Chapter 18

He likewise told me, that there were above ninety Places of Grandees, but never filled up; who have the Privilege of being cover'd in the Presence of the King, and are distinguished into three Ranks. The first is of those who cover themselves before they speak to the King. The second are those who put on their Hats after they have begun to speak. The third are those who only put on their Hats, having spoke to him. The Ladies of the Grandees have also great Respect show'd them. The Queen rises up when they enter the Chamber, and offers them Cushions.

No married Man except the King lies in the Palace, for all the Women who live there are Widows, or Maids of Honour to the Queen. I saw the Prince of _Asturia's_ Dinner carried through the Court up to him, being guarded by four Gentlemen of the Guards, one before, another behind, and one on each Side, with their Carbines shoulder'd; the Queen's came next, and the King's the last, guarded as before, for they always dine separately. I observed that the Gentlemen of the Guards, though not on Duty, yet they are obliged to wear their Carbine Belts.

_SAINT Isodore_, who from a poor labouring Man, by his Sanctity of Life arrived to the Title of _Saint_, is the Patron of _Madrid_, and has a Church dedicated to him, which is richly adorned within. The Sovereign Court of the Inquisition is held at _Madrid_, the President whereof is called the Inquisitor General. They judge without allowing any Appeal for four Sorts of Crimes, _viz_. Heresy, Polygamy, Sodomy and Witchcraft, and when any are convicted, 'tis called the Act of Faith.

Most People believe that the King's greatest Revenue consists in the Gold and Silver brought from the West Indies (which is a mistake) for most Part of that Wealth belongs to Merchants and others, that pay the Workmen at the Golden Mines of _Potosi_, and the Silver Mines at _Mexico_; yet the King, as I have been informed, receives about a Million and a half of Gold.

The _Spaniards_ have a Saying, that the finest Garden of Fruit in _Spain_ is in the middle of _Madrid_, which is the _Plaza_ or Market Place, and truly the Stalls there are set forth with such variety of delicious fruit, that I must confess I never saw any Place comparable to it; and which adds to my Admiration, there are no Gardens or Orchards of Fruit within some Leagues.

They seldom eat Hares in _Spain_ but whilst the Grapes are growing, and then they are so exceeding fat, they are knocked down with Sticks. Their Rabits are not so good as ours in _England_; they have great plenty of Patridges, which are larger and finer feather'd than ours. They have but little Beef in _Spain_, because there is no Grass, but they have plenty of Mutton, and exceeding good, because their Sheep feed only upon wild Potherbs; their Pork is delicious, their Hogs feeding only upon Chestnuts and Acorns.

_MADRID_ and _Valladolid_, though Great, yet are only accounted Villages: In the latter _Philip_ the Second, by the persuasion of _Parsons_ an _English_ Jesuit, erected an _English_ Seminary; and _Philip_ the Fourth built a most noble Palace, with extraordinary fine Gardens. They say that _Christopher Columbus_, who first discover'd the West Indies, dyed there, tho' I have heard he lies buried, and has a Monument at _Sevil_.

The Palace in the Town stands upon eleven Arches, under every one of which there are Shops, which degrade it to a meer Exchange. Nevertheless, the Stairs by which you ascend up to the Guard Room (which is very spacious too) are stately, large, and curious. So soon as you have pass'd the Guard Room, you enter into a long and noble Gallery, the right Hand whereof leads to the King's Apartment, the left to the Queen's. Entring into the King's Apartment you soon arrive at a large Room, where he keeps his _Levee_; on one side whereof (for it takes up the whole Side) is painted the fatal Battle of _Almanza_. I confess the View somewhat affected me, tho' so long after; and brought to Mind many old Passages. However, the Reflection concluded thus in favour of the _Spaniard_, that we ought to excuse their Vanity in so exposing under a _French_ General, a Victory, which was the only material one the _Spaniards_ could ever boast of over an _English_ Army.

In this State Room, when the King first appears, every Person present, receives him with a profound Homage: After which turning from the Company to a large Velvet Chair, by which stands the Father Confessor, he kneels down, and remains some Time at his Devotion; which being over, he rising crosses himself, and his Father Confessor having with the motion of his Hand intimated his Benediction, he then gives Audience to all that attend for that purpose. He receives every Body with a seeming Complaisance; and with an Air more resembling the French than the _Spanish_ Ceremony. Petitions to the King, as with us, are delivered into the Hands of the Secretary of State: Yet in one Particular they are, in my Opinion, worthy the Imitation of other Courts; the Petitioner is directly told, what Day he must come for an Answer to the Office; at which Time he is sure, without any further fruitless Attendance, not to fail of it. The Audience being over, the King returns through the Gallery to his own Apartment.

I cannot here omit an accidental Conversation, that pass'd between General _Mahoni_ and my self in this Place. After some talk of the Bravery of the _English_ Nation, he made mention of General _Stanhope_, with a very peculiar _Emphasis_.

"But," says he, "I never was so put to the Nonplus in all my Days, as that General once put me in. I was on the road from _Paris to Madrid_, and having notice, that that General was going just the Reverse, and that in all likelyhood we should meet the next day: Before my setting out in the Morning, I took care to order my gayest Regimental Apparel, resolving to make the best Appearance I could to receive so great a Man. I had not travell'd above four Hours before I saw two Gentlemen, who appearing to be _English_, it induc'd me to imagine they were Forerunners, and some of his Retinue. But how abash'd and confounded was I? when putting the Question to one of 'em, he made answer, _Sir, I am the Person_. Never did Moderation put Vanity more out of Countenance: Tho' to say Truth, I cou'd not but think his Dress as much too plain for General _Stanhope_, as I at that juncture thought my own too gay for _Mahoni_. But," added he, "that great Man had too many inward great Endowments to stand in need of any outside Decoration."

Of all Diversions the King takes most delight in that of Shooting, which he performs with great Exactness and Dexterity. I have seen him divert himself at Swallow shooting (by all, I think allow'd to be the most difficult) and exceeding all I ever saw. The last time I had the Honour to see him, was on his Return from that Exercise. He had been abroad with the Duke of _Medina Sidonia_, and alighted out of his Coach at a back Door of the Palace, with three or four Birds in his Hand, which according to his usual Custom, he carried up to the Queen with his own Hands.

There are two Play-houses in _Madrid_, at both which they act every Day; but their Actors, and their Music, are almost too indifferent to be mentioned. The Theatre at the _Bueno Retiro_ is much the best; but as much inferior to ours at _London_, as those at _Madrid_ are to that. I was at one Play, when both King and Queen were present. There was a splendid Audience, and a great Concourse of Ladies; but the latter, as is the Custom there, having Lattices before them, the Appearance lost most of its Lustre. One very remarkable Thing happen'd, while I was there; the _Ave-Bell_ rung in the Middle of an Act, when down on their Knees fell every Body, even the Players on the Stage, in the Middle of their Harangue. They remained for some Time at their Devotion; then up they rose, and returned to the Business they were before engag'd in, beginning where they left off.

The Ladies of Quality make their Visits in grand State and Decorum. The Lady Visitant is carry'd in a Chair by four Men; the two first, in all Weathers, always bare. Two others walk as a Guard, one on each Side; another carrying a large Lanthorn for fear of being benighted; then follows a Coach drawn by six Mules, with her Women, and after that another with her Gentlemen; several Servants walking after, more or less, according to the Quality of the Person. They never suffer their Servants to over load a Coach, as is frequently seen with us, neither do Coachmen or Chairmen go or drive as if they carried Midwives in lieu of Ladies. On the contrary, they affect a Motion so slow and so stately, that you would rather imagine the Ladies were every one of them near their Time, and very apprehensive of a Miscarriage.

I remember not to have seen here any Horses in any Coach, but in the King's, or an Embassador's; which can only proceed from Custom; for certainly finer Horses are not to be found in the World.

At the Time of my being here, Cardinal _Giudici_ was at _Madrid_; he was a tall, proper, comely Man, and one that made the best Appearance. _Alberoni_ was there at the same Time, who, upon the Death of the Duke of _Vendome_, had the good Fortune to find the Princess _Ursini_ his Patroness. An Instance of whose Ingratitude will plead Pardon for this little Digression. That Princess first brought _Alberoni_ into Favour at Court. They were both of _Italy_, and that might be one Reason of that Lady's espousing his Interest: tho' some there are, that assign it to the Recommendation of the Duke of _Vendome_; with whom _Alberoni_ had the Honour to be very intimate, as the other was always distinguish'd by that Princess. Be which it will, certain it is, she was _Alberoni's_ first, and sole Patroness; which gave many People afterwards a very smart Occasion of reflecting upon him, both as to his Integrity and Gratitude. For, when _Alberoni_, upon the Death of King _Philip's_ first Queen, had recommended this present Lady, who was his Countrywoman, (she of _Parma_, and he of _Placentia_, both in the same Dukedom) and had forwarded her Match with the King, with all possible Assiduity; and when that Princess, pursuant to the Orders she had received from the King, passed over into _Italy_ to accompany the Queen Elect into her own Dominions; _Alberoni_, forgetful of the Hand that first advanced him, sent a Letter to the present Queen, just before her Landing, that if she resolved to be Queen of _Spain_, she must banish the Princess _Ursini_, her Companion, and never let her come to Court. Accordingly that Lady, to evince the Extent of her Power, and the Strength of her Resolution, dipatch'd that Princess away, on her very Landing, and before she had seen the King, under a Detachment of her own Guards, into _France_; and all this without either allowing her an Opportunity of justifying her self, or assigning the least Reason for so uncommon an Action. But the same _Alberoni_ (though afterwards created Cardinal, and for some Time King _Philip's_ Prime Minion) soon saw that Ingratitude of his rewarded in his own Disgrace, at the very same Court.

I remember, when at _la Mancha_, Don _Felix Pachero_, in a Conversation there, maintain'd, that three Women, at that Time, rul'd the World, _viz._ Queen Anne, Madam _Mantenon_, and this Princess _Ursini_.

Father _Fahy's_ Civilities, when last at _Madrid_, exacting of me some suitable Acknowledgment, I went to pay him a Visit; as to render him due Thanks for the past, so to give him a further Account of his Countryman _Brennan_; but I soon found he did not much incline to hear any Thing more of _Murtough_, not expecting to hear any Good of him; for which Reason, as soon as I well could, I changed the Conversation to another Topick. In which some Word dropping of the Count _de Montery_, I told him, that I heard he had taken Orders, and officiated at Mass: He made answer, it was all very true. And upon my intimating, that I had the Honour to serve under him in _Flanders_, on my first entring into Service, and when he commanded the _Spanish_ Forces at the famous Battle of _Seneff_; and adding, that I could not but be surprized, that he, who was then one of the brightest _Cavalieroes_ of the Age, should now be in Orders; and that I should look upon it as a mighty Favour barely to have, if it might be, a View of him; he very obligingly told me, that he was very well acquainted with him, and that if I would come the next Day, he would not fail to accompany me to the Count's House.

Punctually at the Time appointed, I waited on Father _Fahy_, who, as he promised, carry'd me to the Count's House: He was stepping into his Coach just as we got there; but seeing Father _Fahy_, he advanced towards us. The Father deliver'd my Desire in as handsom a Manner as could be, and concluding with the Reason of it, from my having been in that Service under him; he seem'd very well pleas'd, but added, that there were not many beside my self living, who had been in that Service with him. After some other Conversation, he call'd his Gentleman to him, and gave him particular Orders to give us a _Frescari_, or in _English_, an Entertainment; so taking leave, he went into his Coach, and we to our _Frescari_.

Coming from which, Father _Fahi_ made me observe, in the open Street, a Stone, on which was a visible great Stain of somewhat reddish and like Blood.

"This," said he, "was occasion'd by the Death of a Countryman of mine, who had the Misfortune to overset a Child, coming out of that House (pointing to one opposite to us) the Child frighted, though not hurt, as is natural, made a terrible Outcry; upon which its Father coming out in a violent Rage (notwithstanding my Countryman beg'd Pardon, and pleaded Sorrow as being only an Accident) stabb'd him to the Heart, and down he fell upon that Stone, which to this Day retains the Mark of innocent Blood, so rashly shed".

He went on, and told me, the _Spaniard_ immediately took Sanctuary in the Church, whence some Time after he made his Escape. But Escapes of that Nature are so common in _Spain_, that they are not worth wondering at. For even though it were for wilful and premeditated Murder, if the Murderer have taken Sanctuary, it was never known, that he was delivered up to Justice, though demanded; but in some Disguise he makes his Escape, or some Way is secured against all the Clamours of Power or Equity. I have observed, that some of the greatest Quality stop their Coaches over a stinking nasty Puddle, which they often find in the Streets, and holding their Heads over the Door, snuff up the nasty Scent which ascends, believing that 'tis extream healthful; when I was forced to hold my Nose, passing by. 'Tis not convenient to walk out early in the Morning, they having no necessary Houses, throw out their Nastiness in the Middle of the Street.

After I had taken Leave of Father _Fahy_, and return'd my Thanks for all Civilities, I went to pay a Visit to Mr. _Salter_, who was Secretary to General _Stanhope_, when the _English_ Forces were made Prisoners of War at _Breuhiga_; going up Stairs, I found the Door of his Lodgings a-jar; and knocking, a Person came to the Door, who appeared under some Surprize at Sight of me. I did not know him, but inquiring if Mr. _Salter_ was within; He answered, as I fancy'd, with some Hesitation, that he was but was busy in an inner Room. However, though unask'd, I went in, resolving, since I had found him at home, to wait his Leisure. In a little Time Mr. _Salter_ enter'd the Room; and after customary Ceremonies, asking my Patience a little longer, he desired I would sit down and bear Ensign _Fanshaw_ Company (for so he call'd him) adding at going out, he had a little Business that required Dispatch; which being over, he would return, and join Company.

The Ensign, as he call'd him, appear'd to me under a _Dishabileé_; and the first Question he ask'd me, was, if I would drink a Glass of _English_ Beer? Misled by his Appearance, though I assented, it was with a Design to treat; which he would be no Means permit; but calling to a Servant, ordered some in. We sat drinking that Liquor, which to me was a greater Rarity than all the Wine in _Spain_; when in dropt an old Acquaintance of mine, Mr. _Le Noy_, Secretary to Colonel _Nevil_. He sat down with us, and before the Glass could go twice round, told Ensign _Fanshaw_, That his Colonel gave his humble Service to him, and ordered him to let him know, that he had but threescore Pistoles by him, which he had sent, and which were at his Service, as what he pleas'd more should be, as soon as it came to his Hands.

At this I began to look upon my Ensign as another guess Person than I had taken him for; and _Le Noy_ imagining, by our setting cheek by joul together, that I must be in the Secret, soon after gave him the Title of Captain. This soon convinc'd me, that there was more in the Matter than I was yet Master of; for laying Things together, I could not but argue within my self, that as it seem'd at first, a most incredible Thing, that a Person of his Appearance should have so large Credit, with such a Complement at the End of it, without some Disguise, and as from an Ensign he was risen to be a Captain, in the taking of one Bottle of _English_ Beer; a little Patience would let me into a Farce, in which, at present, I had not the Honour to bear any Part but that of a Mute.

At last _Le Noy_ took his leave, and as soon as he had left us, and the other Bottle was brought in, Ensign _Fanshaw_ began to open his Heart, and tell me, who he was. "I am necessitated," said he, "to be under this Disguise, to conceal my self, especially in this Place.

"For you must know," continued he, "that when our Forces were Lords of this Town, as we were for a little while, I fell under an Intrigue with another Man's Wife; Her Husband was a Person of considerable Account; nevertheless the Wife show'd me all the Favours that a Soldier, under a long and hard Campaigne, could be imagined to ask. In short, her Relations got acquainted with our Amour, and knowing that I was among the Prisoners taken at _Breuhiga_, are now upon the Scout and Enquiry, to make a Discovery that may be of fatal Consequence. This is the Reason of my Disguise; this the unfortunate Occasion of my taking upon me a Name that does not belong to me."

He spoke all this with such an Openness of Heart, that in return of so much Confidence, I confess'd to him, that I had heard of the Affair, for that it had made no little Noise all over the Country; that it highly behoved him to take great Care of himself, since as the Relations on both Sides were considerable, he must consequently be in great Danger; That in Cases of that Nature, no People in the World carry Things to greater Extremities, than the _Spaniards_. He return'd me Thanks for my good Advice, which I understood, in a few Days after, he, with the Assistance of his Friends, had taken Care to put in Practice; for he was convey'd away secretly, and afterwards had the Honour to be made a Peer of _Ireland_.

My Passport being at last sign'd by the Count _de las Torres_, I prepared for a Journey, I had long and ardently wish'd for, and set out from _Madrid_, in the Beginning of _September_, 1712, in Order to return to my native Country.

Accordingly I set forward upon my Journey, but having heard, both before and since my being in _Spain_, very famous Things spoken of the _Escurial_; though it was a League out of my Road, I resolved to make it a Visit. And I must confess, when I came there, I was so far from condemning my Curiosity, that I chose to congratulate my good Fortune, that had, at half a Day's Expence, feasted my Eyes with Extraordinaries, which would have justify'd a Twelve-months' Journey on purpose.

The Structure is intirely magnificent, beyond any Thing I ever saw, or any Thing my Imagination could frame. It is composed of eleven several Quadrangles, with noble Cloisters round every one of them. The Front to the West is adorn'd with three stately Gates; every one of a different Model, yet every one the Model of nicest Architecture. The Middlemost of the three leads into a fine Chapel of the _Hieronomites_, as they call them; in which are entertain'd one hundred and fifty Monks. At every of the four Corners of this august Fabrick, there is a Turret of excellent Workmanship, which yields to the Whole an extraordinary Air of Grandure. The King's Palace is on the North, nearest that Mountain, whence the Stone it is built of was hew'n; and all the South Part is set off with many Galleries, both beautiful and sumptuous.

This prodigious Pile, which, as I have said, exceeds all that I ever saw; and which would ask, of it self, a Volume to particularize, was built by _Philip_ the Second. He lay'd the first Stone, yet liv'd to see it finished; and lies buryed in the _Panthæon_, a Part of it, set apart for the Burial-place of succeeding Princes, as well as himself. It was dedicated to Saint _Laurence_, in the very Foundation; and therefore built in the Shape of a Gridiron, the Instrument of that Martyr's Execution; and in Memory of a great Victory obtained on that Saint's Day. The Stone of which it is built, contrary to the common Course, grows whiter by Age; and the Quarry, whence it was dug, lies near enough, if it had Sense or Ambition, to grow enamour'd of its own wonderful Production. Some there are, who stick not to assign this Convenience, as the main Cause of its Situation; and for my Part, I must agree, that I have seen many other Parts of _Spain_, where that glorious Building would have shone with yet far greater Splendour.

There was no Town of any Consequence presented it self in my Way to _Burgos_. Here I took up my Quarters that Night; where I met with an _Irish_ Priest, whose Name was _White_. As is natural on such Rencounters, having answered his Enquiry, whither I was going; he very kindly told me, he should be very glad of my Company as far as _Victoria_, which lay in my Road; and I with equal Frankness embrac'd the Offer.

Next Morning, when we had mounted our Mules, and were got a little Distance from _Burgos_; he began to relate to me a great many impious Pranks of an _English_ Officer, who had been a Prisoner there a little before I came; concluding all, with some Vehemence, that he had given greater Occasion of Scandal and Infamy to his native Country, than would easily be wiped off, or in a little Time. The Truth of it is, many Particularly, which he related to me, were too monstrously vile to admit of any Repetition here; and highly meriting that unfortunate End, which that Officer met with some time after. Nevertheless the just Reflection made by that Father, plainly manifested to me the Folly of those Gentlemen, who, by such Inadvertencies, to say no worse, cause the Honour of the Land of their Nativity to be called in question. For tho', no doubt, it is a very false Conclusion, from a singular, to conceive a general Character; yet in a strange Country, nothing is more common, A Man therefore, of common Sense, would carefully avoid all Occasions of Censure, if not in respect to himself, yet out of a human Regard to such of his Countrymen as may have the Fortune to come after him; and, it's more than probable, may desire to hear a better and juster Character of their Country, and Countrymen, than he perhaps might incline to leave behind him.

As we travelled along, Father _White_ told me, that near the Place of our Quartering that Night, there was a Convent of the _Carthusian_ Order, which would be well worth my seeing. I was doubly glad to hear it, as it was an Order most a Stranger to me; and as I had often heard from many others, most unaccountable Relations of the Severity of their Way of Life, and the very odd Original of their Institution.