CHAPTER XXXII.

WORDS OF COMFORT FOR A DISCOURAGED HOUSEKEEPER.

There is no doubt of the fact, that American housekeepers have far greater trials and difficulties to meet than those of any other nation. And it is probable that many of those who may read over the methods of thrift and economy adopted by some of the best housekeepers in our land, and detailed in this work, will with a sigh exclaim, that it is _impossible_ for them even to attempt any such plans.

Others may be stimulated by the advice and examples presented, and may start off with much hope and courage, to carry out a plan of great excellence and appropriateness, and after trying a while, will become discouraged by the thousand obstacles in their way, and give up in despair.

A still greater number will like their own way best, and think it is folly to attempt to change.

For those who wish they _could_ become systematic, neat, and thorough housekeepers, and would like to follow out successfully the suggestions found in this work, and for those who have tried, or will try, and find themselves baffled and discouraged, these words of comfort are offered.

Perhaps you find yourself encompassed by such sort of trials as these. Your house is inconvenient, or destitute of those facilities for doing work well which you need, and you cannot command the means to supply these deficiencies. Your domestics are so imperfectly qualified that they never can do anything _just right_, unless you stand by and attend to everything yourself, and you cannot be present in parlor, nursery, and kitchen all at once. Perhaps you are frequently left without any cook, or without a chambermaid, and sometimes without any hands but your own to do the work, and there is constant jostling and change from this cause. And perhaps you cannot get supplies, either from garden or market, such as you need, and all your calculations fail in that direction.

And perhaps your children are sickly, and rob you of rest by night, or your health is so poor that you feel no energy, or spirits to make exertions. And perhaps you never have had any training in domestic affairs, and cannot understand how to work yourself, nor how to direct others. And when you go for aid to experienced housekeepers, or cookery books, you are met by such sort of directions as these: “Take a _pinch_ of this, and a _little_ of that, and _considerable_ of the other, and cook them till they are done _about right_.” And when you cannot succeed in following such indefinite instructions, you find your neighbors and husband wondering how it is, that when you have one, two, or three domestics, there should be so much difficulty about housekeeping, and such constant trouble, and miscalculation, and mistake. And then, perhaps, you lose your patience and your temper, and blame others, and others blame you, and so everything seems to be in a snarl.

Now the first thing to be said for your comfort is, that you _really have_ great trials to meet; trials that entitle you to pity and sympathy, while it is the fault of others more than your own, that you are in this very painful and difficult situation. You have been as cruelly treated as the Israelites were by Pharaoh, when he demanded bricks without furnishing the means to make them.

You are like a young, inexperienced lad, who is required to superintend all the complicated machinery of a manufactory, which he never was trained to understand, and on penalty of losing reputation, health, and all he values most.

Neither your parents, teachers, or husband have _trained_ you for the place you fill, nor furnished you with the knowledge or assistance needed to enable you to meet all the complicated and untried duties of your lot. A young woman who has never had the care of a child, never done housework, never learned the numberless processes that are indispensable to keep domestic affairs in regular order, never done anything but attend to books, drawing, and music, at school, and visiting and company after she left school, such an one is as unprepared to take charge of a nursery, kitchen, and family establishment, as she is to take charge of _a man-of-war_. And the chief blame rests with those who placed her _so unprepared_ in such trying circumstances. Therefore, you have a right to feel that a large part of these evils are more your misfortune than your fault, and that they entitle you to sympathy rather than blame.

The next word of comfort is, the assurance that you _can_ do _every one_ of your duties, and do them well, and the following is the method by which you can do it. In the first place, make up your mind that it never is your _duty_ to do anything more than you _can_, or in any better manner than _the best you can_. And whenever you have done the best you can, you have done _well_, and it is all that man _should_ require, and certainly all that your Heavenly Father _does_ require.

The next thing is, for you to make out an inventory of all the things that _need_ to be done, in your whole establishment. Then calculate what things you find you _cannot_ do, and strike them off the list, as what are not among your _duties_. Of those that remain, select a certain number that you think you can do _exactly as they need to be done_, and among these be sure that you put the making of _good bread_. This every housekeeper _can_ do, if she will only determine to do it.

Make a selection of certain things that you will _persevere_ in having done _as well as they can be done_, and let these be only so many as you feel sure you can succeed in attempting. Then make up your mind that all the rest must go along as they do, until you get more time, strength, and experience, to increase the list of things that you determine shall always be well done.

By this course, you will have the comfort of feeling that in _some_ respects you are as good a housekeeper as you can be, while there will be a cheering progress in gaining on all that portion of your affairs, that are left at loose ends. You will be able to measure a gradual advance, and be encouraged by success. Many housekeepers fail entirely, by expecting to do _everything well at first_, when neither their knowledge or strength is adequate, and so they fail everywhere, and finally give up in despair.

Are you not only a housekeeper, but a _mother_? Oh, sacred and beautiful name! how many cares and responsibilities are associated with it! And how many elevating and sublime anticipations and hopes are given to inspire, and to cheer! You are training young minds whose plastic texture will receive and retain every impression you make, who will imitate your feelings, tastes, habits, and opinions, and who will transmit what they receive from you to their children, to pass again to the next generation, and then to the next, until _a whole nation_ will have received its character and destiny from your hands! No imperial queen ever stood in a more sublime and responsible position than you now occupy, in the eye of Him who reads the end from the beginning, and who is appointing all the trials and discipline of your lot, not for purposes which are visible to your limited ken, but in view of all the consequences that are to result from the character which you form, and are to transmit to your posterity!

Remember, then, that you have a Father in heaven, who sympathizes in all your cares, pities your griefs, makes allowances for your defects, and is endeavoring by trials, as well as by blessings, to fit you for the right fulfilment of your high and holy calling.