Part 14

“No, he was only about five feet eight inches, a little shorter than I....”

“You must be mistaken because, according to all the texts, he was six feet one.”

“I saw him at a distance of course. I was only guessing.” I was amused that they should have seen fit to change even Cave’s stature.

“You can tell he was a tall man from the telecasts.”

“Do they still show them?”

“Still show them! They’re the main part of our weekly Get-togethers. Each Residency has a complete library of Cave’s telecasts, one hundred eight including the last. Each week, a different one is shown by the Resident’s staff and the Resident himself, or someone assigned by him, discusses the message.”

“And they still hold up after fifty years?”

“Hold up? We learn more from them each year. You should see all the books and lectures on Cavesword ... several hundred important ones which we have to read as part of our communication duties, though they’re not for the laymen. We discourage nonprofessionals from going into such problems, much too complicated for the untrained mind.”

“I should think so. Tell me, is there any more trouble with the idolators?”

Butler shook his head. “Just about none. They were licked when the parochial schools were shut down. That took care of Catholicism. Of course there were some bad times. I guess you know all about them.”

I nodded. Even in Egypt I had heard of massacres and persecutions. I could still recall the morning when I opened the Cairo paper and saw a large photograph of St Peter’s Cathedral smoldering in its ruins, a fitting tomb for the last Pope and martyr who had perished there when a mob of Cavites had fired the Vatican. The Cairo paper took an obvious delight in these barbarities and I had not the heart to read of the wanton destruction of Michelangelo’s and Bernini’s works, the looting of the art galleries, the bonfire which was made in the Papal gardens of the entire Vatican library. Later, word came of a certain assistant-Resident of Topeka who, with a group of demolition experts and Cavite enthusiasts, ranged across France and Italy destroying the cathedrals with the approval of the local governments, and to the cheers of Cavite crowds who gathered in great numbers to watch, delightedly, the crumbling of these last monuments to superstition. Fortunately, the tourist bureaus were able to save a few of the lesser churches.

“The edict of Washington which outlawed idolatrous schools did the trick. The Atlantic government has always believed in toleration: even to this day it is possible for a man to be a Christian, though unlikely since the truth is so well known.”

“But he has no churches left and no clergy.”

“True, and if that discourages him he’s not likely to remain too long in error. As I’ve told you, though, we have our ways of making people see the truth.”

“The calculable percentage.”

“Exactly.”

I looked at Osiris in the green shade. His diorite face smiled secretly back at me. “Did you have much trouble in the Latin countries?”

“Less than you might think. The ignorant were the big problem because, since they didn’t know English, we weren’t able to use the telecasts. Fortunately, we had some able Residents and after a little showmanship, a few miracles (or what they took to be miracles) they came around, especially when many of their ex-priests told them about Cavesword. Nearly all of the older Residents in the Mediterranean countries were once Catholic priests.”

“Renegades?”

“They saw the truth; not without some indoctrination, I suspect. We’ve had to adapt a good many of our procedural methods to fit local customs. The old Christmas has become Cavesday and what was Easter is now Irisday.”

“Iris Mortimer?”

“Of course; who else? And then certain festivals which....”

“I suppose she’s dead now.”

“Why, yes. She died six years ago. She was the last of the original five.”

“Ah, yes, the five: Paul Himmell, Iris Mortimer, Ivan Stokharin, Clarissa Lessing and....”

“And Edward Hastings. We still use his introduction even though it’s been largely obsoleted by later tests. His dialogues will of course be the basis for that final book of Cave which our best scholars have been at work on for over twenty years.”

Hastings, of all people! I nearly laughed aloud. Poor feckless Hastings was now the author of _my_ dialogues with Cave: I marveled at the ease with which the innumerable references to myself had been deleted. I began to doubt of my own existence. I asked if Hastings were still alive and was told that he too was long dead.

I then asked again about Iris.

“Some very exciting things have come to light,” said Butler. “Certain historians at the Dallas Center feel that there is some proof that she was Cave’s sister.”

I was startled by this. “How could that be? Wasn’t she from Detroit? and wasn’t he from Seattle? and didn’t they meet for the first time in southern California at the beginning of his mission?”

“I see you know more Cavite history than you pretend,” said Butler amiably. “That of course has been the traditional point of view. Yet as her influence increased in the world (in Italy, you know, one sees her picture nearly as often as Cave’s) our historians became suspicious. It was all perfectly simple, really: if she could exert nearly the same power as Cave himself then she must, in some way, be related to him. I suppose you know about the Miami business. No? Well, their Resident, some years ago, openly promulgated the theory that Cave and Iris Mortimer were man and wife. A great many people believed him and though the Chief Resident at Dallas issued a statement denying the truth of all this, Miami continued in error and it took our indoctrination team several years to get the situation back to normal. But the whole business _did_ get everyone to thinking and, with the concurrence of Dallas himself, investigations have been made. I don’t know many of the details but my colleague probably will. He keeps track of that kind of thing.”

“If she is proven to be Cave’s sister will she have equal rank with him?”

“Certainly not. Cavesword is everything; but she will be equal to him on the human level though his inferior in truth: at least that appears to be the Dallas interpretation.”

“She was very active, I suppose?”

“Right until the end. She traveled all over the world with Cavesword and, when she grew too old to travel, she took over the Residency of New York City which she held until she died. As a matter of fact, I have a picture of her which I always carry. It was taken in the last years.” He pulled out a steel-mesh wallet in which, protected by cellophane, was a photograph of Iris: the first I had seen in many many years. My hand shook as I held the picture up to the light.

For a split second I felt her presence, saw in the saddened face, framed by white hair, my summer love which had never been except in my own dreaming where I was whole and loved this creature whose luminous eyes had not altered with age, their expression the same as that night beside the western sea ... but then my fingers froze; the wallet fell to the ground; I fainted into what I supposed with my last vestiges of consciousness to be death, to be nothing.

3

I awakened in my own bed with my old friend Doctor Hussein beside me. He looked much concerned while, at the foot of the bed, stood Butler, very solemn and still. I resolved not to die with him in the room.

“My apologies, Mr Butler,” I said, surprised that I could speak at all. “I’m afraid I dropped your picture.” I had no difficulty in remembering what had happened. It was as if I had suddenly shut my eyes and opened them again, several hours having passed instead of as many seconds. Time, I decided, was all nonsense.

“Think nothing of it; I’m only....”

“You must not strain yourself, Mr. Hudson,” said the doctor: a touch of sun, a few days in bed, plenty of liquids, a pill or two, and I was left alone with a buzzer beside my bed which would summon the houseboy if I should have a coherent moment before taking a last turn for the worse. The next time, I think, _will_ be the final one and though I detest the thought, these little rehearsals over the last few years, the brief strokes, the sudden flooding of parts of the brain with the blood of capillaries in preparation for that last arterial deluge, have got me used to the idea. My only complaint is that odd things are done to my memory by these strokes which, light as they have been, tend to alter parts of the brain, those parts which hold the secrets of the past. I have found this week, while convalescing from Tuesday’s collapse, that most of my childhood has been washed clean out of my memory. I knew of course that I was born on the banks of the Hudson but I cannot for the life of me recall what schools I attended; yet my memories from my college days on seem unimpaired though I have had to reread this memoir attentively to resume my train of thought, to refresh a dying memory. It is strange indeed to have lost some twenty years as though they’d never been and, worse still, to be unable to find out about oneself in any case, since the will of others has effectively abolished one. I do not exist to the world and very soon (how soon I wonder?), I shall not exist even to myself, only this record a fragile proof that I once lived.

Now I am able to work again. Butler pays me a daily visit, as does the doctor. Both are very kind but both tend to treat me as a thing which no longer matters. I have been written-off in their minds: I’m no longer really human since soon, perhaps in a few days, I shall not be one of them but one of the dead whose dust motes the air they breathe. Well, let it come. The fraternity of the dead, though nothing, is the larger kingdom.

I’m able to sit up in bed (actually I can get around as well or as badly as before but it tires me too much to walk so I remain abed). Sunday is here at last and from the excited bustle in the air which I feel rather than hear, Butler’s colleague must have arrived. I am not ready for him yet and I have hung a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door, composed emphatically in four languages. It should keep them out for a few days.

I have a premonition of disaster which, though it is no doubt perfectly natural at my age with the last catastrophe almost upon me, seems to be of a penultimate nature, a final _human_ crisis. All that I have heard from Butler about this young man, this colleague of his, disposes me to fear him. For although my existence has been kept a secret from the newer generations, the others, the older ones, the chief counselors are well aware of me and though I have so far evaded their agents and though they undoubtedly assume that I am long since dead it is still possible that a shrewd young man with a career in the making might grow suspicious and one word to the older members of the hierarchy would be enough to start an inquisition which could end in assassination (ironic that I should fear _that_ at this point!) or, more terrible, in a course of indoctrination where my apostasy would be reduced by drugs to conformity. It would be the most splendid triumph for Cave if, in my last days, I should recant: the best victory of all, the surrender of the original lutherist upon his deathbed.

Yet I have a trick or two up my sleeve and the game’s not yet over. Should the new arrival prove to be the one I have so long awaited, I shall know how to act: I have planned for this day. My adversary will find me armed.

But now old days draw me back; the crisis approaches in my narrative.

4

The first summer was my last on the Hudson, at peace. Iris wrote me regularly from the Florida keys: short, brisk letters completely impersonal and devoted largely to what “he” was doing and saying. It seems that “he” was enchanted by the strangeness of the keys, yet was anxious to begin traveling again. With some difficulty, I gathered between the lines, Iris had restrained him from starting out on a world tour: “He says he wants to see Saigon and Samarkand and so forth soon because he likes the names. I don’t see how he can get away yet, though maybe in the fall after his tour. They say now he can make his talks on film all at once which will mean of course he won’t have to go through anything like last winter again.” There followed more news, an inquiry into my health (in those days I was confident I should die early of a liver ailment: my liver of course now seems the one firm organ in my body; in any case, I enjoyed my hypochondria) and a reference to the various things I was writing for the instruction of converts and detractors both. I pushed the letter away and looked out across the river.

I was alone, awaiting Clarissa for tea. I had actually prepared tea since she never drank alcohol and I myself was a light drinker at best ... a non-drinker that summer when my liver rested (so powerful is imagination) like a brazen cannonball against the cage of bones.

I sat on my porch which overlooked the lawn and the water; unlike the other houses on that river, mine had the railroad behind it instead of in front of it, an agreeable state of affairs; I don’t mind the sound of trains though the sight of them on their squalid tracks depresses me.

Beside me, among the careful tray of tea things, the manuscript of my dialogue lay neglected. I had not yet made up my mind whether to read it to Clarissa or not. Such things tended to bore her; yet, if she could be enticed into attention, her opinion would be useful: such a long memory of old customs would be invaluable to me as I composed, with diligence rather than inspiration, an ethical system whose single virtue was that it tended to satisfy the needs of human beings as much as was possible without inviting chaos. I had, that morning over coffee, abolished marriage. During lunch, served me by my genteel but impoverished housekeeper (although servants still existed in those days in a few great houses, people like myself were obliged to engage the casual services of the haughty poor), I decided to leave marriage the way it was but make divorce much simpler. After lunch, suffering from a digestive-inspired headache, I not only abolished marriage again but resolutely handed the children over to the impersonal mercies of the state.

Now, bemused, relaxed, my eyes upon the pale blue Catskills and the summer green, the noise of motorboats like great waterbugs in my ears, I brooded upon the implications of what I was doing and, though I was secretly amused at my own confidence, I realized, too, that what I felt and did and wrote, though doubtless unorthodox to many, was, finally, not really the work of my own inspiration but a logical result of all that was in the world: a statement of the dreams of others which I could formulate only because I shared them. Cave regarded his own words as revelation when, actually, they only echoed the collective mind, a plausible articulation of what most men felt even though their conscious minds were antipathetic, corseted and constricted by stereotyped ways of thinking, the opposite of what they truly believed.

Yet at this step I, for one, hesitated. There was no doubt but that the children and the society would be the better for such an arrangement ... and there was little doubt that our civilization _was_ moving toward such a resolution. But there were parents who would want to retain their children and children who might be better cared for by their progenitors than by even the best-intentioned functionaries of the state. Would the state allow parents to keep their children if they wanted them? If not, it was tyrannous; if so, difficult in the extreme, for how could even the most enlightened board of analysts determine who should be allowed their children and who not? The answer, of course, was in the retraining of future generations. Let them grow up accepting as inevitable and right the surrender of babies to the state. Other cultures had done it and ours could too. But I was able, vividly, to imagine the numerous cruelties which would be perpetrated in the name of the whole, while the opportunity for tyranny in a civilization where all children were at the disposal of a government brought sharply to mind the image of the anthill society which has haunted the imagination of the thoughtful for at least a century.

I had got myself into a most gloomy state by the time Clarissa arrived, trailing across the lawn in an exotic ankle-length gown of gray which floated in yards behind her, like the diaphanous flags of some forgotten army.

“Your lawn is full of moles!” she shouted to me, pausing in her progress and scowling at a patch of turf. “And it needs cutting and more clover. _Always_ more clover, remember that.” She turned her back on me to stare at the river which was as gray as her gown, but, in its soft tidal motion, spangled with light, like sequins on a vast train.

She had no criticism of the river when she at last turned and climbed the steps to the porch; she sat down with a gasp. “I’m boiling! Tea? Hot tea to combat the heat.”

I poured her a cup. “Not a hot day at all.” Actually it was very warm. “If you didn’t get yourself up as a Marie Corelli heroine, you’d be much cooler.”

“Not very gallant, are we today?” Clarissa looked at me over her cup. “I’ve had this gown for five hundred years. There used to be a wimple which went with it but I lost it somewhere.”

“The material seems to be holding up quite well,” and now that she had mentioned it, there _was_ an archaic look to the texture of the gown, like those bits of cloth preserved under glass in museums.

“Silk lasts indefinitely, if one is tidy. I also don’t wear this much, as you can see, but with the devalued state of the dollar (an ominous sign, my dear, the beginning of the end!) I’ve been forced to redo a lot of old odds-and-ends I’ve kept for sentimental reasons. This is one of them and I’m very fond of it.” She spoke this last slowly, to forestall any further ungallantry.

“I just wondered if it was cool.”

“It is cool. Ah, a letter from Iris.” Like a magpie she had seen the letter beside my chair and, without asking permission, had seized it and read it through quickly. “I admire a girl who types,” she said, letting fall the letter. “I suppose they all do now though it seems like only yesterday that, next to opening a tearoom, one typed, working for men, all of whom made advances. That was when we had to wear corsets and hatpins. One discouraged while the other quite protected.” Clarissa chuckled at some obscene memory.

“I wonder if Paul can keep Cave from wandering off to some impossible place.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised.” She picked at the tea sandwiches suspiciously, curling back the top slices of bread to see what was underneath: tentatively, she bit into deviled ham; she chewed; she swallowed; she was not disappointed; she wolfed another sandwich, talking all the while. “Poor Cave is a captive now. His disciples are in full command. Even Mohammed, as strong-headed as he was, finally ended up a perfect pawn in the hands of Abu Bekr and the women, especially the women.”

“I’m not so sure about Cave. He....”

“Does what they tell him, especially Iris.”

“Iris? But I should have said she was the only one who _never_ tried to influence him.”

Clarissa laughed unpleasantly. A moth flew into her artificial auburn hair; unerringly, she found it with one capable hand and quickly snuffed out its life in a puff of gray dust from broken wings. She wiped her fingers on a paper napkin. The day was full of moths but, fortunately, none came near us again, preferring lawn and trees to us. “You are naive, Eugene,” she said, her little murder done. “It’s your nicest quality. In theory you are remarkably aware of human character; yet, when you’re confronted with the most implausible appearance, you promptly take it for the reality.”

I was irritated by this and also by the business of the sandwich, not to mention the murder of the moth; I looked at Clarissa with momentary dislike. “I was not aware....” I began in a chilled voice but she interrupted me with an airy wave of her hand.

“I forget no one likes to be called naive ... calculating, dishonest, treacherous, people rather revel in those designations, but to be thought trusting....” She clapped her hands as though to punctuate her meaning; then, after a full stop, she went on more soberly. “Iris is the one to look out for. Our own sweet, self-effacing, dedicated Iris. I adore her; I always have, but she’s up to no good.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You will. You would if you weren’t entirely blind to what they used to call human nature. Iris is _acquiring_ Cave.”

“Acquiring?”

“Exactly the word. She loves him for all sorts of reasons but she cannot have him in the usual sense (I found out all about that, by the way). Therefore, the only thing left her to do is acquire him, to take his life in hers. You may think _she_ may think that her slavish adoration is only humble love but actually it’s something far more significant, and dangerous.”

“I don’t see the danger, even accepting your hypothesis.”

“It’s no hypothesis and the danger is real. Iris will have him and, through him, she’ll have you all.”

I did not begin to understand that day and Clarissa, in her pythoness way, was no help, muttering vague threats and imprecations with her mouth full of bread.

After my first jealousy at Iris’s preference of Cave to me, a jealousy which I knew, even at the time, was unjustified and a little ludicrous, I had come to accept her devotion to Cave as a perfectly natural state of affairs; he was an extraordinary man and though he did not fulfill her in the usual sense, he gave her more than mere lover might: he gave her a whole life and I envied her for having been able to seize so shrewdly upon this unique way _out_ of ordinary life and into something more grand, more strange, more engaging. Though I could not follow her, I was able to appreciate her choice and admire the completeness of her days. That she was obscurely using Cave for her own ends, subverting him, did not seem to me possible and I was annoyed by Clarissa’s dark warnings. I directed the conversation into the other waters.

“The children. I haven’t decided what to do with them.”

Clarissa came to a full halt. For a moment she forgot to chew. Then, with a look of pain, she swallowed. “_Your_ children?”

“Any children, all children,” I pointed to the manuscript on the table.

She began to understand. “I’m quite sure you have abolished marriage.”

“As a matter of fact, yes, this morning.”

“And now you don’t know what to do about the children.”

“Precisely. I....”

“Perfectly simple.” Clarissa was brisk: this, apparently, was a problem she had already solved. “The next step is controlled breeding. Only those whose blood lines seem promising should be allowed to procreate. Now that oral contraceptives are so popular no one will make babies by accident ... in fact, it should be a serious crime if someone does.”

“Quite neat, but I wonder whether, psychologically, it’s simple. There’s the whole business of instinct, of the natural desire of a woman to want her own child after bearing it.”

“All habit ... not innate. Children have been subordinate woman’s ace in the hole for generations. They have had to develop certain traits which, in other circumstances, they would not have entertained. Rats, whom we closely resemble, though they suckle their young will, in moments of mild hunger or even exasperation, think nothing of eating an entire litter. You can condition human beings to accept _any_ state of affairs as being perfectly natural.”

“I don’t doubt that. But how to break the habits of several thousand years.”