Part 7

Rose at eight. At twelve, went to rehearsal. The weather is intolerable; I am in a state of perpetual fusion. The theatre is the coolest place I have yet been in, I mean at rehearsal; when the front is empty, and the doors open, and the stage is so dark that we are obliged to rehearse by candlelight. That washed-out man, who failed in London when he acted Romeo with me, is to be my Fazio; let us hope he will know some of his words to-morrow night, for he is at present most innocent of any such knowledge. After rehearsal, walked into a shop to buy some gauze: the shopmen called me by my name, entered into conversation with us; and one of them, after showing me a variety of things which I did not want, said, that they were most anxious to show me every attention, and render my stay in this country agreeable. A Christian, I suppose, would have met these benevolent advances with an infinitude of thankfulness, and an outpouring of grateful pleasure; but for my own part, though I had the grace to smile and say, "Thank you," I longed to add, "but be so good as to measure your ribands, and hold your tongue." I have no idea of holding parley with clerks behind a counter, still less of their doing so with me. So much for my first impression of the courtesy of this land of liberty. I should have been much better pleased if they had called me "Ma'am," which they did not. We dined at three. V---- and Colonel ---- called after dinner. At seven, went to the theatre. It was my dear father's first appearance in this new world, and my heart ached with anxiety. The weather was intensely hot, yet the theatre was crowded: when he came on, they gave him what every body here calls an immense reception; but they should see our London audience get up, and wave hats and handkerchiefs, and shout welcome as they do to us. The tears were in my eyes, and all I could say was, "They might as well get up, I think." My father looked well, and acted beyond all praise; but oh, what a fine and delicate piece of work this is! There is not one sentence, line, or word of this part which my father has not sifted grain by grain; there is not one scene or passage to which he does not give its fullest and most entire substance, together with a variety that relieves the intense study of the whole with wonderful effect.

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I think that it is impossible to conceive Hamlet more truly, or execute it more exquisitely, than he does. The refinement, the tenderness, the grace, dignity, and princely courtesy with which he invests it from beginning to end, are most lovely; and some of the slighter passages, which, like fine tints to the incapable eyes of blindness, must always pass unnoticed, and, of course, utterly uncomprehended, by the discriminating public, enchanted me.

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His voice was weak, from nervousness and the intolerable heat of the weather, and he was not well dressed, which was a pity.

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The play was well got up, and went off very well. The ---- were there, a regiment of them; also Colonel ---- and Captain ----. After the play, came home to supper.

_Tuesday, 18th._

Rose at eight. At eleven, went to rehearsal. Mr. Keppel is just as nervous and as imperfect as ever: what on earth will he, or shall I, do to-night! Came home, got things out for the theatre, and sat like any stroller stitching for dear life at my head-dress. Mr. H---- and his nephew called: the latter asked me if I was at all apprehensive? No, by my troth, I am not; and that not because I feel sure of success, for I think it very probable the Yankees may like to show their critical judgment and independence by damning me; but because, thank God, I do not care whether they do or not: the whole thing is too loathsome to me, for either failure or success to affect me in the least, and therefore I feel neither nervous nor anxious about it. We dined at three: after dinner, J---- came; he sat some time. When he was gone, I came into the drawing-room, and found a man sitting with my father, who presented him to me by some inaudible name. I sat down, and the gentleman pursued his conversation as follows:--"When Clara Fisher came over, Barry wrote to me about her, and I wrote him back word: 'My dear fellow, if your bella donna is such as you describe, why, we'll see what we can do; we will take her by the hand.'" This was enough for me. I jumped up, and ran out of the room; because a newspaper writer is my aversion. At half-past six, went to the theatre. They acted the farce of Popping the Question first, in order, I suppose, to get the people to their places before the play began. Poor Mr. Keppel was gasping for breath; he moved my compassion infinitely; I consoled and comforted him all I could, gave him some of my lemonade to swallow, for he was choking with fright; sat myself down with my back to the audience, and up went the curtain. Owing to the position in which I was sitting, and my plain dress, most unheroine-like in its make and colour, the people did not know me, and would not have known me for some time, if that stupid man had done as I kept bidding him, gone on; but instead of doing so, he stood stock still, looked at me, and then at the audience, whereupon the latter caught an inkling of the truth, and gave me such a reception as I get in Covent Garden theatre every time I act a new part. The house was very full; all the ---- were there, and Colonel ----. Mr. Keppel was frightened to death, and in the very second speech was quite out: it was in vain that I prompted him; he was too nervous to take the word, and made a complete mess of it. This happened more than once in the first scene; and at the end of the first act, as I left the stage, I said to D----, "It's all up with me, I can't do any thing now;" for, having to prompt my Fazio, frightened by his fright, annoyed by his forgetting his crossings and positions, utterly unable to work myself into any thing like excitement, I thought the whole thing must necessarily go to pieces. However, once rid of my encumbrance, which I am at the end of the second act, I began to move a little more freely, gathered up my strength, and set to work comfortably by myself; whereupon, the people applauded, I warmed (warmed, quotha! the air was steam), and got through very satisfactorily, at least so it seems. My dresses were very beautiful; but oh, but oh, the musquitoes had made dreadful havoc with my arms, which were covered with hills as large and red as Vesuvius in an eruption. After the play, my father introduced me to Mr. B----, Lord S----'s brother, who was behind the scenes; his brother's place, by the by. Came home, supped.

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Came to bed at half past twelve; weary, and half melted away. The ants swarm on the floors, on the tables, in the beds, about one's clothes; the plagues of Egypt were a joke to them: horrible! it makes one's life absolutely burdensome, to have creatures creeping about one, and all over one, night and day, this fashion; to say nothing of those cantankerous stinging things, the musquitoes.

_Wednesday, 19th._

D---- did not call me till ten o'clock, whereat I was in furious dudgeon. Got up, breakfasted, and off to rehearsal; Romeo and Juliet. Mr. Keppel has been dismissed, poor man! I'm sorry for him: my father is to play Romeo with me, I'm sorrier still for that. After rehearsal, came home, dawdled about my room: Mr. ---- called: he is particularly fond of music. My father asked him to try the piano, which he accordingly did, and was playing most delightfully, when in walked Mr. ----, and by and by Colonel ----, with his honour the Recorder, and General ---- of the militia. I amused myself with looking over some exquisite brown silk stockings, wherewith I mean to match my gown. When they were all gone, dawdled about till time to dress. So poor dear H---- can't come from Philadelphia for our dinner--dear, I'm quite sorry! At five our party assembled; we were but thin in numbers, and the half empty table, together with the old ship faces, made it look, as some one observed, as if it was blowing hard. Our dinner was neither good nor well served, the wine not half iced. At the end of it, my father gave Captain ---- his claret-jug, wherewith that worthy seemed much satisfied.

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We left the table soon; came and wrote journal. When the gentlemen joined us, they were all more or less "how com'd you so indeed?" Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- particularly. They put me down to the piano, and once or twice I thought I must have screamed. On one side _vibrated_ dear Mr. ----, threatening my new gown with a cup of coffee, which he held at an awful angle from the horizontal line; singing with every body who opened their lips, and uttering such dreadfully discordant little squeals and squeaks, that I thought I should have died of suppressed laughter. On the other side, rather _concerned_, but not quite so much so, stood the Irishman; who, though warbling a little out of tune, and flourishing somewhat luxuriantly, still retained enough of his right senses to discriminate between Mr. ----'s yelps and singing, properly so called; and accordingly pished!--and pshawed!--and oh Lorded!--and good heavened! away,-- staring at the perpetrator with indignant horror through his spectacles, while his terrified wig stood on end in every direction, each particular hair appearing vehemently possessed with the centrifugal force. They all went away in good time, and we came to bed.

----To bed--to sleep-- To sleep!--perchance to be bitten! ay--there's the scratch: And in that sleep of ours what bugs may come, Must give us pause.

_Thursday, 20th._

Rose at eight. After breakfast, went to rehearse Romeo and Juliet. Poor Mr. Keppel is fairly laid on the shelf; I'm sorry for him! What a funny passion he had, by the by, for going down upon his knees. In Fazio, at the end of the judgment scene, when I was upon mine, down he went upon his, making the most absurd devout-looking _vis-à-vis_ I ever beheld: in the last scene, too, when he ought to have been going off to execution, down he went again upon his knees, and no power on earth could get him up again, for Lord knows how long. Poor fellow, he bothered me a good deal, yet I'm sincerely sorry for him. At the end of our rehearsal, came home. The weather is sunny, sultry, scorching, suffocating. Ah! Mr. ---- called. This is an indifferent imitation of bad fine manners amongst us; "he speaks small, too, like a gentleman." He sat for a long time, talking over the opera, and all the prima donnas in the world. When he was gone, Mr. ---- and Mr. ---- called.

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The latter asked us to dinner to-morrow, to meet Dr. ----, who, poor man, dares neither go to the play nor call upon us, so strict are the good people here about the behaviour of their pastors and masters. By the by, Essex called this morning to fetch away the Captain's claret-jug: he asked my father for an order; adding, with some hesitation, "It must be for the gallery, if you please, sir, for people of colour are not allowed to go to the pit, or any other part of the house." I believe I turned black myself, I was so indignant. Here's aristocracy with a vengeance! ---- called with Forrest, the American actor. Mr. Forrest has rather a fine face, I think. We dined at three: after dinner, wrote journal, played on the piano, and frittered away my time till half-past six. Went to the theatre: the house was very full, and dreadfully hot. My father acted Romeo beautifully: I looked very nice, and the people applauded my _gown_ abundantly. At the end of the play I was half dead with heat and fatigue: came home and supped, lay down on the floor in absolute meltiness away, and then came to bed.

_Friday, 21st._

Rose at eight. After breakfast went to rehearsal. The School for Scandal; Sir Peter, I see, keeps his effects to himself; what a bore this is, to be sure! Got out things for the theatre. While eating my lunch, Mr. ---- and his cousin, a Mr. ---- (one of the cleverest lawyers here), called.

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They were talking of Mr. Keppel. By the by, of that gentleman; Mr. Simpson sent me this morning, for my decision, a letter from Mr. Keppel, soliciting another trial, and urging the hardness of his case, in being condemned upon a part which he had had no time to study. My own opinion of poor Mr. Keppel is, that no power on earth or in heaven can make him act decently; however, of course, I did not object to his trying again; he did not swamp me the first night, so I don't suppose he will the fifth. We dined at five. Just before dinner, received a most delicious bouquet, which gladdened my very heart with its sweet smell and lovely colours: some of the flowers were strangers to me. After dinner, Colonel ---- called, and began pulling out heaps of newspapers, and telling us a long story about Mr. Keppel, who, it seems, has been writing to the papers, to convince them and the public that he is a good actor; at the same time throwing out sundry hints, which seem aimed our way, of injustice, oppression, hard usage, and the rest on't.

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Mr. ---- called to offer to ride with me; when, however, the question of a horse was canvassed, he knew of none, and Colonel ----'s whole regiment of "beautiful ladies' horses" had also neither a local habitation nor a name.

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When they were gone, went to the theatre; the house was very good, the play the School for Scandal. I played pretty fairly, and looked very nice. The people were stupid to a degree, to be sure; poor things! it was very hot. Indeed, I scarce understand how they should be amused with the School for Scandal; for though the dramatic situations are so exquisite, yet the wit is far above the generality of even our own audiences, and the tone and manners altogether are so thoroughly English, that I should think it must be for the most part incomprehensible to the good people here. After the play, came home. Colonel S---- supped with us, and renewed the subject of Mr. Keppel and the theatre. My father happened to say, referring to a passage in that worthy's letter to the public, "I shall certainly inquire of Mr. Keppel why he has so used my name;" to which Colonel S---- replied, as usual, "No, now let me advise, let me beg you, Mr. Kemble, just to remain quiet, and leave all this to me." This was too much for mortal woman to bear. I immediately said, "Not at all: it is my father's affair, if any body's; and he alone has the right to demand any explanation, or make any observation on the subject; and were I he, I certainly should do so, and that forthwith." I could hold no longer.

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Came to bed in tremendous dudgeon. The few _critiques_ that I have seen upon our acting have been, upon the whole, laudatory. One was sent to me from a paper called The Mirror, which pleased me very much; not because the praise in it was excessive, and far beyond my deserts, but that it was written with great taste and feeling, and was evidently not the produce of a common press-hack. There appeared to me in all the others the true provincial dread of praising too much, and being _led_ into approbation by previous opinions; a sort of jealousy of critical freedom, which, together with the established _nil admirari_ of the press, seems to keep them in a constant dread of being thought enthusiastic. They need not be afraid: enthusiasm may belong to such analyses as Schlegel's or Channing's, but has nothing in common with the paragraphs of a newspaper; the inditers of which, in my poor judgment, seldom go beyond the very threshold of criticism, _i. e._ the discovery of faults. I am infinitely amused at the extreme curiosity which appears to me to be the besetting sin of the people here. A gentleman whom you know (as for instance, in my case,) very slightly, will sit down by your table during a morning visit, turn over every article upon it, look at the cards of the various people who have called upon you, ask half-a-dozen questions about each of them, as many about your own private concerns; and all this, as though it were a matter of course that you should answer him, which I feel greatly inclined occasionally not to do.

_Saturday, 22d._

Rose at eight. After breakfast, dawdled about till near one o'clock: got into a hackney coach[16] with D----, and returned all manner of cards.

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Went into a shop to order a pair of shoes. The shopkeepers in this place, with whom I have hitherto had to deal, are either condescendingly familiar, or insolently indifferent in their manner. Your washer woman sits down before you, while you are _standing_ speaking to her; and a shop-boy bringing things for your inspection not only sits down, but keeps his hat on in your drawing-room. The worthy man to whom I went for my shoes was so amazingly ungracious, that at first I thought I would go out of the shop; but recollecting that I should probably only go farther and fare worse, I gulped, sat down, and was measured. All this is bad: it has its origin in a vulgar misapprehension, which confounds ill-breeding with independence, and leads people to fancy that they elevate themselves above their condition by discharging its duties and obligations discourteously.[17]

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Came home: wrote journal, practised, dressed for dinner. At five, went into our neighbour's: Dr. ----, the rector of Grace Church, was the only stranger. I liked him extremely: he sat by me at dinner, and I thought his conversation sufficiently clever, with an abundance of goodness, and liberal benevolent feeling shining through it. We retired to our room, where Mrs. ---- made me laugh extremely with sundry passages of her American experiences. I was particularly amused with her account of their stopping, after a long day's journey, at an inn somewhere, when the hostess, who remained in the room the whole time, addressed her as follows: "D'ye play?" pointing to an open piano-forte. Mrs. ---- replied that she did so sometimes; whereupon the free-and-easy landlady ordered candles, and added, "Come, sit down and give us a tune, then;" to which courteous and becoming invitation Mrs. ---- replied by taking up her candle, and walking out of the room. The pendant to this is Mr. ----'s story. He sent a die of his crest to a manufacturer, to have it put upon his gig harness. The man sent home the harness, when it was finished, but without the die; after sending for which sundry times, Mr. ---- called to enquire after it himself, when the reply was:--

"Lord! why I didn't know you wanted it."

"I tell you, I wish to have it back."

"Oh, pooh! you can't want it much, now--do you?"

"I tell you, sir, I desire to have the die back immediately."

"Ah well, come now, what'll you take for it?"

"D'ye think I mean to sell my crest? why you might as well ask me to sell my name."

"Why, you see, a good many folks have seen it, and want to have it on their harness, as it's a pretty looking concern enough."

So much for their ideas of a crest. This though, by the by, happened some years ago.

After the gentlemen joined us, my father made me sing to them, which I did with rather a bad grace, as I don't think any body wished to hear me but himself.

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Dr. ---- is perfectly enchanting. They left us at about eleven. Came to bed.

_Sunday, 23d._

Rose at eight. After breakfast, went to church with D----. There is no such thing, I perceive, as a pew-opener; so, after standing sufficiently long in the middle of the church, we established ourselves very comfortably in a pew, where we remained unmolested. The day was most lovely, and my eyes were constantly attracted to the church windows, through which the magnificent willows of the burial-ground looked like golden green fountains rising into the sky.

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The singing in church was excellent, and Dr. ----'s sermon very good, too: he wants sternness; but that is my particular fancy about a clergyman, and by most people would be accounted no want. It was not sacrament Sunday; D---- was disappointed; and I mistaken. Mr. ---- walked home with us. After church, wrote journal. ---- called, and sat with us during dinner, telling us stories of the flogging of slaves, as he himself had witnessed it in the south, that forced the colour into my face, the tears into my eyes, and strained every muscle in my body with positive rage and indignation: he made me perfectly sick with it. When he was gone, my father went to Colonel ----'s. I played all through Mr. ----'s edition of Cinderella, and then wrote three long letters, which kept me up till nearly one o'clock. Oh, bugs, fleas, flies, ants, and musquitoes, great is the misery you inflict upon me! I sit slapping my own face all day, and lie thumping my pillow all night: 'tis a perfect nuisance to be devoured of creatures _before_ one's in the ground; it isn't fair. Wrote to Mr. ----, to ask if he would ride with me on Tuesday. I am dying to be on horseback again.

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_Monday, 24th._