Part 5

_Item._ In the _Proom Close_, three Robin Run-hole, four Hare, _hur own Coods if hur can catch hur_.

_Item._ In the _Parn_ one half Heblet of Oate, seven Pea, two Pean.

_Item._ In the _Study_ (_py Cot hur was almost forgot hur_) One Welch Pible, two Almanack, one _Erra Pater_,[F. 45] one Seven Champions[F. 46] for St _Taffy_ sake, twelve Pallat,[F. 47] one Pedigree.

_Item._ In the _Closet_ Two Straw hat, one louse.

_Item._ In the _Ped_. Two naked Pody, one Shirt, one Flannel smock at hur Ped's head.

_Item._ More Cattle about the House. Two Tog, three Cat, twelve Mouse (_pox on hur, was eat hur toot Cheese_) 1000 White Flea with black Pack.

_Item._ More Lumber about the _House_. One Wife, two Shild, one call hur Plack _Shack_, and t'other little _Morgan_.

_Item._ In the _Yard_ under the Wall, one Wheel, two Pucket, one Ladder, two Rope.

_This Inventory taken Note in the presence of hur own Cusen_ Rowland Merideth _ap_ Howel _and_ Lowellin Morgan _ap_ William _in_ Anno 1849,[F. 48] _upon the Ten and Thirtieth of Shune_.

The above named _William Morgan_ dyed when hur had threescore and twenty years, thirteen Months, one Week and Seven days.

_A NOTE of some LEGACY of a creat deal of Coods, bequeathed to hur Wife and hur two Shild, and all hur Cusens, and Friends and Kindred in the Manner as followeth._

_Imprimis._ Was give hur teer Wife, _Shone Morgan_, awl hur Coods in the Ped, over the Ped, and under the Ped.

_Item._ Was give to hur eldest Son _Plack Shack_, 40 and 12 Card to play at Whipper Shinny 4 Try to sheat hur Cusen: besides awl her Land to the fule value of 20 and 10 shillings 3 groats per Annum.

_Item._ Was give to hur second Son, Little _Morgan_ ap _Morgan_, hur short ladder under the Wall in the Yard and two Rope.[F. 49]

_Item._ Was give to hur Cusen _Rowland Merideth_ ap _Howell_ and _Lewellin Morgan_ whom was made her Executor, full power to pay awl hur Tet, when hur can get Money.

Seal'd and deliver'd in the Presence of _Evan_ ap _Richard_, ap _Shinkin_, ap _Shone_, hur own Cusen the Tay and Year above written.

Licens'd and Enter'd.

London. Printed by and for W. O.[F. 50] and sold by the Booksellers.

[Footnote 43: Doublet.]

[Footnote 44: Dairy.]

[Footnote 45: An astrological almanac.]

[Footnote 46: Chap-book of the "Seven Champions of Christendom."]

[Footnote 47: Ballads.]

[Footnote 48: Probably antedated two centuries to make it more comical.]

[Footnote 49: Is this legacy a gentle intimation to his son that he may hang himself?]

[Footnote 50: Is this William Onley, who published from 1650 to 1702?]

_Upon one_ Day _that ran away, and laid the Key under Door_.

Here _Night_ and _Day_ conspire a cheating flight, [25.] For _Day_ they say, is run away by _Night_. The Day is past, why, Landlord! where's your rent, Cou'd you not see the Day is almost spent. Had you but Kept the Watch well, I suppose, 'Twas no hard thing to Know how the _Day_ goes? _Day_ sold and pawn'd and put off what he might, Though it were ne'er so dark, _Day_ would be light: That he away with so much Rent should get, Though _Day_ were light, 'twas no light matter yet. You had one Day a Tenant, and wou'd fain Your Eyes might one day see that Day again. No, Landlord, No; you now may truly say, And to your cost too, you have lost a Day, By twy-light _Day_ is neither Day nor Night; What then? 'twixt both, he's an _Hermaphrodite_. Day is departed in a Mist, I fear, For _Day_ is broke, yet does not Day appear: His pale face now does Day in Owl light shrowd, Truth is, at present _Day's_ under a Cloud. If you wou'd meet with _Day_ you must be wiser, And up betimes, for Day's an early riser. Broad Day is early up, but you begin To rouze, and then broad Day is shutting in. From Sun to Sun are the set times of Pay, But you should have been up by break of Day: Yet if you had? you had got nothing by 't. For _Day_ was Cunning and broke over Night. _Day_ like a Candle is gone out, and where, None knows, except to th' other Hemisphear. You must go look the _Day_ with Candle light, This _Day_ was sure begotten in the Night. The Lanthorn-looker,[F. 51] if he now began, Might find the _Day_, but scarce the honest Man. Well, _Day_ farewel; be't spoke to thy small praise There's little honesty found now a Day's. In vain you do yourself this trouble give, You'l never make an even day while you live; And yet, who trusted him for any Summe, Might have their mony, if the _Day_ were come. And when will that be; when the Devil's blind; You will this _Day_ at the _Greek_ Calends find. For, if the Sun doth hang _behind_ the Change, If you can find the _Day before_ 'tis strange. Then to the Tavern, Landlord, let's away, Chear up your heart, hang't, 'tis a broken Day. And for your Rent, never thus Rent your Soul, E're long you'l see _Day_ at a little hole: Look at the _Counter_[F. 52] when you go that way, Early enough, and you'l see peep of _Day_. But how now Landlord? what's the matter pray? What, can't you sleep, you do so long for _Day_? Have you a mind, Sir, to arrest the _Day_? There's no such Sergeant as a _Joshua_. Why, Landlord, is the Quarter out I pray; That you Keep such a quarter for the Day? Put off your passion, pray; true, 'tis a Summe: But don't you know that a Pay-day will come? I'le warrant you, do you but banish sorrow, My life for yours, _Day_ comes again to morrow.

[Footnote 51: Diogenes.]

[Footnote 52: One of the city prisons.]

[26.] A Person of Quality in this Kingdom, was one night at Supper at _Pickadilly house_ which was then an Ordinary and great Gaming House, where he had bowled all day; and after Supper he call'd for some Cheese, which it seems was very thin and lean; then he ask't the Master of the House, where those Cows went, of whose Milk that Cheese was made? He told him they graz'd not far off; then he swore a great Oath that he was Confident that they never fed in any other place than his Bowling Alley, which was made good by the fatness of the Cheese they now tasted of, for it cries _Rub, rub_, in the eating of it, when 'tis so long a going down.

Another person of Quality also, in this Kingdom, amongst other Gentlemen, did often meet at a Bowling Ally, which stood next to the Church-yard; and the Parson of that Church had this Benefit, That if any did swear there, he was to have 12d for every Oath: This Person aforesaid, happened to swear a great _Goliah_ Oath, upon which the Parson demanded 12d. which he gave him; and after that swore many others, for which he paid 12d a piece; and then swearing another, he demanded 12d as before; then he pluckt out of his pocket a 20 Shilling piece and bid him give him 19s. again. _Sir_, says he, _I cannot_. _Why then_, says he, _take it for I intend to swear it out_.

THE GREAT BOOBEE.[F. 53]

To a pleasant New Tune or _Sallenger's Round_.

My Friend, if you will understand [28.] my Fortunes what they are, I once had Cattell, House and Land, but now I am never the near; My Father left a good estate, as I may tell to thee, I couzned was of all I had, _like a great Boobee_.

I went to School with a good intent, and for to learn my Book, And all the day I went to play, in it I never did look: Full seven years, or very nigh, as I may tell to thee, I could hardly say my _Christ Cross Row,[F. 54] like a great Boobee_.

My Father then in all the haste, did set me to the Plow, And for to lash the Horse about, indeed I knew not how: My Father took his Whip in his hand, and soundly lashed me, He call'd me Fool and Country Clown, _and great Boobee_.

But I did from my Father run, for I will plow no more, Because he so had slashed me, and made my sides so sore: But I will go to _London_ Town some Vashions for to see, When I came there, they call'd me Clown _and great Boobee_.

But as I went along the street, I carried my Hat in my hand, And to every one that I did meet, I bravely bust[F. 55] my hand: Some did laugh, and some did scoff, and some did mock at me, And some did say I was a _Woodcock, and a great Boobee_.

Then did I walk in hast to _Paul's_ the Steeple for to view, Because I heard some people say, it must be builded new; Then I got up unto the top, the City for to see, It was so high, it made me Cry _like a great Boobee_.

From thence I went to Westminster and for to see the Tombs, Ah, said I, what a house is here, with an infinite sight of Rooms? Sweetly the Abby bells did ring, it was a fine sight to see, Methought I was going to Heaven in a string _like a great Boobee_.

But as I went along the Street the most part of the day, Many gallants did I meet methought they were very gay: I blew my Nose and foul'd my Hose, some people did me see, They said I was a Beastly Fool, _and a great Boobee_.

Next day I through _Pye Corner_ past the roast meat on the Stall Invited me to take a taste my Money was but small: The Meat I pickt, the Cook me kickt as I may tell to thee, He beat me sore, and made me rore, _like a great Boobee_.

As I through Smithfield lately walkt a gallant Lass I met Familiarly with me she talkt, which I cannot forget: She proferr'd me a pint of Wine, methought she was wondrous free, To the Tavern then I went with her, _like a great Boobee_.

She told me we were neer of kin, and call'd for Wine good store, Before the reckoning was brought in my Cousin proved a ----: My Purse she pickt, and went away, my Cousin couzned me, The Vintner kickt me out of door, _like a great Boobee_.

At the _Exchange_ when I came there, I saw most gallant things, I thought the Pictures living were of all our English Kings: I doft my Hat, and made a Leg, and kneeled on my knee, The people laught, and call'd me Fool, _and great Boobee_.

To _Paris Garden_[F. 56] then I went, where there is great resort, My pleasure was my punishment, I did not like the sport: The Garden Bull with his stout horns on high then tossed me, I did bewray myself with fear, _like a great Boobee_.

Then o're the Water did I pass, as you shall understand, I dropt into the Thames alas before I came to Land: The Water-man did help me out, and thus did say to me, Tis not thy fortune to be drown'd _like a great Boobee_.

But I have learned so much wit, shall shorten all my cares, If I can but a License get to play before the Bears: 'Twill be a gallant place indeed, as I may tell to thee Then who dare call me Fool or Ass _or great Boobee_.

Printed for _F. Coles_,[F. 57] in _Wine Street_, on _Saffron Hill_ near _Hatton Garden_.

[Footnote 53: For tune see Appendix.]

[Footnote 54: The alphabet, so called because in the old Horn books the letters, which were of course in a row, commenced with a Cross. In Morley's _Introduction to Practical Music_ (printed 1597) is the following: "Christes Crosse be my speed, in all vertue to proceede A. b. c. d. e. f. g. h. i. k. l. m. n. o. p. q. r. s. and t. double u. v. with y, ezod & per se, con per se, tittle, tittle est. Amen. When you have done begin again, begin again!"]

[Footnote 55: Kissed (bussed).]

[Footnote 56: A place at Bankside, Southwark, famous for bull and bear baiting.]

[Footnote 57: Francis Coles published between 1646 and 1674.]

[18.] A pleasant Fancy of an Italian by name _Trivelino_, Who falling asleep one Day, with his Horse's Bridle twisted in his Arm, another came who unbridled his Horse and got away. _Trivelino_ being awaked, and missing his Horse began to feel himself about, saying _Either I am_ Trivelino, _or not: If I am_ Trivelino _my Horse is lost; If not, I have got a Bridle, but know not how_.

A simple Fellow lookt [12.] On a dish that was cookt, Wherein was a Calves Head by name; One told him, 'twas so clear, If he lookt very near, He might see his face in the same.

_Ad_ Johannuelem Leporem, _Lepidissimum_;

_Carmen Heroicum_.

I sing the furious battails of the Sph[oe]res [24.] Acted in eight and twenty fathom deep, And from that (_a_) time, reckon so many yeares You'l find (_b_) _Endimion_ fell fast asleep.

_a._ There began the _Utopian_ accompt of years. _Mor: Lib 1. circa finem._

_b._ _Endimion_ was a handsome young Welshman, whom one _Luce Moone_ lov'd for his sweet breath; and would never hang off his lips; but he not caring for her, eat abundance of toasted cheese, purposely to make his breath unsavory; upon which she left him presently, and ever since 'tis proverbially spoken (as inconstant as Luce Moone). The _Vatican_ coppy of _Hesiod_ reades her name _Mohun_, but contractedly it is _Moone_. _Hesiod. lib 4. tom. 3._

And now assist me O ye (_c_) Musiques nine That tell the Orbs in order as they fight And thou dread (_d_) _Atlas_ with thine eyes so fine, Smile on me now that first begin to write.

_c._ For all the Orbes make Musick in their motion. _Berosus de Sphera, lib 3._

_d._ _Atlas_ was a Porter in _Mauritania_, and because by reason of his strength, he bore burthens of stupendious weight, the Poets fain'd that he carried the Heavens on his shoulders. _Cicero de nat Deorum. lib. 7._

(_e_) _Pompey_ that once was Tapster of _New June_, And fought with _Cæsar_ on th' (_f_) _Æmathian plaines_, First with his dreadful (_g_) _Myrmidons_ came in, And let them blood in the Hepatick veines.

_e._ There were two others of this name. Aldermen of _Rome_. _Tit. Liv. hist. lib. 28._

_f._ _Æmathia_ is a very faire Common in _Northampton shire_. _Strabo. lib 321._

_g._ These _Myrmidons_ were _Cornish-men_ and sent by _Bladud_, sometime king of this Realme, to ayd _Pompey_. _Cæsar de bello. civili. lib. 14._

But then an _Antelope_ in Sable blew, Clad like the (_h_) Prince of _Aurange_ in his cloke, Studded with Satyres, on his Army drew, And presently (_i_) _Pheander's_ Army broke.

_h._ It seemes not to be meant by _Count Henry_ but his brother _Maurice_, by comparing his picture to the thing here spoken of. _Jansen, de præd. lib 22._

_i._ _Pheander_ was so modest, that he was called the Maiden Knight; and yet so valiant, that a French Cavaleer wrote his life, and called his book _Pheander_ the _Maiden Knight_. _Hon. d'Urfee. Tom 45._

(_k_) Philip for hardiness sirnamed _Chub_, In Beauty equall to fork bearing (_l_) _Bacchus_, Made such a thrust at (_m_) _Ph[oe]be_ with his Club, That made the (_n_) _Parthians_ cry she will ---- us.

_k._ This seems not to be that king that was Son of _Amintas_, and king of _Macedon_; but one who it seems was very lascivious.

_l._ _Bacchus_ was a drunken yeoman of the Guard to Queen _Elizabeth_ and a great Archer; so that it seems the Authour mistooke his halbert for a forke.

_m._ This was _Long-Megg_[F. 58] of _Westminster_, who after this conflict with _Phillip_ followed him in all his warres. _Justinian. lib 35._

_n._ These were _Lancashire-men_ and sent by King _Gorbadug_ (for this war seemes to have been in the time of the _Heptarchy_ in _England_) to the aide of _Cæsar_. Cæsar. lib. citat. prope finem.

A subtle Gloworme lying in a hedge, And heard the story of sweet cheek't (_o_) _Apollo_, Snatch'd from bright (_p_) _Styropes_ his Antick sledge, And to the butter'd Flownders cry'd out (_q_) _Holla_.

_o._ _Apollo_ was _Cæsars_ Page, and a _Monomapatan_ by birth, whose name by inversion was _Ollopa_: which in the old language of that Country, signifies as much as faire youth: but _Euphoniæ Gratia_, called _Apollo_. _Gor. Bec. lib. 46._

_p._ _Styropes_ was a lame Smith's-man dwelling in _St. John's Street_; but how he was called Bright I know not, except it were by reason of the Luster of his eyes.

_q._ _Holla_, mistaken for _Apollo_.

_Holla_ you pamper'd Jades, quoth he, look here, And mounting straight upon a Lobsters thigh, An _English_ man inflam'd with (_r_) double Beere, Swore nev'r to (_s_) drink to Man, a Woman by.

_r._ Cervisia (apud Medicos, vinum hordeaceum) potus est Anglis longè charismus; Inventum Ferrarii _Londinensis_, Cui nomen _Smuggo_. _Polydor. Virgil. de Invent. rerum. lib. 2._

_s._ Impp. Germaniæ, antiquitus solebant, statis temporibus, adire _Basingstochium_; ubi, de more, Jusjurandum solenne præstabant, de non viro propinando, præsente muliere. Hic Mos, jamdudum apud _Anglos_, pene vim legis obtinuit; quippe gens illa, longe humanissima morem istum, in hodiernum usque diem, magna Curiositate, pari Comitate conjuncta, usurpant. _Pancirol. utriusque imperii. lib. 6._ cap 5.

By this time grew the conflict to be (_t_) hot, Boots against boots, 'gainst (_u_) Sandals, Sandals fly, Many poor thirsty men went to the pot, Feathers lopt off, spurrs every where did lie. _Cætera desiderantur._

_t._ It seems this was a great battail, both by the furie of it, and the aydes of each side; but hereof read more in _Cornel. Tacit. lib. de moribus German._

_u._ This is an imitation of _Lucan_. "Signis Signa & pila" &c. _Pharsalia. lib. 1._ in principio.

[Footnote 58: A virago who lived temp. Henry VIII.]

_Of Treason._

Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason? [16.] For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.

A miserable _Jack_ [12.] Gave a little glass of Sack. To a Lass that liv'd at the _Spittle_; 'Tis old wine, says he, That's a wonder, says she, To be old, and yet so little.

[18.] 'Tis said of one who well remembred what he had lent, but forgot what he had borrowed, that _he had lost one half of his Memory_.

_On the word intollerable._

Two gentlemen did to a Tavern come, [5.] And call'd the drawer for to shew a room, The drawer did, and what room think ye was't? One of the small ones, where men drink in haste; One gentleman sat down there, but the other Dislik'd it, would not sit, call'd for another: At which his friend, rising up from the table, Cryes, friend, let's stay, this room is tollerable: Why, that's the cause (quoth hee) I will not stay, Is that the cause, quoth th' other? why, I pray? To give a reason to you, I am able, Because I hate to be in--Tollerable.

[26.] A Gentleman coming drunk to Bed over night, in the morning could not find his breeches: then he knock'd for the Chamberlain: _Sir_, says he, _if you are sure you brought them in with you, you had best search your pockets for them, for you lost all your Money last Night out of your Pockets, it may be your Breeches are got in there_.

THE CUNNING NORTHERNE BEGGER

Who all the By-standers doth earnestly pray To bestow a penny upon him to day.

To the Tune of _Tom of Bedlam_.

I am a lusty begger, [29.] And live by others giving, I scorne to worke, But by the highway lurke, And beg to get my living: I'le i' th' wind and weather, And weare all ragged Garments, Yet though I am bare, I am free from care, A fig for high preferments. _For still will I cry good, your worship, good sir, Bestow one poor denier, sir; Which when I've got, At the Pipe and Pot, I soon will it cashiere, sir._

I have my shifts about me, Like _Proteus_ often changing, My shape when I will I alter still, About the country ranging: As soon as I a Coatch see, Or Gallants by come riding, I take my Crotch, And rouse from my Couch, Whereas I lay abiding. _And still doe cry, &c._

Now as a wandring Souldier, (That has i' th' warres bin maymed With the shot of a Gunne) To Gallants I runne, And begg, sir, helpe the lamed: I am a poore old Souldier And better times once viewed, Though bare now I goe, Yet many a foe, By me hath been subdued. _And therefore I cry &c._

Although I nere was further, Than Kentish-street in Southwarke, Nor ere did see A Battery Made against any bulwarke; But with my Tricks and Doxes, Lay in some corner lurking, And nere went abroad, But to beg on the road, To keep my selfe from working: _And alwaies to cry &c._

Anon I'm like a saylor And weare old Canvas cloathing, And then I say The Dunkerks away, Took all and left me nothing: Sixe ships set all upon us, 'Gainst which we bravely ventur'd And long withstood, Yet could doe no good, Our ship at length they enter'd _And therefore I cry &c._

Sometime I like a Criple Upon the ground lye crawling, For money I begge, As wanting a legge To beare my corps from falling: Then seeme I weake of body, And long t' have beene diseased, And make complaint As ready to faint, And of my griefs increased. _And faintly I cry &c._

My flesh I can so temper, That it shall seeme to feister And looke all ore, Like a raw sore, Whereon I stick a plaister: With blood I daub my face then, To faigne the falling sicknesse, That in every place They pitty my case, As if it came from weaknesse. _And then I doe cry &c._

Then as if my sight I wanted, A Boy doth walke beside me, Or else I doe Grope as I goe, Or have a dog to guide me: And when I'm thus accounted, To th' highway side I hye me, And there I stand With Cords in my hand, And beg of all comes nye me. _And earnestly cry &c._

Next to some country fellow I presently am turned, And cry alacke, With a Child at my back, My house and goods were burned: Then me my Doxes follow, Who for my Wifes believed, And along wee two Together goe, With such mischances grieved. _And still we doe cry &c._

What though I cannot labour, Shall I therefore pine with hunger, No, rather than I Will starve where I lye, I'le beg of the money monger: No other care shall trouble My minde, nor griefe disease me, Though sometimes the flash I get or the lash 'Twill but a while displease me. _And still will I cry &c._

No tricks at all shall scape me, But I will by my maunding Get some reliefe To ease my griefe, When by the highway standing: 'Tis better be a Begger And aske of kind good fellowes, And honestly have What we do crave, Than steale and goe to the Gallowes. _Therefore I'le cry &c._

FINIS.

Printed at London for _F. Coules_.[F. 59]

[Footnote 59: Same as Francis Coles (see "The Great Boobee").]

[26.] One coming into _New-Market_ to buy some Butter, and there cheapened some; and the woman askt. 10d a pound: then he smelt to it; _What_, says she, _do you smell to it, it seems you do not like my Butter: Yes_, says he, _but 'tis no better than it should be. Then you'll buy none_, says she: _No_, says he, _for a reason best known to myself_. Then she askt him the reason, and with much importunity he told her, 'twas because he had no Money: _Well then_, says the Woman, _take it for nothing, so you'll pay me for it next time you come_.