Part 11

Presently Mr. ---- came in, another of our Pacific fellow-sailors. It pleases me to see them: they seem to bring me nearer to England. He gave a dreadful account of his arrival in Baltimore, and of the state to which the cholera had reduced that city. Mr. ---- amused me, by telling me that he had heard my behaviour canvassed with much censure by some man or other, who met me at Mr. ----'s, and who was horrified at my taking up a book, and then a newspaper, and, in short, being neither tragical nor comical, at a dinner-party. Of course, I must seem a very strange animal to them all; but they seem just as strange to me.

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_Wednesday, 17th._

Rose at eight. After breakfast, put out things for the theatre. At eleven, went to rehearsal. It seems there has been fighting, and rushing, and tearing of coats at the box-office; and one man has made forty dollars by purchasing and reselling tickets at an increased price. After rehearsal, came home. Mr. ---- called, and sat some time: he sails for England on the twenty-fourth. England, oh England!--yet, after all, what is there in that name? It is not my home; it is not those beloved ones' whose fellowship is half the time what we call _home_. Is it really and truly the yearning of the roots for the soil in which they grew? Perhaps it is only the restless roving spirit, that still would be where it is not. I know not. His description of American life and manners (and he knows both, for he has lived constantly in this country, and his particularities are, I believe, fairly divided between it and his own,) is any thing but agreeable.

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The dignified and graceful influence which married women, among us, exercise over the tone of manners, uniting the duties of home to the charms of social life, and bearing, at once, like the orange-tree, the fair fruits of maturity with the blossoms of their spring, is utterly unknown here. Married women are either house-drudges and nursery-maids, or, if they appear in society, comparative ciphers; and the retiring, modest, youthful bearing, which among us distinguishes girls of fifteen or sixteen, is equally unknown. Society is entirely led by chits, who in England would be sitting behind a pinafore; the consequence is, that it has neither the elegance, refinement, nor the propriety which belongs to ours; but is a noisy, rackety, vulgar congregation of flirting boys and girls, alike without style or decorum.[43] When Mr. ---- was gone, practised till dinner-time. After dinner, practised for half an hour; marked journal, till time to go to the theatre; took coffee, and away. The house was crammed again, and the play better acted than I have ever seen it out of London, though Mrs. Candour had stuck upon her head a bunch of feathers which threatened the gods; and Lady Sneerwell had dragged all her hair off her face, which needed to be as pretty as it was, to endure such an exposure. I do not wonder the New Yorkians did not approve of my Lady Teazle. If, as ---- tells me, Mrs. ---- is their idea of the perfection of good-breeding, well may my delineation of a lady be condemned as "nothing particular." Yet I am sorry I must continue to lie under their censure, for I, unfortunately for myself, have seen ladies, "ripe and real," who, from all I can see, hear, and understand, differ widely from the good manners of their "beau ideal." The fact is, I am not "_genteel_" enough, and I am conscious of it. The play went off remarkably well. Came to bed at half-past eleven.

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_Thursday, 18th._

Here is the end of October, the very mourning-time of the year with us, and my room is full of flowers, and the sun is so bright and powerful, that it is impossible to go out with a shawl, or without a parasol. Went to rehearsal at twelve; at two, came in and habited; and at half-past two, rode out with my father. We took the road to the Schuylkill at once, through Arch Street, which is a fine, broad, long street, running parallel with Chestnut Street. We walked along the road under the intense sunlight that made all things look sleepy around. Turning between some rising banks, through a defile where the road wound up a hill, we caught a glimpse of a white house standing on the sunny slope of a green rise. The undulating grounds around were all bathed in warm light, relieved only by the massy shadows of the thick woods that sheltered them. It was a bit of England.

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Some good farming and tidy out-houses, and dependencies, completed the resemblance, and made me think that this must be the dwelling of some of my own country people. How can they live here? Here, even in the midst of what is fair and peaceful in nature, I think my home would haunt me, and the far-off chiming of the waves against her white shores resound in my ears through the smooth flowing of the Schuylkill.[44] After pursuing a level uninteresting road for some time, we turned off to the right, and, standing on the brow of a considerable declivity, had a most enchanting glimpse of the Schuylkill and its woody shores. The river makes a bend just above the water-works, and the curving banks scooping themselves form a lovely little sunny bay. It was more like a lake, just here, than a flowing stream. The sky was so blessedly serene, and the air so still, that the pure deep-looking water appeared to sleep, while the bright hues of the heavens, and the glowing lints of the woody shores, were mirrored with wondrous vividness on its bosom. I never saw such gorgeousness, and withal such perfect harmony of colouring. The golden sky, the mingled green, brown, yellow, crimson, and dark maroon, that clothed the thickets; the masses of grey granite, with the vivid mossy green that clung round them; the sunny purple waters; the warm red colour of the road itself, as it wound down below, with a border of fresh-looking turf on either side of it; the radiant atmosphere of rosy light that hung over all; all combined to present a picture of perfect enchantment. The eye was drunk with beauty.[45] How I though t of Mr. ----. Indeed a painter would have gone crazy over it, and I, who am not a painter, was half crazy that I was not. Though if I had been, what would it have availed? Such colours are from God's pallet, and mortal hand may no more copy, than it could mingle them. We rode on through scenery of the same description, passing in our way a farm and dairy, where the cattle were standing, not in open pastureland, but in a corner of forest-ground, all bright with the golden shedding of the trees; it was very picturesque. A little runlet of water, too, that held the middle of a tangled ravine, ran glittering like a golden snake through the underwood, while the stems of the trees, and the light foliage on the edge of the thick woody screens, were bathed in yellow sunshine. All around was beautiful, and rich, and harmonious to the eye, and should have been so to the spirit.

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Returned home at about half-past five, dined at six; found another beautiful nosegay waiting for me, from my unknown furnisher of sweets. This is almost as tantalising as it is civil; and I would give half my lovely flowers to find out who sends them to me. Distributed them all over the room, and was as happy as a queen. Mr. ---- called. My father was obliged to go out upon business, so D---- and I had to entertain that worthy youth. He seems to have a wonderful veneration for a parcel of scribblers, whose names were never heard of in England, beyond the limits of their own narrow coteries. But he speaks like an enthusiast of the woods and waters of his glorious country, and I excuse his taste in poetry. Now isn't this strange, that a man who can feel the amazing might, majesty, and loveliness of nature, can endure for a moment the mawkish scribbling of these poetasters? Verily, we be anomalous beasts.

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AUTUMN.

Thou comest not in sober guise, In mellow cloak of russet clad-- Thine are no melancholy skies, Nor hueless flowers pale and sad; But, like an emperor, triumphing, With gorgeous robes of Tyrian dyes, Full flush of fragrant blossoming, And glowing purple canopies. How call ye this the season's fall, That seems the pageant of the year, Richer and brighter far than all The pomp that spring and summer wear? Red falls the westering light of day On rock and stream and winding shore; Soft woody banks and granite grey With amber clouds are curtain'd o'er; The wide clear waters sleeping lie Beneath the evening's wings of gold, And on their glassy breast the sky And banks their mingled hues unfold. Far in the tangled woods, the ground Is strewn with fallen leaves, that lie Like crimson carpets all around Beneath a crimson canopy. The sloping sun with arrows bright Pierces the forest's waving maze; The universe seems wrapt in light,-- A floating robe of rosy haze. Oh, Autumn! thou art here a king; And round thy throne the smiling Hours A thousand fragrant tributes bring Of golden fruits and blushing flowers.

Oh, not upon thy fading fields and fells In such rich garb doth Autumn come to thee, My home!--but o'er thy mountains and thy dells His footsteps fall slowly and solemnly. Nor flower nor bud remaineth there to him, Save the faint-breathing rose, that, round the year Its crimson buds and pale soft blossoms dim In lowly beauty constantly doth wear. O'er yellow stubble lands, in mantle brown, He wanders through the wan October light; Still, as he goeth, slowly stripping down The garlands green that were the Spring's delight. At morn and eve thin silver vapours rise Around his path; but sometimes at mid-day He looks along the hills with gentle eyes, That make the sallow woods and fields seem gay. Yet something of sad sovereignty he hath-- A sceptre crown'd with berries ruby red; And the cold sobbing wind bestrews his path With wither'd leaves that rustle 'neath his tread; And round him still, in melancholy state, Sweet solemn thoughts of death and of decay, In slow and hush'd attendance, ever wait, Telling how all things fair must pass away.

_Tuesday, 23d._

At ten o'clock, went to rehearsal. Rehearsed the Hunchback, and then Fazio: this is tolerably hard work, with acting every night: we don't steal our money, that's one comfort. Came home, found a letter for me in a strange hand.

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Went on with my letter to ----: while doing so, was interrupted by the entrance of a strange woman, who sat herself down, apparently in much confusion. She told me a story of great distress, and claimed my assistance as a fellow-countrywoman. I had not a farthing of money: D---- and my father were out; so I took the reference she gave me, and promised to enquire into her condition. The greatest evil arising from the many claims of this sort which are made upon us, wherever we go, is the feeling of distrust and suspicion which they engender, and the sort of excuse which they teach us to apply plausibly to our unwillingness to answer such demands. "Oh, ten to one, an impostor," is soon said, and instances enough may unfortunately be found to prove the probability of such a conclusion. Yet in this sweeping condemnation one real case of misery may be included, and that possibility should make us pause, for 'tis one that, if afterwards detected, may be the source of heavy condemnation, and bitter regret to ourselves.[46]

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The fact is, that, to give well, one should give equally one's trouble with one's money: the one in all cases, the other where one's enquiries are satisfactorily answered.--Received a purple-bound gilt-edged periodical, published at Boston, from Mr. ----.

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The literary part of the book seems much on a par with that of similar works in England, but there was a wide difference in the excellence of the engravings. There was one from that pretty picture, the Bride's-Maid; a coarse bad engraving, but yet how much of the sadness of the original it recalled to me! It is a painful thing to look at: it brings before one too much of the sorrow of life, of the anguish that has been endured, that is daily, hourly, endured, in this prison-house of torments. After dinner, went on writing to ----, till time to go to the theatre. The house was not as full as I had expected, though a good one enough. My father looked wonderfully well and young: there is certainly some difference in acting with him; but this part fatigues me horribly.

_Wednesday, 24th._

Went to rehearsal at eleven; at half-past one, went with D---- to find out something about my yesterday's poor woman. The worst of it is, that my trouble involves necessarily the trouble of somebody else, as I cannot go trotting and exploring about by myself. The references were sufficiently satisfactory, that is, they proved that she was poor, and in distress, and willing to work. I gave her what I could, and the man by whom she is employed seems anxious to afford her work: so I hope she will get on a little. The "God bless you," of gratitude, even if uttered by guileful and unworthy lips, is surely yet a blessing if it alights on those who are seeking to do good. And if I were assured that that woman was the veriest impostor under the sun, I still should hope her prayer might descend with profit on my head; for I was sincere in my desire to do well by her. Came home, wrote a letter to ----, finished one to ----; and went to the theatre. It seems there have been

"Bloody noses and crack'd crowns, And all the currents of a heady fight,"

at the box-office, and truly the house bore witness thereto; for it was crammed from floor to ceiling. The play was the Hunchback. I played very well, in spite of no green carpet, and no letter in the letter scene, which lost one of my favourite points; one, by the by, that I am fond of, because it is all my own.

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_Thursday, 25th._

After breakfast, went to rehearsal. Came home, put out things for the theatre, made myself a belt; received a whole bundle of smart annuals from Mr. ----; spent some time in looking over their engravings. My gown looked very handsome, but my belt was too small; had to make another. The house was good, but not great. I played only so-so: the fact is, it is utterly impossible to play to this audience at all. They are so immovable, such very stocks and stones, that one is fairly exhausted with labouring to excite them, before half one's work is done.

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AUTUMN SONG.

The merriest time of all the year Is the time when the leaves begin to fall, When the chestnut-trees turn yellow and sear, And the flowers are withering one and all;

When the thick green sward is growing brown, And the honeysuckle berries are red, And the oak is shaking its acorns down, And the dry twigs snap' neath the woodman's tread.

The merriest dance that e'er was seen Is the headlong dance of the whirling leaves, And the rattling stubble that flies between The yellow ranks of the barley sheaves.

The merriest song that e'er was heard Is the song of the sobbing autumn wind; When the thin bare boughs of the elm are stirr'd, And shake the black ivy round them twined.

The merriest time of all the year Is the time when all things fade and fall, When the sky is bleak, and the earth is drear, Oh, that's the merriest month of all.

_Friday, 26th._

While I was dressing, D----, like a good angel, came in with three letters from England in her hand.

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The love of excellent friends is one of God's greatest blessings, and deserves our utmost thankfulness. The counsel of sound heads and the affection of Christian spirits is a staff of support, and a spring of rejoicing through life.

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A Mr., Mrs., and young Mr. ----, called upon us: they are the only inhabitants of this good city who have done us that honour.

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As soon as my father came in, we sallied forth to see the giantess of a ship the Americans have been building, to thresh us withal. I hooked myself up to ----, and away we strode; D---- and my father struggling after us, as best they might. The day was most beautiful; bright, sunny, and fresh. After walking at an immense pace for some time, we bethought us of looking for our _poursuivants_; but neither sign nor vestige appeared of them. We stood still and waited, and went on, and stood still again. ---- looked foolish at me, and I foolish at him: at length we wisely agreed that they had probably made the best of their way to the Navy-yard, and thither we proceeded. We found them, according to our expectations, waiting for us, and proceeded to enter the building where this lady of the seas was propped upon a hundred stays, surrounded with scaffolding, with galleries running round from the floor to the ceiling. We went on deck; in fact, the Pennsylvania has been boarded by the English in our person, before she sets foot on the sea. How I should like to see that ship launched; how she will sweep down from her holdings, and settle to the water, as a swan before swimming out! How the shores will resound with living voices, applauding her like a living creature; how much of national pride, of anticipated triumph, will be roused in every heart, as her huge wings first unfold their shadow over the sea, and she moves abroad, the glory and the wonder of the deep! How, if this ship should ever lie in an English harbour! If I were an American on board of her, I would sooner blow her up, with all the "precious freighting souls" within her, than see such a consummation. When my wonderment had a little subsided, it occurred to me that she would not, perhaps, be so available a battle-ship as one of a smaller size: it must be impossible to manoeuvre her with any promptitude.

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My father and ---- indulged in sundry right English bits of bragging, as they stood at her stern, looking down the enormous deck. I wish I knew her exact measurements: she is the largest ship ever built, larger than any East Indiaman; the largest ship in the world. How the sea will groan under her; nathless in a storm I would rather be in the veriest nutshell that ever was flung from wave-top to wave-top. How she would sink! she would go down like another Atlantis, poor ship! I have an amazing horror of drowning. Came home just in time to dine. After dinner, wrote letters; at six, went to the theatre; play, Hunchback; played so-so: the audience are detestable. The majority are so silent that they not only do not applaud the acting, but most religiously forbear to notice all noises in the house, in consequence of which some impudent women amused themselves with talking during the whole play, much "louder than the players." At one time their impertinent racket so bewildered me, that I was all but out, and this without the audience once interfering to silence them; perhaps, however, that would have been an unwarrantable interference with the sacred liberties of the people. I indulged them with a very significant glance; and at one moment was most strongly tempted to request them to hold their tongues.

_Saturday, 27th._

The poor sick lady, whose pretty children I met running about the stairs, sent to say she should be very glad if I would go in and see her: I had had sundry inward promptings to this effect before, but was withheld by the real English dread of intruding. At eleven, went to rehearsal: on my return, called on Mrs. ----.

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She interested me most extremely: I would have stayed long with her, but feared she might exhaust herself by the exertion of conversing. On my return to my own room, I sent her Mr. ----'s annuals, and the volume of Mrs. Hemans's poetry he lent me. Began practising, when in walked that interesting youth, Mr. ----, with a nosegay, as big as himself, in his hand. Flowers,--sweet blooming, fresh, delicious flowers,--in the last days of October; the very sackcloth season of the year. How they do rejoice my spirit. He sat some time, making most excessively fine speeches to me: while he was here, arrived another bouquet from my unknown friend; how nice, to be sure! all but not knowing who they come from. When my visiter was gone, wrote to ---- till dinner-time. After dinner, spent nearly the whole afternoon in dressing my pretty flowers. Sent some of them in to Mrs. ----. I don't know why, but it seemed a sad present to make to her; for I almost fear she will never see the blossoms of another year. Yet why do I say that?--is not heaven brighter than even this flowery earth?

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Finished my letter to ----; went to the theatre. My benefit: the Provoked Husband. The house was very good. I played so-so, and looked very nice. What fine breeding this play is, to be sure: it is quite refreshing to act it; but it must be heathen Greek to the American _exclusives_, I should think.

_Sunday, 28th._