Chapter 5

_Enter CALIBAN, with a burden of wood. A noise of Thunder heard._

_Cal._ All the infections that the Sun sucks up From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him By inch-meal[410-1] a disease! His spirits hear me, And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch, Fright me with urchin-shows,[410-2] pitch me i' the mire, Nor lead me, like a fire-brand,[410-3] in the dark Out of my way, unless he bid 'em: but For every trifle are they set upon me; Sometime[410-4] like apes, that mow[410-5] and chatter at me And after bite me; then like hedgehogs, which Lie tumbling in my barefoot way, and mount Their pricks[411-6] at my foot-fall; sometime am I All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues Do hiss me into madness. Lo, now, lo! Here comes a spirit of his; and to torment me For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat: Perchance he will not mind me.[411-7]

_Enter TRINCULO._

_Trin._ Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off[411-8] any weather at all, and another storm brewing; I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul bombard[411-9] that would shed his liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls.--What have we here? a man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of not-of-the-newest poor-john.[411-10] A strange fish! Were I in England now, as once I was, and had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast there makes a man:[411-11] when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legg'd like a man! and his fins like arms! Warm, o' my troth! I do now let loose my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a thunder-bolt. [_Thunder._] Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to creep under his gaberdine;[412-12] there is no other shelter hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the dregs of the storm be past.

[_Creeps under CALIBAN'S garment._

_Enter STEPHANO, singing; a bottle in his hand._

Steph. _I shall no more to sea, to sea, Here shall I die ashore;--_

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's funeral: well, here's my comfort. [_Drinks._

[Sings.] _The master, the swabber,[412-13] the boatswain, and I, The gunner, and his mate, Loved Mall, Meg, and Marian, and Margery, But none of us cared for Kate; For she had a tongue with a tang,[412-14] Would cry to a sailor, _Go hang! _She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch: Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!_

This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort. [_Drinks._

_Cal._ Do not torment me:--O!

_Steph._ What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon's with savages and men of Inde,[413-15] ha? I have not 'scaped drowning, to be afeared now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so again, while Stephano breathes at's nostrils.

_Cal._ The spirit torments me:--O!

_Steph._ This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the Devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he's a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's-leather.[413-16]

_Cal._ Do not torment me, pr'ythee: I'll bring my wood home faster.

_Steph._ He's in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him;[413-17] he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

_Cal._ Thou dost me yet but little hurt; Thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: Now Prosper works upon thee.

_Steph._ Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that which will give a language to you, cat:[413-18] open your mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: [_Gives him drink._] you cannot tell who's your friend; open your chops again. [_Gives him more drink._

_Trin._ I should know that voice: it should be--but he is drown'd; and these are devils:--O, defend me!

_Steph._ Four legs, and two voices--a most delicate monster? His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague: [_Gives him drink._]--Come,--Amen![414-19] I will pour some in thy other mouth.

_Trin._ Stephano!

_Steph._ Doth thy other mouth call me?--Mercy, mercy! This is a devil and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.[414-20]

_Trin._ Stephano!--If thou be'st Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo,--be not afeared,--thy good friend Trinculo.

_Steph._ If thou be'st Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs, these are they. [_Pulls TRINCULO out._] Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How earnest thou to be the siege[414-21] of this moon-calf?[414-22]

_Trin._ I took him to be kill'd with a thunder-stroke. But art thou not drown'd, Stephano? I hope, now, thou art not drown'd?[415-23] Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!

_Steph._ Pr'ythee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.[415-24]

_Cal._ [_Aside._] These be fine things, an if[415-25] they be not sprites. That's a brave god, and bears celestial liquor: I will kneel to him.

_Steph._ How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither? swear, by this bottle, how thou camest hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack,[415-26] which the sailors heaved o'erboard, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own hands, since I was cast ashore.

_Cal._ I'll swear, upon that bottle, to be thy True subject; for the liquor is not earthly.

_Steph._ Here; swear, man, how thou escapedst.

_Trin._ Swam ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I'll be sworn.

_Steph._ Here kiss the book. [_Gives him drink._] Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a goose.

_Trin._ O Stephano, hast any more of this?

_Steph._ The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the sea-side, where my wine is hid.--How now, moon-calf! how does thine ague?

_Cal._ Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?

_Steph._ Out o' the Moon, I do assure thee: I was the Man-i'-the-moon when time was.

_Cal._ I've seen thee in her, and I do adore thee: My mistress show'd me thee, and thy dog, and thy bush.[416-27]

_Steph._ Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish it anon with new contents: swear. [_Gives CALIBAN drink._

_Trin._ By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!--I afeared of him!--a very weak monster!--_The Man-i'-the-moon!_--a most poor credulous monster!--Well drawn,[416-28] monster, in good sooth.

_Cal._ I'll show thee every fertile inch o' the island; And I will kiss thy foot: I pr'ythee, be my god.

_Trin._ By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster! when his god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

_Cal._ I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.

_Steph._ Come on then; down, and swear.

_Trin._ I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him,--

_Steph._ Come, kiss. [_Gives CALIBAN drink._

_Trin._--but that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster!

_Cal._ I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries; I'll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough. A plague upon the tyrant that I serve! I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee, Thou wondrous man.

_Trin._ A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!

_Cal._ I pr'ythee, let me bring thee where crabs grow; And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;[417-29] Show thee a jay's nest, and instruct thee how To snare the nimble marmozet; I'll bring thee To clustering filberts, and sometimes I'll get thee Young staniels[417-30] from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

_Steph._ I pr'ythee now, lead the way without any more talking. Trinculo, the King and all our company else being drown'd, we will inherit here. Here, bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by-and-by again.

_Cal._ [_Sings drunkenly._] Farewell, master; farewell, farewell.

_Trin._ A howling monster; a drunken monster!

_Cal._ No more dams I'll make for fish; Nor fetch in firing at requiring; Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish: 'Ban, 'Ban, Ca--Caliban Has a new master; get a new man. Freedom, hey-day, hey-day, freedom! freedom, hey-day, freedom!

_Steph._ O brave monster! lead the way.

[_Exeunt._