was in this place I found one of my brothers working at Vauxhall bridge, who was one of Mr. Fletcher of the Secession's hearers. My wife and I, therefore, upon the first sabbath after we went ashore, accompanied him to Miles's Lane Chapel, and heard a Mr. M'Donald, I think, who was officiating in the absence of Mr. F. at this time in Scotland. Upon entering the meeting house, a mixture of unutterable reverence and joy thrilled through my soul, while I thought of the solemnity of the place, and looked back on the long dreary period during which I had been deprived of an opportunity of "assembling with the people of God in his house of prayer." But how was I struck with adoring wonder, when the preacher gave out the 63d psalm,

"Lord, thee my God, I'll early seek: My soul doth thirst for thee," &c.

which he prefaced in a very pathetic manner; and during the whole of the explanation, set forth the Psalmist's condition, so exactly applicable to the feelings and circumstances of my past life, particularly in India and in my voyage home; and the next psalm which he gave out was the 122d,

"I joyed when to the house of God, Go up, they said to me," &c.

which was equally applicable to my now happy situation. I found it too much for my feelings, for I thought my heart would have burst with alternate joy and sorrow. Joy, when I saw in this the answer of many a longing desire, "and my prayers returned into mine own bosom;" and sorrow, because of the many unbelieving and ungrateful thoughts I had formerly entertained, that "I should never again see the Lord, even the Lord, in the land of the living," until a flood of concealed tears gave me some relief; and a sweet believing tranquillity took the place of these conflicting passions. The whole of the services of the day corresponded with its commencement, and all had a tendency to refresh and satisfy my thirsty soul, more than the vernal showers of the east could cheer and invigorate the face of languishing nature; and I do trust they "did not return to the Lord void, but prospered in that thing whereunto they were sent." Surely the Psalmist's choice of spending his time was mine, for I certainly esteemed "this day better than a thousand," and found these comforts sweeter to my soul than honey to my mouth. Surely on this happy day, if ever in my life, I found out in a great measure the truth and emphasis of these gracious words: "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled." But, I trust, my dear reader, you will excuse me, when I tell you that I am unable to describe my emotions at this time. However, if you are one of those persons spoken of by the apostle, who "have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil," you can better enter into my state than I am able to inform you; although you cannot be expected to feel to the same degree as I have felt, unless you had suffered, to the same extent, as I have suffered. But if you are really one "of Christ's scholars, and taught by his Holy Spirit, that Spirit dwells in you," and "he will teach you in some measure his own language," and you will know something of what is meant by "the soul being satisfied with marrow and fatness," of the Lord lifting upon his people "the light of his countenance," of "causing his face to shine upon them;" and of "his loving kindness being better than life."--You will know something of "the joy of the Lord," the "joy of God's salvation," and "the joy of the Holy Ghost," "of being filled with all joy and peace in believing;" &c. but if these, and the like passages, be to you an unknown tongue, or a language which you do not understand, I am afraid that you have the alphabet of Christianity to learn yet, and "have need that one teach you over again, which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are indeed among such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat." All that I shall say more upon this subject is, that I found this place to be a Bethel, for surely the Lord was there, for it was to me none other than the house of God, surely it was to me the very gate of heaven.--O taste, and ye shall find also that the Lord is good; and that the man is truly blessed which trusteth in him.

You may be sure we did not remain long in Chelsea, after I passed the board; for I went immediately to Millar's wharf, and found there a vessel bound for Leith. I therefore took our passage in the steerage; but I had cause afterwards to repent that I did not take a cabin passage, for the steerage was so completely stowed with baggage, that all the passengers were obliged to lie upon deck the whole way; this was a mischievous bath, for us particularly, who had just come from India, considering that it was in the month of September.

On landing at Leith we put our baggage into a cart, and went off to Pennycuick immediately, where we were joyfully received; we remained there with our friends a few days, after having been nearly eleven years absent, and having only seen them once during that period, when I visited them, on furlough, from Ireland.

After we had recruited ourselves, we were anxious to get the children settled before I thought of settling myself; and we accordingly went with them to Edinburgh, and took tickets on the outside of the Glasgow coach. When we arrived at that place, we immediately went to Anderston, and found out the dwelling of William Stevenson, the grandfather, on the mother's side, of Serjeant Lee's child. The old folks received us with great expressions of gratitude, on account of what we had done for the poor, destitute orphans of their deceased daughter. The neighbours also came flocking in, to behold the children who were born in such a far distant land; and expressed their astonishment at the way which the providence of God had taken to bring them home, considering that we were in no wise related to any of them. They wrote off to Serjeant Fleming's father, who lived at Kilmarnock, and he no sooner received the intelligence, than he came off to Anderston, accompanied by one of his sons, and when we were all assembled, we spent a very happy day together.

After remaining some time in their company, giving and receiving information, we bethought ourselves of returning home. So Mr. Fleming took the child of his deceased son, and the little girl of the deceased Serjeant Lee remained in Anderston: but Mr. Stevenson, and his wife being old, and apparently very infirm, we told them, that if it was the will of God to remove either of them by death, and in consequence thereof the child should become burdensome to the survivor, or might herself be neglected, that we would still consider ourselves as parents to the child, and do for her in every respect as if she were our own; and requested them, moreover, to be sure to keep up a correspondence with us by letters.

It was not many months after this when I received the news of the old man's death. According to promise, I therefore went from Peebles to Anderston, to bring home the little girl, who still recollected me, calling me _daddy_ when ever I entered the house, and attempted to wash my feet, which were very sore by marching a good way that morning. I stopped a day to rest myself, and during that time she would not allow me to be out of her sight, neither could any of her uncles or aunts induce her to go with them anywhere unless I desired her. I thought it would be my best plan, both for expedition and on account of the child, to take a ticket in the coach: so I acted accordingly. When we reached Edinburgh, I went to a house, head of the Candlemaker Row, and found there a return-chaise for Peebles, at which I was very happy, and we set off as soon as the driver was ready, as I was anxious to get home. We arrived safe at Peebles about eleven o'clock at night; but, when I knocked at the door, which my wife had just shut, preparing for bed, she could hardly believe that I could have so soon returned. But, when she saw her poor little dear, as she called her, she took her in her arms, and embraced her with all the symptoms of an affectionate mother who had been robbed of her innocent, that was now again restored to her arms, her bosom, and her affections.

Now, my dear reader, this is what became of the orphans, and who knows but God, whose "way is in the sea, and whose path is in the great waters;" may intend this poor little Indian orphan to sooth our dying bed, and to be our greatest earthly friend, when a true friend is valuable.--While we were in Peebles, I tried my old occupation of working at the loom; but I was compelled to leave it off, as this employment would not agree with my constitution, being much afflicted with a pain in the breast, and a giddiness in my head; which were truly distressing.

We had not lived long in Peebles after the child came to us, when I received a letter directed, Serjeant B----, Peebles, late of the Royal Scots. When I looked at the back of the letter, I could not understand who was the writer, yet I thought the hand familiar; but when I opened it, to my great astonishment I found it to be from Colonel Stewart, saying that he had just learned that I was returned from India in a very bad state of health, which he was very sorry for; and said, moreover, that if he could be of any service in procuring any situation suitable for me, he would be happy to do it, and likewise expressed a desire to see me. I accordingly went to his country seat near Stirling, where he had just gone; and, after many kind inquiries upon both sides, he asked me if I could point out any thing that he or his interest could do for me. I expressed my gratitude in the best way I could for his kind offer, but told him that I could think of nothing but a drum-major's situation in a local militia corps, though at the same time I said, that I was afraid that it would be difficult to be obtained; but it did not appear so to him, and he hoped that he would soon be able to procure it. He desired me to remain all night, and gave his servants particular charge to pay all possible attention to my comfort.

I had not returned to Peebles above three weeks, when I received a letter from this kind friend, informing me that he had obtained a situation for me in the Greenock Local Militia; and I accordingly went and took the charge of that corps the following week: but there is nothing in this world to be depended on; for I had not enjoyed my new situation, in which I received half-a-guinea weekly, above six months, when an order came for the staffs of these regiments to be broke. But Colonel Stewart again voluntarily befriended me, for he recommended me, previous to this taking place, to the notice of his brother, at this time bailie of Greenock, who fell upon a plan for assisting me. The gentlemen of Greenock had often expressed a wish for a billiard-table, that they might amuse themselves at a vacant hour; and Mr. Stewart having a room suitable for the purpose, agreed to fit it up as a billiard-room, if I would take the situation of marker to the billiard-table. I told him I would be very happy to do it, but that it was an affair with which I was entirely unacquainted; but he said that it was very easily learned, and that I would soon be master of the business. I accordingly took the charge of this room; for which I received a very equitable reward.

I had not been long in my new situation, when I understood my duty pretty well; and observing that I would have much spare time, I wished to turn it to some good account. I therefore made inquiry at a very intelligent acquaintance, if he could inform me where I could get a book that contained portions of Scripture, arranged under different heads, as I wished to write them out, and thereby get better acquainted with the contents of my Bible: and by this employment might at once be both amused and instructed. So he recommended Dr. Chalmers's "Scripture References," telling me, that it was the very kind of book I was seeking. I went and procured it immediately; and I did not let much time pass, until I commenced writing out, in full, the passages referred to by the Doctor; but when I came to that head, "Duties under Affliction," how agreeably was I surprised, when I found, under it, that blessed passage which gave me so much relief and comfort in the Prince of Wales' Island, "Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver thee: and thou shalt glorify me."

The reader may be rather surprised that I never before this hour had seen these precious words, and may be apt to draw, not unfairly, this conclusion, that "if I had read my Bible much, I certainly would have seen this delightful promise before now." I do freely acknowledge that I have not read my Bible with that attention and frequency I might have done, and ought to have done, though I have, upon the whole, endeavoured to make myself acquainted with it by frequent reading; but, by not going regularly through it, I had never happened to meet with the above passage, although it was now fully ten years since it was a mean, in the hand of the spirit which dictated it, of "turning for me my mourning into dancing, and girding me with gladness." After I was finished, therefore, with the scripture references, and not being yet tired with this pleasant labour, I added other three parts to my intended Pocket Companion, _viz._ a Selection of Passages from Mr. Henry's Method for Prayer; an Explanation of the Principal Religious Terms from Mr. Brown's Dictionary of the Bible; and Extracts from Mr. M'Ewan's Essays. When these four parts were finished, I had the whole bound together into a pretty sizeable volume, the substance of which I intended to commit to memory. But I had not finished this work many days, when Mr. W----, our minister, came to see us, as he frequently did, and asked me what I had been doing this long time, that I had never given him a call. I told him how I had been employed. He expressed a desire to see what I had been writing, and I showed him the book. After he had examined it a little, he asked me if I would allow him to peruse it for a few days? I said, he was perfectly welcome to do that. When he had done so, he came back to our house with the book, and expressed his satisfaction with regard to the usefulness and conciseness of the compilation; and told me that it was an excellent work, (if I could think of publishing it,) for the instruction of servants, seamen, and even the greater part of the labouring classes, who had little time to peruse, or money to purchase books, where those useful subjects were set forth more at large, and above all, that it might be unspeakably useful to assist or to prepare people who were lately, or about to be married, in their family devotions and instructions. I at first could upon no account think of consenting to his request; but I told him that I would consider about it a few days. He returned in a short time afterwards to know my determination. I said that I would be very happy to publish the book, if I really thought it would be useful to my fellow men, particularly as I had as much money by me as would pay for printing a few hundred copies; but I said also, that I was ashamed of my name being affixed to a printed book, even though it was a compilation. This objection, however, he obviated, by stating, that it might be published without a name; and, in short, having brought matters thus far, he went and made a bargain with a printer; and after the impression was thrown off, he recommended it very warmly from the pulpit, and not only he, but two other clergymen, also recommended it in strong language, particularly to servants and seamen. In consequence of all this, I either sold or gave away the whole impression in little more than a twelvemonth.

We remained in Greenock until the year 1820, at which time both duty and inclination seemed to call us to Edinburgh, on account of my old parents, who resided there, and were, at this period, in a very poor state of health; that we might try if we could do any thing for the comfort of them who could now scarcely do any thing for themselves; while their other children were unable to afford them much relief, on account of their numerous families. Another weighty motive for my removal was, that I would there have an opportunity of consulting a very able physician, with whom I was well acquainted, as he had been assistant surgeon[23] in our regiment all the time I was in India, whom I knew to understand perfectly my constitution, and the many and severe attacks it had sustained, from different disorders, while in that country, which had rendered a once healthy bodily frame, now almost totally useless; for I had enjoyed a very indifferent state of health ever since my sore illness in Trichinopoly. The person to whom I allude was Dr. B----, a gentleman whose indefatigable and successful labours, in ascertaining the nature and cure of the diseases of hot climates, for the benefit of the men under his charge, are well known to every man in the regiment.

[23] This medical officer left our regiment, being promoted to the rank of head surgeon to his majesty's 33d regiment; and, at this time, was practising for himself in Edinburgh.

I therefore left Greenock at the Whitsunday term, and finding myself still in the same delicate state, I went to Dr. B----, who received me with great expressions of kindness. He inquired very particularly into every circumstance with regard to my health since I left India; which gave me an opportunity of relating the various modes of treatment which had been prescribed to me by different medical men to whom I had applied without finding any permanent benefit. After having satisfied all his inquiries as well as I could, he said that he was afraid that their mode of treatment was calculated rather to do harm than good, but that he would call at my lodgings in a day or two. He accordingly came most punctually; and, after having made all due inquiry for ascertaining the true nature of my complaint, he told me that my liver was in a very bad state, and that he would strongly recommend me to submit to a course of mercury, &c. With this proposal I readily complied; and, having undergone that course of treatment which his superior skill thought proper to administer, I derived unspeakable benefit from it. A short time after I was able to go abroad with safety, I went to his house, at his desire, and called upon him, to let him know how well I was coming on. I was also, no doubt, anxious by this time to know the amount of his bill, which, I thought must be considerable, when I took into the account his own personal attendance, for about nine weeks; but how was my astonishment excited, when he told me that, as I was an old fellow-traveller, and brother soldier, the amount of my bill was nothing; but that I was perfectly welcome to all that he had done for me; and, moreover, that he would be very happy to serve me, or my family, at any time when medical attendance was necessary.

I confess I am unable, my dear reader, to express, in words, a proper sense of this gentleman's kindness; I therefore think it the best way of manifesting my gratitude, by being silent, and desiring that the generous reader would place himself, as it were, in my situation, and try what he would think or feel upon such an occasion: but this I will say, that I have, since the time referred to, enjoyed a better state of health than ever I have had these nine years past, and I trust I will carry the grateful remembrance of Dr. B.'s beneficial benevolence to my last hour.

There is just one other circumstance that I will mention, as it is rather singular, and then come to a conclusion. After I settled in Edinburgh, there was a meeting of our family, consisting of eight children, all being present on this occasion but one, who was a mason in England. Now it is somewhat remarkable, that of these now present, four had been but a little time before scattered very widely all over the world. My oldest brother at that time belonged to the artillery, and was in America; I myself, who am next in the order of time, was in India; the third was in Spain with the 94th, having been engaged in all the actions to which that gallant regiment was called; the last and youngest of the four, was in Ireland, with the Renfrewshire militia; yet, by the kind providence of God, our aged parents saw us now all under one roof; all out of the army, each rewarded according to his various services, and all settled in a way of doing, in or near Edinburgh, each of us according to our ability at this time engaging to add to their future comfort, which you cannot doubt made them a happy couple, and you need not wonder at them adopting language similar to that of the ancient and venerable Patriarch, when his son Joseph was restored to his embraces in safety, after he had long lost all hope of his being in life: "Now Lord let us die in peace, since we have seen our children's faces, and because that they are yet alive."

My wife has still retained an excellent state of health, notwithstanding all her former hard marches, being blessed with one of the best constitutions I have ever known any woman possessed of; and the poor little invalid that cost her so much nursing, is also a very fine healthy child. The other child, who went to Kilmarnock, we have heard lately is also in perfect good health. My wife's daughter, who came to us in Greenock, is also quite well, and still forms a part of our little family. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." And when I consider all the way that the Lord our God has led us, for so many years in the wilderness, I am here disposed, with Jacob, to set up my monument of gratitude with this inscription--

"HITHERTO THE LORD HATH HELPED US."

FINIS.

Printed by Balfour & Clarke, Edinburgh, 1823.

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Transcriber's note:

Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note.

The book was printed with two Chapters numbered IV and no