Part 17

After breakfast, practised: Mr. and Mrs. ---- called, also Dr. ----. Went and saw poor Mrs. ---- for a little time; she interests me most extremely--I like her very very much. Came up to my own room; read a canto of Dante. Was called down to see folk, and found the drawing-room literally thronged. The first face I made out was Mr. ----'s, for whom I have taken an especial love: two ladies, a whole load of men, and Mr. ----, who had brought me a curious piece of machinery, in the shape of a musical box, to look at. It contained a little bird, no larger than a large fly, with golden and purple wings, and a tiny white beak. On the box being wound up, this little creature flew out, and, perching itself on the brink of a gold basin, began fluttering its wings, opening its beak, and uttering sundry very melodious warblings, in the midst of which, it sank suddenly down, and disappeared, the lid closed, and there was an end. What a pity 'tis that we can only realise fairy-land through the means of machinery. One reason why there is no such thing left as the believing faculty among men, is because they have themselves learnt to make magic, and perform miracles. When the coast was once more clear, I returned to my room, got out things for the theatre, dined _tête-à-tête_ with D----; my father dined at the public table. After dinner, came up stairs, read Grahame, wrote journal, began my novel under another shape. I can't write prose; (query, can I any thing else?) I don't know how, but my sentences are the comicalest things in the world; the end forgets the beginning, and the whole is a perfect labyrinth of parenthesis within parenthesis. Perhaps, by the by, without other view, it would be just as well if I exercised myself a little in writing my own language, as the grammar hath it, "with elegance and propriety." At half-past five, went to the theatre. The play was Romeo and Juliet; the house not good. Mr. ---- played Romeo.

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I acted like a wretch, of course; how could I do otherwise? Oh, Juliet! vision of the south! rose of the garden of the earth! was this the glorious hymn that Shakspeare hallowed to your praise? was this the mingled strain of Love's sweet going forth, and Death's dark victory, over which my heart and soul have been poured out in wonder and ecstasy?--How I do loathe the stage! these wretched, tawdry, glittering rags, flung over the breathing forms of ideal loveliness; these miserable, poor, and pitiful substitutes for the glories with which poetry has invested her magnificent and fair creations--the glories with which our imagination reflects them back again. What a mass of wretched mumming mimicry acting is! Pasteboard and paint, for the thick breathing orange groves of the south; green silk and oiled parchment, for the solemn splendour of her noon of night; woolen platforms and canvass curtains, for the solid marble balconies and rich dark draperies of Juliet's sleeping-chamber, that shrine of love and beauty; rouge, for the startled life-blood in the cheek of that young passionate woman; an actress, a mimicker, a sham creature, me, in fact, or any other one, for that loveliest and most wonderful conception, in which all that is true in nature, and all that is exquisite in fancy, are moulded into a living form. To _act_ this! to _act_ Romeo and Juliet! horror! horror! how I do loathe my most impotent and unpoetical craft!

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In the last scene of the play, I was so mad with the mode in which all the preceding ones had been perpetrated, that, lying over Mr. ----'s corpse, and fumbling for his dagger, which I could not find, I, Juliet, thus apostrophised him,--Romeo being dead--"why, where _the_ devil _is_ your dagger, Mr. ----!" What a disgusting travesty. On my return home, I expressed my entire determination to my father to perform the farce of Romeo and Juliet no more. Why, it's an absolute _shame_ that one of Shakspeare's plays should be thus turned into a mockery. I received a note from young Mr. ----, accompanied by a very curious nosegay in shells; a poor substitute for the breathing, fresh, rosy flowers he used to furnish me with, when I was last here.

_Thursday, 6th._

The morning was beautifully bright and warm, like a May morning in England. After breakfast, practised for two hours: while doing so, was interrupted by Mr. ----, who came to bid us good-by. He was going on to New York, and thence to England.

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He sat some time. When he was gone, and I had finished my practising, came up to my own room. Was summoned thence to see my kinsman, who sat some time with me, and whom I like of all things. He makes it out (for he seems a great meddler in these matters) that we are originally Italian people, pirates by name, Campo Bello; the same family as the Scottish Campbells; the same family as the Norman Beauchamps: how I only wish it were true! I have, and always have had, the greatest love and veneration for old blood; I would rather by far have some barbarous Saxon giant to my ancestor, than all the wealth of the earth to my dower. I parted from my friend with much regret; he has won my heart fairly. When he was gone, came up to my own room. The day was brilliant and unclouded; and, as I looked into the serene blue sky, my spirit longed for wings.

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Dr. ---- called this morning, and interested me by a long account of Webster; in the course of which, however, he gave me, if possible, a stronger distaste than I had before to the form of government in this country, from various results which he enumerated as inevitably belonging to it. Read a canto in Dante: it consoles me to read my Italian, and forget for a time all that is.

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I sat watching the glorious sunset, as it came redly streaming into my room, touching every thing with glory, and shining through my hair upon my book. It suggested to me a picture; and I wrote one for Mrs. ----, who had been consulting me about a costume in which to sit for her portrait. Dined at five: my father dined out. After dinner, sat writing journal till ten, when he returned. The moon was shining soft and full, and he asked me if I would take a walk. I bonneted and booted, and we sallied forth to the Schuylkill. The moon withdrew herself behind a veil of thin white clouds, but left a grey clear light over the earth, and through the sky. We reached the Fair Mount bridge at about eleven. The turnpike was fast, and every body asleep, so we climbed over the gate, and very deliberately pursued our way through the strange dark-looking covered bridge, where the glimmering lamps, at distant intervals, threw the crossing beams and rafters into momentary brightness, that had a strange effect contrasted with the surrounding gloom.[75] We reached the other side, and, turning off from the road, began climbing the hill opposite the breakwater. The road was muddy in the valley with heavy rains; and unwilling to wade through the dirt, we clambered along a paling for several yards, and so escaped the mire. My father steered for the grassy knoll just opposite Fair Mount; and there, screened by a thicket of young cedar bushes, with the river breaking over the broad dam far below us, and the shadowy banks on the other side melting away in the soft grey light, we sat down on a tree trunk. Here we remained for upwards of a quarter of an hour without uttering a syllable; indeed, we had not spoken three words since we set out. My father was thinking, I presume, of ---- something; I, of the day of judgment--when these thick forests, and wide strong waters, like a shrivelled scroll, are to burn to ashes before the coming of God's justice. We were disturbed by a large white spaniel dog, who, coming down from among the cedar bushes, reminded me of the old witch stories, and Faust. We arose to depart, and took our way towards the Market Street bridge, along the banks of the river. The broken notes of a bugle-horn came at intervals across the sleeping waters from the opposite shore, where shone reflected the few lingering lights from the houses that had not yet shut up for the night. The moon, faintly struggling through the clouds, now touched the dark pyramids of the cedar trees that rose up into the grey sky, and threw our shadows on the lonely path we were pursuing, now cast a pale gleam through the rapid clouds that chased one another like dreams across the sky. The air was soft and balmy as the night air of mid August. The world was still; and, except our footfalls, as we trudged along, no sound disturbed the universal repose. We did not reach home till half-past twelve. As we walked down Market Street, through the long ranges of casks, the only creatures stirring, except some melancholy night-loving cat, my father said very calmly, "How I do wish I had a gimlet."--"What for?"--"What fun it would be to pierce every one of these barrels." For a gentleman of his years, this appeared to me rather a juvenile prompting of Satan; and as I laughingly expostulated on the wickedness of such a proceeding, he replied with much innocence, "I don't think they'd ever suspect me of having done it;" and truly I don't think they would. Came home, and to bed. That was a curious fancy of my father's.

A PICTURE.

Through the half open'd casement stream'd the light Of the departing sun. The golden haze Of the red western sky fell warm and bright Into that chamber large and lone: the blaze Touch'd slantingly curtain and couch, and threw A glory over many an antique gem, Won from the entombed cities that once grew At the volcano's foot. Mingled with them Stood crystal bowls, through which the broken ray Fell like a shower of precious stones, and lay Reflected upon marble; these were crown'd With blushing flowers, fresh and glittering yet With diamond rain-drops. On the crimson ground A shining volume, clasp'd with gold and jet, And broken petals of a passion-flower Lay by the lady of this silent bower. Her rippling hair fell from her pearly round That strove to clasp its billowy curls: the light Hung like a glory on their waves of gold. Her velvet robe, in many a violet fold, Like the dark pansy's downy leaf, was bound With a gold zone, and clasp'd with jewels bright, That glow'd and glanced as with a magic flame Whene'er her measured breathing stirr'd her frame. Upon her breast and shoulders lay a veil Of curious needle-work, as pure and pale As a fine web of ivory, wrought with care, Through which her snowy skin show'd smooth and fair. Upon the hand that propp'd her drooping head, A precious emerald, like a fairy well, Gleam'd with dark solemn lustre; a rich thread Of rare round pearls--such as old legends tell The Egyptian queen pledged to her Roman lord, When in her cup a kingdom's price she pour'd,-- Circled each soft white arm. A painter well Might have been glad to look upon her face, For it was full of beauty, truth, and grace; And from her lustrous eyes her spirit shone Serene, and strong, and still, as from a throne.

_Friday, 7th._

A break. Found ---- in the breakfast-room. The morning was very unpropitious; but I settled to ride at one, if it was tolerably fine then. He remained pottering a long time: when he was gone, practised, habited, went in, for a few minutes, to Mrs. ----. At one the horses came; but mine was brought without a stirrup, so we had to wait, Lord knows how long, till the blundering groom had ridden back for it. At length we mounted. "Handsome is that handsome does," is verity; and, therefore, pretty as was my steed, I wished its good looks and itself at the devil, before I was halfway down Chestnut Street. It pranced, and danced, and backed me once right upon the pavement. We took the Laurel Hill road. The day was the perfection of gloom--the road six inches deep in heavy mud. We walked the whole way out! my father got the cramp, and lost his temper. At Laurel Hill we dismounted, and walked down to the river side. How melancholy it all looked! the turbid rhubarby water, the skeleton woods, the grey sky, and far winding away of the dark rocky shores; yet it was fine even in this gloom, and wonderfully still. The clouds did not move,--the water had not the faintest ripple,--the trees did not stir a branch; the most perfect and profound trance seemed to have fallen upon every thing. ---- and I scrambled down the rocks towards the water, expatiating on the capabilities of this place, which was once a country-seat, and with very little expense might be made a very enchanting as well as a very comfortable residence; always excepting, of course, the chance of fever and ague during the summer months, when the whole of the banks of the Schuylkill, high and rocky as they are, are considered so unhealthy, that the inhabitants are obliged to leave their houses until the winter season, when the country naturally loses half its attractions. At half-past three, we mounted, and, crossing the river, returned home by a much better road. My horse, however, was decidedly a brute,--pulled my arms to pieces, cantered with the wrong leg foremost, trotted in a sort of scuttling fashion, that rendered it utterly impossible to rise in the stirrup, and, instead of walking, jogged the breath out of my body. I was fairly done up when we reached home. Dressed, and dined; ---- dined with us. After dinner, went and sat with Mrs. ----. So it seems Carolina is in a state of convulsion. Reports have arrived that the Nullifiers and Unionists have had a fight in Charleston, and that lives have been lost. "Bide a wee," as the Scotchman says; we talk a good deal on the other side the water of matters that are far enough off; but as for America, the problem is not yet solved--and this very crisis (a more important one than has yet occurred in the political existence of this country) is threatening to slacken the bonds of brotherhood between the states, and shake the Union to its centre. The interests of the northern states are totally different from, and in some respects opposite to, those of the southern ones.

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The tariff question is the point in debate; and the Carolinians have, it seems, threatened to secede from the Union in consequence of the policy pursued with regard to that. I was horrified at Dr. ----'s account of the state of the negroes in the south. To teach a slave to read or write is to incur a penalty either of fine or imprisonment. They form the larger proportion of the population, by far; and so great is the dread of insurrection on the part of the white inhabitants, that they are kept in the most brutish ignorance, and too often treated with the most brutal barbarity, in order to insure their subjection. Oh! what a breaking asunder of old manacles there will be, some of these fine days; what a fearful rising of the black flood; what a sweeping away, as by a torrent, of oppressions and tyrannies; what a fierce and horrible retaliation and revenge for wrong so long endured--so wickedly inflicted. When I came in to tea, at half-past eight, found Dr. ---- there.

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When he was gone, sang a song or two, like a crow in the quinsy.

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_Wednesday, 12th._

After breakfast, went to rehearsal; after rehearsal, went to ----'s. It poured with rain. Came home; put out things for the theatre; practised for an hour; finished letter to ----; wrote journal; dined at three. After dinner, went and sat with Mrs. ----. Sang to her all my old Scotch ballads; read the first act of the Hunchback to her. At half-past five, went to the theatre. Play, King John; house good: I played horribly. My voice, too, was tired with my exertions, and cracked most awfully in the midst of "thunder," which was rather bad.

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I had finished early, and came home in my dress in order to show it to Mrs. ----. She was just gone to bed, but admitted me.

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Sat talking to her until my father came home. So "Old Hickory" means to lick the refractory southerns: why they are coming to a civil war! However, the grumblers haven't the means of fighting without emancipating and arming their slaves. That they will not and dare not do; the consequence will be, I suppose, that they will swallow the affront, and submit.

_Thursday, 13th._

While dressing, had the pleasure of witnessing from my window a satisfactory sample of the innate benevolence, gentleness, and humanity of our nature: a child of about five years old, dragging a cat by a string tied to its throat round and round a yard, till the poor beast ceased to use its paws, and suffered itself to be trailed along the ground, after which the little fiend set his feet upon it, and stamped and kicked it most brutally. The blood came into my face; and, though almost too far for hearing, I threw up the sash, and at the top of my voice apostrophised the little wretch with "Hollo there! wicked, naughty boy!" He seemed much puzzled to discover whence this appeal proceeded, but not at all at a loss to apply it; for, after looking about with a very conscience-stricken visage, he rushed into the house, dragging his victim with him. I came down, fairly sick, to breakfast. After despatching it, I put on my bonnet and walked round to the house where this scene had taken place. I enquired for the child, describing his appearance, and he was presently brought to me; when I sat down at the foot of the stairs in the hall, and spent some time in expatiating on the enormity of such proceedings to the little ruffian, who, it seems, has frequently been corrected for similar ferocities before. I fear my preachment will not avail much. Came home, put room to rights, practised for an hour; got ready, and dawdled about most dreadfully, waiting for D----, who had gone out with my father. At half-past twelve, set off with her to the riding-school. It was full of women in long calico skirts, and gay bonnets with flaunting feathers, riding like wretches; some cantering, some trotting, some walking--crossing one another, passing one another in a way that would have filled the soul of Fossard with grief and amazement. I put on a skirt and my riding-cap, and mounted a rough, rugged, besweated white-brown beast, that looked like an old trunk more than any thing else, its coat standing literally on end, like "quills upon the fretful porcupine," with heat and ill condition. 'Tis vain attempting to ride like a Christian on these heathen horses, which are neither broken, bitted, nor bridled properly; and poor dumb _creturs_ have no more idea of what a horse ought to be, or how a horse ought to behave, than so many cows. My hair, presently, with the damp and the shaking, became perfectly straight. As I raised my head, after putting it up under my cap, I beheld ---- earnestly discoursing to D----. I asked for Tuesday's charger; and the school having by degrees got empty, I managed to become a little better acquainted with its ways and means. 'Tis a pretty little creature, but 'tis not half broken, is horribly ill ridden, and will never be good for any thing--what a pity! At two o'clock I dismounted: ---- walked home with us. Went in to see Mrs. ----: she seemed a good deal better, I thought; sat some time with her. Mr. ---- has sent me back my book of manuscript music: played and sang half through it. Came to my room; tried on dresses for Lady Macbeth, and the Wonder, and dressed for dinner. My father dined out. After dinner, went in to see Mrs. ----. Sat some time with her mother, her chicks, and her young doctor of a cousin, who is quite a civilised mortal. Poor Mrs. ---- was too ill to see me. Came to the drawing-room, wrote journal, played and sang till tea-time. After tea, read the history of Knickerbocker, whereat I was like to have died, through the greate merrimente its rare and excellente pleasantries did cause in me, insomuche that I lay on the sofa screaming, very much like one lunaticke.

_Friday, 14th._

After breakfast, put out things for the theatre. Practised for an hour; read and marked the Comedy of Errors, which is really great fun: perhaps not funnier than Amphytrion, but the subject is more agreeable a good deal. Read a canto in Dante; got ready for the riding-school; found ---- and Mr. ---- in the drawing-room. As we were going out, the gentlemen did not remain long. When they were gone, D---- and I set off for the riding-school. We were hardly there before ---- made his appearance: I wonder what he'll do for an _interest_, by the by, when we are gone.

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The school was quite empty, so we had it all to ourselves. D---- mounted up upon a detestable shambling brute, that wouldn't go _no how_. I had a fancy for making my little fiery charger leap over the bar, and made Mr. ---- put it down for me. The beast had no idea of such saltatory proceedings, and jerked himself over it three times most abominably. The fourth time I pushed him at it, he jumped, and I jumped too, out of the saddle on to my feet, having lighted down very comfortably at the horse's head with the reins in my hand, neither hurt nor frightened. This is the first time a horse ever had me off. I got on again, but declined leaping any more. At a quarter to three we returned home. ---- walked with us. At the corner of Sansom Street, met young ----. Heaven bless ---- from a challenge! Came home; dined: after dinner, went in and sat with Mrs. ---- till coffee-time. Showed her my dresses, and read her a scene or two of the Hunchback. Went to the theatre at half-past five. Play, the Hunchback--the house was literally crammed. I played very well, except being out in my town scene--an unwonted occurrence with me. After the play, came home, supped, and read the Wonder, which I thought wondrous dull.

_Saturday, 15th._

If I were to write a history of Philadelphia, according to the profound spirit of investigation for which modern tourists are remarkable, I should say that it was a peculiarity belonging to its climate, that Saturday is invariably a wet day. At twelve, went to rehearsal, after putting out things for the theatre. Had a long talk with Mr. ---- about Pasta, the divine,--the only reality that ever I beheld that was as fair, as grand, as glorious as an imaginary being. Shall I ever forget that woman in Medea? I am thankful I have seen her. After rehearsal, called at Mr. ----'s. Saw and carried off his head of me in Juliet. Certainly the resemblance between myself and Mrs. Siddons must be very strong; for this painting might almost have been taken for a copy of Harlowe's sketch of my aunt in Lady Macbeth: 'tis very strange and unaccountable. Came home; wrote journal: went and sat with Mrs. ---- till dinner-time. After dinner, went and sat with her again till coffee-time. Was introduced to Dr. ----, whom I liked very much.

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