SCENE I: _The village inn. Von Beekman, alone. Enter Rip, laughing like

a child himself, and shaking off the children._

_Rip_ (_to the children outside_). Hey! You let my dog Schneider alone dere; you hear dat, Sock der Jacob, der bist eine fordonner spitspoo--yah----Why, hullo, Derrick! how you was? Did you hear dem liddle fellers just now? Dey most plague me crazy. Ha, ha, ha! I like to laugh my outsides in every time I tink about it. Just now, as we was comin' through the willage--Schneider und me--Schneider's my dog; I don't know whether you know him? Well, dem liddle fellers, dey took Schneider und--ha, ha, ha!--dey--ha, ha!--_dey tied a tin-kettle mit Schneider's tail!_ Ha, ha, ha! My, how he did run den, mit the kettle banging about! My, how scared he was! Well, I didn't hi him comin'. He run betwixt me und my legs und spilt me und all dem children in the mud,--yah, dat's a fact. Ha, ha, ha!

_Derrick._ Ah, yes, that's all right, Rip, very funny, very funny; but what do you say to a glass of liquor, Rip?

_Rip._ What do I generally say to a glass? I generally say it's a fine thing--when dere's plenty in it--und I say more to what is _in_ it than to the glass.

_Derrick._ Certainly, certainly. Say, hello there! Nick Vedder, bring out a bottle of your best.

_Rip._ Dat's right--fill 'em up. You wouldn't believe it, Derrick, dat's the first one I've had to-day. I guess, maybe, the reason is, I couldn't got it before. Ah, Derrick, my score is too big! Well, here is your good health und your family's, und may dey all live long und prosper! Ah, you may well go "Ah" und smack your chops over dat. You don't give me such schnapps when I come. Where you got dat?

_Nick._ That's high Dutch, Rip,--high Dutch, and ten years in bottle.

_Rip._ Well, come on, fill 'em up again. Git out mit dat vater, Nick Vedder; I don't want no vater in my liquor. Good liquor und vater, Derrick, is just like man und wife--_dey don't agree well togedder!_ Dat's me und _my_ wife, anyway. Well, come on again. Here is your good health und your family's, und may dey all live long und prosper!

_Nick._ That's right, Rip; drink away, and "drown your sorrows in the flowing bowl."

_Rip._ Drown my sorrows? Yah, but _she_ won't drown. My wife is my sorrow und you cannick drown her. She tried it once, but she couldn't do it. Didn't you know dat Gretchen like to get drown? No? Dat's the funniest thing of the whole of it. It's the same day I got married; she was comin' across dat Hudson River dere in the ferry-boat to get married mit me.

_Derrick._ Yes.

_Rip._ Well, the boat she was comin' in got upsetted.

_Derrick._ Ah!

_Rip._ Well, but she wasn't in it.

_Nick._ Oh!

_Rip._ No, dat's what I say; if she had been in the boat what got upsetted, maybe she might have got drowned. She got left behind somehow or odder. Women is always behind dat way--always.

_Derrick._ But surely, Rip, you would have risked your life to save her.

_Rip_ (_incredulously_). You mean I would yump in und pull Gretchen out? Oh, would I? Oh, you mean den--yes, I believe I would den. But it would be a good deal more my duty now as it was den. When a feller gets married a good many years mit his wife, he gets very much attached to her. But if Mrs. Van Winkle was a-drownin' in the water now, und should say to me, "Rip, come und save your wife!" I would say, "Mrs. Van Winkle, I will yust go home und tink about it!" Oh, no, Derrick, if ever Gretchen tumbles in the water now, she's got to swim; I told you dat--ha, ha, ha, ha! Hullo! dat's her a-comin' now; I guess it's better I go oud!

[_Exit Rip._