Part 10

She practised in her chamber now, above the street, close to the lower boughs of the great elm tree, remote from interruption, and in her zeal Conway kept with her in mind, delighting with her in each graceful run and in each whispering trill. She would speak to him continually, commenting on each effort and each achievement, assuming him in mind as a companion. “You hear that?” she would say, or “How’s that for a few first-hand remarks on the joy of being above the ground? Of running around the wheel of the seasons?” Or, inarticulate before what she did, articulating only with the cry of the strings, she felt such rush of impulse as would say: Here in this succession of sound cries out a sorrow greater than our personal sorrows, the sorrow of the whole of man at finding himself in an earth addicted to time. As would say: Here in the adagio man spreads out the infinite tentacles of his multiform being, his personality, and lays, kind for kind, each sensitive feeler upon a like that protrudes from the Source. As would say: This theme, a pastoral from some central-European rolling plain, is ours as we sit in the heart of this land where the seasons rise and fall in waves, a melancholy procession, and men mark their time with their labor as they roll the soil over from year to year endlessly plowing. Conway was with her in these articulations, in the breath of her throat, in the beat of her right hand over the gut wires. The people went by, fluttering to the county fair and back, and August was over. A disaster from the outside world, reported, passed over the town and left a ripple of hysteria. Theodosia played in her chamber, except on the day set for the appearance of her master, above the shock of the street, above the calamity, relating her carefully guarded playing, guardedly within its bounds, to Conway. The town had begun to rumble of a mishap of its own.

Through the buying and selling of the town, the greetings and passings here and there, a mishap had begun to be felt. A young woman, a girl named Minnie Harter, was known to be bearing a child. Whispers of this had floated over the gossip of the streets and the porches. Minnie was a plump soft girl who limped slightly when she walked. She lived with her parents at the end of the street, near the house where Conway had lived. Whispers said that she had had too many intimates. The long roadway up the avenue under the trees now led to Minnie’s door as the shock of her ill-doing mounted and frayed out to a settled fact. The rumor of Minnie came upon Theodosia as she worked over the adagio one summer morning, or it faintly colored her sense of her act as she darned the household linens that were now worn and thin. Looking intently at the lapping threads of the cloth as she darned, she penetrated the folding lines of cotton, one up and one down, over and over, they unsatisfied and completed in one instant, and she searched minutely into the flash of recognition that had accompanied her first seeing when reality had lain on the instant just behind the warp and weft of these accurately braided lines of old worn cloth. “Some truth is near at hand,” she thought, striving to regain the acumen of the lost moment. She became more cool and more abstracted, passing to another mood regarding her playing, as if some cold disinterested part stood outside herself. In this temper she searched into the limitations of her hand, at the end of an hour of duos with her master, and pried out each truth, flinching from nothing, testing her reach as if it were the reach of some other musician, some hand remote from her in which she had only a curious interest.

“And that marks the limit of what you can do in that direction.... Your mind can go beyond your hand....” The master made her points clear.

Theodosia leaned over the instrument, her mind cool before these words, a sensation as of a keen blade cutting a cold path down her back near her spine. “Then I’ll make a new instrument,” her sad arrogance said. Determination yielded nothing before the words of her master. “I’ll not be stopped,” she said. “If this instrument can’t serve me.... I’m still here.”

At practice her mind turned continually to Conway, relating to him the curious limitations of musical machines, tools, implements, and retold to him her predicament in half-amused despair that yielded nothing. “We’re here,” she said, addressing Song, taking Conway with her as she walked impudently up to the face of Song. “They can remake the thing,” she said. “They must make a new kind.... You’re not done with us yet.”

The summer was passing. Mr. Reed called on Anthony again, sitting with him in the shade of the gallery, and after his departure Theodosia felt the renewed distress that had settled over her grandfather’s day. Ruth Robinson came but seldom now, or if she came she seemed vague, matter-of-fact, unlovely, preoccupied, ready to go soon after her coming. “Ours is a dull house now,” Theodosia thought, and she turned again to her grandfather’s need. She decided to stop her lessons for a time, for she was afraid that the bill would never be paid. She scarcely dared to give her distrust of her grandfather’s further ability to pay as a reason for her act, and so she asked for a vacation. She was in need of a rest, she said. She stressed her weariness and recalled that the summer had been very warm. Having established the season of vacation with the teacher, she said, “I will pay whatever is owed. You may send the bill to me.”

One or two students had applied to her for tuition, and presently another came, boys who were too immature in their talent to interest her own teacher, and she thought that after a little she might find a class of beginning students in the town. She practised many hours, relating her playing over and over to her devotion to Conway, glancing at his beautiful pictured face. “We’re here,” she said, addressing Song with her mind where the value of a phrase was tasted even before it was played and where harmonies were heard. She took delight in the lyric quality of the instrument and in her running fingers, and she had a pensive happiness in the running, singing parts she played, or she supplied a second-fiddle part in her thought, her ear leaning inwardly to listen. The whispers of the town came but faintly into her intense preoccupations. “I can’t be called upon to decide the paternity of Minnie Harter’s young one,” she said, addressing the town as she set her bow over the strings, a cruel saying, as she knew, as she commented upon all cruelty then with plucked wires. “Her lameness has set her apart,” the plucked strings said, “and her isolation has made her wanton.”

“A smart say-so,” her own lips replied to the last speaker. “It’s easy to summarize other people in their talents and ways. It’s all, likely, not so easy to Minnie Harter herself.” The dialogue continued.

The whispers of the town became less hushed. They began to penetrate her chamber or to meet her in her walks, to meet her in Frank’s diligent talk of other matters. The settled fact, accepted by the town, came accidentally upon her in her passing to and fro, came from Aunt Bet, from Siver’s shuffled tread and shifted glance, from Americy’s lowered eyelids. Horace brought the last bold word, the summary. Minnie Harter had called out a name in the hour of birth.

“I see by the papers that Conway was acquainted with Minnie,” Horace said. “Did you know Minnie, Dosia?”

“Oh, yes. At school, I knew her.”

“Oh, incomparable brown eyes and the lispen tongue. Just enough limp to make her, you might say, appealen. ‘Oh, wait for me, Minnie,’ and her walk said, ‘I’ll wait.’ Conway knew Minnie. All the town in a whisper. Simplest thing on earth. Not worth one damn ‘hush.’ Easy to know and lived next door.”

“The story they tell, it’s not true,” she said softly. “It’s not true.”

Some part of her knowledge of which she had not been taking account seemed to be speaking to her suddenly out of a confused dark, speaking, rejecting, foretelling. Indignation and pain clouded her thinking, and her protective sense surrounded all that was left of Conway so that she spoke angrily, arisen now to become a flame of anger. “It’s not true. Minnie Harter lied. What is there to do?... In the face of the town what can I do?”

* * * * *

Her business with the three students occupied very much of her time, for she helped them generously with their practice. She knew that the report Minnie Harter had made was not true. It might have been true in the nature of the earth, but it was not in this case true. On the second day after her talk with Horace she knew again within herself that the report was untrue. She was busy all day mending undergarments for Anthony. Cotton cloth drawn together with sewing thread, scrutinized minutely, told her a final thing about the form of yarn which was in reality floating undevised lint brought into a line by spinning, bound together in a knitted chain of net. The lint floated from the design in a continual wasting, perpetual dissolution, and her own mind strove to bind its own threads, to regather its lint and impose some well-knit conclusions into the chaos. On the third day she knew again that the story was untrue. Minnie Harter had, she divined, claimed Conway as it were out of the grave to give herself a posthumous romance, a right lover. With this story she would arise in dignity in the town. The infant had been still-born and after a little all but the richly tragic parts of the drama would be forgotten.

Passing in her room, Theodosia observed that she had removed Conway’s picture from her shelf although she scarcely remembered the act. It had been put into a box of photographs, taken up without passion and slipped inside the cover of the box at some casual moment between coming and going. She laughed once a swift, cruel laughter that bent downward the corners of her mouth at the spectacle of two women quarreling over a dead man, herself one. She discovered that she had no quarrel beyond that induced by friendly loyalty. A suspicion grew in the arising confusion of her thought that her own posthumous passion for Conway had been identified with her lost hope of the fiddle, with her tenderness and self-love that had been shielding her limitation from inner examination and despair. The story remained untrue, but Conway grew remote for her, increasing in remoteness as three days wore away. The shock of the argument opened new vistas down into the dark of her inner thought. She remembered him tenderly, as dead, as wronged in his grave. She thought of him less often.

FOUR

She ran out of the house at dusk, her fiddle in her hand, fiddle and bow clutched in her fingers. She went rapidly down the street, thinking that she would walk toward the pool, toward the fields, toward some point far beyond the town. She would hurl fiddle-playing into the tops of tall trees and hurl it again into the darkening sky. The ripples of the water would be black and the plowed fields would be black where the dusk had sunk into the autumn furrows.

Before the livery stable she saw Stiggins, who stood listlessly, his hands in his pockets, swaying unevenly from one foot to the other. The wind that would have blown the dark water of the pool was shifting the straws and trash of the stable about before Stig’s feet, making a shallow drift in the dirt and refuse.

“Come on with me, Stig,” she said. “Come and go with me where I go.”

He shuffled uncertainly, hearing her words slowly. “Come on now, Stiggins,” she said.

She turned about and went toward Hill Street, Stiggins following after her a few steps. It was the hour when the street-lights were not yet lit and the people who passed were gray undistinguished motions drifting unevenly through the fog of the first-dark. Now and then as she went she called to Stiggins and was assured that he was following by his shuffling uneven steps that quickened at each cry. She went to Lethe’s cabin and knocked at the door, and at Americy’s call she went inside, passing swiftly over the threshold. Stig remained on the doorstep staring, but after a moment he crouched in the doorway. Americy brought a chair to the middle of the floor and offered it without a greeting. Then she went to sit on the bed, her accustomed place, and Lethe turned slightly about from the table, where food had been eaten. A few crusts of bread lay on a plate, but the other dishes were empty. Lethe was sullen, sitting turned away from the door, and when Theodosia was seated she moved slightly and spoke with contempt, speaking softly.

“You come here and all the town will be a-talken. You want the town to be a-talken about you-all? What you want t’start up everybody a-talken about you for?”

“What’s to talk about now?”

Stig began to mumble half-articulate words, looking at the floor with a strange smile about his eyes. “A leetle scrop to eat, a leetle leavens. All I want is a leetle mess to eat. The pickens on a ham bone is good, the pickens on a ham bone. Have you-all got e’er ham bone around? All I want....”

Theodosia took her fiddle to her chin and began to play Americy’s tune, touching the bow lightly to the strings. The eyes in Stig’s face were bent down slightly at the corners, wearily drooped, but his lips smiled at the music. Theodosia remembered at that moment that Lethe had once had a child. “They buried Lethe’s baby today,” some voice was remembered saying. “Another death on Hill Street.” A child epidemic had been sweeping over the town. Remembering the infant she looked at Lethe with a searching gaze, the dead child and Lethe’s grief in her mind, wondering at the nature of this grief and searching Lethe’s face anew for some remnant of it.

“Skeeter Shoots, he’s got a thing like that-there to play on,” Stig said, speaking suddenly in a flare of words, half shouting. “Only he plays his’n on his mouth, plays it with his spit.” He began to hum aloud and to sing unmusical sounds, his hands crumpled at his lips. “Plays on it with his spit in his mouth,” he said. “Goes like this-here.”

“What you bring Stig here for?” Lethe said. “Did I tell you to bring Stig here?”

He began to tell of some confused happening which was related to the mouth harp in his mind. A rat had been killed in the corn room, a half-starved rat that had been shut into a tank for many days. He talked, catching at his breath, gleeful over the story, waving his hands. “We kill ol’ rat in corn room,” he said. “We brain ol’ rat one day in corn room.”

“What’s he want?” Lethe asked.

“He don’ want e’er thing,” Americy said, speaking gently. “Leave him be.”

“There was a rat, ol’ rat,” Stig began afresh. “Got shut in water-tank. Tin water-tank, not got no water in it. You ought to ’a’ seen ol’ rat! Skeeter Shoots he says to me, ‘Look at that-there rat, God knows, shut inside that-there tank. Been shut up three weeks since that-there rat got shut up since tank was open last. Skeeter Shoots says.”

Lethe turned back to the table, her elbows on the board, her knees crossed. Her body was bent slightly forward as if she were deeply fatigued.

“What’d you bring him here for?” she asked. “What’s he here for now?”

“What is it you know about him?” Theodosia asked sharply, turning suddenly on Lethe, unafraid in her sudden surprise.

“I know enough. I ain’t been borned so long ago for nothing.”

“A ham bone,” Stig began to whimper. “Ham-meat is right good now. Ham.”

“You can take him on away when you’ve done whatever you come for.”

“We all say, ‘Whoopee! come see ol’ rat.’ So weak in his legs he can’t walk on his feet. Crawl on his belly. Slow, go like a snail-bug. See ol’ rat go up stable. Ol’ rat. ‘Take ker, ol’ rat!’ We all watch ol’ rat go towarge corn room. Slow, slow, towarge corn room.” He made slow creeping gestures with his fingers on the floor.

“I know enough. Was I borned last week? For God’s sake!”

“You hate me, Lethe,” Theodosia said after a little, speaking through Stig’s garbled recitative that continued. “You hate me. What makes you hate me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Was I borned last week? Don’t you reckon I know your tricks? Is he anybody to me?”

Americy began to play one of her tunes, laboring with the chords and humming softly, half whispering, and Theodosia watched the fingers on the strings or she plucked her own strings to make harmonious chords with the tune. The music set Stig’s eyes in a dance and renewed his memory of the scene in the corn room. His voice was lifted to a higher pitch.

“We all says ‘Whoopee! Come see ol’ rat.’ Crawl on his belly. Go a leetle piece, stop, go a leetle piece. Three weeks in that-there tank and ne’er a bite inside him.”

“For God’s sake!” Lethe said. She turned wearily toward the table again. “Oh, for God’s sake!”

“Ol’ rat,” Stig said. “Rat go crawl, crawl down towarge corn room. We all walk behind ol’ rat and see ol’ rat go crawl down towarge corn room. Skeeter Shoots says ‘Come see ol’ rat.’ Says, ‘Naw, don’t kill yet. Watch ’im crawl down towarge corn room.’ Take ol’ rat, I reckon, hour. I go water Rose and hitch up Beckie. Come back. ‘Ain’t ol’ rat got there yet?’”

“To let Minnie Harter take your man away. For God’s sake! You’re easy. To let Min Harter get ahead on you. The lame slut.” Lethe spoke with great passion, turning half about and staring at Theodosia, eyeing her form up and down.

“What you know about that?” Theodosia asked. She turned back to Americy’s playing again. “What do you know about that?”

“Plays a tune right outen his spit,” Stig said.

“Oh, God’s pity on us all,” Americy said. She was rocking herself forward and back.

“What’s God got to do about this?” Theodosia asked. She turned on Americy, her words like an outcry. Americy stopped her rocking and sat stilled, afraid before the rush of the question.

“What’s God got to do? I do’ know,” Americy said. And then she whispered, “Oh, God ’a’ pity.”

“Where is any God?”

“A ham bone to gnaw on’s all I want. My spit wants a ham bone to lick,” Stig said.

“Oh, I d’know,” Americy said, speaking to both of them. “Oh, I got no ham bone.” Her face was bent low and her voice was low.

“Ol’ rat go crawl, crawl, so weak he can’t go.”

Theodosia looked at the small flame in the lamp behind the dull burnt chimney, her eyes on the little apple of light that throbbed unevenly there. She was thinking of the light as a small flower in bloom, and she traced its essence to Americy’s face and then to Stig’s forehead where it shone against his brow. The shadows beside Americy’s nostrils made hollows in the long, blank brown of her face, her two dark eyes bent over the guitar in a stupid anxiety to accomplish a chord she had known a few days before. There was a step outside on the roadway, and presently steps were moving away from the house. Somebody had been looking in at the window. Theodosia stirred a little in her chair and her own part in the room troubled her, in the house. “What am I here? What to them?” she was asking herself. She sat in the stiff chair, in the middle of the floor, facing Americy, feeling Lethe’s hate. “Her hate pushes me back, but it does not push me out at the door,” she was thinking. She began to play some melody on the fiddle, a melody which she broke and distorted, rubbing the bow softly over the gut, making a thin, distracted music, unjointed, without logic. Lethe turned away and sat toward the table, and Stig had begun to tell his story again. Lethe’s hate did not forbid her, but rather it pricked the air with some fertile pollen and prepared every moment a newer menace, and to each moment the fiddle responded with soft demonic music, ill-flavored, crooked, sinister. She brought her playing to crashing discords, softly played, a disturbance working upward through half-tones, and Lethe turned about, her head and shoulders facing the fiddle, and said:

“To let Min Harter take your man. God’s sake. Right afore your own eyes. Would I stand that-there, me? Min lame and you got two good legs yourself.”

“You hate me hard, don’t you, Lethe,” Theodosia said, speaking sharply. She tried to turn back to Americy’s song.

“Or let Flo Agnew. Some said it was Flo Agnew got your goat. God’s sake! You a tame one.” Lethe’s words were bitter to her own taste now, turned back upon herself, as if she were defending herself.

“Where’s Ross now?” Americy asked, speaking softly, afraid of Lethe’s passion. Her tone was slightly knowing, as if she gave a taunt in defense of Theodosia. Softly spoken, “Where’s Ross by now?”

“He works now of a night at the brick-yard, works all night at the brick-kiln.”

“It was said Ross was sweet on Lou at the lodge supper a Sat’day, sweet as pie on Lou, was said.” Americy spoke to herself, in a dream, and she began to rock to and fro again. “That’s what was said a Sunday at the church.”

“If he spends one quarter on her,” Lethe said, laying down her hard oath with slow, careful words, “If he spends one quarter on her or walks in the dark once beside her, I’ll ... I’ll cut her body open with a hog knife. One time, and I’ll do it, so help me God.”

Stig was telling his story, making small tracks with his fingers on the bare floor, his mouth dripping in his eagerness to relate the happenings. Theodosia looked at Lethe continually now and she saw her hate arise to an intense power and she knew, seeing her, the force of hate where it mounted, direct, willing, uncurbed by self-searching. Looking intently at Lethe she merged for the instant with her and felt the sting of hate where it spread over her own face and her breast.

“That’s what was said,” Americy whispered, staring at the floor. “Sweet on Ross, Lou was, and him sweet back on her, was said.”

“One time, and I’ll cut her open with a hog knife. She knows I will. She better know.” A cry.

“Crawl, crawl, crawl down stable. Climb step. Can’t climb last step. Too steep. Skeeter Shoots, he says, ‘I help ol’ rat up last step.’ Sets ol’ rat down on top. ‘See?’ Skeet says. ‘Here’s corn room.’ We kill ol’ rat inside corn room.”

“Americy, have you got a soul, a spirit?” Theodosia asked. “Did you inherit one? Did you?”

“I saw the glory o’ the Lord one time,” Americy said, half singing. “I saw the Lamb o’ God. Oh, my Jesus!”

Theodosia arose quickly from her chair and stood by the door, her hand having flung open the door. “Stig, have you got a soul? Inside you somewhere? Inside?” She knew that she was persisting cruelly. She leaned over him where he sat by the frame of the door.

“I got a hungry belly insides me. I got a tape-snake wants a ham bone to gnaw,” Stig said. “I mean what I say.”

She was leaning over him, looking at him intently, seeing his large heavy face from above and watching its changing shadows, looking at his dirty brown coat and his frayed breeches that bulged into the light where his knees were raised. He seemed to be chewing at something, his lips working in and out. Her eyes centered to his hands that drifted about over his thighs and cupped together beyond his knees.

“Hold out your hands, Stig,” she said, “hold out your hand. Your hand.”

His hand, broad in the palm, flexible, sensitive to the boards of the floor, was stretched, palm downward, beyond his foot, or it crept over the floor; it turned upward and moved back and forth before her. The long reach of the thumb and the span of the thumb and the fingers assailed her, and the hand fiddled a moment on the air. Then it crumpled together, bones and muscles flexed, and withdrew to the shadow under his knee. “The fiddle hand,” she said, standing straight beside the door now. “You got the fiddle hand, Stig,” she whispered. “You got it.”

“I got a hungry belly insides me, that’s what I got. I already told you-all now. I got a hungry gut.”