letter X? Because she is never in-consolable!
What kind of a cat may be found in every library? Cat-alogue.
Why is an orange like a church steeple? Because we have a peel from it.
Why is the tolling of a bell like the prayer of a hypocrite? Because it's a solemn sound from a thoughtless tongue.
'Twas Christmas-time, and my nice _first_ (Well suited to the season) Had been well served, and well enjoyed-- Of course I mean in reason.
And then a game of merry sort My _second_ made full many do; One player, nimbler than the rest, Caught sometimes one and sometimes two.
She was a merry, laughing wench, And to the sport gave life and soul; Though maiden dames, and older folk, Declared her manners were my _whole_.
Flip-pant.
What moral sentence does a weathercock suggest? "It's a vane thing to aspire."
Give the positive, comparative, and superlative degrees of the adjective solemn, with illustrations of the meaning of the word? Solemn, being married: solemner, not being able to get married; solemnest, wanting to be un-married when you are married.
Give the positive, comparative, and superlative degrees of getting on in the world? Get on; get honor; get honest.
Sir Kenneth rode forth from his castle gate, On a prancing steed rode he; He was my _first_ of large estate, And he went the Lady Ellen to see.
The Lady Ellen had been wedded five years, And a goodly wife proved she; She'd a lovely boy, and a lovelier girl, And they sported upon their mother's knee.
At what period of his sorrow does a widower recover the loss of his dear departed? When he re-wives!
What would be a good motto to put up at the entrance of a cemetery? "Here lie the dead, and here the living lie!"
Why, asks a disconsolate widow, is venison like my late and never sufficiently-to-be-lamented husband? Because--oh, dear! oh, dear!--it's the dear departed!
[THE END.]
USEFUL AND INSTRUCTIVE BOOKS.
HOW TO BECOME AN ENGINEER--Containing full instructions how to proceed in order to become a locomotive engineer; also directions for building a model locomotive; together with a full description of everything an engineer should know. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or we will send it to you, postage free, upon receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO BECOME A NAVAL CADET--Complete instructions of how to gain admission to the Annapolis Naval Academy. Also containing the course of instructions, descriptions of grounds and buildings, historical sketch, and everything a boy should know to become an officer in the United States Navy. Compiled and written by Lu Senarens, Author of "How to Become a West Point Military Cadet." Price 10 cents. For sale by every newsdealer in the United States and Canada, or will be sent to your address, post-paid, on receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO DO CHEMICAL TRICKS--Containing over one hundred highly amusing and instructive tricks with chemicals. By A. Anderson. Handsomely illustrated. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or sent post-paid, upon receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, Publisher, New York.
HOW TO MAKE MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS--Full directions how to make a Banjo, Violin, Zither, Æolian Harp, Xylophone and other musical instruments, together with a brief description of nearly every musical instrument used in ancient or modern times. Profusely illustrated. By Algernon S. Fitzgerald, for 20 years bandmaster of the Royal Bengal Marines. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or we will send it to your address, postpaid, on receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
MULDOON'S JOKES--This is one of the most original joke books ever published, and it is brimful of wit and humor. It contains a large collection of songs, jokes, conundrums, etc., of Terrence Muldoon, the great wit, humorist, and practical joker of the day. We offer this amusing book, together with the picture of "Muldoon," for the small sum of 10 cents. Every boy who can enjoy a good substantial joke should obtain a copy immediately. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO KEEP AND MANAGE PETS--Giving complete information as to the manner and method of raising, keeping, taming, breeding, and managing all kinds of pets; also giving full instructions for making cages, etc. Fully explained by 28 illustrations, making it the most complete book of the kind ever published. Price 10 cents. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO DO ELECTRICAL TRICKS.--Containing a large collection of instructive and highly amusing electrical tricks, together with illustrations. By A. Anderson. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or sent, post-paid, upon receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, Publisher, New York.
HOW TO WRITE LETTERS--A wonderful little book, telling you how to write to your sweetheart, your father, mother, sister, brother, employer; and, in fact, everybody and anybody you wish to write to. Every young man and every young lady in the land should have this book. It is for sale by all newsdealers. Price 10 cents, or sent from this office on receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO DO PUZZLES--Containing over 300 interesting puzzles and conundrums with key to same. A complete book. Fully illustrated. By A. Anderson. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or sent, post-paid, upon receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, Publisher, New York.
HOW TO DO 40 TRICKS WITH CARDS--Containing deceptive Card Tricks as performed by leading conjurers and magicians. Arranged for home amusement. Fully illustrated. Price 10 cents. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO MAKE A MAGIC LANTERN--Containing a description of the lantern, together with its history and invention. Also full directions for its use and for painting slides. Handsomely illustrated, by John Allen. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers in the United States and Canada, or will be sent to your address, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO BECOME AN ACTOR--Containing complete instructions how to make up for various characters on the stage; together with the duties of the Stage Manager, Prompter, Scenic Artist and Property Man. By a prominent Stage Manager. Price 10 cents. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, N. Y.
HOW TO DO THE BLACK ART--Containing a complete description at the mysteries of Magic and Sleight-of-Hand, together with many wonderful experiments. By A. Anderson. Illustrated. Price 10 cents. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, N. Y.
HOW TO BE A DETECTIVE--By Old King Brady, the world known detective. In which he lays down some valuable and sensible rules for beginners, and also relates some adventures and experiences of well-known detectives. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers in the United States and Canada, or sent to your address, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO BECOME A CONJURER--Containing tricks with Dominoes, Dice, Cups and Balls, Hats, etc. Embracing 36 illustrations. By A. Anderson. Price 10 cents. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO DO MECHANICAL TRICKS--Containing complete instructions for performing over sixty Mechanical Tricks. By A. Anderson. Fully illustrated. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or we will send it by mail, postage free, upon receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, Publisher, N. Y.
HOW TO DO SIXTY TRICKS WITH CARDS--Embracing all of the latest and most deceptive card tricks with illustrations. By A. Anderson. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers, or we will send it to you by mail, postage free, upon receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, Publisher, N. Y.
HOW TO MAKE ELECTRICAL MACHINES--Containing full directions for making electrical machines, induction coils, dynamos, and many novel toys to be worked by electricity. By R. A. R. Bennett. Fully illustrated. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers in the United States and Canada, or will be sent to your address, post-paid, on receipt of price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
HOW TO BECOME A BOWLER--A complete manual of bowling. Containing full instructions for playing all the standard American and German games, together with rules and systems of sporting in use by the principal bowling clubs in the United States. By Bartholomew Batterson. Price 10 cents. For sale by all newsdealers in the United States and Canada, or sent to your address, postage free, on receipt of the price. Address Frank Tousey, publisher, New York.
THE LARGEST AND BEST LIBRARY.
PLUCK AND LUCK.
Colored Covers. 32 Pages. All Kinds of Good Stories. Price 5 Cents. Issued Weekly. Read List Below.
No.
1 Dick Decker, the Brave Young Fireman by Ex Fire Chief Warden
2 The Two Boy Brokers; or, From Messenger Boys to Millionaires by a Retired Banker
3 Little Lou, the Pride of the Continental Army. A Story of the American Revolution by General Jas. A. Gordon
4 Railroad Ralph, the Boy Engineer by Jas. C. Merritt
5 The Boy Pilot of Lake Michigan by Capt. Thos. H. Wilson
6 Joe Wiley, the Young Temperance Lecturer by Jno. B. Dowd
7 The Little Swamp Fox. A Tale of General Marion and His Men by General Jas. A. Gordon
8 Young Grizzly Adams, the Wild Beast Tamer. A True Story of Circus Life by Hal Standish
9 North Pole Nat; or, The Secret of the Frozen Deep by Capt. Thos. H. Wilson
10 Little Deadshot, the Pride of the Trappers by An Old Scout
11 Liberty Hose; or, The Pride of Plattsvill by Ex Fire Chief Warden
12 Engineer Steve, the Prince of the Rail by Jas. C. Merritt
13 Whistling Walt, the Champion Spy. A Story of the American Revolution by General Jas. A. Gordon
14 Lost in the Air; or, Over Land and Sea by Allyn Draper
15 The Little Demon; or, Plotting Against the Czar by Howard Austin
16 Fred Farrell, the Barkeeper's Son by Jno. B. Dowd
17 Slippery Steve, the Cunning Spy of the Revolution by General Jas. A. Gordon
18 Fred Flame, the Hero of Greystone No. 1 by Ex Fire Chief Warden
19 Harry Dare; or, A New York Boy in the Navy by Col. Ralph Fenton
20 Jack Quick, the Boy Engineer by Jas. C. Merritt
21 Doublequick, the King Harpooner; or, The Wonder of the Whalers by Capt. Thos. H. Wilson
22 Rattling Rube, the Jolly Scout and Spy. A Story of the Revolution by General Jas. A. Gordon
23 In the Czar's Service; or Dick Sherman in Russia by Howard Austin
24 Ben o' the Bowl; or The Road to Ruin by Jno. B. Dowd
25 Kit Carson, the King of Scouts by an Old Scout
26 The School Boy Explorers; or Among the Ruins of Yucatan by Howard Austin
27 The Wide Awakes; or, Burke Halliday, the Pride of the Volunteers by Ex Fire Chief Warden
28 The Frozen Deep; or Two Years in the Ice by Capt. Thos. H. Wilson
29 The Swamp Rats; or, The Boys Who Fought for Washington by Gen. Jas. A. Gordon
30 Around the World on Cheek by Howard Austin
31 Bushwhacker Ben; or, The Union Boys of Tennessee by Col. Ralph Fent
For sale by all newsdealers, or sent to any address on receipt of price, 5 cents per copy--6 copies for 25 cents. Address
FRANK TOUSEY, Publisher, 24 UNION SQUARE, NEW YORK.
OUR TEN CENT HAND BOOKS.
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Containing valuable information on almost every subject, such as =Writing=, =Speaking=, =Dancing=, =Cooking=; also =Rules of Etiquette=, =The Art of Ventriloquism=, =Gymnastic Exercises=, and =The Science of Self-Defense=, =etc.=, =etc.=
1 Napoleon's Oraculum and Dream Book.
2 How to Do Tricks.
3 How to Flirt.
4 How to Dance.
5 How to Make Love.
6 How to Become an Athlete.
7 How to Keep Birds.
8 How to Become a Scientist.
9 How to Become a Ventriloquist.
10 How to Box.
11 How to Write Love Letters.
12 How to Write Letters to Ladies.
13 How to Do It; or, Book of Etiquette.
14 How to Make Candy.
15 How to Become Rich.
16 How to Keep a Window Garden.
17 How to Dress.
18 How to Become Beautiful.
19 Frank Tousey's U. S. Distance Tables, Pocket Companion and Guide.
20 How to Entertain an Evening Party.
21 How to Hunt and Fish.
22 How to Do Second Sight.
23 How to Explain Dreams.
24 How to Write Letters to Gentlemen.
25 How to Become a Gymnast.
26 How to Row, Sail and Build a Boat.
27 How to Recite and Book of Recitations.
28 How to Tell Fortunes.
29 How to Become an Inventor.
30 How to Cook.
31 How to Become a Speaker.
32 How to Ride a Bicycle.
33 How to Behave.
34 How to Fence.
35 How to Play Games.
36 How to Solve Conundrums.
37 How to Keep House.
38 How to Become Your Own Doctor.
39 How to Raise Dogs, Poultry, Pigeons and Rabbits.
40 How to Make and Set Traps.
41 The Boys of New York End Men's Joke Book.
42 The Boys of New York Stump Speaker.
43 How to Become a Magician.
44 How to Write in an Album.
45 The Boys of New York Minstrel Guide and Joke Book.
46 How to Make and Use Electricity.
47 How to Break, Ride and Drive a Horse.
48 How to Build and Sail Canoes.
49 How to Debate.
50 How to Stuff Birds and Animals.
51 How to Do Tricks with Cards.
52 How to Play Cards.
53 How to Write Letters.
54 How to Keep and Manage Pets.
55 How to Collect Stamps and Coins.
56 How to Become an Engineer.
57 How to Make Musical Instruments.
58 How to Become a Detective.
59 How to Make a Maple Lantern.
60 How to Become a Photographer.
61 How to Become a Bowler.
62 How to Become a West Point Military Cadet.
63 How to Become a Naval Cadet.
64 How to Make Electrical Machines.
65 Muldoon's Jokes.
66 How to Do Puzzles.
67 How to Do Electrical Tricks.
68 How to Do Chemical Tricks.
69 How to Do Sleight of Hand.
70 How to Make Magic Toys.
71 How to Do Mechanical Tricks.
72 How to Do Sixty Tricks with Cards.
73 How to Do Tricks with Numbers.
74 How to Write Letters Correctly.
75 How to Become a Conjuror.
76 How to Tell Fortunes by the Hand.
77 How to Do Forty Tricks with Cards.
78 How to Do the Black Art.
79 How to Become an Actor.
80 Gus Williams' Joke Book.
All the above books are for sale by newsdealers throughout the United States and Canada, or they will be sent, post-paid, to your address, on receipt of 10c. each.
_Send Your Name and Address for Our Latest Illustrated Catalogue._
FRANK TOUSEY, Publisher, 24 UNION SQUARE, NEW YORK.
Transcriber's Note:
Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as possible.
The format used for fractions in the original, where 1 1-4 represents 1¼, has been retained.
Many of the riddles are repeated, and some of the punch lines to the rhymes are missing.
Italic text has been marked with _underscores_. Bold text has been marked with =equals signs=.
The following is a list of changes made to the original. The first line is the original line, the second the corrected one.
Page 3:
By making making man's laughter man-slaughter! By making man's laughter man-slaughter!
Page 5:
Because it isn't fit for use till its broken. Because it isn't fit for use till it's broken.
Page 6:
Because they nose (knows) everything? Because they nose (knows) everything.
Page 8:
A sweet thing in bric-a-bric--An Egyptian molasses-jug. A sweet thing in bric-a-brac--An Egyptian molasses-jug.
Page 11:
What Island would form a cheerful luncheon party? What Islands would form a cheerful luncheon party?
Page 16:
Why is a palm-tree like chronology, because it furnishes dates. Why is a palm-tree like chronology? Because it furnishes dates.
Page 19:
A thing to a adore (door)--The knob. A thing to adore (a door)--The knob.
Short-sighted policy--wearing spectacles. Short-sighted policy--Wearing spectacles.
Page 22:
Why is is a fretful man like a hard-baked loaf? Why is a fretful man like a hard-baked loaf?
Page 24:
Why are certain Member's speeches in the _Times_ like a brick wall? Why are certain Members' speeches in the _Times_ like a brick wall?
Page 25:
offer his heart in payment to his landladyz Because it is rent. offer his heart in payment to his landlady? Because it is rent.
Page 26:
Why is a boiled herring like a rotton potato? Why is a boiled herring like a rotten potato?
Why is my servant Betsy like a race-course. Why is my servant Betsy like a race-course?
Because there a stir-up (stirrup) on both sides. Because there's a stir-up (stirrup) on both sides.
Page 30:
and all its guns on board, weigh just before starting on a cruse? and all its guns on board, weigh just before starting on a cruise?
Page 38:
One makes acorns, the other--make corns ache. One makes acorns, the other--makes corns ache.
Because of his parafins (pair o' fins). Because of his paraffins (pair o' fins).
We beg leave to ax you which of a carpenter's tool is coffee-like? We beg leave to ax you which of a carpenter's tools is coffee-like?
Page 40:
What is it gives a cold, cures a cold, and pays the doctor's bill. What is it gives a cold, cures a cold, and pays the doctor's bill?
Page 41:
In two little minutes the door to you. In two little minutes the door to you."
take away my second lettler, there is no apparent alteration take away my second letter, there is no apparent alteration
Why is a new-born baby like storm? Why is a new-born baby like a storm?
Page 48:
Do you re-ember ever to have heard what the embers of the expiring Do you rem-ember ever to have heard what the embers of the expiring
Page 52:
What's the difference between a speciman of plated goods and What's the difference between a specimen of plated goods and
Page 53:
Now, see who'll be first to reply: Now, see who'll be first to reply:"
Page 56:
when he was quizzed about the gorilla?" Because his monkey was up! when he was quizzed about the gorilla? Because his monkey was up!
Page 58:
the other turns his quartz into gold? the other turns his quartz into gold!
When it's (s) ticking there. When it's (s)ticking there.