Chapter 5

When an Army is not upon Action, the Camp is a tedious Place to spend a Mans time in; but we, who are Subjects of _Great Britain_, had some additional Circumstances to make our Time lie heavy upon our Hands; For my own part, I always look'd upon my self as a banish'd Man, and my Thoughts always look'd homeward. There are a great many Charms in some sort of Delusions, especially, if they flatter Inclination. It was now almost grown into a settled Opinion with me, that _France_ would never make any farther Attempt to restore King _James_, than by way of Amusement, to drive on some other Project; and yet upon the least Intimation of a Descent, my Inclinations willingly carry'd me over to another Belief: And of this my wavering Temper I soon after gave a very remarkable Instance. My Brother-in-law inform'd me by Letter from _Paris_, that there was a deep Design laid to make us all Happy in a little Time, so he advised me to make what haste I could, for that now the Sea was dividing, and the Children of _Israel_ were upon their march to the _Land of Promise_. Immediately I answer'd the Summons, and gave into the Advice by taking Post, and had the Satisfaction to Sup with my Brother in five Days time. The very next Day I went to St. _Germains_, where I was glad to find every thing in such forwardness. The King was preparing himself to go to _Callis_, where a considerable Body of Men were Rendevouzing, as 'twas generally believ'd, in order to be transported into _England_; where in and about _London_, several Persons were privately engag'd, and ready with Arms to receive the King at Landing. In the Town of St. _Germains_, several Persons dispos'd of their Lodgings and Furniture and turn'd them into Money for this Expedition. The Day came that the King was to take leave of the Queen, and here I was resolv'd to play the Physiogminist, and observe in their Countenances, whether I cou'd see any thing that look'd like a Descent, for I did not think it improbable, but the King by this time might be so far habituated to the _French_ Politicks, as to concur to be made a Fool of, and I was not the only one of that Opinion, that the King himself was let into the Secret, and knew very well his Journey to _Callis_; and hovering about the Coast, was only to keep back ten Thousand _English_ and _Scotch_, whose Presence, that Campaign, would have done the _French_ no kindness in _Flanders_. An old Project; and thus much I read both in the King and Queen's Face, for neither at parting, nor afterwards, did the Queen signify that Disturbance which she could not have conceal'd, had the Project been real. I need not give the Reader any farther Account of this Matter for it shewed it self upon the Kings returning to St. _Germains_. Had this Design been attended with no worse Circumstances than harassing a Monarch, and fooling his Subjects at _Paris_, and St. _Germains_, it might here be regarded as an Innocent stroke of Politicks, though very disobliging and improper; but if we look on the other side the Channel, it had occasion'd very Cruel and Barbarous Consequences. Those unfortunate Gentlemen who went upon the Strength of this sham Project to raise Men, provide Arms and Horses, and attempt seizing of King _William_'s Person, are dear Instances of _French_ Policy; for 'tis not to be suppos'd that _Church, King_, Sir _William Perkins_, Sir _John Friend_, Sir _John Fenwick_, or half a hundred of their Adherents, wou'd either have attempted the Conquering of three Kingdoms, or been discover'd by any of the Confederacy, had not the _French_ both encourag'd 'em and left 'em in the lurch.

It was observable after this Peregrination, that King _James_ began to ride with a very loose Rein, and throwing the Bridle in the Neck, managed his Concerns with a great deal of Indifference. He saw clearly how fatal a Thing it was for one King to fall into the Hands of another; and that under the plausible Cloak of Hospitality, and Royal Protection, a Person might be lull'd a Sleep in the Arms of an Enslaver. When Princes are detain'd Prisoners, they generally wear all the Symptoms of their Royalty besides that of Freedom, which cannot be distinguish'd so much by the Eye as, the Judgment; and if some of King _James_'s Subjects regarded their Master with the same Compassion at the Castle of St. _Germains_ as if he had been in the _Bastile_, there was very little Difference to be found besides the largeness of the Enclosure. And if King _James_ has not often been heard to let drop Expressions as if he regarded himself no otherwise than a Politick Prisoner, I am very much misinform'd by those who constantly attended his Person. The denying him his own Guards, the number of Spies he had upon all his Actions, the Uneasiness he often shew'd that he cou'd enjoy no Privacy, are Circumstances that smell very strong of a Prison. However, the Pretence of protecting a Person in Distress, was a noble Sham, and so well dress'd up, that the Generallity ne'er look'd through the Disguise. The Salary allow'd him, and frequent Protestations of standing by him with unpolitick Heads, were look'd upon as undeniable Proofs of _Lewis_ XIV.' Sincerity; but those who were better acquainted with _French_ Stratagems, easily pull'd off the Vizard. King _James_ fell into the Hands of _France_, and was a rich Opportunity in the _French_ Hands, from whence they might raise a Thousand Advantages. He was too great a Treasure to be parted with only upon good Terms. A Tool no less useful to make a Diversion in time of War, than to obtain a beneficial Article at the Conclusion of Peace; and if upon the Foot of this Maxim he was not thrown into one side of the Scales at the Peace of _Reswick_, when _France_ cou'd have no other Motive but being gratified with an Equivalent for the disclaim of his Title, I shall own my self a Stranger to the Spirit and Design of that Treaty. Two things surpris'd all _Europe_ upon that Treaty, the first was, that _France_ should be so inclinable to hearken to a Peace after a War, in which he had always been successful. The other was, that no regard shou'd be had to King _James_, not so much as to be admitted to speak, though _France_ pretended to have undertaken the War meerly upon his Account, and that his Quarrel seem'd to be the only Circumstance to justify his Conduct in the War. The Hopes of gaining Time to work his Ends upon _Spain_, will easily account for his forwardness in clapping up a Peace, and giving up more Towns than he had been Master of by the War; for thus like a through pac'd Politician, he humbled himself by little Condescensions to the Feet of the Allies, and sacrifices these Excrescencies of his Glory, in hopes very speedily to make good all such Deficiences by the larger Acquisition of _Spain_: But nothing will answer the other Part of People's Expectations. _Lewis_ XIV had often made solemn Protestations, that as the War was principally undertaking to do right to K. _James_, so Peace should not be made unless he was consider'd; and unless it were a few near the Person of _Lewis_ XIV who were in the Secret concerning the Design upon _Spain_, there was not a Man in _France_ but who had a better Opinion of their Monarch's Honour, than to think he wou'd desert King _James_ the Second's Cause in so scandalous a Manner, as not to admit his Plenipotentiaries to speak at _Reswick_: Yes, so undefensible was the Conduct of _France_ upon this Head, that they commonly own'd they were asham'd to look any that belong to the Court of St. _Germains_ in the Face, since all their lofty Protestations for restoring King _James_ ended in the self-ended Design of securing the _Spanish_ Monarchy in the House of _Bourbon_. And thus poor King _James_ had implicitely devoted himself to the _French_ King's Politicks, first by suffering himself to be led blindfolded, and after he had pull'd off the Veil, (though some will have it he died with the Film upon his Eyes) caress'd the Opportunity, and made it a principal Ingredient among those Misfortunes which he was in hopes to raise his Merits hereafter, and if he question'd the _French_ King's Sincerity, he either durst not tell him, or scrupled to publish his Insincerity.

These were the melancholly Meditations with which the more discerning part of King _James's_ Friends often entertain'd themselves, but great care was taken that no such Language shou'd reach the _French_ Court. Their Honour was too nearly touch'd to pass over such Reflexions in that severity and remarkable Punishment. I took my self to be pretty Cautious upon such like Subjects, yet upon this last pretended Descent, King _James_ being inform'd that I had express'd my self very improperly upon the Matter, so as to blame the Dilatory Methods of _France_ upon his Account, I was order'd to be Prisoner in my Lodgings, but releas'd after two Days Confinement, with a threatening Charge, never more to reflect upon the _French_ King's Conduct. I do not remember where I spoke the Words, or in what Company, but I believe I might make a loose upon their Management who prefer'd the _French_ to the King's own Subjects upon this Expedition; adding withal, that it look'd as if such Persons had no Design the Project should take Effect, but this was enough to shew I had a jealous Mind.

About this Time my Company, with the rest of the Regiment, was order'd down into _Flanders_, and having been a considerable Time absent I was commanded to attend there. My Brother-in-law who was one of the Robe in his own Country, and unacquainted with the Wars, yet was moved with a certain Curiosity to see a Campaign, and tho' much against my Sister's Will, resolv'd to accompany me into _Flanders_; yet his Principal Motive was to make a Halt at _Doway_, whither he had been invited some time before by a near Relation belonging to the _Scotch_ College in that University. We went together in the _Cambray_ Coach, and after a short stay at _Doway_, we proceeded on to the Army, which then was under that expert and resolute General the Duke of _Luxembourg_. It was certainly a kind impulse of Heaven that gave me my Brother for a Companion upon this Occasion; for an Action happening soon after, viz. the famous Battle of _Launden_, where it was my Misfortune to be dangerously wounded. I had the Satisfaction of my Brother's Company and Assistance during a tedious Sickness, which was the Consequence of my Wounds. The _French_ were no great Gainers by this Battle, though they at long run routed the Enemy, and kept the Field; for besides the great loss they sustain'd during the Attack, which far exceeded that of the Allies, the Victory was not well pursu'd. It was my Post to reinforce a Party of _French_ Fusiliers, who were order'd to Storm the Intrenchmenent, in which Service a Bullet was lodg'd in my Shoulder, which besides disabling me on one Side, the loss of Blood I suffer'd was so great, that I was not able to support my self, but drop'd down and had been trampled to Death under my own Mens Feet, had not a strong Body'd Drummer hurried me out of the Croud upon his Back; but he carried me off with such Precipitation, that one of the Enemies Troopers seeing me at a Distance, and thinking me to be somebody of Consequence, sprung after me upon his Gelding, and carried both me and the Drummer into a Village on the left Hand of the Attack, where several Squadrons were posted. The commanding Officer who was a Colonel of the _English_ Guards, finding, I was of the _British_ Nation, order'd me to be laid in a Barn with a Centinel to guard me, and the Surgeon of the Regiment was immediately call'd for to dress and tie up my Wounds. I had not been in that Lodging above an Hour, but the Village was attack'd by the _French_ Gens d'Arms, and there was a Tryal of Skill between the Flower of both the Armies, in which Action the _French_ at last were Superior, so I was releas'd, but it was equal to me in the Condition I was in whose Hands I fell into, for I had so many fainting Fits which succeeded one another, that I expected not to survive any of 'em. My Brother, whom I desired to go to _Loraine_ during the Action had a Mind to be a little nearer, so remain'd with the Baggage, but met not with me till the next Day, that we both went in a Waggon to his Lodgings in _Loraine_, where I was confin'd three Months before I was able to Travel.

In this Retirement it was that I began to be very Serious: A Soldiers Life has many Occurrences which are not very reconcileable to strict Morality. To comprize my own Character in relation to Christianity, I was neither a Saint nor a Devil. The Pains I felt were very Sharp, and hindred my Rest; my Blood was heated and boiling up to a Fever, which being agitated with daily dressing my Wounds, it requir'd a skillful Physician and a good Regimen in the Patient, to stave off a Fit of Sickness. My Brother prov'd an excellent Nurse, and had he not us'd a great deal of Reason in keeping me from improper Nourishment, the Game would quickly have been up with me. I was also waited upon several times by a worthy Clergyman, who neglected not to give me Penitent Hints to have regard to the main Concern; I return'd him Thanks, and gave him to understand I would make use of him when there was more urgent Occasion. When I began to grow a Valetudinarian, and that my Wounds began to heel up, I had the Liberty to drink _Loraine_ Beer, which is much celebrated in those Parts. As yet I had drank nothing but Tissans and such like Decoctions, which being very mild upon the Palate, did not give content to the inward dryness and thirst I felt by the loss of Blood. But I quickly repented this Indulgence of tasting the Beer, I took such deep Draughts that I relaps'd into a dangerous and most violent Fever, in which I acted all the Parts of a dying Man, besides making my Exit; I was delirious above three Days, which though it was but a melancholly Sight in it self, yet I behav'd my self so various in my rambling Discourse, that it occasion'd no small Diversion to such as were present, and had no immediate concern in my Welfare. I besieg'd Towns, rally'd scattered Forces, accepted Challenges, wandered over the _Alpes_, and pass'd over several Seas without Ships; I was in the Orchard at the Boyne, under the Walls of _London Derry_, and diverted with the fine Rode to _Lions_, and what I thought I should never have in my Head again, some amorous Ideas, though very faint one's, discover'd themselves, and I was heard to talk of Snuff-Boxes, Periwigs, and _Spanish_ Ladies. My Brother who heard me, and to whom I had discover'd that Intrigue, burst out into a Laugh when he heard me name Snuff-Boxes; for this was enough to make him believe the Passion was not dead in me, which he horded up to rally me with.

During this Entertainment which I gave the Spectators, my Brother had sent for the Priest, but I was then in a very improper State to settle Accounts in Relation to the next World. However, the Gentleman approaching my Bed, and calling upon me to hear whether I could return a rational Answer. He bid me lift up my Heart to God, and call upon my Redeemer. But I, as I suppose, taking him to be one of my Sergeants, bid God--D--n him for a Rascal, why had he not been with me before? for the Colonel had order'd a Review shou'd be made at Eleven a Clock. The Priest shrugg'd up his Shoulders, sprinkled me with Holy Water, and retir'd to the Window, where my Brother and the Physician were attending my Fate. When my Delirious Fit was over, which was about an Hour afterwards, I turn'd my Eyes towards the other Side of the Room, where I saw three Persons leaning in the Window with their Backs towards me; and not being entirely recover'd from my Delirious State, I fancied my self a Prisoner at _Constantinople_, and that my Brother, the Physician, and the Priest, were three Mutes sent to Strangle me; but in an Instant or two I return'd to my self, and discover'd whose Hands I was in. This was a terrible Attack, and the Enemy had made such a Breach, that I desired to wisper a Word with the Priests, telling him I wou'd Capitulate next Morning about Eight a Clock. Afterwards I recover'd very leisurely, and took great Care not to be too bold with the _Lorain_ Beer. My Phician advised me not to remove from that Place till I was perfectly establish'd, assuring me there was not better Air in all the _Netherlands_. I follow'd his Advice, for I cou'd not think him prompted to give it me through Avarice, for he was so very moderate in his Fees, that I thought my self oblig'd at our parting to make him a handsome Present. My Brother who was a Man of Letters, and very curious in his Enquiries, had a good opportunity during our stay here to get acquainted with several learned Men of this University. One of the first account was Dr. _Martin_ an _Irish_ Clergyman, who had a lively Genious and was also a Person of great reading. In the mean time my Sister at _Paris_ began to grow impatient for her Husband, but she bore his Absence the better when she understood how useful he had been to me during my Sickness. However, we made bold to Trespass a little further, by taking a turn round the Country. It was not a Journey entirely of Pleasure, for I was oblig'd to go to _Amsterdam_, there being a stop put to the Interest of my Mony, so I was resolved to see that Matter rectify'd. So having obtained a Pass from the Allies, under the Quality of two _Scotch_ Merchants we began our Journey. When I came to _Amsterdam_, I was very much surpriz'd to understand the odd Occasion of my Money being stop'd. It seems a Countryman, of mine who had fish'd out something of my Concerns, and saw me fall at the Battle of _Launden_, had Counterfeited a Deed in the Nature of a Will, which imported, that all my Effects in _Amsterdam_ were left to him, he being my Brother, and demanding it as his due. The Banker had the Deed perus'd by several Persons, it had a great appearance of being Authentick, and my Hand was so inimitably clap'd to it, that when compared with what was certainly known not to be Counterfeit, 'twas impossible to discover the Difference. Now the Banker desired this pretended Brother of mine to have Patience till he had an account from _Paris_ whether or no I was dead, and the general Report being that I was kill'd at _Launden_, this was the occasion that the Money was neither paid to my Correspondent nor to my Sham Brother. This Point once clear'd, I was resolv'd to find out the Person who had personated my Brother, that I might bring him to condign Punishment, as also to clear a Suspicion I had, that my Servant had a Hand in it, for otherwise I thought it impossible one that was a Stranger should know whose Hands my Money was in. In the first place I cunningly interrogated my Servant at a distance, and found enough by his Countenance that he was not entirely Innocent, however, not being able to prove it upon him, I in the next place made a diligent Search after my Sham-Brother; for he had told the Banker at his last Visit that he wou'd return again in Seven or Eight Days, and Six of 'em were now expired. The Gentleman was as good as his World. He came to the Banker with a good Assurance, and demanded both Principal and Interest. I was then at my Lodging, but being sent for, I was strangely surpris'd to see the Clerk of my Company, who was also a Sergeant, metamorphos'd into my Brother. He shrunk two Inches lower at the Sight of me; but dissembling the matter, I am glad to see thee alive Sergeant said I, for I took it for granted you were kill'd at the Battle of _Launden_; and I, reply'd the impudent Villain, thought you had, otherwise I had not been here: but if you please, noble Captain, to walk into the next Tavern and give me leave to wait upon you, I will discover to you the occasion of my coming to _Amsterdam_. My Fears as to my Money being now all over, I comply'd with the Rascal, and went along with him. But he dress'd up such a Narrative in favour of his good Intention, and strengthen'd it with such plausible Circumstances, That he and my Servant, whom he confess'd to be one of the Party, had no other Intention but to get the Money out of the Banker's Hands for the Use of my Relations; for that they had Reason to suspect I had made no Will, and so no body wou'd have a Right to demand the Money. Now though this Stratagem was very probably all a Fiction, yet it wrought so much with me, that I did not Prosecute either of 'em; for as I was acquainted with both their Friends in _Scotland_, so I had some regard for them, and dismissed them to go home or whither they pleas'd, not thinking it safe to entertain Persons who had been involved in such mysterious Practices.