Part 6
Said Ding, Dong, and Dell, “Listen to the bell!” Now it was not bell, but bells, For the bells that rang were many,-- Bells upon bells; You shall have a silver penny, Or almost anything else, If you can count the bells That are ringing. And what for?-- Ding, Dong, and Dell Will explain every bell, That is to say, the bells, Neither less nor more Than the meaning of the Bells.
X
“Who are you?” Says One to Two; Says Two to One “I’m plenty;” “Think again!” Says little Ten, And, “Think again!” says Twenty.
XI
Lily white, Rose red, Standing in the garden-bed; Wind from the south, wind from the west, Can you tell me which is best?
XII
Johnny has finished his lessons, All in good time; Then in his very resence, The bells set up a chime;
All round the school-room The bells began to ring, All round the school-room, “Johnny is a king!”
XIII
Now, then, let us tell a tale-- Six travellers in a dale, Feeling weak about the knees, Resting under six elm-trees; Six robbers, after them, Draw their swords and say, “Ahem!” Then the travellers, who have not Any weapons with them got, Shake and shiver in their boots, And they play upon their flutes Then the robbers six remark To the travellers, “It is dark.” “No,” say they, “it is not quite.-- Every traveller strikes a light! Will you see some conjuring tricks?” “Yes,” say all the robbers six; Then six tigers and six lions Came along and roared defiance, And the thieves and travellers too Could not tell what next to do: “This,” said they, “is very sad!” Then there came an earthquake bad, And the air was very hot, And it swallowed up the lot.
XIV
When Ding and Dong, Had finished a song, One day, they went to Dell, And to him or her Said, “We should prefer That you should do something as well,-- Something amusing Of your own choosing.”-- “And so I will,” says Dell.
There goes a bell, Ding, dong, dell, A cracked old bell, A shaky old bell, A quavering old bell,-- Can anybody tell What the cracked old bell is saying?
“Yes, I can tell,” says Dell, “Without measuring or weighing, And this is what it is saying; Ding, dong, dell! Goes the cracked old bell; And this is what it is saying:
“There is an old woman whose name it is Gray, Lives in an old town in an old-fashioned way; You cross an old bridge, and go up an old road, And down an old lane, to find out her abode.
“She wears an old cap that stands ever so high; She looks through old goggles as round as the sky; She keeps an old dog, and a very old cat; She sits in an arm-chair much older than that.
“She crosses her old arms; she shakes her old pate; She only hears half of the tale you relate; She puts her old ear-trumpet up, and cries ‘_What?_’ And when you say ‘Freezing!’ she thinks you say ‘Hot!’
‘She thinks as she sits that she hears a bell ring, As even and slow as a rook on the wing; It booms in her old ear; she shakes her old head; That old bell says, _Put out the lights and to bed!_”
XV
Ding, dong, dell, Bell, bell, bell! What have you got to tell? What is it the bells say, From Greenwich up to Chelsea,-- The bells of wandering fancies, Up and down By sea and town Like knights in old romances? What is it that the bells say? What is it you hear Dell say? Explaining what the bells say?
An August day: an August night; A morning in September; A lily red; a jasmine white; What more do you remember?
A harvest-moon, a hunter’s moon; A partridge on the moorland; A stack of wheat; an afternoon In a yacht out by the Foreland.
A foxglove faded, a brook to be waded, Apples and pears grown redder; And the ways of the birds, which, without any words, Say, “Come let us consider!”
XVI
Then those bells stop, The bells of wandering fancies And Autumn and Summer chances;
And a bell rings with a flop, A sort of heavy drop, A distant blunt bark, As if it was made in the dark, And lived underground like a mole, And the rope was as black as a coal. O bell, what a comical voice! What a stupid sort of noise! Do you call it ringing or drumming? And who is it that is coming? It must be a bogie of some sort, A blunt, black, stupid, dumb sort! Hark! what do we hear this bell say? And what do you hear Dell say?
“This is the King of the Blackaways, And very black is he, So black you cannot see his face,-- Not you! No more can we!
Black, black, Breast and back; Teeth and eyes, Lips likewise; Just like a blot Tied in a knot!
And oh, the land of the Blackaways, Where this King reigns, is a very black place.
The grass is black, and so are the trees, The chalk is black, and so are the geese; The milk, the eggs, the flour, and the cheese; The sheets and the shirts; for it all agrees!”
Get you gone, Blackaway King, if you please! And dine off black bread, and flesh of black geese, Where the grass grows black on the Blackaway leas!
XVII
What sort of bell is this? A wisdom bell, Or a nonsense bell? What sort of bell is this?
“Bell, bell, how high do you hang?” I said to the bell as it rang, as it rang, And “Never _you_ mind!” a goblin sang, One who did dwell Within the bell! Wibbling-wobbling Went the bell, And what had the goblin Got to tell? Why, ill said or well said, This is what the bell said; Wisdom bell Or nonsense bell, This is what the bell said:
BETSY BOUNCE--her taste was such-- Of her bonnet thought too much; Strutting up and down she went, (People wondered what she meant).
In the villages and towns Folks said, “Look how Betsy Bounce Takes her walks around the nation!” She thought this was admiration.
“Oh, that all the world,” says she, “Could my lovely bonnet see, See my bonnet, but without All this walking round about!”
For in truth the girl got tired, Though her bonnet was admired, Of this walking round the nation After people’s admiration.
Now observe what came to pass-- One fine day this foolish lass Found her bonnet growing, growing On her head like flowers a-blowing!
Higher still, and higher piled Grew the bonnet on the child, Farther back and farther out, Farther down and round about!
Rivers sprawling to the sea Both the strings appeared to be, Till the bow beneath her chin Shut her up and shut her in.
Oh, how foreigners did stare When her bonnet filled the air, Russian, Turk, and Mexican, Folks in India and Japan!
Betsy Bounce has her desire: All the world can now admire! Yet perhaps she will not pout When the bonnet is worn out.
But her parents, being poor, Cannot, for a time, procure Betsy Bounce another hat, So she must keep on with that.
XVIII
You cannot count the bluebells That are upon the heath,-- The ferns stand tall and stately, The bells hang underneath; But I can count the tassels As big as flowers of clover That hang on baby’s curtain, The curtain that hangs over; And when I rock the cradle The tassels swing and swing, And they make fairy music, And baby hears them ring; Ding-dong in the morning, And in the evening too, Rhime, chime, in fairy time, Baby, dear, for you!
XIX
When the moon was on the wane, Ding was looking through the window-pane, Dong was counting drops of rain, And Dell was thinking with might and main; But all of them listened to the bell again, A wisdom bell, Or a nonsense bell?
And the goblin said, “Let Dell explain, She knows what the bells say From Greenwich up to Chelsea, She will explain what the bells say!”
XX
O have you heard of Reuben Rammer, The little fellow that _would_ stammer? He talked at such a headlong rate That at last he got through Stuttering Gate.
If fellows will talk madly fast, They come to Stuttering Gate at last; Some boys take warning and they pause,-- Not thus with Reuben Rammer ’twas.
He made a plunge, dashed past the bar. He went on stuttering fast and far; And what was the result? Why, now He speaks no better than a cow!
He has been trying,--how absurd!-- For several months to speak a word; His mouth works open like a door, His arm goes like a semaphore!
He strives to say what he desires; His jaws jolt up like jaws on wires; But Reuben Rammer could not speak When last I saw him this day week!
How awkward to be driven to use A pencil to express your views, Try to say, “Hallo, Johnny Brown!” And yet be forced to write it down!
XXI
When the bell sounds Over land and sea, And the wind, in its rounds, Blowing fresh and free, Carries the ringing Far out of sight, There where the clinging Sails are white, White on the sea; And over the hills.
How far does the sound Of the sweet bell go? Over the round Where the waters flow, And up to the bound Where the winds can blow. Is it lost, is it found, Is it gone, do you know?
Nonsense Rhymes
NONSENSE RHYMES
TUESDAY
Carry and Kate Swallowed a slate: David and Dick Lived in a stick: Hetty and Helen Said, “Oh, what a dwelling!”
Patty and Prue Took baths in a flue: Nathan and Ned Caught fish in their bed: Nothing could hide ’em, And Dorothy fried ’em: This was on Tuesday, Which always was news day.
JOLLY JACK
“If black was white, And white was black, I would swallow a light And live in a sack, And swim on a kite,”-- Says jolly Jack.
THE DUCK AND HER DUCKLINGS
There was an old duck which had three little ducks, Three little ducklings, chuck, chuck, chucks! She took them for a walk, And she march’d them back, And taught them how to say, “Quack, quack, quack!”
The ducklings went behind, and the duck went before, Three ducks and one duck, that made four:
A duckling is a duck, if I know white from black, But a duck is not a duckling, though, “Quack, quack, quack!”
This duck was genteel, and she walk’d with great state, Then cried, “Now, ducklings, mark my gait, So much, you see, depends on the style of the back;” And the ducklings said, “Yes, mamma, Quack, quack, quack!”
LITTLE BEN BUTE
O little Ben Bute Had a flute, flute, flute, And went about the world in a knickerbocker suit; Down, up and down, And round about the town, He played and he played tootle-too, toot, toot! _Tootle-too, tootle-too-ey!_
He could not play it well, So the notes rose and fell, Tootle, tootle-too, with a twirl and a squeak; The wind, puff, puff, Was forty times enough, That he sent into the flute from his cheek, cheek, cheek, _Tootle-too, tootle-too-ey!_
Then people to the lad Said, “This is very bad! Our ears they are splitting, with your toot, toot, toot; Is there no one within reach-- What, no one!--who will teach Little Bute how to play upon the flute, flute, flute?” _Tootle-too, tootle-too-ey!_
THE DREAM OF A GIRL WHO LIVED AT SEVEN-OAKS
Seven sweet singing birds up in a tree; Seven swift sailing-ships white upon the sea; Seven bright weather-cocks shining in the sun; Seven slim race-horses ready for a run; Seven gold butterflies, flitting overhead; Seven red roses blowing in a garden bed; Seven white lilies, with honey bees inside them; Seven round rainbows with clouds to divide them; Seven pretty little girls with sugar on their lips; Seven witty little boys, whom everybody tips; Seven nice fathers, to call little maids joys; Seven nice mothers, to kiss the little boys; Seven nights running I dreamt it all plain; With bread and jam for supper I could dream it all again!
THE DREAM OF A BOY WHO LIVED AT NINE-ELMS
Nine grenadiers, with bayonets in their guns; Nine bakers’ baskets, with hot cross-buns; Nine brown elephants, standing in a row; Nine new velocipedes, good ones to go; Nine knickerbocker suits, with buttons all complete; Nine pair of skates with straps for the feet; Nine clever conjurors eating hot coals; Nine sturdy mountaineers leaping on their poles; Nine little drummer-boys beating on their drums; Nine fat aldermen sitting on their thumbs; Nine new knockers to our front door; Nine new neighbours that I never saw before; Nine times running I dreamt it all plain; With bread and cheese for supper I could dream it all again!
FOUR LITTLE HISTORIES
I
There was an old man, and he had an old gun, And he went to a cake shop, and aimed at a bun; The bullet it shot the old baker’s old cat, “Stop thief!” says the baker, “why, what are you at?”
II
Jack and Joe were tinmen, And oh, but they were thin men! Bags of bones, Or bags of stones,-- I think they couldn’t have _been_ men!
III
Sarah Page, In a rage, Drest in satin; Bertha Newry, Learning Latin, In a fury, Drest in silk, And lapping milk-- Which is best? Oh, what a bother! Neither one nor yet the other.
IV
Says Aleck to Alice, “I live in a palace.” Says Alice to Tim, “I don’t believe him.” Says Tim to his cousin, “I love you three dozen;” The cousin, she wondered, And asked for a hundred, Instead of three dozen: Says Tim, “You are fussing; Three dozen I love you, If that will not move you, My love I will carry To Magsie or Mary.”
A BIG NOISE
Twenty whales Lashing their tails; Twenty guns Fired at once; Twenty cats Howling in flats; Twenty parrots Calling carrots; Twenty apiece, Besides, of these,-- Lions roaring, Giants snoring, Waggons rolling, Bells tolling; These together, In stormy weather, With a steam hammer, Would make a clamour.
THE ALARM
A giant at the door behind, For Baby? Nothing of the kind! But even if a Giant were to come, With an eye like an Orleans plum, And hands like wolf’s paws, And teeth like horrible saws, And a voice like a dreadful cough, And he carried baby off, And fed her up in a dungeon (To fatten her for his luncheon), A dungeon as high as the stars; And, if the dungeon had bars, And was guarded by a horrid vulture, And an eagle of savage culture; And if from the wall of the castle A dragon hung like a tassel, And the castle was built among mountains, In a lonely situation At the very end of creation, With flames spouting round it like fountains-- Why, mother could find her way To the castle any day, And make the old dragon wriggle, And fight the vulture and the eagle, And blow up the castle--pop! And bring baby home to her sop, And the sop should have sugar extra, Because the Giant had vexed her.
CICERO BRICK
I
There was a boy at Hampton Wick, Whose name, as it happened, was Cicero Brick; He fell in love in desperate fashion With a girl who fully returned his passion.
But she had a father who said, “No, no! What! marry a boy named Cicero? Never, with my consent, my dear!”-- What happened next we soon shall hear.
The daughter wept till the father said, “Cicero Brick and you may wed When he has spoken an oration To an enormous congregation!”
II
The public felt no great surprise When Cicero Brick did advertise A course of lectures--five or six,-- O, what a notion of Cicero Brick’s!
St. James’s Hall, in Regent Street, For these orations he said was meet; The first oration that he spoke Two dozen heard it--what a joke!
The next time ten, the next time four, And then the public came no more; But Cicero Brick--_this_ who shall blame?-- Spoke the oration all the same.
“Read my advertisement,” quoth he, “And tell me what you in it see About the oration’s being _heard_! It says, ‘_delivered_.’ I keep my word!”
III
This was so honest and well-meant, The father well-nigh did relent; He said, “I never saw before So persevering an orator!”
The lover spoke, perhaps with grace, For two hours in that empty place! The servants at the Hall let out The fact, and it got noised about
At concerts, balls, and conversations, That Cicero spoke these orations In that huge Hall, week after week, With no one there to hear him speak.
What was the consequence? A run, A rush, to see and hear it done; “We really _must_ hear Cicero Brick!” All London cried. The crowd was thick.
They mobbed the men who took the pay; Hundreds that night were turned away; And Cicero Brick spoke this oration To an enormous congregation!
The father of the girl he wooed Now kept his promise, as he should; The wedding feast of Cicero Brick Came off at once near Hampton Wick; And all the guests gave three cheers for The persevering Orator.
THE OBSTINATE COW
This, if you please, is the Obstinate Cow,-- It all befell I will tell you how; And that, if you please, is the Resolute Boy,-- He tugs at her tail, and he shouts, “Ahoy!”
It stands to reason, if you but think, That the milk of an Obstinate Cow to drink Must make a fellow grow obstinate-- There they are by the Manor-house gate.
He breakfasted, year after year, On the milk of the cow that you see here; Her name is Dapple, his name is Jim; He pulls the cow, and the cow pulls him.
On the gate of the Manor-house may be read That trespassers will be prosecuted; The boy is right, and the cow is wrong, But the cow, as it happens, is much more strong.
It _does_ look awkward, and, if we attend, We soon shall see how it all will end: The Squire had a boy who was weak of bone, And very much wanting in will of his own.
Admiring the pluck of Resolute Jim, The Squire comes out, and he says to him, “How came you so plucky?” and Jim says, “How? I lived on the milk of this Obstinate Cow!”
“Oh, oh!” said the Squire, exceedingly pleased, “Your father shall sell me this obstinate beast, And you shall be cowherd.” So said, so done,-- The boy and his father enjoyed the fun.
The Squire’s little boy, who was weak of bone, And very much wanting in will of his own, Was fed on the milk of the Obstinate Cow, And, oh, what a change! You should see him _now_!
His mind is not worth a threepenny-bit, ’Tis dull as a ditch and as void of wit, Yet he makes it up, and from day to day, “_Do_ change your mind!” the people say; But his will is so strong that the people find They cannot induce him to change his mind!
LAVENDER LADY
I
Light Lady Lavender Went to wed a Scavenger, All the boys and girls in town Laughed at Lady Lavender.
Light Lady Lavender Hadn’t any provender, All the boys and girls in town Cried for Lady Lavender.
II
Lavender Lady got rich again, And lived in a palace in Lavender Lane; Flowers and provender! Sweet Lady Lavender Lived in a palace in Lavender Lane!
Lavender Lady is kind and gay, Lavender House is not a long way; Puddings and pies, And turkeys’ thighs, And peacocks’ tails, too, all over eyes!
Ask for her up, ask for her down, If ever you go to London Town: In all the nation There’s no relation So kind as she is in London town!
III
“When you saw the New Moon pass” (Loud laughed the Scavenger), “Did you look at her through glass, Proud Madam Lavender?”
“Stab my heart through with your horn!” Laughed Lady Lavender To the New Moon all forlorn. Light Lady Lavender.
She fell sad, and he fell sick, Proud Lady Lavender. O the snow fell fast and thick, Poor Lady Lavender!
“Take the broom and sweep the street, Proud Lady Lavender;” O but she had dainty feet, Soft Lady Lavender.
“Sweep you must and sweep you shall, Soft Lady Lavender, Up the Mall and down the Mall, Proud Lady Lavender.
“Have you done your sweeping yet, Proud Madam Scavenger? Are your slippers cold and wet?” Poor Lady Lavender!
“Wet is wet, and cold is cold,” Wept Lady Lavender, But the broom had turned to gold-- Loud laughed the Scavenger.
“Take your sampler, Madam Witch, Laid up in lavender; Do you see a golden stitch, And a silver P in provender?”
Silver and gold for a golden broom, Rich Lady Lavender; Then she danced all round the room, Light Lady Lavender.
Take the New Moon for a cup, Witch-lady Lavender; Ladle the gold and silver up, Proud Lady Lavender.
“Here’s an angel-piece for you,” Laughed Lady Lavender; “Here’s a golden guinea too,” Kind Lady Lavender!
Now we are all safe and sound (China plates and provender), Now we’re on Tom Tiddler’s Ground,-- Laugh, Lady Lavender!
ODD RHYMES
I
Rook, rook, Read in a book! Mouse, mouse, Build a house! Bee, bee, Get your tea! Pig, pig, Dance a jig! Goose, goose, Put on shoes! Snail, snail, Fill the pail! Rabbit, rabbit, Mind you stab it! Cricket, cricket, Mind you kick it!
II
My maid Molly, She pricked her thumb, But only with holly, And the blood wouldn’t come.
III
Martin, Martin Went a carting; And why did he travel? To bring home some gravel.
IV
Hey-down, high-down, furze and thistle, Rain and wind, and a dog and whistle; The wind blows, the rain drops, The seeds are gone from the thistle-tops: Whistle! find me a flower in the clover, And you shall have turkey for supper, Rover!
TOPSYTURVEY-WORLD
If the butterfly courted the bee, And the owl the porcupine; If churches were built in the sea, And three times one was nine; If the pony rode his master, If the buttercups ate the cows, If the cat had the dire disaster To be worried, sir, by the mouse; If mamma, sir, sold the baby To a gipsy for half-a-crown; If a gentleman, sir, was a lady,-- The world would be Upside-Down!
If any or all of these wonders Should ever come about, I should not consider them blunders, For I should be Inside-Out!