Chapter 5

19. "To inundate (_a_) (11) their land, to man their ships, to leave their country, with all its miracles of art and industry, its cities, its villas, and its (_b_) (11) pastures buried under the waves (_c_) (11); to bear to a distant climate their (_d_) (11) faith and their old (_e_) (11) liberties; to establish, with auspices _that_(10 _a) might perhaps be happier_, the new (_f_) (11) _constitution of their commonwealth_, in a (_g_) (11) foreign and strange (_h_) (11) land, in the Spice Islands of the Eastern Seas, (38) were the plans which they had the spirit to form."

(_a_) Introduce "dykes." (_b_) Introduce something _peculiar_ to the Dutch, _e.g._ "canals," "tulip gardens." (_c_) "of the German Ocean." (_d_) The Dutch were Calvinists. (_e_) The country was in old times "Batavia," so that "Batavian" would be a fit epithet to denote what the Dutch had inherited from their forefathers. (_f_) "Stadthaus," the German for "town-hall." (_g_) "other stars." (_h_) "strange vegetation."

20. "During twenty years of unexampled prosperity, _during_ (_a_) _which_ the wealth of the nation had shot (14 _a_) _up and extended its branches_ on every side, and the funds _had_ (14 _a_) _soared_ to a higher point than had been ever attained before, (_b_) (15) speculation had become general."

(_a_) Omit. (_b_) Begin a new sentence: "This, _or_ Prosperity, had increased the taste for speculation."

21. "At that time (_a_) (16) a mere narrow-minded pedant (for he deserves no better name) had been set up by the literary world as a great author, and as the supreme (_b_) critic, alone qualified to deliver decisions _which could never be_ (_b_) _reversed_ upon (15 _a_) _the literary productions of the day_."

(_a_) End with " ... one who was--for he deserves no better name--a mere narrow-minded pedant." (_b_) "Which could never be reversed" can be expressed in one word; or else "the supreme ... reversed" may be condensed into a personification: "a very Minos of contemporary criticism."

22. "With the intention of fulfilling his promise, and (40 _a_) _intending also_ to clear himself from the suspicion that attached to him, he determined to ascertain _how_ (40 _a_) _far this testimony_ was corroborated, and (_a_) (40 _a_) the motives of the prosecutor, (_b_) (43) who had begun the suit last Christmas."

(_a_) "what were." (_b_) Begin a new sentence, "The latter &c.," or "The suit had been begun &c."

23. "The Jewish nation, relying on the teaching of their prophets, looked forward to a time when its descendants should be as numerous as _the heavenly_ (11) _bodies_, and when the _products_ (_a_) (11) _of the earth_ should be _so increased as to create an abundant_ (54) _plenty_, when each man should rest beneath the shade of his own (_a_) (11) _trees_, and when the _instruments_ (11) _of war_ should be _converted to the_ (11) _uses of peace_."

(_a_) Mention some "products," "trees" of Palestine.

24. "He replied (32), when he was asked the reason for his sudden unpopularity, that he owed it to his refusal to annul the commercial treaty, (_a_) (8) _which_(10 _a'_) gave great displeasure to the poorer classes."

(_a_) Point out the ambiguity, and remove it by (8) or (10 _a'_).

25. "I saw my old schoolfellow again by mere accident when I was in London at the time of the first Exhibition, (19) _walking_ down Regent Street and looking in at the shops."

Point out and remove the ambiguity.

26. "He remained in the House while his speech was taken into consideration; _which_ (52) _was_ a common practice with him, because the debates amused his sated mind, and indeed _he used to say_ (_a_) (6 _b_) _that they_ were sometimes as good as a comedy. His Majesty had certainly never seen _a more_ (17) _sudden turn_ in any comedy of intrigue, either at his own play-house or the Duke's, than that which this memorable debate produced."

(_a_) "and were sometimes, he used to say, as good &c."

27. "The Commons would not approve the war (20) _expressly_; neither did they as yet condemn it (20) _expressly_; and (_a_) (18) the king might even have obtained a supply for continuing hostilities (19) from them, on condition _of_ (_b_) _redressing_ grievances _connected with the_ (_c_) _administration of affairs at home_, among which the Declaration of Indulgence was a very _important_ (_d_) (15_a_) one."

(_a_) Write "they were even ready to grant the king &c." (_b_) Use the verb with a subject, (_c_) Condense all this into one adjective, meaning "that which takes place at home." (_d_) End with a noun, "importance," or "foremost place."

28. "Next to thinking clearly, (_a_) (5) _it is_ useful to speak clearly, and whatever your position in life may hereafter be _it_ cannot be such (54) as not to be improved by _this_, (_b_) so that _it_ is worth while making almost any effort to acquire (_c_) _it_, if _it_ is not a natural gift: (_d_) _it_ being an undoubted (_d_) fact that the effort to acquire _it_ must be successful, to some extent at least, if (_d_) _it_ be moderately persevered in."

(_a_) "Next in utility ... comes speaking clearly--a power that must be of assistance to you &c." (_b_)" If, therefore, you cannot speak clearly by nature, you &c." (_c_) "this power." (_d_) Omit "fact;" "for undoubtedly, with moderate perseverance &c."

29. "_It_ (_a_) (38) _appears to me_ (15) _a greater victory than Agincourt, a grander triumph of wisdom and faith and courage than even the English constitution or_ (_b_) _liturgy_, to have beaten back, or even fought against and stemmed in ever so small a degree, those _basenesses that_ (_c_) (10_a_) _beset_ human nature, which are now held so invincible that the influences of them are assumed as the fundamental axioms of economic science."

(_a_) Begin with "To have beaten &c.," and end with "liturgy." (_b_) Repeat for clearness and emphasis, "the English." (_c_) "The besetting basenesses of &c."

30. "The (_a_) (2) _unprecedented_ impudence of our youthful representative reminds us forcibly of the _unblushing and_ (54) (40) _remarkable_ effrontery (_c_) (which (26) he almost succeeds in equalling) of the Member for St. Alban's, whom our (_b_) (1) _neophyte_ (_b_) (1) _alluded to_, in the last speech with which he favoured _those whom_ (47_a_) _he represents_, (19) as his pattern and example."

(_a_) Show that "unprecedented" is inconsistent with what follows. (_b_) What is the meaning of "neophyte," "alluded to"? (_c_) Begin a new sentence, "Our young adventurer &c.," and end with "and he almost succeeds in equalling his master."

31. "The (_a_) (1) _veracity_ of this story is questionable, and there is the more reason for doubting the (_a_) (1) _truth_ of the narrator, because in his remarks on the (1) _observation_ of the Sabbath he distinctly (_a_) (1) _alludes to_ a custom that can be shown never to have existed."

(_a_) Distinguish between "veracity" and "truth," "observation" and "observance." Show the inconsistency between "allude" and "distinctly."

32. "It (_a_) (5) is a most just distribution, (10 _a_) _which_ the late Mr. Tucker has dwelt upon _so_ (_b_) largely in his works, between pleasures in which we are passive, and pleasures in which we are active. And I believe every attentive observer of human life will _assent to_ (_c_) _this position_, that however (_d_) _grateful_ the sensations may occasionally be in which we are passive, it is not these, but the latter class of our pleasures, (8) _which_ constitutes satisfaction, (_e_) (38) _which_ supply that regular stream of moderate and miscellaneous enjoyments in (10 _c_) _which_ happiness, as distinguished from voluptuousness, consists."

(_a_) "There is great justice in &c." (b) Omit "so." (_c_) "admit." (_d_) Not often now used in this sense. (_e_) Repeat the antecedent, "I mean those (pleasures) &c."

33. "The prince seemed to have before him a _limitless_ (54) _prospect of unbounded_ prosperity, carefully (33) _trained_ for the (_a_) _tasks_ of the throne, and stimulated by the (_a_) _pattern_ of his father, (_b_) who (43) _breathed his_ (3) _last_ suddenly at the age of sixty-two, just after the conclusion of the war."

(_a_) Find more appropriate words. (_b_) Begin a new sentence.

34. "On his way, he visited a son of an old friend (_a_) (25) _who_ had asked _him_ to call upon _him_ on his journey northward. _He_ (_b_) (5) was overjoyed to see _him_, and (_c_) _he_ sent for one of _his_ most intelligent workmen and told (_d_) _him_ to consider _himself_ at (_e_) _his_ service, (30) as _he himself_ could not take (_f_) _him_ as _he_ (_g_) wished about the city."

(_a_) If you mean that the "son" had "asked him," write "An old friend's son who;" if you mean that the "friend" had "asked him," write "He had been asked by an old friend to call, on his journey northward, upon his son. Accordingly he visited him on his way." (_b_) Use, instead of _he_, some name meaning "one who entertains others." (_c_) Use participle, (_d_) "The man." (_e_) "the stranger's." (_f_) "his guest." (_g_) Write "could have wished" to make it clear that "he" means "the host."

35. "Tillotson died in this year. He was exceedingly beloved both by King William and by Queen Mary (43), who nominated Dr. Tennison, Bishop of Lincoln, to succeed him."

36. "(_a_) The entertainment was arranged with a magnificence that was (_b_) perfectly _stupendous_ and (_c_) _most unprecedented_, and which quite kept up his Lordship's _unrivalled_ reputation for _unparalleled_ hospitality, and, thanks to the _unequalled_ energy of Mr. Smith, who is _rapidly becoming one of the most effective_ toast-masters in the kingdom, the toasts were given with a spirit _quite unexampled_ on occasions of this nature; and indeed we were forcibly reminded in this respect of the _inimitable_ entertainment of three years ago (2)."

(_a_) Omit most of the epithets, or soften them down. Point out the contradictions in the sentence as it stands. (_b_) Write "a remarkable magnificence that quite &c.," thus dispensing with the following "and." (_c_) Show that "most" is superfluous.

37. "If we compare Shakespeare with the other dramatic authors of the Elizabethan era, _his wonderful superiority to them in the_ (15) _knowledge of human nature_ is _what_ (15 _a_) _principally strikes us_."

38. "The prince found himself at once in sore perplexity how to provide himself with the commonest comforts or even necessaries of life, when he landed on this desolate coast, being (33) accustomed to luxury."

39. "This make-shift policy recommended itself to the succeeding _ministers_ (_a_) (50), _both because they were timid and because they were prejudiced_, and they were delighted to _excuse_ (_b_) (13) _themselves by quoting_ the example of one who (_c_) (34) had controlled the Liberals and humoured the Conservatives, (37) commended himself to the country at large by his unfailing good-humour, and (_d_) (44) (37) done nothing worthy of the name of statesman."

(_a_) "to the timidity and prejudices of &c." (_b_) "shelter themselves behind." (_c_) "while he had at once." (_d_) "had yet done."

40. "William Shakespeare was the sun among the lesser lights of English poetry, and a native of Stratford-on-Avon (14 _a_)."

41. "(15 _b_) I think, gentlemen, you must confess that any one of you would have done the same (32), if you had been tempted as I was then, placed starving and ragged among wasteful luxury and comfort, deliberately instigated to acts of dishonesty by those whom I had been taught from infancy to love, (_a_) praised when I stole, mocked or punished when I failed to (15 _a_) _do_ (_b_) _so_."

(_a_) Insert another infinitive beside "love." "Love" produces "obedience." (b) Repeat the verb instead of "do so."

42. "So far from being the first (54) _aggressor_, he _not_ (22) _only_ refused to prosecute his old friend when a favourable opportunity presented itself for revenging himself thus upon him, _but also_ his friend's adviser, John Smith. Smith (_a_) _at all_ (23) _events_ suspected, if he did not know of the coming danger, and had given no information of it."

(_a_) If "at all events" qualifies "Smith," the sentence must be altered. "Yet, however innocent his friend may have been, at all events Smith suspected...." If the words qualify "suspected," place them after "suspected."

43. "It is quite true that he paid 5_s._ per day to English navvies, _and even 6s._, (19) in preference to 2_s._ 6_d._ to French navvies."

44. "Having climbed to the _apex_ of the Righi to enjoy the spectacle of the sun-rise, I found myself so _incommoded_ by a number of _illiterate individuals_ who had _emerged_ from the hotel for a (_a_) (1) _similar_ purpose, that I determined to quit them _at the earliest practicable period_; and therefore, without stopping to _partake of breakfast_, I _wended my way_ back _with all possible celerity_." (3)

(_a_) "the same."

45. "You admit that miracles are _not natural_. Now whatever _is unnatural_ is wrong, and since, by your own admission, miracles are _unnatural_, it follows that miracles are wrong." (1)

46. "Who is the man that has dared to call into _civilized_ alliance the (_a_) (41) inhabitant of the woods, to delegate to the (_a_) Indian the defence of our disputed rights?

(_a_) Insert some antithetical or other epithets.

47. "A (_a_) _very_ (11) _small proportion_ indeed of those who have attempted to solve this problem (_b_) (19) have succeeded in obtaining even a plausible solution."

(_a_) State what proportion succeeded, or, if you like, what failed: "not one in a hundred." (_b_) Begin, "Of all those that &c."

48. "_To be suddenly_ (_a_) (47 _a_) _brought into contact_ with a system (8) _which_ forces one to submit to wholesale imposture, and _to being_ (40 _a_) _barbarously ill-treated_, naturally repels (_a_) (15 _a_) _one_."

(_a_) Write, either (1) "Collision ... causes a natural repulsion," or (2) "When brought into contact ... one is naturally repelled," or (if "ill-treatment" is emphatic), (3) "One is naturally repelled by collision with &c."

49. "We annex a letter recently addressed by Mr. ----'s direction to the Editor of the ----, in contradiction of statements, equally untrue, which appeared in that periodical, _and_ (_a_) (9) _which_ the editor has undertaken to insert in the next number.... I am sure that all must regret that statements _so_ (_b_) (51) _utterly_ erroneous should have (_c_) (23) _first_ appeared in a publication of such high character."

(_a_) What the writer intended to express was that the editor had undertaken to insert, not the "statements," but the "contradiction." (_b_) Omit either "so" or "utterly." (_c_) "appeared first," or, "for the first time."

50. "This is a book _which_ (10 _a_) _is_ short and amusing, _which_ (10 _a_) _can be easily_ (_a_) _understood, which_ (10 _a_) is admirably adapted for _the purpose for which it_ (_b_) _was_ (54) _written_; and (10 _e_) _which_ ought to be more popular than the last work _which_ (10 _a_) _was_ published by the same author."

(_a_) Express "which can be understood" in one adjective. (_b_) "Its purpose."

51. "When thousands are _left_ (19) without (40) _pity_ and without (40) _attention_ (19) _on_ a field of battle, amid (40) the insults of an enraged foe and (40) the trampling of horses, while the blood from their wounds, freezing as it flows, binds them to the earth, and (40) they are exposed to the piercing air, _it_ (15 _a_) _must be indeed a painful scene_."

The whole sentence must be remedied by (40).

52. "(_a_) The youth was naturally thoughtful, and disposed (19) besides by his early training--(31) which had been conducted with great care, the object of his parents being to _pave_ (14) _his way_ as far as possible over the _stormy_ (14) _sea of temptation_ and to _lead_ him into the _harbour_ of virtue--to a sincere (_b_) (1) _remorse_ (19) for the (_b_) (1) _crimes_ that he had committed in the sight of heaven, and also for his recent (_b_) (1) _sin_ in breaking the laws of his country."

(_a_) First state the reasons for his being "disposed." "The youth was naturally thoughtful; moreover, his early training had been conducted with great care by his parents, whose &c. .... He was therefore disposed &c." (_b_) What is the difference between "remorse" and "repentance," between "sin" and "crime"?

53. "(_a_) _One day_ (54) _early in the morning_, the general was approached by a messenger, (30) in the midst of the _entanglements and perplexities_ which had _unexpectedly surprised_ him, when the _perilous hour of_ (54) _danger_ was at hand, and (37), in spite of their promises, even the tribes that were _well disposed_ (54) _and friendly_, were threatening to _desert him, and_ (54) _leave him to face the enemy_ (_b_) (23) _alone_."

Condense the sentence by omitting some of the italicized words, _e.g._ (_a_) "Early one morning." (_b_) Though there is no real ambiguity (unless a wrong emphasis is placed on "enemy"), yet, in strictness, "alone" ought to qualify "enemy." Write therefore, "alone in the face of the enemy."

54. "_A man_ (_a_) (10 _d_) _who_ neglected the ordinary duties *of* life, and, immersed in study, devoted himself to grand plans for the benefit of mankind, (_b_) (44) _and_ refused to provide for the wants of those dependent on him, and suffered his aged relatives to become paupers because he would not help them, (_c_) would, in my opinion, (34) be a bad man, and not altogether (_d_) (40 _a_) without hypocrisy."

(_a_) "If a man." (_b_) "if he refused," or "while he refused." (_c_) "such a man" or "he." (_d_) "to some extent a hypocrite."

55. "I cannot believe in the guilt of (_a_) _one_ (_b_) (10 _e_) _who_, whatever may have been said to the contrary, can be shown, and has been shown by competent testimony proceeding from those who are said to have carefully examined the facts, _in spite_ (23) _of many obstacles_, to have resisted all attempts to (29) induce him to leave his situation, (_c_) (29) to consult his own interests and to (29) establish a business of his own."

(_a_) "his guilt;" (_b_) (1) "for, whatever &c.... it can be shown by &c.... that, in spite of &c., he resisted." Or (2) insert "in spite ... obstacles" between "have" and "carefully." (_c_) (1) "for the purpose of consulting ... and establishing." Or (2) write "and to consult his own interests by establishing &c."

56. "We must seek for the origin of our freedom, (_a_) (37) prosperity, and (_a_) (37) glory, in _that and only_ (_b_) _that_[18] portion of our annals, (30) though _it_ (_c_) _is_ sterile and obscure. The great English people was (_d_) _then_ formed; the notional (_e_) _disposition_ began (_d_) _then_ to exhibit those peculiarities which it has ever since (_e_) _possessed_; and our fathers (_d_) _then_ became emphatically islanders, (_f_) in their politics, (_a_) feelings, and (_a_) manners, _and_ (30 _a_) _not merely in their geographical position_."

(_a_) Repeat the Pronominal Adjective, (_b_) Express the emphatic "only that" by beginning the sentence thus: "It is in that portion of our annals &c." (_c_) Omit. (_d_) "It was then that &c." (_e_) Use words implying something more _marked_ than "disposition," and more _forcible_ than "possessed;" in the latter case, "retained." (_f_) Repeat "islanders."

57. "(_a_) He was _the universal_ (54) _favourite of_ (54) _all_ (8) _who knew him_, and cemented many friendships at this period, (_a_) (33) (moving in the highest circle of society, and, _as he_ (_b_) (50) _had a_ (4 _a_) _certain property, being independent_ of the profits of literature), and soon completely extinguished the breath of slander which at the outset of his career had threatened to sap the foundations of his reputation."

(_a_) Begin "Moving in &c." (_b_) "rendered independent of ... by &c." Show that Rule (14) is violated by the metaphors.

58. "The outward and material form of that city which, during the brief period _which_ (10 _a_) _is_ comprised in our present book, reached the highest pitch of military, artistic, and literary glory, _was of this_ (_a_) (15) _nature_. The progress of _the_ (_b_) (5) _first_ has been already traced."

(_a_) Begin the sentence with "Such was." (_b_) By "the first" is meant "military glory."

59. "The detachment not only failed to take the fort, (30) spite of their numbers and the weakness of the garrison, but also to capture the small force that was encamped outside the town, and was, after some sharp fighting, driven back with inconsiderable loss."

Point out the ambiguity. Remedy it by inserting either "which," or "the assailants."

60. "(_a_) (_b_) _Believing_ that these reforms can _only_ (_c_) (21) be effected as public opinion is prepared for them, and that (5) _this_ will be more or less advanced in different localities, the Bill of the Association, (_a_) (31) which has been for _a_ (3) _considerable period_ in draft, and will be introduced in the next Session of Parliament, provides for _placing_ (_d_) (3) _the control in regard to the points above-mentioned in the_ (3) _hands_ of the ratepayers of each locality; the power to be exercised through representative Licensing Boards to be periodically elected by them."

(_a_) Place the parenthesis first, as an independent sentence: "The Bill of the Association has been ... Parliament." (_b_) What noun is qualified by "believing?" Write "In the belief." (_c_) "effected only so far as they are in accordance with public opinion, which &c." (_d_) "it, or, the Bill provides that the ratepayers ... shall receive control ... and shall exercise this control."

61. "I think they are very (1) _nice_ persons, for they kept me amused for a _long_ (_a_) (11) _time together_ yesterday by their (1) _nice_ stories all about _what they_ (_b_) _have experienced_ in Japan, where they had been for (_a_) _ever so long_, and (_c_) (43) where they said that the natives ripped up _their_ (_d_) (5) stomachs."

(_a_) Mention some time. (_b_) "experiences" or "adventures." (_c_) "among other things, they told us &c." (_d_) "their own."

62. "To contend for advantageous monopolies, which are regarded with a dislike and a suspicion (_a_) _which daily_ (10 _a_) _increases_, (30) _however natural it may be to be annoyed at the loss of that which one has once possessed_, (15 _a_) is _useless_."

(_a_) A compound adjective can be used, including "daily."

63. "Upon entering the rustic place of entertainment to partake of some refreshment, my nerves were horrified by lighting on a number of boisterous individuals who were singing some species of harvest song, and simultaneously imbibing that cup which, if it cheers, also inebriates; and when, banished from their society by the fumes of the fragrant weed, I wended my way to the apartment which adjoined the one in which I had hoped to rest my weary limbs, I found an interesting assortment of the fairer sex, who were holding a separate confabulation apart from the revels of their rougher spouses."

Write "village inn," "next room," &c., for these absurd circumlocutions. See (3).

64. "When Burgoyne was born, in 1782, Napoleon and Wellington _were both boys_ (11)."

Napoleon studied at Brienne, Wellington at Eton. Mention this, and, in order to imply the _boyhood_, call Wellington "Arthur Wellesley."