Category: Humour

Japhet, in Search of a Father

"And having now completed 'Jacob Faithful,' we trust to the satisfaction of our readers, we will make a few remarks. We commenced writing on our own profession, and having completed four tales, novels, or whatever you may please to call them" (viz., Frank Mildmay, The King's O...

Chapters

75. Chapter 75

Father and I grow warm in our argument--Obliged to give him a little schooling to show my affection--Takes it at last very kindly, and very dutifully owns himself a fool.

74. Chapter 74

Contains much learned argument upon broad-brims and garments of grey--I get the best of it--The one great wish of my life is granted--I meet my father, and a cold reception very...

78. Chapter 78

Treats of apologies, and love coming from church--We finesse with the nabob to win me a wife--I am successful in my suit, yet the lawyer is still to play the cards to enable me...

73. Chapter 73

I am a little jealous, and, like the immortal William[A] Bottom, inclined to enact more parts than one.--With a big effort my hankering after bigamy is mastered by Mr Masterton-...

23. Chapter 23

The real Simon Pure proves the worse of the two--I am found guilty, but not condemned; convicted, yet convince; and after having behaved the very contrary to, prove that I am, a...

11. Chapter 11

In which the reader is introduced to several new acquaintances, and all connected with them, except birth and parentage, which appears to be the one thing wanting throughout the...

7. Chapter 7

The next day I sent Timothy to purchase some highly rectified white brandy, which I coloured with a blue tincture, and added to it a small proportion of the essence of cinnamon,...

17. Chapter 17

Melchior's profits had been much more than he anticipated, and he was very liberal to Timothy and myself; indeed, he looked upon me as his right hand, and became more intimate a...

16. Chapter 16

In which Timothy makes a grand speech, quite as true as those delivered from the hustings--Melchior, like the candidate, states his pretentions for public favour, and the public...

72. Chapter 72

I dismissed the coach, while Mr Masterton gave his orders for dinner, and we then turned the key of the door to avoid intrusion, and I commenced. It was nearly dinner-time befor...

10. Chapter 10

Timothy and I took his advice, and were soon fast asleep. I was awakened the next morning by feeling a hand in my trouser's pocket. I seized it, and held it fast.

18. Chapter 18

I led the little sobbing girl by the hand, and we proceeded for some time in silence. It was not until we gained the high road that Timothy interrupted my reverie, by observing,...

3. Chapter 3

A tall, fresh-coloured, but hectic looking young man, stood behind the counter, making up prescriptions, and a dirty lad, about thirteen years old, was standing near with his ba...

13. Chapter 13

I kissed and consoled her; she threw her arm round my neck, and remained there with her face hid for some time. We then joined the others at supper. Melchior was much pleased wi...

76. Chapter 76

It was some time before we were sufficiently composed to enter into conversation, and then I tried my utmost to please him. Still, there was naturally a restraint on both sides,...

49. Chapter 49

"Silence," said a voice that I well knew, although his face was completely disguised. It was _Timothy!_ "Silence, Japhet," again whispered Timothy; "there is yet much danger, bu...

2. Chapter 2

Like most other children, who should be my godfather is decided by Mammon--So precocious as to make some noise in the world and be hung a few days after I was born--Cut down in...

77. Chapter 77

I took the carriage the next day, and drove to Lord Windermear's. He was at home, and I gave my name to the servant as Mr De Benyon. It was the first time that I had made use of...

79. Chapter 79

The Bengal tiger taken in the toils, which promise a speedy end to mine--I kindly permit my father to insist upon the marriage that I have set my heart upon.

57. Chapter 57

I started up from my chair, with my rattan in my hand. "Begone, you old thief," cried I; and hardly were the words out of my mouth, before Mr Emmanuel travelled out of the room,...

69. Chapter 69

"Well, I walked away, cursing all the Eton boys and all their tutors, who did not teach them honesty as well as Latin and Greek, and put up at a very humble sort of abode, where...

61. Chapter 61

I am condemned to be hung by the neck until I am dead, and to go out of the world without finding out who is my father--Afterwards my innocence is made manifest and I am turned...

19. Chapter 19

But I have omitted to mention a circumstance of great importance, which occurred at the inn the night before I placed Fleta at the boarding-school. In looking over my portmantea...

12. Chapter 12

We had been three days in the camp when the gathering was broken up, each gang taking their own way. What the meeting was about I could not exactly discover; one occasion of it...

71. Chapter 71

I went upstairs, and found that all was ready, and I took leave of Mr and Mrs Cophagus, both of whom expressed their hopes that I would not leave them for ever. "Oh, no," replie...

53. Chapter 53

I took my leave, more composed in mind, and the next day I went down to Lady de Clare's. I was kindly received, more than kindly, I was affectionately and parentally received by...

14. Chapter 14

The seed having been carefully sown, we now reap a golden harvest--We tell every body what they knew before, and we are looked upon as most marvellous by most marvellous fools.

68. Chapter 68

I could not help calling to mind that the same consequences as Timothy related in the last chapter had occurred to me during my eventful career; but I had long considered that t...

5. Chapter 5

The departure of Mr Brookes, of course, rendered me more able to follow up with Timothy my little professional attempts to procure pocket-money; but independent of these pillage...

56. Chapter 56

In the meantime, the particulars of the duel had found their way into the papers, with various comments, but none of them very flattering to me, and I received a note from Mr Ma...

6. Chapter 6

The next evening I left Timothy in charge, and repaired to her house; it was very respectable in outward appearance, as well as its furniture. I was not, however, shown up into...

35. Chapter 35

In about three hours I had narrated the history of my life, up to the very day, almost as much detailed as it has been to the reader. "And now, Mr Masterton," said I, as I wound...

55. Chapter 55

Timothy returned, and brought me consolation--the bleeding had not re-commenced, and Harcourt was in tolerable spirits. An eminent surgeon had been sent for. "Go again, my dear...

31. Chapter 31

I dressed and went out, met Harcourt, dined with him, and on my return the Major had not come home. It was then past midnight, and feeling little inclination to sleep, I remaine...

67. Chapter 67

"It's nonsense for trifles, I own, to be piping, But they who can't pity--why I pities they. Says the captain, says he; I shall never forget it, Of courage, you know, boys, the...

70. Chapter 70

I knew that he was mocking me in this reply, but I paid no attention to that; I was satisfied that he consented. I now made him assist me, and under my directions he made up the...

62. Chapter 62

I think some people shook me by the hand, and others shouted as I walked in the open air, but I recollect no more. I afterwards was informed that I had been reprieved, that I ha...

58. Chapter 58

My new career is not very prosperous at its commencement--I am robbed, and accused of being a robber--I bind up wounds, and am accused of having inflicted them--I get into a hor...

39. Chapter 39

I hastened home with feelings too painful to be described. I had a soreness at my heart, an oppression on my spirits, which weighed me down. I had but one wish--that I was dead....

40. Chapter 40

The next morning Timothy had procured me another valet, and throwing off his liveries, made his appearance in the evening, sending up to say a man wished to speak to me. He was...

66. Chapter 66

I was not yet weaned from the world, but I was fast advancing to that state, when a very smart young Quaker came on a visit to Reading. He was introduced to Mr and Mrs Cophagus,...

9. Chapter 9

We take a coach, but the driver does not like his fare and hits us foul--We change our mode of travelling upon the principle of slow and sure, and fall in with a very learned man.

37. Chapter 37

I fall very much in love with honesty because I find that it is well received in the world--and to prove my honesty, inform the whole world that honest I have never been.

64. Chapter 64

If the reader will recall my narrative to his recollection, he must observe, that religion had had hitherto but little of my thoughts. I had lived the life of most who live in t...

52. Chapter 52

How strange, now that I had succeeded in the next dearest object of my wishes, after ascertaining my own parentage, that I should have felt so miserable; but it was the fact, an...

36. Chapter 36

I hardly knew how to act--if I called the servants, my interview would be at an end, and I was resolved to find out the truth--for the same reason, I did not like to ring for wa...

26. Chapter 26

As soon as we were in the street, I commenced an inquiry as to the Major's motives. "Not one word, my dear fellow, until we are at home," replied he. As soon as we arrived, he t...

28. Chapter 28

My hand trembled as I knocked at the door. It was opened. I sent in my card, requesting the honour of an audience with his lordship. After waiting a few minutes in an ante-room,...

25. Chapter 25

The next day I went to the banker's, drew out £150, and set off with Timothy for ----. Fleta threw herself into my arms, and sobbed with joy. When I told her Timothy was outside...

59. Chapter 59

The handcuffs were now put on without resistance on my part, and I was led away to Hounslow by the two constables, while the others returned to secure the wounded man. On my arr...

4. Chapter 4

I perform a wonderful cure upon St John Long's principle, having little or no principle of my own--I begin to puzzle my head with a problem; of all others most difficult to solve.

8. Chapter 8

Looking out for business not exactly minding your own business--The loss of the scales occasions the loss of place to Timothy and me, who when weighed in other scales were found...

46. Chapter 46

There was no time for apology, and stepping over Kathleen, I buried myself under the clothes by her side. The mother then hastened downstairs, and arrived at the door just as th...

60. Chapter 60

By the committing of magisterial mistakes I am personally and penally committed--I prepare for my trial by calling in the assistance of the tailor and the perfumer--I am resolve...

80. Chapter 80

Poor Cophagus finds an end to his adventures by the means of a mad bull; I, of mine, by matrimony--Father is prettily behaved, and my Quaker wife the most fashionably dressed la...

21. Chapter 21

I sat down and took up the papers. I was immediately and strangely interested in all that I read. A secret!--it was, indeed, a secret, involving the honour and reputation of the...

43. Chapter 43

And when I reflected, I could but acknowledge that the worthy apothecary might be right, and, that I was running after shadows; but this was only in my occasional fits of despon...

44. Chapter 44

He then, after his own fashion, told me, that as executor, he must retain those papers; pointed out to me the little probability there was of their containing any information re...

41. Chapter 41

Although Mr Cophagus was very communicative in his own way, he had no curiosity with regard to others, and the conversation dropped. The other two had also asked all the questio...

45. Chapter 45

Kathleen came in with fuel to light the fire, and looking rather hard at me, passed by, and was soon, busy blowing up the turf. She was a very handsome dark-eyed girl, about nin...

15. Chapter 15

We had taken our horses for the next town; but as soon as we were fairly on the road, I stopped the boys, and told them that the Great Aristodemus intended to observe the planet...

22. Chapter 22

"Whew! that alters the case--it's astonishing how well any name looks in large _gold_ letters. Well, as the old gentleman, whoever he might have been, made you compensation, you...

24. Chapter 24

The Major prevents the landlord from imposing on me, but I gain nothing by his interference--For economical reasons I agree to live with him that he may live on me.

38. Chapter 38

The behaviour of Harcourt was certainly a good encouragement, and had I been wavering in my promise to Mr Masterton, would have encouraged me to proceed. I returned home with a...

42. Chapter 42

I watched the countenance of the agent, who appeared at last to be satisfied that there had been some mistake; at least he became more communicative, and as I no longer put any...

33. Chapter 33

This conversation took place the day after the funeral, and, attired in deep mourning, I called upon his lordship, and was admitted. His lordship had sent his carriage to attend...

47. Chapter 47

When my recollection returned I found myself in the dark, but where, I knew not. My head ached, and my brain reeled. I sat up for a moment to collect my senses, but the effort w...

32. Chapter 32

I hastened back to the Major, to examine his wound, and, with the assistance of Timothy, I stripped him sufficiently to ascertain that the ball had entered his hip, and probing...

63. Chapter 63

In half an hour afterwards Ephraim came in with a draught, which I was desired to take by Mr Cophagus, and then to try and sleep. This was good advice, and I followed it. I awok...

29. Chapter 29

I must say, that I was much annoyed at this intelligence. The money-lenders would not be satisfied unless they knew where my estates were, and had examined the will at Doctors'...

27. Chapter 27

And as I lay in my bed, thinking that I was now nearly twenty years old, and had not yet made any discovery, my heart sank within me. My monomania returned with redoubled force,...

50. Chapter 50

The next day the newspapers contained a paragraph, in which Sir Henry de Clare was stated to have committed suicide. No reason could be assigned for this rash act, was the windi...

34. Chapter 34

Timothy and I burst into laughter. "Really, Timothy," observed I, "it appears that very little art is necessary to deceive the world, for in every instance they will deceive the...

20. Chapter 20

The next morning I told my dream to Timothy, who laughed very heartily at my idea of the finger of Providence. At last, perceiving that I was angry with him, he pretended to be...

65. Chapter 65

Mr Cophagus was not idle. In a few weeks he had rented a shop for me, and furnished it much better than his own in Smithfield; the upper part of the house was let off, as I was...

30. Chapter 30

When I came down to breakfast the next morning, the Major said, "My dear Newland, I have taken the liberty of requesting a very old friend of mine to come and meet you this morn...

48. Chapter 48

Was it possible that which Melchior said was true? A little reflection told me that it was all false, and that he was himself Sir Henry de Clare. I was in his power, and what mi...

54. Chapter 54

I become principal instead of second in a duel, and risk my own and another's life, my own and others' happiness and peace of mind, because I have been punished as I deserved.

51. Chapter 51

In a few minutes Lady de Clare was sufficiently recovered to hear the outline of our history; and as soon as it was over, she insisted upon immediately going with us to the scho...

1. Chapter 1

"And having now completed 'Jacob Faithful,' we trust to the satisfaction of our readers, we will make a few remarks. We commenced writing on our own profession, and having compl...