Part 3

Made the biggest hit of their lives that day And put up an afternoon of play The like of which was never seen By old or young, by king or queen.

The Roosevelt Bears entertain PHILADELPHIA CHILDREN

The theatre chairs were filled with fun, For a boy or girl was in every one Except the four which Jack and Will And the Roosevelt Bears had come to fill.

The band was playing the latest air And laughing children everywhere As the Bears walked down the central aisle In their summer suits cut Philadelphia style.

They looked so jolly and smiled so sweet That the children clapped and stamped their feet And waved their hands and stood on chairs And cried “Hurrah for the Roosevelt Bears!”

But the Bears were large and the seats were small And they found they couldn’t sit down at all; So they stood in the aisle to view the crowd, And thus spoke TEDDY-B out loud:

“Young ladies and gentlemen; children dear; And chairman too, if there is one here,

TEDDY-G and I have come to stay, To hear you laugh and to see the play,

And since we can’t very well sit down We’ll go on the stage and help the clown,

And stand and sit on wall or floor And do some tricks we have done before, And some quite old and some quite new, And keep it up till the show is through.”

The children called for TEDDY-G, But he shook his head and said that he Could sing a song or dance a jig, Or sit on chairs either small or big,

Or talk to girls or with them dine, But to make a speech wasn’t quite his line.

The speeches through, a theatre page Took the two Bears back upon the stage.

As the curtain rolled up to the top A man at the back asked the Bears to stop: “Two clowns are on the stage,” said he, “They have started their piece and I’ll let you see That you can’t interrupt or make a noise Or you’ll spoil this show for these girls and boys.”

“Your advice is right,” said TEDDY-B, And out they went the clowns to see. The clowns were scared when they saw the Bears Step up behind them unawares, And they ran for doors at left and right And as quick as wink were out of sight.

But they were ordered back to earn their fee And to take a turn with TEDDIES-B and G. And from that hour the play went smart For the two bears helped in every part. They made those two clowns march and sing, Jump over chairs and through a ring, And climb up poles and ride a wheel And do a clog-dance, toe and heel. And when they finished amid loud applause The Bears ran off on all four paws With the clowns on backs with jolly noise Throwing kisses back to girls and boys. The orchestra played “A Boy called Taps” And then appeared a troupe of Japs: A dozen little men in tights, The heroes of a hundred fights.

For a little while the Bears stood by And watched the Japs their muscles try, And saw them balance balls and bricks On parasols and billiard sticks, And climb up ladders out of sight And fall again and land all right.

Then TEDDY-B said he’d like to do A Western schoolboy trick he knew. He made the Japs stand in a row And take hold of hands and not let go. Then he caught one end and with whirling clip He showed them how to crack the whip.

The Japs went whizzing in the air And whirled in circles everywhere; But they did the trick so smart and neat That every Jap lit on his feet.

A man with hoops was next to play And he asked if TEDDY-G would stay And help him show the boys and girls How wooden hoops were taught their twirls. But this trick with hoops put TEDDY-G In so many circles he couldn’t see.

They came flying at him through the air And rolling in from everywhere; And try his best he couldn’t throw A single hoop and make it go.

He was hooped around from head to paw, The funniest sight you ever saw; But he enjoyed the fun and said that he Wore rings enough that day for three.

But the jolliest thing that day was when The two Bears dressed as Irishmen: A Dublin Mike and a Pat from Cork Came on the stage to look for work; TEDDY-G as Mike with workman’s hod And TEDDY-B as Pat from Blarney sod;

With blackthorn sticks their foes to hit, And filled to the brim with Irish wit. Their Irish brogue in joke and song Made the children laugh both loud and long.

The last part of the show that day Was sleight of hand, the programs say, But why it failed to work out well The man who tried it couldn’t tell.

A trunk was brought, a solid mass, With iron locks and bound in brass. The Bears were asked to get inside; The trunk was locked and with rope was tied And the man announced that at his command He’d slide a curtain and there would stand The Roosevelt Bears outside and free With the trunk unlocked by any key.

But it didn’t work; the Bears weren’t there, And it gave the man a little scare

To find he couldn’t do the trick, And the trunk was unlocked pretty quick

For fear they’d smother for want of air, But the Bears had gone no one knows where.

The trunk was empty; not as they feared; The Roosevelt Bears had disappeared. The Bears had gone, but no one knew Just where to look or what to do.

Detectives hunted high and low And questioned folks who ought to know, And listened for the slightest sound And hunted rooms beneath the ground, And through the halls walked round and round, But not a trace of the Bears they found.

At supper-time at home that night The boys and girls told of their flight; And the jokes they cracked and tricks they played And the jolliest kind of fun they made. And how they saw them locked and tied So tight and fast that children cried.

Some little girls and wee boys too Wouldn’t go to bed until they knew How TEDDY-B and TEDDY-G Got out of the trunk without a key;

But their papas told them not to mind, That some one the Bears that night would find And the papers sure the following day Would explain in full how they got away.

The Roosevelt Bears spend a day at ATLANTIC CITY

How the Bears got out of the box that day Was never known, the children say; But that afternoon, about half-past four, They engaged fine rooms on the seventh floor,

About half-way up and half-way down, Of the best hotel there was in town; And there they stayed, enjoying a rest

And eating things the very best, And seeing reporters and playing pool And learning things not taught in school.

Said TEDDY-B one morning bright, After spending a hot and sleepless night: “The weather’s warm and sticky too For fellows dressed like me and you; I move we take a little run Down to the shore for some ocean fun.

I’ve heard it said that the bathing there, With sandy bottoms everywhere, Is quite a fad with men of wealth, Who go there simply for their health.”

“My health is good,” said TEDDY-G; “And I’ve wealth enough for you and me; But if bathing’s fun, that’s what I need; My health consists of fun and feed.”

So off they went that very day To try Atlantic City spray

They took a ferry to Camden town And got a train which shot them down Across New Jersey and to the sea So quick they scarce had time to see

The porter boy who brushed their clothes And told them that hotels in rows Lined every street and the ocean front So thick they wouldn’t have to hunt.

And bathing houses, a score or more, He said they’d find them near the shore. They walked the boardwalk to and fro And took a peep at every show;

They heard bands play and auctioneers Make speeches which reduced to tears The crowds of buyers who bargains sought But didn’t need the goods they bought.

They took a turn with a wheeling chair Of double size, to fit a bear, With TEDDY-B, the lazy kind, And TEDDY-G, the man behind.

A palmist read their paws to see How long they’d live and what would be Their fortunes in the years to come When as millionaires they’d be going some. They saw the fish-haul on the pier And the loaded net with fishes queer.

They rode the donkeys on the sand And held some children by the hand While rides they took on donkey back And made the bathers clear the track.

They went below with shivery feel In a little boat where the water-wheel Went splashing round with all its might And pushed their boat into darkest night.

And then to a boardwalk place they went Two colored bathing suits to rent. They dressed themselves like thousands more Who were walking up and down the shore; And across the sand in running dash They struck the breakers with a splash.

Of all the fun of every sort, Since Columbus sailed from Genoa’s port, That the old Atlantic ever had With ocean bathers, good or bad,

With buccaneers or pirate crafts, Or shipwrecked crews on lonesome rafts, With fishermen in ocean wave, Or boats sent out their lives to save,

Or tourists bound for foreign clime With dinners upset all the time, With ocean fish of every form Which swim the same in calm or storm,

With Admiral Drake or Captain Kidd Who stole some gold and got it hid, Or with careless boys of whom you’ve read Who sometimes fall in over head,—

This fun the Atlantic had that day, Some fifty thousand bathers say, Beat every record for a thousand years And made waves laugh themselves to tears.

For the Roosevelt Bears had nerve and pluck And as they faced each wave to duck They plunged right in and got upset Head over paws and awful wet.

They took boys out in water deep And made them from their shoulders leap; And rescued swimmers, four or five, And brought them back to shore alive; And when they tired of the ocean’s whirls They played on the sand with boys and girls, And ran and danced and had lots of fun, And dried themselves in the mid-day sun.

When back they went to get their suits, To put on trousers, coats and boots, Said TEDDY-G from his little house, “This bathing suit wouldn’t fit a mouse; It’s shrunk all up like a lady’s glove And won’t come off by pull or shove.”

Said TEDDY-B from the box next door, “Why didn’t you put on three or four?” But TEDDY-G didn’t see the joke And said he’d rip the thing or choke.

And rip he did from end to end In a way no stitch would ever mend. “It came off that way both smooth and nice,” Said TEDDY-G when he asked the price.

They went that night by lucky chance To an ocean pier where a cake-walk dance Was on in style with couples six Who knew full well the cake-walk tricks.

Two pickaninnies won the prize; They beat all records for their size; And as they did their last encore The Roosevelt Bears went on the floor, And all four danced with toe and paw The smartest cake-walk you ever saw.

The dancing finished with laugh and cheer Then all the children on the pier Shook hands with TEDDIES-B and G And asked them both to come to see A children’s dance, a pretty sight, Which they would give the following night.

But the Bears replied with much regret That Philadelphia they had not seen yet; They must go back and crackers buy To celebrate Fourth of July, For they were bound to show the world That when stars and stripes were first unfurled

And liberty rang sweet and loud For warriors brave and patriots proud, This flag and bell, right then and there, Meant freedom for both man and bear.

The Roosevelt Bears celebrate the FOURTH

TEDDY-G went out the night before To Market Street, to a fireworks’ store, And bought a load of crackers red, And torpedoes round like balls of lead, And great big whirlers which you light And then run off with all your might, And flags and kites and pistol toys: The kind to give to little boys; And rockets which go whizzing high To shoot bright stars around the sky; And sticks to hold and turn about While balls of fire come popping out; And drums to beat and horns to blow, And things to shoot and things to throw; And small balloons in colors gay And a hundred flags to give away; In all about twelve dollars’ worth To celebrate July the Fourth.

They didn’t sleep a wink that night But started out before ’twas light, To historic Independence Square. “For that,” said TEDDY-B, “is where This western world beyond the sea Unfurled the flag of liberty; And that’s the place and this the date Where loyalty must celebrate.” “Oh you come off,” said TEDDY-G, “It’s fun that I am here to see; Who cares to-day who won the game? We’ll shoot off crackers just the same.” And this is how the two Bears talked As down the street to the Square they walked:

TEDDY-B of heroes brave and bold And things they did in days of old; While TEDDY-G just had his say About things to do that very day.

At the Liberty Bell they took a try And hoisted it up good and high And rang it out both loud and clear, And at every ring there went up a cheer; For the only day in all the year When the crack doesn’t spoil the tone sent forth Is Independence Day, July the Fourth. At least that’s what the children say, And they know this bell from Z to A.

But the fun began with the Roosevelt Bears When boys stole on them unawares And put a match to TEDDY-G In his coat-tail pocket, where, you see, He had stored some crackers, a good-sized bunch, Along with hard-boiled eggs for lunch.

Lickety-split-pat-pit-bang-boo! And the coat tail smoked and split in two, And hard-boiled eggs shot here and there And the Bear went up and down in air. But he told the lads he didn’t care, That fun might start in anywhere;

At front or back, in hat or boot, Put punk to powder and let it shoot. “We are out,” he said, “for fun and noise And when fun is trump, boys will be boys.” And from that hour the lads and he Shared all there was to do or see.

They strung a wire from tree to tree, And then the fellows with TEDDY-B Put crackers all along the wire, To prepare the field for an army fire.

Said TEDDY-G, as he explained the play, “We’ll fasten a flag on the wire half-way, And you boys under yonder tree Who have taken sides with TEDDY-B,

When I say the word, you put your fire At the cracker next you on the wire,

While I, if my boys a hand will lend, Will put a match to the other end. To reach the flag first, that’s the game, And the side which wins this piece of fame Wins all the crackers big or small Which haven’t gone off when time I call.

If on both sides the armies flunk Both captains use again their punk.” When both the sides the rules did know TEDDY-G called out, “One! two! three! Go!”

And at the words two armies shot Their cracker guns both quick and hot As on they marched along the wire In powder smoke and blazing fire.

The flag was won by TEDDY-G And prisoners taken, ninety-three Of the finest crackers the others had, All not shot off, both good and bad.

But this army game was children’s play Compared with things they did that day: From noon till night they let things go, In sky above and on earth below,

With slap and bang, in smoke and noise, Like any two July Fourth boys.

They sent balloons up to the clouds And a dozen kites to please the crowds, And then shot rockets just to try To hit the things up in the sky; They dug a hole down in the ground And filled it full of crackers round And shot them off to hear the sound.

They burned their paws and scorched their hair, And when darkness came they did their share Of firing rockets everywhere, And in burning lights, a fiery red, Till long past time for going to bed.

When the day was o’er said TEDDY-B, “Let’s go to-morrow to the Zoo to see The animals imprisoned there: The elephant and polar bear, The lions, tigers, and kangaroos, And tell them one and all the news:

That July the Fourth is the day that we Who own and love this country Do celebrate in smoke and noise, That we may teach our girls and boys That this one day of every year Is given them free to shout and cheer,

As a safety valve for them and you To keep things running square and true.”

Said TEDDY-G, “I’ll freedom teach And try to practise what I preach; To-morrow I’ll let out the Zoo, The elephants and monkeys too, And the polar bear and kangaroo; They’re just as good as me or you.”

The Roosevelt Bears visit the ZOO

Said TEDDY-G, “The thing to do,” As they reached the high fence round the Zoo, In the early morning, about half-past two, “Is to get in there with this load of cake Before the keepers are wide awake.” “You climb the fence,” said TEDDY-B, “And throw this rope back here to me, And pull up the baskets one by one And we’ll land in there a good-sized ton Of the finest cake that was ever made, And strawberry tarts and lemonade And cherry pie and sugar sticks And red ice cream in good-sized bricks And peanut candy and chocolate eclairs And other things quite new to bears.”

“Don’t waste your time in telling me; I bought these things,” said TEDDY-G; And up he climbed, with business sense, A tree which grew beside the fence,

And out a limb and dropped below And called out, “All right; I’m in; let go.” And up went baskets two by two Over the fence into the Zoo;

And before the day began to break The Bears had camped with their load of cake On a grassy knoll where they couldn’t hide And with dens and pens on every side. “We’re in here now,” said TEDDY-B; “What do you say we do?” said he.

“Let’s feed the animals,” said TEDDY-G; “I move we let out two or three And bring them here and feed them cake And see just how our show will take; And if they are pleased, why we’ll go round And let loose everything on the ground.”

To the elephant house the two Bears went And stirred up the biggest elephant, And marched him over to their cake Before he had time to get half awake.

“You mind these things,” said TEDDY-G, “Our breakfast hour is half-past three. If you are good you can have a snack To keep you chewing till we come back.” And they gave old Bolivar (that was his name) Some things to eat till back they came.

Then off they went to the monkey cage Where monkeys of every size and age Were using hands and feet and lungs And saying good-morning in a thousand tongues.

TEDDY-B made them promise they’d be good (At least that’s what he understood) If he’d open the cage and let them out And give them an hour to run about.

“We have,” said he, “some pie and cake Which TEDDY-G will undertake To serve out free in an hour or two To every animal in the Zoo.

We’ll give you as much as you deserve If you’ll act as waiters and help us serve.” The monkeys grinned from ear to ear And winked at each other a little queer, And nodded their heads and seemed to say That the two Bears’ orders they’d obey.

The cage was opened and the crowd went out, Little and big, with laugh and shout, Upsetting each other across the green, The funniest bunch that was ever seen.

The Bears went then to the beaver pond

And told the beavers if they were fond

Of good ice cream served by baboons

To bring on their tails to use for spoons.

They saw some foxes red and gray And asked them to dine with them that day. The wolves looked hungry and said they’d see That all left over was given them free.