CHAPTER XIV

The winter came on severe and cold. Mrs Harley was forbidden to expose herself to the frosty air, which seemed to invigorate my languid frame. I was constituted her almoner, to distribute to the neighbouring poor the scanty portion, which she was enabled, by a rigid oeconomy, to spare from her little income: yet the value of this distribution had been more than redoubled, by the gentler charities of kind accents, tender sympathy, and wholesome counsels. To these indigent, but industrious, cottagers, I studied to be the worthy representative of their amiable benefactress, and found my reward in their grateful attachment, and the approving smiles of my friend.

By degrees, she ventured to converse with me on the subject nearest her heart--the situation of her son. He had been obliged to yield to the proofs produced of his marriage, which he had, at first, seemed desirous of evading. He had written, with reserve, upon the subject to his mother; but, from the enquiries of a common friend, she had reason to apprehend, that his engagement had been of an imprudent nature. Two children, were, already the fruits of it: the mother, with a feminine helplessness of character, had a feeble constitution. The small fortune, which Augustus had originally shared with his family, was greatly reduced. His education and habits had unfitted him for those exertions which the support of an encreasing family necessarily required:--his spirits (her friend had informed her) seemed broken, and his temper soured. Some efforts had been made to serve him, which his lofty spirit had repelled with disdain.

This narration deeply affected my heart--I had resigned myself to his loss--but the idea of his suffering, I felt, was an evil infinitely severer. It was this conviction that preyed incessantly on the peace and health of his mother. My fortitude failed, when I would have tried to sustain her; and I could only afford the melancholy satisfaction of mingling my sorrows with her's.

The disorder of my friend rapidly increased--her mind became weakened, and her feelings wayward and irritable. I watched her incessantly--I strove, by every alleviating care, to soften her pains. Towards the approach of spring the symptoms grew more threatening; and it was judged, by her physician, necessary to apprize her family of her immediate danger. What a trial for my exhausted heart! I traced, with a trembling hand, a line to this melancholy purpose--addressed it to Mr Harley, and through him to his younger brothers and sisters.

In a few days they arrived in the village--sending from the inn a servant, to prepare their mother for their approach. I gently intimated to her the visitants we might expect. The previous evening, a change had taken place, which indicated approaching dissolution; and her mind (not uncommon in similar cases) seemed, almost instantaneously, to have recovered a portion of its original strength. She sighed deeply, while her eyes, which were fixed wistfully on my face, were lighted with a bright, but transient, lustre.

'My dear Emma,' said she, 'this is a trying moment for us both. I shall soon close my eyes, for ever, upon all worldly cares.--Still cherish, in your pure and ingenuous mind, a friendship for my Augustus--the darling of my soul! He may, in future, stand in need of consolation. I had formed hopes--vain hopes!--in which you and he were equally concerned. In the happiness of this partially-favoured child--this idol of my affections--all mine was concentrated. He has disappointed me, and I have lost the desire of living--Yet, he has noble qualities!--Who, alas! is perfect? Summon your fortitude, collect your powers, my child, for this interview!'

She sunk on her pillow--I answered her only with my tears. A servant entered--but spoke not--her look announced her tidings--It caught the eye of Mrs Harley--

'Let them enter,' said she; and she raised herself, to receive them, and assumed an aspect of composure.

I covered my face with my handkerchief--I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the bed--I heard the murmurs of filial sorrow--The voice of Augustus, in low and interrupted accents, struck upon my ear--it thrilled through my nerves--I shuddered, involuntarily--What a moment! My friend spoke a few words, in a faint tone.

'My children,' she added, 'repay to this dear girl,' laying her hand upon mine, 'the debt of kindness I owe her--she has smoothed the pillow of death--she is an orphan--she is tender and unfortunate.'

I ventured to remove for a moment the handkerchief from my eyes--they met those of Augustus--he was kneeling by the bed-side--his countenance was wan, and every feature sunk in dejection; a shivering crept through my veins, and chilled my heart with a sensation of icy coldness--he removed his eyes, fixing them on his dying mother.

'My son,' she resumed, in still fainter accents, 'behold in Emma, your sister--_your friend!_--confide in her--she is worthy of your confidence!'--'Will you not love him, my child,'--(gazing upon me,)--'with a sisterly affection?'

I hid my face upon the pillow of my friend--I threw my arms around her--'Your request is superfluous, my friend, my more than parent, _ah, how superfluous_!'

'Forgive me, I know the tenderness of your nature--yielding, in these parting moments, to the predominant affection of my heart--I fear, I have wounded that tender nature.' 'Farewell, my children! Love and assist each other--Augustus, where is your hand?--my sight fails me--God bless you and your little ones--_God bless you all_!--My last sigh--my last prayer--is yours.'

Exhausted by these efforts, she fainted--Augustus uttered a deep groan, and raised her in his arms--but life was fled.

At the remembrance of these scenes, even at this period, my heart is melted within me.

What is there of mournful magic in the emotions of virtuous sorrow, that in retracing, in dwelling upon them, mingles with our tears a sad and sublime rapture? Nature, that has infused so much misery into the cup of human life, has kindly mixed this strange and mysterious ingredient to qualify the bitter draught.