Part 1
Lillput Lyrics
THE EDITOR’S NOTE
_The following verses have been selected from “Lilliput Levee,” 1868, and from W. B. Rands’ numerous contributions to magazines.[A] He wrote_ _under many signatures, never enumerated; but--with the generous assistance of his son, Mr. Paul W. Rands, and his publisher, Mr. Alexander Strahan--I have been able to identify and examine all his work. Three poems are included, by permission, from the reprint of “Lilliput Lectures,” which I lately edited for Mr. James Bowden. Messrs. Dalziel have allowed me to use one from “Hood’s Comic Annual.” All other rights belonged to Mr. Strahan, and have been transferred, with the full concurrence of Mr. P. W. Rands, to Mr. John Lane for this volume. Nothing has been included from “Innocent’s Island,” which we hope to reprint shortly with some of the “Lilliput Revels.”
These are poems for children, with whom Rands was always at his best, and have been chosen in remembrance of their tastes and understandings. As many of them are printed from magazines and never received the author’s final revision, I have occasionally edited the text, without scruple, by omitting weak lines or even altering a word._
_R. B. J._
The End of the Editor’s Note
[A] _A portion of the Introductory Verses to “Lilliput Legends” is also included._
_RAT-TAT! the postman knocks!_ _This is the Lilliput letter-box._ _A penny for your thoughts, my dear!_ _So said the Raven in Odin’s ear._ _Here comes a letter from Thing-a-my-Bob,_ _A letter from Ruth, a letter from Rob._ _Rat-tat! the postman knocks!_ _This is the Lilliput letter-box._
CONTENTS
_LYRICS_
_Lilliput Levee_ _Page_ 17
_Doll Poems_
1. _The Picture_ 24
2. _The Love Story_ 25
3. _Dressing Her_ 27
_The Little Doll’s House in Arcady_ 30
_The Pedlar’s Caravan_ 35
_The First Tooth_ 37
_Praise and Love_ 40
_Two Pictures_ 43
_The Ship that Sailed into the Sun_ 46
_The Young Exile_ 48
_The Coming Storm_ 51
_The Discontented Yew-Tree_ 52
_The Little Brother_ 55
_Cuckoo in the Pear-Tree_ 57
_Madcap_ 59
_The Bewitched Toys; or, Queen Mab in Child-World_ 65
_The New World_ 72
_Lina and her Lamb_ 75
_The Boy that Loves a Baby_ 78
_Harold and Alice; or, The Reformed Giant_ 81
_Prince Philibert_ 91
_Gold-Boy and Green-Girl_ 94
_At Harvest-Time_ 97
_See-Saw_ 99
_Great, Wide, Beautiful, Wonderful World_ 101
_Kittens and Chickens_ 103
_The Making of the Music_ 106
_The Race of the Flowers_ 109
_Polly_ 112
_The Windmill_ 116
_The Girl that Garibaldi Kissed_ 118
_Seeing God_ 122
_Fair Lady, Rare Lady_ 124
_The Absent Boy_ 126
_Morning_ 129
_The Rising, Watching Moon_ 131
_The Flowers_ 133
_The Penance of the Little Maid_ 135
_Frodgedobbulum’s Fancy_ 137
_The Guinea-Pig_ 148
_Little Boy Blue_ 150
_Miss Hooper_ 152
_A Shooting Song_ 156
_A Fishing Song_ 158
_Shockheaded Cicely and the Two Bears_ 161
_Mother’s Joy_ 168
_The Baby_ 170
_What will Auntie send?_ 173
_Lords-and-Ladies_ 176
_The Dog and the Patch of Moonshine_ 178
_Autumn Song_ 182
_The Drummer-Boy and the Shepherdess_ 184
_Lullaby_ 186
_Clean Clara_ 188
_The Lavender Beds_ 191
_LITTLE DITTIES_ 194
_BABY’S BELLS_ 237
_NONSENSE RHYMES_
_Tuesday_ 279
_Jolly Jack_ 281
_The Duck and her Ducklings_ 282
_Little Ben Bute_ 284
_The Dream of a Girl who Lived at Seven-Oaks_ 286
_The Dream of a Boy who Lived at Nine-Elms_ 287
_Four Little Histories_ 289
_A Big Noise_ 294
_The Alarm_ 295
_Cicero Brick_ 297
_The Obstinate Cow_ 301
_Lavender Lady_ 304
_Odd Rhymes_ 311
_Topsyturvey-World_ 316
_Miss Waver_ 319
_Jeremy Jangle_ 320
_Stalky Jack_ 322
_The Fiddler and the Crocodile_ 324
_L’Envoi_ 330
Lyrics
LILLIPUT LEVEE
Where does Pinafore Palace stand? Right in the middle of Lilliput-land! There the Queen eats bread-and-honey, There the King counts up his money!
Oh, the Glorious Revolution! Oh, the Provisional Constitution! Now that the children, clever bold folks, Have turned the tables upon the Old Folks!
Easily the thing was done, For the children were more than two to one; Brave as lions, quick as foxes, With hoards of wealth in their money-boxes!
They seized the keys, they patrolled the street, They drove the policeman off his beat, They built barricades, they stationed sentries-- You must give the word, when you come to the entries!
They dressed themselves, in the Riflemen’s clothes, They had pea-shooters, they had arrows and bows, So as to put resistance down-- Order regions in Lilliput-town!
They made the baker bake hot rolls, They made the wharfinger send in coals, They made the butcher kill the calf, They cut the telegraph-wires in half.
They went to the chemists, and with their feet They kicked the physic all down the street; They went to the schoolroom and tore the books, They munched the puffs at the pastrycook’s.
They sucked the jam, they lost the spoons, They sent up several fire-balloons, They let off crackers, they burnt a guy, They piled a bonfire ever so high.
They offered a prize for the laziest boy, And one for the most Magnificent toy; They split or burnt the canes offhand, They made new laws in Lilliput-land.
_Never do to-day what you can Put off till to-morrow_, one of them ran; _Late to bed and late to rise_ Was another law which they did devise.
They passed a law to have always plenty Of beautiful things: we shall mention twenty: A magic lantern for all to see, Rabbits to keep, and a Christmas-tree,
A boat, a house that went on wheels, An organ to grind, and sherry at meals, Drums and wheelbarrows, Roman candles, Whips with whistles let into the handles,
A real live giant, a roc to fly, A goat to tease, a copper to sky, A garret of apples, a box of paints, A saw and a hammer, and no complaints.
Nail up the door, slide down the stairs, Saw off the legs of the parlour chairs-- That was the way in Lilliput-land, The children having the upper hand.
They made the Old Folks come to school, And in pinafores,--that was the rule,-- Saying, _Eener-deener-diner-duss, Kattler-wheeler-whiler-wuss_;
They made them learn all sorts of things That nobody liked. They had catechisings; They kept them in, they sent them down In class, in school, in Lilliput-town.
O but they gave them tit-for-tat! Thick bread-and-butter, and all that; Stick-jaw pudding that tires your chin, With the marmalade spread ever so thin!
They governed the clock in Lilliput-land, They altered the hour or the minute-hand, They made the day fast, they made the day slow, Just as they wished the time to go.
They never waited for king or for cat; They never wiped their shoes on the mat; Their joy was great; their joy was greater; They rode in the baby’s perambulator!
There was a Levee in Lilliput-town, At Pinafore Palace. Smith and Brown, Jones and Robinson had to attend-- All to whom they cards did send.
Every one rode in a cab to the door; Every one came in a pinafore; Lady and gentleman, rat-tat-tat, Loud knock, proud knock, opera hat!
The place was covered with silver and gold, The place was as full as it ever could hold; The ladies kissed her Majesty’s hand, Such was the custom in Lilliput-land.
His Majesty knighted eight or ten, Perhaps a score, of the gentlemen, Some of them short and some of them tall-- _Arise, Sir What’s-a-name What-do-you-call_!
Nuts and nutmeg (that’s in the negus); The bill of fare would perhaps fatigue us; Forty-five fiddlers to play the fiddle; Right foot, left foot, down the middle.
Conjuring tricks with the poker and tongs, Riddles and forfeits, singing of songs; One fat man, too fat by far, Tried “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”
His voice was gruff, his pinafore tight, His wife said, “Mind, dear, sing it right,” But he forgot, and said Fa-la-la! The Queen of Lilliput’s own papa!
She frowned, and ordered him up to bed: He said he was sorry; she shook her head; His clean shirt-front with his tears was stained-- But discipline had to be maintained.
The Constitution! The Law! The Crown! Order reigns in Lilliput-town! The Queen is Jill, and the King is John; I trust the Government will get on.
I noticed, being a man of rhymes, An advertisement in the _Lilliput Times_:-- “PINAFORE PALACE. This is to state That the Court is in want of a Laureate.
“Nothing menial required. Poets, willing to be hired, May send in Specimens at once, Care of the Chamberlain DOUBLEDUNCE.”
Said I to myself Here’s a chance for me The Lilliput Laureate for to be! And these are the Specimens I sent in To Pinafore Palace. Shall I win?
PUBLIC NOTICE.--_This is to state_ _That these are the specimens left at the gate_ _Of Pinafore Palace, exact to date,_ _In the hands of the porter, Curlypate,_ _Who sits in his plush on a chair of state,_ _By the gentleman who is a candidate_ _For the office of_ LILLIPUT LAUREATE.
DOLL POEMS
I
THE PICTURE
This is her picture--Dolladine-- The beautifullest doll that ever was seen! Oh, what nosegays! Oh, what sashes! Oh, what beautiful eyes and lashes!
Oh, what a precious perfect pet! On each instep a pink rosette; Little blue shoes for her little blue tots; Elegant ribbons in bows and knots.
Her hair is powdered; her arms are straight, Only feel--she is quite a weight! Her legs are limp, though;--stand up, miss!-- What a beautiful buttoned-up mouth to kiss!
II
THE LOVE STORY
This is the doll with respect to whom A story is told that ends in gloom; For there was a sensitive little sir Went out of his mind for love of her!
They pulled a wire, she moved her eye; They squeezed the bellows, they made her cry; But the boy could never be persuaded That these were really things which _they_ did.
“My Dolladine,” he said, “has life; I love her, and she shall be my wife; Dainty delicate Dolladine, The prettiest girl that ever was seen!”
To give his passion a chance to cool, They sent the lover to boarding-school. But absence only made it worse-- He never learnt anything, prose or verse!
He drew her likeness on his slate; His Grammar was in a _dreadful_ state, With Dolladine all over the edges, And true-love knots, and vows, and pledges.
What was the consequence?--Doctor Whack Begged of his parents to take him back. When his condition, poor boy, was seen, Too late, they sent for Dolladine.
And now he will never part with her: He calls her lily, and rose, and myrrh, Dolly-o’-diamonds, precious lamb, Humming-bird, honey-pot, jewel, jam,
Darling, delicate-dear-delight, Angel-o’-red, angel-o’-white, Queen of beauty, and suchlike names; In fact all manner of darts and flames!
Of course, while he keeps up this wooing His education goes to ruin: What are his prospects in future life, With only a doll for his lawful wife?
It is feared his parents’ hearts will break! And there’s one remark I wish to make: I may be wrong, but it seems a pity For a movable doll to be made too pretty.
An old-fashioned doll, that is not like nature, Can never pass for a human creature; It is in a doll that moves her eyes That the danger of these misfortunes lies!
The lover’s name must be suppressed For obvious reasons. He lives out west, And if I call him Pygmalion Pout, I don’t believe you will find him out!
III
DRESSING HER
This is the way we dress the Doll:-- You may make her a shepherdess, the Doll, If you give her a crook with a pastoral hook, But this is the way we dress the Doll.
_Chorus:_ Bless the Doll, you may press the Doll, But do not crumple and mess the Doll! This is the way we dress the Doll.
First, you observe her little chemise, As white as milk, with ruches of silk; And the little drawers that cover her knees, As she sits or stands, with golden bands, And lace in beautiful filagrees.
_Chorus:_ Bless the Doll, you may press the Doll, But do not crumple or mess the Doll! This is the way we dress the Doll.
Now these are the bodies: she has two, One of pink, with ruches of blue, And sweet white lace; be careful, do! And one of green, with buttons of sheen, Buttons and bands of gold, I mean, With lace on the border in lovely order, The most expensive we can afford her!
_Chorus:_ Bless the Doll, you may press the Doll, But do not crumple or mess the Doll! This is the way we dress the Doll.
Then, with black at the border, jacket; And this--and this--she will not lack it; Skirts? Why, there are skirts, of course, And shoes and stockings we shall enforce, With a proper bodice, in the proper place (Stays that lace have had their days And made their martyrs); likewise garters, All entire. But our desire Is to show you her night attire, At least a part of it. Pray admire This sweet white thing that she goes to bed in! It’s not the one that’s made for her wedding; _That_ is special, a new design, Made with a charm and a countersign, Three times three and nine times nine: These are only her usual clothes: Look, _there’s_ a wardrobe! gracious knows It’s pretty enough, as far as it goes!
So you see the way we dress the Doll: You might make her a shepherdess, the Doll, If you gave her a crook with a pastoral hook, With sheep, and a shed, and a shallow brook, And all that, out of the poetry-book.
_Chorus:_ Bless the Doll, you may press the Doll, But do not crumple and mess the Doll! This is the way we dress the Doll; If you had not seen, could you guess the Doll?
THE LITTLE DOLL’S HOUSE IN ARCADY
The boys and girls were exceeding gay, With billycock bonnets and curds and whey, And I thought that I was in Arcady, For the fringe of the forest was fair to see.
But the very first hayrick that I came to Did turn to a Doll’s House, fair and true; I saw with my eyes where the same did sit, And there was a rainbow over it.
The people inside were setting the platters, The chairs and tables, and suchlike matters, And making the beds and getting the tea: But through a bow-window I saw the sea.
Up came a damsel: “Sir,” she said, “Will you walk with me by my garden bed? Will you sit in my parlour by-and-by?” “I will sit in your parlour, my dear,” said I.
“Will you hear my starling gossip?” said she, And now I felt sure it was Arcady; But a starling never could do the rhyming That very soon in my ears was chiming:--
“Jigglum-jogglum, Lilliputlandum, Twopenny tiptop, sugaricandum, Snip-snap snorum, hot-cross buns, Conjugatorum, double-dunce.
“Fannyfold funnyface, fairy-tale, Cat in a cockle-boat, wigglum-whale, Dickory-dolphin, humpty-hoo, Floppety-fluteykin, tootle-tum-too.”
Said I, “There may be a clown outside, And a clown I never could yet abide,-- A picker and stealer, a clumsy joker, Who stirs up his friends with a burning poker.
“But perhaps,” said I, “I mistake the plan; It may be the Punch-and-Judy man, Or the other, that keeps the galante show And the marionettes, for what I know.”
Then I opened the window through thick and thin, And in with a bounce came a Harlequin, And very distinctly I heard a band Strike up the dances of Lilliput Land.
To wonder at this I did incline, “And where,” said I, “is the Columbine-- Tip-toe twist-about, shimmer and shine, Where is the beautiful Columbine?”
Then out from the curtains, all shimmer and shine, With a rose-red sash came Columbine, And Harlequin took her by the hand, And they stepped it out in Lilliput Land; Twirl about, whirl about, shimmer and shine, O a rose-red sash had Columbine!
Then one of the folks who had set the tea In Doll’s House fashion, did climb my knee, And he said, “Would you like, sir, to take a trip With me? Have you seen my little ship?”
The ship, as he called it, was certainly small, For the dot of a sailor could carry it all: So both got in, and away went we, Coasting the sea-board of Arcady.
Then I told a story, and he told one, But they both got mixed before they were done; And so did we, as the day grew dim, And the child was myself, and myself was him.
But now it was getting time to land, So I stepped into Fleet Street, and went up the Strand, For I thought I should like to study the trade They drive in toys at the Lowther Arcade.
And whom should I see, at a Doll’s House door, But the very same damsel I met before! “I thought I should see you again,” says she; “And a few of my friends will be here to tea.”
Then the Punch-and-Judy man came in, And Columbine and the Harlequin, The man that patters in front of the show, And the children--and how their tongues did go!
But what makes the place so sweet? thought I, As scents of the heather and furze went by, And with them a whiff of the rolling sea;-- And then I remembered Arcady, As the party were tittering over the tea.
THE PEDLAR’S CARAVAN
I wish I lived in a caravan, With a horse to drive, like a pedlar-man! Where he comes from nobody knows, Or where he goes to, but on he goes!
His caravan has windows two, And a chimney of tin, that the smoke comes through; He has a wife, with a baby brown, And they go riding from town to town.
Chairs to mend, and delf to sell! He clashes the basins like a bell; Tea-trays, baskets ranged in order, Plates, with alphabets round the border!
The roads are brown, and the sea is green, But his house is like a bathing-machine; The world is round, and he can ride, Rumble and slash, to the other side!
With the pedlar-man I should like to roam, And write a book when I came home; All the people would read my book, Just like the Travels of Captain Cook!
THE FIRST TOOTH
There once was a wood, and a very thick wood, So thick that to walk was as much as you could; But a sunbeam got in, and the trees understood.
I went to this wood, at the end of the snows, And as I was walking I saw a primrose; Only one! Shall I show you the place where it grows?
There once was a house, and a very dark house, As dark, I believe, as the hole of a mouse, Or a tree in my wood, at the thick of the boughs.
I went to this house, and I searched it aright, I opened the chambers, and I found a light; Only one! Shall I show you this little lamp bright?
There once was a cave, and this very dark cave One day took a gift from an incoming wave; And I made up my mind to know what the sea gave.
I took a lit torch, I walked round the ness When the water was lowest; and in a recess In my cave was a jewel. Will nobody guess?
O there was a baby, he sat on my knee, With a pearl in his mouth that was precious to me, His little dark mouth like my cave of the sea!
I said to my heart, “And my jewel is bright! He blooms like a primrose! He shines like a light!” Put your hand in his mouth! Do you feel? He can bite!
PRAISE AND LOVE
Tell me, Praise, and tell me, Love, What you both are thinking of?
“Oh, we think,” said Love, said Praise, “Now of children and their ways.”
Give me of your cup to drink, Praise, and tell me all you think.
“Oh, I think of crowns of gold For the clever and the bold.”