did. But, Rosa, you would either have to begin in the smallest possible
way, or else study for years; and how could you pay for getting yourself taught? You might ask Mr A--," mentioning an eminent actor of well-known kindness and respectability; "he sometimes comes here. But when there's the other thing all ready for you!"
"Oh, Trixy, I know," said Rosa. "But of course," she added, "I can't be expected to feel that it would be unsuitable. If I had a voice--oh! if I had--what it would have saved Violante and me!"
"You gave up the idea once before," said Beatrice.
"Yes," said Rosa, rather faintly.
"There was something then you would have liked better still, eh! Rose?"
"Yes," said Rosa, with a sudden heart-throb.
"I'm afraid he wasn't good for much, Rosy," said her cousin, patting her hair.
"You never hear of him now?" said Rosa.
"Never. Everyone doesn't get Lucy's luck, you know, and when things go wrong one must put up with second-best."
"I am to have neither first or second," said Rosa.
"Well, there's a good deal of third in the world, and one gets on with it."
"The long and the short of it is," said Rosa, as she stood up to go, "that that's my wish, but I can't turn the world upside down to get it, and I can live without it, as I've done before. Why, I almost forgot it till things went wrong with Violante. Anyhow, I must take care of her."
Beatrice Grey, spite of her easy life, had not found the world accommodate itself so exactly to her wishes as to be surprised at the necessity for submission, but she was struck by Rosa's last words, and said: "You're the best girl I know, Rosa."
"I mustn't go to many plays if you are to hold that opinion long," replied Rosa, as she went away.
"Did you enjoy yourself, Rosina mia?" said Violante, sleepily.
"Yes, my darling," said Rosa, "so much so that next time you must come and look after me."
Violante gave a little sleepy laugh at this absurd notion, as her sister, wakeful with excitement, lay down by her side.
Rosa was not exactly conscious of making a sacrifice: she rather felt herself yielding to a powerful necessity. Of course, the family well-being and Violante's happiness must come first, whatever happened. She must act prudently. Life had taught her prudence; only her hot nature rebelled sometimes. Her age and experience taught her that she could live without being an actress. She lay thinking of her life and her sister's--not cynically, but without any youthful illusions. Her first ambition seemed impracticable--her first love was a thing of the past.