Chapter 2

SCENE.--_The same scene and furniture with addition of a camp table and five camp chairs outside on terrace at back centre. Lunch is over._ LADY MARDEN'S _whip and gloves are on writing-table_.

(ANNE _enters with coffee for five on salver, from double doors_ R., _and is about to place it on table_ L.C. _when_ OLIVIA, _who follows her on, says_:)

OLIVIA. We'll have coffee on the terrace, Anne.

ANNE. Very good, madam. (_Moves up_ L. _and places salver on camp table on terrace_.)

(LADY MARDEN _follows_ OLIVIA _from double doors_ R. ANNE _crosses at back of windows to_ R.)

OLIVIA. We'll have coffee on the terrace, Aunt Julia.

(LADY MARDEN _crosses in front of_ OLIVIA _and up_ L. _through windows and sits_ R. _at back of camp table_. GEORGE _follows_ LADY MARDEN, _meets_ OLIVIA, _and both throw up their arms despairingly._ OLIVIA _crosses up_ L. _through windows and sits to_ L. _of camp table._ DINAH _and_ BRIAN _follow_ GEORGE _on_.)

(ANNE _exits at doors_ R.)

(GEORGE _turns, and seeing_ DINAH _is annoyed, follows_ OLIVIA _up_ L. _and sits_ L. _of_ LADY MARDEN.)

DINAH (_to_ BRIAN). I know Aunt Julia likes a little music.

(DINAH _comes down to piano and takes up small guitar._ BRIAN _crosses to_ L., _laughing at her. She goes up_ L. _of writing-table, playing and singing, and crosses round back of writing-table and sits to_ R. _of camp table,_ BRIAN _follows her and stands with his back to windows._ GEORGE _and_ LADY MARDEN _are annoyed with_ DINAH'S _playing, and tell her to stop, and she does so._ OLIVIA _pours milk into_ DINAH'S _cup and_ BRIAN _passes it to her; she drinks and then commences to play again and is stopped by looks from_ LADY MARDEN _and_ GEORGE.)

LADY MARDEN (_to_ DINAH). No! No! Don't do it!

OLIVIA. Your aunt does not like it, dear.

(GEORGE _and_ OLIVIA _want to be alone, so do_ BRIAN _and_ DINAH. _At last_ BRIAN _murmurs something about a cigarette-case, and catching_ DINAH'S _eye, comes into the room. He leans against the sofa down_ L. _and waits for her_.)

DINAH (_loudly, as she comes in strumming on guitar_). Have you found it?

BRIAN. Found what?

DINAH (_in her ordinary voice, crossing quickly down to_ BRIAN). That was just for _their_ benefit. I said I'd help you find it. It _is_ your cigarette-case we're looking for, isn't it?

BRIAN (_taking it out_). Yes. Have one?

DINAH. No, thank you, darling. (BRIAN _goes up_ R. _in smoking-table for a match_.) Aunt Juli-ah still thinks it's unladylike.... Have you ever seen her beagling? (_Comes down to piano, puts down instrument_.)

BRIAN. No. Is that very ladylike?

DINAH (_sitting on settee_ R.). Very.... I say, what has happened, do you think?

BRIAN (_moving down to back of table_ R.C.). Everything. I love you, and you love me.

DINAH. Silly! I meant between George and Olivia. Didn't you notice them at lunch?

BRIAN (_sits on table_). I noticed that you seemed to be doing most of the talking. But then I've noticed that before sometimes. Do you think Olivia and your uncle have quarrelled because of _us_?

DINAH. Of course not. George may _think_ he has quarrelled, but I'm quite sure Olivia hasn't. No (DINAH _beckons to_ BRIAN, _who comes and sits above her_), I believe Mr. Pim's at the bottom of it. He's brought some terribly sad news about George's investments. (_Rising and facing_ BRIAN.) The old home will have to be sold up.

BRIAN. Good. Then your uncle won't mind your marrying me.

DINAH (_by table above settee_ R.). Yes, darling, but you must be more dramatic about it than that. "George," you must say, with tears in your eyes, "I cannot pay off the whole of the mortgage for you. I have only two and ninepence; but at least let me take your niece off your hands." Then George will (_hitting him on the shoulder)_ thump you on the back and say gruffly (_crossing to_ L.), "You're a good fellow, Brian, a damn good fellow," and he'll blow his nose very loudly, and say, "Confound this cigar, it won't draw properly."

BRIAN (_rising and crossing to_ DINAH). Dinah, you're a heavenly idiot. And you've simply got to marry me, uncles or no uncles.

DINAH. Hush! (_She takes his hand and they sit on settee_ L., _hiding from others at back_). It will have to be "uncles," I'm afraid, because, you see, I'm his ward, and I can get sent to Chancery or Coventry or somewhere beastly, if I marry without his consent, Haven't _you_ got anybody who objects to your marrying _me_?

BRIAN. Nobody, thank Heaven.

DINAH. Well, that's rather disappointing of you. I saw myself fascinating your aged father at the same time that you were fascinating George. I should have done it much better than you. As a George-fascinator you aren't very successful, sweetheart.

BRIAN (_kissing her hand_). What am I like as a Dinah-fascinator?

DINAH. Plus six, darling.

BRIAN. Then I'll stick to that and leave George to Olivia.

DINAH. I expect she'll manage him all right. I have great faith in Olivia. But you'll marry me, anyhow, won't you, Brian?

BRIAN. I will.

DINAH. Even if we have to wait till I'm twenty-one?

BRIAN. Even if we have to wait till you're fifty-one.

DINAH (_holding out her hands to him_). Darling!

BRIAN (_uneasily_). I say, don't do that.

DINAH. Why not?

BRIAN. Well, I promised I wouldn't kiss you.

DINAH. Oh! (_Rising and crossing to_ C., _watching the others at back_). Well, you might just send me a kiss. You can look the other way as if you didn't know I was here.

BRIAN. Like this?

(_He looks the other way, kisses the tips of his fingers, and flicks it carelessly in her direction. She pretends to catch it, kissing her own hands_.)

DINAH. That was a lovely one. Now here's one coming for you.

(_She throws him a kiss. He catches it gracefully and conveys it to his mouth_.)

BRIAN (_rising, and with a low bow_). Madam, I thank you.

DINAH (_curtsying_). Your servant, Mr. Strange,

OLIVIA (_rising from outside_). Dinah!

DINAH (_jumping up_). Hullo! (_Moving quickly to piano, plays "Mickey."_)

(BRIAN _throws away his cigarette and walks to_ L.)

(OLIVIA _comes in through the window up_ L., _followed by_ GEORGE _and_ LADY MARDEN, _the latter a vigorous young woman of sixty odd, who always looks as if she were beagling_.)

OLIVIA (_coming down to_ DINAH _above piano_). Aunt Julia wants to see the pigs, dear. I wish you'd take her down. I'm rather tired, and your uncle has some business to attend to.

(GEORGE _sits in chair up_ C. _in front of writing-table_.)

LADY MARDEN (_moving down_ C.), I've always said that you don't take enough exercise, Olivia. (_Turning to others_.) Look at me--sixty-five and proud of it. (_Goes up_ R. _and takes up gloves and riding-whip from writing-table_.)

OLIVIA (_taking off her coatee_). Yes, Aunt Julia, you're wonderful.

DINAH. How old would Olivia be if she took exercise?

(OLIVIA, _smiling, but with an admonishing look at_ DINAH, _comes up_ R. _and places her coatee on balustrade_.)

GEORGE (_from up_ C.). Don't fool about asking silly questions, Dinah. Your aunt hasn't much time.

BRIAN. May I come, too, Lady Marden?

LADY MARDEN (_coming down centre to_ BRIAN). Well, a little exercise wouldn't do _you_ any harm, Mr. Strange. You're an artist, ain't you?

(DINAH _stops playing_.)

BRIAN. Well, I try to paint.

DINAH (_rises and moves to_ R.C.). He sold a picture last March for----

GEORGE. Yes, yes, never mind that now.

LADY MARDEN. Yes, unhealthy life. (_Going to_ R. _of writing-table and crossing at back, turns to_ DINAH _and_ BRIAN.) Well, come along.

(_She strides out up_ L., _followed by_ DINAH _and_ BRIAN, _who upset_ GEORGE'S _papers on writing-table as they go_. OLIVIA _takes the curtains and workbox from_ C. _cupboard of cabinet and comes down_ L.)

GEORGE (_looking up and seeing_ OLIVIA). Really, Olivia, we've got something more important, more vital to us than curtains, to discuss, now that we _are_ alone at last.

OLIVIA. I wasn't going to discuss them, dear. (_Sits_.)

GEORGE. Of course, I'm always glad to see Aunt Julia in my house, but I wish she hadn't chosen this day of all days to come to lunch.

OLIVIA. It wasn't Aunt Julia's fault. It was really Mr. Pim who chose the wrong day.

GEORGE (_fiercely and rising_). Good heavens, is it true?

OLIVIA. About Jacob Telworthy?

GEORGE. Yon told me he was dead. (_Moving down to_ L. _of_ L.C. _table_.) You always said that he was dead.

OLIVIA. Well, I always thought that he was dead. He was as dead as anybody could be. All the papers said he was dead.

GEORGE (_scornfully_). The papers!(_Crossing up to smoking-table for his pipe_.)

OLIVIA (_as if this would settle it for_ GEORGE). The _Times_ said he was dead. There was a paragraph about him. Apparently even his death was fraudulent.

GEORGE (_coming down_ C.). Yes, yes, I'm not blaming you, Olivia, but what are we going to do, that's the question, what are we going to do? My God, it's horrible! (_Crossing to fireplace_.) You've never been married to me at all! You don't seem to understand.

OLIVIA. It is a little difficult to realize. You see, it doesn't seem to have made any difference to our happiness.

GEORGE. No, that's what's so terrible. (OLIVIA _looks up surprised_.) I mean--well, of course, we were quite innocent in the matter. (_Sits in arm-chair down_ L.) But, at the same time, nothing can get over the fact that we--we had no right to--to be happy.

OLIVIA. Would you rather we had been miserable?

GEORGE. You're Telworthy's wife, that's what you don't seem to understand. You're Telworthy's wife. You--er--forgive me, Olivia, but it's the horrible truth--you committed bigamy when you married me. (_In horror, going up_ L.) Bigamy! (_Coming round to_ C.)

OLIVIA. It is an ugly word, isn't it?

GEORGE. Yes, but you don't understand. (_Coming quickly down_ C., _sits on stool_ L.C., _facing her_.) Look here, Olivia, old girl, the whole thing is nonsense, eh? It isn't your husband, it's some other Telworthy that this fellow met. That's right, isn't it? Some other shady swindler who turned up on the boat, eh? This sort of thing doesn't happen to people like _us_--committing bigamy and all that. Some other fellow.

OLIVIA (_shaking her head_). I knew all the shady swindlers in Sydney.... They came to dinner.... There were no others called Telworthy.

GEORGE (_rising with gesture of despair_). Well, what are we going to do?

OLIVIA. You sent Mr. Pim away so quickly. He might have told us things. Telworthy's plans. Where he is now. You hurried him away so quickly.

GEORGE. I've sent a note round to ask him to come back. My one idea at the moment was to get him out of the house--to hush things up. (_Going up to writing-table_.)

OLIVIA. You can't hush up two husbands.

GEORGE (_in despair_). You can't. (_Sits at writing-table_.) Everybody will know. Everybody!

OLIVIA. The children, Aunt Julia, they may as well know now as later. Mr. Pim must, of course.

GEORGE. I do not propose to discuss my private affairs with Mr. Pim----

OLIVIA. But he's mixed himself up in them rather, hasn't he, and if you're going to ask him questions----

GEORGE. I only propose to ask him one question. I shall ask him if he is absolutely certain of this fellow's name. I can do that quite easily without letting him know the reason for my inquiry.

OLIVIA. You couldn't make a mistake about a name like Telworthy. But he might tell us something about Telworthy's plans. Perhaps he's going back to Australia at once. Perhaps he thinks I'm dead, too. Perhaps--oh, there are so many things I want to know.

GEORGE. Yes, yes, dear. It would be interesting to--that is, one naturally wants to know these things, but of course it doesn't make any real difference.

OLIVIA (_surprised_). No difference?

GEORGE (_rising and coming down to back of settee_ L.). Well, that is to say, you're as much his wife if he's in Australia as you are if he's in England.

OLIVIA. I am not his wife at all. (_Shaking her head_.) Jacob Telworthy may be alive, but I am not his wife. I ceased to be his wife when I became yours.

GEORGE. You never _were_ my wife. (_Annoyed and crossing to_ R. _and back again to_ L.C.) That is the terrible part of it. Our union--you make me say it, Olivia--has been unhallowed by the Church. Unhallowed even by the Law. Legally, we have been living in--living in--well, the point is, how does the Law stand? I imagine that Telworthy could get a--a divorce.... Oh, it seems impossible that things like this can be happening to _us_. (_Going up_ C.)

OLIVIA. A divorce?

GEORGE. I--I imagine so.

OLIVIA. But then we could _really_ get married, and we shouldn't be living in--living in--whatever we were living in before.

GEORGE (_coming down to_ R. _of table_ L.C.). I can't understand you, Olivia. You talk about it so calmly, as if there was nothing blameworthy in being divorced.

OLIVIA. Yes, but----

GEORGE. As if there was nothing unusual in my marrying a divorced woman.

OLIVIA. Yes, but----

GEORGE. As if there was nothing wrong in our having lived together for years without having been married.

OLIVIA (_placing her hands on table_). What seems wrong to me is that I lived for five years with a bad man whom I hated. What seems right to me is that I lived for five years with a good man whom I love.

GEORGE (_taking and patting her hands affectionately_). Yes, yes, my dear, I know. (_Drops her hands and moves to_ C.) But right and wrong don't settle themselves as easily as that. We've been living together when you were Telworthy's wife. That's _wrong_.

OLIVIA. Do you mean wicked?

GEORGE. Well, no doubt the Court would consider that we acted in perfect innocence----

OLIVIA. What Court?

GEORGE. Well, you see, my dear, these things have to be done legally, of course. (_Moving to_ R. _to settee, thinking it out_.) I believe the proper method is a nullity suit, declaring our marriage null and--er-- void. It would, so to speak, wipe out these years of--er---(_Moving back to_ C.)

OLIVIA. Wickedness?

GEORGE. Of irregular union, and-er--then----

OLIVIA. Then I could go back to Jacob.... Do you really mean that, George?

GEORGE (_uneasily_). Well, dear, you see-that's how things are--one can't get away from--er------

OLIVIA. What you feel is that Telworthy has the greater claim? You are prepared to--make way for him?

GEORGE. Both the Church and the Law would say that I had no claim at all, I'm afraid. I--I suppose I haven't.

OLIVIA. I see. (_She looks at him curiously_.) Thank you for making it so clear, George.

GEORGE. Of course, whether or not you go back to--er--Telworthy is another matter altogether. (_Crossing to fireplace_.) That would naturally be for you to decide.

OLIVIA (_cheerfully_). For me and Jacko to decide.

GEORGE. Er--Jacko?

OLIVIA. I used to call my first husband--I mean my only husband--Jacko. I didn't like the name of Jacob, and Jacko seemed to suit him somehow. (_Enjoying the joke_.) He had very long arms. (GEORGE _is very annoyed_.) Poor Jacko.

GEORGE (_annoyed_). You don't seem to realize that this is not a joke, Olivia.

OLIVIA (_still amused_). It may not be a joke, but it is funny, isn't it?

GEORGE. I must say I don't see anything funny in a tragedy that has wrecked two lives.

OLIVIA. Two? Oh, but Jacko's life isn't wrecked. It has just been miraculously restored to him. And a wife, too. There's nothing tragic for Jacko in it.

GEORGE (_stiffly_). I was referring to _our_ two lives--yours and mine.

OLIVIA. Yours, George? Your life isn't wrecked. The Court will absolve you of all blame; your friends will sympathize with you, and tell you that I was a designing woman who deliberately took you in; your Aunt Julia--

GEORGE (_overwrought_). Stop it! (_Crossing over to her_.) What do you mean? Have you no heart? (OLIVIA _gives a little hurt cry_.) Do you think I _want_ to lose you, Olivia? (_Sits on her_ L.) Do you think I _want_ my home broken up like this? Haven't you been happy with me these last five years?

OLIVIA. Very happy.

GEORGE. Well then, how can you talk like that?

OLIVIA. But you want to send me away,

GEORGE. There you go again. I don't _want_ to. I have hardly had time to realize just what it will mean to me when you go. The fact is I simply daren't realize it. I daren't think about it.

OLIVIA. Try thinking about it, George.

GEORGE. And you talk as if I _wanted_ to send you away!

OLIVIA. Try thinking about it, George.

GEORGE. You don't seem to understand that I'm not _sending_ you away. You simply aren't mine to keep.

OLIVIA. Whose am I?

GEORGE (_dubiously_). Your husband's. Telworthy's.

OLIVIA (_gently_). If I belong to anybody but myself, I think I belong to you.

GEORGE. Not in the eyes of the Law. Not in the eyes of the Church. Not even in the eyes of--er----

OLIVIA. The County?

GEORGE (_annoyed_). I was about to say "Heaven."

OLIVIA. Oh!

GEORGE (_rising and crossing below_ OLIVIA _to_ C.). That this should happen to _us_! (OLIVIA _works in silence. Then she shakes out her curtains_.)

OLIVIA (_looking at them_). I do hope Jacko will like these.

GEORGE (_turning and seeing curtains_). What! You----(_Going up to her quickly and taking her by the hands raises her from the settee_.) Olivia, Olivia, have you no heart?

OLIVIA. Ought you to talk like that to another man's wife?

GEORGE. Confound it, is this just a joke to you?

OLIVIA. You must forgive me, George; I am a little over-excited--at the thought of returning to Jacob.

GEORGE. Do you _want_ to return to him?

OLIVIA. One wants to do what is right. In the eyes of--er--Heaven.

GEORGE. Seeing what sort of a man he is, I have no doubt that you could get a separation, supposing that he didn't--er--divorce you. I don't know _what_ is best. I must consult my solicitor. The whole position has been sprung on us, and (_miserably sits on stool_ L.C.) I don't know, I don't know. I can't take it all in. (_Leaning forward and burying his face in his hands_.)

OLIVIA. Wouldn't you like to consult your Aunt Julia too? She could tell you what the County--I mean what Heaven really thought about it.

GEORGE. Yes, yes. Aunt Julia has plenty of common sense. You're quite right, Olivia. This isn't a thing we can keep from the family.

OLIVIA. Do I still call her _Aunt_ Julia?

(ANNE _comes in from staircase up_ R. GEORGE _does not see her, but_ OLIVIA _attracts his attention_.)

GEORGE (_looking up at_ OLIVIA). What? What? (_Rising and crossing up to_ ANNE.) Well, what is it?

ANNE. Mr. Pim says he will come down at once, sir.

GEORGE. Oh, thank you, thank you.

(OLIVIA _picks up curtains._ ANNE _goes out up staircase up_ R.)

OLIVIA. George, Mr. Pim has got to know.

GEORGE. I don't see the necessity.

OLIVIA. Not even for me? When a woman suddenly hears that her long-lost husband is restored to her, don't you think she wants to ask questions? Where is he living, and how is he looking, and--

GEORGE (_very angry, going to writing-table, sits_). Of course, if you are interested in these things--

OLIVIA. How can I help being? Don't be so silly, George. (_Moves up to_ R. _of_ GEORGE _with the curtains on her arm_.) We _must_ know what Jacko--

GEORGE (_annoyed_) I wish you wouldn't call him by that ridiculous name.

OLIVIA. My husband--

GEORGE (_wincing_). Yes, well--your husband?

OLIVIA. Well, we must know his plans--where we can communicate with him, and so on.

GEORGE. I have no wish to communicate with him.

OLIVIA. I'm afraid you'll have to, dear.

GEORGE. I don't see the necessity.

OLIVIA. Well, you'll want to--to apologize to him for living with his wife for so long. (GEORGE _looks up and round at her nonplussed_). And as I belong to him, he ought to be told where he can--call for me.

GEORGE (_after a struggle and scratching his head_). You put it in a very peculiar way, but I see your point. (_With a shudder_.) Oh, the horrible publicity of it all! (_Turns away and leans on writing-table_.)

OLIVIA (_going up to him and comforting him, placing her hands on his shoulders_). Poor George. Dear, don't think I don't sympathize with you. I understand so exactly what you are feeling. The publicity! It's terrible.

GEORGE (_miserably and turning in his chair to her_). I want to do what's right. You believe that, don't you?

OLIVIA. Of course I do. (_Taking her hands away_.) It's only that we don't quite agree as to what is right and what is wrong.

GEORGE. It isn't a question of agreeing. Right is right, and wrong is wrong, all the world over.

OLIVIA (_with a sad little smile_). But more particularly in Buckinghamshire, I think.

GEORGE. If I only considered myself, I should say: "Let us pack this man Telworthy back to Australia. He would make no claim. He would accept money to go away and say nothing about it." If I consulted simply my own happiness, Olivia, that, is what I should say. But when I consult--er--

OLIVIA (_with great feeling_). Mine?

GEORGE. My conscience----

OLIVIA (_disappointed_). Oh!

GEORGE. Then I can't do it. (_Rises and is going up_ L.) It's wrong.

OLIVIA (_making her first appeal_). Yes; but, George, don't you think I'm worth a little--

GEORGE (_turning round, seeing_ DINAH _coming_). H'sh! Dinah! (_Moves back to writing-table. Loudly for_ DINAH'S _benefit_.) Well, then I'll write to him and--Ah, Dinah, where's Aunt Julia?

DINAH (_coming in from up_ L.). We've seen the pigs, and now she's discussing the Art of Landseer with Brian. (_Crossing in front of writing-table to_ OLIVIA.) I just came to ask--

OLIVIA. Dinah, dear, bring Aunt Julia here. And Brian too. We have things we want to talk about with you all.

DINAH. Right-o! (_Moves back up_ L.)

GEORGE (_outraged_). Olivia!

DINAH (_turning on terrace_). What fun!

(OLIVIA _goes to table_ L.C. _and picks up her work-box. Exit_ DINAH L.)

GEORGE. Olivia, you don't seriously suggest that we should discuss these things with a child like Dinah and a young man like Strange, a mere acquaintance.

OLIVIA. Dinah will have to know. I'm very fond of her, George. You can't send me away without telling Dinah. And Brian is my friend. (_Moving to cabinet, puts curtains and work-box on top of cabinet_.) You have your solicitor and your aunt and your conscience to consult--mayn't I even have Brian?

GEORGE (_forgetting_). I should have thought that your _husband_--

OLIVIA (_coming down to_ L. _back end of settee_ L.). Yes, but we don't know where Jacko is.

GEORGE. I was not referring to--er--Telworthy.

OLIVIA. Well then?

GEORGE. Oh, of course--You--naturally I--Oh, this is horrible! (_Sits with his face in his hands at writing-table_.)

(OLIVIA _is about to speak to him as_ LADY MARDEN _enters from up_ L. LADY MARDEN _looks at_ GEORGE, _then moves down to centre._ DINAH _follows and comes to_ L. _back end of settee._ BRIAN _follows_ DINAH _and comes to back of table_ L.C. OLIVIA _moves round to_ L. _end of settee_ L.)

OLIVIA (_after a pause_). George and I have had some rather bad news, Aunt Julia. We wanted your advice. Where will you sit?

LADY MARDEN. Thank you, Olivia. I can sit down by myself.

(_She does so, on lower end of settee_ R., _moving cushion away_.)

OLIVIA (_to_ DINAH). You sit there, my darling.

(DINAH _sits in arm-chair down_ L. _and_ OLIVIA _on settee_ L. _There is a good pause_. ALL _are looking very uncomfortable_.)

LADY MARDEN. Well, what is it?

(_Another pause_. ALL _are still looking very uncomfortable_.)

Money, I suppose; nobody's safe nowadays.

(_There is another good pause_. GEORGE _looks up hopelessly at_ LADY MARDEN. BRIAN _moves up inquisitively towards_ GEORGE, _who turns and gradually raising his head catches sight of_ BRIAN _and gives him a severe look and_ BRIAN _retreats quickly to back of_ L.C. _table_.)

GEORGE (_signalling for help_). Olivia----

OLIVIA (_after a pause_). We've just heard that my first husband is still alive.

DINAH. Telworthy!

BRIAN. Good Lord!

LADY MARDEN. George!

DINAH (_excitedly_). And only this morning I was saying that nothing ever happened in this house! (_Rising from arm-chair and sitting to_ L. _of_ OLIVIA _and remorsefully to her_.) Darling, I don't mean that. Darling one!

LADY MARDEN. What does this mean, George? I leave you for ten minutes-- barely ten minutes--to go and look at the pigs, and when I come back you tell me that Olivia is a bigamist.

(DINAH _jumps up and moves to_ L. _of settee_ L.)

BRIAN (_indignantly advancing towards_ LADY MARDEN). I say----

OLIVIA (_restraining him_). H'sh!

BRIAN (_to_ OLIVIA _and taking her hand across table_ L.C.). If this is a row, I'm on your side.

LADY MARDEN. Well, George?

GEORGE (_rising and coming down to_ LADY MARDEN). I'm afraid it's true, Aunt Julia. (_Taking stool from_ L.C. _to_ C., _sits on it_. DINAH _sits in arm-chair down_ L.) We heard the news just before lunch--just before you came. We've only this moment had an opportunity of talking about it, of wondering what to do.

LADY MARDEN. What was his name----Tel--something----

OLIVIA. Jacob Telworthy.

LADY MARDEN (_in amazement_). So he's alive still?

GEORGE. Apparently. There seems to be no doubt about it.

LADY MARDEN (_to_ OLIVIA). Didn't you _see_ him die? I should always want to _see_ my husband die before I married again. Not that I approve of second marriages, anyhow. I told you so at the time, George.

OLIVIA. _And_ me, Aunt Julia.

LADY MARDEN. Did I? Well, I generally say what I think.

GEORGE. I ought to tell you, Aunt Julia, that no blame attaches to Olivia over this. Of that I am perfectly satisfied. It's nobody's fault, except----

LADY MARDEN. Except Telworthy's. _He_ seems to have been rather careless. Well, what are you going to do about it?

GEORGE. That's just it. It's a terrible situation (_With a gesture of despair_.) There's bound to be so much publicity. Not only all this, but-- but Telworthy's past.

LADY MARDEN. I should have said that it was Telworthy's present which, was the trouble. Had he a past as well?

OLIVIA. He was a fraudulent company promoter. He went to prison a good deal.

(_General consternation_. BRIAN _gives a long whistle and goes up_.)

LADY MARDEN. George, you never told me this!

GEORGE. I--er----

OLIVIA. I don't see _why_ he should want to talk about it.

DINAH (_indignantly rising and moving to L. end of settee_ L.). What's it got to do with Olivia, anyhow? It's not _her_ fault.

LADY MARDEN (_sarcastically and emphatically_). Oh, no, I daresay it's mine.

(_There is an uncomfortable pause_.)

OLIVIA (_to_ GEORGE). You wanted to ask Aunt Julia what was the right thing to do.

BRIAN (_crossing down L.C. and bursting out_). Good Heavens, what is there to do except the one and only thing? (_They all look at him and he becomes embarrassed and backs up stage a little_.) I'm sorry. You don't want _me_ to----

OLIVIA (_taking his hand across table_ L.C.). _I_ do, Brian.

LADY MARDEN. Well, go on, Mr. Strange. What would _you_ do in George's position?

BRIAN (_crosses down to back of table_ L.C.). Do? Say to the woman I loved, "You're _mine_ (_bangs table with his fist_), and let this other damned fellow come and take you from me if he can!" And he couldn't--how could he?--not if the woman chose _me_.

(LADY MARDEN _gazes at_ BRIAN _in amazement_, GEORGE _in anger_. OLIVIA _presses his hand gratefully. He has said what she has been waiting--oh, so eagerly--for_ GEORGE _to say_. GEORGE _rises and goes angrily up to_ BRIAN, _who defies him_. GEORGE _is subdued and moves helplessly up_ C. _followed by_ BRIAN, _who is still defiant_. DINAH _rises and runs up_ L. _and round back of settee_ L. _and up to left of_ BRIAN _and takes his arm_.)

DINAH (_adoringly_). Oh, Brian! (_In a loud whisper_.) It _is_ me, isn't it, and not Olivia?

BRIAN. You baby, of course!

LADY MARDEN. I'm afraid, Mr. Strange (DINAH _with an exclamation of annoyance comes down to_ L. _of settee_ L.), your morals are as peculiar as your views on Art.

BRIAN (_down to back of table_ L.C.). This is not a question of morals or of art, it's a question of love.

DINAH. Hear, hear!

LADY MARDEN (_to_ GEORGE). Isn't it that girl's bed-time yet?

OLIVIA (_to_ DINAH _and taking her hand_). We'll let her sit up a little longer if she's good.

DINAH. I will be good, Olivia (_aggressively to_ LADY MARDEN), only I thought anybody, however important a debate was, was allowed to say "Hear, hear!"

GEORGE (_coming down_ C.). Really, Olivia, I really think we could discuss this better if Mr. Strange took Dinah out for a walk. Strange, If you--er----

OLIVIA. Tell them what you have settled first, George.

LADY MARDEN. Settled? What is there to be settled? It settles itself.

GEORGE (_sadly_). That's just it.

LADY MARDEN. The marriage must be annulled--is that the word, George?

GEORGE. I presume so. (_Sits on stool_ C.)

LADY MARDEN. One's solicitor will know all about that, of course.

BRIAN. And when the marriage has been annulled, what then?

LADY MARDEN. Presumably Olivia will return to her husband.

BRIAN (_bitterly to_ LADY MARDEN). And _that's_ morality! As expounded by Bishop Landseer!

GEORGE (_angered, rising and facing_ BRIAN). I don't know what you mean by Bishop Landseer. Morality is acting in accordance with the Laws of the Land and the Laws of the Church. I am quite prepared to believe that your creed embraces neither marriage (DINAH _gives a little cry and bangs a cushion on settee angrily_) nor monogamy, but my creed is different.

BRIAN (_fiercely_). My creed includes both marriage and monogamy, and monogamy means sticking to the woman you love, as long as she wants you.

LADY MARDEN (_calmly_). You suggest that George and Olivia should go on living together, although they have never been legally married. Bless the man, what do you think the County would say?

BRIAN (_scornfully_). Does it matter?

DINAH. Well, if you really want to know, the men would say, "Gad, she's a fine woman; I don't wonder he sticks to her," and the women would say, "I can't _think_ what he sees in her to stick to her like that," and they'd both say, "After all, he may be a damn fool, but you can't deny he's a sportsman."

(LADY MARDEN _is very indignant_.)

GEORGE (_indignantly_). Was it for this sort of thing Olivia, that you insisted on having Dinah and Mr. Strange in here? To insult me in my own house?

LADY MARDEN. I can't think what young people are coming to nowadays.

OLIVIA. I think, dear, you and Brian had better go.

DINAH (_getting up_). We will go. (_Crossing below_ OLIVIA _and putting her knee on stool and looking cheekily up into_ GEORGE's _face_.) But I'm just going to say one thing, Uncle George. Brian and I _are_ going to marry each other, and when we are married we'll stick to each other, however many of our dead husbands and wives turn up! Come on, Brian. (_She goes up_ C. _and through window and goes out indignantly, followed by_ BRIAN R.)

(GEORGE _follows them up_.)

GEORGE. Upon my word, this is a pleasant discussion.

OLIVIA. I think the discussion is over, George. It is only a question of where I shall go, while you are bringing your--what sort of suit did you call it?

LADY MARDEN (_to_ GEORGE). Nullity suit. I suppose that _is_ the best thing?

GEORGE. It's horrible. (_Moving down between stool and_ LADY MARDEN.) The awful publicity. That it should be happening to _us_, that's what I can't get over.

LADY MARDEN. I don't remember anything of the sort in the Marden Family before, ever.

GEORGE (_absently_). Lady Fanny.

LADY MARDEN (_recollecting_). Yes, of course; but that was two hundred years ago. The standards were different then. (_Rising and going up_ C. _to_ R.) Besides, it wasn't quite the same, anyhow.

GEORGE (_absently_). No, it wasn't quite the same.

LADY MARDEN (_R. of writing-table_). No. We shall all feel it. Terribly.

GEORGE (_his apology_). If there were any other way! Olivia, what _can_ I do? It _is_ the only way, isn't it? All that that fellow said--of course, it sounds very well--but as things are.... (_Crossing towards_ OLIVIA.) _Is_ there anything in marriage, or isn't there? You believe that there is, don't you? You aren't one of these Socialists. Well, then, _can_ we go on living together when you're another man's wife? It isn't only what people will say, but it _is_ wrong, isn't it?.... And supposing he doesn't divorce you, are we to go on living together, unmarried, for _ever_? (LADY MARDEN _turns and listens_.) Olivia, you seem to think that I'm just thinking of the publicity--what people will say. I'm not. I'm not. That comes in any way. But I want to do what's right, what's best. I don't mean what's best for us, what makes us happiest, I mean what's really best, what's rightest. What anybody else would do in my place. (OLIVIA _holds out her hands lovingly towards him_.) _I_ don't know. It's so unfair. You're not my wife at all, but I want to do what's right.... (_Sits foot of table_ L.C.) Oh, Olivia, Olivia, you do understand, don't you?

(_They have both forgotten_ LADY MARDEN. OLIVIA _has never taken her eyes off him as he makes his last attempt to convince himself_.)

OLIVIA (_almost tenderly_). So very, very well, George. Oh, I understand just what you are feeling. And oh, I do so wish that you could--(_with a little sigh_)--but then it wouldn't be George, not the George I married-- (_with a rueful little laugh_)--or didn't quite marry.

LADY MARDEN. I must say, I think you are both talking a little wildly.

OLIVIA (_repeating it, oh, so tenderly_). Or didn't--quite--marry.

(_She looks at him with all her heart in her eyes. She is giving him his last chance to say "Damn Telworthy; you're mine!" He rises and crosses to_ R. _He struggles desperately with himself, turns to_ OLIVIA.)

GEORGE. Olivia! Olivia! My darling!

(_She rises. He crosses to her and takes her in his arms_.)

(ANNE _enters from double doors_ R.)

ANNE. Mr. Pim is here, sir.

OLIVIA (_prompting him_). Mr. Pim, dear.

GEORGE (_emerging from the struggle with an effort_). Pim? Pim? Oh, ah, yes, of course. (_Crossing up to_ ANNE.) Mr. Pim. (_Looking up_.) Where have you put him?

OLIVIA. I want to see Mr. Pim, too, George.

LADY MARDEN (_coming down_ C. _to_ R. _of table_ L.C.). Who on earth is Mr. Pim?

OLIVIA. Show him in here, Anne. (GEORGE _comes back to_ C.)

ANNE. Yes, madam.

(_She goes out double doors_ R.)

OLIVIA. It was Mr. Pim who told us about my husband. He came across with him in the boat, and recognized him as the Telworthy he knew in Australia.

LADY MARDEN. Oh! Shall I be in the way? (_Moving down to_ R.C.)

GEORGE. No, no. It doesn't matter, does it, Olivia?

OLIVIA. Please stay.

(LADY MARDEN _sits_ R. _settee_.)

(ANNE _enters at double doors followed by_ MR. PIM.)

ANNE. Mr. Pim.

GEORGE (_pulling himself together_). Ah, Mr. Pim! Very good of you to have come.

PIM. Oh, not at all!

GEORGE. The fact is--er--(_It is too much for him; he looks despairingly at_ OLIVIA.)

OLIVIA. We're so sorry to trouble you, Mr. Pim. By the way, do you know Lady Marden?

PIM (_centre_). No, I haven't the honour.

GEORGE (_introducing_). My Aunt! Mr. Pim.

(MR. PIM _and_ LADY MARDEN _bow to each other_.)

OLIVIA. Do come and sit down, won't you? (_Pim is moving to_ L., _turns and bumps into_ GEORGE, _who is following him. She makes room for him on the sofa next to her_.) The fact is, Mr. Pim, you gave us rather a surprise this morning, and before we had time to realize what it all meant, you had gone.

PIM. A surprise, Mrs. Marden? Dear me, not an unpleasant one, I hope?

OLIVIA. Well, rather a--surprising one. (LADY MARDEN _coughs_.)

(_Pim sits to_ R. _of_ OLIVIA, _who takes his hat and places it to her_ L.)

GEORGE (_turns to_ LADY MARDEN). Olivia, allow me a moment. Mr. Pim, you mentioned a man called Telworthy this morning. My wife used to (LADY MARDEN _gives a pronounced cough_)--that is to say, I used to--that is, there are reasons--

OLIVIA. I think we had better be perfectly frank, George.

LADY MARDEN (_aggressively_). I am sixty-five years of age, Mr. Pim, and I can say that I've never had a moment's uneasiness by (_beating her knee with her hand, stick in left hand_) telling the truth.

(PIM _and_ LADY MARDEN _fix each other with a look_. PIM _then looks at_ OLIVIA _and_ GEORGE _and leans back on settee_.)

PIM (_after a desperate effort to keep up with the conversation_). Oh!... I--er--I'm afraid I am rather at sea. Have I--er--left anything unsaid in presenting my credentials to you this morning?

GEORGE _and_ OLIVIA Oh, no!

PIM. This Telworthy whom you mention--I seem to remember the name--

OLIVIA. Mr. Pim, you told us this morning of a man whom you had met on the boat, a man who had come down in the world, whom you had known in Sydney. A man called Telworthy.

PIM (_relieved_). Ah, yes, yes, of course. (_To_ OLIVIA.) I did say Telworthy, didn't I? Most curious coincidence, Lady Marden. Poor man, poor man! Let me see, it must have been ten years ago--

GEORGE. Just a moment, Mr. Pim. You're quite sure that his name was Telworthy?

PIM (_to_ GEORGE). Telworthy--Telworthy--didn't I say Telworthy? Yes, that was it--Telworthy. Poor fellow!

OLIVIA. I'm going to be perfectly frank with you, Mr. Pim. I feel quite sure that I can trust you.

PIM. Oh, Mrs. Marden!

OLIVIA. This man Telworthy whom you met is my husband.

PIM. Your husband! (_He looks in mild surprise at_ GEORGE.) Your--er----

OLIVIA. My first husband. His death was announced six years ago. I had left him some years before that, but there seems no doubt from your story that he's still alive. His record--the country he comes from--above all, the very unusual name--Telworthy.

PIM. Telworthy--yes--certainly a most peculiar name. I remember saying so. Your first husband? Dear me! Dear me!

GEORGE. You understand, Mr. Pim, that all this is in absolute confidence.

PIM (_turning to_ GEORGE). Of course, of course.

OLIVIA (_pulling his arm, trying to attract his attention_). Well, since he is my husband, we naturally want to know something about him. Where is he now, for instance?

PIM (_surprised and turning to_ OLIVIA). Where is he now? But surely I told you? I told you what happened at Marseilles?

GEORGE. At Marseilles?

PIM (_to_ GEORGE). Yes, yes, poor fellow, it was most unfortunate. (_To_ LADY MARDEN. OLIVIA _again pulls his arm, trying to attract his attention_.) You must understand, Lady Marden, that although I had met the poor fellow before in Australia, I was never in any way intimate----

GEORGE (_thumping the desk_). Where is he _now_, that's what we want to know?

(MR. PIM _turns to him with a start_.)

OLIVIA. Please, Mr. Pim!

PIM (_to_ OLIVIA). Where is he now? But--but didn't I tell you of the curious fatality at Marseilles--poor fellow--the fish-bone?

ALL. Fish-bone?

PIM. Yes, yes, a herring, I understand.

OLIVIA (_becoming hysterical_). Do you mean he's dead?

PIM. Dead--of course he's dead. He's been dead----

OLIVIA (_laughing hysterically_). Oh, Mr. Pim, you--oh, what a husband to have--oh, I----(_But that is all she can say for the moment_.)

LADY MARDEN. Pull yourself together, Olivia. (_To_ PIM.) So he really is dead this time?

PIM. Oh, undoubtedly, undoubtedly. A fish-bone lodged in his throat.

(LADY MARDEN _retreats to settee_ R. _again_.)

GEORGE (_moving up_ C. _to_ L. _window, trying to realize it_). Dead! Dead!

PIM (_rising and turning to_ OLIVIA, _alarmed at her hysteria_). Oh, but, Mrs. Marden!

OLIVIA. I think you must excuse me, Mr. Pim. (_Crossing to_ C.) But a herring! There's something about a herring----

(GEORGE _comes quickly to her, very concerned_.)

(PIM _is also very concerned_.)

(_Turning to_ GEORGE.) Oh, George! (_Shaking her head in a weak state of laughter, turns to_ R. _and is about to hurry out of the room towards staircase_ R.)

QUICK CURTAIN.