Chapter 3

“I know,” answered Ruth, quickly, “something of the same kind once happened to me, only it wasn't pride that held me back--it was just plain stubbornness. Sometimes I am conscious of two selves--one of me is a nice, polite person that I'm really fond of, and the other is so contrary and so mulish that I'm actually afraid of her. When the two come in conflict, the stubborn one always wins. I'm sorry, but I can't help it.”

“Don't you think we're all like that?” asked Miss Ainslie, readily understanding. “I do not believe any one can have strength of character without being stubborn. To hold one's position in the face of obstacles, and never be tempted to yield--to me, that seems the very foundation.”

“Yes, but to be unable to yield when you know you should--that's awful.”

“Is it?” inquired Miss Ainslie, with quiet amusement.

“Ask Aunt Jane,” returned Ruth, laughing. “I begin to perceive our definite relationship.”

Miss Ainslie leaned forward to put another maple log on the fire. “Tell me more about Aunt Jane,” Ruth suggested. “I'm getting to be somebody's relative, instead of an orphan, stranded on the shore of the world.”

“She's hard to analyse,” began the older woman. “I have never been able to reconcile her firmness with her softness. She's as hard as New England granite, but I think she wears it like a mask. Sometimes, one sees through. She scolds me very often, about anything that occurs to her, but I never pay any attention to it. She says I shouldn't live here all alone, and that I deserve to have something dreadful happen to me, but she had all the trees cut down that stood on the hill between her window and mine, and had a key made to my lower door, and made me promise that if I was ill at any time, I would put a signal in my window--a red shawl in the daytime and a light at night. I hadn't any red shawl and she gave me hers.

“One night--I shall never forget it--I had a terrible attack of neuralgia, during the worst storm I have ever known. I didn't even know that I put the light in the window--I was so beside myself with pain--but she came, at two o'clock in the morning, and stayed with me until I was all right again. She was so gentle and so tender--I shall always love her for that.”

The sweet voice vibrated with feeling, and Ruth's thoughts flew to the light in the attic window, but, no--it could not be seen from Miss Ainslie's. “What does Aunt Jane look like?” she asked, after a pause.

“I haven't a picture, except one that was taken a long time ago, but I'll get that.” She went upstairs and returned, presently, putting an old-fashioned ambrotype into Ruth's hand.

The velvet-lined case enshrined Aunt Jane in the bloom of her youth. It was a young woman of twenty or twenty-five, seated in a straight-backed chair, with her hands encased in black lace mitts and folded in the lap of her striped silk gown. The forehead was high, protruding slightly, the eyes rather small, and very dark, the nose straight, and the little chin exceedingly firm and determined. There was an expression of maidenly wistfulness somewhere, which Ruth could not definitely locate, but there was no hint of it in the chin.

“Poor little Aunt Jane,” said Ruth. “Life never would be easy for her.”

“No,” returned Miss Ainslie, “but she would not let anyone know.”

Ruth strolled over to the window, thinking that she must be going, and Miss Ainslie still held the picture in her hand. “She had a lover, didn't she?” asked Ruth, idly.

“I-I-think so,” answered the other, unwillingly. “You remember we quarrelled.”

A young man stopped in the middle of the road, looked at Miss Ainslie's house, and then at the brown one across the hill. From her position in the window, Ruth saw him plainly. He hesitated a moment, then went toward the brown house. She noted that he was a stranger--there was no such topcoat in the village.

“Was his name Winfield?” she asked suddenly, then instantly hated herself for the question.

The ambrotype fell to the floor. Miss Ainslie stooped to pick it up and Ruth did not see her face. “Perhaps,” she said, in a strange tone, “but I never have asked a lady the name of her friend.”

Gentle as it was, Ruth felt the rebuke keenly. An apology was on her lips, but only her flushed cheeks betrayed any emotion. Miss Ainslie's face was pale, and there was unmistakable resentment in her eyes.

“I must go,” Ruth said, after an awkward silence, and in an instant Miss Ainslie was herself again.

“No-you mustn't go, deary. You haven't seen my garden yet. I have planted all the seeds and some of them are coming up. Isn't it beautiful to see things grow?”

“It is indeed,” Ruth assented, forgetting the momentary awkwardness, “and I have lived for a long time where I have seen nothing grow but car tracks and high buildings. May I come again and see your garden?”

“I shall be so glad to have you,” replied Miss Ainslie, with a quaint stateliness. “I have enjoyed your visit so much and I hope you will come again very soon.”

“Thank you--I will.”

Her hostess had opened the door for her, but Ruth stood in the hall, waiting, in obedience to some strange impulse. Then she stepped outside, but something held her back-something that lay unspoken between them. Those unfathomable eyes were fixed upon her, questioning, pleading, and searching her inmost soul.

Ruth looked at her, wondering, and striving to answer the mute appeal. Then Miss Ainslie laid her hand upon her arm. “My dear,” she asked, earnestly, “do you light the lamp in the attic window every night?”

“Yes, I do, Miss Ainslie,” she answered, quickly.

The older woman caught her breath, as if in relief, and then the deep crimson flooded her face.

“Hepsey told me and Aunt Jane left a letter about it,” Ruth continued, hastily, “and I am very glad to do it. It would be dreadful to have a ship wrecked, almost at our door.”

“Yes,” sighed Miss Ainslie, her colour receding, “I have often thought of 'those who go down to the sea in ships.' It is so terrible, and sometimes, when I hear the surf beating against the cliff, I--I am afraid.”

Ruth climbed the hill, interested, happy, yet deeply disturbed. Miss Ainslie's beautiful, changing face seemed to follow her, and the exquisite scent of the lavender, which had filled the rooms, clung to her senses like a benediction.

Hepsey was right, and unquestionably Miss Ainslie had something to do with the light; but no deep meaning lay behind it--so much was certain. She had lived alone so long that she had grown to have a great fear of shipwreck, possibly on account of her friend, the “seafaring gentleman,” and had asked Miss Hathaway to put the light in the window--that was all.

Ruth's reason was fully satisfied, but something else was not. “I'm not going to think about it any more,” she said to herself, resolutely, and thought she meant it.

She ate her dinner with the zest of hunger, while Hepsey noiselessly served her. “I have been to Miss Ainslie's, Hepsey,” she said at length, not wishing to appear unsociable.

The maid's clouded visage cleared for an instant. “Did you find out about the lamp?” she inquired, eagerly.

“No, I didn't, Hepsey; but I'll tell you what I think. Miss Ainslie has read a great deal and has lived alone so much that she has become very much afraid of shipwreck. You know all of us have some one fear. For instance, I am terribly afraid of green worms, though a green worm has never harmed me. I think she asked Miss Hathaway to put the lamp in the window, and possibly told her of something she had read which made her feel that she should have done it before.”

Hepsey's face took on its old, impenetrable calm.

“Don't you think so?” asked Miss Thorne, after a long pause.

“Yes'm.”

“It's all very reasonable, isn't it?”

“Yes'm.”

In spite of the seeming assent, she knew that Hepsey was not convinced; and afterward, when she came into the room with the attic lamp and a box of matches, the mystery returned to trouble Ruth again.

“If I don't take up tatting,” she thought, as she went upstairs, “or find something else to do, I'll be a meddling old maid inside of six months.”

IV. A Guest

As the days went by, Ruth had the inevitable reaction. At first the country brought balm to her tired nerves, and she rested luxuriously, but she had not been at Miss Hathaway's a fortnight before she bitterly regretted the step she had taken.

Still there was no going back, for she had given her word, and must stay there until October. The months before her stretched out into a dreary waste. She thought of Miss Ainslie gratefully, as a redeeming feature, but she knew that it was impossible to spend all of her time in the house--it the foot of the hill.

Half past six had seemed an unearthly hour for breakfast, and yet more than once Ruth had been downstairs at five o'clock, before Hepsey was stiring. There was no rest to be had anywhere, even after a long walk through the woods and fields. Inaction became irritation, and each day was filled with a thousand unbearable annoyances. She was fretful, moody, and restless, always wishing herself back in the office, yet knowing that she could not do good work, even if she were there.

She sat in her room one afternoon, frankly miserable, when Hepsey stalked in, unannounced, and gave her a card.

“Mr. Carl Winfield!” Ruth repeated aloud. “Some one to see me, Hepsey?” she asked, in astonishment.

“Yes'm. He's a-waitin' on the piazzer.”

“Didn't you ask him to come in?”

“No'm. Miss Hathaway, she don't want no strangers in her house.”

“Go down immediately,” commanded Ruth, sternly, “ask him into the parlour, and say that Miss Thorne will be down in a few moments.”

“Yes'm.”

Hepsey shuffled downstairs with comfortable leisure, opened the door with aggravating slowness, then said, in a harsh tone that reached the upper rooms distinctly: “Miss Thorne, she says that you can come in and set in the parlour till she comes down.”

“Thank you,” responded a masculine voice, in quiet amusement; “Miss Thorne is kind--and generous.”

Ruth's cheeks flushed hotly. “I don't know whether Miss Thorne will go down or not,” she said to herself. “It's probably a book-agent.”

She rocked pensively for a minute or two, wondering what would happen if she did not go down. There was no sound from the parlour save a subdued clearing of the throat. “He's getting ready to speak his piece,” she thought, “and he might as well do it now as to wait for me.”

Though she loathed Mr. Carl Winfield and his errand, whatever it might prove to be, she stopped before her mirror long enough to give a pat or two to her rebellious hair. On the way down she determined to be dignified, icy, and crushing.

A tall young fellow with a pleasant face rose to greet her as she entered the room. “Miss Thorne?” he inquired.

“Yes--please sit down. I am very sorry that my maid should have been so inhospitable.” It was not what she had meant to say.

“Oh, that's all right,” he replied, easily; “I quite enjoyed it. I must ask your pardon for coming to you in this abrupt way, but Carlton gave me a letter to you, and I've lost it.” Carlton was the managing editor, and vague expectations of a summons to the office came into Ruth's mind.

“I'm on The Herald,” he went on; “that is, I was, until my eyes gave out, and then they didn't want me any more. Newspapers can't use anybody out of repair,” he added, grimly.

“I know,” Ruth answered, nodding.

“Of course the office isn't a sanitarium, though they need that kind of an annex; nor yet a literary kindergarten, which I've known it to be taken for, but--well, I won't tell you my troubles. The oculist said I must go to the country for six months, stay outdoors, and neither read nor write. I went to see Carlton, and he promised me a berth in the Fall--they're going to have a morning edition, too, you know.”

Miss Thorne did not know, but she was much interested.

“Carlton advised me to come up here,” resumed Winfield. “He said you were here, and that you were going back in the Fall. I'm sorry I've lost his letter.”

“What was in it?” inquired Ruth, with a touch of sarcasm. “You read it, didn't you?”

“Of course I read it--that is, I tried to. The thing looked like a prescription, but, as nearly as I could make it out, it was principally a description of the desolation in the office since you left it. At the end there was a line or two commending me to your tender mercies, and here I am.”

“Commending yourself.”

“Now what in the dickens have I done?” thought Winfield. “That's it exactly, Miss Thorne. I've lost my reference, and I'm doing my best to create a good impression without it. I thought that as long as we were going to be on the same paper, and were both exiles--”

He paused, and she finished the sentence for him: “that you'd come to see me. How long have you been in town?”

“'In town' is good,” he said. “I arrived in this desolate, God-forsaken spot just ten days ago. Until now I've hunted and fished every day, but I didn't get anything but a cold. It was very good, of its kind--I couldn't speak above a whisper for three days.”

She had already recognised him as the young man she saw standing in the road the day she went to Miss Ainslie's, and mentally asked his pardon for thinking he was a book-agent. He might become a pleasant acquaintance, for he was tall, clean shaven, and well built. His hands were white and shapely and he was well groomed, though not in the least foppish. The troublesome eyes were dark brown, sheltered by a pair of tinted glasses. His face was very expressive, responding readily to every change of mood.

They talked “shop” for a time, discovering many mutual friends, and Ruth liked him. He spoke easily, though hurriedly, and appeared to be somewhat cynical, but she rightly attributed it to restlessness like her own.

“What are you going to do on The Tribune?” she asked.

“Anything,” he answered, with an indefinable shrug. “'Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die.' What are you going to do?”

“The same,” replied Ruth. “'Society,' 'Mother's Corner,' 'Under the Evening Lamp,' and 'In the Kitchen with Aunt Jenny.'”

He laughed infectiously. “I wish Carlton could hear you say that.”

“I don't,” returned Ruth, colouring faintly.

“Why; are you afraid of him?”

“Certainly I am. If he speaks to me, I'm instantly stiff with terror.”

“Oh, he isn't so bad,” said Winfield, reassuringly, “He's naturally abrupt, that's all; and I'll venture he doesn't suspect that he has any influence over you. I'd never fancy that you were afraid of anybody or anything on earth.”

“I'm not afraid of anything else,” she answered, “except burglars and green worms.”

“Carlton would enjoy the classification--really, Miss Thorne, somebody should tell him, don't you think? So much innocent pleasure doesn't often come into the day of a busy man.”

For a moment Ruth was angry, and then, all at once, she knew Winfield as if he had always been her friend. Conventionality, years, and the veneer of society were lightly laid upon one who would always be a boy. Some men are old at twenty, but Winfield would be young at seventy.

“You can tell him if you want to,” Ruth rejoined, calmly. “He'll be so pleased that he'll double your salary on the spot.”

“And you?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with fun.

“I'll be pensioned, of course.”

“You're all right,” he returned, “but I guess I won't tell him. Riches lead to temptation, and if I'm going to be on The Tribune I'd hate to have you pensioned.”

Hepsey appeared to have a great deal of employment in the dining-room, and was very quiet about it, with long pauses between her leisurely movements. Winfield did not seem to notice it, but it jarred upon Ruth, and she was relieved when he said he must go.

“You'll come again, won't you?” she asked.

“I will, indeed.”

She stood at the window, unconsciously watching him as he went down the hill with a long, free stride. She liked the strength in his broad shoulders, his well modulated voice, and his clear, honest eyes; but after all he was nothing but a boy.

“Miss Thorne,” said Hepsey, at her elbow, “is that your beau?” It was not impertinence, but sheer friendly interest which could not be mistaken for anything else.

“No,” she answered; “of course not.”

“He's real nice-lookin', ain't he?

“Yes.”

“Have you got your eye on anybody else?”

“No.”

“Then, Miss Thorne, I don't know's you could do better.”

“Perhaps not.” She was thinking, and spoke mechanically. From where she stood she could still see him walking rapidly down the hill.

“Ain't you never seen him before?”

Miss Thorne turned. “Hepsey,” she said, coldly, “please go into the kitchen and attend to your work. And the next time I have company, please stay in the kitchen--not in the dining-room.”

“Yes'm,” replied Hepsey, meekly, hastening to obey.

She was not subtle, but she understood that in some way she had offended Miss Thorne, and racked her brain vainly. She had said nothing that she would not have said to Miss Hathaway, and had intended nothing but friendliness. As for her being in the dining-room--why, very often, when Miss Hathaway had company, she was called in to give her version of some bit of village gossip. Miss Hathaway scolded her when she was displeased, but never before had any one spoken to Hepsey in a measured, icy tone that was at once lady-like and commanding. Tears came into her eyes, for she was sensitive, after all.

A step sounded overhead, and Hepsey regained her self-possession. She had heard nearly all of the conversation and could have told Miss Thorne a great deal about the young man. For instance, he had not said that he was boarding at Joe's, across the road from Miss Ainslie's, and that he intended to stay all Summer. She could have told her of an uncertain temper, peculiar tastes, and of a silver shaving-cup which Joe had promised her a glimpse of before the visitor went back to the city; but she decided to let Miss Thorne go on in her blind ignorance.

Ruth, meanwhile, was meditating, with an aggravated restlessness. The momentary glimpse of the outer world had stung her into a sense of her isolation, which she realised even more keenly than before. It was because of this, she told herself, that she hoped Winfield liked her, for it was not her wont to care about such trifles. He thought of her, idly, as a nice girl, who was rather pretty when she was interested in anything; but, with a woman's insight, influenced insensibly by Hepsey's comment, Ruth scented possibilities.

She wanted him to like her, to stay in that miserable village as long as she did, and keep her mind from stagnation--her thought went no further than that. In October, when they went back, she would thank Carlton, prettily, for sending her a friend--provided they did not quarrel. She could see long days of intimate companionship, of that exalted kind which is, possible only when man and woman meet on a high plane. “We're both too old for nonsense,” she thought; and then a sudden fear struck her, that Winfield might be several years younger than she was.

Immediately she despised herself. “I don't care if he is,” she thought, with her cheeks crimson; “it's nothing to me. He's a nice boy, and I want to be amused.”

She went to her dresser, took out the large top drawer, and dumped its contents on the bed. It was a desperate measure, for Ruth hated to put things in order. The newspaper which had lain in the bottom of it had fallen out also, and she shook it so violently that she tore it.

Then ribbons, handkerchiefs, stocks, gloves, and collars were unceremoniously hustled back into the drawer, for Miss Thorne was at odds with herself and the world. She was angry with Hepsey, she hated Winfield, and despised herself. She picked up a scrap of paper which lay on a glove, and caught a glimpse of unfamiliar penmanship.

It was apparently the end of a letter, and the rest of it was gone. “At Gibraltar for some time,” she read, “keeping a shop, but will probably be found now in some small town on the coast of Italy. Very truly yours.” The signature had been torn off.

“Why, that isn't mine,” she thought. “It must be something of Aunt Jane's.” Another bit of paper lay near it, and, unthinkingly, she read a letter which was not meant for her.

“I thank you from my heart,” it began, “for understanding me. I could not put it into words, but I believe you know. Perhaps you think it is useless--that it is too late; but if it was, I would know. You have been very kind, and I thank you.”

There was neither date, address, nor signature. The message stood alone, as absolutely as some far-off star whose light could not be seen from the earth. Some one understood it--two understood it--the writer and Aunt Jane.

Ruth put it back under the paper, with the scrap of the other letter, and closed the drawer with a bang. “I hope,” she said to herself, “that while I stay here I'll be mercifully preserved from finding things that are none of my business.” Then, as in a lightning flash, for an instant she saw clearly.

Fate plays us many tricks and assumes strange forms, but Ruth knew that some day, on that New England hill, she would come face to face with a destiny that had been ordained from the beginning. Something waited for her there--some great change. She trembled at the thought, but was not afraid.

V. The Rumours of the Valley

“Miss Thorne,” said Hepsey, from the doorway of Ruth's room, “that feller's here again.” There was an unconscious emphasis on the last word, and Ruth herself was somewhat surprised, for she had not expected another call so soon.

“He's a-settin' 'n in the parlour,” continued Hepsey, “when he ain't a-walkin' around it and wearin' out the carpet. I didn't come up when he first come, on account of my pie crust bein' all ready to put in the oven.”

“How long has he been here?” asked Ruth, dabbing a bit of powder on her nose and selecting a fresh collar.

“Oh, p'raps half an hour.”

“That isn't right, Hepsey; when anyone comes you must tell me immediately. Never mind the pie crust next time.” Ruth endeavoured to speak kindly, but she was irritated at the necessity of making another apology.

When she went down, Winfield dismissed her excuses with a comprehensive wave of the hand. “I always have to wait when I go to call on a girl,” he said; “it's one of the most charming vagaries of the ever-feminine. I used to think that perhaps I wasn't popular, but every fellow I know has the same experience.”

“I'm an exception,” explained Ruth; “I never keep any one waiting. Of my own volition, that is,” she added, hastily, feeling his unspoken comment.

“I came up this afternoon to ask a favour of you,” he began. “Won't you go for a walk with me? It's wrong to stay indoors on a day like this.”

“Wait till I get my hat,” said Ruth, rising.

“Fifteen minutes is the limit,” he called to her, as she went upstairs.

She was back again almost immediately, and Hepsey watched them in wide-mouthed astonishment as they went down hill together, for it was not in her code of manners that “walking out” should begin so soon. When they approached Miss Ainslie's he pointed out the brown house across from it, on the other side of the hill.

“Yonder palatial mansion is my present lodging,” he volunteered, “and I am a helpless fly in the web of the 'Widder' Pendleton.”

“Pendleton,” repeated Ruth; “why, that's Joe's name.”

“It is,” returned Winfield, concisely. “He sits opposite me at the table, and wonders at my use of a fork. It is considered merely a spear for bread and meat at the 'Widder's.' I am observed closely at all times, and in some respects Joe admires me enough to attempt imitation, which, as you know, is the highest form of flattery. For instance, this morning he wore not only a collar and tie, but a scarf pin. It was a string tie, and I've never before seen a pin worn in one, but it's interesting.”

“It must be.”

“He has a sweetheart,” Winfield went on, “and I expect she'll be dazzled.”