Chapter 4

And now I was preparing to visit _Italy_, where some of the _Irish_ Forces were then employ'd, and my Company expected me; but before I set out, I had a mind to inform my self better of a certain Report wisper'd at _St. Germains_, That in a little Time King _James_ would make another Push, and that a Descent in _England_ was certainly in Agitation. Now I was at a Loss how to be truly inform'd of this Matter; the King's Fleet rendevouzing upon the Coast of _Normandy_, and several Battalions marching that way, look'd something like a Descent, but this was not sufficient to convince me, who knew that such Alarms were often given upon a quite different Score, to what the Generality of People had in View. However, the _French_ laid strong Colours upon this Preparative; first they gave out, That they had bribed most of the _English_ Fleet, so there wou'd be no Danger from that Quarter nor Body to oppose the Descent; again, King _James_ set forth a solemn Manifesto, inviting all his Subjects to rise and take Arms, granting an Amnesty only to such as were specify'd in his Proclamation, and to put the last Stroke to this Master-piece of Policy; the King himself was perswaded to appear at the Head of some Troops upon the Coast of _Normandy_. The Pill thus guilded, was swallow'd by every Body; I own I was my self charm'd with the Beauty of the Project, and it look'd so like the dawning of a Restoration, that I was resolv'd to make Interest with our General, that I might not return to my Company upon the Borders of _Italy_; but rather accompany my Prince, and contribute more immediately to conclude the happy Work. While these Matters were in Agitation, I had an Invitation to see the Palace and Gardens of St. _Clou_, from an old Acquaintance, whom I knew an Officer upon the _Rhine_, but now was one of the Duke of _Orlean_'s Secretaries. This Gentleman, as we walk'd in St. _Clou_'s Gardens, being inquisitive how I had spent my Time since our last parting, and how my Affairs stood at present, I gave him a short Narration of my Travels and Actions, telling him I was now a Captain of Foot, and had a Promise of a Lieutenant Colonels Commission the next Vacancy, but that I design'd to throw up my Pretensions, and accompany King _James_. The Gentleman surpriz'd at what I said, I suppose Sir, said he, you must have a fair Prospect of a Place at Court to put it at Ballance with a Lieutenant Colonels Commission, and then turning his Discourse into Raillery, or perhaps says he, you are so taken with the beautiful Enclosures of _Normandy_, as to think a Tour in that Country will recompence all other Losses. No Sir, said I, but I am in hopes, that as I am one who have been useful to his Majesty in several Capacities, so being near his Person in the Descent, if it prove Successful, as no Body seems to question, so I shall be more in his Majesty's Eye, and in fairer Prospect of climbing, than if I were doing him Service at a Distance. Well, Sir, said he, I am sorry our former Intimacy does oblige me to use the Freedom of disabusing you of this vulgar Error of most of King _James_'s Subjects. I cannot blame them for being desirous to return Home, but they are so Infatuated in their Zeal that way, that they imagine every Step our Monarch takes, tends immediately towards their Master's Restoration; believe me, old Friend, Kings have commonly long Heads, and 'tis well known _Lewis_ XIV has led all _Europe_ through so many Politick Mazes for these Forty or Fifty Years, that he never lets any Body know he is doing a Thing till 'tis in a manner done. All Masters in Politicks look one way and Row another. I own the Preparatives upon the Coast of _Normandy_ look like a Descent, but there are false Attacks upon Kingdoms as well as upon Towns: You are not Ignorant that King _William_ is now at the Head of a powerful Army in _Flanders_, and that our King is not so well provided there as he expected; Now if King _William_ receives the Reinforcement he expects out of _England_ and _Scotland_, it will give him that Superiority, that _France_ will not be able to make the last stand on that Quarter; so that 'tis no Secret for us at _Versailles_, that all this Alarm of a Descent upon _England_, is a meer blind to make a Diversion, and to hinder the Transportation of the _British_ Forces. But you Jacobites and _English_ are so ragingly dispos'd, to give every Thing a favourable turn towards King _James_'s Cause, that I have frequently observ'd, there can scare be two Men of War sent out of any Port of _France_, let it be towards the _Indies, Mediterranean_, or other Places, but you make a Descent of it. But as I insinuated Sir, I am glad I have the Opportunity to set you to Rights as to this Affair, that you may not risque a seeming promising Fortune, by catching a Shadow. The Thoughts of having King _James_ made such a Tool of, would not permit me immediately to be civil to the Gentleman, and return him Thanks for the seasonable Advice; however, after I had recollected my self, I did my Duty in that Respect: But the Idea he gave me of his Masters Politicks left a Deep Resentment on my Soul. Afterwards, as I return'd to _Paris_, I ruminated upon this Subject, and I saw a thousand Contradictions and Improbabilities in the pretended Descent. The Troops design'd for this Business was very few, and the worst in _France_; the King's own Subjects were not to be employ'd, unless a few Straglers; besides there were no Transportships, nor in fine, any Thing that look'd like an Attempt to Conquer three Potent Kingdoms. King _William_ had in a manner the whole Kingdom in his Design at his Descent, he also had the _English_ Army secur'd to him, he brought over 15000 Veterans in a Fleet of 600 Sail, but this sham Descent was destitute of all these Advantages. I don't question but _Lewis_ XIV, as he proposed an End in this Politick Amusement, so it answer'd accordingly; but as for poor King _James_, I know no Benefit either He or his Friends reap'd from it, besides the Fatigue of a _Norman_ Progress, and having all the Jacobites in _England_ imprison'd, fin'd, and plunder'd; so that to gain a few Acres of Land to _France_, _England_ must be exasperated to let all the Laws loose upon both Protestants and Roman Catholicks that were Well-wishers to King _James_. And yet though the French Court obtain'd their Ends in one Respect, they suffer'd from the Hand of Providence in another. I wou'd not be thought to pry with too much Curiosity into the hidden Paths of Providence, otherwise I should be apt to judge that the Destruction of the _French_ Fleet at the _Hague_, look'd somewhat like a Judgment from Heaven for amusing an unfortunate Prince with a false Prospect of Happiness, and yet that loss has been sometimes objected to King _James_, as marr'd upon his Account, so dextrous are the _French_ in turning Things to their own Credit.

After this you may well imagine I took a new Resolution not to part with the Prospect I had of making my Fortune in the Post I was in, joyning Company therefore with three or four more Officers who belong'd to the same Army in which I serv'd, we set out with all Expedition. I don't remember to have been better diverted upon the Road, since I first knew what it was to Travel; one of our Company was a _Provincial_, and the very Quintessence of Wit and Gaiety. There was not the most trivial Occurrence but he dexterously made use of it to divert us, particularly at a small Village within a Days Journey of _Lions_. The Bailiff of the Village coming to our Inn to gather a kind of Tax (as it happen'd to be a Day pitch'd upon for that end) for the Relief of the Poor, the _Provincial_ Gentleman being deputed, the Steward of our Company, fell into some Discourse with the Bailiff in the Kitchin. Among other Things, the Bailiff being mellow, gave him to understand, that though his Mien and Equipage was not extraordinary, yet he was the Chief Man in the Town, and immediately represented the King's Majesty, so that if any of the Company were of Quality, it was his Business to show them that Respect which was due to them. The _Provincial_ had a good Cue to give us a Comical Scene, which all was contriv'd upon the Spot, to drive away a deep Melancholy from one of our Company, who had not spoke a Word in two Days. With that he took the Bailiff aside, Sir, said the Person, we all attend here on the Prince of ---- Eldest Son, who is going to Travel into _Italy_. Had there been a Garison here, it ought to have been drawn up at his Entrance, and the Keys of the Town deliver'd to him; but since you are not so provided, you may exert yourselves as much as you can; I suppose you have Musick in the Town? yes Sir said the Bailiff, we have three Violins, a grand Bass, and a Citherne. Do you never exhibit any Plays says the _Provincial_, or other Antick Performance? No replies the Bailiff, but we have a Sport that comes very near it, which we entertain the Country with twice a Year, _viz_. at _Easter_ and _Whitsunday_, and the Parts are now fresh in the Actors Memory. This will do says the _Provincial_, but see all Things are ready to give the Young Prince the Diversion immediately after Supper, because he durst not sit up very late. As for the Prologue, wherein you are to Address your selves to his Highness, I will furnish you with the Method and Form in which it must be spoke by the School-master of the Town. Now all this was carried on in Privacy from us, tell we were call'd out one by one, all excepting the Chagrin Gentleman, who lay dozing in an two arm'd Chair, to whom we were instructed to pay a singular Respect to during Supper, to blind the Matter. And now the whole Village was drawn about the Inn, to have a Sight of the young Prince. After Supper all the Tables and Chairs were remov'd; the Bailiff enters with his Staff, and according to Information given him, Kneels down and pays his Respects to the suppos'd Prince; After him comes in the Actors in their proper Dresses; and then the School-master, who open'd the Farce with a Comical Address made by the _Provincial_ Officer, which in every Line hinted at some Passage of the Melancholy Gentleman's Life, but with such an Ambiguous turn, and yet home to the Man, that it was an excellent Piece of Diversion, to observe the variety of Motions in the Princes Countenance, who thought all to be Witchcraft and Inchantment. The Force being over, and we left to our selves, the _Provincial_ returning up Stairs from conducting his Troop to the Door, Well, Gentlemen, says he, how do you relish your Diversion? _Et vous Monsieur le Prince_, if this will not bring you to your self, you shall be Dethron'd at _Lyons_, and put upon a Level with the rest of the Company; for he that pretends to put on a starch'd reserv'd Air upon a Journey, make himself a Prince by his Distance, and so must either lose his Dignity by being good Humour'd, or pay the Reckoning like a Prince, and that we have Decreed shall be your Choice the Remainder of the Journey. The _Provincial_ gain'd his End, for either this comical Accident was the Occasion, or the Term of the Gentleman's Melancholy was expired; for afterwards he put on a gay Temper, and proved tollerable Company.

We cou'd not content our selves with a single Nights Lodging in _Lyons_, that City is furnish'd with too many Rarities for the amusement of Strangers, not to partake of a little more of their Money than any Vulgar Inn upon the Road. And as we none of us desired to carry more with us than what wou'd Answer our Travelling Expences, so we joyn'd in a Resolution to divert our selves one Week or ten Days in that Populous Place. I had a Recommendation from _Paris_ to an _Irish_ Clergyman, who was a Prependary here, and a Person of Repute. This Gentleman wou'd oblige me to take a Bed with him during my stay there, which I was very unwilling to accept of upon Account of my Company, however, he said that would be no Inconvenience, since I might take my freedom with them all the Day, in case I wou'd favour him with my Company half an Hour before Bed time in the Evening. I perceiv'd this Goatly Clergyman was of a different Stamp to the Generality of his Countrymen, and had a true Idea of the _French_ Politicks, for discoursing one Night upon the Subject of a Restoration, and finding I was a Person he might deliver his Mind freely to. Certainly, _said_ he, never Prince was more the Game of Politicians and Fools than King _James_ II. His own Friends at home threw him out of his Throne by their forward and indiscreet Management, and now he is bubbled with daily Hopes of Recovering it, when in reality there was never any Design to bring it about. But King _James_ will always be King _James_, and Judge every Man Honest, who does but pretend to be so; for pray, gave me leave Sir, will it pass for a seizable Story in future Ages. That _Lewis_ XIV should make War in order to Restore _James_ II and keep above 40000 Men in constant Pay, and never employ any of them that way. Twenty thousand Horse would have laid the Three Kingdoms desolate in a few Weeks, but was there so much as one single Dragoon employ'd that way? Was not King _James_ forced to melt his Canon and debase the Coin with it, whilst _Lewis_ XIV could send vast Remittances to _Constantinople_ to Support the _Turk_? Were not 300000 Men driven like Sheep from the Banks of the _Boyne_ for want of Arms, while what wou'd have furnish'd a Million of Men, were Rusting in the Magazines of _France_? Were not the Highlanders constantly neglected, and fed with nothing but Promises, till they were reduc'd from a Victorious Army to a Troop of Banditti? Have not the Lives and Fortunes of Thousands in _England_ payed very dear for these _French_ Politics, by being encourag'd to rise up and Precipitate themselves into Ruin, by the Motions of Fleets and Armies upon sham Pretences of making Descents. I own Sir, I am transported when I find an Opportunity to vent my self upon this Subject. Had _Lewis_ XIV been streightned by the Allies, he might have some pretence of not affording so much Assistance as otherwise he might; but in the last War, he was always Victorious both upon the _Rhine_ and in _Flanders_, and if after the Battle of _Steenheer, Fleurs, Landen_, and Victories at Sea, besides the vast number of Towns he reduced, he did not think fit to employ his Arms towards restoring King _James_, I must take the Liberty to think the War was not begun upon his Account, nor that it can be judg'd the Interest of _France_ (unless they act against their own interest, which they are too wise a Nation to do) to have him reestablish'd. But all this, Sir, I speak under the Rose; the Honour of the _French_ Court is too much touch'd by such Reflections as these to suffer them to go unpunish'd if I should be discover'd. But I conclude from my worthy Friend at _Paris_ who gave me your Character, that I might use any freedom in your Company. It may perhaps look like Ingratitude in me to reflect upon a Person by whose Benevolence I possess this Post I have in the Church, which does not only afford me a decent Maintenance, but the Opportunity of obliging a Friend, but as I was a greater sufferer in _Ireland_, by giving too much into _French_ Projects, so I look upon both this or any other Kindness they can do me, as a piece of Restitution. The Frank and open Satyr of this Clergyman against the _French_ Conduct was very agreeable to my Temper, and I was not backward in seconding him in the same Key. But while we were entertaining our selves with these dismal Reflections, a Servant knock'd at the Chamber Door, so the Gentleman step'd to know his Business, and after about half a Quarter of an Hour return'd again. I have been, says he, this Fortnight engaged in a very troublesome Affair, which is like to have an ill Consequence to the Party concern'd. Here is, says he in Town an _Englishman_, who has, as he informs me, been studying at a College of that Nation of _Rome_, but for want of Health is oblig'd to break off his Studies, to have the Benefit of his own Country Air, which the Physicians prescribe to him as the only Remedy to patch up his decaying Constitution: But the poor Gentleman, about Three Leagues out of Town, as he was steering his Course towards _Paris_, and so Homeward, met with a very unfortunate Accident. Walking on the Road about half an Hour before Sun setting, he was overtaken by a Gentleman who kept pace with him, and ask'd him among other Things how far he design'd to Travel that Night, the _Englishman_ told him he was a Stranger to the Stages upon the Road, but he believ'd he should take the Opportunity of the next Inn, for that it began to grow late. The _French_ Man appear'd very obliging in his Conversation, and told him he should have been glad of his Company, but that he was oblig'd to turn off on the Right Hand to a Friends House, whither he was going to divert himself a Day or Two. They had not gone a Hundred Rood farther, but he stop'd and desired the _Englishman_ if he wou'd take a pinch of Snuff, and then look'd backward and forward with an ominous Countenance, he Collar'd the _Englishman_, and drawing a small Pistol out of his Pocket, without any farther Ceremony, he cry'd _Ou la vie, ou la Bourse_. The Business was quickly over, and the _Englishman_ robb'd of all his Stock, which was to the value of Nine Pounds _English_, besides a little Box of _Roman_ Coin, which were small Pieces of Money he kept for Counters. The Foot-pad, after he had got his Booty, alters his Course, and turns back towards _Lyons_, charging the _Englishman_ not to pursue him, nor yet go forward till he saw him out of Sight; for if he did, he wou'd certainly return upon him and deprive him of his Life as well as his Money. There was no arguing the Case, and the Surprize was so great, that had there been any way of escaping this Accident, 'tis probable it wou'd not have occurr'd at that time.

As soon as the Villain was out of sight, the _Englishman_ loitered his Time too and fro till it was dark, and then return'd backward towards _Lyons_, hoping to meet either with Credit or Charity for a small Sum to bear his Charges home, but not being able to reach the Town that Night, he put in at a poor Cabaret, where he open'd his dismal Condition to the Master of the House, who being a very Compassionate Man, promis'd to entertain him _Gratis_ that Night, and conduct him to _Lyons_ the next Morning. His first Application was to me; I promis'd to get him some Relief in a Day or Two, and the mean Time I procur'd him a Lodging. The next Day coming up a Street which leads to my House, he accidently cast his Eyes into a Habadasher's Shop, where he saw a Person sitting upon a Stool at the side of the Counter chaffering for a Hat; his Back, and a Silk Bag his Wigg was tied up in, had so much the Resemblance with the Person that rob'd him, that he stood gazing into the Shop so long, that the shop-keeper step'd to the Door, and call'd to him if he would come in and please to buy any Thing, upon which the Gentleman upon the Stool turning himself about to look out of the Shop, he was known to be the same Man who had committed the Robbery, and being in a Consternation to see the Person he had assaulted stand directly before the Shop, he threw down the Hat he had in his Hand, and leaving his Money upon the Counter, bolted out of the Door; but the _Englishman_ immediately alarm'd the whole Street, and the Rogue was taken and carried before a Magistrate. In the mean time I was sent for to assist the _Englishman_ in the Narrative of this Fact. At first the Foot-pad denied he ever saw the Person, and as for the Money it cou'd not be sworn too; but the Box with little Roman Pieces being found upon him, he cou'd not stand that Proof, besides, it appears he can give no Account where he was the Evening of the Robbery, and the Innkeeper upon the Road, is positive he was one of the Persons which pass'd by his House that Evening; and to compleat all, several Persons who came in to see him out of Curiosity, depos'd, that he is very like the Man, by Description, has follow'd that Road several Years. To conclude, the _Englishman_ only stays in Town now to be Witness against this _Malhoneux_. Hanging is certainly his Doom; but if other Suspicions are made out, of his being that noted Offender, who had infested the Road for a considerable Time, it will be his Fate to be broke upon the Wheel. However, the _Englishman_ has recover'd most of his Money, but he will be forc'd to expend it on Charges; but I will see to ease him in that Point. I was very much edify'd with this Clergyman's Generous and Christian Temper in being obliging and endeavouring to do good to every Body. But now the Time drew near that we were to leave _Lyons_, we had but one Day more to stay, and that the _Irish_ Prebendary challenged to himself, desiring I and my Companions would accept of a small Treat and Dine with him. We had every thing that was good in its kind, but he wou'd not press his Wine upon us, for the Churchman's Character, was not to be Sacrific'd to the Soldiers Appetite; for he who urges the Glass too far, if he is not himself suspected of Insobriety, is certainly obnoxious to the immoral Part of the Ceremony.