My Actor-Husband: A true story of American stage life

CHAPTER XII

Chapter 123,509 wordsPublic domain

Toward the end of the engagement in Chicago it became expedient that I undergo a minor operation. Will suggested I enter a private hospital near at hand, that he might be in daily communication with me. I preferred, however, to return to New York, and place myself under the care of our family physician. Our apartment being still occupied, I decided on one of the smaller hotels, which abound on the cross streets between Twenty-fourth and Forty-fifth. Will's company was booked for a week in Cleveland following the Chicago engagement.

I received daily letters from Will telling me how lonely he was without Boy and me, and every other day he wired me some nice little greeting. The operation was simple and, as Experience was permitted to bring Boy to visit me during given hours of the afternoon, the time passed quickly.

By the end of the week I was able to leave the hospital and I had apprised Will of my intention. Consequently I was not surprised to find a telegram awaiting me at the hotel. Experience said it had probably been delivered while she was on the way to fetch me. I waited until I had made myself comfy in a big arm chair which Experience had ready for me, and while she made a cup of tea over our alcohol lamp I settled back to enjoy Will's message. It was a long one, I saw at a glance. Experience turned enquiringly at my ejaculation. The telegram had been sent from Cincinnati, where Will was now playing, following Cleveland. It read: "Come at once if you are able to travel. Not ill, but need your presence. Have wired money to bank. Best train Big Four Limited leaving at six-thirty p.m. New York Central. Telegraph on departure. Love, Will."

I read and reread the message. My perturbation grew. What did Will mean by "need your presence"? He forestalled any alarm about his health by saying he was not ill, but had he told the truth? Perhaps he had met with an accident, a terrible disfiguring--surely I was letting my nerves run away with me.... But why did he urge me to come to Cincinnati when we had planned to meet the following week in St. Louis, his home city, and where there was to be a kind of reunion of the family relatives? It was obvious that he expected me, as he had taken the care to look up trains and had telegraphed the money.

There was something very much the matter.... I glanced at the clock. It lacked a few minutes of five, and the train left at half after six.... The bank was closed, but I could get a check cashed. Whatever had happened it was my duty to be with Will. I jumped to my feet, forgetful of my convalescence. The weakness had vanished. I felt strangely well. "Experience ... never mind the tea.... We leave for Cincinnati at once...."

Experience set down the kettle and looked at me with her hand on her hips.... I made no explanation, but began to don the clothes I had only a moment since removed. The necessity for immediate action finally seeped into Experience's brain. "Then I guess I'll have to fly at packin' up.... Law-zee, if this ain't seein' the country!..."

Will met us at the station. The first glimpse of him through the iron grill relieved my suspense concerning his health. He was not ill, and appeared to be whole and undamaged. He was solicitous about my condition. I _did_ look a bit of a wreck. After the excitement of getting off had subsided and there was nothing to do but listen to the monotonous clickety-click of the speeding train, I had collapsed. The reaction was too great. It was not until we were in sight of our destination that I dragged myself to my feet and steeled myself to meet whatever emergency confronted me.... Naturally I asked no questions during the drive to the hotel. The general aspect of Cincinnati was typical of my state of mind: an unsunned sky and a smoke-filmed atmosphere.... It occurred to me how fallacious was Milton's conception of "evil news." ... "For evil news rides post while good news baits." It has always appeared to me the other way about. Good news flashes on to its destination gathering impetus as it goes, while harbinger of bad lags on behind, retarding the very hours by its sable weight.... The mental rack of suspense, of waiting, while the imagination conjures an endless chain of dire probabilities.... When, at last, Experience and Boy were settled in an adjoining room Will closed the door and turned to me. It seemed an interminable time before he spoke. He seemed to be bracing himself for the effort.

"First I want to thank you for coming without question.... I only hope you will not suffer a relapse...."

I waved aside the preamble....

"Well," I said....

* * * * *

I think I was stunned. Nothing seemed quite real about the room. Even Will's voice sounded remote. I had experienced the same sensation coming out of the ether after my operation. The doctor's assuring "It's all right, little lady; just open your eyes" reached me from across spanless space. Then, as now, followed a great wave of nausea, whirling me into a relentless undertow, leaving me limp and racked with pain.... Mechanically I re-read the clipping Will had thrust into my hand by way of preparing me for what followed. It was an excerpt from "The Club Window" and ran as follows: "A certain clique of rough-riders allied with a North Side country club are laying odds on a high-stepping filly of their set who for some time past has been riding for a fall. The inevitable cropper will involve a certain actor who for the past month has been delighting Chicago audiences with his manly pulchritude as well as his histrionic ability. The lady in the case showed marked preference for the society of the actor during one of his former visits to the Windy City. From time to time there has reached the ears of the seat-warmers in the Club Window gossip of certain little junkets to New York during the past winter. It may have been purely coincidental that the actor was playing a season's engagement in the metropolis but--be that as it may--the advent of the company to our parts was watched with considerable gusto. Likewise it may have been purely chance that the husband of the third part was away on a hunting trip. 'The best laid plans of' and so forth; the unexpected happened when the actor's wife accompanied him on his visit to us. The affair was for the moment in abeyance. _But_--no sooner had the wife returned to New York than the fire broke out with renewed ardour probably fanned by the previous adverse winds of cruel fate. When the company left for another city the fair Chicagoan was missing from her accustomed haunts. Subsequent investigation affirmed the rumour that the lady was a guest at a leading hotel in Cleveland. Incidentally her suite of rooms was on the same floor as that of the actor. Let us hope that some busy bee does not buzz about the head of the mighty hunter and bring him back gunning for the destroyer of his peace. Verily, verily, the actor hath power to charm."

"You must realize, girlie, that I wouldn't have worried you with this nasty business if I hadn't been afraid of letting us both in for something worse.... What do you think of the damned cat who cooked up a thing like that? It was pure spite work. You see it was like this: When I met this female reporter two years ago she was all for me. You remember the nice things she wrote about me when I played Chicago the last time? Well, she came on to New York last winter and I took her to lunch and showed her other little attentions just to keep on the good side of her. About the same time the other dame blew in, and I felt it was up to me to discharge some of my social debts to her. Here's where the elderly spinster reporter got sore. She thought she had a corner on the market. It's hell to be such a fascinatin' devil!..."

Will winked at me, albeit a little dubiously, sensing a probable lack of appreciation on my part.

"When I came back to Chicago this trip," he continued, "I received a note from my quondam friend and later she came back to my dressing-room to see me. She made some pertinent remarks about the other woman, hinted at some persons being ingrates after all she had done to boom them when they were 'also rans' and, now that they had got there, threw down their old friends. I lost my temper a bit and we parted bad friends. The result was she transferred her booming to ----" (Will named the character actor of his company) "and proceeded to lay it over me on every possible occasion.... These damned women are always worse when they get along in life...."

"What did this 'club' woman expect of you?... What did she want?"

Will looked at me blankly, then batted his eyes....

"Why ... why, I suppose the old hen wanted me to make love to her: she made a play for me and I threw her down hard."

He took the clipping from my fingers and replaced it in his wallet.

"Did you know that the--_the_ lady was coming to Cleveland?" I asked.

"Why--not exactly; she said something about it while we were still in Chicago but I thought she was bluffing. As a matter of fact I thought she had more sense than to do a thing like that."

"What led you to believe she had better sense?--anything in her past performances?"

"No--but women are pretty foxy: they generally take care to cover their trails no matter how reckless they pretend to be. Not many of them want to lose their homes in spite of their protestations about giving up everything for 'thou'...."

"Why did you not insist on her returning home at once? Couldn't you have gone to another hotel?"

"What good would that have done? She would have followed. When she turned up in Cleveland I handed it to her straight, you may imagine. I didn't mince matters a little bit."

"Was she afraid to go back home?"

"I don't know; she said she'd left for good and that she'd never live with her husband again. I told her she could do as she pleased about _that_, but I didn't propose to become involved. Then she threatened to commit suicide--throw herself in the lake. I told her to go ahead and then she had hysterics all over the place. I had a fine tea-party, I can tell you.... Somebody sent me a marked copy of the Club Window. I knew, then, it wouldn't be long before her husband would get wise to it and I didn't know what kind of a game he'd spring on me. I guess it's not the first time the lady has kicked over the matrimonial traces, according to reports. Maybe he's looking for just such an opening."

The room was thick with tobacco-smoke. Will was burning up one cigar after another.

"She made a fine spectacle of herself and of me by showing up at the railway station looking like a boiled owl. After our scene she capped the climax by getting a peach of a jag.... By George, I never will hear the last of it from the members of the company." He pulled down a window from the top and stopped at the desk, where he took a telegram from his portfolio--a Christmas present I had made him.

"Yesterday morning I received this." I read the message:

"Call me long distance Friday noon sharp. Important.

(Signed) DOC."

"It was decent of the Doc, wasn't it? Well, I got him on long distance and the first thing he asked me was whether the lady were with me. 'Well, not exactly _with_ me, but I can't shake her,' I shouted back. 'You've got to,' the Doc went on, 'for your wife's sake you mustn't get landed with the goods.' The Doc is one of these 'from-Missouri' gentlemen and wouldn't believe I was innocent under oath. Just the same he's a good fellow. He told me he knew all about my predicament and that he'd taken time by the forelock and got hold of madame's sister, who was standing beside him while he talked. She had her grip with her, ready to start for Cincinnati at once. I told him to send her by the fastest express. The Doc said that madame's husband had returned to town unexpectedly--just as I had anticipated--and after a stay of twenty-four hours had again disappeared. No one at his office or at his home knew where he had gone. The sister said he had called her up and inquired where his wife had gone and had rung off abruptly. Then the Doc quizzed the stenographer, who was an old chum of his, and she confided to him that the husband's secretary had bought a ticket to Cleveland.... 'He's on the trail,' the Doc warned, 'and there's only one thing for you to do ... send for your wife if she's able to travel.... Make her get to Cincinnati before he does. Your wife is a level-headed little woman and if you put it to her straight she'll play up.... Together you can cook up something to placate the irate husband....' Can't you just hear the old Doc roar? Well, I thought his advice good and I wired you at once."

... "Has the sister arrived?" ... I found it difficult to make myself heard. My voice was dry and grated harshly....

"Yes, she's here; they're on the floor below." Will poured a glass of water and handed it me. Then he sat on the edge of the bed and waited. It was his turn to be silent. He seemed to have talked himself out....

"Which of them is it?... Do I know her?"

"Yes; we had dinner at her house one Sunday night."

"Blonde?"

"Um--yes...."

"Art's triumph over Nature, I suppose." ... I could not resist the thrust ... suddenly I sat bolt upright.

"Will ... _Will_.... Not--Mrs F.--not the woman with the two little girls ... not the mother of those children...."

He nodded and raised his shoulders with a gesture which was half deploring, half deprecating.

"O!!!...." I covered my face with my hands ... the picture was _too_ revolting.... "Children don't cut much ice," the doctor had said. I stopped up my ears to shut out his voice....

"How did it begin?" I said at last.

"O ... the usual way ... supper--or dinner, I've forgotten which--a little flirtation, lots of booze, motor-rides, rendez-vous while you listen to the neglected wife song and dance, more dinners and suppers and motor-rides ... and the first thing you know the fool woman is in love with you, or thinks she is, which is worse.... I hope you don't blame _me_. I can't help it if women make fools of themselves over me." ... Something in Will's tone--a _sang froid_--almost a _braggadocio_--sent the blood to my face with a rush of anger. I leaned forward in my chair and looked him in the eyes.

"Will ... do you mean to tell me that you never encouraged this woman?"

"How do you mean--encouraged?"

"In God's name don't juggle with your words--don't equivocate! You know what I mean as well as I do!--to encourage in a hundred intangible ways; to show that you are flattered by a woman's attention; to let her believe that _you_ believe you are the only one upon whom she has bestowed her favours; to let her tell you that you are the first man for whom she has betrayed her husband, though she has been neglected and unhappy for years and years; to cram down your throat the intimate confidences of her married life and to tell you she has never sought consolation elsewhere; to let her do all these without giving her the lie when you know in your heart she was lying. That's what I mean!... O, believe me I am beginning to understand the intricacies of the game ... and if you have gone the limit ... I don't ask you to confess it ... fidelity does not hinge upon the sexual act, alone--though you men place that above every other virtue in a woman--but I do ask you for the sake of your manhood, for your own self-respect, don't, _don't_ play the part of a cad!"

Will winced as if I had struck him in the face. His face had grown quite pale and his lips were compressed. When he spoke his voice cut the air like a fine blade of steel.

"So that's what you think, is it?... I've obviously made a mistake in sending for you ... but I did so more for your sake than for my own ... to prepare you and save you from a shock if there was a blow-out.... I never knew before what a poor opinion you had of me."

"Don't distort my words, Will, if you please...."

He paced back and forth, beating the back of one hand against the palm of the other.

"I know you're sick and weak.... I'm trying to make every allowance for your state of nerves. Up to date you've played up like a brick. I've often watched you and secretly admired the way you handled things, but--if you're going to spoil it all by developing into a jealous woman at this stage of the game...." I turned on him quickly.

"I'm sure you can't say that I've ever annoyed you in that line."

"No, I'll admit, you've been a level-headed woman ... but remember I've played square with you and I think you'll admit _that_. I've never had a serious affair with any woman--and the Lord knows I have it thrown at me from all sides. The woods are full of Potiphar's wives.... If you had some men to deal with ... how many of 'em can stand up against that sort of thing without losing their heads?... why, I've had people tell me we were a model couple ... and, here, the first time I get into anything like a serious predicament----"

"Then you admit other predicaments?"

"Why, of course, there's been ... O, hell--what's the use of trying to argue with a woman! You're like all the rest!--when it comes to a show-down they're not deuces high!" ... He crossed to the telephone and called a waiter.

"I've got to order an early dinner; I'll have a fine dose of indigestion as it is--after all this infernal row.... Of course, if it came to a show-down and he named me as co-respondent it wouldn't do _me_ any damage but it would upset the pater and the rest of the family all along the line. You know how they feel about the stage...."

"What about me?" was on the tip of my tongue but I did not voice it or the thoughts which followed. How should I feel to see a home broken up and to know that my husband shared in the wrecking?--whether directly or indirectly--the results were the same. And the woman--and the two little girls ... what of them?... A knock at the door caused my very heart to contract. Had the husband arrived to demand Heaven only knew what?... The waiter entered with a menu. I had completely forgotten that Will had summoned him. When the waiter had taken the order and gone, Will crossed and laid his hand on my arm.

"Come now, girlie--we musn't let this fool thing come between you and me. It isn't worth it! You know I love you ... you're the only woman I've ever loved ... ever _will_ love...."

O, wise husband! He knew I could no more resist his tenderness than a flower resists the warm sun.... He let me revel in my first fierce burst of tears and comforted me mutely; then, still holding me in his arms, he went on talking:

"Sometimes I hate this damned business and feel that I'd like to chuck it altogether ... but what's a man to do after he's given the best years of his life to one thing? It takes a long time to get established in any profession, nowadays ... and I'm getting older every day.... I'm sorry I was ugly ... _my_ nerves are a bit frazzled, too ... but I'll be all right, now that you and I understand each other ... come, now ... let's forget it.... Come in the bath-room and bathe your eyes. I've ordered a nice little dinner and a bottle of fizz; it'll buck you up. Then, before I go to the performance, we'll outline some plan of action...."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, as I came out of the bath-room a little later.