CHAPTER V

PERSONAL LETTERS--SOCIAL AND FRIENDLY

INVITATIONS AND ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

_General Directions_

The format of an invitation is not so important as its taste. Some of the more formal sorts of invitations--as to weddings--have become rather fixed, and the set wordings are carried through regardless of the means at hand for proper presentation. For instance, one often sees a wedding invitation in impeccable form but badly printed on cheap paper. It would be far better, if it is impossible to get good engraving or if first-class work proves to be too expensive, to buy good white notepaper and write the invitations. A typewriter is, of course, out of the question either for sending or answering any sort of social invitation. Probably some time in the future the typewriter will be used, but at present it is associated with business correspondence and is supposed to lack the implied leisure of hand writing.

The forms of many invitations, as I have said, are fairly fixed. But they are not hallowed. One may vary them within the limits of good taste, but on the whole it is considerably easier to accept the forms in use and not try to be different. If the function itself is going to be very different from usual then the invitation itself may be as freakish as one likes--it may be written or printed on anything from a postcard to a paper bag. The sole question is one of appropriateness. But there is a distinct danger in trying to be ever so unconventional and all that. One is more apt than not to make a fool of one's self. And then, too, being always clever is dreadfully hard on the innocent by-standers. Here are things to be avoided:

Do not have an invitation printed or badly engraved. Hand writing is better than bad mechanical work.

Do not use colored or fancy papers.

Do not use single sheets.

Do not use a very large or a very small sheet--either is inappropriate.

Do not have a formal phraseology for an informal affair.

Do not abbreviate anything--initials may be used in informal invitations and acceptances, but, in the formal, "H. E. Jones" invariably has to become "Horatio Etherington Jones."

Do not send an answer to a formal invitation in the first person.

A formal invitation is written in the third person and must be so answered.

Do not use visiting cards either for acceptances or regrets even though they are sometimes used for invitations. The practice of sending a card with "Accepts" or "Regrets" written on it is discourteous.

Do not seek to be decorative in handwriting--the flourishing Spencerian is impossible.

Do not overdo either the formality or the informality.

Do not use "R.S.V.P." (the initials of the French words "Repondez, s'il vous plait," meaning "Answer, if you please") unless the information is really necessary for the making of arrangements. It ought to be presumed that those whom you take the trouble to invite will have the sense and the courtesy to answer.

In sending an evening invitation where there are husband and wife, both must be included, unless, of course, the occasion is "stag." If the invitation is to be extended to a daughter, then her name is included in the invitation. In the case of more than one daughter, they will receive a separate invitation addressed to "The Misses Smith." Each male member of the family other than husband should receive a separately mailed invitation.

An invitation, even the most informal, should always be acknowledged within a week of its receipt. It is the height of discourtesy to leave the hostess in doubt either through a tardy answer or through the undecided character of your reply. The acknowledgment must state definitely whether or not you accept.

The acknowledgment of an invitation sent to husband and wife must include both names but is answered by the wife only. The name of a daughter also must appear if it appears in the invitation. If Mr. and Mrs. Smith receive an invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Jones, their acknowledgment must include the names of both Mr. and Mrs. Jones, but the envelope should be addressed to Mrs. Jones only.

FORMAL INVITATIONS

Wedding invitations should be sent about three weeks--certainly not later than fifteen days--before the wedding. Two envelopes should be used, the name and address appearing on the outside envelope, but only the name on the inside one. The following are correct for formal invitations:

_For a church wedding_

(A)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Honour of_ ---- (Name written in) _Presence at the Marriage of Their Daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster On the Evening of Monday, the Eighth of June at Six o'Clock At The Church of the Heavenly Rest Fifth Avenue, New York City_

(B)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Honour of Your Presence at The Marriage of Their Daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster On Monday, June the Eighth At Six o'Clock At the Church of the Heavenly Rest Fifth Avenue, New York_

_For a home wedding_

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of_ ---- (Name written in) _Company at the Marriage of Their Daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster On Wednesday, June the Tenth At Twelve o'Clock Five Hundred Park Avenue_

Or either of the forms A and B for a church wedding may be used. "Honour of your presence" is more formal than "pleasure of your company" and hence is more appropriate for a church wedding.

It is presumed that an invitation to a home wedding includes the wedding breakfast or reception, but an invitation to a church wedding does not. A card inviting to the wedding breakfast or reception is enclosed with the wedding invitation. Good forms are:

_For a wedding breakfast_

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of_ ---- (Name written in) _At Breakfast on Tuesday, June the Fourth at Twelve o'Clock 500 Park Avenue_

_For a wedding reception_

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of Your Company At the Wedding Reception of Their Daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster On Monday Afternoon, June the Third At Four o'Clock Five Hundred Park Avenue_

_For a second marriage_

The forms followed in a second marriage--either of a widow or a divorcee--are quite the same as above. The divorcee uses whatever name she has taken after the divorce--the name of her ex-husband or her maiden name if she has resumed it. The widow sometimes uses simply Mrs. Philip Brewster or a combination, as Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster. The invitations are issued in the name of the nearest relative--the parent or parents, of course, if living. The forms are:

(A)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Honour of Your Presence At the Marriage of Their Daughter Dorothy (Mrs. Philip Brewster) to Mr. Leonard Duncan On Thursday, April the Third At Six o'Clock Trinity Chapel_

(B)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Honour of Your Presence At the Marriage of Their Daughter Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster to Mr. Leonard Duncan On Thursday, April the Third At Six o'Clock Trinity Chapel_

If there are no near relatives, the form may be:

(C)

_The Honour of Your Presence is Requested At the Marriage of Mrs. Dorothy Evans Brewster and Mr. Leonard Duncan On Thursday, April the Third At Six o'Clock Trinity Chapel_

In formal invitations "honour" is spelled with a "u."

_Recalling an Invitation_

The wedding may have to be postponed or solemnized privately, owing to illness or death, or it may be put off altogether. In such an event the invitations will have to be recalled. The card recalling may or may not give a reason, according to circumstances. The cards should be engraved if time permits, but they may have to be written.

Convenient forms are:

(A)

_Owing to the Death of Mr. Philip Brewster's Mother, Mr. and Mrs. Evans beg to Recall the Invitations for Their Daughter's Wedding on Monday, June the Eighth._

(B)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans beg to Recall The Invitations for the Marriage of Their Daughter, Dorothy, and Mr. Philip Brewster, on Monday, June the Eighth_

_Wedding announcements_

If a wedding is private, no formal invitations are sent out; they are unnecessary, for only a few relatives or intimate friends will be present and they will be asked by word of mouth or by a friendly note. The wedding may be formally announced by cards mailed on the day of the wedding. The announcement will be made by whoever would have sent out wedding invitations--by parents, a near relative, or by the bride and groom, according to circumstances. The custom with the bride's name in the case of a widow or divorcee follows that of wedding invitations. An engraved announcement is not acknowledged (although a letter of congratulations--see page 101--may often be sent). A card is sent to the bride's parents or whoever has sent the announcements. The announcement may be in the following form:

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Announce the Marriage of Their Daughter Dorothy to Mr. Philip Brewster On Monday, June the Tenth One Thousand Nineteen Hundred and Twenty-Two_

_Replying to the invitation_

The acceptance or the declination of a formal invitation is necessarily formal but naturally has to be written by hand. It is better to use double notepaper than a correspondence card and it is not necessary to give a reason for being unable to be present--although one may be given. It is impolite to accept or regret only a day or two before the function--the letter should be written as soon as possible after the receipt of the invitation. The letter may be indented as is the engraved invitation, but this is not at all necessary. The forms are:

_Accepting_

Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Evans's kind invitation to be present at the marriage of their daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster on Monday, June the twelfth at twelve o'clock (and afterward at the wedding breakfast)

Or it may be written out:

Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Evans's kind invitation to be present at the marriage of their daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster on Monday, June the twelfth at twelve o'clock (and afterward at the wedding breakfast).

_Regretting_

Mr. and Mrs. Frothingham Smith regret exceedingly that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Evans's kind invitation to be present at the marriage of their daughter Dorothy and Mr. Philip Brewster on Monday, June the twelfth (and afterward at the wedding breakfast)

Or this also may be written out. The portion in parentheses will be omitted if one has not been asked to the wedding breakfast or reception.

_For the formal dinner_

Formal dinner invitations are usually engraved, as in the following example. In case they are written, they may follow the same form or the letter form. If addressed paper is used the address is omitted from the end. The acknowledgment should follow the wording of the invitation.

(A)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of_ Mr. and Mrs. Trent's _Company at Dinner On Thursday, October the First at Seven o'Clock and Afterward for the Play (or Opera, etc.)_ _500 Park Avenue_

(B)

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Trent's Company for Dinner and Opera on Thursday, October the First at Seven o'Clock_

_Accepting_

Mr. and Mrs. George Trent accept with much pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Evans's kind invitation for dinner on Thursday, October the first, at seven o'clock and afterward for the opera 788 East Forty-Sixth Street

_Regretting_

Mr. and Mrs. George Trent regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Evans for dinner and opera on Thursday, October the first, owing to a previous engagement. 788 East Forty-Sixth Street

_For a dinner not at home_

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of Mrs. and Miss Pearson's Company at Dinner At Sherry's on Friday, March the Thirtieth At Quarter Past Seven o'Clock_ _500 Park Avenue_

_Accepting_

Mrs. Richard Pearson and Miss Pearson accept with much pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Evans's very kind invitation for dinner at Sherry's on Friday, March the thirtieth at quarter past seven o'clock 640 West Seventy-Second Street

_Regretting_

Mrs. Richard Pearson and Miss Pearson regret exceedingly that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Evans's very kind invitation for dinner at Sherry's on Friday, March the thirtieth owing to a previous engagement to dine with Mr. and Mrs. Spencer 640 West Seventy-Second Street

Or the reply may follow the letter form:

_Accepting_

640 West Seventy-Second Street, March 16, 1920.

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson accept with pleasure Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.

_Regretting_

640 West Seventy-Second Street March 16, 1920.

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pearson regret sincerely their inability to accept Mrs. John Evans's kind invitation for Friday evening, March the thirtieth.

These acknowledgments, being formal, are written in the third person and must be sent within twenty-four hours.

_Dinner "to meet"_

If the dinner or luncheon is given to meet a person of importance or a friend from out of town, the purpose should appear in the body of the invitation, thus:

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Trent's Company at Dinner on Thursday, November the Ninth at Eight o'Clock to Meet Mr. William H. Allen_

_To a formal luncheon_

_Mrs. John Evans Requests the Pleasure of Miss Blake's Company at Luncheon To meet Miss Grace Flint on Tuesday, March the Fourth at One o'Clock and Afterward to the Matinee_ _500 Park Avenue_

_Accepting_

Miss Blake accepts with pleasure Mrs. Evans's very kind invitation for luncheon on Tuesday, March the fourth at one o'clock to meet Miss Flint and to go afterward to the matinee 232 West Thirty-First Street

_Regretting_

Miss Blake regrets that a previous engagement prevents her from accepting Mrs. Evans's very kind invitation for luncheon on Tuesday, March the fourth at one o'clock to meet Miss Flint and to go afterward to the matinee 832 West Thirty-First Street

_For the reception_

Afternoon receptions and "At Homes" for which engraved invitations are sent out are practically the same as formal "teas."

An invitation is engraved as follows:

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans At Home Wednesday Afternoon, September Fourth from Four until Half-Past Seven o'Clock Five Hundred Park Avenue_

These cards are sent out by mail in a single envelope about two weeks or ten days before the event.

The recipient of such a card is not required to send either a written acceptance or regret. One accepts by attending the "At Home." If one does not accept, the visiting card should be sent by mail so that it will reach the hostess on the day of the reception.

Where an answer is explicitly required, then the reply may be as follows:

_Accepting_

Mrs. John Evans accepts with pleasure Mrs. Emerson's kind invitation for Wednesday afternoon November the twenty-eighth

_Regretting_

Mrs. John Evans regrets that she is unable to accept Mrs. Emerson's kind invitation for Wednesday afternoon November the twenty-eighth

Mrs. John Evans regrets that she is unable to be present at Mrs. Emerson's At home on Wednesday afternoon November the twenty-eighth

_Reception "to meet"_

(A)

_Mrs. Bruce Wellington Requests the Pleasure of Mrs. Evans's Presence on Thursday Afternoon, April Fifth to Meet the Board of Governors of the Door-of-Hope Society from Four-Thirty to Seven o'Clock_

_Accepting_

Mrs. John Evans accepts with pleasure Mrs. Wellington's kind invitation to meet The Board of Governors of the Door-of-Hope Society On Thursday afternoon, April fifth

_Regretting:_

Mrs. John Evans regrets that a previous engagement prevents her from accepting Mrs. Wellington's kind invitation to meet The Board of Governors of the Door-of-Hope Society On Thursday afternoon, April fifth

_Mr. and Mrs. John Evans Request the Pleasure of Your Company to Meet General and Mrs. Robert E. Lee on Thursday Afternoon, February Fourth from Four until Seven o'Clock_ _Five Hundred Park Avenue_

If one accepts this invitation, one acknowledges simply by attending. If one is unable to attend, then the visiting card is mailed. If unforeseen circumstances should prevent attending, then a messenger is sent with a card in an envelope to the hostess, to reach her during the reception.

_Invitations for afternoon affairs_

For afternoon affairs--at homes, teas, garden parties--the invitations are sent out in the name of the hostess alone, or if there be a daughter, or daughters, in society, their names will appear immediately below the name of the hostess.

_Mrs. John Evans The Misses Evans At Home Thursday Afternoon, January Eleventh from Four until Seven o'Clock Five Hundred Park Avenue_

If the purpose of the reception is to introduce a daughter, her name would appear immediately below that of the hostess, as "Miss Evans," without Christian name or initial. If a second daughter is to be introduced at the tea, her name in full is added beneath that of the hostess:

_Mrs. John Evans Miss Ruth Evans Miss Evans At Home Friday Afternoon, January Twentieth from Four until Seven o'Clock Five Hundred Park Avenue_

_For balls and dances_

The word "ball" is used for an assembly or a charity dance, never otherwise. An invitation to a private house bears "Dancing" or "Cotillion" in one corner of the card. This ball or formal dance invitation is engraved on a white card, sometimes with a blank space so that the guest's name may be written in by the hostess. It would read thus:

(A)

_Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott Request the Pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Evans's Company at a Cotillion to Be Held at the Hotel Ritz-Carlton on Saturday, December the Third at Ten o'Clock_ _Please Address Reply to 347 Madison Avenue_

(B)

_Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott Request the Pleasure of

_________________________ Company on Saturday Evening January the Sixth, at Ten o'Clock_ _Dancing 347 Madison Avenue_

An older style of invitation--without the blank for the written name, but instead the word "your" engraved upon the card--is in perfectly good form. The invitation would be like this:

(C)

_Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott Request the Pleasure of Your Company on Saturday Evening, January the Sixth at Ten o'Clock_ _Dancing 347 Madison Avenue_

_Accepting_

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Elliott's very kind invitation to a cotillion to be held at the Hotel Ritz-Carlton On Saturday, December the third at ten o'clock

_Regretting_

Mr. and Mrs. John Evans regret exceedingly that they are unable to accept Mr. and Mrs. Elliott's kind invitation to attend a dance on Saturday, January the sixth

In sending a regret the hour is omitted, as, since the recipient will not be present, the time is unimportant.

(D)

_The Honour of Your Presence Is Requested at the Lincoln's Birthday Eve Ball of the Dark Hollow Country Club on Monday Evening, February Eleventh at Half-Past Ten o'Clock 1922_

_Accepting_

Miss Evans accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of the Dark Hollow Country Club for Monday evening, February eleventh at half-past ten o'clock

_For christenings_

Christenings are sometimes made formal. In such case engraved cards are sent out two or three weeks ahead. A good form is:

_Mr. and Mrs. Philip Brewster Request the Pleasure of Your Company at the Christening of Their Son on Sunday Afternoon, April Seventeenth At Three o'clock at the Church of the Redeemer_

_Accepting_

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliot accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Brewster's kind invitation to attend the christening of their son on Sunday afternoon, April seventeenth at three o'clock

A reason for not accepting may or may not be given--it is better to put in a reason if you have one.

_Regretting_

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elliott regret that a previous engagement prevents their accepting Mr. and Mrs. Brewster's kind invitation to the christening of their son on Sunday afternoon, April seventeenth

INFORMAL INVITATIONS

_For a wedding_

An engraved invitation always implies a somewhat large or elaborate formal function. An informal affair requires simply a written invitation in the first person.

The informal wedding is one to which are invited only the immediate family and intimate friends. The reason may be simply the desire for a small, quiet affair or it may be a recent bereavement. The bride-to-be generally writes these invitations. The form may be something like this:

(A)

June 2, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Smith,

On Wednesday, June the twelfth, at three o'clock Mr. Brewster and I are to be married. The ceremony will be at home and we are asking only a few close friends. I hope that you and Mr. Smith will be able to come.

Yours very sincerely, Dorothy Evans.

(B)

June 16, 1922.

Dear Mary,

Owing to the recent death of my sister, Mr. Brewster and I are to be married quietly at home. The wedding will be on Wednesday, June the twentieth, at eleven o'clock. We are asking only a few intimate friends and I shall be so glad if you will come.

Sincerely yours, Dorothy Evans.

_Accepting_

June 7, 1922.

Dear Dorothy,

We shall be delighted to attend your wedding on Wednesday, June the twelfth, at three o'clock.

We wish you and Mr. Brewster every happiness.

Sincerely yours, Helen Gray Smith.

_Regretting_

June 4, 1922.

Dear Dorothy,

I am so sorry that I shall be unable to attend your wedding. The "Adriatic" is sailing on the tenth and Father and I have engaged passage.

Let me wish you and Mr. Brewster every happiness.

Sincerely yours, Mary Lyman.

_For dinners and luncheons_

An informal invitation to dinner is sent by the wife, for her husband and herself, to the wife. This invitation must include the latter's husband. It is simply a friendly note. The wife signs her Christian name, her maiden name (or more usually the initial of her maiden name), and her married name.

Five Hundred Park Avenue, December 5th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Trent,

Will you and Mr. Trent give us the pleasure of your company at a small dinner on Tuesday, December the twelfth, at seven o'clock?

I hope you will not be otherwise engaged on that evening as we are looking forward to seeing you.

Very sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans.

_To cancel an informal dinner invitation_

My dear Mrs. Trent,

On account of the sudden death of my brother, I regret to be obliged to recall the invitation for our dinner on Tuesday, December the twelfth.

Sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans. December 8, 1922.

_Accepting_

788 East Forty-Sixth Street, December 7th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Mr. Trent and I will be very glad to dine with you on Tuesday, December the twelfth, at seven o'clock.

With kind regards, I am

Very sincerely yours, Charlotte B. Trent

_Regretting_

788 East Forty-Sixth Street, December 7th, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

We regret deeply that we cannot accept your kind invitation to dine with you on Tuesday, December the twelfth. Mr. Trent and I, unfortunately, have a previous engagement for that evening.

With cordial regards, I am

Yours very sincerely, Charlotte B. Trent.

_The daughter as hostess_

When a daughter must act as hostess in her father's home, she includes his name in every dinner invitation she issues, as in the following:

340 Madison Avenue, January 2, 1921.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Father wishes me to ask whether you and Mr. Evans will give us the pleasure of dining with us on Wednesday, January the fifteenth, at quarter past seven o'clock. We do hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours, Edith Haines.

The answer to this invitation of a daughter-hostess must be sent to the daughter, not to the father.

_Accepting_

My dear Miss Haines,

We shall be delighted to accept your father's kind invitation to dine with you on Wednesday, January the fifteenth, at quarter past seven o'clock.

With most cordial wishes, I am

Very sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans. January 5, 1922

_Regretting_

My dear Miss Haines,

We regret exceedingly that we cannot accept your father's kind invitation to dine with you on Wednesday, January the fifteenth. A previous engagement of Mr. Evans prevents it. Will you convey to him our thanks?

Very sincerely yours, Katherine Gerard Evans. January 5, 1922.

_Adding additional details_

The invitation to an informal dinner may necessarily include some additional details. For example:

Five Hundred Park Avenue, September 16, 1920.

My dear Mr. Allen,

Mr. Evans and I have just returned from Canada and we hear that you are in New York for a short visit. We should like to have you take dinner with us on Friday, the twentieth, at half-past seven o'clock, if your time will permit. We hope you can arrange to come as there are many things back home in old Sharon that we are anxious to hear about.

Yours very sincerely, Katherine Gerard Evans.

Mr. Roger Allen Hotel Gotham New York

_Accepting_

Hotel Gotham, September 17, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I shall be very glad to accept your kind invitation to dinner on Friday, September the twentieth, at half-past seven o'clock.

The prospect of seeing you and Mr. Evans again is very delightful and I am sure I have several interesting things to tell you.

Yours very sincerely, Roger Allen.

Mrs. John Evans 500 Park Avenue New York

_Regretting_

Hotel Gotham, September 16, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I am sorry to miss the pleasure of accepting your kind invitation to dinner on Friday, September the twentieth.

A business engagement compels me to leave New York to-morrow. There are indeed many interesting bits of news, but I shall have to wait for a chat until my next visit.

With kindest regards to you both, I am

Very sincerely yours, Roger Allen.

Mrs. John Evans 500 Park Avenue New York

_A last-moment vacancy:_

A last-moment vacancy may occur in a dinner party. To send an invitation to fill such a vacancy is a matter requiring tact, and the recipient should be made to feel that you are asking him to fill in as a special courtesy. Frankly explain the situation in a short note. It might be something like this:

500 Park Avenue, February 16, 1922.

My dear Mr. Jarrett,

Will you help me out? I am giving a little dinner party to-morrow evening and one of my guests, Harry Talbot, has just told me that on account of a sudden death he cannot be present. It is an awkward situation. If you can possibly come, I shall be very grateful.

Cordially yours, Katherine G. Evans.

Mr. Harold Jarrett 628 Washington Square South New York

_Accepting_

628 Washington Square South, February 16, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

It is indeed a fortunate circumstance for me that Harry Talbot will not be able to attend your dinner. Let me thank you for thinking of me and I shall be delighted to accept.

Yours very sincerely, Harold Jarrett.

If the recipient of such an invitation cannot accept, he should, in his acknowledgment, give a good reason for declining. It is more considerate to do so.

_For an informal luncheon_

An informal luncheon invitation is a short note sent about five to seven days before the affair.

500 Park Avenue, April 30,1922.

My dear Mrs. Emerson,

Will you come to luncheon on Friday, May the fifth, at half-past one o'clock? The Misses Irving will be here and they want so much to meet you.

Cordially yours, Katherine G. Evans.

_Accepting_

911 Sutton Place, May 2, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

I shall be very glad to take luncheon with you on Friday, May the fifth, at half-past one o'clock. It will be a great pleasure to meet the Misses Irving.

With best wishes, I am Yours sincerely, Grace Emerson.

_Regretting_

911 Sutton Place, May 2, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Thank you for your very kind invitation to luncheon on Friday, May the fifth, but I am compelled, with great regret, to decline it.

My mother and aunt are sailing for Europe on Friday and their ship is scheduled to sail at one. I have arranged to see them off. It was good of you to ask me.

Very sincerely yours, Grace Emerson.

_For an informal tea_

My dear Miss Harcourt,

Will you come to tea with me on Tuesday afternoon, April the fourth, at four o'clock? I have asked a few of our friends.

Cordially yours, Katherine Gerard Evans. April first

Telephone invitations are not good form and may be used only for the most informal occasions.

Invitations to the theatre, concert, and garden party, are mostly informal affairs and are sent as brief letters.

A garden party is a sort of out-of-doors at home.

_To a garden party which is not formal or elaborate_

Locust Lawn, June 29, 1922.

My dear Miss Burton,

Will you come to tea with me informally on the lawn on Thursday afternoon, July the fourth, at four o'clock? I know you always enjoy tennis and I have asked a few enthusiasts. Do try to come.

Cordially yours, Ruth L. Anson.

Such an invitation is acknowledged in kind--by an informal note.

It may be of interest to read a letter or two from distinguished persons along these lines. Here, for example, is the delightfully informal way in which Thomas Bailey Aldrich invited his friend William H. Rideing to dinner on one occasion:[1]

April 6, 1882.

Dear Rideing:

Will you come and take an informal bite with me to-morrow (Friday) at 6 P. M. at my hamlet, No. 131 Charles Street? Mrs. Aldrich and the twins are away from home, and the thing is to be _sans ceremonie_. Costume prescribed: Sack coat, paper collar, and celluloid sleeve buttons. We shall be quite alone, unless Henry James should drop in, as he promises to do if he gets out of an earlier engagement.

Suppose you drop in at my office to-morrow afternoon about 5 o'clock and I act as pilot to Charles Street.

Yours very truly, T. B. Aldrich.

[1] From "Many Celebrities and a Few Others--A Bundle of Reminiscences," by William H. Rideing. Copyright, 1912, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

And one from James Russell Lowell to Henry W. Longfellow:[2]

Elmwood, May 3, 1876.

Dear Longfellow:

Will you dine with me on Saturday at six? I have a Baltimore friend coming, and depend on you.

I had such a pleasure yesterday that I should like to share it with you to whom I owed it. J. R. Osgood & Co. sent me a copy of your Household Edition to show me what it was, as they propose one of me. I had been reading over with dismay my own poems to weed out the misprints, and was awfully disheartened to find how bad they (the poems) were. Then I took your book to see what the type was, and before I knew it I had been reading two hours and more. I never wondered at your popularity, nor thought it wicked in you; but if I _had_ wondered, I should no longer, for you sang me out of all my worries. To be sure they came back when I opened my own book again--but that was no fault of yours.

If not Saturday, will you say Sunday? My friend is a Mrs. ----, and a very nice person indeed.

Yours always, J. R. L.

[2] From "Letters of James Russell Lowell," edited by C. E. Norton. Copyright, 1893, by Harper & Bros.

George Meredith ("Robin") accepting an informal dinner invitation from his friend, William Hardman ("Tuck"):[3]

Jan'y 28, 1863.

Dear "at any price" Tuck:

I come. Dinner you give me at half-past five, I presume. A note to Foakesden, if earlier. Let us have 5 ms. for a pipe, before we go. You know we are always better tempered when this is the case. I come in full dress. And do the honour to the Duke's motto. I saw my little man off on Monday, after expedition over Bank and Tower. Thence to Pym's, Poultry: oysters consumed by dozings. Thence to Purcell's: great devastation of pastry. Thence to Shoreditch, where Sons calmly said: "Never mind, Papa; it is no use minding it. I shall soon be back to you," and so administered comfort to his forlorn Dad.--My salute to the Conquered One, and I am your loving, hard-druv, much be-bullied

Robin.

[3] From "The Letters of George Meredith." Copyright, 1912, by Charles Scribner's Sons. By permission of the publishers.

_To a theatre_

347 Madison Avenue, December 8, 1919.

My dear Miss Evans,

Mr. Smith and I are planning a small party of friends to see "The Mikado" on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth, and we hope that you will be among our guests.

We have arranged to meet in the lobby of the Garrick Theatre at quarter after eight o'clock. I do hope you have no other engagement.

Very cordially yours, Gertrude Ellison Smith.

_Accepting_

My dear Mrs. Smith,

I shall be delighted to come to your theatre party on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth. I shall be in the lobby of the Garrick Theatre at a quarter past eight o'clock.

It is so kind of you to ask me.

Sincerely yours, Ruth Evans. December 12,1919.

_Regretting_

My dear Mrs. Smith,

With great regret I must write that I shall be unable to join your theatre party on Thursday evening, December the eighteenth. My two cousins are visiting me and we had planned to go to the Hippodrome.

I much appreciate your thinking of me.

Very sincerely yours, Ruth Evans.

For an informal affair, if at all in doubt as to what kind of invitation to issue, it is safe to write a brief note in the first person.

Two or more sisters may receive one invitation addressed "The Misses Evans." But two bachelor brothers must receive separate invitations. A whole family should never be included in one invitation. It is decidedly not proper to address one envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Elliott and family."

_To an informal dance_

Invitations to smaller and more informal dances may be short notes. Or a visiting card is sometimes sent with a notation written in ink below the hostess's name and toward the left, as shown below:

(A)

Mrs. John Evans At Home

Dancing at half after nine 500 Park Avenue January the eighteenth R.S.V.P.

If the visiting card is used "R.S.V.P." is necessary, because usually invitations on visiting cards do not presuppose answers. The reply to the above may be either formal, in the third person, or may be an informal note.

(B)

500 Park Avenue, January 4, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Elliott,

Will you and Mr. Elliott give us the pleasure of your company on Thursday, January the eighteenth, at ten o'clock? We are planning an informal dance and we should be so glad to have you with us.

Cordially yours, Katherine G. Evans.

An acknowledgment should be sent within a week. Never acknowledge a visiting-card invitation by a visiting card. An informal note of acceptance or regret is proper.

_Accepting_

347 Madison Avenue, January 10, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Both Mr. Elliott and I shall be delighted to go to your dance on Thursday, January the eighteenth, at ten o'clock. Thank you so much for asking us.

Very sincerely yours, Jane S. Elliott.

_Regretting_

347 Madison Avenue, January 10, 1920.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Thank you for your kind invitation for Thursday, January the eighteenth; I am so sorry that Mr. Elliott and I shall not be able to accept. Mr. Elliott has been suddenly called out of town and will not be back for two weeks.

With most cordial regards, I am

Very sincerely yours, Jane S. Elliott.

A young girl sends invitations to men in the name of her mother or the person under whose guardianship she is. The invitation would say that her mother, or Mrs. Burton, or whoever it may be, wishes her to extend the invitation.

_To a house-party_

An invitation to a house-party, which may imply a visit of several days' duration (a week, ten days, or perhaps two weeks) must state exactly the dates of the beginning and end of the visit. The hostess's letter should mention the most convenient trains, indicating them on a timetable. The guest at a week-end party knows he is to arrive on Friday afternoon or Saturday morning and leave on the following Monday morning. It is thoughtful for the hostess to give an idea of the activities or sports planned. The letter might be somewhat in the following manner:

(A)

Glory View, August 1, 1922.

Dear Miss Evans,

Will you be one of our guests at a house-party we are planning? We shall be glad if you can arrange to come out to Glory View on August eighth and stay until the seventeenth. I have asked several of your friends, among them Mary Elliott and her brother.

The swimming is wonderful and there is a new float at the Yacht Club. Be sure to bring your tennis racquet and also hiking togs.

I enclose a timetable with the best trains marked. If you take the 4:29 on Thursday you can be here in time for dinner. Let me know what train you expect to get and I will have Jones meet you.

Most cordially yours, Myra T. Maxwell.

_Accepting_

500 Park Avenue, August 3, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Maxwell,

Let me thank you and Mr. Maxwell for the invitation to your house-party. I shall be very glad to come.

The 4:29 train which you suggest is the most convenient. I am looking forward to seeing you again.

Very sincerely yours, Ruth Evans.

(B)

Hawthorne Hill, January 10, 1920.

My dear Anne,

We are asking some of Dorothy's friends for this week-end and we should be glad to have you join us. Some of them you already know, and I am sure you will enjoy meeting the others as they are all congenial.

Mr. Maxwell has just bought a new flexible flyer and we expect some fine coasting. Be sure to bring your skates. Goldfish Pond is like glass.

The best afternoon train on Friday is the 3:12, and the best Saturday morning train is the 9:30.

I hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours, Myra T. Maxwell.

A letter of thanks for hospitality received at a week-end party or a house-party would seem to be obviously necessary. A cordial note should be written to your hostess thanking her for the hospitality received and telling her of your safe arrival home. This sort of letter has come into the title of the "Bread-and-Butter-Letter."

500 Park Avenue, August 18, 1922.

Dear Mrs. Maxwell,

Having arrived home safely I must tell you how much I appreciate the thoroughly good time I had. I very much enjoyed meeting your charming guests.

Let me thank you and Mr. Maxwell most heartily, and with kindest regards I am

Sincerely yours, Ruth Evans.

_To a christening_

Most christenings are informal affairs. The invitation may run like this:

September 8, 1920.

My dear Mary,

On next Sunday at three o'clock, at St. Michael's Church, the baby will be christened. Philip and I should be pleased to have you there.

Sincerely yours, Dorothy Evans Brewster.

_To bring a friend_

Often in the case of a dance or an at home we may wish to bring a friend who we think would be enjoyed by the hostess. We might request her permission thus:

600 Riverside Drive, April 25, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Dean,

May I ask you the favor of bringing with me on Wednesday evening, May the second, my old classmate, Mr. Arthur Price? He is an old friend of mine and I am sure you will like him.

If this would not be entirely agreeable to you, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Yours very sincerely, Herbert Page.

_For a card party_

500 Park Avenue

My dear Mrs. King,

Will you and Mr. King join us on Thursday evening next at bridge?[4] We expect to have several tables, and we do hope you can be with us.

Cordially yours, Katherine Gerard Evans. March the eighteenth

[4] Or whatever the game may be.

Sometimes the visiting card is used with the date and the word "Cards" written in the lower corner as in the visiting-card invitation to a dance. This custom is more often used for the more elaborate affairs.

_Miscellaneous invitations_

The following are variations of informal party and other invitations:

83 Woodlawn Avenue, November 4, 1921.

My dear Alice,

I am having a little party on Thursday evening next and I want very much to have you come. If you wish me to arrange for an escort, let me know if you have any preference.

Sincerely yours, Helen Westley.

500 Park Avenue, May 12, 1922.

My dear Alice,

On Saturday next I am giving a small party for my niece, Miss Edith Rice of Albany, and I should like very much to have her meet you. I hope you can come.

Very sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans.

THE LETTER OF CONDOLENCE

A letter of condolence may be written to relatives, close friends, and to those whom we know well. When the recipient of the condolatory message is simply an acquaintance, it is in better taste to send a visiting card with "sincere sympathy." Flowers may or may not accompany the card.

But in any case the letter should not be long, nor should it be crammed with sad quotations and mushy sentiment. Of course, at best, writing a condolence is a nice problem. Do not harrow feelings by too-familiar allusions to the deceased. The letter should be sent immediately upon receiving news of death.

When a card is received, the bereaved family acknowledge it a few weeks later with an engraved acknowledgment on a black-bordered card. A condolatory letter may be acknowledged by the recipient or by a relative or friend who wishes to relieve the bereaved one of this task.

_Formal acknowledgment engraved on card_

_Mrs. Gordon Burroughs and Family Gratefully acknowledge Your kind expression of sympathy_

The cards, however, may be engraved with a space for the name to be filled in:

_____________________________ _Gratefully acknowledge_

_____________________________ _Kind expression of sympathy_

When the letter of condolence is sent from a distance, it is acknowledged by a note from a member of the bereaved family. When the writer of the condolence makes the customary call afterward, the family usually makes a verbal acknowledgment and no written reply is required.

_Letters of condolence_

(A)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

May every consolation be given you in your great loss. Kindly accept my deepest sympathy.

Sincerely yours, Jane Everett. October 4, 1921

(B)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

It is with the deepest regret that we learn of your bereavement. Please accept our united and heartfelt sympathies.

Very sincerely yours, Katherine Gerard Evans. October 5, 1921

(C)

My dear Eleanor,

May I express my sympathy for you in the loss of your dear mother, even though there can be no words to comfort you? She was so wonderful to all of us that we can share in some small part in your grief.

With love, I am

Affectionately yours, Ruth Evans. July 8, 1922

(D)

My dear Mrs. Burroughs,

I am sorely grieved to learn of the death of your husband, for whom I had the greatest admiration and regard. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

Yours sincerely, Douglas Spencer. October 6, 1921

A letter of condolence that is something of a classic is Abraham Lincoln's famous letter to Mrs. Bixby, the bereaved mother of five sons who died for their country:

Washington, November 21, 1864.

Dear Madam:

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln.

This is the letter[5] that Robert E. Lee, when he was president of Washington College, wrote to the father of a student who was drowned:

Washington College, Lexington, Virginia, March 19, 1868.

My dear Sir:

Before this you have learned of the affecting death of your son. I can say nothing to mitigate your grief or to relieve your sorrow: but if the sincere sympathy of his comrades and friends and of the entire community can bring you any consolation, I can assure you that you possess it in its fullest extent. When one, in the pureness and freshness of youth, before having been contaminated by sin or afflicted by misery, is called to the presence of his Merciful Creator, it must be solely for his good. As difficult as this may be for you now to recognize, I hope you will keep it constantly in your memory and take it to your comfort; pray that He who in His wise Providence has permitted this crushing sorrow may sanctify it to the happiness of all. Your son and his friend, Mr. Birely, often passed their leisure hours in rowing on the river, and, on last Saturday afternoon, the 4th inst., attempted what they had more than once been cautioned against--to approach the foot of the dam, at the public bridge. Unfortunately, their boat was caught by the return-current, struck by the falling water, and was immediately upset. Their perilous position was at once seen from the shore, and aid was hurried to their relief, but before it could reach them both had perished. Efforts to restore your son's life, though long continued, were unavailing. Mr. Birely's body was not found until next morning. Their remains were, yesterday, Sunday, conveyed to the Episcopal church in this city, where the sacred ceremonies for the dead were performed by the Reverend Dr. Pendleton, who nineteen years ago, at the far-off home of their infancy, placed upon them their baptismal vows. After the service a long procession of the professors and students of the college, the officers and cadets of the Virginia Military Academy, and the citizens of Lexington accompanied their bodies to the packetboat for Lynchburg, where they were placed in charge of Messrs. Wheeler & Baker to convey them to Frederick City.

With great regard and sincere sympathy, I am,

Most respectfully, R. E. Lee.

[5] From "Recollections and Letters of General Robert E. Lee," by Capt. Robert E. Lee. Copyright, 1904, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

LETTERS OF SYMPATHY IN CASE OF ILLNESS

When President Alderman, of the University of Virginia, was forced to take a long rest in the mountains in 1912 because of incipient tuberculosis, the late Walter H. Page, at the time editor of the _World's Work_, wrote the following tenderly beautiful letter of sympathy to Mrs. Alderman:

Cathedral Avenue, Garden City, L. I., December 9, 1912.

My dear Mrs. Alderman:

In Raleigh the other day I heard a rumor of the sad news that your letter brings, which I have just received on my return from a week's absence. I had been hoping that it was merely a rumor. The first impression I have is thankfulness that it had been discovered so soon and that you have acted so promptly. On this I build a great hope.

But underlying every thought and emotion is the sadness of it--that it should have happened to _him_, now when he has done that prodigious task and borne that hard strain and was come within sight of a time when, after a period of more normal activity, he would in a few years have got the period of rest that he has won.--But these will all come yet; for I have never read a braver thing than your letter. That bravery on your part and his, together with the knowledge the doctors now have, will surely make his recovery certain and, I hope, not long delayed. If he keep on as well as he has begun, you will, I hope, presently feel as if you were taking a vacation. Forget that it is enforced.

There comes to my mind as I write man after man in my acquaintance who have successfully gone through this experience and without serious permanent hurt. Some of them live here. More of them live in North Carolina or Colorado as a precaution. I saw a few years ago a town most of whose population of several thousand persons are recovered and active, after such an experience. The disease has surely been robbed of much of its former terror.

Your own courage and cheerfulness, with his own, are the best physic in the world. Add to these the continuous and sincere interest that his thousands of friends feel--these to keep your courage up, if it should ever flag a moment--and we shall all soon have the delight to see and to hear him again--his old self, endeared, if that be possible, by this experience.

And I pray you, help me (for I am singularly helpless without suggestions from you) to be of some little service--of any service that I can. Would he like letters from me? I have plenty of time and an eagerness to write them, if they would really divert or please him. Books? What does he care most to read? I can, of course, find anything in New York. A visit some time? It would be a very real pleasure to me. You will add to my happiness greatly if you will frankly enable me to add even the least to his.

And now and always give him my love. That is precisely the word I mean; for, you know, I have known Mr. Alderman since he was graduated, and I have known few men better or cared for them more.

And I cannot thank you earnestly enough for your letter; and I shall hope to have word from you often--if (when you feel indisposed to write more) only a few lines.

How can I serve? Command me without a moment's hesitation.

Most sincerely yours, Walter H. Page. To Mrs. Edwin A. Alderman.

Joaquin Miller wrote the following letter to Walt Whitman on receiving news that the latter was ill:

Revere House, Boston, May 27, '75.

My dear Walt Whitman:[6]

Your kind letter is received and the sad news of your ill health makes this pleasant weather even seem tiresome and out of place. I had hoped to find you the same hale and whole man I had met in New York a few years ago and now I shall perhaps find you bearing a staff all full of pain and trouble. However my dear friend as you have sung from _within_ and not from _without_ I am sure you will be able to bear whatever comes with that beautiful faith and philosophy you have ever given us in your great and immortal chants. I am coming to see you very soon as you request; but I cannot say to-day or set to-morrow for I am in the midst of work and am not altogether my own master. But I will come and we will talk it all over together. In the meantime, remember that whatever befall you you have the perfect love and sympathy of many if not all of the noblest and loftiest natures of the two hemispheres. My dear friend and fellow toiler good by.

Yours faithfully, Joaquin Miller.

[6] From "With Walt Whitman in Camden," by Horace Traubel. Copyright, 1905, 1906, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

When Theodore Roosevelt was ill in hospital, Lawrence Abbott wrote him this letter:[7]

Please accept this word of sympathy and best wishes. Some years ago I had a severe attack of sciatica which kept me in bed a good many days: in fact, it kept me in an armchair night and day some of the time because I could not lie down, so I know what the discomfort and pain are.

I want to take this opportunity also of sending you my congratulations. For I think your leadership has had very much to do with the unconditional surrender of Germany. Last Friday night I was asked to speak at the Men's Club of the Church of the Messiah in this city and they requested me to make you the subject of my talk. I told them something about your experience in Egypt and Europe in 1910 and said what I most strongly believe, that your address at the Sorbonne--in strengthening the supporters of law and order against red Bolshevism--and your address in Guildhall--urging the British to govern or go--contributed directly to the success of those two governments in this war. If Great Britain had allowed Egypt to get out of hand instead of, as an actual result of your Guildhall speech, sending Kitchener to strengthen the feebleness of Sir Eldon Gorst, the Turks and Germans might have succeeded in their invasion and have cut off the Suez Canal. So you laid the ground for preparedness not only in this country but in France and England.

I know it was a disappointment to you not to have an actual share in the fighting but I think you did a greater piece of work in preparing the battleground and the battle spirit.

[7] From "Impressions of Theodore Roosevelt," by Lawrence F. Abbott Copyright, 1919, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

In reply Mr. Roosevelt sent Mr. Abbott this note:

That's a dear letter of yours, Lawrence. I thank you for it and I appreciate it to the full.

_Acknowledgments_

(A)

My dear Mr. Spencer,

I am grateful to you for your comforting letter. Thank you for your sympathy.

Sincerely yours, Mary Cole Burroughs. October 26, 1921.

(B)

My dear Mrs. Evans,

Let me thank you in behalf of myself and my family for your sympathy. Do not measure our appreciation by the length of time it has taken me to reply. We appreciated your letter deeply.

Sincerely yours, Mary Cole Burroughs. October 26, 1921.

(C)

My dear Arthur,

I want to thank you for your sympathetic letter received in our bereavement.

Sincerely yours, Mary Cole Burroughs. October 26, 1921.

(D)

Dear Mr. Treadwell,

Thank you very much for your sympathy. Your offer to be of service to me at this time I greatly appreciate, but I shall not need to trouble you, although it is comforting to know that I may call on you.

I shall never forget your kindness.

Sincerely yours, Mary Cole Burroughs. October 24, 1921.

This is the note[8] that Thomas Bailey Aldrich wrote to his friend William H. Rideing upon receiving from the latter a note of condolence:

Dear Rideing:

I knew that you would be sorry for us. I did not need your sympathetic note to tell me that. Our dear boy's death has given to three hearts--his mother's, his brother's and mine--a wound that will never heal. I cannot write about it. My wife sends her warm remembrance with mine to you both.

Ever faithfully your friend, T. B. Aldrich.

[8] From "Many Celebrities and a Few Others--A Bundle of Reminiscences," by William H. Rideing. Copyright, 1912, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

LETTERS OF CONGRATULATION

The letter of congratulation must be natural, not stilted, and must be sincere. In congratulating a new acquaintance on a marriage it is not necessary to send more than the visiting card with "heartiest congratulations." To a bride and groom together a telegram of congratulation may be sent on the day of the wedding, as soon as possible after the ceremony.

To a bride one does not send congratulations, but "the best of good wishes." The congratulations are for the groom.

The following letters will serve as examples for congratulatory letters for different occasions:

_On a birthday_

500 Park Avenue, February 6, 1923.

My dear Mrs. Elliott,

Congratulations on your birthday! I hope that all your years to come will be as happy and as helpful to others as those past.

I am sending you a little gift as a token of appreciation for your kindness to me, which I hope you will enjoy.

Most sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans.

_From a gentlemen to a young lady on her birthday_

500 Park Avenue, April 13, 1922.

My dear Miss Judson,

May I send you my congratulations on this your birthday?

I am sending a little token of my best wishes for you for many years to come.

Yours sincerely, Richard Evans.

_On a wedding day anniversary_

500 Park Avenue, June 1, 1923.

My dear Charlotte and George,

Please accept my heartiest good wishes on this, the fifteenth anniversary of your marriage. May the years to come bring every blessing to you both.

Sincerely yours, Katherine Gerard Evans.

(B)

500 Park Avenue, December 4, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Smith,

Congratulations on this the twentieth anniversary of your wedding. Our heartiest wishes to you both from Mr. Evans and me.

Yours very sincerely, Katherine Gerard Evans.

_On the birth of a child_

788 East 46th St., August 11, 1923.

My dear Dorothy,

Congratulations upon the birth of your daughter. May the good fairies shower upon her the gifts of goodness, wisdom, and beauty.

Very sincerely yours, Charlotte B. Trent.

_On a graduation_

500 Park Avenue, June 30, 1923.

My dear John,

It is with great pleasure that I hear of your graduation this year. It is a fine thing to have so successfully finished your college course.

May I send my heartiest congratulations?

Sincerely yours, Ruth Evans.

_On an engagement_

In writing to a girl or a man on the occasion of an engagement to be married there is no general rule if one knows the man or woman. One may write as one wishes.

If a stranger is to be received into the family, one writes a kindly letter.

28 Odell Avenue, April 3, 1923.

My dear Haines,

Let me be among the first to congratulate you on your engagement to Miss Bruce. I have not met her but I know that to reach your high ideals she must indeed be a wonderful girl. I hope I may soon have the pleasure of meeting her.

Sincerely yours, Charles Lawson.

500 Park Avenue, May 14, 1923.

My dear Miss Bruce,

My nephew has told me his great news. I am much pleased to hear that you are soon to come into the family, because I know that the girl of Edward's choice must be sweet and charming. I hope that you will learn to love us for our own sake as well as for Edward's.

Sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans.

500 Park Avenue, September 18, 1923.

Dear Helen,

The announcement of your engagement to Robert Haines is a delightful surprise. He is, as we all know, a splendid chap.

I am so happy that this great happiness has come to you. I hope that I may hear all about it, and with best wishes to you both, I am

Affectionately yours, Ruth Evans.

On the subject of engagements, perhaps the following letter from Charles Lamb to Fanny Kelly, and her reply, will be of interest--though the unarduous and somewhat prosaic tone of Elia's proposal of marriage--beautifully expressed as it is--is hardly to be recommended as a model calculated to bring about the desired result!

Dear Miss Kelly:

We had the pleasure, _pain_ I might better call it, of seeing you last night in the new play. It was a most consummate piece of acting, but what a task for you to undergo! At a time when your heart is sore from real sorrow it has given rise to a train of thinking, which I cannot suppress.

Would to God you were released from this way of life; that you could bring your mind to consent to take your lot with us, and throw off forever the whole burden of your profession. I neither expect nor wish you to take notice of this which I am writing, in your present over occupied and hurried state--but to think of it at your leisure. I have quite income enough, if that were all, to justify for me making such a proposal, with what I may call even a handsome provision for my survivor. What you possess of your own would naturally be appropriated to those, for whose sakes chiefly you have made so many hard sacrifices. I am not so foolish as not to know that I am a most unworthy match for such a one as you, but you have for years been a principal object in my mind. In many a sweet assumed character I have learned to love you, but simply as F. M. Kelly I love you better than them all. Can you quit these shadows of existence, and come and be a reality to us? Can you leave off harassing yourself to please a thankless multitude, who know nothing of you, and begin at last to live to yourself and your friends?

As plainly and frankly as I have seen you give or refuse assent in some feigned scene, so frankly do me the justice to answer me. It is impossible I should feel injured or aggrieved by your telling me at once, that the proposal does not suit you. It is impossible that I should ever think of molesting you with idle importunity and prosecution after your mind [is] once firmly spoken--but happier, far happier, could I have leave to hope a time might come, when our friends might be your friends; our interests yours; our book knowledge, if in that inconsiderable particular we have any like advantage, might impart something to you, which you would every day have it in your power ten thousand fold to repay by the added cheerfulness and joy which you could not fail to bring as a dowry into whatever family should have the honor and happiness of receiving _you_, the most welcome accession that could be made to it.

In haste, but with entire respect and deepest affection, I subscribe myself

C. Lamb.

To this letter Miss Kelly replied:

Henrietta Street, July 20, 1819.

An early and deeply rooted attachment has fixed my heart on one from whom no worldly prospect can well induce me to withdraw it, but while I thus _frankly_ and decidedly decline your proposal, believe me, I am not insensible to the high honour which the preference of such a mind as yours confers upon me--let me, however, hope that all thought upon this subject will end with this letter, and that you will henceforth encourage no other sentiment towards me than esteem in my private character and a continuance of that approbation of my humble talents which you have already expressed so much and so often to my advantage and gratification.

Believe me I feel proud to acknowledge myself

Your obliged friend, F. M. Kelly. To C. Lamb, Esq.

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION

Letters of introduction should not be given indiscriminately. If the giver of the letter feels that something of benefit may come to both of the persons concerned, then there is no doubt about the advisability of it. But a letter of introduction should not be given to get rid of the person who asks for it.

It is not good form to ask for one. If it is really necessary to have one and the friend to be requested knows that you need it, he will probably give you the letter unsolicited.

A letter of introduction should not be sealed by the person giving it. It is written in social form and placed in an unsealed envelope addressed to the person to whom the introduction is made. If the letter is a friendly letter, it is enclosed in an additional envelope by the person who requested the letter, sealed, and with his card on which appears his city address, sent to the person addressed. The person addressed, upon the receipt of the letter, calls within three days upon the person who is introduced.

It has been customary to deliver a business letter of introduction in person, but on consideration, it would seem that this is not the wisest course. The letters of introduction most in demand are those to very busy men--men of affairs. If one calls personally at the office of such a man, the chance of seeing him on the occasion of presenting the letter is slight. And, as has often been proved in practice, a telephone call to arrange an appointment seldom gets through. The best plan seems to be to mail the letter with a short note explaining the circumstances under which it was written.

Sometimes (more often in business) an introduction is made by a visiting card with "Introducing Mr. Halliday" written at the top. This method may be used with a person with whom we are not well acquainted. This introductory card is usually presented in person, but what has been said concerning the letter applies here also.

Matters of a personal or private nature should not appear in letters of introduction.

(A)

New York, N. Y., June 8, 1922.

Dear Dick,

The bearer of this note, Mr. Donald Ritchie of Boston, expects to be in your town for six months or so. He is an old friend of mine--in fact, I knew him at College--and I think you would like him.

He is going to Black Rock in the interest of the Sedgwick Cement Company. He knows nobody in Black Rock, and anything you can do to make his stay pleasant, I shall greatly appreciate.

Cordially yours, John Hope.

(B)

Canajoharie, New York, June 8, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Evans,

This will introduce to you Miss Caroline Wagner who is the daughter of one of my oldest friends. She will be in New York this winter to continue her music studies.

She is a girl of charming personality and has many accomplishments. I am sure you will enjoy her company. She is a stranger in New York and any courtesy you may extend to her I shall be deeply grateful for.

Very sincerely yours, Edna Hamilton Miller.

Mrs. John Evans 500 Park Avenue New York, N. Y.

(C)

8 Beacon Street, Boston, Mass., March 17, 1922.

My dear Brent,

The bearer, William Jones, is a young acquaintance of mine who is going to live in Cleveland. If there is anything you can do without too much trouble to yourself in recommending a place to board, or assisting him to a situation, I shall be grateful. He has good habits, and if he gets a foothold I am sure he will make good.

Yours sincerely, Robert T. Hill.

Another letter, already immortal as a literary gem, is Benjamin Franklin's "Model of a Letter of Recommendation of a Person You Are Unacquainted With":

Sir,

The bearer of this, who is going to America, presses me to give him a letter of recommendation, though I know nothing of him, not even his name. This may seem extraordinary, but I assure you it is not uncommon here. Sometimes, indeed, one unknown person brings another equally unknown, to recommend him; and sometimes they recommend one another! As to this gentleman, I must refer you to himself for his character and merits, with which he is certainly better acquainted than I can possibly be. I recommend him, however, to those civilities, which every stranger, of whom one knows no harm, has a right to; and I request you will do him all the good offices, and show him all the favor, that, on further acquaintance, you shall find him to deserve. I have the honor to be, etc.

LETTERS OF THANKS

_For a wedding gift_

The letter of thanks for a wedding gift must be sent as soon as possible after the receipt of the gift. The bride herself must write it. When the wedding is hurried or when gifts arrive at the last moment, the bride is not required to acknowledge them until after the honeymoon. In all cases the gift is acknowledged both for herself and her husband-elect or husband.

(A)

898 East 53rd Street May 5, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Elliott,

The bouillon spoons are exquisite. It was simply lovely of you to send us such a beautiful gift. Leonard wishes to express with me our deepest appreciation.

With all good wishes, I am

Sincerely yours, Dorothy Evans Duncan.

(B)

898 East 53rd Street May 8, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Callender,

This is the first opportunity I have had to thank you for your wonderful gift. But, as you know, our arrangements were changed at the last moment and many of our wedding gifts we did not have time to open before going away. So we hope you will forgive us for the delay.

We are now back in town established in our new home and I want you to know how appropriate are those exquisite candlesticks. Mr. Duncan and I are both deeply grateful for your thought of us.

Yours most sincerely, Dorothy Evans Duncan.

_For a Christmas gift_

134 Bolton Place December 28, 1923.

My dear Alice,

Your handsome Christmas gift is something I have wanted for a long time, but never could get for myself. The bag and its beautiful fittings are much admired. I send my warmest thanks for your thoughtfulness in selecting it.

Very sincerely yours, Mary Scott.

_For a gift received by a girl from a man_

400 Ellsworth Place April 14, 1922.

My dear Mr. Everett,

Thank you for your good wishes and for your lovely gift in remembrance of my birthday. It is a charming book and one which I am very anxious to read.

It was most kind of you to think of me.

Sincerely yours, Katherine Judson.

_For a gift to a child_

798 East 38th Street, December 31, 1923.

My dear Mr. Basset,

Your wonderful Christmas gift to Barbara came this morning. She is wholly captivated with her beautiful doll and I am sure would thank you for it if she could talk.

Let me thank you for your kindness in remembering her.

Cordially yours, Dorothy Evans Brewster.

_For a gift to another_

49 Maxwell Avenue, Bayview, Long Island, July 15, 1923.

My dear Mr. Haines,

I appreciate very much the exquisite flowers which you so kindly sent to Mrs. Evans. She is rapidly improving and will soon be about again.

We send our warmest thanks.

Very sincerely yours, John Evans.

_For favor shown to another_

500 Park Avenue, November 25, 1922.

My dear Mrs. Howard,

You were very kind indeed in entertaining my cousin, Mrs. Douglas, during her stay in your city. I am exceedingly grateful and I hope to find some way of reciprocating.

Very sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans.

Following are actual letters of thanks written by distinguished persons. Here is one[9] from George Meredith to Lady Granby, acknowledging the receipt of a reproduction of a portrait by her of Lady Marjorie Manners:

Box Hill, Dorking, Dec. 26, 1899.

Dear Lady Granby:

It is a noble gift, and bears the charms to make it a constant pleasure with me. I could have wished for the full face of your daughter, giving eyes and the wild sweep of hair, as of a rivule issuing from under low eaves of the woods--so I remember her. You have doubtless other sketches of a maid predestined to be heroine. I could take her for one. All the women and children are heaven's own, and human still, and individual too. Behold me, your most grateful

George Meredith.

[9] From "Letters of George Meredith." Copyright, 1912, by Chas. Scribner's Sons. By permission of the publishers.

From Lord Alfred Tennyson to Walt Whitman:[10]

Farringford, Freshwater, Isle of Wight, Jan'y 15th, 1887.

Dear old man:

I the elder old man have received your Article in the _Critic_, and send you in return my thanks and New Year's greeting on the wings of this east-wind, which, I trust, is blowing softlier and warmlier on your good gray head than here, where it is rocking the elms and ilexes of my Isle of Wight garden.

Yours always, Tennyson.

[10] This and the following four letters are from "With Walt Whitman in Camden," by Horace Traubel. Copyright, 1905, 1906, 1912, 1914, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

From Ellen Terry to Walt Whitman:

Grand Pacific Hotel, Chicago, January 4th, '88.

Honored Sir--and Dear Poet:

I beg you to accept my appreciative thanks for your great kindness in sending me by Mr. Stoker the little _big_ book of poems--As a Strong Bird, etc., etc.

Since I am not personally known to you I conclude Mr. Stoker "asked" for me--it was good of him--I know he loves you very much.

God bless you, dear sir--believe me to be with much respect

Yours affectionately, Ellen Terry.

From Moncure Conway to Walt Whitman:

Hardwicke Cottage, Wimbledon Common, London, S. W., Sept. 10, '67.

My dear friend:

It gave me much pleasure to hear from you; now I am quite full of gratitude for the photograph--a grand one--the present of all others desirable to me. The copy suitable for an edition here should we be able to reach to that I have and shall keep carefully. When it is achieved it will probably be the result and fruit of more reviewing and discussion. I shall keep my eyes wide open; and the volume with O'C.'s introduction shall come out just as it is: I am not sure but that it will in the end have to be done at our own expense--which I believe would be repaid. It is the kind of book that if it can once get out here will sell. The English groan for something better than the perpetual rechauffe of their literature. I have not been in London for some little time and have not yet had time to consult others about the matter. I shall be able to write you more satisfactorily a little later. I hear that you have written something in _The Galaxy_. Pray tell O'Connor I shall look to him to send me such things. I can't take all American magazines; but if you intend to write for _The Galaxy_ regularly I shall take that. With much friendship for you and O'Connor and his wife, I am yours,

Moncure Conway.

From John Addington Symonds to Walt Whitman:

Clifton Hill House, Bristol, July 12, 1877.

Dear Mr. Whitman:

I was away from England when your welcome volumes reached me, and since my return (during the last six weeks) I have been very ill with an attack of hemorrhage from the lung--brought on while I was riding a pulling horse at a time when I was weak from cold. This must account for my delay in writing to thank you for them and to express the great pleasure which your inscription in two of the volumes has given me.

I intend to put into my envelope a letter to you with some verses from one of your great admirers in England. It is my nephew--the second son of my sister. I gave him a copy of _Leaves of Grass_ in 1874, and he knows a great portion of it now by heart. Though still so young, he has developed a considerable faculty for writing and is an enthusiastic student of literature as well as a frank vigorous lively young fellow. I thought you might like to see how some of the youth of England is being drawn towards you.

Believe me always sincerely and affectionately yours.

J. A. Symonds.

From Edward Everett Hale to Dr. Lyman Abbott:[11]

Jan. 29, 1900, Roxbury, Monday morning.

Dear Dr. Abbott:

I shall stay at home this morning--so I shall not see you.

All the same I want to thank you again for the four sermons: and to say that I am sure they will work lasting good for the congregation.

More than this. I think you ought to think that such an opportunity to go from church to church and city to city--gives you a certain opportunity and honour--which even in Plymouth Pulpit a man does not have--and to congregations such a turning over the new leaf means a great deal.

Did you ever deliver the Lectures on Preaching at New Haven?

With Love always, Always yours, E. E. Hale.

[11] From "Silhouettes of My Contemporaries," by Lyman Abbott. Copyright, 1921, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

From Friedrich Nietzsche to Karl Fuchs:[12]

Sils-Maria, Oberengadine, Switzerland, June 30, 1888.

My dear Friend:

How strange! How strange! As soon as I was able to transfer myself to a cooler clime (for in Turin the thermometer stood at 31 day after day) I intended to write you a nice letter of thanks. A pious intention, wasn't it? But who could have guessed that I was not only going back to a cooler clime, but into the _most ghastly_ weather, weather that threatened to shatter my health! Winter and summer in senseless alternation; twenty-six avalanches in the thaw; and now we have just had eight days of rain with the sky almost always grey--this is enough to account for my profound nervous exhaustion, together with the return of my old ailments. I don't think I can ever remember having had worse weather, and this in my Sils-Maria, whither I always fly in order to escape bad weather. Is it to be wondered at that even the parson here is acquiring the habit of swearing? From time to time in conversation his speech halts, and then he always swallows a curse. A few days ago, just as he was coming out of the snow-covered church, he thrashed his dog and exclaimed: "The confounded cur spoiled the whole of my sermon!"...

Yours in gratitude and devotion,

Nietzsche.

[12] From "Selected Letters of Friedrich Nietzsche," edited by Oscar Levy. Copyright, 1921, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

In making a donation of L100,000 for branch libraries in the city of Glasgow, this is the letter[13] that Andrew Carnegie sent to the Lord Provost of the city council:

My dear Lord Provost:

It will give me pleasure to provide the needed L100,000 for Branch Libraries, which are sure to prove of great advantage to the masses of the people. It is just fifty years since my parents with their little boys sailed from Broomielaw for New York in the barque _Wiscassett_, 900 tons, and it is delightful to be permitted to commemorate the event upon my visit to you. Glasgow has done so much in municipal affairs to educate other cities, and to help herself, that it is a privilege to help her. Let Glasgow flourish! So say all of us Scotsmen throughout the World.

Always yours, Andrew Carnegie.

[13] From "Andrew Carnegie, the Man and His Work," by Bernard Alderson. Copyright, 1902, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

LETTERS BETWEEN FRIENDS

Dear Grace,

Your 'phone call surely caught me napping; but after an hour or so of effort I did recall just how Sato mixed the shrimps and carrots in the dish which you so much enjoyed.

First, catch your shrimp! When they have been cleaned and prepared as for a salad, place on ice and _in_ ice, if possible. Grate the carrots on the coarse side of the grater, placing immediately on the salad plates, which of course have already been garnished with lettuce leaves. Then add just a fine sprinkling of chopped apples (I find this the best substitute for alligator pears) and then the shrimps. Pour over this the mayonnaise and serve at once.

I do not know what he called it and could not spell it if I did, but you are at liberty to call it anything you like. At all events, I am sure the crowd will agree it is a little different, and I am glad to have been able to give the idea.

Cordially yours, Ruth Wilson.

July 14, 1921

My dear Mrs. Sampson,

I am so glad to know that you have completely recovered from your recent illness.

I trust you will soon be able to resume your wonted activities. We all have missed you--at bridge and tennis particularly.

Sincerely yours, Mary E. Wells. July 18, 1923

My dear Mr. Baines,

I have just heard of your success in getting your book published. I have always had a great admiration for you and your work, and I am sending this little note to assure you of my regard, and to wish you still further successes.

Yours very sincerely, Madeleine Strickland. March 10, 1923

My dear Miss Gwynne,

I am very sorry that I was out when you called. I hope you will come again soon for I do so much want to see you.

Sincerely yours, Katherine G. Evans. February 16, 1923

It may be of passing interest to read a letter or two from distinguished persons to their boyhood friends. Here is one[14] from the late John Burroughs:

Esopus, N. Y., June 1, 1883.

Dear Tom Brown:

I have been a-fishing or I should have answered your letter before. I always go a-fishing about this time of year, after speckled trout, and I always catch some, too. But dog-fighting I have nothing to do with, unless it be to help some little dog whip some saucy big cur. Game birds are all right in their season, but I seldom hunt them. Yet this is about the best way to study them.

You want to know how I felt as a boy. Very much as I do now, only more so. I loved fishing, and tramping, and swimming more than I do these late years. But I had not so tender a heart. I was not so merciful to the birds and animals as I am now.

Much of what I have put in my books was gathered while a boy on the farm. I am interested in what you tell me of your Band of Mercy, and should like much to see you all, and all the autographs in that pink covered book. Well, youth is the time to cultivate habits of mercy, and all other good habits. The bees will soon be storing their clover honey, and I trust you boys and girls are laying away that which will by and by prove choicest possessions.

Sincerely your friend, John Burroughs.

[14] From "John Burroughs, Boy and Man," by Dr. Clara Barrus. Copyright, 1920, by Doubleday, Page & Co.

The following letter[15] was written when J. J. Hill--perhaps the greatest railroading genius America has ever produced--was twenty years of age. It is one of the few letters written by him at this time of his life that have been preserved:

Saint Paul, February 11, 1858.

Dear William:

Your epistle bearing date of seventeenth ult. came to hand on good time and your fertile imagination can scarcely conceive what an amount of pleasure I derived from it, as it was the first epistle of William to James at St. Paul for a "long back." My surprise at receiving your letter was only surpassed by my surprise at not receiving one from you after you left St. Paul, or sometime during the ensuing season. Still, a good thing is never too late or "done too often." It gave me much pleasure to hear that you were all well and enjoying yourselves in the good and pious (as I learn) little town of Rockwood. I did intend to go to Canada this winter, but it is such a long winter trip I thought I should defer it until summer, when I hope to be able to get away, as I intend to go on the river this summer if all goes as well as I expect. Capt. W. F. Davidson wrote me from Cincinnati about going with him as first clerk on the side-wheel packet _Frank Steele_, a new boat about the size of the _War Eagle_. The Captain is Letter A, No. 1, and I think I shall go with him. If not, I have two or three good offers for coming season on the levee, besides my present berth, which is nevertheless very comfortable.

I think it mighty strange that some (of my letters) have not reached home as I wrote several times to my brother Alex. and I never was more surprised in my life than when old Bass handed me a letter of inquiry as to my whereabouts. But after the boats stop running our mails are carried so irregularly that whole bags of mail matter are often mislaid at way stations for weeks and some finally lost or otherwise destroyed. On the tenth of November last I was returning from the Winslow House with Charley Coffin, Clerk of the _War Eagle_, about eleven o'clock, and when we were coming down Fourth Street passing one of those rum holes, two Irishmen, red mouths, came out and, following us, asked us if we would not go back and take a drink. Charley said "no," and we were passing on when two more met us who, along with the other two, insisted that they meant no harm and that we should go in and drink. I told them that I did not drink and that, generally speaking, I knew what I was about. We attempted to go on, but they tried to have us go back, so I hauled off and planted one, two in Paddie's grub grinder, and knocked him off the sidewalk about eight feet. The remainder pitched in and Charley got his arm cut open and I got a button hole cut through my left side right below the ribs. The city police came to the noise and arrested three of them on the spot and the other next day and they turned out to be Chicago Star Cleaners, a name given to midnight ruffians. I was not compelled to keep my bed, but it was some two months before I was quite recovered from the effects of the cut.

One day on the levee I was going aboard one of the boats and slipped on the gang plank and sprained my knee, which laid me up for about two weeks. About a week ago my pugnacious friend who gave me his mark escaped from the penitentiary at Stillwater, along with all the rest of the prisoners confined at the time. I am sincerely very grateful to you for your generous offer in your letter and fully appreciate your kindness. But notwithstanding my bad luck I have still "a shot in the locker," about $200, which will put me out of any trouble until spring.

Our winter here has been very mild and open. We have scarcely had any snow, but what was altogether unprecedented, rain storms lasting three or four days in succession. Times have been mighty dull here this winter and money scarce. Write to me as soon as you receive this and give me a bird's eye view of Rockwood and its inhabitants. Believe me

Yours sincerely, J. J. Hill. Send me some papers.

[15] From "The Life of James J. Hill," by Joseph Gilpin Pyle. Copyright, 1916, 1917, by Doubleday, Page & Co.