PART II--HUMOROUS HITS
THE TRAIN-MISSER _James Whitcomb Riley_ 23
THE ELOCUTIONIST'S CURFEW _W. D. Nesbit_ 24
MELPOMENUS JONES _Stephen Leacock_ 25
HER FIFTEEN MINUTES _Tom Masson_ 28
THE FOXES' TAILS _Anonymous_ 29
THE DEAD KITTEN " 33
THE WEATHER FIEND " 34
THE RACE QUESTION _Paul Laurence Dunbar_ 35
WHEN THE WOODBINE TURNS RED _Anonymous_ 38
CUPID'S CASUISTRY _W. J. Lampton_ 39
WHEN MAH LADY YAWNS _Charles T. Grilley_ 39
WATCHIN' THE SPARKIN' _Fred Emerson Brooks_ 40
THE WAY OF A WOMAN _Byron W. King_ 42
THE YACHT CLUB SPEECH _Anonymous_ 43
MAMMY'S LI'L' BOY _H. S. Edwards_ 44
CORYDON _Thomas Bailey Aldrich_ 47
GIB HIM ONE UB MINE _Daniel Webster Davis_ 49
A LESSON WITH THE FAN _Anonymous_ 50
THE UNDERTOW _Carrie Blake Morgan_ 51
MARKETING _Anonymous_ 52
A SPRING IDYL ON "GRASS" _Nixon Waterman_ 52
INTRODUCIN' THE SPEECHER _Edwin L. Barker_ 54
COUNTING ONE HUNDRED _James M. Bailey_ 57
THEY NEVER QUARRELED _Anonymous_ 58
SONG OF THE "L" _Grenville Kleiser_ 60
THE VILLAGE ORACLE _J. L. Harbour_ 62
IF I CAN BE BY HER _Benjamin Franklin King_ 65
MCCARTHY AND MCMANUS _Anonymous_ 66
AND SHE CRIED _Minna Irving_ 68
DOT LEEDLE BOY _James Whitcomb Riley_ 69
MR. DOOLEY ON THE GRIP _Finlay Peter Dunne_ 73
A RAINY DAY EPISODE _Anonymous_ 75
I KNEW HE WOULD COME IF I WAITED _H. G. Williamson_ 76
LOVE'S MOODS AND SENSES _Anonymous_ 77
A NOCTURNAL SKETCH _Thomas Hood_ 78
KATIE'S ANSWER _Anonymous_ 79
"'SPÄCIALLY JIM" " 80
AGNES, I LOVE THEE! " 81
THE GORILLA " 82
BANGING A SENSATIONAL NOVELIST " 83
HOPKINS' LAST MOMENTS " 84
THE FAIRIES' TEA " 85
COUNTING EGGS _Anonymous_ 86
THE OATMOBILE " 87
ALMOST BEYOND ENDURANCE _James Whitcomb Riley_ 89
PROOF POSITIVE _Anonymous_ 90
THE IRISH PHILOSOPHER " 91
BELAGCHOLLY " 93
A PANTOMIME SPEECH " 93
THE ORIGINAL LAMB " 95
WHEN PA WAS A BOY _S. E. Kiser_ 95
THE FRECKLED-FACED GIRL _Anonymous_ 96
WILLIE _Max Ehrmann_ 98
AMATEUR NIGHT _Anonymous_ 98
BOUNDING THE UNITED STATES _John Fiske_ 101
DER DOG UND DER LOBSTER _Anonymous_ 102
HE LAUGHED LAST " 103
NORAH MURPHY AND THE SPIRITS _Henry Hatton_ 104
OPIE READ _Wallace Bruce Amsbary_ 107
THE VILLAGE CHOIR _Anonymous_ 108
BILLY OF NEBRASKA _J. W. Bengough_ 110
DOT LAMBS VOT MARY HAF GOT _Anonymous_ 112
GEORGA WASHINGDONE " 113
DA 'MERICANA GIRL _T. A. Daly_ 114
BECKY MILLER _Anonymous_ 115
PAT AND THE MAYOR " 116
THE WIND AND THE MOON _George MacDonald_ 118
TOTAL ANNIHILATION _Anonymous_ 120
UPS AND DOWNS OF MARRIED LIFE " 121
THE CROOKED MOUTH FAMILY " 122
"IMPH-M" " 124
THE USUAL WAY " 125
NOTHING SUITED HIM " 126
A LITTE FELLER " 126
ROBIN TAMSON'S SMIDDY _Alexander Rodger_ 127
A BIG MISTAKE _Anonymous_ 129
LORD DUNDREARY'S LETTER " 131
SLANG PHRASES " 133
THE MERCHANT AND THE BOOK AGENT " 134
THE COON'S LULLABY " 136
PARODY ON BARBARA FRIETCHIE " 137
BEFORE AND AFTER _Charles T. Grilley_ 139
WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK _Anonymous_ 140
MR. POTTS' STORY _Max Adeler_ 141
AT FIVE O'CLOCK TEA _Morris Wade_ 143
KEEP A-GOIN'! _Frank L. Stanton_ 145
A LOVER'S QUARREL _Cynthia Coles_ 146
CASEY AT THE BAT _Phineas Thayer_ 147
FAMILIAR LINES _Anonymous_ 149
A FRIENDLY GAME OF CHECKERS " 150
MODERN ROMANCE _Henry M. Blossom, Jr._ 152
LULLABY _Paul Laurence Dunbar_ 153
THE REASON WHY _Mary E. Bradley_ 154
HOW A BACHELOR SEWS ON A BUTTON _Anonymous_ 154
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS " 155
THE FLY " 156
THE YARN OF THE "NANCY BELL" _W. S. Gilbert_ 157
I TOL' YER SO _John L. Heaton_ 160
"YOU GIT UP!" _Joe Kerr_ 161
PRESENTATION OF THE TRUMPET _Anonymous_ 162
DON'T USE BIG WORDS " 163
DER MULE SHTOOD ON DER STEAMBOAD DECK " 164
THE NEW SCHOOL READER " 165
THE POOR WAS MAD _Charles Battell Loomis_ 167
LIDES TO BARY JADE _Anonymous_ 168
"CHARLIE MUST NOT RING TO-NIGHT" _Anonymous_ 169
A SHORT ENCORE " 170
MY DOUBLE, AND HOW HE UNDID ME _Edward Everett Hale_ 171
ROMANCE OF A HAMMOCK _Anonymous_ 173
FINNIGIN TO FLANNIGAN _S. W. Gillinan_ 175
AN INTRODUCTION _Mark Twain_ 177
THE HARP OF A THOUSAND STRINGS _Joshua S. Morris_ 177
THE DIFFICULTY OF RIMING _Anonymous_ 179
SO WAS I _Joseph Bert Smiley_ 181
THE ENCHANTED SHIRT _John Hay_ 183
DEB OAK UND DER VINE _Charles Follen Adams_ 185
THE SHIP OF FAITH _Anonymous_ 187
HE WANTED TO KNOW " 188
AN OPPORTUNITY " 190
GAPE-SEED " 190
LARIAT BILL " 192
THE CANDIDATE _Bill Nye_ 193
ONE AFTERNOON _Anonymous_ 196
NOT IN IT " 198
A TWILIGHT IDYL _Robert J. Burdette_ 199
LAVERY'S HENS _Anonymous_ 201
LISP " 202
THEY MET BY CHANCE " 203
THE BRIDEGROOM'S TOAST " 203
REHEARSING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS _Stanley Huntley_ 204
THE V-A-S-E _James Jeffrey Roche_ 206
PAPA AND THE BOY _J. L. Harbour_ 208
THE OBSTRUCTIVE HAT IN THE PIT _F. Anstey_ 210
HULLO _S. W. Foss_ 213
THE DUTCHMAN'S TELEPHONE _Anonymous_ 214
DOCTOR MARIGOLD _Charles Dickens_ 216
THE RULING PASSION _William H. Siviter_ 219
THE DUTCHMAN'S SERENADE _Anonymous_ 220
WIDOW MALONE _Charles Lever_ 222
HIS LEG SHOT OFF _Anonymous_ 224
THE STUTTERING UMPIRE _The Khan_ 225
THE MAN WHO WILL MAKE A SPEECH _Anonymous_ 227
CARLOTTA MIA _T. A. Daly_ 228
THE VASSAR GIRL _Wallace Irwin_ 229
A SHORT SERMON _Anonymous_ 231
A LANCASHIRE DIALECTIC SKETCH " 232
HIS BLACKSTONIAN CIRCUMLOCUTION " 233
KATRINA LIKES ME POODY VELL " 234
AT THE RESTAURANT " 235
A-FEARED OF A GAL " 237
LEAVING OUT THE JOKE " 238
THE CYCLOPEEDY _Eugene Field_ 239
ECHO _John G. Saxe_ 244
OUR RAILROADS _Anonymous_ 245
WAKIN' THE YOUNG 'UNS _John C. Boss_ 247
PAT'S REASON _Anonymous_ 249
QUIT YOUR FOOLIN' " 250
SHE WOULD BE A MASON _James L. Laughton_ 251
HENRY THE FIFTH'S WOOING _Shakespeare_ 254
SCENE FROM "THE RIVALS" _Richard Brinsley Sheridan_ 258
SCENES FROM "RIP VAN WINKLE" _As Recited by Burbank_ 261