Part 3

_Chorus._ Sing hum! hum! hum! for Jiggerajum! Sing haw! haw! haw! for the Salisbury Shore! Sing hi! hi! hi! for Geographi! And that's the lesson the whole world o'er.

HIGGLEDY-PIGGLEDY.

Higgledy-piggledy went to school, Looking so nice and neat! Clean little mittens on clean little hands, Clean little shoes on his feet. Jacket and trousers all nicely brushed, Collar and cuffs like snow. "See that you come home as neat to-night, Higgledy-piggledy oh!"

Higgledy-piggledy came from school, In such a woful plight, All the people he met on the road Ran screaming away with fright. One shoe gone for ever and aye, T'other one stiff with mud, Dirt-spattered jacket half torn from his back, Mittens both lost in the wood.

Higgledy-piggledy stayed in bed All a long, pleasant day, While his father fished for his other boot In the roadside mud and clay. All day long his mother must mend, Wash and iron and sew, Before she can make him fit to be seen, Higgledy-piggledy oh!

BELINDA BLONDE.

Belinda Blonde was a beautiful doll, With rosy-red cheeks and a flaxen poll. Her lips were red, and her eyes were blue, But to say she was happy would not be true; For she pined for love of the great big Jack Who lived in the Box so grim and black.

She never had looked on the Jack his face; But she fancied it shining with beauty and grace, And all the day long she would murmur and pout, Because Jack-in-the-box would never come out.

"Oh, beautiful, beautiful Jack-in-the-box, Undo your bolts and undo your locks! The cupboard is shut, and there's no one about: Oh! Jack-in-the-box, jump out! jump out!"

But alas! alas! for Belinda Blonde, And alas! alas! for her dreamings fond. There soon was an end to all her doubt, For Jack-in-the-box really _did_ jump out,--

Out with a crash and out with a spring, Half black and half scarlet, a horrible thing. Out with a yell and a shriek and a shout, His great goggle-eyes glaring wildly about.

"And what did Belinda do?" you say. Alas! before she could get out of the way, The monster struck her full on the head, And with pain and with terror she fell down dead.

MORAL.

Now all you dolls, both little and big, With china crown and with curling wig, Before you give way to affection fond, Remember the fate of Belinda Blonde! And unless you're fond of terrible knocks, _Don't_ set your heart on a Jack-in-the-box!

TOMMY'S DREAM; OR, THE GEOGRAPHY DEMON.

I hate my geography lesson! It's nothing but nonsense and names. To bother me so every Thursday, I think it's the greatest of shames. The brooklets flow into the rivers, The rivers flow into the sea; For my part, I hope they enjoy it! But what does it matter to me? Of late even more I've disliked it, More thoroughly odious it seems, Ever since that sad night of last winter, When I had that most frightful of dreams. I'd studied two hours that evening, On mountains and rivers and lakes;

When I'd promised to go down to Grandpa's, For one of Aunt Susan's plum-cakes. She sent me one, though, and I ate it On the stairs, before going to bed; And those stupid old mountains and rivers Were dancing all night through my head. I dreamed that a horrible monster Came suddenly into my room,-- A frightful Geography Demon, Enveloped in darkness and gloom. His body and head like a mountain, A volcano on top for hat; His arms and his legs were like rivers, With a brook round his neck for cravat. He laid on my trembling shoulder His fingers cold, clammy, and long; And rolling his red eyes upon me, He roared out this horrible song:--

"Come! come! rise and come Away to the banks of the Muskingum! It rolls o'er the plains of Timbuctoo, With the Peak of Teneriffe just in view; And the cataracts leap in the pale moonshine, As they dance o'er the cliffs of Brandywine.

"Flee! flee! rise and flee Away to the banks of the Tombigbee! We'll pass by Alaska's flowery strand, Where the emerald towers of Pekin stand; We'll pass it by, and we'll rest awhile On Michillimackinack's tropic isle; While the apes of Barbary frisk around, And the parrots crow with a lovely sound.

"Hie! hie! rise and hie Away to the banks of the Yang-tse-kai! There the giant mountains of Oshkosh stand, And the icebergs gleam through the shifting sand; While the elephant sits in the palm-tree high, And the cannibal feasts upon bad-boy pie.

"Go! go! rise and go Away to the banks of the Hoang-ho! There the Chickasaw sachem is making his tea, And the kettle boils and waits for thee. I'll smite thee, ho! and I'll lay thee low, On the beautiful banks of the Hoang-ho!"

These terrible words were still sounding Like trumpets and drums through my head, When the monster clutched tighter my shoulder, And dragged me half out of the bed. In terror I clung to the bedpost, But the faithless bedpost broke; I screamed out aloud in my anguish, And suddenly--well--I awoke!!-- No monster--no music--all silence, Save mother's soft accents so mild: "No, Father, you need not be anxious! I know now what troubles the child. I'll give him a little hot ginger As soon as he's fairly awake; His frightful Geography Demon Is just his Aunt Susan's plum-cake!"

POLLY'S YEAR.

JANUARY 1.

Come sit on my knee and tell me here, Polly, my dear, Polly, my dear, What do you mean to do this year?

I mean to be good the whole year long, And never do anything careless or wrong; I mean to learn all my lessons right, And do my sums, if I sit up all night. I mean to keep all my frocks so clean, Nurse never will say I'm "not fit to be seen." I mean not to break even one of my toys, And I never, oh! _never_ will make any noise. In short, Uncle Ned, as you'll very soon see, The best little girl in the world I shall be.

DECEMBER 31.

Come sit on my knee and let me hear, Polly, my dear, Polly, my dear, What you have done in the course of the year.

Oh dear! Uncle Ned, oh dear! and oh dear! I'm afraid it has _not_ been a very good year. For somehow my sums _would_ come out wrong, And somehow my frocks wouldn't stay clean long. And somehow I've often been dreadfully cross, And somehow I broke my new rocking-horse. And somehow Nurse says I have made such a noise, I might just as well have been one of the boys. In short, Uncle Ned, I very much fear You must wait for my goodness another year.

WHAT THE ROBINS SING IN THE MORNING.

Wake! wake! children, wake! Here we're singing for your sake, Chirrup! chirrup! chirrup! chee! Sweet a song as sweet can be.

Rise! rise! children, rise! Shake the poppies from your eyes. Sweet! sweet! chirrup! tweet! Morning blossoms at your feet.

Song and sweetness, dawn and dew, All are waiting now for you. Wake! wake! children, wake! Here we're singing for your sake.

THE EVE OF THE GLORIOUS FOURTH.

I.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They vowed, every one, they'd have glorious fun On the glorious Fourth of July. They spent all their money on trumpets and drums, On fish-horns and pistols and guns, On elephant crackers (which they pronounced "whackers"), On toffee, torpedoes, and buns.

II.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They said with delight, "We will sit up all night, To make ready for Fourth of July. We will beat on our drums till the constable comes, And then we will hasten away. We will toot the gay horn till the coming of morn, The morn of the glorious day."

III.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They made such a noise that the other small boys With envy were ready to die. They made such a din that the neighbors within With fury were ready to choke, With rage at the drumming and strumming and humming, The pistols and powder and smoke.

IV.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They thought 'twould be best for a moment to rest, And their toffee and buns for to try. On the steps of a house they began to carouse, And they shouted and shrieked in their glee, As they fired their guns and devoured their buns In a manner both frolic and free.

V.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, Ah! nothing they saw of the opening door, Nothing knew of the peril so nigh. A horrid great man with a watering-can Was standing behind them so still, And suddenly down on each curly crown Its contents he poured with a will.

VI.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, With squeaks and with squeals did they take to their heels, While their enemy after did fly. And he beat them with sticks, and he kicked them with kicks, And he thumped on their heads with the can, And half-way up the street he pursued them so fleet, Still thumping their heads as he ran.

VII.

Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They said, every one, that it wasn't much fun Getting ready for Fourth of July. They crept to their beds and they laid down their heads, And they slept till the sun was on high, And when they awaked, so sorely they ached, That they just could do nothing but cry.

THE DANDY CAT.

To Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Tabby de Sly His mistress remarked one day, "I'm tormented, my cat, both by mouse and by rat: Come rid me of them, I pray!

"For though you're a cat of renowned descent, And your kittenhood's long been gone, Yet never a trace of the blood of your race In battle or siege you've shown."

Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Tabby de Sly Arose from his downy bed. He washed himself o'er, from his knightly paw To the top of his knightly head.

And he curled his whiskers, and combed his hair, And put on his perfumed gloves; And his sword he girt on, which had never been drawn Save to dazzle the eyes of his loves.

And when he had cast one admiring glance On the looking-glass tall and fair, To the pantry he passed; but he stood aghast, For lo! the pantry was bare!

The pickles, the cookies, the pies were gone! And naught remained on the shelf Save the bone of a ham, which lay cold and calm, The ghost of its former self.

Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin stood sore dismayed, And he looked for the mice and rats. But they, every one, had been long since gone Far, far from the reach of cats.

For while he was donning his satin pelisse, And his ribbons and laces gay, They had finished their feast, without hurry the least, And had tranquilly trotted away.

The mistress of Green-eyes Grimalkin de Sly, A woman full stern was she. She came to the door, and she rated him sore When the state of the case she did see.

She grasped him, spite of his knightly blood, By the tip of his knightly tail; His adornments she stripped, and his body she dipped Three times in the water-pail.

She plunged him thrice 'neath the icy flood, Then turned him out-doors to dry; And terror and cold on his feelings so told, That he really was like to die.

And now in this world 'twould be hard to find, Although you looked low and high, A cat who cares less for the beauties of dress Than Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Sly.

A PARTY.

On Willy's birthday, as you see, These little boys have come to tea. But, oh! how very sad to tell! They have not been behaving well. For ere they took a single bite, They all began to scold and fight.

The little boy whose name was Ned, He wanted jelly on his bread; The little boy whose name was Sam, He vowed he would have damson jam; The little boy whose name was Phil Said, "I'll have honey! _Yes_--I--WILL!!"

BUT--

The little boy whose name was Paul, While they were quarrelling, ate it all.

JUMBO JEE.

There were some kings, in number three, Who built the tower of Jumbo Jee. They built it up to a monstrous height, At eleven o'clock on a Thursday night.

They built it up for forty miles, With mutual bows and pleasing smiles; And then they sat on the edge to rest, And partook of lunch with a cheerful zest.

And first they ate of the porkly pie, And wondered why they had built so high; And next they drank of the ginger wine, Which gave their noses a regal shine.

They drank to the health of Jumbo Jee, Until they could neither hear nor see. They drank to the health of Jumbo Land, Until they could neither walk nor stand.

They drank to the health of Jumbo Tower Until they really could drink no more; And then they sank in a blissful swoon, And flung their crowns at the rising moon.

AN INDIAN BALLAD.

Whopsy Whittlesey Whanko Whee, Howly old, growly old Indian he, Lived on the hills of the Mungo-Paws, With all his pappooses and all his squaws. There was Wah-wah-bocky, the Blue-nosed Goose, And Ching-gach-gocky, the Capering Moose: There was Pecksy Wiggin, and Squaw-pan too, But the fairest of all was Michiky Moo. Michiky Moo, the Savory Tart, Pride of Whittlesey Whanko's heart; Michiky Moo, the Cherokee Pie, Apple of Whittlesey Whanko's eye. Whittlesey Whanko loved her so That the other squaws did with envy glow; And each said to the other, "Now, what shall we do To spoil the beauty of Michiky Moo?" "We'll lure her away to the mountain top, And there her head we will neatly chop." "We'll wile her away to the forest's heart, And shoot her down with a poisoned dart." "We'll lead her away to the river-side, And there she shall be the Manito's bride." "Oh! one of these things we will surely do, And we'll spoil the beauty of Michiky Moo." "Michiky Moo, thou Cherokee Pie, Away with me to the mountain high!" "Nay, my sister, I will not roam. I'm safer and happier here at home." "Michiky Moo, thou Savory Tart, Away with me to the forest's heart!" "Nay! my sister, I will not go; I fear the dart of some hidden foe." "Michiky Moo, old Whittlesey's pride, Away with me to the river-side!" "Nay! my sister, for fear I fall! And wouldst thou come if thou heardst me call?" "Now choose thee, choose thee thy way of death! For soon thou shalt draw thy latest breath! We all have sworn that this day we'll see The last, proud Michiky Moo, of thee!" Whittlesey Whanko, hidden near, Each and all of these words did hear. He summoned his braves, all painted for war, And gave them in charge each guilty squaw: "Take Wah-wah-bocky, the Blue-nosed Goose; Take Ching-gach-gocky, the Capering Moose; Take Peeksy Wiggin, and Squaw-pan too, And leave me alone with my Michiky Moo. This one away to the mountain top, And there her head ye shall neatly chop; This one away to the forest's heart, And shoot her down with a poisoned dart; This one away to the river-side, And there she shall be the Manito's bride; Away with them all, the woodlands through! For I'll have no squaw save Michiky Moo." Away went the braves, without question or pause, And they soon put an end to the guilty squaws. They pleasantly smiled when the deed was done, Saying, "Ping-ko-chanky! oh! isn't it fun!" And then they all danced the Buffalo dance, And capered about with ambiguous prance, While they drank to the health of the lovers so true, Bold Whittlesey Whanko and Michiky Moo.

THE EGG.

Oh! how shall I get it, how shall I get it,-- A nice little new-laid egg? My grandmamma told me to run to the barn-yard, And see if just one I could beg.

"Moolly-cow, Moolly-cow, down in the meadow, Have you any eggs, I pray?" The Moolly-cow stares as if I were crazy, And solemnly stalks away.

"Oh! Doggie, Doggie, perhaps you may have it, That nice little egg for me." But Doggie just wags his tail and capers, And never an egg has he.

"Now, Dobbin, Dobbin, I'm sure you must have one, Hid down in your manger there." But Dobbin lays back his ears and whinnies, With "Come and look, if you dare!"

"Piggywig, Piggywig, grunting and squealing, Are you crying 'Fresh eggs for sale'?" No! Piggy, you're very cold and unfeeling, With that impudent quirk in your tail.

"You wise old Gobbler, you look so knowing, I'm sure you can find me an egg. You stupid old thing! just to say 'Gobble-gobble!' And balance yourself on one leg."

Oh! how shall I get it, how shall I get it,-- That little white egg so small? I've asked every animal here in the barn-yard, And they won't give me any at all.

But after I'd hunted until I was tired, I found--not one egg, but ten! And you _never_ could guess where they all were hidden,-- Right under our old speckled hen!

WOULDN'T.

She _wouldn't_ have on her naughty bib! She _wouldn't_ get into her naughty crib! She _wouldn't_ do this, and she _wouldn't_ do that, And she _would_ put her foot in her Sunday hat.

She _wouldn't_ look over her picture-book! She _wouldn't_ run out to help the cook! She _wouldn't_ be petted or coaxed or teased, And she _would_ do _exactly whatever_ she pleased.

She _wouldn't_ have naughty rice to eat! She _wouldn't_ be gentle and good and sweet! She _wouldn't_ give me one single kiss, And pray what could we do with a girl like this?

We tickled her up, and we tickled her down, From her toddling toes to her curling crown. And we kissed her and tossed her, until she was fain To promise she wouldn't say "wouldn't" again.

WILL-O'-THE-WISP.

"Will-o'-the-wisp! Will-o'-the-wisp! Show me your lantern true! Over the meadow and over the hill, Gladly I'll follow you. Never I'll murmur nor ask to rest, And ever I'll be your friend, If you'll only give me the pot of gold That lies at your journey's end."

Will-o'-the-wisp, Will-o'-the-wisp, Lighted his lantern true; Over the meadow and over the hill, Away and away he flew. And away and away went the poor little boy, Trudging along so bold, And thinking of naught but the journey's end, And the wonderful pot of gold.

Will-o'-the-wisp, Will-o'-the-wisp, Flew down to a lonely swamp; He put out his lantern and vanished away In the evening chill and damp. And the poor little boy went shivering home, Wet and tired and cold; He had come, alas! to his journey's end, But where was the pot of gold?

NONSENSE VERSES.

I.

Nicholas Ned, He lost his head, And put a turnip on instead; But then, ah me! He could not see, So he thought it was night, and he went to bed.

II.

Ponsonby Perks, He fought with Turks, Performing many wonderful works; He killed over forty, High-minded and haughty, And cut off their heads with smiles and smirks.

III.

Winifred White, She married a fright, She called him her darling, her duck, and delight; The back of his head Was so lovely, she said, It dazzled her soul and enraptured her sight.

IV.

Harriet Hutch, Her conduct was such, Her uncle remarked it would conquer the Dutch: She boiled her new bonnet, And breakfasted on it, And rode to the moon on her grandmother's crutch.

AN OLD RAT'S TALE.

He was a rat, and she was a rat, And down in one hole they did dwell. And each was as black as your Sunday hat, And they loved one another well.

He had a tail, and she had a tail; Both long and curling and fine. And each said, "My love's is the finest tail In the world, excepting mine!"

He smelt the cheese, and she smelt the cheese, And they both pronounced it good; And both remarked it would greatly add To the charms of their daily food.

So he ventured out and she ventured out; And I saw them go with pain. But what them befell I never can tell, For they never came back again.

TO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO WRIGGLES.

Don't wriggle about any more, my dear! I'm sure all your joints must be sore, my dear! It's wriggle and jiggle, it's twist and it's wiggle, Like an eel on a shingly shore, my dear, Like an eel on a shingly shore.

Oh! how do you think you would feel, my dear, If you should turn into an eel, my dear? With never an arm to protect you from harm, And no sign of a toe or a heel, my dear, No sign of a toe or a heel?

And what do you think you would do, my dear, Far down in the water so blue, my dear, Where the prawns and the shrimps, with their curls and their crimps, Would turn up their noses at you, my dear, Would turn up their noses at you?

The crab he would give you a nip, my dear, And the lobster would lend you a clip, my dear. And perhaps if a shark should come by in the dark, Down his throat you might happen to slip, my dear, Down his throat you might happen to slip.

Then try to sit still on your chair, my dear! To your parents 'tis no more than fair, my dear. For we really don't feel like inviting an eel Our board and our lodging to share, my dear, Our board and our lodging to share.

The Forty Little Ducklings.

[_A story with a certain amount of truth in it._]

The forty little ducklings who lived up at the farm, They said unto each other, "Oh! the day is very warm!" They said unto each other, "Oh! the river's very cool! The duck who did not seek it now would surely be a fool."

The forty little ducklings, they started down the road; And waddle, waddle, waddle, was the gait at which they goed. The same it is not grammar,--you may change it if you choose,-- But one cannot stop for trifles when inspired by the Muse.

They waddled and they waddled and they waddled on and on. Till one remarked, "Oh! deary me, where is the river gone? We asked the Ancient Gander, and he said 'twas very near. He must have been deceiving us, or else himself, I fear."

They waddled and they waddled, till no further they could go: Then down upon a mossy bank they sat them in a row. They took their little handkerchiefs and wept a little weep, And then they put away their heads, and then they went to sleep.

There came along a farmer, with a basket on his arm, And all those little duckylings he took back to the farm. He put them in their little beds, and wished them sweet repose, And fastened mustard plasters on their little webby toes.

Next day these little ducklings, they were very very ill. Their mother sent for Doctor Quack, who gave them each a pill; But soon as they recovered, the first thing that they did, Was to peck the Ancient Gander, till he ran away and hid.

THE MOUSE.

I'm only a poor little mouse, Ma'am. I live in the wall of your house, Ma'am. With a fragment of cheese, And a _very few_ peas, I was having a little carouse, Ma'am.