Part 7
Mounting the barrel and securing a footing on its edge, he succeeded, by the help of a clothes-line which he looped on to the hook overhead, and which she stoutly grasped, in gradually extricating Betty from her savoury bath. Carefully he stroked the treacle from her as she rose ceilingwards, and, that no loss of merchandise might ensue, at the same time wiping her down with a cloth dipped in a bucket of water; thus all traces of Betty's misadventure were soon obliterated, and nobody but themselves was any the wiser.
Hiram, in recounting the circumstance to me, confidentially, after long years had elapsed, declared that the run on that hogshead was immense. It was relished by his customers, old and young, and was the occasion of more oatmeal being consumed in the village than had ever previously been known, so that what at first appeared to Hiram to be an irretrievable misfortune, turned out profitable in more ways than one.
"Eh! but, mon," said Hiram, shaking his head, and with a solemn countenance, "that hogshead o' treacle wur th' ruination o' me."
"Ruination!" I exclaimed in puzzled surprise. "How do you mean?"
"Well, yo' see, me and our Betty had been wed for three yer, and up to then we'd had no childer, but hoo began from that time forrud, and never once stopped till hoo had thirteen! Eh! that hogshead o' treacle wur t' ruination o' me!"
* * * * *
Mr Milner thus describes and explains a curious old Lancashire custom: "When a young fellow goes courting his sweetheart on a Friday night, the neighbours come out and ring a frying-pan to scare him away. The reason of the practice is clear. Friday is the especial night when in working men's houses the Penates are worshipped with pail and brush, and a fellow skulking about the place is an intrusion and a hindrance. In a quiet street the well-understood sound heard, then all the people rush to their doors, and probably catch a glimpse of the swain who loves not wisely but too well, darting down a passage or round a corner, glad to escape with his face unseen!"
"Riding the Stang," or pole, is still common in out-of-the-way Lancashire villages. It is usually resorted to in those rare instances where a wife has given her husband a thrashing. The neighbours mount a boy on a "stang," or pole, and carry him through the streets in the neighbourhood where the incident has occurred. The procession stops at intervals, and the boy recites the following doggerel rhymes to the accompaniment of the drumming of pans and kettles:--
"Ting, tong to the sign o' the pan! She has beat her good man. It was neither for boiled nor roast, But she up with her fist, an' Knocked down mesther, post!"
Some of the older two-storied houses in Bolton at one time were let out in flats, the upper floor being reached by a flight of about a dozen or fifteen steps running up outside the gable. These were generally unprotected by a handrail, and even the landing at the top was equally unprotected and dangerous. Dick Windle, noted as much for his reckless character as for his ready wit, was visiting an acquaintance whose domicile was reached by such a flight of steps as I have described. They had had a glass or two in the course of the evening, and, on leaving, Dick's head was none of the clearest; and although the night was not very dark, yet, emerging from the gaslighted room, the steps were not easily discernible. Instead of turning to the right as he came out by the door on to the landing, Dick strode clean off the landing edge in front of him, and came down with a crash to the bottom! Happily, except for a severe shaking, he was unhurt. Gathering himself up, and whilst yet on all fours, he called out to his friend, who was staring over the landing edge in consternation at Dick's sudden disappearance: "D--n it, Bill! How mony mooar steps is there o' this mak?" The prospect of a dozen more of the same depth before he could reach the street level, might well prompt the anxious question.
* * * * *
Journeying one day to fulfil a professional engagement at Whittingham Lunatic Asylum near Preston, I arrived at the Junction where passengers alight to reach the Asylum by the single line of railway which has been made expressly for the use of that institution.
It was a bleak winter day, the sleet was driving before a nor'-west wind, and I turned into the waiting-room at the station to warm myself at the fire until the engine with its two carriages came up the branch line. I happened to be the only passenger that had come by the train. As I sat on a chair with my feet on the fender at one side of the fire, a sturdy middle-aged man joined me, and seated himself also on a chair on the opposite side.
"Good morning," said I, by way of introduction. He looked intently at me for a second or two, as if to take stock whether I was a possible lunatic on my way to the House, and then replied: "Same to yo," bending towards the fire and warming his hands.
"I suppose that is the Lunatic Asylum that we can see over yonder," jerking my thumb towards the window through which the Asylum buildings were visible in the distance.
"Yai, it is," he replied, again looking intently in my face.
"There's a lot of mad folk in it, I suppose?"
"Ay, there is," was the answer.
"More than two thousand," I remarked.
"Ay, mooar than two thousand."
Here there was a pause for a minute in our conversation, when he blurted out with startling suddenness:
"Aw'm one o' th' mad 'uns!"
The information came upon me so unexpectedly, and was conveyed with such emphasis, and in such gruesome manner, that I could not help an involuntary start and an instinctive glance towards the waiting-room door to see whether it was open. Collecting myself, and pushing my chair back a bit to put a little more distance between us, I resumed:
"You're one o' th' mad 'uns, are you?"
"Ay, aw am."
"You don't look like it, friend," I said.
"Ay, but aw am, though!"
"Well, and how do you happen to be here?" I inquired.
"Why?" he replied, "Aw'm th' asylum poastman. Aw come to meet th' trains as brings th' poast-bags."
Just then the lilliputian train from the Asylum ran into the siding at the station, and my mad friend, shouldering the letter-bags that he had placed at the waiting-room door, got into the lunatic carriage and I into the other. The engine whistled, and away we sped down the line towards the abode of sorrow.
There was a pathetic humour in the conversation I had had with "one o' th' mad 'uns," and my reflections turned upon the varying degrees of madness that afflict not only the inmates of an asylum, but also we their more favoured brethren outside its walls.
INDEX
A
Ab' o' th' Yate, 3, 18, 101
Abram, Mr, Historian of Blackburn, 61
Abram o' Bobs, 91
Ale-taster of Rossendale, the, 101, 103
Amen, Little, 99
Animal food, 66
Ann o' th' Kiln and Judie, 89
Apostles' Creed, the, 77
Aspirate, dropping the, 61, 62, 63
Astronomer, Crabtree, the, 21
Asylum, Whittingham Lunatic, 128
Authors in Lancashire Dialect, 2, 5
B
Badger's shop, a, 123
Bailey, Sir William, 49
Ball, Canon, 122
Bamford, Samuel, 112
Barley Times, 85
Belmont Churchwardens, 67
Besom Ben, 3, 16
Bill o' Jack's, 92
Blackley, meeting at, 18
Bobbin, Tim, 2, 3, 10, 11, 12
Bobbins, thou'rt short o', 49
Bocking Warp, 99
Boring for compensation, 73
Brandwood, witch o', 112
Brierley Ben, 2, 5, 18, 75
Bright, John, 47, 48
Brooks, John, of Sunnyside, 94
Brooks, Sam, Manchester banker, 94, 95, 96
Bull-baiting in Rossendale, 83
Burs-holder, 103
C
Chaucer, 4
Christmas soiree, girl at, 37
Clare, O. Leigh, Q.C., M.P., 53, 63
Clegg, Trafford, 5
Coal strike in Lancashire, 55
Coger's Hall, 118
Collier, John, 2, 3, 10, 12
Consecrating the footpaths, 63
Co-op. Mills, 69
Coud an' hungry, 17
Court Leet, 103
Court, Halmot, 102
Crabtree, the astronomer, 21
Crawshaw, Squire, 122
Crawshawbooth Sabbath breakers, 110
Cronje at St Helens, 64
Cross, Lord, 52
D
Daisy year, a, 40
Derby, Lord, 54
Devil of a dog, a, 96
Deyghn Layrocks, 98, 100
Dialect, antiquity of the Lancashire, 3
Dick o' owd Sally's, 92
Dick, Spindle, 101
Disraeli, Mr Bright on, 48
District of Lancashire Dialect, choicest, 1, 2
Doffers, Lancashire Factory, 80
Dog's tail, cutting off a, 97
Drufty Ned, 120
Duckworth, Captain, 122
Duckworth, Mr, M.P. for Middleton, 54
Dulesgate, 114
E
Eccles and his coachman, 38
Election questions, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54
"Elijah," the Oratorio of, 67
F
Factory Doffers, 80
Fair, Kirk, 106
Fiddler, the old, 16
Fielden, Hiram, 123
Fielden, Mr, M.P. for Blackburn, 62
Fitton, Major, 122
Fitton's visit to the Earl o' Derby, 20
Flea and elephant, the, 39
Foreigners, prejudice against, 74
Fraser, Dr, Bishop of Manchester, 34
Free thoughts by a Manchester man, 32
Friday night courting, 126
Fry, J. Pease, 53
Funerals of the working classes, 41
G
Gaskell, Rev. W., M.A., on dialect, 4
Gas-lighting, 79
Gentleman Taylor, 108, 122
George, Long, constable of Bacup, 87
George o' Bob's, 92
Girl at Christmas soiree, 37
Gower, 4
Great Unpaid, the, 107
H
Hall, Dr, 122
Halliday, Thomas, 31
Halmot Court, 102
Hampson, R. J., on Quacks, 28
Handley, Mr, landlord of the "Derby," 57
Handloom days, in, 99, 114
Happy Simeon, 99
Hareholme Mill in Rossendale, 85
Hargreaves, George, J.P., 93
Harland, John, 84
Head-borough, 103
Hell Clough, 111
Hit or Miss, 120
Horace, quoted, 60
Hornby, Mr, M.P. for Blackburn, 62
Howorth, John, 114
Humour as a lever, 73
Hunchback, diminutive, 98
I
Image-maker and Buddha, the, 38
In handloom days, 99
Inspection, humours of School, 76, 77
Insular prejudice, 74
Irish and Lancashire humour compared, 55
Isle of Man tripper, 39
J
Jammie, Long, brid-stuffer, 19
Jobber Pilling's feyther, 92
John's uncle, 42
Jonson, Ben, 4
Justice Willes, 61
K
Kay, Billy, and his parrot, 19
Keene, Charles, picture in "Punch," 63
Kiln and Judie, Ann o' th', 89
Kirk Fair, 106
Knot Mill Fair, 76
Krooger, Owd, 64
L
Lahee, Miss, 5, 20, 122
Lamb, Rev. Robert, 32, 77
Lancashire character, examples of, 2, 5
Lancashire Dialect, antiquity of, 3
Lancashire Factory Doffers, 80
Lancashire man abroad, the, 74
Lancashire memories, by Mrs Potter, 35
Lancashire proverbs, 39
Landlord of the "Derby," the, 57
Laycock, Samuel, 5
Layrocks, Deyghn, 98, 100
Lectures, Gaskell's, on Lancashire Dialect, 4
Leyland character, a, 79
Little Amen, 99
Lobscouse, Dicky, of Leyland, 79
Long George, constable of Bacup, 87
Long Jammie, brid-stuffer, 19
Lunatic Asylum, Whittingham, 128
M
Maister George, 93
Malaprop, Mrs, 63
Manchester clergyman and the sick woman, the, 33
Manchester Court Leet Records, 84
Manchester Ship Canal, 70
Massey, Lord, 122
Memories, Lancashire, by Louise Potter, 35
Methuselah, Old, 99
Milestone, the, 58
Mill, Stuart, 37
Milner, George, 96, 126
Mining village, stranger in, 27
N
Nab, Rondle o' th', 17
Names of recognition, 92
Ned, Drufty, 120
Nuttall, John, 86
O
Old Trafford County cricket match, 24
Oldham woman and the New Jerusalem, 33
One o' th' mad 'uns, 129
Orange-woman and Ben Brierley, 75
Oratorio of "Elijah," the, 67
Ormerod, Oliver, 2, 12, 16
Owd Neddy Fitton's visit to the Earl o' Derby, 20
Owd Jack's throttle, 17
Owd Pooter, 64, 66
Owd Sam and Mr Handley, 56
Owdham Chap at Old Trafford, th', 24
Owdham Chap on the tread-mill, th', 23
P
Parrot, Billy Kay's, 19
Pyckin' 'em out, you're, 56
Pigeon-flyer, the dying, 25
Pilgrim's Progress, nobbut a dreyam, 118
Pilling's feyther, Jobber, 92
Pioneers, Rochdale, 90
Pooter, Owd, 64, 66
Porritch powder, 17; water, 85
Postman, Whittingham Lunatic Asylum, 128
Potter's Memories, Louise, 35
Power-loom breaking riots of 1826, 86
Preston House of Correction, 23, 79
Proverbs, Lancashire, 39
Put a notice up, 65
Q
Quacks, R. J. Hampson on, 28
Quiet sow, th', 39
R
Rachde Felley in London, the, 12, 13, 14
Recognition, names of, 92
Riding the Stang, 126
Riggin' o' th' world, th', 11, 114
Riots of 1826, power-loom breaking, 86
Roberts, General, 64
Robin o' Sceawter's feyther, 17
Rochdale Pioneers, the, 90
Rodger, Spanking, 99
Rondle o' th' Nab's cat, 17
Rossendale loom breakers, 87
Rough and enough, 40
S
Sall o' Croppers, 120
Sam, Owd, of Bury, 56
Samson, Strong, 99
School Inspection, humours of, 76, 77
Scotch and Lancashire humour contrasted, 55
Shakespeare, 4, 9
Shackleton, Jim, and boring for compensation, 70
Ship Canal, Manchester, 70
Shooting or worrying th' Boers, 58
Simeon, Happy, 99
Sixteen eggs for a shilling, 65
Smith, Jack, of Blackburn, 61
Socialist, a Lancashire, 59
Sond brid, the, 19
Spanking Rodger, 95
Spenser, 4
Spindle Dick, 101
Stalybridge man and his hat, 43
Stang, riding the, 126
Staton, J. T., 5
Steam pressure, 64
Stuart Mill, 37
T
Ta'en 'em as they come, 56
Taker-in, the, 115
Tattersall, Lord, 122
Taylor, Gentleman, 108, 122
Taylor, Richard, the Rossendale ale-taster, 101
Thrutch, the, 111
Tim Bobbin, 2, 3, 10, 11, 12
Tithing-men, 103
Touching th' moon, 68
Tramp and the stonebreaker, 58
Treacle barrel, the, 124
Tummus and Meary, John Collier's, 2, 10
Tyldesley collier and his bull-dog, the, 21
U
Unpaid, the Great, 107
V
Volunteer movement, 47
W
Walmsley Fowt, 18
Walton, Jim, the astronomer, 21
Ward, Artemus, 16
Warp, Bocking, 99
Waugh, Edwin, 2, 5, 16, 17, 37, 91, 114
Wheelbarrow, collier and, 28
Whittingham Lunatic Asylum Postman, 128
Wigan collier and his boy, 45
Willes, Justice, 61
Windle, Dick, 127
Witch o' Brandwood, 112
Working man going to the Isle of Man, the, 38
Worrying or shooting th' Boers, 58
Wycliffe, 4
Y
You're pykin' 'em out, 56
Young grindlestones, 91
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Transcriber's Note:
Inconsistent and archaic punctuation and spelling retained.