CHAPTER V. SOME UNFAILING METHODS.

It is universally known that when a man and woman have a mutual interest, they get interested in each other. When they are in any way drawn together, they soon find that they cannot live apart. When a man grows accustomed to a woman with whom he is pleased, he desires to keep her with him. So we may consider that a companionship with a man is an unfailing way to win him. This companionship unfortunately is not always easy to arrange.

It is often difficult to get up a mutual interest. When you can, be sure to do so. It must come naturally however. A forced arrangement, plainly seen, would defeat itself.

Marriages frequently take place between parties who board in the same house. Seeing each other daily, getting well acquainted, and the mutual interest, even of the table, will draw them together. A young lady boarded, with her brother, in a house where there were no other young ladies, but a number of gentlemen. All admired her, several were smitten with her, and two asked her hand in marriage. A third began to think more of her than of the girl to whom he was engaged.

A widow, with a nice home of her own, took two clergymen to board. It was not long before both wanted to marry her. She did not want either of them, but took the one who was the most persistent.

Singing together is another mutual interest. It is the means of many a marriage. In a quartette, the soprano and tenor marry, the bass and alto. The singer may marry his accompanist. Jennie Lind married her unknown pianist, Goldschmidt, who was younger than herself. Actors, who are always thrown much together, marry and unmarry _ad libitum_ in a disgraceful way.

The marriage of the type-writer and her employer is so frequent that it has passed into a joke. They grow interested in each other from mere companionship.

A student falls in love with the sister of his friend where he visits during vacation. The late Henry Ward Beecher met his wife at her father’s home whither he had gone with a college chum, her brother. I had an aunt who had offers from two students brought home by her brothers. This is such a common occurrence that enterprising mothers sometimes urge sons to bring home desirable students to introduce to her daughters.

A lawyer will marry a fair client. I might add that he is the more likely to do so if he is settling up a large estate for her.

A physician rarely marries a patient. If your heart is set upon a certain physician do not play the rôle of an invalid. When you are sick you should have a married physician. A young lady was taken ill with pneumonia. Her family were strangers in the place, and, without knowing it, called in an unmarried physician. He was interested in the case, but not in the least in her. A year later he met her, when in perfect health, at the house of a mutual friend and fell in love with her.

Living next door to each other will often make young people interested in each other. Church-work which brings young men and maidens together is fruitful of many marriages. A young man was put on a fair-table with a number of ladies. He fell in love with the only unmarried one on it. A young clergyman comes in contact with so many girls, and is so run after, that going to his church and entering into the work for his sake is but lost labor. If you want to work in a Church, do it for the Lord, without a thought of who has charge of that body of worshippers.

We learn from Abelard and Heloise what the pupil will become to the teacher. Almost always, when neither are married, free lessons in love accompany another kind of a lesson--that is, if the lessons are private. Men fall in love with a lady who teaches them anything. A young lady was taught Hebrew by an unmarried clergyman. They married about a year after the lessons began.

A man and woman who are in business together almost always marry. An author has been known to marry her publisher. A Mr. Maxwell published Miss Braddon’s novels, and now she is Mrs. Maxwell. Margaret Sydney is the _nom de plume_ of a writer who married her publisher, Daniel Lothrop, of Lothrop and Co.

An almost certain way to win a man’s love is to win his confidence. When a man talks to a woman about his greatest interest, he becomes interested in her. When he opens his whole heart to her, he gives her that heart. I never knew this to fail. How to win this confidence is the puzzle. The very man you want may be the one who knows the most about keeping his affairs to himself. You will have to use tact and patience in drawing him out. Get him to talk about his business, or make him talk of his books, his pleasures, his family: always about himself. Persist in this gently. Show him you can keep a secret. Encourage him to talk about himself until he touches upon something that is nearest his heart. Some men will do this sooner than others. The man who readily confides in you, readily falls in love--and almost as readily falls out. It is said that the heart which is easily won is hard to keep; and that the heart which is hard to win you never lose. When you have drawn any man to tell you his heart unreservedly, he is yours.

A young man was in love with a girl of whom his mother did not approve. He was much distressed by the fuss she made. He did not want to give up the girl or to pain his mother. He must talk of his trouble to some one, and he selected a young girl who was visiting the family. He told her all his troubles. She encouraged him with infinite tact until he spoke unreservedly. Whenever he could find her alone he talked of that and of nothing else. Then he planned to be alone with her. Before three months he loved her better than he did the first one.