Part 2

When on board the ship, a great storm came on, and the sailors were afraid of being wrecked. So they awoke Jesus, telling him of their danger. He first chided them, and then scolded the winds and the waves, which at once subsided. When he was come to the other side, into the country of the Gergesenes, he was met by two men possessed with devils, who asked him if he had come to torment them before their time? And singular to say, the devils also, from the _interior_, entered into conversation with Jesus, asking as a favour, that if they were cast out, they might be allowed to go into a herd of swine which were feeding some distance off. Why they should choose such an abode is not apparent; but having permission to go, they at once entered into possession, much to the astonishment of the poor porkies, who took fright and ran violently down a steep hill into the sea, and all, to the number of 2,000, perished in the waters. O unhappy pigs! O miserable devils! the Son of man, whom you had never injured, worked your speedy destruction. "And, behold, the whole city came out to meet Jesus; and when they saw him, they besought him that he would depart out of _their_ coasts." They had more desire to save their bacon than to see miracles worked at the expense of their pigs. Jesus entered into a ship and came over to his own city, where a certain ruler came and worshipped him, saying that his daughter was dead, but making the request that she should be raised to life again. When Jesus entered the ruler's house, he said, "Give place, for the maid is not dead, but sleepeth." And they laughed him to scorn. But when the house was cleared he took the girl by the hand, and the maid arose. This was regarded as a miracle, but it could not be, because Jesus said the girl only slept, and it is not possible that a perfect God could tell an untruth.

After this Jesus called together his twelve disciples, and gave them instructions what to do. He said:--"Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your purses, nor scrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves; for the workman is worthy of his meat. And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, inquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go hence. And when ye come into a house, salute it. And if the house be worthy, let your peace come upon it; but if it be not worthy, let your peace return to you. And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment than for that city." But it is doubtful if he meant the land of Sodom and Gomorrha, or Tyre and Sidon. However, though we may overlook this uncertainty, we cannot the fact, that a threat of destroying cities is held out if his disciples are not received and fed by people upon whom they have not the slightest claim. This advice would justify the order of 'Mendicant Friars in their lazy habit of living upon all who are willing to support them. He also added--"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." Have not the Jesuits carried out this advice? And then he gave utterance to this painful truth to which the blood-stained pages of history can testify:--"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came _not_ to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than, me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me." There has been no peace, and there can be none, in the world, so long as the contradictory and impossible doctrines of Jesus of Nazareth are taught as infallible truth. House has been divided against house, the father's hand lifted against the child, and the mother's loving tenderness turned to bitterest hate, because of differences of opinion upon Christian dogmas.

While Jesus was making one of his incoherent speeches, somebody told him that his mother and brothers were without, desiring to speak with him. "But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren." There is here manifested a want of natural affection unbecoming any man, and which justifies M. Renan in saying, notwithstanding his great reverence for Jesus, that he was more loved than loving. There is scarcely a trace of affection throughout his life, from his childhood to his death. He was mystical and fanatical, like all who seek to set themselves up as inspired teachers.

One day Jesus sat by the sea-side and talked to the people in parables. He is answerable for the following:--"For whosoever hath to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance; but whosoever hath _not_, from him shall be taken away even that he hath." He says immediately after, as a sort of apology, "Therefore speak I to then in parables, because they seeing, see not; and hearing, they hear not, neither do they understand."

It would be a miracle greater than that worked among the pigs, if anyone did understand. This sort of talk must have been indulged in for amusement--it could not have had any serious purport, or if it had, it is too profound to be understood.

When Jesus learnt the execution of John the Baptist, he departed into a desert place, but the multitude heard of him, and followed him out of the cities. And when evening came, the disciples asked him to send the multitude away, that they might go into the villages and buy themselves victuals. We do not usually find villages in _desert_ places; but that was quite as possible in this case as what followed. Jesus said they need not go, and told the disciples to give to the people to eat. They said, We have here but five loaves and two fishes. He said, Bring them hither to me. And then looking up to heaven, he blessed and brake, and distributed to the multitude. Now out of this very small commissariat, about five thousand men, besides women and children, ate and were filled, and left twelve baskets full of fragments at the end of the feast. All we can deplore is, that the age of miracles is past. If anyone could do this now, what a number of attached followers be would have, no matter what his speculative opinions might be. He might believe in the eternity of punishments; in three Gods in one, or one in three; in election, predestination, or transmigration of souls--in short, in anything or nothing; if he could only feed his flock by casting his eyes up to heaven, he would soon empty all the churches and chapels in the kingdom. As Renan very powerfully points out, no miracle ever yet took place under scientific conditions; and till one of this description is wrought under such conditions, we must be allowed to suspend our judgment. We do not say it did not take place, but we don't believe it. It is true it does not say what kind of fishes the two were which served to fill five thousand men, _besides_ women and children, who probably ran the number up to eight thousand. Perhaps the fishes were whales, as the whole story is so "very like a whale" that any suggested solution of the astounding tale is legitimate. This miracle was once discussed by a society in Chicago, and the 'cute American intellect found a key to the mystery, for they _resolved_--"That the multitude must certainly have made their repast off _multiplication tables_!"

After this stupendous feat, Jesus constrained his disciples to get into the ship and go across the water, whilst he remained behind to get rid of his well fed friends. And when night came, the ship was tossed by the storm. And in the fourth watch Jesus went unto them walking on the sea. When his disciples saw him they said he was a spirit, and cried out for fear. But Jesus said, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. Then the enthusiastic Peter said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. Jesus said, Come; to which Peter responded by stepping out of the ship; but he could not float, and began to sink rapidly, and would have perished if his master had not put out his hand and saved him. If this system of aquatic locomotion could be instituted now, it would supersede all lifeboats. But we have little _faith_ in these days of scientific facts, and it requires an immense amount of that commodity to be able to attempt even what was said to have been accomplished by the founders of our national religion.

Jesus did not confine his creative abilities to the solid comforts of life, but exercised them upon the liquid luxuries of existence. Being invited to a wedding, and there being no wine, his mother, with a woman's natural solicitude on such an occasion, said to him, "They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come." Now, what such a churlish answer had to do with the simple remark made by his mother, we leave to gentle Christians to say. However, after a time he became more amiable; and, no doubt, reflecting upon the disappointment of those who had come to a marriage feast, and found nothing but water to drink, he took compassion on them, and turned the water into wine, to the extent of "six water pots, containing two or three firkins apiece." "This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him." Well they might; and we fear that any man in these days who should do such things, would have many followers, in spite of all the preaching of all the teetotallers, who, strange to say, for the most part profess to be good Christians, notwithstanding that Christ, when he had the opportunity of rebuking wine bibbing, did not do so, but encouraged it by supplying the very beverage which teetotallers so vehemently condemn.

When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, Whom do men say that I the Son of Man am? He was anxious to know what people thought of him now that he was become so famous. "And they said, Some say that thou art John the Baptist; some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets. He saith unto them, But whom say _ye_ that I am?" Of course Peter was ready to crown all, and he said--"Thou art the Christ, the son of the living God." For which Jesus blessed Peter, and promised him the keys of the kingdom of heaven; but they soon fell to quarrelling, when Jesus said that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things, and be killed, and be raised again the third day. Peter rebuked him, and said it should not be; but Jesus turned upon him, and said, "Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me." It was not very dignified or in good taste after Peter had imparted such an important fact to him, which was done by a revelation of his Father which is in heaven.. But such was the manner of Jesus.

When he left Galilee, and came into Judaea, he resolved to go to Jerusalem; and when he was come to the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples to a village on a very questionable errand. It was to perform no less an act than the appropriation of a donkey and her colt. He told them that, if any one said aught unto them, they were to say, "The Lord hath need of them." That kind of answer would scarcely be deemed satisfactory in these days, especially to a policeman. He would very likely reply, If the Lord hath need of the ass, the magistrate hath need of thee; and if the instigator of the deed were not the actual thief, he would be charged as an accessory before the fact, and would be provided with board and lodging at the expense of the county for at least twelve months. This was done that another prophecy might be fulfilled, which said, "Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy king cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass." But this prophet must have been an ass, or he would have known that even the Son of man would find it difficult to sit upon two asses of such unequal size at the same time. Apart from the absurdity of the story, it is an example of very loose notions indeed of the rights of property, which, if stated of Mahomet, of Joseph Smith the Mormon, or any other founder of a religious sect, would be quoted as a proof of his obliquity of moral vision. After this successful exploit of taking unto himself other people's goods, Jesus became quite daring; and when he got to Jerusalem he went into the temple of God, where he found a number of people carrying on their usual business. He had no more right there than they had--in fact, not so much, as he was a stranger to the city. But, notwithstanding this, he got a rope, and thrashed every one out of the place, upsetting the tables and chairs, and creating such a consternation as only a Bedlamite broken loose would be likely to produce. Though this was immediately after the appropriation of the two donkeys, upon which he had actually ridden to the temple, he called all the tradespeople dishonest, and accused them of having turned the place into a den of thieves. Whatever it might have been before he came, certainly one would think the designation not inappropriate after the arrival of himself and his disciples. He was not arrested on the spot for this act of assault and battery; but what should we think of the City Police Commissioner if he neglected to order into custody any mad enthusiast who might so conduct himself on the Stock Exchange? But he would not, and the enthusiast's vagaries and his visit to the police cell would be a very little time apart. It would be no use his alleging that he was about his Father's business, and that he was fulfilling prophecy--that would only aggravate the offence. He would be told that if his father did not take better care of him, the county asylum would; and the prophet would very soon be "wanted" who had instigated such folly.

Jesus did not remain in the city during the night--it was not prudent after such an advent in the morning, but he went and lodged in Bethany, a little way out of town. In returning next morning he was hungry, so, when he came to a fig-tree, he looked at it hoping to find some fruit on it, but there was none, as it was not the right season. We should forgive an excited hungry man here if he, in a moment of forgetfulness, looked for apples in winter; but if he began to curse the tree for not bearing fruit out of season, we should think he was mad past doubt. Yet this is exactly what Jesus did; and not only so, but he withered the tree that it should not bear fruit thenceforward forever. His disciples marvelled at what he had done, as well they might. "Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." No persons have ever yet had the requisite amount of faith to remove mountains; and the less they try such credulity on fruit trees, the better for our orchards. Nobody does or can believe such insane talk. Jesus went to the temple again, and whilst he was preaching, the Chief Priests and elders came and asked him by what authority he did such things. In true Quaker style he answered them by asking a question, which had the merit of being impossible of solution. He said--"The baptism of John, whence was it? from heaven, or of men?" They said: "We cannot tell. And he said unto them, Neither tell I you by what authority I do these things." That seemed to silence his interrogators, but it did not answer them. It was a favourite way with this Messiah; and we remain as much in the dark to this hour as did the Chief Priests and elders. This method of evasion is also exemplified in the case of the tribute money. When asked whether it was lawful to render tribute unto Caesar, he said, looking at a coin, "Whose is this image and superscription?" They said, Caesar's. "Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's." Renan says on this point--"To establish as a principle that we must recognise the legitimacy of a power by the inscription on its coins, to proclaim that the perfect man pays tribute with scorn, and without question, was to destroy Republicanism in the ancient form, and to favour all tyranny. Christianity, in this sense, has contributed much to weaken the sense of duty of the citizen, and to deliver the world into the absolute power of existing circumstances." But we are not surprised that he should so readily teach the payment of tribute, considering how easy he found it to pay tribute himself; for the ludicrous account given in Matthew, in the same chapter which describes the transfiguration, shows Jesus discharging his own liability and that of Peter in the most original manner imaginable. Not wishing to offend the tax collectors, he said to Peter--"Go thou to the sea, and cast an hook, and take up the fish that first cometh up; and when thou hast opened his mouth, thou shalt find a piece of money: take that, and give unto them for me and thee." If fish of this description swam in rivers now, they would be preserved to the exclusion of the most delicious members of the finny tribe. Every man would be an angler, and fishing-tackle making would be the most lucrative trade known. Take another instance of evasion. The Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection, so they put a question to Jesus on that point. They instanced a woman who had been married to seven brothers in succession, all of whom had died. Therefore, in the resurrection, they asked whose wife she would be out of the seven when they met again. This was quickly disposed of, for "Jesus answered and said onto them, Ye do err, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God. For In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven." If this is so, what becomes of the hope which believers in immortality have that in heaven they will be joined again to those they have lost on earth? This great consolation of the Christian is founded on a delusion. Jesus also supplemented his statement with this remarkable declaration, "But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is _not_ the God of the _dead_, but of the _living_," What then is the use of Catholic prayers for the souls of those in Purgatory? What is the utility of our burial service, which goes upon the supposition that God will attend to our requests as touching the dead we are about to consign to the grave? Freethinkers and rational thinkers discard the whole ceremony as a mockery. When once dead, the particles which composed our bodies are dissolved, and pass into new combinations--_we_ never live again.

After he had done all his preaching, and had thoroughly aroused the ire of the authorities and most of the people of Jerusalem against him, he began to fear that he would have to suffer for it, and he told his disciples so. After they had supped together in the house of one of the friends, they departed to the Mount of Olives outside the city, and Jesus said they would all be offended with him because of that night. Peter the loquacious declared, that though all men might be offended because of him, he would never be. Jesus had no great opinion of Peter's steadfastness, and told him, notwithstanding his protestations of attachment, that before the cock crew he would deny him thrice. Peter asseverated again: "Though I should die with ye, yet will I not deny thee." Poor Peter's word, like his judgment, however, was not to be relied upon, for the very next day he denied all knowledge of Jesus, and when pressed for an answer, he began to curse and to swear that he had never seen him. Soon after this the Garden of Gethsemane, into which they had entered; was surrounded by a multitude with staves and with swords, and Jesus was arrested, Peter the dauntless did make some resistance, and cut off the ear of Malchus, a servant of the High Priest; but the loss was only temporary, for we are told that Jesus immediately "touched his ear, and healed him," and if this does not mean that he stuck the ear on again, what does it mean? When Jesus was arrested in the Garden, all the disciples, escaped as quickly as possible, but Peter followed at a distance; and when Jesus was taken to the house of Caiaphas the High Priest, Peter entered and mixed with the servants. He was soon recognised as a follower of Jesus; but when accused of the fact, he stoutly denied it three times, the last with oaths, like the low-bred man he was; for though he had been consorting with Jesus a long time, he had not learnt refinement of manners, which is not wonderful, as Jesus certainly did not set an example of choiceness of language, his favourite mode of speech being to call people fools, and to launch curses at them. But Peter had to fulfil a prophecy--namely, that he would deny his master _thrice_, before the cock crew _twice_, which he did before the cock crew _once_. And so that prophecy was fulfilled!