Monsieur De Pourceaugnac

1ST PHY. Have a little patience. We will reason upon your affair in your presence; and we will do it in the vulgar tongue, so that you may understand better.

ERA. Ah, who is this? What do I see? What a happy meeting! Mr. de Pourceaugnac! How delighted I am to see you! What! anyone would think that you find it difficult to remember me!

MR. POUR. I leave you in this gentleman's hands. Doctors dressed in black. In a chair. Feel the pulse. In proof of what I say. He is mad. Two big, fat-faced fellows, with large-...

ERA. (_to_ JULIA). Come along; you shall come in spite of yourself. I will put you in your father's hands. Sir, here is your daughter, whom I had to take by force from the man w...

MR. POUR. (_turning to the side he came from, and speaking to the people who are following him_). Well, what is it? What is the matter? What do you want? Deuce take this stupid...

SBRI. Our man has just come, Sir. I saw him at a place three leagues away from here, where the coach stops; and I studied him for more than half an hour in the kitchen, where he...

ERA. No; you need not disturb him; I will wait till he has done. I have to entrust to his care a certain relation of mine he was told about today. He is attacked with a sort of...

SBRI. Ah me! They care little for that, and, besides, they have here a most intolerable hatred for the people of your province; and nothing gives them more pleasure than to hang...

JUL. Oh dear, Éraste! take care that we are not discovered. I am so afraid of being seen with you; all would be lost after the command I have received to the contrary.

LUC. (_pretending to be a woman from Languedoc_).[12] Oh, yèu be yur, be'e! an' I've avoun thee to làs, àrter all this yur tràepsin' vùrwurd an' backward. Cans thee now, yèu ras...

SBRI. Yes, Sir; and for de last eight months ve hafe obtain one littel judgment against him, and he put off all de credeetors till dis marriage vat Mr. Oronte gifes to his tauch...

1ST PHY. And he has come; he has run away from my house, after having been placed under my care; but I forbid you, in the name of the faculty, to proceed with the marriage you h...

NER. (_pretending to be from Picardy_).[13] Oh! Aa can stand nowt more; aa'm rait winded! Ah! good for nowt, thou's made me run well for it; thou'lt not 'scape me now. Joostice!...

MR. POUR. Yes; but even if there should be information, citation, decree, and verdict obtained by surprise, default, and contumacy, I have still the alternative of a conflict of...

JUL. I have just been told, father, that Mr. de Pourceaugnac has come. Ah, there he is, no doubt; my heart tells me so. How handsome he is! How splendidly he holds himself. How...

1ST PHY. I have no intention of losing them; and I am determined to cure him in spite of himself. He is bound and engaged to take my remedies; and I will have him seized, wherev...

1ST SWISS (_without seeing_ MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC). Come you, make haste, mein comrad, ve vill, both of us, go to ze market-place; to zee dis Porcegnac at de chustice, which him c...

MR. POUR. I say, our intended father-in-law, don't give yourself so much trouble; I have no intention of running away with your daughter; and your pretence won't take at all.

THE TWO PHYSICIANS. Good day, good day, good day! Yield not yourself a prey To melancholy sway. We'll make you laugh, I trow, With songs harmonious, gay. Unto us your cure is de...

ERA. (_to_ MR. DE POURCEAUGNAC). I am obliged to leave you a moment for a little affair which requires my presence; (_showing the_ PHYSICIAN) but this person, in whose hands I l...

1ST PHY. The patient is a fool; for in the disease by which he is attacked it is not his head, according to Galen, but the spleen, which must give pain.

SBRI. Yes; everything is succeeding splendidly; and as his knowledge of things is very shallow, and his understanding of the poorest, I put him in such a terrible fright at the...

LUC. What yèu, villun, artn thee fit to drap, vur to tak to yur chillurn arter jis farshin, an' to keep thee eyes vàs, 'feerd thee mids show lig a father teu 'em? Thee shetn git...

LADY (_sings_). Spread, charming night, spread over every brow The subtle scent of thy narcotic flower, And let no wakeful hearts keep vigil now Save those enthralled by love's...

OFF. No, no; to judge by your appearance and your manner of speaking, you must be that Mr. de Pourceaugnac we are looking for, although you are disguised in this manner, and you...

2ND LAWYER (_singing and speaking very fast_). Your deed Is plain and clear, And all the gear Of wigs and law Upon this flaw One verdict bear. Consult our authors, Legislators a...

THE TWO PHYSICIANS. Buon dì, buon dì, buon dì! Non vi lasciate uccidere Dal dolor malinconico. Noi vi faremo ridere Col nostro canto armonico; Sol per guarirvi. Siamo venuti quì...

ERA. (_to the_ PHYSICIAN). It was I, Sir, who sent to you few days ago about a relation of mine who is not quite right in his mind; and I want him to live in your house, as it w...

SBRI. (_affecting not to see_ ORONTE). Ah! What a strange adventure! What terrible news for a father! Poor Oronte, how much I pity you! What will you say? How will you ever be a...

OFF. What is it? what is the meaning of this violence? and what are you doing to this lady? Be off at once, unless you wish to be put in prison.

Everything has been done according to my wish, and is succeeding admirably. We will so weary out our provincial that he will only be too thankful to leave the place.