CHAPTER XLIV

SELF-HELP AND OBSERVATION

TO the uninstructed, socially, the bare rules and conventions regulating social life seem often meaningless and arbitrary. A careful consideration of these conventions, such as it has been the aim of this book to give, shows that no one of them is without a reason for its being. The classification, however, of social forms, together with the reasons governing these forms, does not provide a body of knowledge sufficient to serve as guide in the matter of comporting one’s self easily and to advantage socially. There are many situations and points of behavior that it is impossible for a book of etiquette to cover. The laws laid down are only a small social capital. They discuss the more obvious matters of social contact. Numerous points,—and these of the finer sort,—must be left without comment. In the treatment of these points and problems the person desirous of solving them properly must rely largely on his own good sense. One must apply to social exigencies the same methods of reasoning that one applies in meeting the other exigencies of life. In a word, one must resort to the principle of self-help.

[Sidenote: LEARN BY OBSERVATION]

Much, too, and this in the pleasantest fashion, may be done to extend one’s knowledge of good form by observation of people who have unusual tact and social discrimination. In every city, town and village, there are such persons who are distinguished above their fellow citizens by social instinct, by the talent for performing gracefully and acceptably the offices of society. In differing degrees, but still perceptibly, these people, like the painter, the musician, the poet, are marked by a taste and a thirst for perfection. To render social life as interesting, as charming, as beautiful as possible, to make the social machinery run smoothly and without friction,—this is their aim. Such people give quality to social intercourse. They observe the little amenities of life with grace. They know how to enter a room and how to leave it. They convey by the bow with which they greet one on the street the proper degree of acquaintanceship or friendship. They dress with propriety. They take time by the forelock in the adoption of new devices for the entertainment of their friends. Their parties are the prettiest; their houses are the most popular. Not necessarily clever of speech, they are clever in small and charming activities. They have a marked talent for all the little graces that make social intercourse easy and delightful. This talent, of course, can not be communicated, but much may be learned by watching its operation. Certainly one can gain from it a knowledge of particulars, of how to perform certain definite acts, even if the conquest of the method is impossible.

It is not difficult in any community to discover people who approach more or less nearly the type described. They have a recognized distinction. To watch them, and, by this means, to wrest from them a part at least of their secret, is the surest way for the individual, timid or unversed socially, to discover his own social power and to increase it.

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[Sidenote: TRIFLES MAKE PERFECTION]

[Sidenote: THE UNIFORMITY OF CUSTOM]

Doubtless some of those who read this book may be disposed to ask why, in social life, so much stress is laid on comparatively small matters and why one can not do as one pleases? To these we recommend Gilbert Hamerton’s delightful essay, _Custom and Tradition_, addressed “To a young gentleman who had firmly resolved never to wear anything but a gray coat.” We quote briefly: “The penalties imposed by society for the infraction of very trifling details of custom are often, as it seems, out of all proportion to the offense; but so are the penalties of nature.... Nature _will_ be obeyed. Society will be obeyed.... Society does not desire to exclude you because you will not wear evening dress; but the dress is customary, and your exclusion is merely a consequence of your non-conformity. The view of society goes no farther in this than the artistic conception (not very delicately artistic, perhaps) that it is prettier to see men in black coats regularly placed between ladies round a dinner-table than men in gray coats or brown coats. The uniformity of custom appears to represent uniformity of sentiment.... Society does not argue the point with you, but only excludes you.”

THE END

INDEX

Abbreviations, 3, 4 Accepting invitations, 183 Accounts, keeping, 391 Acknowledging favors, 410, 411 Acknowledging gifts, 169, 170, 173, 174 Acquaintance between young men and young women, 132 Addressing invitations, 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 Addressing letters, 31 Addressing persons of political prominence, 34, 35 Addressing the nobility, 41 Afternoon receptions, 53, 54 Afternoon receptions, correct dress, 54 Afternoon receptions, refreshments for, 54 After six o’clock, 43 Allowances: children’s weekly sums, 395 Allowances, expenditure of, 396, 397, 398 Allowances for charity, 347 Allowances, importance of, 395 Allowances, value of, 396 Anniversaries, 63 Announcements, wedding, 86, 87 Answering letters, 29, 36, 37 Arrival at functions, 56, 57 Asking questions, 401, 402 “At Home” announcement through newspapers, 4 “At Home” days, 17, 18 “At Homes,” invitations to, 2 “At Homes” of brides, 89 Attendants, wedding, 70, 79 Automobiling, etiquette of, 285, 286

Bachelor after-theater supper, 176 Bachelor dinners, 179, 180, 181 Bachelor hospitality: chaperon required, 176 Bachelor hospitality: engaging chaperon for, 177 Bachelor hospitality: form of entertaining, 176 Bachelor hospitality: issuing invitations, 178 Bachelor receptions, 176, 179 Bachelor restaurant supper, 180, 181 Bachelor tea, 176, 178 Bashfulness, 412 Birthday gifts, 171 Boarding-house, etiquette of, 249 Boarding-schools, 113 Boating, etiquette of, 288, 289 Books, care of, 235 Books, borrowing, 235 Bouquets, bridal, 73, 82, 84 Bowing, 240 Box-party, correct seating of, 129 Breakfast, wedding, 71, 72, 75, 76, 84, 85 Bridegroom’s dress, 72, 82 Bride’s dress, 72, 82 Bridesmaid’s dress, 72, 82 Bruskness, 399 Business courtesy, 401 Butler’s dress, 102

Call, who makes first, 25, 26 Callers, refreshments for, 19, 20 Calling after a bereavement, 22 Calling-cards, 4 Calls, 14 Calls: after an invitation has been declined, 24 Calls: “At Home” days, 17, 18 Calls: conversation during, 127 Calls: hours for, 26, 125, 126 Calls: length of, 126 Calls: leaving cards, 18, 19, 20 Calls: on fiancée, 21 Calls, on the sick, 26 Calls, returning, 23 Calls, social obligation of, 17 Calls to offer sympathy, 23 Canoeing, etiquette of, 288, 289 Card-party, the, 56, 57 Cards, 14 Cards, calling, 14 Cards, correspondence, 35 Cards for an “At Home,” 2 Cards for clergymen, 16 Cards for evening reception, 3 Cards for home wedding, 69, 70 Cards for matron, 15 Cards for men, 15 Cards for mourning, 21, 22 Cards for wedding anniversaries, 62 Cards for young women, 15 Cards: style for calling, 14 Cards: when calling, 19, 20 Ceremony, wedding, 74, 75, 80 Chaperon, 145 Chaperon at college parties, 142 Chaperon at theaters, 150 Chaperon, duties of, 147, 148, 149, 150, 177 Chaperon, excursions with, 150 Chaperon, necessity of, 146, 147 Chaperon, obligation to, 147 Chaperon: when traveling, 278, 279 Charity, allowance for, 347 Charity: delicacy in gift-making, 353, 354 Charity, organized methods of, 347, 348, 349 Charity, private, 352, 353 Charity: settlement work, 351, 352 Charity: special fields of, 350, 351 Children, 315 Children at hotels, 254, 255 Children, authority over, 319 Children, behavior of, 318 Children, indulgence to, 316, 317 Children, obedience of, 322 Children, place of, 318 Children, traveling with, 320, 321 Christening gifts, 64, 178 Christening parties, 63, 64 Christmas gifts, 172, 173 Church acquaintances, 330 Church companionship, 330, 331 Church etiquette, 329 Church etiquette: making friends, 331 Church etiquette: pastor and parish, 335 Church etiquette: pew hospitality, 333 Church etiquette: visiting congregations, 335 Church etiquette: welcoming strangers, 331, 332 Clerks and customers, 408 Clerks: courtesy toward, 407 Club, woman’s, 337 Coeducation, 136 Coeducation: “Don’ts” for girls, 140, 141, 142 Coeducation: forming friendships, 138, 139 Coeducation: local etiquette of, 139 Coeducation: social amenities of, 137, 138 College festivities, 142 College slang, 141, 142 Coming out, 120 Coming-out parties, 55, 56 Companionship of one young man, 130, 131 Compliments, profuse, 417 Condolence, 34, 208, 209 Conduct toward guest, 199, 200, 201, 202 Congratulations, 34 Congratulations, wedding, 75, 83, 84 Correspondence cards, 35 Correspondence, value of, 29 Courtesy, 355 Courtesy: aged men, 360, 361, 362 Courtesy due elders, 355 Courtesy: value of deference, 357, 358, 360 Courtesy: value of discrimination, 356, 357 Courtesies: at dance, 128 Courtesies: at theater, 129 Courtesies, young men may pay girls, 128 Criticism, rudeness of, 409 Criticism, tactful, 403, 404

Dance program, 58 Dancing parties, 57, 58 Dancing parties: the hostess, 59 Dean of women, 143, 144 Débutante, 120 Débutante, age of, 121 Débutante, apparel of, 122, 123 Débutante: coming out, 120 Débutante, conduct of, 123, 124 Débutante, significance of, 121, 122 Declining invitations, 8, 9, 10, 11 Dinner coat, 104, 105 Dinner, hour for serving, 99 Dinner parties, 88 Dinner parties: arrival, 107 Dinner parties: choice of guests, 89, 90, 106 Dinner parties: departure, 109 Dinner parties, invitations to, 6, 7, 8, 9, 90 Dinner parties: general suggestions, 89 Dinner parties: leaving dining-room, 108 Dinner parties: leaving drawing-room, 106 Dinner parties: preparations for, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96 Dinner parties: serving, 100, 101 Dinner parties: the small affair, 89 Disagreeableness, 400 Dowry, bride’s, 394 Dress: between seasons, 156 Dress, color in, 161, 162, 163 Dress, consideration of, 154 Dress for balls and dinners, 156 Dress for bride, 72, 82 Dress for bridegroom, 72, 82 Dress for bridesmaids, 72, 82 Dress for business woman, 383, 384 Dress for butler, 102 Dress for christening parties, 64, 105 Dress for church, 166 Dress for house-man, 102 Dress for housework, 372, 373 Dress for maid, 102 Dress for maid of honor, 72, 82 Dress for men at dinner party, 103 Dress for traveling, 270 Dress for ushers, 83 Dress for various occasions, 54-157 Dress for widow, 212 Dress for widow at second marriage, 187 Dress for women at dinner party, 103, 156 Dress: individuality in, 162 Dress: importance of accessories, 159, 160 Dress: its influence on manner, 253 Dress: neatness in, 162, 163 Dress: street gown, 155 Dress: suitable for occasion, 158, 163, 164 Duty of hospitality, 203 Duty of maid, 99, 363 Duty of mistress, 363 Duty to elders, 355

Education of young girl, 111 Embracing, 244 Engaged couple, 60, 61 Engagements, 61 Engagements, announcement of, 61 Engagement gifts, 170 Entertaining at club-house, 65 Entertaining at hotel ballroom, 65 Escorting women, 242, 243 Evening receptions, 53 Exchanging photographs at college, 141 Expenses, wedding, 71

Finances: accounts, 391 Finances: advantages of agreement, 390, 391 Finances: advice to wife, 388, 389 Finances: allowance for wife, 389, 390 Finances: exceeding allowance, 390 Finances: investing wife’s money, 394 Finances: marrying for money, 392, 393 Finances of young married couples, 387 Finances: wife earns allowance, 387, 388 Finger-bowls, use of, 222 Finger nails, 164, 231 First names, use of, 127, 140 Flowers for funerals, 209 Forks, use of, 217, 218 Forms of address, 34, 35, 41 Functions, 52 Functions: afternoon receptions, 53, 54 Functions: anniversaries, 62, 63 Functions: announcing engagements, 61, 62 Functions: christening parties, 63, 64 Functions: coming-out parties, 55, 56 Functions: dancing parties, 57, 58 Functions: dinner parties, 88 Functions: evening receptions, 53 Functions: high tea, 54, 55 Functions: hour for arriving, 56, 57 Functions: how to conduct one’s self, 52, 58, 59, 65 Functions: leaving, 53, 55, 56, 57 Functions: luncheons, 52 Functions: music, 55 Functions: musicale, 57, 66 Funerals, 210, 211, 212

Gifts, 167 Gifts, acknowledging, 169, 170, 173, 174 Gifts, appropriate, 168 Gifts, birthday, 171 Gifts, christening, 171, 172 Gifts, Christmas, 172, 173 Gifts, display of wedding, 84, 170 Gifts for the baby, 171 Gifts for engagements, 170 Gifts for weddings, 167, 168 Gifts for young women, 171 Gifts, lists of, 170 Gifts: marking silver, 168 Girls: advantages of travel for, 116, 117 Girls: boarding-school or college for, 112 Girls: desirability of accomplishments for, 117, 118 Girls: entertaining men in their room, 312, 313 Girls: free and easy behavior, 307 Girls, 306 Girls: impropriety of advances, 310, 311 Girls: jesting, 313, 314 Girls: losing respect, 307 Girls: maidenly dignity, 312 Girls: permitting liberties, 308, 309, 310 Girls: plain talk to, 306 Girls: sending away to school, 111 Gloves, 165 Golf, etiquette of, 282, 283, 284 Grace, saying, 100 Greetings, 414 Guests at hotels, 249 Guests, choice of, 10

Harmony, 421 Hat, lifting of, 238, 239, 411 High tea, 54, 55 Home dinner, 45 Home diversion: planning for, 44, 45, 46 Home diversion: games for, 47 Home, in the, 227 Home, in the: breaches of manner, 237, 238 Home, in the: courtesy, 227, 228, 229 Home, in the: courteous attentions, 229, 233 Home, in the: family table, 229, 230 Home, in the: good taste in speech, 231, 232 Home, in the: politeness essential, 232, 233 Home, in the: recognizing others’ rights, 235, 236 Home, in the: respect for books, 235 Home, in the: respect necessary, 233, 234 Home, in the: well-trained voice, 234 Home party, 47 Home wedding, 69 Home wedding: decorations, 73, 74 Home wedding: invitations to, 69, 70 Home wedding: matter of lights, 70 Home wedding: order of procession, 74, 75 Horseback riding, etiquette of, 289, 290 Hospitality, 201, 202, 203 Hospitality, bachelor, 175 Hospitality, duty of, 203 Hospitality, mutual obligations of, 204 Hospitality, return of, 205 Hospitality to strangers, 206, 207 Hostess at dance, 59 Hostess at table, 217, 223 Hotel, children in, 254, 255 Hotel etiquette, 249 Hotel etiquette: conduct toward waiter, 252 Hotel etiquette: criticizing, 252 Hotel etiquette: dining-room conduct, 251, 252 Hotel etiquette: instructions for guest, 249, 250 Hotel etiquette: loud talking, 250 Hotel etiquette: tipping, 253 Hotel gossip, 255, 256 Hotel intimacies, 257 Hotel, summer, 257 Hotel table, at the, 416 House-man, dress of, 102 House-man, duties of, 103

Ideal society, the, 67 Indulgent parents, 316, 317 Ingratitude, display of, 409 Interest, display of, 402, 403 Introductions, 38 Introductions: an American presented at court, 40, 41 Introductions: clerical, 40 Introductions: man the one presented, 38 Introductions: should be made by host, 41, 42 Introducing a person in a large circle, 39 Introducing a sister or daughter, 39 Introducing one’s husband, 39 Introducing professional men, 42 Introducing two women of about equal age, 40 Invitations, 1 Invitations, acknowledging, 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 Invitations, addressing, 6 Invitations, appreciation of, 409 Invitations, bachelor’s, 178 Invitations, declining, 8, 9, 10 Invitations for an “At Home,” 2 Invitations for bridge, 11 Invitations for card-parties, 5 Invitations for coming-out parties, 56 Invitations for church weddings, 5 Invitations for dances, 5 Invitations for dinners, 6, 7, 8, 9 Invitations for evening receptions, 3 Invitations for garden parties, 11 Invitations for luncheons, 6, 10 Invitations for musicales, 11 Invitations for tea-dance, 11 Invitations for weddings, 5, 69, 70, 78 Invitations in honor of friend, 2 Invitations: issued in name of, 13 Invitations: manner of receiving verbal, 409, 410 Invitations requiring no acceptance note, 1 Invitations: sent after a death, 12 Invitations: without first call having been made, 23, 24 Inviting a visitor, 197-198

Jesting, 313, 314

Leave-taking, a man’s, 135 Leaving cards, 20, 21 Letter-heads, 30 Letter-writing, 27 Letters, answering, 29, 36, 37 Letters: colored letter paper, 29 Letters, dating, 31 Letters: enclosing stamps, 36 Letters, how to write, 27 Letters: interchange of, 130 Letters, length of, 33 Letters: mourning stationery, 30 Letters of condolence, 34, 208, 209 Letters of congratulation, 34 Letters of introduction, 35, 36, 416 Letters: plain white paper, 29 Letters: postal cards, 33 Letters: signatures, 32 Letters: social forms, 29, 30 Letters: wrong way of treating, 28 Listening, value of, 402, 403 Little things, 399 Lunching at a club, 134 Luncheons, 52 Luncheons: the table, 52

Maid, dress of, 102 Maid, duties of, 99 Maid of honor, 70 Maid of honor’s dress, 72, 82 Maid, without a: division of tasks, 376, 377 Maid, without a: dressing for work, 372, 373 Maid, without a: importance of order, 373, 374, 375 Maid, without a: simplicity, 375, 376 Maid, without a: studying housework, 377, 378, 379 Maidenly dignity, 312 Manner, 418 Manner: beginning conversation, 425 Manner: candles of conversation, 422 Manner: harmony, 421 Manner: learn to talk well, 419 Manner: leaving a room, 425 Manner: serenity, 423, 424 Manner: telling a story, 423 Manner: the question form, 420 Manner: violent opinions, 424 Manner of lady toward social inferior, 416 Marketing: ill manners while, 408 Marriage, ceremonies of, 74, 75, 80, 81 Marrying for money, 393 Menu cards, 97, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267 Mistress and maid, 363 Mistress and maid: duty to maid, 356, 366 Mistress and maid: duty to mistress, 366 Mistress and maid: making confidante of maid, 366, 367 Mistress and maid: making friend of maid, 365, 366 Mistress and maid: relations between, 363, 368 Mistress, conduct of, 363, 364 Mourning: attending funerals, 209, 210 Mourning: cards of, 21 Mourning: church funerals, 212 Mourning: closing casket, 210 Mourning: conduct of bereaved, 215 Mourning: extending sympathy, 211, 212 Mourning: flowers, 209 Mourning for men, 214 Mourning: funeral notices, 215 Mourning: home funerals, 210, 211 Mourning, house of, 208 Mourning stationery, appropriate, 21, 22 Mourning, time of, 214, 215 Mourning veil, 212, 213 Mourning: widow’s dress, 212, 213, 214 Mrs. Newlyrich, ambitions of, 294, 295 Mrs. Newlyrich, apparel of, 303 Mrs. Newlyrich: conduct toward servants, 297 Mrs. Newlyrich: engaging servants, 296 Mrs. Newlyrich: forming new acquaintances, 299 Mrs. Newlyrich, house of, 303, 304 Mrs. Newlyrich, husband of, 292, 293, 294 Mrs. Newlyrich, manners of, 298, 299 Mrs. Newlyrich: mastering forms, 300, 301, 302 Mrs. Newlyrich: purse-pride, 294 Mrs. Newlyrich, speech of, 296 Mrs. Newlyrich, social duties of, 291 Music at a reception, 55 Musicale, 57, 66 Music, wedding, 74

Napkin, use of, 217, 222, 224 Neighbors, 323 Neighbors, addressing, 324 Neighbors, courtesy to, 325 Neighbors, familiarity with, 327, 328 Neighbors, higher significance of, 326, 327 Note-writing, as an accomplishment, 130 Notices, funeral, 215

Obedience, children’s, 322 Observation, value of, 427, 428

Paper, letter, 29, 35 Parents, indulgent, 316, 317 Parish, etiquette of, 329 Party calls, 23 Parties, anniversary, 63 Parties, christening, 63, 64 Parties, coming-out, 55, 56 Parties, dancing, 57, 58 Parties, dinner, 88 Parties, gentlemen should attend on ladies, 133, 134 Parties, house, 187 Pastor and parish, 334, 335, 336 Perfect social group, 68 Photographs, exchange of, 141 Politeness in home, 232, 238 Postal cards, use of, 32, 33 Presentation at court, 40-41 Privacy, respect for others’, 235, 236 Public, addressing women in, 243, 245 Public, assisting women in, 242 Public, boarding a car in, 240, 241 Public, bowing in, 240 Public, embracing in, 244 Public, escorting women in, 242, 243 Public, etiquette in, 240, 241 Public, kissing in, 244 Public, lifting hat in, 238, 239 Public, removing hat in, 239 Public, resigning seat in, 241, 242 Public: theater conduct, 245, 246 Purse-pride, 294

Receiving a caller, 126 Receptions, afternoon, 53, 54 Receptions, evening, 53 Receptions, invitations for, 3 Recreation, 43 Refreshments for callers, 19, 20 Refreshments for home wedding, 64 Refreshments for receptions, 64 Restaurant, in the, 259 Restaurant, in the: conduct, 259, 260, 261 Restaurant, in the: menu card, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267 Restaurant, in the: ordering, 259, 260 Returning calls, 23 Rowing, etiquette of, 288, 289 Rudeness, 399 Rules of social life, 426

Self-criticism, 412 Self-help, 426 Serving guests, 101, 102 Settlements, 392 Settlement work, 351 Social favors, asking, 416 Spoon, use of, 220 Sports, etiquette in, 280 Sports, etiquette in: automobiling, 285, 286 Sports, etiquette in: boating, 288, 289 Sports, etiquette in: canoeing, 288, 289 Sports, etiquette in: driving, 289 Sports, etiquette in: golf, 282, 283, 284 Sports, etiquette in: horseback riding, 289, 290 Sports, etiquette in: politeness necessary, 280 Sports, etiquette in: rowing, 288, 289 Sports, etiquette in: swimming, 289 Sports, etiquette in: tennis, 286, 287 Sports, etiquette in: yachting, 287 Sports, general rules of, 281, 282 Street-car, getting off, 415 Summer hotel, etiquette of, 257 Suppers, Sunday night, 49, 50 Suppers, after the theater, 176 Swimming, etiquette of, 289 Sympathy, cards of, 22 Sympathy, expressions of, 211, 212

Table, at, 216 Table, at: carving, 217 Table, at: drinking coffee, 221, 222 Table, at: eating, 216, 220 Table, at: salad, 222 Table, at: second service, 224 Table, at: the hostess, 217, 223 Table, at: the waitress, 222 Table, at: use of finger-bowls, 222 Table, at: use of fork, 217, 218 Table, at: use of knife, 217, 218, 219 Table, at: use of spoon, 220 Table, at: using fingers, 220, 221 Table: fruit centerpiece for, 97 Table laws, 225, 226 Table, setting the, 93, 94, 95, 98, 225 Table, sitting at, 216 Telephoning, politeness of, 404, 405, 406 Tennis, etiquette of, 286, 287 Tipping, 188, 253 Titles, 17, 42 Titles: husband’s never taken by wife, 16 Traveling: arrival in a strange city, 276, 277, 278 Traveling: by boat, 278 Traveling: chaperons, 278, 279 Traveling: funds, 270, 271 Traveling: in the dining-car, 275, 276 Traveling, making acquaintance while, 271, 272 Traveling: Pullman car preparations, 272, 273, 274 Traveling, suitable clothing for, 270

Uniformity of custom, 429 Uninvited visitor, 12, 183 Use of first names, 127, 245 Ushers, wedding, 74, 79 Ushers, dress for, 83

Value of allowances, 396 Visited, the, 195 Visited, the: conduct toward guest, 199, 200, 201, 202 Visited, the: decline of hospitality, 195, 196, 197 Visited, the: inviting a visitor, 197, 198 Visited, the: preparing for visitor, 198, 199 Visited, the: welcoming visitor, 199 Visitor, the, 182 Visitor, the: accepting invitations, 183, 184 Visitor, the: assisting hostess, 186 Visitor, the: examples of misbehavior, 190, 191, 192 Visitor, the: expenses of, 200, 201 Visitor, the: house-parties, 187 Visitor, the: keeping engagements, 184 Visitor, the: meal time, 184, 185 Visitor, the: promptness essential, 185 Visitor, the: proper mode of conduct, 193, 194 Visitor, the: thanking hostess, 188, 189 Visitor, the: tipping servants, 188 Visitor, the: what to avoid, 190 Visitor, uninvited, 183 Visitor, wardrobe of, 182, 187 Voice, speaking quality of, 234

Waitress, 222 Weddings, 69, 70, 78 Wedding anniversaries, 62, 63 Wedding announcements, 86, 87 Wedding apparel, appropriate, 72, 82, 83 Wedding at home, 69, 70 Wedding attendants, 70, 79 Wedding-breakfasts, 71, 72, 75, 76, 84, 85 Wedding calls, 85 Wedding-cards, 70 Wedding ceremony, 74, 75, 80, 81 Wedding, church, 78 Wedding decorations, 73, 78, 79 Wedding, evening, 83 Wedding expenses, how divided, 71 Wedding invitations, form of, 69, 70, 78 Wedding jokes, impropriety of, 77 Wedding music, 74 Wedding procession, order of, 74, 75, 80 Wedding ushers, 74, 79 Weddings: “At Home” days, 89 Weddings: expressing congratulations, 75, 83, 84 Weddings: days for, 70 Weddings: maid of honor, 70 Week-end party, 187 Wines, serving of, 98 Women’s clubs, broadening influence of, 337, 338, 339 Women’s clubs, candidates for membership in, 343, 344 Women’s clubs, discussion in, 342, 343 Women’s clubs, formation of, 339, 340 Women’s clubs, making the program of, 340, 341, 342 Women’s clubs: reception of new members, 344 Women’s clubs, social functions of, 345, 346 Women’s colleges, 114, 115 Women in business, 380 Women in business: after working hours, 385, 386 Women in business, broadened life of, 384, 385 Women in business: conduct during working hours, 382 Women in business, proper dress for, 383, 384 Women in business, social position of, 381

Yachting, etiquette of, 287 Yachting: the guest, 288 Yachting: the host, 287 Young women, and young men, 125 Young women: calling on, 126 Young women, introductions to, 138 Young women: invitations from men, 125 Young women, proposing for, 131, 132

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Transcriber’s Notes:

Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page 96, “desert” changed to “dessert” (required for the dessert)

Page 115, “woman’s” changed to “women’s” (A women’s college is)

Page 224, “insist” changed to “insists” (your host insists, however)

Page 263, “Fondu” changed to “Fondue” (Fondue—A preparation)

Page 265, “Piquante, piquante” changed to “Piquant, piquant” (“Piquant”—Sharply flavored, as “sauce piquant,”)

Page 266, “Veloute” changed to “Velouté” (“Velouté”—A smooth)