SCENE III.

THE FOREST DELL.

_Haunted tree C. at back. A large rock at R. of tree, upon which NOODLE is seated._

NOODLE, (_Sneezing._)

I’ve got a frightful cold. My Ms and Bs Are all mixed up, likewise my Ls and Ds. That Gnome King there, Oh, isn’t he a beauty! Because, he said, I ran away from duty. Fixed me by some enchantment to this stone, And here he’s left me ever since, alone.

(_Takes bottle from pocket._)

Strolling the other day upon the sand, I Found this. B. R. A. N. D. Y. spells brandy. It isn’t bad, though how did it come here? There’s been a shipwreck, that is very clear. The country’s full of geese, too, it’s absurd! Which ever way I turned I found a bird, All dressed in sailor’s jackets, caps and things, With spy glasses stuck underneath their wings.

(_Enter MONA L. running._)

MONA. There, I’ve escaped them! Now to find the shore, I don’t think they will catch me any more.

(_Moves toward tree._)

It must be this way, I can scent the sea. Ah! Who are you, sir, under that old tree.

NOO. Don’t be afraid, fair maid, I cannot harm you; Glued to this stone these _tones_ need not alarm you. I can’t get up (_tries to rise_.)

MONA. Why not?

NOO. The Gnome has tied me.

MONA. You have a story. Tell me.

NOO. Sit beside me.

(_MONA sits on rock other side of tree._)

Long years ago I was a boy.

MONA. How strange!

NOO. A little tiny boy, so high.

MONA. A change!

NOO. I had an uncle, and I _was_ a prince. My father died. _He_ seized the throne. (_MONA starts_,) You wince.

MONA. Oh not at all. Go on! I’ve heard a tale. Like yours before. It’s very like a whale.

NOO. My tail! there’s more behind. He then seized _me_ And shipped me off, a little boy, to sea. For many years I’ve wandered as a sailor, And earned my salt as cook on board a whaler. Shipwrecked upon this most unkindly shore, I’ve lived a wretched life ten years or more. The manikins who live down there below, Took me, and made me giant in a show: “Walk up! walk up! just going to begin.”

(_imitates Showman._)

That’s what they used to say to bring folks in— “This giant is all real, no sawdust here!”

MONA. Made you a giant, did they. That was queer.

NOO. “There’s no deception, gents! no pads or straw!” And then they’d pinch my legs to make me roar. Stick pins into my calves.

MONA. Oh, that was cruel.

NOO. And if I would’t act they’d stop my gruel. Well, now I’ve joined the army, serve the nation. That means long drills, stiff collars and starvation. I’ll make a raft or boat, and get away, So sure as my name’s Noodle, miss, some day.

MONA. What name?

NOO. Why, Noodle.

MONA. Noodle?

NOO. Why not Noodle?

MONA. You have a brother?

NOO. Which his name is Doodle.

(_Tries to rise._)

Say, have you seen him? Is my brother here?

MONA. He is.

NOO. And I can’t leave my stony ‘_cheer_.’

MONA. I’ll go and seek him. (_Exit R._)

NOO. Stay! She’s gone. What joy! I havn’t seen my brother since a boy.

(_Enter DOODLE hurriedly, L._)

DOODLE. I’ve lost my mermaid! (_Sees NOODLE._) Ha! Pray who are you?

NOO. (_Aside._) Is this my brother? Is your name, Sir, Doo—?

DOO. It’s Noodle! (_Is going to rush towards him, but stops short suddenly._) Come though, this won’t do I say, We mustn’t take things in this easy way. Although perchance we may have had the same aunt. There may perhaps, Sir, be another “Claimant.” I’d like to ask a question.

NOO. Ask a dozen.

DOO. Pray, had your nurse, Sir, in the Guards a “cousin?”

NOO. ’Tis strange, but true.

DOO. ’Tis well! When you were able You kicked you poor old pa beneath the table?

(_NOODLE nods._)

Say, did you once, upon your nurse’s lap, By chance capsize a teaspoonful of pap?

NOO. I did! I did! The circumstance pecoolia, I now recall it. Which her name was Julia.

DOO. Did you like sugar on your bread and butter?

(_NOODLE nods._)

Used you to play at marbles in the gutter?

NOO. I must confess it.

DOO. Now I think upon it. Had you a bouncing B. once in your Bonnet.

NOO. I had! I have! In fact, as I’m alive, Not one bee only but a perfect hive.

DOO. Have you on your left arm a strawberry mark?

NOO. A perfect bed! You’d see them in the dark. ’Tis he! ’tis he! My feelings I can’t smother; Come to my arms my lengthy long lost brother!

(_NOODLE tries to rise but cannot._)

Why don’t you rise?

NOO. I can’t, the Gnome King’s bound me. I should have died down here if you’d not found me.

DOO. What’s to be done? (_Trunk of tree opens, and discovers the FAIRY OF THE FOREST._)

FAIRY. Sprinkle him thrice, sprinkle him thrice, With the water that trickles And trickles and trickles Down from the mountain Here to the fountain. Sprinkle and say, One, two, three and away, One, two, three and away.

(_Trunk of tree closes again._)

DOO. Ah, here’s the fountain, look!

(_Runs off, R., and returns with water in the palm of his hand. Throws it over NOODLE._)

One, two, three and away! (_NOODLE springs up. He limps. The brothers embrace._)

NOO. I’m stiff as that old tree.

_Enter MONA R., carrying large gold key_.

MONA. You’ve found him, see! Look here! I’ve brought this key, Key to the diamond mountain. Come! be quick: We’ll play that dear old dwarf there such a trick.

DOO. We’ll build a raft; with diamonds fill each sack; Set sail before he knows—

NOO. And not come back. But where’s your crew?

DOO. My crew? Oh there’s the rub, I hav’nt got a crew to sail a tub. A set of geese! (_Trunk of tree opens and shows FAIRY OF THE FOREST._)

FAIRY. Sprinkle thrice, sprinkle thrice. And your geese, in half a trice Will disappear, and on the land, Four and forty sailors stand.

(_Trunk of tree closes._)

DOO. A friend in need’s a friend indeed they say. Madam, we thank you. Come, friends, let’s away.

NOO. Let’s to the mountain; there our sacks we’ll fill. And get good fortune from a monstrous _ill_.

(_Exeunt, R., Trunk of tree opens. FAIRY OF THE FOREST descends, and comes forward._)

FAIRY. So far so good. Those captives stirred my pity, And Maiden Mona is so good and pretty. I hate that Gnome; he is so tough and tarty. (_looks off._) Here’s naughty Coquettina and her party. I’ll sprinkle magic water on them all, And where they stand they’ll stay until I call.

(_She returns into tree, which closes. Enter L. COQUETTINA hurriedly. She looks back as she enters._)

COQ. What fun! they’re coming all together here. I’ll hide behind this tree. (_Trunk opens, FAIRY appears and sprinkles her. She stops instantly._)

FAIRY. You’ll not, my dear.

(_Trunk closes. Enter R. and L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE and CAPT. POUNCE. Different entrances. Music soft and staccato. As they advance to centre, they see each other._)

ALL. Hallo!

(_Fairy appears; sprinkles them. They stop short and each retains the position of the moment, Lime light. Scene closes in with cavern, same as scene 1st, only opening at back closed in. Several sailors cross the stage from L. to R., carrying sacks on their backs. NOODLE and DOODLE bring up the rear, each carrying a sack. They come front._)

DOO. There! That’s the last, the raft won’t carry more. And now set sail, and quit this unkind shore. Where’s Mona? (_Enter MONA, R._)

MONA. Here. Please, dear, before we go, I wish to say good-bye to friends below.

DOO. I’m not a fish!

MONA. It’s done quite easily, We’ll sink this cavern down below the sea.

(_Enter L. KING, ROOSTER, GENERAL BOUNCE, CAPT. POUNCE, COQUETTINA._)

G. KING. Mind your own business, Miss, leave mine alone. I have a charm will turn you all to stone.

(_Makes passes in the air. Enter L. FAIRY._)

FAIRY. If you’re not good you’ll get another sprinkle.

G. KING. I’d rather be a lobster or a winkle.

MONA. Then here’s your key. Remember, don’t be cruel.

NOO. And feed your army. Give your giants gruel.

MONA. We’re going down. D’ye feel the motion?

DOO. Well! It’s easy as a lift in some hotel.

(_All give a slight jump as though the bottom had been reached._)

MONA. We’re there at last. Now let the water in. Don’t be afraid, you will not wet your skin.

(_Scene at back and sides gradually opens to soft music, and shows the_)

MERMAID’S HAUNT.

(_CORALINA descends in a coral car at back. Mermaids R. and L._)

COQUETTINA. This is my home. Good-bye, dear friends, to-night, And don’t forget your little Mermaid quite.

FAIRY OF THE FOREST. The bottom of the sea! It’s like a dream.

COQ. You’ve no society down here.

MONA. The very cream.

COQ. Perhaps it’s iced. I’m sure its very chilly.

GEN. BOUNCE. It’s all _cold cream_, of course, you little silly!

MONA. I hope you’re all content.

NOODLE. Well, I don’t know. Poor Coquettina here—

DOODLE. Pray, where’s her beau?

(_Coquettina, turns to CAPTAIN POUNCE._)

CAPTAIN P. Ah! Weally sowwy! Can’t be done I fear, When my superior officer is here.

(_She turns to GENERAL BOUNCE._)

GEN. B. Well! Hem! The situation’s most unpleasant, But as for matrimony!—not at present. Our friend here will oblige. Come, Rooster, say!

(_She turns to ROOSTER._)

ROOSTER. Too busy, now. Pray call another day.

COQ. Oh! very well! I’m sure that I don’t care. I’ll join the “Ladies Club.” They’ve no men there!

G. KING. A gnome’s _un homme_ for all that. Here’s my _key_. _C. flat’s_ found often down below the _C_. One thing I know, if once I get above, No man shall say the Gnome is crossed in love.

GEN. B. A soldier’s duty lies in drill and glory, But as for love, well, that’s another story.

CAPT. P. Well, weally! Take things easy is my motto: But fancy catching shwimps here in a gwotto!

(_Pretends to catch Shrimp swimming past._)

DOODLE. (_Putting his am round Mona’s waist._) Though strange, a mermaid’s heart I hold in hand! My geese are changed to sailors; there they stand. We’ve found the diamond mine—

NOO. And filled each sack.

DOO. And as for uncle (_Turning up Coat cuffs._)

NOO. Wait till we get back!

MONA. Since all things wrong are now at last made right, We only have a wish you all good-night.

(_Red and green lights._)

CORALINA. FAIRY OF THE FOREST. GENERAL BOUNCE. CAPTAIN POUNCE. GNOME KING. ROOSTER. MONA. COQUETTINA. DOODLE. NOODLE.

_Curtain._

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES

1. Silently corrected typographical errors and variations in spelling. 2. Archaic, non-standard, and uncertain spellings retained as printed. 3. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_. The SMALL-CAPS was not italicized. 4. Enclosed bold font in equals.