CHAPTER FOUR TIMES.

THE AUTOMATIC LIAR

SOME POSTOFFICE FIENDS.

AGRICULTURE AT AN ALTITUDE OF 7500 FEET.

THE GENTLE YOUTH FROM LEADVILLE.

A SNIDE JOURNALIST.

HE WAS BLIND.

THOUGHTS OF THE MELLOW PREVIOUSLY.

MY TOMBSTONE MINE.

BANKRUPT SALE OF A CIRCUS.

GREELEY VERSUS VALLEY TAN.

THE ETERNAL FITNESS OF THINGS.

THEY UNANIMOUSLY AROSE AND HUNG HIM.

RHETORIC VS. WOODTICK.

THE MODEL WIFE.

SOME OVERLAND TOURISTS.

CATCHING MOUNTAIN TROUT AT AN ELEVATION OF 8000 FEET.

TROUT FISHING.

HOME-MADE INDIAN RELICS.

THE PREVIOUS REPORTER.

THE PEACE COMMISSION.

SOME ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

THE CROW INDIAN AND HIS CAWS.

THE NUPTIALS OP DANGEROUS DAVIS.

THE HOLIDAY HOG.

SOME CENSUS CONUNDRUMS.

THE GENTLE POWER OF A WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.

THE NATIVE INBORN SHIFTLESSNESS OF THE PRAIRIE DOGS.

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

THE SECRET OF GARFIELD'S ELECTION.

PERILS OF THE BUTTERNUT PICKER.

A WORD OR TWO ABOUT THE SWALLOW.

LAUGHING SAM.

THE CALAMITY JANE CONSOLIDATED.

THE NOCTURNAL COW.

THE RELENTLESS GARDEN HOSE.

A WAIL.

THE GREAT, HORRID MAN RECEIVETH NEW YEAR CALLS.

JUST THE THING.

THANKS.

AN ANTI-MORMON TOWN.

A CHRISTMAS RIDE IN JULY.

EXAMINING THE BRAND ON A FROZEN STEER.

ONION PEELIN'S.

BILL NYE'S CHESTNUTS OLD AND NEW With New Illustrations From Original Sketches, Photographs, Memoranda, and Authentic Sources, by Williams, Opper, and Hopkins. By Bill Nye 1888

CONTENTS

CHESTNUTS OLD AND NEW.

CHESTNUT-BURR. I.—THE SHAKESPEARE-BACON PUZZLE WRESTLED WITH CONSCIENTIOUSLY.

CHESTNUT-BURR II—HOW THE GLORIOUS FOURTH WAS CELEBRATED AT WHALEN'S GROVE LAST YEAR.

ENCOURAGING GREEN JOKES.

CHESTNUT-BURR III—BILL NYE FINDS COLOROW FULL OF ODD TRAITS.

AWKWARDNESS OF CARRYING WHISKY ABOUT.

THE RIGHT SORT OF BOY.

CHESTNUT-BURR IV—BILL NYE PAYS A BRIEF VISIT TO A PROFESSIONAL STAR READER.

INGRATITUDE OF THE HUMAN HEART.

CHESTNUT-BURR V—CONCERNING THE FRENCH MASTERPIECES AT THE ACADEMY OF DESIGN.

CHESTNUT-BURR VI—BILL NYE DIAGNOSTICATES THE PLAINT OF A COUNTRY COUSIN.

MEN ARE OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD.

CHESTNUT-BURR VII—BILL NYE IN THE ROLE OF AN UTE INDIAN JENKINS.

SURE CURE FOR BILIOUSNESS.

CHESTNUT-BURR VIII—IN AN UNGUARDED MOMENT BILL NYE IS CAPTURED BY A POLITICAL SIREN.

VIRTUE ITS OWN REWARD.

CHESTNUT-BURR IX—BILL NYE DESCANTS UPON YOUNG IVES'S IDEAS IN FINANCE.

THE ANTI-CLINKER BASE-BURNER BEE.

CHESTNUT-BURR X—A FEW REMARKS ON OUR HOSTELRY SYSTEM AS IT NOW PREVAILS.

PITY FOR SAD-EYED HUSBANDS.

MARRIAGE.

CHESTNUT-BURR XI—WILLIAM NYE VISITS ROYALTY FROM THE HOME OF THE HAM SANDWICH.

THAI X DID MOT DU'

A WORD OF EXPLANATION.

CHESTNUT-BURR—THE HUMORIST INTERVIEWS HIS GRACE THE DUKE IN THE IMPROVED STYLE.

THE CHINESE COMPOSITOR.

THE TRUE AMERICAN.

CHESTNUT-BURR—XII "THE OLD MAN ELOQUENT."

CHESTNUT-BURR XIV—THE AMENDE HONORABLE.

SWEET INFLUENCES OF CHANGING SEASONS.

THE MARCH OF CIVILIZATION.

CHESTNUT-BURR. XV—A BIG CORNER ON PORK.

CHESTNUT-BURR XVI-PATRICK OLESON.

PLEASURES OF SPRING.

AN UNCLOUDED WELCOME.

TOO MUCH GOD AND NO FLOUR.

CHESTNUT-BURR. XVII—LONGING FOR HOME.

DIGNITY.

CHESTNUT-BURR XVIII—THE TRUE HISTORY OF DAMON AND PYTHIAS.