Part 8

Rose at eight: went and took a bath. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: Venice Preserved, with Mr. Keppel, who did not appear to me to know the words even, and seemed perfectly bewildered at being asked to do the common business of the piece. "Mercy on me! what will he do to-night?" thought I. Came home and got things ready for the theatre. Received a visit from poor Mr. ----, who has got the lumbago, as Sir Peter would say, "on purpose," I believe, to prevent my riding out to-morrow. Dined at three: after dinner, played and sang through Cinderella; wrote journal: at six, went to the theatre. My gown was horribly ill-plaited, and I looked like a blue bag. The house was very full, and they received Mr. K---- with acclamations and shouts of applause. When I went on, I was all but tumbling down at the sight of my Jaffier, who looked like the apothecary in Romeo and Juliet, with the addition of some devilish red slashes along his thighs and arms. The first scene passed well and so: but, oh, the next, and the next, and the next to that! Whenever he was not glued to my side (and that was seldom), he stood three yards behind me; he did nothing but seize my hand, and grapple to it so hard, that unless I had knocked him down (which I felt much inclined to try), I could not disengage myself. In the senate scene, when I was entreating for mercy, and _struggling_, as Otway has it, for my life, he was prancing round the stage in every direction, flourishing his dagger in the air: I wish to Heaven I had got up and run away: it would but have been natural, and have served him extremely right. In the parting scene,--oh what a scene it was!--instead of going away from me when he said "farewell for ever," he stuck to my skirts, though in the same breath that I adjured him, in the words of my part, not to leave me, I added, aside, "Get away from me, oh _do_!" When I exclaimed, "Not one kiss at parting," he kept embracing and kissing me like mad: and when I ought to have been pursuing him, and calling after him, "Leave thy dagger with me," he hung himself up against the wing, and remained dangling there for five minutes. I was half crazy! and the good people sat and swallowed it all: they deserved it, by my troth, they did. I prompted him constantly; and once, after struggling in vain to free myself from him, was obliged, in the middle of my part, to exclaim, "You hurt me dreadfully, Mr. Keppel!" He clung to me, cramped me, crumpled me,--dreadful! I never experienced any thing like this before, and made up my mind that I never would again. I played of course like a wretch, finished my part as well as I could, and, as soon as the play was over, went to my father and Mr. Simpson, and declared to them both my determination not to go upon the stage again, with that gentleman for a hero. Three trials are as many as, in reason, any body can demand, and, come what come may, _I_ will not be subjected to this sort of experiment again. At the end of the play, the clever New Yorkians actually called for Mr. Keppel! and this most worthless clapping of hands, most worthlessly bestowed upon such a worthless object, is what, by the nature of my craft, I am bound to care for; I spit at it from the bottom of my soul! Talking of applause, the man who acted Bedamar to-night thought fit to be two hours dragging me off the stage; in consequence of which I had to scream, "Jaffier, Jaffier," till I thought I should have broken a blood-vessel. On my remonstrating with him upon this, he said, "Well, you are rewarded, listen:" the people were clapping and shouting vehemently: this is the whole history of acting and actors. We came home tired, and thoroughly disgusted, and found no supper. The cooks, who do not live in the house, but come and do their work, and depart home whenever it suits their convenience, had not thought proper to stay to prepare any supper for us: so we had to wait for the readiest things that could be procured out of doors for us--this was pleasant[18]--very! At last appeared a cold boiled fowl, and some monstrous oysters, that looked for all the world like an antediluvian race of oysters, "for in those days there were giants." Six mouthfuls each: they were well-flavoured; but their size displeased my eye, and I swallowed but one, and came to bed.

_Friday, 28th._

A letter from England, the first from dear ----. D---- brought it me while I was dressing, and oh, how welcome, how welcome it was!

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After breakfast went to rehearsal: Much Ado about Nothing. Came home, wrote journal, put out things for the theatre, dined at three. After dinner, ---- called.

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Mr. ---- called, and sat with us till six o'clock.

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I constantly sit thunderstruck at the amazing number of unceremonious questions which people here think fit to ask one, and, moreover, expect one to answer. Went to the theatre; the house was not good. The Italians were expected to sing for the first time; they did not, however, but in the mean time thinned our house.

I would give the world to see Mr. ---- directing the public taste, by an oeillade, and leading the public approbation, by a gracious tapping of his supreme hand upon his ineffable snuff-box; he reminds me of high life below stairs. The play went off very well; I played well, and my dresses looked beautiful; my father acted to perfection. I never saw any thing so gallant, gay, so like a gentlemen, so full of brilliant, buoyant, refined spirit; he looked admirably, too. Mr. ---- was behind the scenes; speaking to me of my father's appearance in Pierre, he said he reminded him of Lord ----. I could not forbear asking him how long he had been away from England? he replied, four years. Truly, four years will furnish him matter of astonishment when he returns. Swallow Street is grown into a line of palaces; the Strand is a broad magnificent avenue, where all the wealth of the world seems gathered together; and Lord ----, the "observed of all observers," is become a red-faced fat old man. "Och, Time! can't ye be aisy now!"

_Sunday, 30th._

Rose late, did not go to church; sat writing letters all the morning. Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called. What a character that Mr. ---- is! Colonel ---- called, and wanted to take my father out; but we were all inditing espistles to go to-morrow by the dear old Pacific. At three o'clock, went to church with Mrs. ---- and Mr. ----. I like Dr. ---- most extremely. His mild, benevolent, Christian view of the duties and blessings of life is very delightful; and the sound practical doctrine he preaches "good for edification."

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It poured with rain, but they sent a coach for us from the inn; came home, dressed for dinner. D---- and I dined _tête-à-tête_. After dinner, sat writing letters for Mr. ----'s bag till ten o'clock: came to my own room, undressed, and began a volume to dear ----.

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I did not get to bed till three o'clock: in spite of all which I am as fat as an overstuffed pincushion.

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Select specimens of American pronunciation:--

vaggaries, vagaries. ad infinnitum, ad infinitum. vitupperate, vituperate.

_Monday, October 1st._

While I was out, Captain ---- called for our letters. Saw Mr. ----, and bade him good-by: they are going away to-day to Havre, to Europe; I wish I was a nail in one of their trunks. After breakfast, went to rehearse King John: what a lovely mess they will make of it, to be sure! When my sorrows were ended, my father brought me home: found a most lovely nosegay from Mr. ---- awaiting me. Bless it! how sweet it smelt, and how pretty it looked. Spent an hour delightfully in putting it into water. Got things ready for to-night, practised till dinner, and wrote journal. My father received a letter to-day, informing him that a cabal was forming by the friends of Miss Vincent and Miss Clifton (native talent!) to hiss us off the New York stage, if possible; if not, to send people in every night to create a disturbance during our best scenes: the letter is anonymous, and therefore little deserving of attention. After dinner, practised till time to go to the theatre. The house was very full; but what a cast! what a play! what botchers! what butchers! In his very first scene, the most christian king stuck fast; and there he stood, shifting his truncheon from hand to hand, rolling his eyes, gasping for breath, and struggling for words, like a man in the night-mare. I thought of Hamlet--"Leave thy damnable faces"--and was obliged to turn away. In the scene before Angiers, when the French and English heralds summon the citizens to the walls, the Frenchman applied his instrument to his mouth, uplifted his chest, distended his cheeks, and appeared to blow furiously; not a sound! he dropped his arm, and looked off the stage in discomfiture and indignation, when the perverse trumpet set up a blast fit to waken the dead,--the audience roared: it reminded me of the harp in the old ballad, that "began to play alone." Chatillon, on his return from England, begged to assure us that with King John was come the mother queen, an _Anty_ stirring him to blood and war. When Cardinal Pandulph came on, the people set up a shout, as usual: he was dreadfully terrified, poor thing; and all the time he spoke kept giving little nervous twitches to his sacred petticoat, in a fashion that was enough to make one die of laughter. He was as obstinate, too, in his bewilderment as a stuttering man in his incoherency; for once, when he stuck fast, having twitched his skirts, and thumped his breast in vain for some time, I thought it best, having to speak next, to go on; when, lo and behold! in the middle of my speech, the "scarlet sin" recovers his memory, and shouts forth the end of his own, to the utter confusion of my august self and the audience. I thought they never would have got through my last scene: king gazed at cardinal, and cardinal gazed at king; king nodded and winked at the prompter, spread out his hands, and remained with his mouth open: cardinal nodded and winked at the prompter, crossed his hands on his breast, and remained with his mouth open; neither of them uttering a syllable! What a scene! O, what a glorious scene! Came home as soon as my part was over. Supped, and sat up for my father. Heard his account of the end, and came to bed.[19]

_Wednesday, 3d._

Rose late. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: what a mess I do make of Bizarre! Ellen Tree and Mrs. Chatterly were angels to what I shall be, yet I remember thinking them both bad enough. After all, if people generally did but know the difficulty of doing well, they would be less damnatory upon those who do ill. It is not easy to act well. After rehearsal, went to Stewart's with D----. As we were proceeding up Broadway to Bonfanti's,[20] I saw a man in the strangest attitude imaginable, absolutely setting at us: presently he pounced, and who should it be but ----. He came into Bonfanti's with us, and afterwards insisted on escorting us to our various destinations; not, however, without manifold and deep lamentations on his slovenly appearance and dirty gloves. The latter, however, he managed to exchange, _chemin faisant_, for a pair of new ones, which he extracted from his pocket and drew on, without letting go our arms, which he squeezed most unmercifully during the operation. We went through a part of the town which I had never seen before. The shops have all a strange fair-like appearance, and exhibit a spectacle of heterogeneous disorder, which greatly amazes the eye of a Londoner. The comparative infancy in which most of the adornments of life are yet in this country, renders it impossible for the number of distinct trades to exist that do among us, where the population is so much denser, and where the luxurious indulgences of the few find ample occupation for the penurious industry of the many. But here, one man drives several trades; and in every shop you meet with a strange incongruous mixture of articles for sale, which would be found nowhere in England, but in the veriest village huckster's. Comparatively few of the objects for sale can be exposed in the windows, which are, unlike our shop windows, narrow and ill adapted for the display of goods: but piles of them lie outside the doors, choking up the pathway, and coloured cloths, flannels, shawls, etc., are suspended about in long draperies, whose vivid colours flying over the face of the houses give them an untidy, but at the same time a gay, flaunting appearance. We went into a shop to buy some stockings, and missing our _preux chevalier_, I turned round to look for him; when I perceived him beautifying most busily before a glass in a further corner of the shop. He had seized on a sort of house brush, and began brooming his hat: the next operation was to produce a small pocket-comb and arrange his disordered locks; lastly, he transferred the services of the brush of all work from his head to his feet, and having dusted his boots, drawn himself up in his surtout, buttoned its two lower buttons, and given a reforming grasp to his neckcloth, he approached us, evidently much advanced in his own good graces. We went to the furrier's, and brought away my dark boa. Came home, put out things for packing up, and remained so engaged till time to dress for dinner. Mr. and Mrs. ---- and Mr. ---- dined with us.

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Mr. ---- is an Englishman of the high breed, and sufficiently pleasant. After dinner we had to withdraw into our bed-room, for the house is so full that they can't cram any thing more into an inch of it.

Joined the gentlemen at tea. Mr. ---- had gone to the theatre: Mr. ---- and I had some music. He plays delightfully, and knows every note of music that ever was written; but he had the barbarity to make me sing a song of his own composing to him, which is a cruel thing in a man to do. He went away at about eleven, and we then came to bed. My father went to see Miss Clifton, at the Bowery theatre.

_Thursday, 4th._

Rose late. After breakfast, went to rehearsal: my Bizarre is getting a little more into shape. After rehearsal, came home. Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called, and sat some time with me. The former is tolerably pleasant, but a little too fond of telling good stories that he has told before. Put out things for the theatre: dined at three. Colonel ---- called. Wrote journal: while doing so, was called out to look at my gown, which the worthy milliner had sent home.

I am, I am an angel! Witness it, heaven! Witness it earth, and every being witness it! The gown was spoil'd! Yet by immortal patience I did not even fly into a passion.

She took it back to alter it. Presently arrived my wreath, and that had also to be taken back; for 't was nothing like what I had ordered. Now all this does not provoke me; but the thing that does, is the dreadful want of manners of the tradespeople here. They bolt into your room without knocking, nod to you, sit down, and without the preface of either Sir, Ma'am, or Miss, start off into "Well now, I'm come to speak about so and so." At six, went to the theatre; play, the Hunchback: the house was crammed from floor to ceiling. I had an intense headach, but played tolerably well. I wore my red satin, and looked like a bonfire. Came home and found Smith's Virginia, and two volumes of Graham's America, which I want to read. They charge twelve dollars for these: every thing is horribly dear here. Came to bed with my head splitting.

_Friday, 5th._

Played Bizarre for the first time. Acted so-so, looked very pretty, the house was very fine, and my father incomparable: they called for him after the play. Colonel ---- and Mr. ---- called in while we were at supper.

_Saturday, 6th._

Rose late: when I came in to breakfast, found Colonel ---- sitting in the parlour. He remained for a long time, and we had sundry discussions on topics manifold. It seems that the blessed people here were shocked at my having to hear the coarseness of Farquhar's Inconstant--humbug![21]

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At twelve, went out shopping, and paying bills; called upon Mrs. ----, and sat some time with her and Mrs. ----; left a card at Mrs. ----'s, and came home, prepared things for our journey, and dressed for dinner. On our way to Mr. ----'s, my father told me he had been seeing Miss Clifton, the girl they want him to teach to act; (to _teach_ to act, quotha!!!) He says, she is very pretty indeed, with fine eyes, a fair delicate skin, and a handsome mouth; moreover, a tall woman, and yet from the front of the house her effect is nought. What a pity, and a provoking! A pleasant dinner, very. Mr. ---- the poet, one Dr. ----, Colonel ----, and Mr. ----: the only woman was a Miss ----.

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----'s face reminded me of young ----: the countenance was not quite so good, but there was the same radiant look about the eyes and forehead. His expression was strongly sarcastic; I liked him very much notwithstanding. When we left the men, we had the pleasure of the children's society, and that of an unhappy kitten, whom a little pitiless urchin of three years old was carrying crumpled under her arm like a pincushion. The people here make me mad by abusing Lawrence's drawing of me. If ever there was a refined and intellectual work, where the might of genius triumphing over every material impediment has enshrined and embodied spirit itself, it is that. Talking of Lawrence, (poor Lawrence!) Mrs. ---- said, "Ah, yes! your picture by--a--Sir--something--Lawrence!" Oh, fame! oh, fame! Oh, vanity and vexation of spirit! does your eternity and your infinitude amount to this? There are lands where Shakspeare's name was never heard, where Raphael and Handel are unknown; to be sure, for the matter of that, there are regions (and those wide ones too) where Jesus Christ is unknown. At nine o'clock, went to the Richmond Hill theatre, to see the opening of the Italian company. The house itself is a pretty little box enough, but as bad as a box to sing in. We went to Mr. ----'s box, where he was kind enough to give us seats. The first act was over, but we had all the benefit of the second. I had much ado not to laugh: and when Mr. ----, that everlasting giggler, came and sat down beside me, I gave myself up for lost. However, I did behave, in spite of two blue-bottles of women, who by way of the sisters buzzed about the stage, singing enough to set one's teeth on edge. Then came a very tall Dandini; by the by, that man had a good bass voice, but Mr. ---- said it was the finest he had heard since _Zucchelli_. O tempora! O mores! Zucchelli, that prince of delicious baritones! However, as I said, the man has a good bass voice; there was also a sufficiently good Pompolino. Montresor banged himself about, broke his time, and made some execrable flourishes in the Prince, whereat the enlightened New Yorkians applauded mightily. But the Prima Donna! but the Cenerentola! Cospetto di Venere, what a figure, and what a face! Indeed she was the very thing for a lower housemaid, and I think the Prince was highly to blame for removing her from the station nature had evidently intended her for. She was old and ugly, and worse than ugly, unpardonably common-looking, with a cast in her eye, and a foot that, as Mr. ---- observed, it would require a _pretty considerable_ large glass slipper to fit. Then she sang--discords and dismay, how she did sing! I could not forbear stealing a glance at ----: he applauded the sestett vehemently; but when it came to that most touching "_nacqui al' affanno_," he wisely interposed his handkerchief between the stage and his gracious countenance. I thought of poor dear ----, and her sweet voice, and her refined taste, and shuddered to hear this favourite of hers bedevilled by such a Squalini. Now is it possible that people can be such fools as to fancy this good in spite of their senses, or such earless asses (that's a bull I suppose), as to suffer themselves to be persuaded that it is? Though why do I ask it? Oh yes, "very easily possible." Do not half the people in London spend money and time without end, enduring nightly penances--listening to what they can't understand, and couldn't appreciate if they did? I suppose if I shall allow a hundred out of the whole King's Theatre audience to know any thing whatever about music, I am wide in my grant of comprehension. There was that virtuous youth, Mr. ----, who evidently ranks as one of the cognoscenti here, who exclaimed triumphantly at the end of one of the perpetrations, "Well, after all, there's nothing like Rossini." Handel, Haydn, Mozart, Beethoven, and Weber, are _not_, that is certain.[22] I wish I could have seen Mr. ---- during that finale. Coming out, were joined by Mr. ----: brought him home in the carriage with us. Gave him "Ye mariners of Spain," and some cold tongue, to take the taste of the Cenerentola out of his mouth. He stayed some time. I like him enough: he is evidently a clever man, though he does murder the King's English. (By the by, does _English_, the tongue, belong, in America, to the King or the President--I wonder? I should rather think, from my limited observations, that it was the individual property of every freeborn citizen of the United States.) Now, what on earth can I say to the worthy citizens, if they ask me what I thought of the Italian opera? That it was very amusing--yes, that will do nicely; that will be true, and not too direct a condemnation of their good taste.

_Sunday, 7th._

Rose late. Young ---- breakfasted with us. How unfortunately plain he is! His voice is marvellously like his father's, and it pleased me to hear him speak therefore. He was talking to my father about the various southern and western theatres, and bidding us expect to meet strange coadjutors in those lost lands beyond the world. On one occasion, he said, when he was acting Richard the Third, some of the underlings kept their hats on while he was on the stage, whereat ---- remonstrated, requesting them in a whisper to uncover, as they were in the presence of a king; to which admonition he received the following characteristic reply: "Fiddlestick! I guess we know nothing about kings in this country." Colonel ---- called too; but D---- and I went off to church, and left my father to entertain them. Met Mr. ---- and Mr. ----, who were coming to fetch us: went to Mr. ----'s pew. The music was very delightful; but decidedly I do not like music in church. The less my senses are appealed to in the house of prayer, the better for me and my devotions. Although I have experienced excitement of a stern and martial, and sometimes of a solemn, nature, from music, yet these melt away, and its abiding influence with me is of a much softer kind: therefore, in church, I had rather dispense with it, particularly when they sing psalms, as they did to-day, to the tune of "Come dwell with me, and be my love." I did not like the sermon much; there was effect in it, painting, which I dislike. Staid the sacrament, the first I have taken in this strange land. Mr. ---- walked home with us: when he was gone, Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called. When they had all taken their departure, settled accounts, wrote journal, wrote to my mother, came and put away sundry things, and dressed for dinner. My father dined with Mr. ----: D---- and I dined _tête-à-tête_. Colonel ---- came twice through the pouring rain to look after our baggage for to-morrow; such charity is unexampled.

_Monday, 8th._