Chapter 9
clasped to her breast, her head thrown back, her eyes gazing aloft into vacancy.
"Oh, ye messengers of supereminent light! Oh, ye soul-thrilling angels from realms supernal! Draw nearer--unfold your celestial wings and brood tenderly o'er the aspirations of this receptive heart--this heart already upborne on waves of ecstasy and o'er- mastering joy; fulfill its psychic dreams and lift it to thine own supersensible heights"--she breathed in an exaggerated stage whisper and continued her vague, visionary monologue, or extravaganza, until the curtain fell and brought down the house again with enthusiastic applause.
"Has anyone guessed the answer to the conundrum, or charade, or both?" inquired the president with mirthful eyes when she could make herself heard.
"Transcendentalism!" cried Clara Follet, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Dinah gave it away to me with her 'is'm' and her 'rumatism,' and, of course, the charade was the key to the conundrum."
From several others came the same answer, with, the various hints or points which had suggested it.
"And now," continued Miss Walton, "we will have the paper on the same subject from Miss Minturn, who is also the author of both conundrum and charade."
Again there was a vigorous clapping of hands, in the midst of which the curtain was raised and Katherine appeared upon the stage, in her spinster attire, but shorn of her voluminous corkscrew curls.
She was smiling, and rosy, and bowed her thanks for the generous approval of her efforts.
As she unfolded her manuscript an expectant hush fell upon her audience, and she observed that significant and inquiring glances were exchanged between some of the members of the league.
"The paper which I have prepared," she began, "may not prove to be just what the club may have expected from me; but it will at least show that I have given the subject assigned me some thought.
"Once on a time--'twas not so very long ago-- Miss Puff craved something of Philosophy to know, And, with proofs of culture armed and high position, To a Summer School of Sages sought admission.
"With inspiration rare, she here absorbed her fill Of ologies galore, and conned them o'er, until Her wearied brain grew dazed beyond expression; But, of this sad fact, Miss Puff made no confessions
"Ontology came first, with arguments profound, With language mystical, the wisest to confound; Physics took the platform next, to claim discussion, And Metaphysics foll'wing near caused concussion.
"Cosmology! Phrenology! what charmed lore! What depths profound! how high her aspirations soar! Tidbits of sweetness for future delectation. Ah! but could she give a lucid explication?
"Theosophy! Psychology! transcendent themes! Glide softly in upon her philosophic dreams: 'Till soul upborne to realms of ecstasy sublime, Earth's vanities grow dim upon the shores of time.
"But, lo! now hydra-head Theology appears To shatter dreams and chill her heart with nameless fears, For Sage and Seer spare not in sharp dissection, 'Till poor Puff, alas! no longer makes connection.
"But, all the same, 'twas lovely to 'philosophize!' It mattered not if she were wise, or--otherwise; Or deeply versed in themes on which the Sages dote, Could she but keep on transcendental waves afloat.
"And so, at length, the Summer School drew to a close. Home went Miss Puff, well primed, to smatter and to pose; Lightly soar on clouds of blissful exaltation, And air her fads, perchance (?) in some smart publication.
"Howe'er, dear friends, Miss Puff's career was very brief. Like all pretentious frauds, she shortly came to grief; She was found out, you know, and took a strange belief Which none could heal, and faded like a leaf. Then, slyly fled the town!--was never seen again, Though faithful search was made o'er mountain, moor and fen.
"The claim? Ah! that begat long medical debate; But finally, as I am authorized to state-- For all things mystical must have some kind of name, And there's no better phrase to chronicle the same-- 'Twas--the learned doctors vowed--abnormal mentalism, The outgrowth of her fads and Transcendentalism!"
Katherine made her bow as she concluded and slipped behind the scenes. But the applause was beyond anything she had yet received and was kept up, with cries of "come out," "come out," until there was nothing to do but reappear, which she did with flushed cheeks and shining eyes.
"Comrades, I thank you all for your hearty appreciation and commendation," she said, when quiet was restored. "It occurred to me that a humorous treatment of the subject might be more enjoyable than any other, and"--with an arch look and nod--"more applicable to your conception of the term. But"--her eyes now brimming with mirth--"I will not take more of your time, as I believe there is a supplement to my programme yet to come."
The president looked surprised.
"I know of nothing more, Miss Minturn," she said; but even as she spoke there was a nervous rustle apparent among some of the audience.
"Still I am quite sure that a ghostly surprise, not down on my pragramme, had been planned for us. Perhaps this will elucidate my meaning," Katherine explained, and, bringing to light something, which she had until then concealed behind her, she shook out and held up to view a white robe, made of a sheet, and also a white mask.
Groans and laughter greeted this announcement and display.
"Oh! who has given us away? Who has told you, Miss Minturn?" came breathlessly from various quarters of the room.
"No one 'has given the secret away'--no one has 'told' me anything," she replied. "The discovery was an accident. I was obliged to slip up to my room for something forgotten, just before it was time to open the meeting. As I reached the end of the hall I heard voices, and, being arrayed in the dentist's garb with only a domino over it, I did not wish to be seen. I fled into the closet there, and the next moment two juniors passed, carrying something in their arms, wrapped in shawls. I heard one say, 'When I give the signal, Miss Blank will touch the button and put out the lights.' When they were beyond hearing I stole from the closet and found a small bundle at my feet. Investigation revealed this ghostly garb, and, if I am not mistaken, those shawls, in yonder corner, contain several others."
The room was very still for a moment after Katherine concluded, and there were some very red faces, here and there, among the audience.
Suddenly Clara Follet sprang to her feet, and, addressing the president, said:
"Miss Walton, as I am the leader in this affair, may I make an explanation?"
"Certainly. Comrades, Miss Follet has the floor."
"There is nothing to be done but make a clean breast of everything," continued Miss Follet, with a resolute air, but with crimson cheeks as she faced the audience. "As you all know, some of us were inclined to--to guy Miss Minturn at our last meeting about a certain subject, and when she declined to write a paper on it we thought we would give her another as nearly like it as possible, and so get some fun out of it when it came up for discussion. Well"--with a suggestive shrug--"we, of course, expected she would go into it deep, and mount, and soar, and all that; so some of us put our heads together and planned a ghost walk. We were going to wait until she reached the zenith of her flight, when, at a signal from me, the electrics would be turned off, which would leave us a very dim light through the transoms opening into the hall; then eight of us were to slip into our robes, form a circle around Miss Minturn, and chant a dirge. Well- -but--ahem! don't you see, she just took all the wind out of our sails to begin with? Instead of a 'ghostly surprise' the ghosts got the surprise--that conundrum and charade made me suspect that the committee on topics were going to 'get left,' and I began to feel my courage failing. But that transcendental poem!--that capped the climax, and I saw that the only thing to be done was for the spooks to hide their diminished heads and keep dark."
Miss Follet was here interrupted by vigorous clapping and bursts of irrepressible laughter, in which even the dignified president joined.
But a tap of the gavel restored order, and Miss Follet was invited to proceed.
"That is all there is to tell," she replied, "but I want to add, for myself, that I think Miss Minturn is 'a brick,' as the boys would put it, and I take off my hat to her"--turning to Katherine with a low, graceful bow--"if she will accept the homage from the chief transgressor, who--to make all possible atonement--proposes to give the best spread of the season in her honor, in place of the next meeting, if the league will vote me the privilege and she will signify her pardon and approval by shaking hands with me."
As she concluded she extended her hand to Katherine, who grasped it cordially, amid enthusiastic clapping by the entire audience.
It was some minutes before order could be restored, when the business was transacted and Miss Follet's proposal to give a spread in Miss Minturn's honor, two weeks from that night, received a most hearty and unanimous vote.
When the meeting was dismissed it was evident that a decided reaction of feeling had taken place, for Katherine at once became the center of attraction and held a delightful little reception for a while; but this was cut short by the ringing of the retiring bell, and the Junior League dispersed in the happiest frame of mind, all declaring that the "Transcendental Evening" had been the finest of the year.
When Katherine laid her head upon her pillow that night and fell asleep her pulses were beating in joyous rhythm with three beautiful words gleaned from her beloved "Science and Health"-- "Love is enthroned! Love is enthroned!" [Footnote: "Science and Health," page 454.]