Part 2

Hitherto we have only discovered to you the Ordinary Physicians conjecturing Compass, whereby he steers his Course, to arrive to the Knowledge of his Patients Diseases: There yet remains we should unlock the other Ventricle of his Brain, to behold the Subtilty of his Fancy in groaping at the Causes of Diseases, which, tho' the Poet declares (_Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas_) to be cloathed with the darkest Clouds, yet by the Virtue of this following Principle, aims at this Mark immediately, _viz._ That most Diseases are caus'd by Choler, Phlegm, Melancholy, or abundance of Blood: Of these, two are suppos'd to be hot, namely, Choler, and abundance of Blood, and the other two cold, to wit, Phlegm, and Melancholy, and consequently Causes of hot and cold Diseases: These four Universals being reduced to two general Categories; under the Notion of hot and cold, any one having but the Sense of distinguishing Winter from Summer, may, in the Time of an _Hixius Doxius_, instantly appoint a Cause for almost every Disease: So that a Patient discovering his Trouble, it may be a want of Stomach, bad Digesture, Fainting, Cough, Difficulty of breathing, Giddiness, Palsy, _&c._ his Vulgar Physician has no more to do, but take him by the Fist, to feel whether he be hot or cold; if he finds him cold, then summons in his old Causes, Phlegm, and Melancholy; which ready, and quick pronouncing of the Cause upon a meer Touch, doth almost stupify your Patient, thro' Admiration of _AEsculapian_ Oracle, hitting him in the right Vein to a hair's breadth: For, quoth he, indeed, Mr. Doctor, I think you understand my Distemper exceedingly well, and have infallibly found out the Cause; for every Morning as soon as I awake, I spit such a deal of Phlegm, and moreover, I must confess my self extreamly given to Melancholy. This jumping in Opinions between them, makes Mr. Doctor swell with Expectation of a large Fee, which the Patient most freely forces on him, and so the Fool and his Monies are soon parted. Now it's two to one but both are disappointed, the one in his unexperienced Judgment, t'other in his fond Belief; for, state the Case, the Disease takes its Growth from Choler, or abundance of Blood, or any other internal Cause; there is scarce one in a hundred that are indispos'd, who is not subject to hauk and spit in the Morning, and being reduc'd to Weakness, by reason of his Trouble, must necessarily be heavy in the Passions of the Mind, and incident to melancholy Thoughts, through the Memory of his Mortality, occasion'd by this Infirmity: So that, seldom Mirth and Cheerfulness are housed in indispos'd Bodies, because they are deficient of that abundance of Light, and clear Spirits, required to produce them. No Wonder the Vulgar is so opinionated in the Affair of their Temperament, when belabour'd with a Disease; since in their healthful State, it's impossible for a Physician to engage their Opinion otherwise, than to believe themselves phlegmatick and melancholy.

To return to the Point of declaring how the Vulgar strives even with Violence to be cheated, not in their Purses only, but in their Fancies and Opinion; and in this Particular, our Women are so violent eager, that if the Vulgar Physician can but make a true Sound upon the Treble of their Fancy, will produce such a Harmony as shall sound his Praise through City and Country; and without those Female-Instruments, or She-Trumpets, it's almost impossible for a Vulgarist to arrive to a famous Report, who having once by his Tongue-Harmony inchanted the Woman, doth by the same Cheat subject the Opinion of Man to his Advantage, Women generally usurping, and impropriating the Affair of their Husbands Health to their own Management; for if a Man chance to be surpriz'd with Sickness, he presently asks his Wife what Doctor he shall send to, who instantly gives her Direction to him that had her by the Nose last. In this Piece of Subtilty, the Doctor shews him self no less cunning than the Serpent in _Genesis_, who, to cheat _Adam_, thought it expedient first to deceive _Eve_.

Now without any further Preamble, I must tell you the Humour many a sick Woman delights to be coaks'd in by the Ordinary Physician, _viz._ She loves to be told she is very melancholy, tho' of never so merry a Composure, and in that Part of the Litany, Mr. Doctor is a perfect Reader; for a Woman making Complaint she is troubled with Drowsiness, want of Stomach, Cough, or any other Distemper; he answers her, she is in an ill State, and troubled with great and dangerous Diseases, and all engender'd by Melancholy; and then tells her over again, she is very melancholy, and, saith he, probably occasion'd by coarse Treats at Home, or some Unkindness of Friends, which makes the poor Heart put Fingers in her Eye, and force a deep Sigh or two; and all this possibly for being deny'd the extravagant Charge of a Tea-Equipage, or a new Gown on a _May_-Day; which being refresh'd in her Memory, doth certainly assure her, the Impression of that Melancholy to be the Original of her Trouble, tho' some Months or Years past, especially since her Physician discovers to her so much: And for so doing, admires him no less, intending withal to give him an ample Testimony to the World of the Doctor's great Skill: But this is not all, he pursues his Business, looks into her Eyes, where 'spying a small Wrinkle or two in the inward or lesser Angle, he tells her, she has had a Child or two, namely, a Boy, or a Girl, according to the Place of the aforesaid Wrinkle in the right or left inward Angle; thence perswades her, that at her last lying in, her Midwife did not perform her Office skilfully, or did not lay her well, whereby she receiv'd a great deal of Prejudice, as Cold, Wrenching, displacing of the _Matrix_, &c. Which Instance squaring with the premeditated Sense and Opinion of his She-Patient, (most Women, though never so well accommodated in their Labour, being prone to call the Behaviour of their Midwife in Question) he hath now produced a far greater Confidence than before: And last of all, to compleat his Work now at the going off of his gull'd Patient, of rendring her Thoughts, Opinion, and Confidence, Vassals to his Service, Fame, and Advantage, makes one Overture more, of a great Cause of some of her Symptoms, declaring to her, she is much subject to Fits of the Mother, occasioning a Choaking in her Throat, and herein they also jump in their Sentiments; scarce one Woman in an hundred but one time or other is assaulted by those Uterin Steams, especially upon a Tempest of any of the Passions of Fright, Fret, Anger, Love, _&c._

If I have reproached the Vulgar Physician for executing his Employ with so little Ingenuity, far greater Reason may move me to condemn the Water-gazer, who by the Steams of the Urine, pretends to gratify his Patient's nice Curiosity, of being resolv'd what was, what is, and what Disease is to come; and what is more, some by their great Cunning aiming to discover as much by the Urinal, as the Astrologer by the Globe. The Fame unto which the _English_ Doctor, who some Years ago residing at _Leyden_, promoted himself by his wonderful Sagacity in Urins, is not unworthy of your Note, hundreds, or rather thousands repairing to this stupendious Oracle, to have the State of their Bodies describ'd by Urine. But when I relate to you the first Means that gave Birth to our Countryman's Repute, I shall soon remove your Passion of admiring him. Upon his Arrival at the Place aforemention'd, he had in his Company a bold Fellow, that haunted the most noted Taverns and Tap-houses, who by way of Discourse divulg'd the good Fortune that was happened to the Town, by the Arrival of an _English_ Doctor, whose great Learning, and particular Skill in Urins, would soon render him famous to all the Inhabitants. This being pronounced with a Confidence suitable to the Subject, occasion'd three sick Scholars (two Hecticks, one Hydropical) then present, to make Trial of the Truth of his Words; the next Morning, agreeing to mix all their Urins in one Urinal, and commit the Carriage of it to him that was dropsical. In the Interim, the Doctor advertis'd of it by his Companion, which made him so skilful, that when the Hydropical Scholar presented him with the Urinal, to know the State of his diseased Body, he soon gravely reply'd, that he observed three Urins in this one Urinal, whereof the two lowermost Parts of the Urin, appear'd to him to be consumptive, and the third that floated at top dropsical, and with all, that their Conditions were desperate, and at the Expiration of six Months they should be all lodg'd in their Graves. This admirable Dexterity of discerning Diseases by the Urinal, was soon proclaim'd by the Scholars themselves, who all having finish'd the Course of their Lives, within the Time prefix'd, proved an undoubted Argument of his unparallel'd Parts in the Art of Physick, which immediately procur'd him an incredible Concourse of People for many Years together.

Another Instance of a Woman whose Husband had a Bruise by a Fall down Stairs, carry'd his Urin to the Urin casting Doctor in _Moor-fields_, who pretended likewise to be a Conjurer; he (after shaking) seeing little Specks of Blood float in it, had so much Understanding to tell her, that the Party had receiv'd some internal Hurt; the Woman agreed to this as Truth, but demanding by what Means he came by it: Upon this he erected a Scheme, and in the mean time asked her so many Questions, that by the Drift of her Discourse, he gather'd that he had tumbled down Stairs: The Woman not minding well what she had said, (in the Consternation she was in at the hard Words he had utter'd) suppossing he was conjuring up the Devil, to be resolv'd in the Matter, told her own Words in a different Title; the Woman acknowledged it true, with some Admiration, but desir'd to know how many Pair of Stairs he might fall down? She had told him before where she liv'd (and he considering the Place chiefly consisted of low Buildings) answer'd, two Pair. Nay, now said she, you are out in your Art, he fell three Story I'll promise. This put our Doctor to his Trumps, when having mused a while for an Excuse, he shook the Urinal again, and asked her if there was all the Water her Husband had made? No, reply'd she, I spilt a little in pouring it in. O ho, did you so? said he: Why that, Woman, was the Business that made me mistake, for there went away the other Pair of Stairs in the Urin you spilt.

I shall but trouble you with another Instance, which explodes this Cheat, of what happened in the early Practice of the fam'd Dr. _Radcliff_ when at _Oxford_; of a Country Woman that brought to him her Husband's Urin in a Glass-Bottle, very carefully cork'd up; and after a low Courtesy, presented the Bottle, desiring the Doctor to send a Remedy for her Husband, who then lay very ill: The Doctor observing the Simplicity of this Woman, put no other Question, but of what Profession or Trade her Husband was of? Who reply'd, a Shoemaker: At which he pours forth the Urin in a Basin then by him, and after he had supply'd it with a like Quantity of his own, he gives it her, and says, Good Woman, carry this to your Husband, and bid him fit me with a Pair of Boots: but she replying, Her Husband must first take Measure; to which he return'd, The Shoemaker might as well judge by the Urinal the fitting of his Leg, as he in that of his Distemper. That the Effects of Confederacy in promoting a Physician to a popular Vogue, are as powerful as sinister and disingenuous, may not only be deduced from the aforesaid Naratives, but from the common Design of vulgar Empericks, who to raise their Fame as high as a Pyramid, send forth several prating Fellows into all publick Places, Taverns, Coffee-houses, and Ale-houses, to publish their vast Abilities, expecting with that Bait to hook in as many Patients as will swallow it. Others are no less skill'd in counterfeiting their great Practice, by causing their Apothecaries, or others, to call them out of the Church at an Afternoon Sermon, to hasten Post to a suborn'd Patient, to the Intent the World be advertis'd of the weighty Business this Doctor is concern'd in. Others by their Equipage, eminent Houses, and occasioning one and the same Patient, to repair needlesly to them twenty or thirty times, manifest a Decoy even taken Notice of by the Vulgar. These few disingenuous Ways, do here purposely bring on Board, omitting many others, to convince the Publick, that the only Means for a Physician to advance himself honourably to Practice, is by discovering his real Abilities in curing Diseases, by quick, certain, and pleasant Medicines; and therefore nothing should render his Parts more suspicious than by attempting their Discovery by such fallacious and ignoble Devices; for certainly the Conclusion is most sophistical, that because this Doctor is drawn in his Coach, t'other rides on Horseback, or another hath his Lacquey at his Heels, therefore he must be excellently qualify'd in his Profession, but _Vulgus vult decipi_.

If I now describe, by way of Advice to those that are entering upon the Study of this divine Art, the Method of attaining to a Point of Excellency in it, and that may serve our Vulgar for a better Rule to distinguish their Qualifications by the Course they have passed through; for it is most necessarily requisite, our young Student should be perfectly instructed in the _Latin_ and _Greek_ Tongues, being the Universal Keys to unlock all those Arts and Sciences, and no less a Grace to the future Physicians. In this Particular, many of our Embryonated Physicians, that have of late Years transported themselves to _Leyden_, and _Utrecht_, to purchase a Degree, have been found very defective; insomuch, that I have heard the Professors condemn several of them for their shameful Imperfection in that which is so great an Ornament, and of so absolute an Use in the Study of Physick: Neither can less be suspected of some of the more aged Vulgar Physicians, making Choice to manage their Consultations in the Vulgar Tongue. _Secondly_, Being thus qualify'd for a Student, he ought to apply himself close to the Study of Phylosophy, for which, _Oxford_ and _Cambridge_ may justly challenge a Pre-eminence above other Universities: Here it is our Student learns to speak like a Scholar, and is inform'd in the Principles of Nature, and the Constitutions of Natural Bodies; and so receiving a rough Draught in his Mind, is to be accomplish'd by that excellent Science of Human Bodies. But because, according to the first Aphorism of the first Master _Hippocrates_, Art is long, and Life short, he ought to engage his Diligence to absolve his Philosophical Course in two Years at longest, and in the interim, for his Recreation and Divertisement, enter himself Scholar to the Gardiner of the Physick-Garden, to be acquainted with the Foetures of Plants, but particularly with those that are familiarly prescrib'd by Practitioners, to prevent being outwitted by Herb-women in the Markets, and to enable him to give a better Answer, than is said once of a Physician, who having prescrib'd _Maiden-hair_ in his Bill, the Apothecary asked which Sort he meant; t'other reply'd, some of the Locks of a Virgin. _Thirdly_, Supposing our Student having made sufficient Progress in Philosophy, may now pass to _Leyden_, and may enter himself into a _Collegium Anatomicum_, Anatomy being the Basis and Foundation whereon the weighty Structure of Physick is to be raised; and unless he acquires more than ordinary Knowledge and Dexterity in this, will certainly be deceiv'd in the Expectation of ever arriving to the Honour of an accomplish'd Physician: A Proficiency in that Part fits him for a _Collegium Medicum Institutionum_, and afterward for a _Collegium Practicum_, and then 'tis requisite he should embrace the Opportunity of visiting the Sick in the Hospital twice a Week with the Physick-Professor, where he shall examine those Patients with all the Exactness imaginable, and point at every Disease, its Symptoms, as it were, with his Fingers, and afterward propose several Cases upon those Distempers, demanding from every young Student his Opinion, and his Grounds, and his Reasons for it; withal requiring of him what Course of Physick is best to be prescrib'd: This is the only Way for a young Physician to attain a Habit of knowing Diseases when he seeth them; and a confident Method of curing those that may repair to him, without running the Hazard of being censured by Apothecaries, or derided by them for his Bills, as too many are, that at _Oxford_ or _Cambridge_ have only imbib'd a Part of _Senuert_'s Institutions, and overlook'd _Riverius_'s Practice, and thence attaining an imperfect and unhappy Skill, by enlarging the Church-yards in the City or Country; but what is more, he shall escape the Danger a young Student I formerly knew at _Oxford_ precipitated himself into, by imagining every Disease he read was his own. I must likewise advise our Student to take his Lodgings there at an able Apothecary's House, to contract the Knowledge of Drugs, and of preparing, dispensing, and mixing them in Compositions, and then by Means of his own Qualifications, may boldly pretend to inform, correct, and improve those Apothecaries which the Chance of his Practice shall conduct him to; for it would be judged ridiculous, should a Physician undertake to reprehend, and afterwards bend his Force to suppress and decry Apothecaries privately or publickly, without having first acquired a particular Experience in their Art. Hence it is again the Vulgar Physician is wrapped up in a Cloud, and the Apothecaries dance round about him; he prescribes Medicines he never saw; they prepare them according to their own Will and Pleasure.

Neither is it over these alone the Physician claims a Superintendance, but over Chirurgeons likewise; and therefore in this his Course of Study, would contribute to his future Qualifications, in sojourning a Year with some experienc'd manual Operator, without a Hindrance to his other Affair, and there by an ocular Inspection, and handling of his Instruments, demanding their Names, Uses, and Manner of using, withal by Insinuations to visit the Chirurgical Patients, and see him dress them, would render his Study in Chirurgery, so plain and easy, which otherwise might be thought difficult, that it should enable him to give Laws to Chirurgeons also, especially to those that execute their Office with that Rashness, Indiscretion and Dishonesty as I have sometime discover'd amongst them.

These two Years giving occasion to our Student to acquire a System, or a brief Comprehension of the Theory of Physick, and of the Practice likewise: Nothing now remains than to amplify his commenc'd Knowledge and Experience by his farther Travels; to which End, takes his Journey to _Paris_, to be acquainted with the most famous Physicians, and to be inform'd of their Way of Practice, by surveying their Prescripts at the most frequented Apothecaries, to visit for a Year every Day the Hospitals of _l'Hostel Dieu_, and _la Charite_; in which latter, it is customary, for any three or four young Physicians to examine and overlook the new enter'd Patients, to name the Distempers among themselves, and propose their Cures, for to compare their Opinions afterwards with the Physicians that are appointed for the Hospital, and where he may see most difficult Operations perform'd in Chirurgery, as Trypaning, Amputating, Cutting for the Stone, Tapping of the Belly and Breast with the greatest Dexterity. Here he may also observe Wounds and Ulcers cured by Virtue of those famed Waters, _viz._ the White Water, and the Yellow Water; the former being _Aqua Calcis_, the latter the same, with an Addition of _Sublimate_.

The Art of preparing Medicines chymically, having merited a great Esteem for its stupendious and admirable Effects in the most despair'd Diseases, shews a Necessity of being instructed in it, in which he can not fail of prying into, in the Course of his Travels.

Having attained his Scope in this Place, his Curiosity ought to direct him to _Montpellier_, where he will meet with a Concourse of the greatest Proficients in Physick in _Europe_, converse with the Professors and Physicians of that Place, and out of 'em all, extract choice Observations, Secrets, and most subtle Opinions upon several Diseases, which Design can scarce be compassed in less than another Year. Now we must suppose our Student to merit the Title of an experienc'd Physician, and raised far above the Vulgar ones, that never felt the Cold beyond the Chimneys of their own Homes: He is now render'd capable of understanding the greatest Mysteries, and most acute Opinions in Physick, which he is chiefly to expect from those reputed Professors of the _Albo_ at _Padua_, where he is likewise to continue his Diligence in visiting the famed Hospital of _San Lorenzo_, and observe the _Italian_ Method of curing Diseases by alterative Broths, without purging or bleeding, that Climate seldom suffering Plethories in those dry Bodies: He cannot but be wonderfully pleased with the Variety and excellent Order of the Plants of their Physick Garden, by them call'd _Horto di Sempleci_. Neither will he receive less Satisfaction from the curious and most dextrous Dissections perform'd by the artificial Hand of the Anatomy Professor. Having here made his Abode for six Months, may justly aspire to a Degree of a Doctor in Physick, which the Fame of the Place should persuade him to take here, being the Imperial University for Physick of all others in the World, and where Physicians do pass a very exact Scrutiny, and severe Test. Hence may he transport himself to _Bologn_, and in three Months time add to his Improvements what is possible by the Advantage of the Hospital, and the Professors. Last of all, in the Imitation of the diligent Bee sucking Honey out of all sweet Flowers, our Doctor must not neglect to extract something that his Knowledge did not partake of before, out of the eminentest Practitioners at _Rome_, examine the chief Apothecaries Files, and still frequent those three renown'd Hospitals of _San Spirito_ in the _Vatican_, _San Giovanni Laterano_ on the Mount _Celio_, and that of _San Giacomo di Augusta_ in the Valley _Martia_, besides many others of less Note.

Here may he see the Rarities and Antiquities of this once renowned Empress of the World, from whence he may visit the renowned City of _Naples_, and take a Survey of the Antiquities of the Nature of _Pazzoli_.

Having thus in all Particulars satisfied his Curiosity, may consult about the most advantageous Ways homeward, which is to embark for _Leghorn_, or _Genoa_, where he cannot fail of _English_ Shipping.

Or else may take a Tour by Land to _Milan_, where he will see the finest Hospital, and the strongest Citadel in _Europe_. Hence passes the _Alpes_, and that stupendous Mount St. _Godart_, through _Altorph_, and _Lucern_, and thence to _Bazil_, the chief of the Protestant _Cantons_, so by Boat down the River _Rhine_ to _Strasburgh_, and _Heydelbergh_, _Manheim_, and so down the _Rhine_ to _Coblentz_, _Audernach_ and _Collen_, then by Land to _Brussels_, _Ghant_, _Ostend_, _Newport_, and _Dunkirk_, _Gravelin_, and _Calais_: And thence to the Place of his Inclinations for his future Settlement, where, by his vast Experience and Knowledge, being render'd conspicuous in the secure and certain Method of his Cures, will soon give Occasion to the People to discern the Difference between him and the ordinary vulgar Physicians, who by their sordid Deports, and dangerous Practice, make it their Business to ease the blind People of the Weight in their Pockets, and plague them in worse Diseases.