Part 3

I left Raymond and returned to my room. My neighbor was not fully persuaded that it was Agathe whom he had seen; but I had at least, by my stratagem, reserved for myself an answer to his gossip; and if he should talk, I could easily persuade people that he was asleep and had not seen things as they were.

"But," you will say, "by that falsehood you destroyed another woman's reputation. Who is this Agathe whom you put forward so inconsiderately?"

This Agathe is my last mistress, with whom I had broken only a short time before; she is a milliner, very lively, very alluring, and very wanton! She had sometimes done me the honor to come to me to ask hospitality for the night; my neighbor had often seen her going in and out of my room, so that once more or less would do her no harm. Her reputation was in no danger, as you see.

Now that I have told you about Mademoiselle Agathe, with whom Monsieur Raymond did not know that I had fallen out, not being in my confidence, I return to Nicette, who is in my apartment, waiting for me. It was half-past one in the morning; but there is time for a great deal between that hour and daybreak! My heart beat fast! Faith! I had no idea what the night would bring to pass.

V

WHAT THE NIGHT BROUGHT TO PASS

"What a funny man that is!" said Nicette, as I entered the room with a light. "When I saw that figure, in his shirt, that neckerchief tied with a lover's knot, that big nose, and those surprised eyes, I couldn't keep from laughing."

"I must confess, Mademoiselle Nicette, that you cause me a lot of trouble!"

"Do I, monsieur? Oh! I am so sorry!"

"But here we are in my rooms at last, God be praised! I don't quite know, though, how you are to go out!"

"Pardine! through the door, as I came."

"That's easy for you to say! However, we will see, when to-morrow comes."

Nicette looked about her. She examined my apartment, my furniture; she followed me into each room; I had only three, by the way: a small reception room, a bedroom, and a study where I worked, or read, or played the piano, or did whatever else I chose.

"Sit down and rest," I said.

"Oh! in a moment, monsieur; you see----"

She glanced at my couch and my easy-chairs; she seemed to be afraid to go near them. I could not help smiling at her embarrassment.

"Doesn't the apartment please you?" I inquired.

"Oh! yes, indeed, monsieur! but it's all so fine and so shiny! I'm afraid of spoiling something."

"You need not be afraid."

I led her to the couch, and almost forced her to sit down by my side.

"I am alone, you see, Nicette; you have come to a bachelor's quarters."

"Oh! I don't care about that, monsieur; at any rate, I didn't have any choice."

"Then you're not afraid to pass the night with me?"

"No, monsieur; I see that you're an honorable man, and that I needn't be afraid of anything in your rooms."

"Oho! she sees that I am an honorable man!" said I to myself; "in that case, I must have a very captivating countenance. However, I am not ill-looking; some women say that I am rather handsome; and this girl isn't afraid to pass the night with a good-looking bachelor! Perhaps she thinks me ugly."

These reflections annoyed me; while making them, I looked at Nicette more closely than I had hitherto been able to do. She was really very good-looking; a face at once piquant and sweet, and with some character--absolutely unlike what we ordinarily find in a flower girl: she had the freshness and charm of her flowers, and she was the daughter of a fruit peddler, of Mother Jérôme! There are such odd contrasts in nature; however, I could but acknowledge that chance had been very favorable to me this time. I began to be quite reconciled to my evening's entertainment; I forgot the grisette and the _petite-maîtresse_, to think solely of the charming face at my side.

As I gazed at the girl, I had moved nearer to her; I softly passed my arm about her waist; and the more favorable the examination, the more tightly I pressed the red gown.

Nicette did not speak, but she seemed agitated; her bosom rose and fell more frequently, her respiration became shorter; she kept her eyes on the floor. Suddenly she extricated herself from my embrace, rose, and asked me, in a trembling voice, where she was to pass the night.

That question embarrassed me; I admit that I had not yet thought of that. I glanced at Nicette; her lovely eyes were still fastened on the floor. Was she afraid to meet mine? Did she love me already? and---- Nonsense! that infernal self-esteem of mine was off at a gallop!

"We have time enough to think about that, Nicette. Do you feel sleepy?"

"Oh, no! it ain't that, monsieur."

"Ah! so there's another reason, is there?"

"I don't want to be in your way; you told me you was tired, too."

"That has all passed away; I have forgotten it."

"Never mind, monsieur; show me where I can pass the night. I'll go into one of the other rooms. I shall be very comfortable on a chair, and----"

"Pass the night on a chair! Nonsense! you mustn't think of such a thing!"

"Oh, yes! I ain't hard to suit, monsieur."

"No matter; I shan't consent to that. But sit down, Nicette, there's no hurry now. Come and sit down. Are you afraid to sit beside me?"

"No, monsieur."

But she took her seat at the other end of the couch. Her blushing face and her confusion betrayed a part of her sensations. I myself was embarrassed--think of it! with a flower girl! Indeed, it was just because she was a flower girl that I didn't know where to begin. I give you my word, reader, that I should have made much more rapid progress with a _grande dame_ or a grisette.

"Do you know, Nicette, that you are charming?"

"I have been told so, monsieur."

"You must have many men making love to you?"

"Oh! there's some that try to fool me when they come to buy flowers of me; but I don't listen to 'em."

"Why do you think that they are trying to fool you?"

"Oh! because they're swells--like you."

"So, if I should mention the word _love_ to you, you would think----"

"That you was making fun of me. Pardi! that's plain enough!"

That beginning was not of good augury. No matter, I continued the attack, moving gradually nearer the girl.

"I swear to you, Nicette, that I never make fun of anyone!"

"All men say that!"

"Besides, you are quite pretty enough to arouse a genuine passion."

"Yes, a passion of a fortnight! Oh! I ain't to be caught in that trap."

"On my honor, you are too pretty for a flower girl."

"Bah! you are joking."

"If you chose, Nicette, you could find something better to do than that."

"No, monsieur, no; I don't want to sell anything but bouquets. Oh! I ain't vain. I refused Beauvisage, who's got money, and who'd have given me calico dresses, caps _à la glaneuse_, and gilt chains; but all those things didn't tempt me. When I don't like a person, nothing can make me change my mind."

She was not covetous; so that it was necessary to win her regard in order to obtain anything from her. I determined to win her regard. But I have this disadvantage when I try to make myself agreeable: I never know what I am saying; that was why I sat for ten minutes without speaking a word to Nicette, contenting myself with frequent profound sighs and an occasional cough, to revive the conversation. But Nicette was very innocent, or perhaps she meant to laugh at me when she said with great sang-froid:

"Have you got a bad cold, monsieur?"

I blushed at my idiocy; the idea of being so doltish and timid with a flower seller! Really, I hardly recognized myself.

And the better to recognize myself, I put my arms about Nicette and tried to draw her into my lap.

"Let go of me, monsieur; let go, I beg you!"

"Why, what harm are we doing, Nicette?"

"I don't want you to squeeze me so tight."

"One kiss, and I'll let you go."

"Just one, all right."

Her consent was necessary, for she was very well able to defend herself; she was strong and could make a skilful use of her hands and knees; and as I was not accustomed to contests of that sort, in which our society ladies give us little practice, I began to think that I should find it difficult to triumph over the girl.

She gave me permission to kiss her, and I made the most of it; trusting in my promise, she allowed me to take that coveted kiss, and offered me her fresh, rosy cheek, still graced with the down of youth and innocence.

But I desired a still greater privilege; I longed to steal from a lovely pair of lips a far sweeter kiss. Nicette tried, but too late, to prevent me. I took one, I took a thousand. Ah! how sweet were those kisses that I imprinted on Nicette's lips! Saint-Preux found Julie's bitter; but I have never detected a trace of bitterness in a pretty woman's kisses; to be sure, I am no Saint-Preux, thank heaven!

A consuming flame coursed through my veins. Nicette shared my emotion; I could tell by the expression of her eyes, by the quivering of her whole frame. I sought to take advantage of her confusion to venture still further; but she repulsed me, she tore herself from my arms, rushed to the door, and was already on the landing, when I overtook her and caught her by her skirt.

"Where in heaven's name are you going, Nicette?"

"I am going away, monsieur."

"What's that?"

"Yes, monsieur, I am going away; I see now that I mustn't pass the night here in your rooms; I wouldn't have believed that you'd take advantage of my trouble to---- But since I made a mistake, I'm going away."

"Stop, for heaven's sake! Where would you go?"

"Oh! I don't know about that; but it don't make any difference! I see that I'd be safer in the street than alone here with you."

I felt that I deserved that reproach. The girl was virtuous; she had placed herself under my protection without distrust; she had asked me for hospitality, and I was about to take advantage of her helpless plight, to seduce her! That was contemptible behavior. But I may say, in my own justification, that I did not know Nicette, and that, for all the artless simplicity of her language, a young girl who suggests to a man that she pass the night under his roof certainly lays herself open to suspicion, especially in Paris, where innocent young maids are so rare.

She still held the door ajar, and I did not relax my grasp of her skirt. I looked in her face, and saw great tears rolling down her cheeks. Poor child! it was I who caused them to fall! She seemed prettier to me than ever; I was tempted to throw myself at her feet and beg her to forgive me. But what! I, on my knees before a street peddler! Do not be alarmed: I did not offend the proprieties to that extent.

"I beg you to remain, Nicette," I said, at last.

"No, monsieur; I made a mistake about you; I must go."

"Listen to me; in the first place, you can't go away from the house alone; at this time of night the concierge opens the door only to those who give their names."

"Oh! but I remember your name; it's Dorsan."

"It isn't enough to give my name; she would know that it wasn't my voice."

"All right; then I'll stay in the courtyard till morning."

"Excellent; everybody will see you; and think of the remarks and tittle-tattle of all the cooks of the quarter! It's bad enough that that infernal Raymond should have seen you. Come back to my rooms, Nicette; I promise, yes, I swear, to behave myself and not to torment you."

She hesitated; she looked into my face, and doubtless my eyes told her all that was taking place in my mind; for she closed the door of the landing, and smiled at me, saying:

"I believe you, and I'll stay."

In my joy I was going to kiss her again; but I checked myself, and I did well: oaths amount to so little!

"But, monsieur," she said, "we can't pass the night sitting in your big easy-chair."

She was quite right; that would have been too dangerous.

"You will sleep in my bed," I replied, "and I will pass the night on the sofa in my study. No objections, mademoiselle; I insist upon it. You will be at liberty to double-lock my study door; you can go to sleep without the slightest fear. Does that suit you?"

"Yes, monsieur."

We went back into my bedroom; I lighted another candle, and carried the couch into my study, with Nicette's assistance. I confess that that operation was a painful one to me. However, it was done at last.

"Now you may go to bed and sleep in peace. Good-night, Nicette!"

"Good-night, monsieur!"

I took my candle and retired to my study, closing the door behind me. There we were, in our respective quarters. I blew out the candle and threw myself on the couch. If only I could sleep; time passes so quickly then! And yet, we sleep about a third part of our lives! and we are always glad to plunge into that oblivion, albeit we stand in fear of death, which is simply a never-ending sleep, during which it is certain that one is not disturbed by bad dreams!

Sleep, indeed! In vain did I stretch myself out, and twist and turn in every direction. I could not sleep; it was impossible. I concluded to resign myself to the inevitable, and I began to recall the incidents of my extraordinary evening; I thought of Caroline, of the charming woman at the theatre, of that infernal cabman. I tried to put Nicette out of my thoughts; but she constantly returned; I strove in vain to banish her. The idea that she was close at hand, within a few feet of me, that only a thin partition separated me from her--that idea haunted me! When I thought that I might be beside her, that I might hold her in my arms and give her her first lessons in love and pleasure--then I lost my head, my blood boiled. Only Nicette's consent was needed to make us happy, and she would not give it! To be sure, that same happiness might have results most embarrassing to her.

I had the fidgets in my legs. I rose and paced the floor, but very softly; perhaps she was asleep, and I would not wake her. Poor child! she had had trouble enough during the evening, and I was afraid that still greater trouble was in store for her; for if her mother persisted in her refusal to take her in, what would she do? Until that moment, I had not given a thought to her future.

But I had not heard the key turn in the lock; therefore, she had not locked herself in. That was strange; evidently she relied on my oath. What imprudence, to believe in a young man's promises!

Was she asleep or not? that was what tormented me. For half an hour I stood close against the door, turning first one ear, then the other, and listening intently; but I could hear nothing. I looked through the keyhole; there was a light in the room; was it from caution, or forgetfulness?

But she had not locked the door. Ah! perhaps she had locked it without my hearing it. It was very easy to satisfy myself on that point. I turned the knob very gently, and the door opened. I stopped, fearing that I had made a noise. But I heard nothing. If I could see her for a moment asleep, see her in bed--for there, and only there can one judge a woman's beauty fairly. I leaned forward; the candle stood on the commode, at some little distance from the bed. I stepped into the room, holding my breath, and stood by her side. She was not undressed; I might have guessed as much. I turned to walk away. Ah! those miserable shoes! they squeaked, and Nicette awoke. I determined to change my shoemaker.

"Do you want anything, monsieur?" she asked.

"No; that is to say, yes, I--I was looking for a book; but I have found it."

I returned quickly to my study, feeling that I must have cut a sorry figure. The door was closed, and I was not tempted to open it again. Ah! how long that night seemed to me! The day came at last!

VI

MADEMOISELLE AGATHE

It was long after daybreak. People were already going and coming in the house, and I had not yet ventured to wake Nicette. She was sleeping so soundly! and the preceding day had been a day of tempest, after which rest was essential. But I heard a movement at last; she rose, opened the door, and came toward me, smiling.

"Monsieur, will you allow me to kiss you?"

I understood: that was my reward for my continence during the night, and it was well worth it. She kissed me with evident pleasure, and I began to feel the enjoyment that one is likely to feel when one has no occasion for self-reproach.

"Now, Nicette, let us talk seriously; but, no, let us breakfast first of all; we can talk quite as well at table. You must feel the need of something to eat, do you not?"

"Yes, monsieur, I should like some breakfast right well."

"I always keep something on hand for unexpected guests."

"Tell me where everything is, monsieur, and I'll set the table."

"On the sideboard yonder, and in the drawers."

"All right, all right!"

She ran to fetch what we required. In two minutes the table was set. I admired Nicette's grace and activity; a little maid-servant like that, I thought, would suit me infinitely better than my concierge, Madame Dupont, who took care of my rooms. But, apropos of Madame Dupont, suppose she should appear? We had time enough, however; for it was only seven o'clock, and the concierge, knowing that I was a little inclined to be lazy, never came up before eight. So that we could breakfast at our ease.

"Let us talk a little, Nicette. I am interested in your future; you cannot doubt that."

"You have proved it, monsieur."

"What are you going to do when you leave me?"

"Go back to my mother."

"That is quite right; but suppose she still refuses to let you in?"

"I will try to find work; I will go out to service, if I must; perhaps I shall be able to get in somewhere."

"Undoubtedly; but who can say what sort of people you will encounter, and what hands you will fall into? Young and pretty as you are, you will find it harder than others might to get a suitable place, if, as I assume, you mean to remain virtuous."

"Oh! indeed I do mean to remain virtuous, monsieur."

"I know what men are; they are almost all libertines; marriage puts no curb on their passions. Wherever you take service, your masters will make you some unequivocal proposals, and will maltreat you if you reject them."

"Then I will leave the house; I'll hire myself out to a single lady."

"Old maids are exacting, and keep their young servants in close confinement, for fear that they may walk the streets and make acquaintances. Young women receive much company, and will set you a dangerous example."

"How good you talk this morning!"

"Don't wonder at that; a drunkard is a connoisseur in wine, a welcher in horses, a painter in pictures, a libertine in methods of seduction. For the very reason that I am not virtuous, I am better able than another to warn you of the risks you are about to run. Experience teaches. You did not yield to me, and I desire to preserve you for the future. Don't be grateful to me for it; very likely, it is simply a matter of self-esteem on my part, for I feel that it would be distressing to me to see the profanation of a flower that I have failed to pluck. You understand me, don't you, Nicette?"

"Yes, yes, monsieur! I'm no prude, and I know what you mean! But don't be afraid! How could I give another what I refused you?"

She said this with evident feeling and sincerity. Clearly she liked me; I could not doubt it; she was all the more praiseworthy for having resisted me.

"After all, my dear girl, I don't see why you shouldn't continue to sell flowers; it is better suited to you than domestic service."

"That is true, monsieur, but----"

"I understand you. Here, Nicette, take this purse; you may accept it without a blush, for it is not the price of your dishonor. I am simply doing you a favor, lending you a little money, if you like that better."

"Oh! monsieur, money--from a young man! What will people think of that?"

"You must not say from whom you got it."

"When a girl suddenly has money in her possession, people think, they imagine that----"

"Let the gossips chatter, and force them to hold their tongues by the way you behave."

"My mother----"

"A mother who refuses to support her child has no right to demand an account of her actions."

"But this purse--you are giving me too much, monsieur."

"The purse contains only three hundred francs; I won it two days ago at écarté. Really, Nicette, if you knew how easily money is lost at cards, you would be less grateful to me for this trifle."

"A trifle! three hundred francs! enough to set me up in business! Why, monsieur, it's a treasure!"

"Yes, to you who know the full value of money, and use it judiciously. But things are valuable only so long as they are in their proper place."

"All this means, I suppose, that you are very rich?"

"It means that, having been brought up in affluence, accustomed to gratify all my whims, I am not familiar enough with the value of money. This three hundred francs that I offer you, I should probably lose at cards without a pang; so take the money, Nicette; you can give it back to me, if the day ever comes when I need it."

"Oh, yes! whenever you want it, monsieur; everything I have will always be at your service."

"I don't doubt it, my dear friend; so that business is settled."

"Yes, monsieur; if my mother sends me away, I'll hire a small room, I'll buy flowers; I'll be saving and orderly, and perhaps some day I'll get where I can have a nice little shop of my own."

"Then you will marry according to your taste, and you'll be happy."

"Perhaps so! but let's not talk about that, monsieur."

"Well! time flies; it's nearly eight o'clock, and you must go, Nicette."

"Yes, monsieur, that is true; whenever you say the word. But I--is----"

"What do you want to say?"

"Shan't I see you again?"

"Yes, indeed; I hope to see you often. If you move to another quarter, you must leave your new address with my concierge."

"Very well, monsieur; I won't fail."

The child was in evident distress; she turned her face away to conceal her tears. Could it be that she was sorry to leave me? What nonsense! We had known each other only since the night before! And yet, I too was unhappy at parting from her.

She was certain to meet one or more servants on the stairs; but what was she to do? there was no other way out. She promised to go down very rapidly, and to hurry under the porte cochère.

I kissed her affectionately--too affectionately for a man who had given her three hundred francs; it was too much like taking compensation for the gift.

I opened the door leading to the landing, and stood aside to let Nicette go out first, when a roar of laughter made me look up. That fiendish Raymond's door was open, and he stood inside with a young woman; that young woman was Agathe!

It was a contemptible trick. I recognized Raymond's prying curiosity and Agathe's spirit of mischief. They were on the watch for me, no doubt; possibly they had been on sentry-go since daybreak. But how did it happen that Agathe was there? She had never spoken to Raymond. I swore that he should pay me for his perfidy.

Nicette looked at me, trying to read in my eyes whether she should go forward or back. It was useless to pretend any longer; perhaps, indeed, if there were any further delay, Monsieur Raymond would succeed in collecting a large part of the household on my landing. So I pushed Nicette toward the stairs.

"Adieu, Monsieur Dorsan!" she said sadly.

"Adieu, adieu, my child! I hope that your mother---- I will see--you shall hear--perhaps we may--adieu!"

I had no idea what I was saying; anger and vexation impeded my utterance. But Nicette, who was moved by but one sentiment,--regret at leaving me,--wiped the tears from her eyes with a corner of her apron.

"Ha! ha! this is really sentimental!" laughed Mademoiselle Agathe, as she watched the girl go downstairs; "what! tears and sighs! Ha! ha! it's enough to make one die of laughing! But I should be much obliged to you, monsieur, if you would tell me how it happened that I was at a ball with you last night, and disguised, without knowing anything about it. Well! why don't you speak? don't you hear me?"