Chapter 4

"This great and good man died on the 17th of September, 1683, leaving behind him the memory of many noble actions, and a numerous family, of whom three were sons; one of them, George, the eldest, heir to his father's virtues, as well as to his principal estates in Cumberland, where most of his father's property was situate, and shortly afterwards elected member for the county, which had for several generations returned this family to serve in Parliament." Here we have (1) the "great and good man," (2) "George," (3) "the county," disputing which is to be considered the principal subject. Two, if not three sentences should have been made, instead of one. Carefully avoid a long sentence like this, treating of many different subjects on one level. It is called _heterogeneous_.

*44. The connection between different sentences must be kept up by Adverbs used as Conjunctions, or by means of some other connecting words at the beginning of each sentence.*--Leave out the conjunctions and other connecting words, and it will be seen that the following sentences lose much of their meaning:--

"Pitt was in the army for a few months in time of peace. His biographer (_accordingly_) insists on our confessing, that, if the young cornet had remained in the service, he would have been one of the ablest commanders that ever lived. (_But_) this is not all. Pitt (, _it seems_,) was not merely a great poet _in esse_ and a great general _in posse_, but a finished example of moral excellence.... (_The truth is, that_) there scarcely ever lived a person who had so little claim to this sort of praise as Pitt. He was (_undoubtedly_) a great man. (_But_) his was not a complete and well-proportioned greatness. The public life of Hampden or of Somers resembles a regular drama which can be criticised as a whole, and every scene of which is to be viewed in connection with the main action. The public life of Pitt (, _on the other hand_,) is," &c.

The following are some of the most common connecting adverbs, or connecting phrases: (1) expressing consequence, similarity, repetition, or resumption of a subject--_accordingly_, _therefore_, _then_, _naturally_, _so that_, _thus_, _in this way_, _again_, _once more_, _to resume_, _to continue_, _to sum up_, _in fact_, _upon this_; (2) expressing opposition--_nevertheless_, _in spite of this_, _yet_, _still_, _however_, _but_, _on the contrary_, _on the other hand_; (3) expressing suspension--_undoubtedly ... but_; _indeed ... yet_; _on the one hand ... on the other_; _partly ... partly_; _some ... others_.

Avoid a style like that of Bishop Burnet, which strings together a number of sentences with "and" or "so," or with no conjunction at all:

"Blake with the fleet happened to be at Malaga, before he made war upon Spain; _and_ some of his seamen went ashore, _and_ met the Host carried about; _and_ not only paid no respect to it, but laughed at those who did." Write "_When_ Blake &c."

*45. The connection between two long sentences sometimes requires a short intervening sentence, showing the transition of thought.*

"Without force or opposition, it (chivalry) subdued the fierceness of pride and power; it obliged sovereigns to submit to the soft collar[16] of social esteem, compelled stern authority to submit to elegance, and gave a dominating vanquisher of laws to be subdued by manners. But now (_all is to be changed_:) all the pleasing illusions which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason." If the words italicized were omitted, the transition would be too abrupt: the conjunction _but_ alone would be insufficient.

FOOTNOTES:

[5] _For_, at the beginning of a sentence, sometimes causes temporary doubt, while the reader is finding out whether it is used as a conjunction or preposition.

[6] _It_ should refer (1) either to the Noun immediately preceding, or (2) to some Noun superior to all intervening Nouns in emphasis. See (25).

[7] So useful that, on mature consideration, I am disposed to adopt "that" here and in several of the following exceptional cases.

[8] Of course "and which" may be used where "which" precedes.

[9] "That which," where _that_ is an _object_, _e.g._ "then (set forth) _that which_ is worse," _St. John_ ii. 10, is rare in modern English.

[10] Sometimes the emphatic Adverb comes at the beginning, and causes the transposition of an Auxiliary Verb, "_Gladly_ do I consent."

[11] Of course punctuation will remove the ambiguity; but it is better to express oneself clearly, as far as possible, independently of punctuation.

[12] Professor Bain.

[13] See (30).

[14] The repetition of Auxiliary Verbs and Pronominal Adjectives is also conducive to clearness.

[15] Professor Bain says: "In the epigram the mind is roused by a conflict or contradiction between the form of the language and the meaning really conveyed."

[16] This metaphor is not recommended for imitation.

* * * * *

BREVITY.

*46. Metaphor is briefer than literal statement.* See (13).

"The cares and responsibilities of a sovereign often disturb his sleep," is not so brief as "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," where the effect of care on the mind is assimilated to the effect of a heavy crown pressing on the head.

*47. General terms are briefer, though less forcible, than particular terms.* Thus: "He devours _literature_, no matter of what kind," is shorter than, "Novels or sermons, poems or histories, no matter what, he devours them all."

*47 a. A phrase may be expressed by a word.*

"These impressions _can never be forgotten_, i.e. are _indelible_."

"The style of this book is _of such a nature that it cannot be understood_, i.e. _unintelligible_."

The words "of such a nature that" are often unnecessarily inserted. See the extract from Sir Archibald Alison.

*48. Participles can often be used as brief (though sometimes ambiguous) equivalents of phrases containing Conjunctions and Verbs.*

"Hearing (when he heard) this, he advanced." See (7) for more instances. So "phrases _containing_ conjunctions" means "phrases _that contain_ conjunctions." "_This done_, (for, _when this was done_) he retired."

Sometimes the participle "being" is omitted. "France at our doors, he sees no danger nigh," for "France being" or "though France is."

*49. Participles and participial adjectives may be used like Adjectives, as equivalents for phrases containing the Relative.*

"The never-_ceasing_ wind," "the _clamouring_ ocean," "the _drenching_ rain," are instances. The licence of inventing participial adjectives by adding _-ing_ to a noun, is almost restricted to poetry. You could not write "the _crannying_ wind" in prose.

*50. A statement may sometimes be briefly implied instead of being expressed at length.* Thus, instead of "The spirit of Christianity was humanizing, and therefore &c.," or "Christianity, since it was (or being) of a humanizing spirit, discouraged &c.," we can write more briefly and effectively, "Gladiatorial shows were first discouraged, and finally put down, by the _humanizing spirit of Christianity_." So instead of "The nature of youth is thoughtless and sanguine, and therefore &c.," we can write, "The danger of the voyage was depreciated and the beauty of the island exaggerated by _the thoughtless nature of youth_."

Sometimes a mere name or epithet implies a statement. "It was in vain that he offered the Swiss terms: war was deliberately preferred by the _hardy mountaineers_," _i.e._ "by the Swiss, _because they were mountaineers and hardy_." "The deed was applauded by all honest men, but the Government affected to treat it as murder, and set a price upon the head of (him whom they called) the _assassin." "The conqueror of Austerlitz_ might be expected to hold different language from _the prisoner of St. Helena_," _i.e._ "Napoleon when elated by the victory of Austerlitz," and "Napoleon when depressed by his imprisonment at St. Helena."

CAUTION.--Different names must not be used for the same person unless each of them derives an appropriateness from its context. Thus, if we are writing about Charles II., it would be in very bad taste to avoid repeating "he" by using such periphrases as the following: "The third of the Stewarts hated business," "the Merry Monarch died in the fifty-fourth year of his age," &c.

*51. Conjunctions may be omitted.* The omission gives a certain forcible abruptness, _e.g._ "You say this: I (on the other hand) deny it."

When sentences are short, as in Macaulay's writings, conjunctions may be advantageously omitted.

Where a contrast is intended, the conjunction _but_ usually prepares the way for the second of the two contrasted terms: "He is good _but_ dull." Where _and_ is used instead of _but_, the incongruity savours of epigram: "He always talks truthfully _and_ prosily." "He is always amusing _and_ false."

*51 a. The Imperative Mood may be used for "if."*

"_Strip_ (for, _if you strip_) Virtue of the awful authority she derives from the general reverence of mankind, and you rob her of half her majesty."

*52. Apposition may be used so as to convert two sentences into one.*

"We called at the house of a person to whom we had letters of introduction, _a musician_, and, what is more, a _good friend_ to all young students of music." This is as clear as, and briefer than, "He was a musician, &c."

*53. Condensation may be effected by not repeating (1) the common subject of several verbs, (2) the common object of several verbs or prepositions.*

(1) "He resided here for many years, and, after he had won the esteem of all the citizens, (_he_) died," &c. So, (2) "He came to, and was induced to reside in, this city," is shorter than "He came to this city, and was induced to reside in it."

Such condensation often causes obscurity, and, even where there is no obscurity, there is a certain harshness in pausing on light, unemphatic words, such as _to_, _in_, &c., as in the first example.

*54. Tautology.*--The fault of repeating the same word several times unnecessarily is called _tautology_, e.g.:

"This is a painful _circumstance_; it is a _circumstance_ that I much _regret_, and he also will much _regret_ the _circumstance_." But the fault is not to be avoided by using different words to mean the same thing, as, "This is a painful _event_; it is a _circumstance_ that I _much regret_, and he also will _greatly lament_ the _occurrence_." The true remedy is to arrange the words in such a manner that there may be no unnecessary repetition, thus: "This is a painful circumstance, a circumstance that causes me, and will cause him, deep regret."

The repetition of the same meaning in slightly different words is a worse fault than the repetition of the same word. See, for examples, the extract from Sir Archibald Alison, at the end of the book. Thus "_A burning thirst_ for conquests is a characteristic of this nation. It is an _ardent passion_ that &c." Other instances are--"The _universal_ opinion of _all_ men;" "His judgment is so _infallible_ that it is _never deceived_," &c.

*55. Parenthesis may be used with advantage to brevity.*

"We are all (and who would not be?) offended at the treatment we have received," is shorter and more forcible than the sentence would have been if the parenthesis had been appended in a separate sentence: "Who, indeed, would not be offended?"

Extreme care must, however, be taken that a parenthesis may not obscure the meaning of a long sentence.

*56. Caution: let clearness be the first consideration.* It is best, at all events for beginners, not to aim so much at being brief, or forcible, as at being perfectly clear. Horace says, "While I take pains to be brief, I fall into obscurity," and it may easily be seen that several of the rules for brevity interfere with the rules for clearness.

Forcible style springs from (1) vividness and (2) exactness of thought, and from a corresponding (1) vividness and (2) exactness in the use of words.

(1) When you are describing anything, endeavour to _see_ it and describe it as you see it. If you are writing about a man who was killed, _see_ the man before you, and ask, was he _executed_, _cut down_, _run through the body_, _butchered_, _shot_, or _hanged_? If you are writing about the capture of a city, was the city _stormed_, _surprised_, _surrendered_, _starved out_, or _demolished before surrender_? Was an army _repelled_, _defeated_, _routed_, _crushed_, or _annihilated_?

(2) Exactness in the use of words requires an exact knowledge of their meanings and differences. This is a study by itself, and cannot be discussed here.[17]

FOOTNOTES:

[17] See _English Lessons for English People_, pp. 1-53.

EXERCISES

_For an explanation of the manner in which these Exercises are intended to be used, see the Preface._

_A number in brackets by itself, or followed by a letter,_ e.g. _(43), (40 a), refers to the Rules._

_Letters_ by themselves _in brackets_, e.g. _(b), refer to the explanations or hints appended to each sentence._

_N.B..--(10 a) refers to the first section of Rule (10); (10 a') to the Rule following Rule (10)._

1. "Pleasure and excitement had more attractions for him _than_ (_a_) (36) (37 _a_) _his friend_, and the two companions became estranged (15 _a_) _gradually_."

(_a_) Write (1) "than for his friend," or (2) "than had his friend," "had more attractions than his friend."

2. "(_a_) He soon grew tired of solitude even in that beautiful scenery, (36) the pleasures of the retirement (8) _which_ he had once pined for, and (36) leisure which he could use to no good purpose, (_a_) (30) _being_ (15) _restless by nature_."

(_a_) This sentence naturally stops at "purpose." Also "being restless" seems (wrongly) to give the reason why "leisure" could not be employed. Begin "Restless by nature...."

3. "The opponents of the Government are naturally, and not (_a_) (40 _a_) _without justification_, elated at the failure of the bold attempt to return two supporters of the Government at the recent election, (_b_) (10 _a'_) _which_ is certainly to be regretted."

(_a_) "unjustifiably." (_b_) Write, for "which," either (1) "an attempt that &c.," or (2) "a failure that &c."

4. "Carelessness in the Admiralty departments has co-operated with Nature to weaken the moral power of a Government that particularly needs to be thought efficient in (_a_) (5) _this_ _respect_, (_b_) (29) _to_ counterbalance a general distrust of its excessive _desire_ (_c_) (47 _a_) _to please everybody_ in Foreign Affairs."

(_a_) Write "the Navy." (_b_) Instead of "to" write "in order to," so as to distinguish the different infinitives, (_c_) "obsequiousness."

5. "(_a_) He was sometimes supported by Austria, who, oddly enough, appears under Count Beust to have been more friendly to Italy _than_ (37 _a_) _France_, (30) _in this line of action_."

(_a_) Begin with "In this line of action." Why? (_b_) Write "than was France" or "than France was."

6. "There was something so startling in (_a_) (5) _this_ assertion, (_a_) (4) _that_ the discoveries of previous investigators were to be (_b_) (47 _a_) _treated as though they had never been made_, and (4) _that one who had not yet_ (47 _a_) _attained the age of manhood_ had superseded the grey-headed philosophers (8) _who_ had for centuries patiently sought after the truth, (4) _that_ (_a_) (5) _it_ naturally provoked derision."

(_a_) "This," "that," and "it," cause a little perplexity. Write "The startling assertion that the discoveries...." (_b_) "ignored." (_c_) "a mere youth," "a mere stripling."

7. "One of the recommendations (_on which very_ (_a_) (26) (47, _a_) _much depended_) of the Commission was that a council in each province should establish smaller councils, each to have the oversight of a small district, and (_b_) (37) report to a central council on the state of Education in (_c_) (5) it."

(_a_) Write "cardinal recommendations." Derive "cardinal." (_b_) Write, either (1) "and should report," or (2) "and to report." (_c_) Write "in its province," or "district."

8. "At this (_a_) (1) _period_ an (_b_) (11) _event_ (_c_) (1) _transpired_ that destroyed the last hopes of peace. The king fell from his horse and died two hours after the fall (_d_) (30), _which was occasioned by his horse's stumbling on a mole-hill, while he was on his return from reviewing his soldiers_."

(_a_) What is a "period"? (_b_) Express the particular kind of event ("accident"). (_c_) What is the meaning of "transpired"? (_d_) Transpose thus: "While the king was on his return ... his horse ...; the king fell and &c." The cause should precede the effect.

9. "He determined (_c_) on selling all his estates, and, as soon as this was done (40 _a_), _to_ (_c_) _quit_ the country, (_a_) (33) believing that his honour demanded this sacrifice and (40) (40 _a_) _in_ (_b_) _the_ hope of satisfying his creditors."

(_a_) Begin with "Believing that &c." (_b_) "hoping thereby to satisfy &c." (_c_) "to sell" or "on quitting.".

10. "He read patiently on, Leading Articles, Foreign Correspondence, Money Article and all; (_a_) (43) during which his father fell asleep, and he (_b_) went in search of his sister."

Point out the absurdity of "during which" applied to the last part of the sentence. (_a_) "Meanwhile." (_b_) Insert "then."

11. "The general was quite (_a_) (1) _conscious_ (40 _a_) _how_ treacherous were the intentions of _those who were_ (_b_) (49) _entertaining_ him, and (40 _a_) _of the_ dangers from which he had _escaped_ (15) _lately_."

(_a_) Distinguish between "conscious" and "aware." _(b_) "entertainers."

12. "If _certain_ (_a_) (11) _books_ had been published a hundred years ago, there can be no doubt that _certain recent_ (_b_) (11) _historians_ would have made great use of them. But it _would_ (_c_) (15 _b_) _not_, on that account, be judicious in a writer of our own times to publish an edition of the works of _one of these_ (_b_) (11) _historians_, in which large extracts from these books should be incorporated with the original text."

(_a_) "Mrs. Hutchinson's Memoirs." (_b_) "Mr. Hume." (_c_) Add at the end of the sentence, "Surely not."

13. "He made no attempt to get up a petition, (32) though he did not like the new representative quite so well _as_ (_a_) (37 _a_) _his colleagues_."

(_a_) "as did his colleagues" or "as he liked his colleagues."

14. "Though he was (_a_) (15) _obstinate_ and (15) _unprincipled_, yet he could not face an angered father (15 _a_) _in spite of his effrontery_."

(_a_) Begin with "Obstinate."

15. "He was known to his country neighbours (_a_) (15) _during more than forty years_ as a gentleman of cultivated mind, (40 _a_) _whose principles were high_, (40 _a_) _with polished address_, happy in his family, and (_b_) (40 _a_) _actively_ discharging local duties; and (40 _a_) _among_ political men, as an honest, industrious, and sensible member of Parliament, (40 a) _without_ (_c_) _eagerness_ to display his talents, (40 _a_) _who_ (10 _g_) _was_ stanch to his party, and attentive to the interests of _those whose_ (_d_) (47 _a_) _representative he was_."

(_a_) "During more &c.," is emphatic, and affects the latter as well as the former half of the sentence: hence it should stand first. (_b_) "in the discharge of." (_c_) "not eager." (_d_) Condense into one word.

16. "The poor think themselves no more disgraced by taking bribes at elections _than_ (_a_) (37 _a_) _the rich_ by offering them."

(_a_) Write (1) "Than the rich think themselves disgraced," or (2) "Than they think the rich disgraced."

17. "We are told that the Sultan Mahmoud, by his perpetual wars, (_a_) (41) and his tyranny, (_a_) (41) had filled his dominions with (_b_) (1) _misfortune and_ (_c_) (11) _calamity_, and _greatly_ (_d_) (11) _diminished_ the population of the Persian Empire. _This great Sultan had_ (_e_) (50) _a Vizier_. _We are not_ (_f_) (55) (15) _informed_ whether he was a humorist or an enthusiast, (_g_) _but he_ pretended (_h_) that he had learned from (_i_) (11) _some one_ how to understand the language of birds, so that _he_ (_j_) (5) knew what was said by any bird that opened its mouth. (_k_) (44) One evening he was with the Sultan, returning from hunting. They saw a couple of owls _which_ (10 _g_) _were_ sitting upon a tree (_l_) (8) _which_ grew near an old wall out of a heap of rubbish. The Sultan said (6) he should like to know what the two owls were saying to one another, _and asked the_ (_m_) _Vizier to_ listen to their discourse and give him an account of it. The Vizier, (_n_) (31) pretending to be very attentive to the owls, approached the tree. He (_o_) returned to the Sultan and said that (6) he had heard part of their conversation, but did not wish to tell him what it was. (_p_) (5) _He_, not (_q_) (31) being satisfied with this answer, forced him to repeat everything the owls had said (20) _exactly_. (_r_) (44) (5) (6) _He_ told (5) _him_ that the owls were arranging a treaty of marriage between their children, and that one of them, after agreeing to settle five hundred villages upon the female owl, had prayed (6) that God would grant a long life to Sultan Mahmoud, because as long as he reigned over them they would never want ruined villages. The story says (_s_) _that_ (_t_) (5) _he_ was touched with the fable, (30) and (_s_) _that_ he (_a_) (39) from that time forward _consulted_ (15) _the good of his people_, and that he rebuilt the towns and villages (_v_) _which_ had been destroyed."

(_a_) "abroad ... at home." (_b_) "ruin." (_c_) "desolation." (_d_) "half unpeopled." (_e_) "The Vizier of &c." (_f_) "We are not informed" is emphatic, and therefore should be inverted, "whether he was, &c., we are not informed." (_g_) "but he" will be omitted when "the Vizier" is made the subject of "pretended." (_h_) "Pretended" once meant "claimed," "professed." Write "professed." (_i_) "a certain dervish." (_j_) Introduce a new subject that you may substitute "Vizier" for "he," thus: "so that not a bird could open its mouth, but the Vizier knew &c." (_k_) "As he was, one evening, &c." (_l_) Note that the tree is represented as growing out of _ruins_. This is in accordance with the story of the mischief Mahmoud had done. (_m_) Omit this. (_n_) "Suspense" is out of place in a simple narrative like this; the sentence therefore ends with "owls." (_o_) "Upon his return." (_p_) "The Sultan" (_q_) "would not be satisfied." (_r_) "You must know then, &c." (_s_) Omit. (_t_) "so touched ... that." (_u_) end with "people." (_v_) Addison here uses "_which_" probably because of the preceding "that." We have to choose between sound and clearness. "Which" implies that _all_ the villages in the country had been destroyed, whereas the country had been only (see above) "_half_ unpeopled."

18. "Though this great king never permitted any pastime to interfere with the duties of state, which he considered to be _superior to_ (54) _all other claims and of paramount importance_, and (_a_) (37) kept himself so far under control that he allowed no one pursuit or amusement to run to any excess, yet he _took_ (54) _great pleasure in_ the chase, _of which he was_ (_b_) (2) _excessively_ (54) _fond_, and for the purposes of which he created several _large_ parks _of considerable_ (54) _magnitude_."

(_a_) Either repeat "though," or else strikeout the first "though" and begin a new sentence after "excess." (_b_) Point out the contradiction between "excessively" and what precedes.