Chapter 3

_Enter LUCIO and two _Gentlemen_._

_Lucio._ If the duke, with the other dukes, come not to composition with the King of Hungary, why then all the dukes fall upon the king.

_First Gent._ Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of Hungary's! 5

_Sec. Gent._ Amen.

_Lucio._ Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped one out of the table.

_Sec. Gent._ 'Thou shalt not steal'? 10

_Lucio._ Ay, that he razed.

_First Gent._ Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and all the rest from their functions: they put forth to steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition well that 15 prays for peace.

_Sec. Gent._ I never heard any soldier dislike it.

_Lucio._ I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where grace was said.

_Sec. Gent._ No? a dozen times at least. 20

_First Gent._ What, in metre?

_Lucio._ In any proportion or in any language.

_First Gent._ I think, or in any religion.

_Lucio._ Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a wicked 25 villain, despite of all grace.

_First Gent._ Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.

_Lucio._ I grant; as there may between the lists and the velvet. Thou art the list. 30

_First Gent._ And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt a three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief be a list of an English kersey, as be piled, as thou art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak feelingly now?

_Lucio._ I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful 35 feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I live, forget to drink after thee.

_First Gent._ I think I have done myself wrong, have I not? 40

_Sec. Gent._ Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free.

_Lucio._ Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes! I have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to-- 45

_Sec. Gent._ To what, I pray?

_Lucio._ Judge.

_Sec. Gent._ To three thousand dolours a year.

_First Gent._ Ay, and more.

_Lucio._ A French crown more. 50

_First Gent._ Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou art full of error; I am sound.

_Lucio._ Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow; impiety has made a feast of thee. 55

_Enter MISTRESS OVERDONE._

_First Gent._ How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?

_Mrs Ov._ Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and carried to prison was worth five thousand of you all.

_Sec. Gent._ Who's that, I pray thee? 60

_Mrs Ov._ Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.

_First Gent._ Claudio to prison? 'tis not so.

_Mrs Ov._ Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested; saw him carried away; and, which is more, within these three days his head to be chopped off. 65

_Lucio._ But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so. Art thou sure of this?

_Mrs Ov._ I am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam Julietta with child.

_Lucio._ Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet 70 me two hours since, and he was ever precise in promise-keeping.

_Sec. Gent._ Besides, you know, it draws something near to the speech we had to such a purpose.

_First Gent._ But, most of all, agreeing with the proclamation. 75

_Lucio._ Away! let's go learn the truth of it.

[_Exeunt Lucio and Gentlemen._

_Mrs Ov._ Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what with the gallows, and what with poverty, I am custom-shrunk. 80

_Enter POMPEY._

How now! what's the news with you?

_Pom._ Yonder man is carried to prison.

_Mrs Ov._ Well; what has he done?

_Pom._ A woman.

_Mrs Ov._ But what's his offence? 85

_Pom._ Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

_Mrs Ov._ What, is there a maid with child by him?

_Pom._ No, but there's a woman with maid by him. You have not heard of the proclamation, have you?

_Mrs Ov._ What proclamation, man? 90

_Pom._ All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.

_Mrs Ov._ And what shall become of those in the city?

_Pom._ They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too, but that a wise burgher put in for them. 95

_Mrs Ov._ But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be pulled down?

_Pom._ To the ground, mistress.

_Mrs Ov._ Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth! What shall become of me? 100

_Pom._ Come; fear not you: good counsellors lack no clients: though you change your place, you need not change your trade; I'll be your tapster still. Courage! there will be pity taken on you: you that have worn your eyes almost out in the service, you will be considered. 105

_Mrs Ov._ What's to do here, Thomas tapster? let's withdraw.

_Pom._ Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to prison; and there's Madam Juliet. [_Exeunt._

_Enter PROVOST, CLAUDIO, JULIET, and _Officers_._

_Claud._ Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world? 110 Bear me to prison, where I am committed.

_Prov._ I do it not in evil disposition, But from Lord Angelo by special charge.

_Claud._ Thus can the demigod Authority Make us pay down for our offence by weight 115 The words of heaven;--on whom it will, it will; On whom it will not, so; yet still 'tis just.

_Re-enter LUCIO and two _Gentlemen_._

_Lucio._ Why, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?

_Claud._ From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty: As surfeit is the father of much fast, 120 So every scope by the immoderate use Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue, Like rats that ravin down their proper bane, A thirsty evil; and when we drink we die.

_Lucio._ If I could speak so wisely under an arrest, I 125 would send for certain of my creditors: and yet, to say the truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom as the morality of imprisonment. What's thy offence, Claudio?

_Claud._ What but to speak of would offend again.

_Lucio._ What, is't murder? 130

_Claud._ No.

_Lucio._ Lechery?

_Claud._ Call it so.

_Prov._ Away, sir! you must go.

_Claud._ One word, good friend. Lucio, a word with you. 135

_Lucio._ A hundred, if they'll do you any good. Is lechery so look'd after?

_Claud._ Thus stands it with me:--upon a true contract I got possession of Julietta's bed: You know the lady; she is fast my wife, 140 Save that we do the denunciation lack Of outward order: this we came not to, Only for propagation of a dower Remaining in the coffer of her friends; From whom we thought it meet to hide our love 145 Till time had made them for us. But it chances The stealth of our most mutual entertainment With character too gross is writ on Juliet.

_Lucio._ With child, perhaps?

_Claud._ Unhappily, even so. And the new Deputy now for the Duke,-- 150 Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness, Or whether that the body public be A horse whereon the governor doth ride, Who, newly in the seat, that it may know He can command, lets it straight feel the spur; 155 Whether the tyranny be in his place, Or in his eminence that fills it up. I stagger in:--but this new governor Awakes me all the enrolled penalties Which have, like unscour'd armour, hung by the wall So long, that nineteen zodiacs have gone round, And none of them been worn; and, for a name, Now puts the drowsy and neglected act Freshly on me: 'tis surely for a name.

_Lucio._ I warrant it is: and thy head stands so tickle 165 on thy shoulders, that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off. Send after the duke, and appeal to him.

_Claud._ I have done so, but he's not to be found. I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service: This day my sister should the cloister enter 170 And there receive her approbation: Acquaint her with the danger of my state; Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him: I have great hope in that; for in her youth 175 There is a prone and speechless dialect, Such as move men; beside, she hath prosperous art When she will play with reason and discourse, And well she can persuade.

_Lucio._ I pray she may; as well for the encouragement 180 of the like, which else would stand under grievous imposition, as for the enjoying of thy life, who I would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a game of tick-tack. I'll to her.

_Claud._ I thank you, good friend Lucio. 185

_Lucio._ Within two hours.

_Claud._ Come, officer, away!

[_Exeunt._

NOTES: I, 2.