Part 3
You cannot employ yourself more usefully than in adjusting the laws of disputation in coffee-houses and accidental companies, as well as in more formal debates. Among many other things which your own experience must suggest to you, it will be very obliging if you will take notice of wagerers. I will not here repeat what Hudibras says of such disputants, which is so true, that it is almost proverbial but shall only acquaint you with a set of fellows on the inns-of-court whose fathers have provided them so plentifully, that they need not be anxious to get law into their heads for the service of their country at the bar; but are of those who are sent (as the phrase of parents is) to the temple to know how to keep their own. One of these gentlemen is very loud and captious at a coffee house which I frequent, and being in his nature troubled with a humor of contradiction, though withal excessively ignorant, he has found a way to indulge this temper, go on in idleness and ignorance, and yet still give himself the air of a very learned and knowing man by the strength of his pocket. The misfortune of the thing is, I have, as it happens sometimes, a greater stock of learning than of money. The gentleman I am speaking of takes advantage of the narrowness of my circumstances in such a manner that he has read all that I can pretend to, and runs me down with a positive air, and with such powerful arguments that from a very learned person I am thought a mere pretender. Not long ago, I was relating that I had read a passage in Tacitus; up starts my gentleman in company, and pulling out his purse offered to lay me ten guineas, to be staked immediately to that gentleman’s hands, (pointing to one smoking at another table), that I was utterly mistaken. I was dumb for want of ten guineas.... There are several of this sort of fellows in town, who wager themselves into statesmen, historians, geographers, mathematicians and every other art....
Like any other man of cultivated taste and cosmopolitan training, Addison had the contempt of enlightened persons for the fanaticisms of his time. For then, as now, there was political mistrust and suspicion and fanatics were abroad. The changes were rung upon all the familiar phrases of political oratory, gold and pinchbeck alike, and the political rhetorician recklessly indulged in sentiments to which the whole tenor of his career gave the lie. The coffee houses swarmed with those who smelt treason where none existed, who scented plots where were none, who saw in innocent remarks dangerous tendencies, and beheld, in the sweet fiction of the _Spectator’s_ club a diabolical contrivance for intrigue. Very magnificently Addison handles the situation in _Spectator_ No. 46, of April 23, 1711, and we get incidentally a pretty side light on coffee house society.
ON SUSPICION.
NO. 46, SPECTATOR--ADDISON.
When I want material for this paper, it is my custom to go abroad in quest of game; and when I meet any proper subject, I take the first opportunity of setting down a hint of it upon paper. At the same time, I look into the letters of my correspondents, and if I find anything suggested in them that may afford matter of speculation, I likewise enter a minute of it in my collection of materials. By this means I frequently carry about with me a whole sheetful of hints, that would look like a rhapsody of nonsense to anyone but myself. There is nothing in them but obscurity and confusion, raving and inconsistency. In short, they are my speculations in the first principles, that (like the world in its chaos) are void of all light, distinction and order.
About a week since, there happened to me a very odd accident, by reason of one of these my papers of minutes which I had accidentally dropped at Lloyd’s coffee house, where the auctions are usually kept. Before I missed it, there was a cluster of people who had found it, and were diverting themselves with it at one end of the coffee house. It had raised so much laughter among them before I had observed what they were about, that I had not the courage to own it. The boy of the coffee house, when they had done with it, carried it about in his hand, asking everybody if they had dropped a written paper; but nobody challenging it, he was ordered by those merry gentlemen who had before perused it, to get up into the auction pulpit, and read it to the whole room, that if anyone would own it, they might. The boy accordingly mounted the pulpit, and with a very audible voice read as follows:
MINUTES.
Sir Roger de Coverly’s country seat--yes, for I hate long speeches--Query, if a good Christian may be a conjurer--Childermas day, salt cellar, house-dog, screech-owl, cricket--Mr. Thomas Inkle of London, in the good ship called the Achilles--Yarico--=Aehrescitque medendo=--Ghosts--The Lady’s Library--Lion by trade a tailor--Dromedary called Bucephalus--Equipage the Lady’s =summum bonum=--Charles Lillie to be taken notice of--Short face a relief to envy--Redundancies in three professions--King Latinus a recruit--Jew devouring a ham of bacon--Westminster Abbey--Grand Cairo--Procrastination--April fools--Blue boars, red lions, hogs in armor--Enter a king and two fiddlers =soius=--Admission into the Ugly Club--Beauty how improvable--Families of true and false humor--The parrot’s school-mistress--Face half Pict half British--No man can be a hero of a tragedy under six foot--Club of Sighers--Letters from flower-pots, elbow chairs, tapestry-figures, lion, thunder--The bell rings to the puppet-show--Old woman with a beard married to a smock-faced boy--My next coat to be turned up with blue--Fable of tongs and gridiron--Flower dyers--The soldier’s prayer--Thank ye for nothing, says the gallipot--Pactolus in the stockings with golden clocks to them--Bamboos, cudgels, drum-sticks--Slip of my landlady’s eldest daughter--The black mare with a star in her forehead--The barber’s pole--Will Honeycomb’s coat-pocket--Caesar’s behavior and my own in parallel circumstances--Poems in patchwork--=Nulli gravi est percussus Achilles=--The female conventicler--The ogle-master.
The reading of this paper made the whole coffee house very merry; some of them concluded it was written by a mad man, and others by somebody that had been taking notes out of the _Spectator_. One, who had the appearance of a very substantial citizen, told us, with several political winks and nods, that he wished there was no more in the paper than what was expressed in it: that for his part, he looked upon the dromedary, the gridiron, and the barber’s pole, to signify more than was usually meant by those words: and that he thought that the coffee man could not do better than to carry the paper to one of the secretaries of state. He farther added, that he did not like the name of the outlandish man with the golden clock in his stockings. A young Oxford scholar who chanced to be with his uncle at the coffee house, discovered to us who this Pactolus was: and by that means turned the whole scheme of this worthy citizen into ridicule. While they were making their several conjectures upon this innocent paper, I reached out my arm to the boy as he was coming out of the pulpit, to give it to me; which he did accordingly. This drew the eyes of the whole company upon me; but after having cast a cursory glance over it, and shook my head twice or thrice at the reading of it, I twisted it into a kind of match, and lighted my pipe with it. My profound silence, together with the steadiness of my countenance, and the gravity of my behavior during this whole transaction, raised a very loud laugh on all sides of me; but as I had escaped all suspicion of being the author, I was very well satisfied, and applying myself to my pipe and the Postman, took no further notice of anything that passed about me.
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In No. 9, March 19, 1710, we find an account of a Social Club formed by a few in a certain ale house. It is of a lower social strata.
_Rules to be observed in the Two-Penny Club erected in this place for the preservation of friendship and good neighborhoods._
1. Every member at his first coming shall lay down his two-pence.
2. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his own box.
3. If any member absent himself, he shall forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in case of sickness or imprisonment.
4. If any member curses or swears, his neighbor may give him a kick upon the shins.
5. If any member tells stories in the club that are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie a half penny.
6. If any member strikes another wrongfully, he shall pay his club for him.
7. If any member brings his wife into the club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes.
8. If any member’s wife comes to fetch him home from the club, she shall speak to him without the door.
9. If any member calls another a cuckold, he shall be turned out of the club.
10. None shall be permitted into the club that is of the same trade with any member of it.
11. None of the club shall have his clothes or shoes made or mended but by a brother member.
12. No non-juror shall be capable of being a member.
* * * * *
In those days there were lively happenings. Dick Turpin on his bonny Black Bess frightened travelers on Hounslow Heath, made his famous ride from London to York, in twenty-four hours, and, one gray day in November of 1714, died at Tyburn, dressed in his gayest attire with a rose at his button hole. Nor would the crowd allow his body to be given to the surgeons, for, seeing it taken from the gallows, they rescued it, carried it through the town in triumph, then buried it in a deep grave that night.
Claude Duval, too, was a popular hero, the pink of politeness, the gentleman thief it was an honor to be robbed by. He would stop a coach to dance a Sarabandi with the lady, and then rob her escort. He
Taught the wild Arabs of the road To rob in a more gentle mode; Take prizes more obligingly than those Who never had been bred =filous=; And how to hang in a more graceful fashion Than e’er was known before to the dull English nation.
* * * * *
There was a period of insane speculation commencing with the South Sea Company originated by Harley, Earl of Oxford, with a view to restore public credit. Visions of ingots danced before everyone’s eyes, and stock in any scheme rose rapidly. One bright genius, forerunner of a Ponzi, announced the formation of a company “for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is.” The prospectus announced that it required a capital of a half million pounds, of 5,000 shares of a hundred pounds each with a deposit of two pounds on application. Each subscriber paying his initial deposit would be entitled to a hundred pounds per annum per share. The following morning after the prospectus had gone forth, he opened his office in Cornhill, and when he closed that day at three, he was the winner of two thousand pounds clear, so did not re-open his office, nor stay in the country.
In the papers of the period are to be found advertisements and notices, all kinds of mad money-making propositions, as filed at the Council Chamber Whitehall. To name a few:
Petition for a wheel for perpetual motion.
For the philosopher’s stone. (Steele was interested in this question.)
Petition for incorporation to carry on a whale fishery.
On paving London Streets. Capital two million pounds.
For trading in human hair.
For the transmutation of quicksilver into malleable fine metal.
For changing lead into gold.
* * * * *
Duelling was very prevalent. Addison and Steele in the _Spectator_ were untiring in the reprobation of it. Steele constantly exposed the absurdity of the practice and endeavored to bring his readers to his way of thinking. His comedy, _The Conscious Lover_, contains an admirable exposure of the abuse of the word honor, which led men to so fanatic an absurdity. Swift, in his own savage way, remarked that he could “see no harm in rogues and fools shooting one another.” Addison summed up nearly all that could be said on the subject in the following powerful paragraph:
“A Christian and a gentleman are made inconsistent appellations of the same person. You are not to expect eternal life if you are not to forgive injuries, and your mortal life is rendered uncomfortable if you are not ready to commit a murder in resentment of an affront; for good sense, as well as religion, is so utterly banished in the world that men glory in their very passions, and pursue trifles with the utmost vengeance, so little do they know that to forgive is the most arduous pitch human nature can arrive at. A coward has often fought--a coward has often conquered, but a coward never forgave.”
Again in No. 99, June 23, 1711, Addison writes:
“The placing the point of honor in this false kind of courage, has given occasion to the very refuse of mankind, who have neither virtue nor common sense, to set up for men of honor. An English peer who has not long been dead, (this was William Cavendish, the first duke of Devonshire, who died August 18, 1707) used to tell a pleasant story of a French gentleman that visited him early one morning at Paris, and after great professions of respect, let him know that he had it in his power to oblige him; which in short, amounted to this--that he believed that he could tell his lordship the person’s name who jostled him as he came out from the opera: but before he would proceed, he begged his lordship that he would not deny him the honor of making him his second. The English Lord to avoid being drawn into a very foolish affair, told him that he was under engagements for his two next duels to a couple of particular friends; upon which the gentleman immediately withdrew, hoping his lordship would not take it ill if he meddled no further in an affair from whence he was to receive no advantage.
“The beating down of this false notion of honor in so vain and lively a people as those of France, is deservedly looked upon as one of the most glorious parts of their present king’s reign. It is a pity but the punishment of these mischievous notions should have in it some particular circumstance of shame or infamy: that those who are slaves to them may see, that instead of advancing their reputations, they lead them to ignominy and dishonor.
“Death is not sufficient to deter men who make it their glory to despise it; but if every one that fought a duel were to stand in the pillory, it would quickly lessen the number of these imaginary men of honor, and put an end to so absurd a practice.
“When honor is to support virtue’s principles, and runs parallel to the laws of God and our country, it cannot be too much cherished and encouraged: but when the dictates of honor are contrary to those of religion and equity, they are the greatest depravations of human nature, by giving wrong ambitions and ideas of what is good and laudable; and should therefore be exploded by all governments, and driven out of the bane and plague of human society.”
* * * * *
The article was penned in consequence of an affair on the 8th of May, 1711, when Sir Cholmely Deering, M.P., for the county of Kent, was slain in a duel by Mr. Richard Thornhill, also member of the House of Commons. Three days after, by the efforts of Addison, Sir Peter King brought the subject under the notice of the Legislature, and after dwelling at considerable length on the alarming increase of the practice, obtained leave to bring in a bill for the prevention and punishment of duelling.
As an Irishman, fighting against duelling, Steele was going contrary to all the traditions of his countrymen. In Ireland, not only military men, but men of every profession had to work a way to eminence with pistol or sword. Each political party had its regular corps of fire eaters who qualified themselves for the position by spending their whole time at target practice. They boasted that they could hit upon an opponent in any part of his body they pleased, and made up their minds before the encounter began whether they should kill him, disable him, or disfigure him for life.
We have it on the authority of Sir Jonah Barrington in his “Personal Sketches of His Own Time” that “no young fellow could finish his education till he had exchanged shots with some of his acquaintances. The first questions always asked as to a young man’s respectability and qualifications, particularly when he proposed for a lady-wife were--‘What family is he of?’ ‘Did he ever blaze?’”
Everywhere, as you see, there are coarse things, great and gross sensuality, wild animality, unrestrained joy and not a little bestial pleasure. Virtue had the semblance of puritanism and the memory of the days under the rule of the kill-joys was a nightmare. So, men who wrote the news sheets of the day saw nothing for it but to foster that brutal bloody impulse that seemed to sway the masses of their readers. If it was necessary to feed them, then the fare given was raw flesh, violence, blood. This must be borne in mind in order to fully appreciate the wonderful change brought about in five short years by two men of fine tastes and delicate sensibilities. Steele in No. cxxxiv of the _Tatler_, condemning the cruelty of the age, says he has “often wondered that we do not lay outside a custom which makes us appear barbarous to nations much more rude and unpolished than ourselves. Some French writers have represented this diversion of the common people much to our disadvantage, and imputed it to natural fierceness and cruelty of temper, as they do some other entertainments peculiar to our nation. I mean these elegant diversions and bull baiting and prize fighting, with the like ingenious recreation of the Bear-garden. I wish I knew how to answer this reproach that is cast upon us, and excuse the death of many innocent cocks, bulls, dogs, and bears, as have been set together by the ears, or died untimely deaths, only to make us sport.”
Bearing that in mind, I call your attention to an advertisement of the time which I copy from the Harlean MSS. 5931,46. Here it is, word for word:
At the Bear Garden in Hockley in the Hole, 1710. This is to give notice to all Gentlemen, Gamesters, and Others, that on this present Monday is a match to be fought by two dogs, one from Newgate Market against one from Honey Lane Market, at a Bull, for a Guinea to be spent. Five Let goes out off Hand, which goes fairest and farthest in, wins all; likewise a Green Bull to be baited, which was never baited before, and a Bull to be turned loose with fireworks all over him; also a Mad Ass to be baited; with variety of Bull Baiting, and Bear Baiting, and a dog to be drawn up with Fireworks.
One named Mission, a writer of the day, describes a bull fight as follows:
They tie a rope to the foot of the ox or bull, and fasten the other end of the cord to an iron ring fix’d to a stake driven into the ground, so that this cord being 15 feet long, the bull is confined to a sphere of about 30 foot diameter. Several butchers or other gentlemen, that are desirous to exercise their dogs, stand round about, each holding his own by the ears; and, when the sport begins, they let loose one of the dogs; the dog runs at the bull. The bull immovable, looks down upon the dog with an eye of scorn, and only turns a horn to him to hinder him from coming under; the dog is not daunted at this, he turns round him, and tries to get beneath his belly, in order to seize him by the muzzle, or the dew lap or the pendant glands; the bull then puts himself in a Posture of Defense; he beats the ground with his feet, which he joins together as close as possible, and his chief aim is not to gore the dog with the point of his horn, but to slide one of them into the dog’s belly (who creeps close to the ground to hinder it) and to throw him so high in the air that he may break his neck in the fall. This often happens; when the dog thinks he is sure of fixing his teeth, a turn of the horn which seems to be done with all the negligence in the world, gives him a sprawl thirty foot high, and puts him in danger of a damnable squelch when he comes down. This danger would be unavoidable, if the dog’s friends were not ready beneath him, some with their backs to give him a soft reception, and others with long poles which may offer him slant ways, to the intent that, sliding down them, he may break the force of his fall. Notwithstanding all this care a toss generally makes him sing to a very scurvy tune and draw his phiz into a pitiful grimace; but, unless he is totally stunned with the fall, he is sure to crawl again towards the bull, with his old antipathy, come on’t what will. Some times a second frisk into the air disables him forever from playing his old tricks; but, some times, too, he fastens on his enemy, and when he has seized him with his eye teeth, he sticks to him like a leech, and would sooner die than leave his hold. The bull bellows and bounds, and kicks about to shake off the dog; by his leaping, the dog seems to be no matter of weight to him though in all appearances he puts him to great pain. In the end, either the dog tears out the piece he has laid hold of, and falls, or else remains fixed to him, with an obstinacy that would never end, if they did not put him off. To call him away would be in vain; to give him a hundred blows would be as much so; you might cut him to pieces joint by joint before he would let him loose. What is to be done then? While some hold the bull, others thrust staves into the dog’s mouth and open it by main force. That is the only way to part them.
* * * * *
I copy the advertisement that follows from the Harl. MSS. 5931,50:
At the Bear Garden in the Hockley-in-the-Hole.
A Trial of Skill to be performed between two Profound Masters of the Noble Science of Defense on Wednesday next, being the 13th inst. July, 1709 at two of the clock precisely.
I, George Gray, born in the City of Norwich, who has fought in most parts of the West Indies, viz., Jamaica, Baradoes, and several other parts of the world, in all twenty-five times upon a stage and never yet was worsted, and now come to London, do invite James Harris, to meet and exercise at these following weapons, viz.:
Back Sword Sword and Dagger Sword and Buckler Single Falchion and Case of Falchions.
I, James Harris, Master of the Noble Science of Defense, who formerly was in the Horse Guards, and hath fought a 110 prizes, and never left a stage to any man, will not fail God willing, to meet this brave and bold inviter, at the time and place appointed desiring sharp swords, and from him no favor.
=Note.=--No persons to be upon the stage but the seconds. =Vivat Regina.=
There is report of a similar entertainment by the hand of Steele in No. 436 of the _Spectator_, July 21, 1712. Steele does not plunge into the blood and the filth; he passes through on tiptoe and so daintily that the mire does not stick.
“Being a person of insatiable curiosity, I could not forbear going on Wednesday last to a place of no small renown for the gallantry of the lower order of Britons, namely, the Bear-garden, at Hockley-in-the-Hole; where, (as a whitish-brown paper, put into my hands in the street, informed me) there was to be a trial of skill exhibited between two masters of the noble science of defense, at two of the clock precisely. I was not a little charmed at the solemnity of the challenge, which ran thus: